Theme Song For The Month Of July

Very unique voice. I like it...

我会给你怀抱
我想我很快乐



这是一首简单的小情歌
唱着人们心肠的曲折
我想我很快乐
当有你的温热
脚边的空气转了
唱着我们心头的白鸽
我想我很适合
当一个歌颂者
青春在风中飘着
你知道就算大雨让这座城市颠倒
我会给你怀抱
受不了看见你背影来到
写下我度秒如年难捱的离骚
就算整个世界被寂寞绑票
我也不会奔跑
逃不了最后谁也都苍老
写下我时间和琴声交错的城堡
最后谁也都苍老

Kokoro is a Golf GTi and it's a HE...

Seems like I'm making up for lost time. I just don't want to pack everything together.

There are great news to be announced soon. Actually ONE piece of good news. No, not getting married. Stay tuned.

No pictures of Kokoro as yet. Trying to get it to look like a real hunky dudey before I take some REAL pictures and post them up.

Have I not announced that Kokoro is a 200bhp black 3 door monster more commonly known as the Volkswagen Golf GTi MKV?

Sweeeeet... I know. More to come...

Kokoro VS The Bank Account - Round 1 FIGHT!

Said to take it slow and I'm dying from the wait. Before I do anything rash, let me put this in words that I'm going to make far more money than what my Kokoro needs to be dressed up before I do dress it up. So the fashion statements got to just patiently wait for that glorious days. Right now, the coilovers will come first. It's looking like it's on stilts and this will not be tolerated, let alone the body rolls... Wooot!

After speaking tot the rep from APR, I felt confident enough to go the dark side but that will take place in a couple more months to go. The exhaust will have to go with the rear valence and at the same time, without moving up to Stage 2, it's pointless. Meanwhile, it might be good to go up to Stage 1 first and try it out. And if you're having a headache and these things don't quite make sense to you, it's normal. You won't wanna know unless you're got a large enough bank account to play with. I don't... So... Thou shalt be good and give my still "campus" UOB account a rest. As the Chinese saying go, to rest is to prepare one for the longer journey that lies ahead.

Solitary Is A Luxury

It's been almost a week of disappearing act from me yet again. I wanted to say I've done alot of thinking but truth is, I haven't. Good news being, I have concluded the general direction I wanna head so I'm slowly working towards it. I woke up this morning, feeling absolutely fantastic. I was driving from work and felt life is so wonderful, with or without anyone. Of course, having someone who can be there for you is a bonus but without them, life is still as good and it will go on. It boils down to our perspective and what we think of life in general. Once that is sorted, life is ready to embark on a fresh journey.

One variable and one time. Life is great and my new variant is going to take me to greater heights. This will be a tough journey but I believe it's going to be absolutely fulfilling. What is needed from me is a hell load of dedication and commitment and I'll telling you, I'm ready to go!!!

People come and go. People who appreciate me for who I am will stay for what they want out of me. There is no point for me to long and hang for what is not mine and will not be mine. Not wanting to sound narcissistic, I am not unwanted nor unattractive. I may have wrong people around me all the time but if I work to move North, I will get there some day. Meanwhile, all I want to do is to concentrate on my new journey.

If you see the value in me and what a wonderful person I am, we will get there one day. Meanwhile, I'm just happy being me and I will just be me. Single and happy.

Messy Missy

All messed up.

I know what I should do and I want to do it. Maybe through baby steps I will. But right now, I'm afraid of giving anything to anyone, anymore. Guess it's mild hypercondria I need to get out of.

As much as I know what shouldn't be doing some things, I'm sitting here, sobbing and not wanting to care anymore. But knowing the rational side of me will sit in real soon to end this hiatus, I'm aware of the repercussions this temporary insanity is going to bring and I'm not prepared to live my life with it and accordingly.



If I want to be the good girl that I think I am but am I sending out wrong messages, then I shall endeavor to do the little things to keep myself in track. A constant conscious reminder to self...

Taken off my cousin's blog and her hopes for me... That left me in tears on how much I long to just have you in my arms and nothing else...

Love once left me cold and gray
I had almost reached heaven
Just to feel it slip away
But life's too short to waste away
Being scared to take chances
Or so I've heard wise men say

I wanna be loved
Faithful and true
I wanna be loved
Ten million lifetimes with you
I wanna be loved
And after all I've been through
I'll let my heart take it's chances, just to be loved by you

I wanna feel there's a reason for living again
I want us to fly far away
And I want my heart to sing the words only you can understand
So put your hand in mine, say a prayer tonight
So that we may find love

Maybe If I Hope A Little, Try A Little More

Someone sent me this... She seem to know exactly how I'm feeling although the last time I spoke to her was months ago and she probably don't know what's going on with me or what's wrong with my life at this point. It's a tear-jerker...



Have you wondered how it feels when it's all over
Wondered how it feels when you just have to start anew
Never knowing where you're going
When you face a brand new day
It used to be that way
Now I just close my eyes and say

I just want to breathe again
Learn to face the joy and pain
Discover how to laugh a little , cry a little
Live a little more
I just wanna face the day
Forget about the woes of yesterday
Maybe if I hope a little
Try a little more
I'll breathe again

Starting out again is never easy
Disappointments come and go but life still moves on
With a bit of luck It's a brand new start
That might just work my way
No need to walk away
Don't want to live on life replay

Things will work out fine
If you can find the courage to look past the night
To see the break of dawn

Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough

Seems like things have come to a close last night. Or so it appears...

Hitting on the stop button but while staring at the blank screen, it messes up your brains. Maybe it's just the pause button. Doesn't move too right? It hits home real hard when someone shakes you up and points to the big red dot that reads STOP. The surreal image stares in your face.

The brain freezes. The hands turned numb. The head spins. The throat dries. The breathing speeds up. The tears run...

Uncontrollably...

I thought I prayed. I thought I did all in my might. I thought you cared enough. I thought... Or so I thought.

Never had I have this feeling before. Not knowing how to handle it, I prayed. Everytime I open, I cry. Maybe that's God's way of healing me. The tears were filled up to the brim and maybe that's why I couldn't breathe. Regaining the ability to breathe doesn't quite work hand in hand with having a clear mind. Had I not placed all my chips in this one bet, I might not lost this big. It was my choice. It is my choice.

Insanity probably comes closest in any form of explanation and definition. I have finally let it all go.

I don't wanna lose you,
I don't wanna use you
Just to have somebody by my side
And I don't wanna hate you
I don't wanna take you
But I don't wanna be the one to cry
That don't really matter to anyone, anymore
But like a fool I keep losing my place
And I keep seeing you walk through that door

But there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And its sad when you know its your heart you can't trust
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough

Now I could never change you
I don't wanna blame you
Baby you don't have to take the fall
Yes I may have hurt you
But I did not desert you
Maybe I just wanna have it all
It makes a sound like thunder
It makes me feel like rain
And like a fool who will never see the truth
I keep thinking somethings gonna change

But there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And its sad when you know its your heart you can't trust
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough

And there's no way home
When it's late at night and you're all alone
Are there things that you wanted to say
Do you feel me beside you in your bed
There beside you where I used to lay

And there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And its sad when you know its your heart they can't touch.
There's a reason why people don't stay who they are
Cause baby sometimes love just ain't enough.
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough.

Thanks for everything. It was a great long drive.

Carpe Diem

So many variables in my life. Too much for comfort. Too much for my puny brains. Decisions, decisions, decisions...

Push? Pull? Push? Pull? But what the hell?

Get lost right now... Or so I told myself. What am I getting myself into?

The right mindset. But what is right? What mindset? But what the freaking hell?

Can't you tell I'm lost?

Thou shalt not play with fire but after speaking to Alkie Empress Dowager, I've decided to live my life for now. I don't think I have the energy to insist on having the life I want anymore. The people who are meant to complete the picture have all died into the surroundings. I have blended into a patch of grey water colour, neither here nor there. Carpe diem...

Some people makes you ache and yet you long for them. Some people makes your heart beat fast and laugh but you push them further. Some people are just not right, you condone. Is that all wrong? God works in mysterious ways.

Before you know it, I'm long gone...



I know if I could find the words
To touch you deep inside
You'll give my dreams just one more chance
To let this be our last goodbye

You & I Both

Was it you who spoke the words that things would happen but not to me
Oh things are gonna happen naturally
Oh taking your advice I'm looking on the bright side
And balancing the whole thing
But often times those words get tangled up in lines
And the bright lights turn to night
Until the dawn it brings
Another day to sing about the magic that was you and me


It's been a while. Besides Kokoro taking some of my time trying to get some new shoes on for him and organising to get him to look better, I've been pretty messed up.

Everything at home seems fine. It was a day to pamper Daddy yesterday and was at Vivocity. Think he was chuffed when he was ushered into the private room at Crystal Jade.

After some time of not hearing the voice, I thought I'd not be bothered. Load of codswallop. I can't seem to get past myself so I filled my life with more colours and voices. Talking to Alkie Empress Dowager and Babe Jie Jie made me feel that I'm not all alone in the world. Friends are great consolations that life has so much more to offer. Taking this bit of time to nip out made me see that if this is not meant to me, there should be no reason why I should be around to create more problems for everyone.

And it's okay if you have go away
Oh just remember the telephone works both ways
And if I never ever hear them ring
If nothing else I'll think the bells inside
Have finally found you someone else and that's okay
Cause I'll remember everything you sang

To think of the dreams we built, the songs we sang and the love (or maybe not) we shared, it's painful to let it off the system. Having said that, if it is an impossibility, why am I insisting on being the stupid one?

Shall we talk?

明月光　為何又照地堂
寧願在公園躲藏　不想喝湯
任由目光　留在漫畫一角
為何望母親一眼就如罰留堂

孩童只盼望歡樂　大人只知道寄望
為何都不大懂得努力體恤對方
大門外有蟋蟀　迴響卻如同幻覺
SHALL WE TALK, SHALL WE TALK
就當重新手拖手去上學堂

陪我講　陪我講出我們最後何以生疏
誰怕講　誰會可悲得過孤獨探戈
難得　可以同座　何以　要忌諱赤裸
如果心聲真有療效　誰怕暴露更多
(你別怕我)

螢幕發光　無論什麼都看
情人在分手邊緣只敢喝湯
若沉默似金　還談什麼戀愛
寧願在發聲機器面前笑著忙

成人只寄望收穫　情人只聽見承諾
為何都不大懂得努力珍惜對方
螳螂面對蟋蟀　迴響也如同幻覺
SHALL WE TALK, SHALL WE TALK
就算牙關開始打震　別說謊

陪我講　陪我親身正視眼淚誰跌得多
無法講　除非彼此已失去了能力觸摸
鈴聲　可以寧靜　難過　卻避不過
如果沉默太沉重　別要輕輕帶過

明月光　為何未照地堂
孩兒在公司很忙　不需喝湯
SHALL WE TALK　斜陽白趕一趟
沉默令我聽得見葉兒聲聲降



well I'm almost finally, finally, finally out of words.

有些坚持却永远磨不掉

用起伏的背影 挡住哭泣的心
有些故事 不必说给 每个人听
许多眼睛 看的太浅太近
错过我没被看见 那个自己
用简单的言语 解开超载的心
有些情绪 是该说给 懂的人听
你的热泪 比我激动怜惜
我发誓要更努力 更有勇气
等下一个天亮 去上次牵手赏花那里散步好吗
有些积雪会自己融化
你的肩膀是我豁达的天堂
等下一个天亮 把偷拍我看海的照片送我好吗
我喜欢我飞舞的头发
和飘着雨还是眺望的眼光
时间可以磨去我的棱角
有些坚持却永远磨不掉
请容许我 小小的骄傲
因为有你这样的依靠

You And I Both

Running in is the most painful process especially when I've given myself till Tuesday to do so and the last I checked, I've only clocked 300+km. Taking nice long drives are within the plans but combined with serious efforts of keeping myself busy with alot of voices around me. Driving around alone reminds me of the possibility of having a familiar face singing along to Jason Mraz with me in the car taking the long running in drive to nowhere.

Was it you who spoke the words that things would happen but not to me

I may not have the cutest face nor the best personality around but that doesn't warrant a disappearing act. I may be an insignificant nobody who comes and goes in your vibrant life but the difference you have made can't be wiped away overnight. If things don't work, you know it better than everyone else from being the counsellor and first party that closures are necessary. This is such a mess I can't wait to get out of.

Darling you got to let me know
Should I stay or should I go?
If you say that you are mine
I'll be here 'til the end of time
So you got to let me know
Should I stay or should I go?

It's always tease, tease, tease
You're happy when I'm on my knees
One day is fine the next is black
So if you want me off your back
Well come on and let me know
Should I stay or should I go?

Should I stay or should I go now?
Should I stay or should I go now?
If I go there will be trouble
An' if I stay it will be double
So come on and let me know...

This indecision's bugging me
If you don't want me, set me free
Exactly who I'm supposed to be
Don't you know which clothes even fit me?
Come on and let me know
Should I cool it or should I blow?


Back to Kokoro, I've been spending sleepless nights (sleepless not due to Kokoro) thinking about engine oil change, transmission issues... My waist and hair volume are apparently going at opposite ends in terms of volume, non-favourable unfortunately. I wish I have someone to bug to about Kokoro... Excluding people like Fatshark, Kenntona, Como, Silver...

Do I need to reiterate that I am NOT a boy?

What happened to "everything will just be fine?"

What Just Happened?

Picked up Kokoro and I've been spending all my time running around and trying to get my life sorted. More often than not, I sink into a daze I couldn't get out of. Tell me it was a dream. I have no idea what's going on. When people ask how am I doing, I don't have an answer readily. If I go with an "ok", I am lying through my teeth and everyone could see it. If I go with a "no", I don't quite have an explanation for why I'm not ok but I'm just not ok. My hands are constantly cold and sweaty. Driving alone just encourages tears.

For those of you who are awaiting for more news of Kokoro, watch this space.

到最后, 心痛了, 放弃了, 哭泣了

I need a shoulder for these tears... I'm so tired.



我和你啊存在一种危险关系
彼此挟持这另一部份的自己
本以为这完整了爱的定义
那就乖乖的守护着你
相爱变成猜忌怀疑的烂游戏
规则是要憋着呼吸越靠越近
但你的温柔是我唯一沉溺
你是爱我的就不怕有缝隙
在我心上用力的开一枪
让一切归零在这声巨响
如果爱是说什么都不能放
我不挣扎反正我也没差

人质在这一刻得到释放
相爱的纯粹落得如此下场
你满意吗我们都别说谎

I Want My Kokoro Now!

There's been so much delay and I thought I'd finally be able to see my Kokoro. It's like seeing your long lost sibling. You feel that you know them so well but in actual fact, you don't really know them until you interact with them. The timeline gets delayed further and further and my poor Kokoro is not even registered which makes it still illegal for local roads. Having a soft heart doesn't quite help in me trying to brace myself to scream at the SE. On top of which, I didn't have the strength to bring myself to.

Hourly countdown to 5.30pm tomorrow...

Also, it's not helping that I'm constantly on the verge of braking into tears.

Crypt-onite

All I want to do is find a way back into love.

Being cryptic is probably the last thing on my mind while deciding to type out my frustrations today. Saying it's frustration is purely under describing it. I'm exasperated and all ready to take a break in life and disappear for a good while, away from people I know, from work, from life, from every single freaking disturbing thing. Often caught disgruntled with trust issues and people I love, I'm not usually this easily affected. I do hold my breath and patience exceptionally well in my whole honest opinion.

All hell broke loose emotionally and if there's a better way to describe it, I can't think of any right now.

What do I do to make you want me
What have I got to do to be heard

The guessing game is anything but fun. I've always believed to hold one's silence is the best way to go in terms of not filthily involved. But when the truth gets further and further away, beyond reasonable reach (beginner to sound like a criminal law essay), one retreats in fear and rebound with anger.

I need to breathe...

kiss me beneath the milky twilight
Lead me out on the moonlit floor

Heck it, I don't want to be bothered anymore!

Roar!

蓝天

忽醒忽睡 我又挣扎了一夜 窗外透进 几丝光线
空荡的房间 留着你的照片 幸福的感觉 索然无味

无心唱歌 却又拨断琴弦 所有的事 留给明天
感情的善变 挖空心思遮掩 谁能用真心 说抱歉

我陷在爱里面 渐渐疲惫的脸
仿佛是退不出 又走不进你的世界
我陷在爱里面 是谁停住时间
越过了重重的心墙 有一整片蓝天

就陷在爱里面 一张无辜的脸
仿佛是退不出 又走不进你的世界
我陷在爱里面 谁停住了时间
越过了重重的心墙 有一整片蓝天

Kokoro Comes, Kokoro Goes

The snuggle seems to be evolving into a struggle. The ache reminds one of staring at the situation for far too long and feeling the pain of an onlooker. Disappointment is but one of the hundreds of mixed emotions. Constantly reminding myself I have the walk the walk, talk the walk, all by myself.

This feels very much like a two way radio, except that I kept talking into one, kept "roger-ing" into the walkie-talkie, thinking that one day my messages will be heard. Little do I know, the other walkie with the same frequency might have forgotten to recharge or went back to its last frequency. The frequency may not be the clearest for all we know, though on this side of the walkie we too do not know if the other walkie has been turned off. Not knowing doesn't mean stopping to give, tears and aches lead to disappointment and emptiness that catalyse the impending departure. Courage can only do so much and too much courage spells brainlessness.

True love waits for no one when it's blinking right in front of you. Before you know it, it's all gone. To fight and struggle is part of an attempt to save a belief. The belief erodes, trust fades, love hangs on with the very last bit of pain. We all know it's gone... Why didn't anyone tell me? I think everyone did, I chose to shut my ears and refused to face up to reality. I think it's time I take my leave...

The once upon a time long drive, the afternoon anticipation to hear the voice, the conversations filled with excessive but enjoyable laughters, the nights without any form of response. It's not just honey, it's Manuka. And you'd think it's special...

The best birthday could well be the worst. But what do I know... 我很好



沙发上睡着
孤单冷醒的破晓
冷的面条热的泪痕
啤酒在苦笑
当时的煎熬
当时的心痛如绞
天终于亮了
遗憾终于退潮
终于能够恨不再疯
泪不再掉心不跑
一定会有一个人
一段新的美好

谁让我拥抱
谁让我再一次心跳
就算爱情让我再次的跌倒
伤痕也要是一种骄傲
谁让我拥抱
谁让我疯狂的心跳
就算明天整个城市要倾倒
也让我爱到最后一秒
丢掉电影票
删掉信件跟合照
洗了床单剪了头发
清空了烦恼
恨可以很小
小到眼泪能冲掉
我现在很好
可以重新起跑
终于能够恨不再疯
泪不再掉心不跑
一定会有一个人
一段新的美好

谁让我拥抱
谁让我再一次心跳
就算爱情让我再次的跌倒
伤痕也要是一种骄傲
谁让我拥抱
谁让我疯狂的心跳
就算明天整个城市要倾倒
也让我爱到最后一秒

地铁涌出了人潮
幸福涌出了预兆
我会找回当初对爱天真的霸道

谁让我拥抱
谁让我再一次心跳
就算爱情让我再次的跌倒
伤痕也要是一种骄傲
谁让我拥抱
谁让我疯狂的心跳
就算明天整个城市要倾倒
也让我爱到最后一秒
谁让我拥抱
谁让我疯狂的心跳
就算明天整个城市要倾倒
也让我爱到最后一秒

On a separate note, Kokoro will report for first day at work on Tuesday. *Roar

我为什么那么爱你

往大海里沉没
一动不动
到烟头烫了你的手
不要说什么都别刺破
就算结束
努力温暖到最后
我想静静离开
你却从背后
拉住我的手
你并没有用力
怎么我那么痛
我多想说没有关系
我还爱你
却挤不出一丝力气
是我错过什么记忆
才从幸福跳到这里
最怕自己从今以后
什么都不相信
当初多勇敢爱了你
多勇敢才能原谅你
我为什么那么爱你
爱到什么都说可以
发誓绝不做的事情
现在做的不想放弃
爱情到底让人脆弱
还是让人坚定
我用尽最后的力气
从头到尾都没有哭泣
爱曾是我盲目的理由
你犯的错
除了我别人都看透
暮色中
心特别的寂寞
眼眶的泪
该为你还是为我流

Trust My Kokoro

Since young, my parents gave me alot of freedom. As I was growing up, I understood why. Dad being a very strict parent, would never allow me to stay out, afraid that I would be led astray. Given my personality, I would have fallen to the dark side pretty easily. But as I grew older, Mom and Dad never bugged me for staying out late, drinking, partying because I would always inform them volunteerily of my whereabouts and they never had to worry. I came home at the time which I said I would and I did. Before I knew it, they couldn't be bothered anymore. When much younger, I used to think I had little freedom. Subsequently, I realised that was necessary at that given stage of my growing up. In fact, I'm grateful for all that because that meant that I'm enjoying endless freedom since I gained independence from allowing them to trust me.

Trust determines whether we allow ourselves to be friends of others or to fall in love. But getting betrayed of this trust is something I'm too used to experiencing. So much so, I'm actually numb and forgot how trusting someone feels like. Just a feel months back, I thought I could trust someone with my life. Without much thought, I willingly gave my life to him. Relative to people who say yes to proposals not knowing what they are getting themselves into, I knew that was what I wanted and I was a willing sheep. Nope it wasn't a proposal so don't start calling me and I'm still single, just not available that's all. I knew I was in imminent danger because I have never trusted someone so much and never felt that I could give away my lifetime. Until now, I still feel the same. But somewhere along the way, second thoughts hit and before I knew it, you were gone. When I was finally told, "I'll talk to you when I'm back", I knew you were just too far away. The trust I had was shattered. The only time in my life, I stupidly stayed put and allow myself to be hurt once and again. All because I trusted one person. Maybe I shouldn't but I did and still do. How incorrigible and stubborn can one get. I'm a monkey, damn it, not a cow.

It's the same thing for friends. People you think you trust them with every last deepest darkest secret you carry, may for not reason, turn their back and say hurting things about you. I don't usually give a damn. Yes, I'm actually a boy stuck in a girl's body. I can have a proper conversation with you regarding cars. That aside, only when I genuinely consider some people as friends, I trust them with my life. Not the same as the instance in the second paragraph. That's unique and never before. It's a one off incident and will probably occur to only one person. But when it's friends, on a general level, I expect to be treated genuinely. Not too much to ask for but it seldom materialises itself and bloom into what you thought that you have been seeing. Even giving all that you can, people mistaken your actions and act against them. Tragedy for an insignificant life.

All I wanna do is to hide in your arms and seek refuge...

Following some question marks, I have decided to give "Goma" a more permanent name. As I mentioned earlier, it was just temporary until I go fetch it. Now that the date is drawing near, I have one suggestion putting out and hoping to get some feedback. I actually like this...

Kokoro (心:こころ) is a concept that crosses through many martial arts, but has no single discrete meaning. In context, it means something like "heart," "character," or "attitude." Character is a central concept in karate, and in keeping with the do nature of modern karate, there is a great emphasis on improving oneself. It is often said that the art of karate is for self-defense; not injuring one's opponent is the highest expression of the art.

If you read it in Chinese, it's the "heart". All I wanna do now is to take good care of my heart...

I… can’t get out of bed today
Or get you off my mind
I just can’t seem to find a way
To leave the love behind

I ain’t tripping
I’m just missing you
You know what I’m saying
You know what I mean

You’ve kept me hanging from a string
While you make me cry
I’ve tried to give you everything
But you just give me lies

I ain’t tripping
I’m just missing you
You know what I’m saying
You know what I mean

Every now and then when I’m all alone
I’d be wishing that you would call me on the telephone
Say you want me back but you never do
I feel like such a fool
There’s nothing I can do
I’m such a fool for you

I can’t take it
What am I waiting for?
I’m still breaking
I miss you even more
And I can’t fake it
The way I could before
I hate you but I love you
I can’t stop thinking of you
It’s true, I’m stuck on you

Now loves a broken record that’s been
Skipping in my head
I keep singing yesterday
Why we have to play these games we play

I ain’t tripping
I’m just missing you
You know what I’m saying
You know what I mean
Every now and then when I’m all alone
I’d be wishing that you would call me on the telephone
Say you want me back but you never do
I feel like such a fool

I can’t take it
What am I waiting for?
I’m still breaking
I miss you even more
And I can’t fake it
The way I could before
I hate you but I love you
I can’t stop thinking of you
It’s true, I’m stuck on you

Every now and then when I’m all alone
I’d be wishing that you would call me on the telephone
Say you want me back but you never do
I feel like such a fool
There’s nothing I can do
I’m such a fool for you

I can’t take it
What am I waiting for?
I’m still breaking
I miss you even more
And I can’t fake it
The way I could before
I hate you but I love you
I can’t stop thinking of you
I hate you but I love you
I can’t stop thinking of you
Don’t know what to do
I’m stuck on you

Granite Grey Graphite Grey Overcast Grey

This is almost a done deal. I've decided to go for these Prodrive GC014i in 18". The 19" will kill me in terms of rubber changing as Michelin's PS2 aren't quite known to have a long lifespan. When I visited Leong Seng last week, I was adamant on getting the Volk but when I saw the Prodrive's, considering it weighs almost like the Volk, I was tempted. In the end, it was just a tossup within the Prodrives, namely GC07C, GC10E and the GC014i. The GC014i just have the right well crafted spokes, I was immediately sold although the only BBK that would fit in time to come, would only be the Alcons. I shall give Leong Seng another call to make sure that they still have it.

Taking of delivery will tentatively take place coming Sunday or Monday and anyhoo, I'd most likely have to take Monday off.

Skeeter Mom will be flying off to Germany to visit Fatshark Guru and they will be doing major "killings" in France and Switzerland. My shopping list and Euros are in the good hands of Skeeter Mom and fingers crossed, she will be back with either my Miu Miu Coffer or some LVs. Surprisingly, the Miu Mius would be the more pricey buys but I have no qualms. Totally sold to the idea of a casual classic and besides, suits me to a T.

Shoes and bags totally kill us women in very polarised ways. Men will never understand, rarely... Probably Fatshark Guru does. Then again... During lunch with Skeeter Mom today led to another little purchase of a pair of stiletto pumps and in anticipation of waiting for Pilotsnoopy to end his meeting, shopping in town is inevitable. I might just be able to ward off the temptations but if I'm allowed to run into some well-detailed heeled sandals, I'd melt in a heartbeat and before long, the credit card will leave my wallet for 30 seconds though it's daily regular ritual of stripping the bank account dry.

In the all of nothing game that I'm playing in almost every aspect of my life, I've been hit really bad yesterday. Like what Babooshka Mom said, aren't we all too familiar. It just so happened that it was big numbers we were talking about and it's the entire's quarter's pipeline all turned to ashes after a few phonecalls. And I have zero control over anything. Weekend and late night firefighting have all gone back to naught and I'm back on the finishing line, except that it reads, "Start" all over again. What a bugger! My Milltek exhaust is waiting for me... Pah! Good thing about being in our line, it's never all over.

Big girls don't cry. Breathe...

Prayers give me faith, faith gives me hope and hope gives me pictures of brighter tomorrow. We have once painted these but it seems blurrer and blurrer as the day passes. It could be my eyes failing. I can only hope that my bridge of faith doesn't fail because I've been keeping you in my prayers. With all the strength that I have remaining, there is only so much one can do. I've exhausted my means (if they even existed to begin with) and I am exhausted. I'm turning into a complete nutter! Maybe I've always been one but just totally unaware of.

Am I rambling again? Don't you all love it?

Malaysian Immigration

This story is taken from Asia One.

Travellers See Red Over White Cards

For myself, I experienced the messed up first hand but in a much smaller scale and thankfully, I wasn't stuck behind some massive jam. The Malaysian government had decided at their whim that they want to collect the white cards at immigration after abolishing the rule in January. I had to fill up the white form at Pengerang jetty and gave away my favourite cheapo pen to a group of unfortunate souls who didn't even have a pen to fill up the forms.

Thou shalt not go into too sensitive discussion and given my personality, I'm more than tempted to spill it all out. Then again, I'm not like a start blogger and I don't desire an insane amount of visits. I haven't even gotten a single cheque from Nuffnang and that shows you peeps out there aren't giving my advertisers sufficient support. Haha!

For once, I could fly to everywhere I want and shop till I drop, well almost. But with my little black monster getting delivered soon, I will have to manage my finances more sensibly and travels will have to wait.

Today's just a crap day... My worst day in my job ever... Can it get any worse?

Let's Start From Here

Just came back from an extremely short trip back from where Dad calls home...

Managed to rest my mind from all the crazy firefighting, crazy calls and one majorly messed up me. Wanted to pen down some thoughts but I think this song sums everything I wanted to say...



Giving up, why should I
I've come too far to forget
We're beautiful, we just got lost

Somewhere along the way
So much was missing when you went away
Let's start from here, lose the past
Change our minds, we don′t need a finish line
Let's take this chance don’t think too deep
Of all those promises we couldn′t seem to keep
I don't care where we go
Let's start from here

Standing here face to face
A finger on your lips
Don't say a word don't make a sound
Silence surrounds us now
Even when you were gone I felt you everywhere
Let' start from here, lose the past
Change our minds, we don′t need a finish line
Let's take this chance don’t think too deep
Of all those promises we couldn′t seem to keep
I don't care where we go
Let's start from here
Let's start from here

I've never been the one to open up
But you've always been the voice within
The only warmth from my cold heart
Let's start from here, lose the past
Change our minds, we don't need a finish line
Let's take this chance don’t think too deep
Of all those promises
Let's start from here, lose the past
Change our minds, we don't need a finish line
Let's take this chance don’t think too deep
Of all those promises we couldn't seem to keep
I don't care where we go
Let's start from here
Let's start from here

Work & Play Don't & Shouldn't Mix

Blogs by airline crews that tell all are the talk of the town. Singapore Airlines has already banned their crews from doing so. This boils down to privacy. Most people refer to their friends or family by their names directly revealing their relation and information that might not be personal at the point of publishing but might become sensitive in time to come. Company logos and emblems including the "kebaya" will directly or indirectly reveal the sleazy lifestyles of the cabin crews and this in turn might tarnish the airline's reputation. The act of blogging might be seemingly harmless but in actual fact, if it is an open blog, anyone will be able to access let alone the fact that individual words written in the blogs will be picked up by search engines. Since Day One, I have insisted on using nicknames and some of which I wouldn't even remember in a couple of weeks time and had to reinvent another nickname. It all began because I wanted to avoid some personal implications. It turned out to be a wise decision as many doesn't want their identity and stories to be revealed.

I mentioned way too many times that my blog is my personal outlet. Rightfully pointed out by Urban Legend, it might jolly well end up as someone else's inlet. I kept my entries to very simple and readable layman terms hoping that some of my stories, thoughts or decisions will indirectly affect my readers in a positive way. Admittedly, I've been negative and low but even then, I have received relatively good feedback on how some people can relate to my emotions and was reassured that things will definitely take a better turn. Even so, names are never mentioned to protect the "innocent". The only exception I make are new babies. They are just so pure and new to this world. I don't think I should hide them behind any veils. So far, there's only Laura Widya and Chloe Sim. I wonder how is Baby Laura doing now...

Back to blogging on work-related matters, I have always avoided them unless it's seriously affecting my emotions. Recently, I must say I've been affected more than ever but i know I will be back in shape very soon and be whipping up big numbers in no time. Keeping work and personal life separated is tough, blogging and Facebook just makes it harder. If only we can keep everything absolutely anonymous, that would be great but that too, takes away the fun. All I can hope is for you to enjoy the crazy nicknames I come up with every now and then.

Getting In Shape

Waking up early has always been a challenge to me. But the enthusiasm and adrenalin running through you might just make the difference. When I first started my current job, I was the happy girl, totally in love with every moment of my little life while working for the most wonderful boss in the world. I raced myself to work everyday just to get in before Babooshka Mom. Setting an excellent example, she was always around and has got what it takes to run an office efficiently. She understood the importance of being a good role model. It does make a big difference. The key between being an employer and employee, she had it all figured. Hats off!

These days, I've been getting out of bed later and later and only when being whipped back into shape, I actually got in alot earlier. But I wasn't that happy to get in. I wasn't smiling to myself and hoping that I'll get in earlier than anyone else in the office. All I really do is to pray hard that Shrek don't send me another of those emails telling me how f***ed up I am. The regular humdrum goes...

All I want these days is a good night's sleep and being able to wake up half an hour early so Comedy Boss doesn't have to save my arse by covering it all up for me. I feel so bad having dragged him down while he's also being whipped together by Shrek. When asked about my loyalty to the company, I started to think maybe it's just being loyalty to certain personality. Comedy Boss earned my trust, others will have to do the same. Remorse doesn't affect me anymore. All that is whipping me together is the thought of dressing up "Goma" and oh, the next Miu Miu bag.

Who's The Fairest Of Them All?

Life is so fragile. One day we're celebrating life, the other we get news of unexpected departures. Departures that makes your heart whine in sorrow and your eyes follow suit without much control. Life is too short for us to feel sorry for ourselves and worry about yesterday. I want to smile for today and now. Fact is we do have to worry about the "what if".

The precise reason why my darn bloody ridiculous excess for my motor insurance is out of regular proportion is all because of a big "what if". We can't be absolutely covered for what come may but why do us as humans try to do as much as we can for a tomorrow that we're unsure of even though we don't know if we'll be killed on the road tomorrow.

To say that I asked for it is not entirely wrong since I could have registered the car under someone else's name but it's about time I take on such responsibilities and be a big girl. For once in my life, I'm taking good care of myself and people around me. That feeling is beyond what words can translate.

I can rattle on but today's been just a crazy day. To go on about things I'm not happy with is not the way I do things. All I ever wanted was to be treated fairly. We'll see...

Birthday Announcements

My nose is killing me and it's causing the headache that's affecting my ability to function. Losing sleep should not be a peripheral result of an allergy attack. The dry and sore throat eventually prevents me from falling asleep.

Bunch of announcements!

1. Happy Birthday you Dodo in NY. All the best! Things are already beginning to look up and it will only get better for you. Love you, buddy. I think I should get you a TV so that I can watch it when I go over... Hurhur, I'll just go live with my twin... Oh she's coming back... Oh well, I'll go watch TV over at Yawho!'s place. Can both of you move closer to one another?

2. Happy Advanced Birthday to Grandma. My only living Grandparent... I've been going to church so don't you worry!

3. Welcome to this world, little Chloe Sim. Although a little premature, I'm sure you'll grow up to be a fine young lady. Does that mean that your full month celebration is coming up soon? Dang...

My head is spinning out of proportion... I should get some non irritating light into my eyeballs... No more computers! Bye...

你是我的答案不变的答案

Been more than a week of living by anti-histamines, nasal spray, decongestants, etc. Having the nose perpetually blocked and waking up with a super sore throat doesn't quite help when there are too much work to be completed. Taking time off work isn't an option unless I run out of all possibilities. Believe or not, I've been putting far more effort at work than earlier this year and all I wanted to do was to not sacrifice my lifestyle of traveling and gallivanting around while spending half my assets on a huge liability commonly known as the car. And in my case, dressing up the liability adding on to it's depreciating value.

Ideas and thoughts of various rims started to roam and focus shift and again. The only thing I can be sure is the rim size for now. Mind you, this is an achievement as I was still shuttling between 18" and 19" yesterday. I've decided on the 18" solely because the rubbers are going to be expensive replacements and having decided to dump my money on the really expensive PS2, it's only wise to take the 18". Plus it goes very well with the car 8 x 18. Perfect! Now, we need something that could clear the BBKs in future. If the rims can only clear certain BBKs, then I'll have to make extra effort to afford those "glorified" ones.

My big blueprint is more or less clear. Driving the car stock is not an option, it's a must. At least for the first few months, I will have to know and feel my car so much so I can hear what's exactly wrong. Then I would predict the suspension to be the first to go. KW V2 or V3 or PSS9, still on the drawing board. All I know is to do the anti-roll bar with the suspension. The handling would be the first I have to give some attention to. Power wise, I have more than enough of those at this point in time.

You will start to see my progressively mod diary over here in amidst of my mindless rantings. As of today, the antihistamine is taking effect, the z monster is calling me. I've been listening to the song I posted yesterday on youtube because I can't find the mp3 and they do not have the CD at Gramophone. Repeating the lyrics to myself reminds me of how much I long for your presence. Like you said, it's not easy and I have to live with it. I chose this passage and I will have to bite my own tongue and live through it. Unless I'm told one day that I'm not welcomed in the little house without gates anymore. That is when I'll take my leave...

Am I still part of the thinking process by any chance?

顺着梦的沿岸只有收穫没有遗憾

Caught "Made of Honour" with Ex-Sir's Sir today. He has conveniently became my weekend buddy since both of us have NBTD. Every weekend seems to be major shopping trips for us apart from the satisfying sashimis and Bakerzin'. I bought a VEHICLE last week and he bought a camera this week. I was drooling when I was the camera and the very one I wanted cost like TWICE the one he bought so thou shalt be a good girl and refocus (pun intended) my priorties. "Goma" comes first! Now why do I have to have a special love for expensive boys' toys?

For the past week of so, I've been sniffing, my nose is perpetually red and now it's even peeling, I've been waking up with sore throats with disturbingly-coloured half hardened phlegm, headaches come and go, body temperature goes dangerously up and down, my nose gets totally blocked when I'm ready to sleep or while I'm sleeping. The virus is getting to me...

Oh "Made of Honour"! After the show, we got reminded of "Cholesterol King's" when I was on the phone with Urban Legend and how my ex-schoolmates (all guys except for 1 girl apart from myself) were planning my customary wedding on how they only need the groom to transfer the monies into their bank accounts. These bunch of guys will probably end up as my "bridesmaid" considering my friends are all guys. With the exception of Alkie Empress Dowager who has volunteered herself sometime ago to be my personal wedding planner cum maid of honour. But you can imagine a bunch of guys doing the girly negotiations and all. This will be a sight! Watch this space... Mind you, it's quite a long wait. (Hurhur!)

Weekly mahjong sessions at Cholesterol King's place has become more or less regular and I must say, that takes my mind of silence. Without them, I might have sunk into a point of no return by now. Then again, the thoughts of doing up my "Goma" and how I'd want to do it and who I'd trust for advise had been occupying quite a significant portion of the puny section between my ears. After doing much asking around and reading up, I think concluded where NEVER to go to, who I should go for advice despite the higher price tag, and what I should put into "Goma" to make it a better ride. The choice is clear... The budget isn't. Danger bells have just gone off in unbelievable decibel and I've chosen to ignore. What have I done to myself? Self-poisoning is the worse of all viruses, bacterias and diseases. The mod poison is killing me slowly but surely...



如果世界忘了旋转
谁用春光让冬夜温暖
如果星星不那么灿烂
谁还会向她许愿期待她陪伴

如果今天泪光闪闪
谁让明天值得我乐观
如果怕风少了安全感
谁把我放在宇宙中心宠爱

而你是我的答案最确定的答案
像走在一条花开的路不会错过美满
缘分转几个弯证明我们不会走散
学会用眼神牵手那才浪漫

你是我的答案不变的答案
有了自己的天使做什么都显得勇敢
顺着梦的沿岸只有收穫没有遗憾
被握着手心看的未来永远蔚蓝

True Story, True Love

Says who that true love don't exist. I nearly cried when I saw this. I'm skeptical when I first read it and I actually thought, "ya right". But given the circumstances, who wouldn't want to be brought to safety in the first instance. I believe the scene can't be more touching. I know such sacrifices is absolutely possible. I hope never be put in a test like this but what would you have done?

'I'll be your hands and legs'


Sichuan, China

"Husband, are your feet trapped?

"Persevere! As long as you get out alive, who cares if you're crippled?

"I'll take care of you for the rest of my life.

"When I become your wife, I'll be your hands and legs."

These were the words uttered by Yan Niuniu to her fiance, Tan Xiansong, as he was trapped beneath the rubble caused by earthquake that shattered China last week, reported Tianfu Zaobao.

The 21-year-old man had been taking a shower when the quake happened.

During the shower, he had felt tremors and was certain that an earthquake would occur. He called for his fiancee to fetch him some clothes so that they could run outside for safety.

However, before she could hand over the clothes, the apartment collapsed and both were trapped under the building.

When the rescue team came, Niuniu was first extracted from the debris as she was buried in a more shallow place.

But the 20-year-old refused to be saved first.

"I'm all right, save my husband!", she teared to no avail as the rescue team went on to extract her first.

As minutes turned into hours, Xiansong was finally rescued.

However, there was no fairytale ending to this tragedy. The quake had exacted a price - Niuniu's fiance lost the use of his left hand.

But, the accident did not stop the devoted girl from loving her fiance.

"I'll take care of him. I'll be the hand that he lost."

Staying Stock

The loan is approved.

COE bid was a success.

Motor insurance covered by Daddy sponsorship.

Now, THE waiting game... THE final countdown... 2 more weeks...

The excitement is slowly creeping in. But Dad doesn't like the colour and he thinks I'm still at the deciding stage... Hmmm...

Moving on - Work, friends have heard my screams and cries. In fact, everyone has their whines and cries. I don't do rubbish work and I do make sure, that if I should put my foot onto the accelerator, I'll give it my best. The relationships that I've built with people I deal with are good testimonies of my working style. Remembering Babooshka Mom's words, I know I'll never satisfy the fast ka-ching and some expectations from management. I understand why people need and have KPIs. And as much as I'm whining, I too wish I could fill up those numbers. I just don't fall within this category or a fixed mould. I'm feeling the strain...


This Volk TE37 Time Attack only comes in 19" which I think looks perfect on a little black car, i.e. my "Goma". Rubbers may prove to be more expensive but this is one helluva unique set of rims and best of all, it's forged & light-weight. Leave your comments!

至少还有你

I've been wanting to embark on this topic since last month but didn't want anyone to think I'm particularly talking about them. So I'm not referring to anyone in particular unless I mentioned you or rather, the nickname I've given you.

Financial planning... Here we go.

If memory serves me right, friends and relatives used to avoid the then insurance agents like plagues. I guess times are different and people do accept the idea that they need to have some form of protection/coverage should anyone befalls them. Then the umbrella gets bigger, the protection extends not just to your life and health but to your mind and wealth. The business gets bigger and more people enters the industry. Most are left to sync and swim or just sink. Some emerge better and more motivated people, others just slump further into nothingness.

Just let me disclaim before I move any further, I have my own planning sorted out by someone who's in no way anyway related to me nor by any chance, even a friend. The reason behind this is simple. I want to keep my finances private and getting friends to do it just makes it a little more uncomfortable.

A very good friend of mine, Balloon Sculptor who recently changed got married and has changed jobs not one, but twice, is looking to move yet again. This time he's determined to make it big. I don't doubt his determination one bit, I'm more worried on his focus, really. But well, since he has decided to to put his foot in, we'll just help to pull him up whenever he needs a tug.

Jem called me today and asked about my new car. Frankly, I'd love to have like 10 cars and everyone of you get to do one of the auto insurance. Wouldn't that be great? Dreams aside, Jem recently started her own agency. On one hand, I'm happy for her that she's finally found someone she truly enjoys and her dreams are all so beautiful. I don't mean to be a wet blanket but this world is cold and harsh. Unless you can stay absolutely disciplined and focused, that is a dog eat dog world out there. Having said so, which industry isn't. I can only give Jem my very best wishes and if anyone were to need a financial planner, I wouldn't forget to mention your name.

My buddy who repeated a year with me during my JC days has been in this line for the past 3 or 5 years, till today, she's still madly running around. Whether she has made it anywhere near "the good level" I have absolutely no idea. But lunches with her never go without talking about buying a policy from her and her kind follow up calls makes you feel obliged to want to help her. Unfortunately, for her, my stint in Shanghai has built my resilience although I'm always really close to succumbing to "oh ok then..." My sanity mind and the want to keep my information private is still my utmost priority. I do want to help her so if anyone of you need to speak to anyone "non-obligatory", I can hook you up with the people mentioned above.

But if you ask me who's the best in the market? My answer is absolutely biased. He's not someone I'm using, neither is he someone who needs help. Not any of above-mentioned. Someone whom I totally adore... Make a guess! He's an Urban Legend afterall.



我怕来不及 我要抱着你
直到感觉你的皱纹 有了岁月的痕迹
直到肯定你是真的 直到失去力气
为了你 我愿意 动也不能动
也要看着你 直到感觉你的发线
有了白雪的痕迹 直到视线变得模糊
直到不能呼吸 让我们 形影不离
如果 全部世界我也可以放弃
至少还有你 值得我去珍惜
而你在这里 就是生命的奇迹
也许 全世界我也可以忘记
就是不愿意 失去你的消息
你掌心的志 我总记得在那里
我们好不容易 我们身不由已
我怕时间太快 不够将你看仔细
我怕时间太慢 日夜担心失去你
恨不得一夜之间白头 永不分离

Goma Goma

Been extremely busy the past days. It was a long weekend with Vesak Day just over. No short trips this time round. More exciting news awaits...

Sitting here with every muscle in me aching away. With viral fever, there's probably nothing much medications can do but just rest it out.

Back to the exciting weekend. Loads of mahjong games, evened out with no significant winnings nor losses but I did sign a huge cheque. Probably the biggest I've put my pen down on, ever. The result of this big action would be revealed in this little black monster with 200bhp coming my way in 3 weeks time. I must admit it's a huge commitment but I'm ready to take on the world. Well, with merely 200 horses, maybe not the world, I'll start with the track.

Having test driven both the Mini Cooper S and the Volkswagen Golf GTi, let me have a short writeup and you there, sitting at home or in the office reading this, shall have a smart guess on which is my ultimate choice.

It was a close fight. So close that I know the other car that I didn't choose this time round, will make it to my top choice in my next purchase. After talking about my choice in cars for ages, I finally muster enough courage and "strength (in terms of my bank account, at least for the meagre downpayment" to head down to Leng Kee for test drives. See, I never quite had the mentality to spend weekends test driving cars out of fun and instant pleasure. So only when I have decided to take the plunge and yes I'm going to be "married" to my "Goma (My car's name for the time being)", I made 2 appointments, one with Veedub and the other with Mini.

Chronologically, we took the like cute Mini out for a ride. If you think it's cute, wait till you hear the thing roar! The power kicks in the moment you let go of the accelerator. Yes, auto. I know I was talking about the manual and totally in love with the manual but I can't get over days when I want to perform my "Superman" stance i.e. one hand on the hand rest and the other on the steering wheel. Too much of a lazy bone in me. Having said that, the drive was wonderful. Probably because the test drive route was longer and made up of a good mix of straight and winding roads. Needless to say, the handling was superb. It felt raw, point and shoot instant reaction from wheel to wheel and all these were before the sports button was switched on. In sports mode, the steering tightened even further, the power was instant and reaction was pure superb. The car felt so close to the ground and the grip was unbelievable. Back to the showroom, the colours were limited. My favourite astro black with white roof and red interior was available but unfortunately, it was the display unit. I didn't quite like display units stuffs because I always end up with them and I have no freaking idea why. I believe with the JCW engine tuning kit, this car would be a demon.

Next stop, Volkswagen. First, I took the lesser of the two brothers, the GT for a ride. This was far too docile and nothing like what I had in mind. It was nothing comparable to the Mini and later on, the GTi. The GT was a total waste of time. It felt powerless, almost like a NA car. The interior wasn't far better. None of it screams quality. It was a quick drive and finally came the hothatch rabbit - the Golf GTi. After the disappointment with the GT, I thought I might as well head back to Mini Habitat immediately and dump my downpayment for the little power. Once on the road, this hot hatch showed me the power it's been wanting to unleash. The handling and steering wasn't as fun and tight and the Mini and it was no way as sticky given the higher centre of gravity. But mid to high end, the monster kicked in. Going faster was a breeze. It felt a little more floaty than the Mini but hell, it was simply too powerful I can't find a better suited word to replace. Now, this is true competition for the Mini. The SE wasn't quite keen to throw in alot of goodies and my bargaining skills... Let's just say there's still plenty of room for improvement.

Now the interesting vote takes place. Which car do you think I eventually picked? Click on comment right below and tell me what you think and given that the very few of you reading my blog, I need some comments to liven up this place. Teehee...

Another 3 weeks of waiting game... Like what Dpointt said, it's gonna be the longest wait of my life! Thou shalt continue reading up on coilovers...

Wandering

I haven't been able to form a complete sentence and have been deleting half completed posts. My mind isn't complete. My soul is lost. Bear with me. Let me recompose and I'll try again soon.

Taking Time For Granted

Propaganda plays a big part in our everyday life and I never quite doubt what I read on BBC News or what I see on Channel News Asia but the whole Myanmar Cyclone disaster has made me look at things in a different light. The media is largely controlled by the bigger and stronger nations. Do we ever wonder why Burma never quite wanted Americans to step foot on their land? I wouldn't if George Bush, the warlord + Texan oilman, is the president. There are resources to be exploited and the Americans are not going to give you all these help for free. Nothing is free in this world. Why aren't you people seeing it?

As much as I think Myanmar should push for democracy, let the votes decide and the people vote for what they deem as representing their voice. Taking advantage of these countries when they're most vulnerable is just not fair to anyone. Media is so controlled by these people on top and we are so gullible as to believe whatever it portrays. I suppose I'm a victim of such manipulation myself. So with my little insignificant voice, I'm telling you, "whatever we see or hear or read, there's almost always another story behind it."

Some funny clips to get you past the day like it cheered up mine...





Was suppose to catch "Jacques Brel is alive and well and living in Paris" with Alkie Empress Dowager but a meeting which I didn't know when it'll end forced me to cancel it. However, I did finally find time hit the gym and burn off some accumulated guilt. Subway completed the "I need to stay healthy..." régime and hopefully it'll last more than a month. Since my New York trip, I'm been diligently paying for my gym membership that could have been put to better use.

Life is short. Not quite an epiphany but it's a constant reminder to myself that I have to embrace life more than I've been doing. Dilemma being I can't decide if some things are a waste of time. Time is the very last thing that everyone of us should or could waste. Hanging on to a lonely belief is not easy... It's started to freeze...

Reduce, Remove, Redundant

Haven't been feeling too well to put together something to post. This is like month of natural disaster with the cyclone in Myanmar followed by the earthquake in Sichuan. The world is like falling into shambles...

I have successfully weaned off unnecessary internet activities while at work and putting in extra effort to keep pressing on. Right now, I just want to get my butt moving and off to the gym more often. Since I've been trying to stay away from the sun after the chemical peel, I haven't been wakeboarding like I should. But the photoshoot last week reminds me that I got to work those pui pui away. If you think this sounds funny, it is not. I'm really upset with myself for having the lack of discipline and I will have to defy all natural odds to get back into shape.

Had dinner with Mom and Dad last night and they brought up Grandma again how how good would it be if she could enjoy the good food I've been bringing my parents to. I really miss her and the love she showered on me. No one else will ever love me like she did. Shouldering the need to be a stronger me, I just miss the support she would give me if she's alive right now.

I wish my life is less sucky...

For you crackberries...

我這樣愛你

Totally forgetting how tough a photoshoot can be, I agreed to participate in one when Camel Chairman called me a week ago and told me of this shoot. The pictures are not out but I must say I had fun. OLL Lao Da texted me in the morning telling me of the name for the shoot. It's to be called Yang Guo and Xiao Long Nu because the number of models were reduced to the just the 2 of us. Then Ang Mo Phil became the Aussie bred eagle Yang Guo once had. I have no idea if Yang Guo had an eagle but OLL Lao Da kept me pretty entertain. The perfectionist in him, the determination to produce the best results greatly impressed me. To make sure his body's in tip top condition, he went tanning everyday for 3 weeks and went to the gym even more regularly. Such magnitude of charm in a person can only be found in OLL Lao Da. As for myself, I felt bad that I didn't find time to sculpt my body for this shoot (in fact I did absolutely nothing to help with the water retention) and was shocked when the makeup artist put on the pink wig on me. My clothes were suitable so they put together some white clothes just draping around me. The end result is me stuck in a super duper awkward position having my back photographed.

I hate weekends because it reminds me of how lonely my life is and how dreadful weekends can be. It's during the weekends that I'm being conveniently forgotten. Well, not that I'm usually being remembered. I'm losing it...



This song means alot to me. The conversation, the lyrics, the pain...

I hate myself for not admitting that I'm in the back seat.

Look at me
You may think you see
Who I really am
But you'll never know me
Every day, is as if I play apart
Now I see
If I wear a mask
I can fool the world
But I can not fool
My heart
Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside
I am now
In a world where I have to
Hide my heart
And what I believe in
But somehow
I will show the world
What's inside my heart
And be loved for who I am
Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me
Why is my reflection
Someone I don't know?
Must I pretend that i'm
Someone else for all time
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside
There's a heart that must
Be free to fly
That burns with a need
To know the reason why
Why must we all conceal
What we think
How we feel
Must there be a secret me
I'm forced to hide
I won't pretend that i'm
Someone else
For all time
When will my reflections show
Who I am inside
When will my reflections show
Who I am inside

Sponsor A Child

It is a fact that I don't donate to any Tom, Dick or Harry charity I see on the streets. On an annual basis, I make donations to charitable bodies I deem to have some amounts of interest in, World Vision being one of which. In the light of the recent Cyclone Nargis event, I would like to bring this up again.

There are many children in this world who needs help, as much of it as possible. At S$45 a month which is equivalent to about 2 dinners with friends or a pair of shoes, it could help a community and a sponsored child. The money helps to create employment opportunities for these communities and children are made sure that they have an opportunity of being educated while not having the need to work in order to provide for themselves. Personally, I think World Vision has done a great job over the years and they have been very transparent. Their financial reports are submitted to the Commissioner of Charities and the Registrar of Companies. In return, you get to help a community, receive copies of World Vision magazines, annual progress reports and a Christmas card from your child. You are also welcome to visit and write to your sponsored child. Please do consider giving back to the community with what little we can do.

The links are as follows:

World Vision Singapore

World Vision Worldwide

World Vision News Updates on Cyclone Nargis

World Vision - Sponsor A Child

Every child is precious...

What Women Want

I would never, in my life, imagined that I'd love a show like Ironman even when it stars Robert Downey Jr. But I did. Loved it. It was absolutely fabulous and it gets 4 out of 5 PlatPopcorns from me. There wasn't a dull and boring moment and there were so much of humour and excitement, we were just glued. After a hard day a work, I was more than likely to fall asleep on the less than comfortable seats at Shaw. My eyes were kept wide open throughout the show and we even attempted to stay till the last of the credits since A&E Quack believed that there's some must-watch surprise clips by the end of the credit roll.

How many times have we come across Swarovski crytal and totally succumb to the attraction and blinding blings? Please think twice before you ever buy any piece of Swarovski in Singapore. I'm not asking you not to buy and this is based on pure facts, not at all defamatory, so have a read and decide for yourself if you wish to purchase Swarovski in Singapore in particular. The customer service leaves much to imagination. Mom got Grandma a gift some time ago and the crystals started falling off. Apparently they had to send these to get fixed in Switzerland. So we did. It came back and the same thing happened again. It has nothing to do with customer service, just the less than satisfactory quality. But at least 2 of my colleagues have had tough brushes with the customer service. They take forever to get back to you and never once, provided relevant nor desirable services to salvage the situation. If you think you'll never have to deal with their customer service, by all means, go buy it. As for having to deal with the customer service, just pray hard that you won't ever have to deal with them. I'm not gonna go into any more details since I've still got my arse to protect.

The SE at Mini Habitat has failed to convince me why I should be paying more than a friend who incidentally is some kind of celebrity. Well, I've never quite looked at him as a celebrity so it's tough for me to figure why I have to pay more for the same thing. Let's see what new quotes he's getting me or I'll just stick to my original plans of getting a GTi, which is alot cheaper!

Where Art Thou, My Iron Man...

DGJ is the latest recorded victim of my cryptic blog entries. I suppose I don't blog to inform the rest of the world that I just had my lunch or had a verbal fight with the last cabbie. This blog is pretty much my mental and emotional outlet. I may not sound coherent cuz it is not in my character to write totally organised article and to review it 2000 times. It's almost instant what I am thinking of at this particular point in time, I'll type it right down. But luckily for you readers, my brains aren't that disorganised so I still have a recognisable trail of thoughts.

A couple of questions for all you men out there...

Would you date a woman who can't have a conversation with you?

Would you marry a woman who can't have a conversation with you?

Ironman tonight with Silver & wife, Acupunch & wife, A&E Quack & date AND ME! Fill you guys in on the gory details tomorrow.

Bachelor Girl

You must have learn of this whole Myanmar Cyclone thing that could amount to a total death toll of more than 50,000. This is insane. I was just right there 3 weeks ago and the beautiful sites of paddy fields and all is now history. Anyone doing any fund raising for them? Any rescue teams need volunteers? If you wish to lend a hand, please visit World Vision.

If you ask me, I have a very weird way of interpreting this whole Nargis cyclone thing. I think it's God's will to halt the entire false move towards democracy and stop the ruling generals to go ahead with the referendum on Saturday. This is THE crunch, the crucial point to force the government to open the country up to foreign aid and assistance which we subsequently hope if this happens, the economy will open up and the general Burmese living standard and conditions can improve.

On a totally separate note...

The Aussie band, Bachelor Girl, has totally disappeared after a few good hits. In particular, this song strikes a chord in me. I must have been in high school when this song was out. Bizarre lyrics like "So I walked under a bus, I got hit by a train" may sound really crazy but hey, don't we all feel darn crashed and burnt whenever we fell out of love and in some circumstances, in and out of love.



Hey Mom
Why didn't you tell me
Why didn't you teach me a thing or two
You just let me go
Out into the World
You never thought to share what you knew

So I walked under a bus
I got hit by a train
Keep falling in love
Which is kinda the same
I've sunk out at sea
Crashed my car, gone insane
And it felt so good
I want to do it again

Hey Mom
Why didn't you warn me
Coz about boys is something i should have known
They`re like chocolate cake
Like cigarettes
I know they're bad for me
But I just can't leave 'em alone

So I walked under a bus
I got hit by a train
Keep falling in love
Which is kinda the same
I've sunk out at sea
Crashed my car, gone insane
And it felt so good
I want to do it again

I wanna do it again
Oh, felt so good

Hey Mom
Since we're talking
What was it like when you were young
Has the world changed
Or is it still the same
A man can kill and still be the sweetest thing.

So I walked under a bus
I got hit by a train
Keep falling in love
Which is kinda the same
I've sunk out at sea
Crashed my car, gone insane
And it felt so good

So I walked under a bus
I got hit by a train
Keep falling in love
Which is kinda the same
I've sunk out at sea
Crashed my car, gone insane
And it felt so good
I want to do it again
I want to do it again

It was just a few months ago, I was told I was wonderful. I haven't changed. Things felt all wrong and went all haywire. I'm so tired. Why don't we have an emergency "Pause" button so we can stop life for a while?


18" on a black Mini, what say you people out there?

My favourite comic stripe and this one in particular, cracks me up. I love the way Sherman and Megan interacts.

Up Up And Away

This must have been the 2000th time that I'm changing my mind between the Mini Cooper S and the Golf GTi. Along the way, I've been swayed by the luxurious 1 series. When the logical side of me took over, that phase was quickly out. The cost of it is not justified by the engine, the heart of the car. The GTi with the DSG gearbox is extremely tempting. After getting past the emotional stage of the GTi being a thirsty car, I had to run into "300" during the last BMWsg meetup. He gave up his monstrous Murano for the cute little thing and convinced me to put the R56 Mini up to JCW stage one, the cost is minimal. Now, that moved me. Given the handling and the look of the Mini which everyone seemed to agree unanimously that it suited my image, I think I'm gonna blast my big cheque of this little monster. The JCW tuned version would boost 196bhp, wouldn't that tempt you?

Went for foot reflexology with my parents today. I was almost dying in pain and my think-skinned parents said they didn't feel a thing. I think my skin's just too delicate. I'd think twice before going for another one of these sessions again. Looking back, I was so mean when I thought those Taiwanese artistes were putting up a show when part of the punishments for the games were foot reflexology. Trust me, it hurts and if you ask me, could be compared to childbirth. And yes, I can say this cuz I've never given birth before. (Teehee...)

My skin's been terrible these couple of days. Zits are erupting and the rest of the face is just lacklustre. The rest of the week is going to be filled up with eyebrow trimming, facial and rushing home early to "mask" it all up. by end of this week, I should emerge to have better skin. Above all these rescue work, I've got to have sufficient sleep. Lines are appearing and acne's sneaking its way in. And all I need is just another extra hour or so of sleep every single day. thou shalt be more disciplined.

I can't force myself to walk out of the door but I can do what pleases me. Even if it means this brings extreme pain, the smiles and hope this brings is beyond what anyone can comprehend on my behalf. Maybe I'm stupid... I'm dying to be proven wrong.

该唱首什么歌来纪念爱的傻

It was yet another long weekend and as you can see, I wasn't quite concentrating on blogging. Not to worry, it's not due to any negative comments whatsoever and it doesn't bother me at all which was why I published the comments anyways.

Spent the whole of Saturday getting Batam-ed which essentially means that I spent almost an entire day at the spa and did an insignificant amount of shopping. This trip was very last minute and I decided to just go for it because I was so emotionally exhausted, I thought I should just forget that the world was still revolving. Quite obviously, it didn't work. As though the entire day is not taxing enough, I came back to a mahjong game which lasted till Sunday morning.

Managed to do some shopping on Sunday over at Sim Lim, frantically dressing and protective my new toy, the K850. Speaking of which, I finally got myself the light sabre looking phone. People who know me really well would think that this is pretty rare. Being the sort who would die to be the first few to get hold of the latest gadget, I should be thrilled over some state of the art phone and not one that has been launched for months. Yes yes yes, I did drool over it when it first came out but with the last few phones, I should have already learnt my lesson that if I have a little more patience, the prices do drop by quite a bit even just over a span of just 3 months. It did and I got myself a uber decent phone at a reasonable price. The reason for picking this K850 over the iPhone - The first generation of iPhone should still be in the process of immunizing against bugs whereas my previous K (Kamera) phone, the K750 served me well. With 5megapixels to brag, the images are extremely sharp. I can still remember my first digital camera with only 1 or 2 megapixels. These are the stories we tell our kids in future... "During my time...". Having said all these, I don't mind having the iPod Touch in my handbag.

Jewellery is a part of every girlies' world, not quite mine. I do get gifts in those little turquoise-coloured boxes that send every girl crazy but I have never quite bought myself those exorbitantly extravagant sparklies. However, I broke the rule today. For the first time, I got myself some blings, not huge and super blinding ones but something that I've always wanted. Conveniently while browsing, with very little persuasion, I got Mom her the most expensive Mothers' Day gift from me so far. I got her some small bling. I must say they are not super duper impressive but I did feel the pain when I paid for it. The message that I wanted to send across is not so much to impress anyone with excessive diamonds but to reassure my Mom that I do recognize that she's my only Mom and no matter what, I will still do my duties as a daughter and I genuinely appreciate her going through the pain of bearing us and bringing us up. Although with my Grandma around to bring us up, it wouldn't have been one of those painstaking effort but to simply bear with us was enough. Whenever I hear stories of how friends cope with their babies waking them up throughout the night, I will in fact appreciate a mother's patience and love more than ever. I can so understand why all Moms tell their daughters, "you will know what i mean when you're a mother".



让你逃亡又让你回航
让你依赖我也让你倔强
只要你微笑
带一点感动的泪光
我就得到可以再给的力量
我让你飞翔又让你说谎
我让你苛求我也让你奢望
我还以为爱
就是要体贴的退让
我们一起盖的罗马
你却跟他拆了城墙
踩过我用挚爱建筑的天堂
太绝对的爱变成了活该
朋友要我责怪我却只想重来
也许这就叫爱

Strip Me?

All you idiots who didn't tell me that I've got a funny strip of hair after I straightened it deserves a tight squeeze around your neck. I've been looking weird for like ages and no one told me. Just before we board our flight to Yangon, Jewell and Mask Bunny actually asked if I intentionally kept a tail or something. Keeping a tail? How professional that would look on me! I can't imagine. I am so gonna get a haircut today...

Things around me are changing and to say my life is screwed up isn't quite fair. It is not but I know it will only get better so pray for me.

Just out of curiosity... Tried Strip?

Strip me? Ya you wish...

Mini Me

No one likes to be wronged. This sentence is exceeding true for me since people often misconstrue or misunderstand my intentions or actions. Thinking that friends would understand me better, I rarely go out of the way to impress others because that defeats the purpose of finding true friends and when it comes to acquaintances, I simply can't be bothered to try. This is a fault and I know very well. Truly believing in friends who know me, will understand my intentions or the lack of it very well. To be wronged by people who seemingly know me proved to really hurt despite the intentions of the other party. The torturous refusal to explain the situation either due to discomfort or pride proved to be detrimental in life's many relationships.

Been psycho-ing into looking at the Mini all over again. The very moment I bring up the MCS, I hear endless approving nods from people around me. Apparently, it suits my petite, short, round, big eyes, flat butt, chilli padi image. It would be a perfect match with DPE ST-7 but to think the hissing supercharger would now be non-existent is vaguely disappointing. Having said that, with JCW tuning made easier on the pocket, the pocket rocket seems to draw me nearer and nearer to its habitat. With 22 more horses under the hood, my heart is tempted.

For the first time in many months, things are clearing out with credit card bills looking cleaner since Tiger first fell ill and the stretched New York trip. This overdue clearance means that Mom and Dad are well-rewarded with as much help as I can offer to make life better. Took Mom out marketing, super-marketing, shopping and made sure that she didn't have to worry about many things in the next months to come. At least, this aspect of my life, I feel that it's all complete and that people around me are being well taken cared for.

Over dinner earlier, Dad talked about me getting an apartment now since prices are at a low despite the crazy shootup last year. To be fair, it's not quite low but it is definitely not going any lower than this point. To end the numbers talk, Dad just said that since there's space at home, I'm welcomed to stay with them until I can afford to move out so meanwhile, I should seriously consider getting a car. My Mini is waiting for me...

Innately Habitual Defence

Most people will know me as rather chirpy, energetic and hyper. Most of the times, I can't even differentiate if I'm doing this habitually or if it's innate. After all the hype, I'll usually deflate when I'm all alone or whenever I'm with people I'm entirely comfortable with. Walls of defence are usually up without any specific intention to do so but supposedly it's a natural human defense. I'm not even sure if I've got a wall around me now. What's second nature?

Hope & Health

The last time I shaved bald (my head that is) was... Well, eons ago.

I was thinking this is a good cause to lose my hair for but the logical side of me quickly took over. Given the nature of my job, my bosses will go ballistic if I turn up bald one day even if my clients and candidates are acceptable to the idea of me losing my hair for charity. If you are able to do it, I do urge you to participate and sacrifice your crowning glory for these kids. Check out their website.

Time to keep fit! Put on those running shoes and join me for the Shape Run. Giving me some good reason to hit the gym once again and train up for the coming run. Pray hard that my ACL, lateral meniscus and collateral ligament don't act up. Ice... Ice... Ice...

Menstrual cramps used to be foreign to me. I used to think my friends are crazy to be taking really strong painkillers for pain that I've never experienced before. Recently, I've been contemplating going on the Pill. Yes yes, I can imagine those faces reading this. Birth Control?! It is but I'd rather call it hormone regulating pills just because they are. My main concern is if it will have a more permanent effects which is usually not reported or elaborated by the pharmaceutical companies. As long as it doesn't affect my ability to have kids in the long run, I think it's a win-win situation since it leads to better skin condition after taking it for some time. Any voices for or against taking the Pill?

Drifting By Crossroads

Formula Drift rocked. With compliments from Mask Bunny, we were seated comfortably in the Grandstand, otherwise, I'd been charred under the scorching sun. The SPF50 on my face doesn't quite seemed to help since I woke up today with red hot cheeks. My personal favourites would have to be Ryuji Miki and "Madmike" I was rather disappointed when Madmike came in 3rd since I think he's the most skillful drifter present yesterday. Nonetheless, they all put up a good show. There were several funny moments. Eg. The tyre delivering machine, or whatever it's supposed to be called, passed us and we were all cheering it on. And one of the cars had both its bumpers fell off during one of the runs. After that drag, the car looked "botak".

Just one question, let me know if you have got the answer. "Why does the safety car always have to be so fugly?"

Met with some of the old Sharkies yesterday and one of whom, "Not So Spartan 300" has just gotten his new ride. The MINI Cooper S to be specific. Absolutely gorgeous and I'm once again tempted to check the MINI out. The main thing now being Raffles' Place being the ultimately tough place to get season parking and everyone's been encouraging me to get a piece of property instead. That is totally out of my league for now. It's in the pipelines though and I'm pretty happy bunking in with Mom and Dad for now... Until Mom gets on my nerves again that is. Besides, a house is not a home without the components that makes it home. But but but... The MCS and GTi is having a really close fight in my puny little thing called brains now...

Yippe, my Twin in NYC is coming home soon. I'm quite sure she'll be back this year!

I went down to the crossroads, fell down on my knees.
I went down to the crossroads, fell down on my knees.
Asked the Lord above for mercy, "Save me if you please."

I went down to the crossroads, tried to flag a ride.
I went down to the crossroads, tried to flag a ride.
Nobody seemed to know me, everybody passed me by.

I'm going down to Rosedale, take my rider by my side.
I'm going down to Rosedale, take my rider by my side.
You can still barrelhouse, baby, on the riverside.

You can run, you can run, tell my friend-boy Willie Brown.
You can run, you can run, tell my friend-boy Willie Brown.
And I'm standing at the crossroads, believe I'm sinking down.

爱是一滴眼泪, 还没凝固已经成灰

爱怎么做怎么错怎么看怎么难怎么教人死生相随
爱是一种不能说只能尝的滋味试过以后不醉不归
等到红颜憔悴
它却依然如此完美
等到什么时候
我们才能够体会
爱是一朵六有天飘下来的雪花还没结果已经枯萎
爱是一滴擦不干烧不完的眼泪还没凝固已经成灰
等到情丝吐尽
它才出现那一回
等到红尘残碎
它才让人双宿双飞
有谁懂得个中滋味
爱是迷迷糊糊天地初开的时候
那已经盛放的玫瑰
爱是踏破红尘望穿秋水只因为
爱过的人不说后悔
爱是一生一世一次一次的轮回
不管在东南和西北
爱是一段一段一丝一丝的是非
教有情人再不能够说再会
教有情人再不能够说再会

I breathe every single breath with every passing second. It becomes easy to get used to the pain and silence. The noise and laughter seems to drown the cries and whines of sitting here facing 0 decibel. Waking up to a sarcastic bright cheery blue sky, your face comes to mind and I wonder, when will I wake up staring into your sleepy eyes awaiting that cozy "good morning" and a tight big hug. I can't tell you how much I miss those dreamy yet focused eyes. There are times when I feel like wailing a bucket but do you know how I really feel and do you care that it hurts so bad for me. Till this day, this very minute, I still insist on walking this dark tunnel that seems to go on forever. Every now and then, I'll be finding myself excuses to walk away, as far away as possible. But every single attempt proved futile. It's purely a belief, the trust and the love I've never experienced in my life which I can't explain. The disappointment of the realisation that I'm the only idiot in the entire universe to be feeling such is starting to hit in real hard. Is it wrong to insist that this is not a dream?

Hold me tight. 我也会有想哭的感觉

Home for This Doggie?

One of Fat Club's Jokers found this dog on Pasir Ris Farmway 3. He was attacked by stray dogs and is now homeless. Good samaritans able to adopt a dog and wishes to consider this dog, please contact me. However, do not think it's cute and adopt animals on an impulse. You must preferably have experience with taking care of dogs.

Gender: Male
Age: At least 5 years
Breed: Jack Russell (Pure)

If you can provide a good home for this cutie, please let me know in the first instance.

Shoulder To Cry On

Heard this song over Class 95, got reminded of Elementary (Primary) school when I first got introduced to pop music and then, Tommy Page was hot stuff! Looking back, it was just a song with soothing tune and today, it carries far more meaning than just a old pop song. It takes really bad and down times in time to allow us to sit back and reap the friendship we have sown. Some friendship need not take years but with a genuine heart, we can easily find some shoulders we can lean and cry on.

When I put up my status on Facebook wanting a shoulder to cry on, my phone buzzed within the next 5 mins. Alcoholic Empress Dowager expressed her concerns and reassured me that if when I need a shoulder to cry on, she will be there. There are many kinds of shoulders people need in different times and no matter when and where, a true friend's concern is always appreciated. Urban Legend Wifey has through her actions also reminded me that she will always be there to share the cup of Milo with me and I know during in times of need, I have enough shoulders to cry on.

Life is full of lots of up and downs,
And the distance feels further when you're headed for the ground,
And there is nothing more painful than to let your feelings take
you down,
It's so hard to know the way you feel inside,
When there's many thoughts and feelings that you hide,
But you might feel better if you let me walk with you
by your side,
And when you need a shoulder to cry on,
When you need a friend to rely on,
When the whole world is gone,
You won't be alone, cause I'll be there,
I'll be your shoulder to cry on,
I'll be there,
I'll be a friend to rely on,
When the whole world is gone,
you won't be alone, cause I'll be there.
All of the times when everything is wrong
And you're feeling like
There's no use going on
You can't give it up
I hope you work it out and carry on
Side by side,
With you till the end
I'll always be the one to firmly hold your hand
no matter what is said or done
our love will always continue on
Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on
everyone needs a friend to rely on
When the whole world is gone
you won't be alone cause I'll be there
I'll be your shoulder to cry on
I'll be there
I'll be the one you rely on
when the whole world's gone
you won't be alone
cause I'll be there!
And when the whole world is gone
You'll always have my shoulder to cry on....

Urban Legend has recently lost the Urban in the Legend. Either the transformation from a myth to someone who beyond doubt, existed or that this Legend took a step back into reality where life rightly belongs, gaining the lucidness from the loss in the process of the recent transient. Have I lost the Urban or gained a Legend? Sigh... The very meaning of Legend seems to hold the same weight and volume as memories. You think about it but it's not real anymore. Is it all over? And I thought although Urban Legend isn't the best thing since the invention of sliced bread, he's at least real. Or is it?

Does Manuka Honey still tastes the same?

Will one actually be missed due to non-presence or conveniently forgotten since "out of sight, out of mind" pretty much works for everyone? At least for me, absence makes... Rather not want absence. Bleah...