Sleepy Battle

Resistance was futile. The warmth revolving above the cheeks persisted. Pain proved to live longer than anger. Images flashed like they would during the last moments of oxygen intake. Personal failure was one of the discussion topics, discussion with the internal soul that is. The song on eternal repeat acts as the satire, sniggering at the plight. The heavy lids were in battle with a heavy mind. Flipping the Mac open for countless times on a sleepless night, singing the song to myself, feeling the warmth which was present only on that small spot. The rest were in shivers.

Wish one can be like a spoilt brat at the supermarket insisting on that lolly that caught the eye. By kicking legs, waving the arms and screaming at top volume just to achieve the likely conclusion. And by remaining the reactive one, with inertia greater than a normal passive mind, inactivity is clearly expected. The rack that I strolled to was empty, stripped of the last pack of snacks that could possibly bring the smile back. If the rain could wash away everything...

Some reaction would be good. But didn't they say be careful of what you wish for? Rather, some genuine concern would be comforting...

Rain rain go away... Little children want to play...

未來我得到的還會有很多， 但失去的，只有你一個

又來到這個港口 沒有原因的拘留
我的心乘著斑駁的輕舟
尋找失落的沙洲

隨 時間的海浪漂流
我用力張開雙手
擁抱那麼多起起落落
想念的還是你望著我的眼波

我不是一定要你回來
只是當又一個人看海
回頭才發現你不在
留下我迂迴的徘徊

我不是一定要你回來
只是當又把回憶翻開
除了你之外的空白
還有誰能來教我愛

又回到這個盡頭 我也想再往前走
只是愈看見海闊天空
愈遺憾沒有你分享我的感動

我不是一定要你回來
只是當又一個人看海
疲憊的身影不是我
不是你想看見的我

我不是一定要你回來
只是當獨自走入人海
除了你之外的依賴
還有誰能叫我勇敢

除了你之外的空白
還有誰能來教我愛

The Most Important Value

When Grandma was alive, she used to sing the "天黑黑" song to me. Dad and Mom never gave up even when there were regular false alarms. We would spend annual leaves and weekends just to be with Grandma fearing each visit would be the last. In our might, we did and gave all we could. I have never regretted a single moment. I'm proud to have such parents because they taught me the most valuable values I could only wish I can impart to our future generations.

If you are at any point proud of being an Asian, embrace your traditional values. These are priceless lessons you may not be able to afford no matter how deep your pockets are. Get your chest out, feel proud.

Fat Coke Only Please

Following a series of unfortunate events, I'm home and Kokoro as dirty as before. The room needs to be cleaned too, that is after I can get my ass off this seat. The bump on the tyre is putting the pressure on the pocket. Togetherness is the time spent with my Mac. Busy weekends are a good way to pass time but there are bound to be moments when you are absolutely alone. Honestly, I did enjoy pockets of time like these but there are the others when you feel, even when you're just bummer, it's nice to have someone just there. Having said that, is that someone just filling space and the need or generally as human beings, we desire a sense of belonging?

Knowing very well that the full fat Coke is detrimental to the body, I could not resist indulging into the temptation of a chilled glass full of it. Then there are the harmful bits and pieces that come and go and yet continue to haunt you, very much like the after effects of Coke overdose. Such is life but how jaded that actually sounded doesn't really quite matter to anyone out there.

Yet another night out with the Fabulous Looking people and without any surprise, it was a night of fun. Things may not be the same as before but just by having a good friend or two, makes life worth its while afterall. Friends who can trigger smiles out of you easily are worth everything in this world to keep. Friendship never quite comes too easily. Seeing A&E Quack going around high fiving non-stop laughing at his own jokes made my day, no matter how exhausted I was after an entire day at work. The unsaid understanding of a true friend is priceless.

Another week of seeing my own name published on the local newspaper instantly made me feel like a star. Not exactly for the wrong reasons but I wish the intended readers would pick the information up. If next week develops into an incredibly busy week, I'd be a willing candidate.

Blue Clouds, White Sky

The first thing I got when I stepped into the office today after an unwarranted long weekend, a vicious paper cut awaited me. It cut so deep, I could see my flesh, albeit a 0.15267mm of it. Sensing bad news a looming, I couldn't be more eager waiting for my desktop to start up. The calendar screamed at my face, I needed to do a presentation. Being still groggy from an overdose of medication didn't quite help with the speed nor the clarity. Incoherent was an understatement. Going through the slides, which by any means should be a piece of cake to me since I was last being trained to at least be able to present some topics plucked from the air, proved to be difficult. Firstly, the last of my voice didn't help. The pain in the throat was worsening every passing second that I had to speak. Lastly, I was all that the team had. Thankfully, just when I was running out of saliva to lubricate my throat, PapaTran came to the rescue.

The overpriced soup was possibly the most comforting dinner I can think of. Just 20 mins before that, I had to fight gastric pain and an useless bladder. It was pure relief to be home and to be on my bed. Just when I popped my last does of antibiotics for today, together with a cocktail of multi-coloured pills, an unusual box blinked. Reckon that it wouldn't be too important, I entertained my swollen eyes with ice packs. Intuition called me back. An uneasy feeling crept up my spine and so I checked.

What I read sent an array of emotions all around and not knowing how I should be feeling. The stuffed up nose still wouldn't pity me and let me go. The mind must be hallucinating, as I told myself. It was scary. I meant real scary because I thought I dreamt of exactly the same scene last night. It's NOT deja vu. I did dream of the same scene last night. I don't even know if I'm typing in my dreams now. Maybe the brains are too tired but I'm typing all these just to prove that at the point when I'm typing, I wasn't dreaming. Or am I?

Hold My Hand

After a night of coughing, the decision to skip work was right. Concentration was no longer possible and my voice was almost inaudible. With 2 doses of antibiotics in me, the sudden surge of energy made me feel vulnerable. The need for a warm body to shower some concern became painfully clear. The disappearance of my Singapore Flyer months back woke me up from being reliant on anyone. It was be the swollen eyes that blurred my vision once again. Independence is not given and to internally fight for it should not be seen as tough. It could just be the bacteria-ridden brain that is making me think so negatively. Maybe getting back at work and to keep the mind totally occupied is not that bad an idea afterall. Getting the desk up and running is building the tenacity unknowingly and being a better person is not the natural result. The fight is unavoidable.

Spending time on the BBM with Black Tulip kept me smiling while waiting at the doctor's and while waiting for the right warm body to appear. It is a promise to myself that friends like such are rare to come by, hence not to be given up even if Prince Charming were to make his appearance one day.

Girls' Weekend

Simple snacks with the right company made late Friday night easy to pass. Lonely weekends are far from over but comforting chats made time shorter. The cherry on the icing was an entire Saturday full of laughter. Massive amounts of food and loads of harmless gambling led to a group of World Cup widows screaming "what are the chances?" The unbelievable odds reflects very much on life. When you think it's close to impossibility, the unexpected falls upon. The only flaw preventing the perfect day out was the bad throat and sniffly nose. Sunday became a day of miserable self nursing and pure hope of recovery. There's so much I'd want to say, writing it the way I would normally do. But my cloudy mind is not allowing it. Proofreading becomes a chore. Tomorrow should be better. Good night.

Black Tulips

Half of June has past me by and this is my first post for this month. Much has happened and too much work was done. Last nights in the office became common. Views were polished and sharpened but have also left the views even more hazed than before. At times, it's not necessary a blessing to see things this clearly. Criticism has to be taken lightly and improvements need to be actioned upon seriously. It's more than easy to say, life goes on.

People who have taken their leave are found to be closer in the weirdest sense possible. To be indirectly rejected will make way for newer searches, better fits. Blockheads are better left untouched before the beautiful turns ugly. While watching the TVB serial, I was reminded that the person who was able to keep the most to himself might almost always end up as the ultimate survivor. Happiness was another objective altogether.

Grumbles are reserved for people who can accept you for who you are and that to me would mean the very person whom my bloodstream is rooted to.

Too much to say but no way I can put it such that it will remain my style, cryptic that is. Thankfully, there's one listening ear for me. That was the ear with no agenda and happy flowers. To say this person is a big brotherly figure is so cheesy yet so accurate. The only thing missing is the pat on the head and the big bear hug before my tears will readily roll down my cheeks. To be more liberating in emotions is close to impossibility. Not that anyone would care and on the contrary, it's more likely to be read the wrong way. The worst way imaginable. Emotions are probably best to be kept to oneself. Meanwhile, I'm happy to share it with Black Tulips.

Time Runs

Grandma is 74 today! For once, I feel that age is catching up on my last surviving grandparent. Last week, she had to go under the knife for cataract and as she was walking down the steps just now, she was struggling. I cannot believe what I saw because she has always been rather healthy.

Now now, that makes me feel how far I'm lagging behind in terms of life's natural progression as compared to my peers. Being Asian, most of my friends from school have screaming kids tugging onto their dresses as they attend yet another wedding of a friend's. Biological clock ticking? Nope. About 4 years ago, I would have agreed but right now, it's just leaving everything to "what comes may". Having experienced enough irresponsibilities and disappearing men, becoming cynical was just expected.

If you ask me, I just want to go on a race on the track with the C63 AMG for now and dump all the tiring thoughts behind.

By the way, I never thought too well of Speegies (if you don't get it, that's cuz I meant it that way), I just do not want to become one. Having said that...

Yardstick For True Friendship

Yet another 2 weeks has past me by. Time moved faster than I can imagine although things have definitely gone against my vision's peripheral. Some people have chosen to come and others to go. The yardstick for sincerity just shifts itself before you can even get your eyes fixed on it.

On Friday, A-litigator brought up several issues about life in general. Thoughts progressed and lingered. We all have choices even if it comes to companionship and this in turn, will result in the type of lives we end up living. Yet another friend reminded me of possible vicious words and with sufficient sincerity, we should be able to keep true friendships. Living in daily confusion of uncovering truth and locating the truths behind the truth, this world of lies leaves all of us gasping for the rare breath of fresh air.

Escape is meant for fools and it's not suited for me. The courage to face up and to deal with it would be my way but I won't impose it on anyone. If the choice is to silently walk away, so be it. To think that the initial choice was right but it was proven wrong subsequently and maybe knowing the truth will actually hurts.

Speaking of the devil brought about new meaning. The truth about talking about someone and to run into someone immediately. Hope this isn't yet another disappearing act but I know very well, this lunchbox belongs to another.

Incredible Weather

Has it always been such or is it global warming?

Just weeks ago, it was raining regularly every afternoon. It wasn't the most welcomed thing but looking back, I'd rather have a rainy afternoon. Recently, it's been hot and I mean, too hot! Hitting highs of 35 degree celsius doesn't quite feel fun. Having to shuttle in and out of the office going for meetings after meetings, all you want is to have meetings in the office and no where else. Unfortunately, with the change in portfolio, more opportunities arise for me to brave the heat to get to another location too near yet too far. The heat brought about cruel headaches and even on a Sunday, sitting in the room with the AC and fan on, the headache persists.

In the every littlest effort I can to reduce global warming, being environmentally friendly wasn't a choice. It was a calling to make this planet a better place to live in. Before I sound like the irritating overly environmentally friendly freak, all I'm asking is to use ONE less plastic bag whenever you can. Carrying a 環保袋 will help the world more than you think, especially if everyone of us can just save one plastic bag every day. If there's no need for one, ask not to have one. Admittedly, some of us use plastic bags as trash bags and there aren't much alternatives. But truth is, don't most of us have excess of such bags at home and to dump one away when trash isn't quite filled to its capacity? It's quite a shame when other countries are showing the efforts and a developed nation like ours isn't playing its part. Whatever happened to BYOB?

Do your mini part, do what is within your means. The next time when you buy a drink from 7-11, tell them that you don't need a bag. And I'm not even asking you to buy a packet drink over a bottled drink! Do me a favour by doing mother earth a favour and you'll find that, you're doing yourself a gigantic favour.

Wrong & The Wrong

Another work week passed and finally having time to type my mind out again. Watching the way I type and careful not to ruin the careful "paintwork", I sat down on my bed in this cold room, staring at the rain and watch the day go by. Questions pop up and you ask yourself if it's such sheer coincidence that when the confidence dwindle, things happen to force you to have double takes. Is truth that hard to grasp?

Musical chairs is inevitable everywhere I go. It's more than plain familiarity. In this case, it's the unveiling of a hidden star and the focus on the better. The want for a faster drive, a better life and a concrete roof will mean a tougher time, harsher objectives and greater heights.

Checking on numbers send shocks but giving it back to feed the people who protect and contribute, blame could only be on bad accounts management. Putting in the hours will in hope, bring some glory back.

Yet another weekend... To another week to prove myself.

Not So Sweet Potato

Physical food may fill you but beyond the acceptable point, the body would just reject it all. Mental food sits on empty dishes and the dishwasher goes into overrun. Standing alone in that oven-like carpark, staring at the spot that was replaced by a giant machine, tears were warm, gently reminding you that it's a mistake. It could have been the poor memory or the inability to forget but the constant shower of words about the cold, makes breathing really harsh in this tight space. Putting the index finger on the reset button, the lack of courage pulls you back. The need to have some firm answers on the definition of happiness sends you a frightening moment that made it sound almost deaf. The blocked off atmosphere became so physical and tangible of a sudden. The need to run into the warmth familiar smell again developed into a stinging pain.

Funny how the sweet potato isn't that sweet after all.

Pretty Weekend

Never did I ever have such long nails so I decided to do something about it, considering my last manicure/pedicure session was more than a year back when that big toe nail was bruised. Believe it or not, it took a whole year for the new nail to replace the dead one. Armed with a sudden sense of adventure, I went with a bright pretty pink. When I saw the girl next to me walked out with green nails, I felt guilty thinking that I'm actually adventurous. Call me conservative but I'm loving it. Weirdly enough, with the newly painted nails, I became really girly. I could finally understand why some of my girlfriends took forever in the washroom. I could hardly zip and button up my jeans with that newly manicured calcium blades.

Brunch with Attituder at Spruce was way overdue. With the same old giggly us and re-enactment of our classic antics, we had a great afternoon complete with good food and company. During these times, you start to think, "the men never gets it". Fondling with my Miu Miu Mini Bow, which we found out by accident that both of us bought the same bag in the same colour and the same size, you wouldn't imagine two boyish car-loving girls squealing over handbags.

The weekend quickly came to an end. Too short but there's always the next one. Sleep debt is something I regretted not paying off but time with friends was even more valuable. Appreciation is on top of the list.

Q-Bash on Friday was totally insane. This is the first time in my life I actually went to an event not dressed up to the nines. Instead, I was dressed like a Mexican man sporting a moustache that was stopping me from smiling, laughing and talking properly. If you need to imagine how I spoke, just stiffen your upper lip and continue that imagination with hair getting into your mouth all the time. The night was nothing short of fun. I am already looking forward to the next quarter and of course, before all the celebration means loads of hardwork. I'm now recharged and ready to take on more. Bring it on!

POP!

My first Pop! Not that this is my first placement but it came especially sweet after a horrible career downturn. This makes me feel that I'm finally back on track and ready to shine even brighter than ever. Life is way less decadent than how it used to be. Contentment marks the difference. But no amount of contentment is going to evolve into complacency. Up is the only way and the direction guide provides no roundabouts. Objective now is to create another (and yet another) miracle for my foundation preparing for the bigger and the better. Having a great team and the great work, life is almost complete.

Then again, life is like a game. When you reach the high points for this level, you will find yourself leveling up. Your experience points will appear low and although it feels like starting all over again, you know you're already above the rest.

Life is afterall, a game. Am I right?

P.S. Secretly, I'm a complex, confused and competitive person. Keep your fingers and toes crossed. The above sentences have no relevance but I needed to say what I wanted to.

Delayed Telecast

Those in Italics were written when I was sitting in the last hotel hotel where we enquired on the availability of rooms... Sense the frustration!

I ended up in KL checking into Traders' and spending a fortune away. Even when I'm home now, I'm still thinking of my Marc Jacobs. I simply miss Ritz in KL and their plush beds.

It cannot be anymore impromptu. Upon my last meeting, I hit right home to grab Kokoro and we were on the road for the next 3 hours or so. To be able to reach KL in 2.5 hours was a feat considering the fact that there was a stretch of road when it rained cats and dogs, I had to really slow down and squint my eyes for the last bit of visibility. Travelling on the North South Highway was all too familiar. The heavy lids after a long working day wasn’t. And hell wasn’t I vaguely prepared for what was awaiting.

The drive from the base of Genting all the way up to the chilly top, I displayed the infamous trait of the “B Road Sleeper” as affectionately given to me by Saints. With the face turning green and coupled with my head continuing to spin from the lack of sleep, I ended up with the worst nauseating feeling ever. My body felt like it was falling apart and meaningless tearing went on overdrive. I needed a place to sleep.

When I got to the hotel, I thought, finally! I couldn’t have been more wrong. I’m sitting in the lobby of the 4^th hotel I went to, only to get the unapologetic, “sorry, full house”.  And I’m contemplating to drive downhill to try out Awana and worst still, to go down to KL instead. It was meant to be an unwinding trip and I ended up worst off than just staying at home, sleeping the next 24 hours away. All I need now is a steaming hot shower and a clean comfy bed. I would pay a fortune for it. I swear I would. Trust me! I asked for the best suite in town and I still got the “full house” answer. How is that possible?

I’m freeeaaaaking blogging from my Microsoft Word because I haven’t got internet access. If I had, I’d spend the entire night meddling away with Facebook. I’m feeling like an idiot. A miserable one. Right now, I’d rather be back in the office, slogging away. I am absolutely serious. And I’m absolutely miserable. Yes I’m whining. I need my beauty sleep.

*chug

Just out of curiosity - Are Italics called Italics because some Italian came up with it or that the Italians are not so straight up (relative to the Germans)? Tough joke to laugh at. I know!

"Pop" Goes My Heart

Hectic is an understatement to describe my week or rather, the past weeks. The toiling is finally showing some fruits. It was an empty piece of canvas and now, it's got sketches and lines of a blueprint. It's a matter of time when the colours are filled. There's no need for a Monet but it's about completing the picture that you can call your own. I can't wait for the first "pop"!

Networking is always preferred when they come naturally. Business cards that runs out too fast only goes to show the pace I've been on. At the end of the day, it boils down to the company when the most mundane of all things take over. The constant laughter brought me past day after day way easier than I thought a Raffles Place life would be. Basking in the sun post lunch became decadence which I haven't had the chance to do it since I started in this concrete jungle again. My mealtimes are regularly 2 hours after everyone else's. Lunches at 3pm became common. Dinners at 9pm are an inevitable way to send indigestion and fats cultivating in the right path. But read this, I'm a happy camper. There's no way to possibly imagine me dating a few years back looking at my calendar right now and be feeling pleased. The people made it possible and I'm glad the choice was right then. There's mental note that I've been sending to myself read, "I could be more competitive..." In a good way that is.

Parking is impossible in this part of the country. The queues for lots are measured by quarters, in not, years. No longer is it the ability to pay for the exorbitant season parking charges, miscellaneous ERP charges and other costs of owning a vehicle, altering the situation the least bit. My car will just continue to sit in my semi-sheltered carpark to collect dust with the occasional weekend stripping of petrol making the main difference. Mileage sensitive me now has one less thing to worry about apart from the pending insurance and road tax costs. Supping up my baby and racing him has become the next on the list after Chanel.

The fingers typing is post is extremely rest deprived. The next weekend is highly anticipated.

How I love this world...

Talk About Insensitivity

What is the million dollar question you should never ask your ex-girlfriend?

"I remember you once told me about your contact who sells diamonds..."

Thought bubble popped with unseen eyes rolling in all directions - 'Yes I did because you were talking about marrying me!'

Is that a subtle way to announcing your pending wedding bells ringing or is it just pure insensitivity?

By the way, I hate it when I'm too smart to catch the little details.

Thou shalt not dwell as memories are meant to stay beautiful. To taint it any further is strictly forbidden. As a friend, the care for your well-being hasn't been terminated. As an ex-girlfriend, all one can ask is a little respect to not tear open a wound that has healed. Too much to ask for?

Fully Geared

The moment I got seated in front of my stylist, I told him to do whatever he wants and to cut it short if he wanted to. I didn't want to know what he had in mind so I would be in for a surprise by the end of the hour. While he chopped and snipped away, I was fussing with Facebook. I came across a joke. Considerably the joke of the millennium. I had no intentions of taking any action and if I ever do, it would be legal. No one taunts this cookie and I've made it absolutely clear. People who know me knows very well, I can be nice but don't attempt to even trifle with a well you can hardly measure. Drowning is no fun. This is not a joke which is why, this post is not dated on April Fools' day.

Had a chat with Peter Pan earlier on whether I should stick to banking or to return to legal. The conclusion was simpler than I thought. With the existing team, I'm extremely blessed. Having a mentor like Sexy T and a teammate like Sherzer, I shouldn't be asking for more although legal remains my passion. I suppose in life, you can't always have the best of both worlds. In my world, this is more than sufficent. From a quality to quantity driven role, a switch of mindset was mandatory. As far as I'm concerned, I will ultimately conquer the industry and be the same superstar I used to be in legal.

Prepare!

Roar! Book of Eli... As though that narcissistic man will ever appear here. Let bygones be bygones.

假装多好

On a Friday night, my phone was silent. I was happily overworked but I knew I needed to have a life after work. Drowning myself in more work in order to keep the mind from thinking didn't help. Getting out is just a way of staying sane. Some things or people are just not worth the attention. Or was it me trying to self hypnotise? I was trying to convince myself that only work was worth my time. I needed to prove myself and I'm not exactly a very patient person.

Dinner with Lao Ma & Da Shu must be God's evil scheme to make me fat again because when I lost weight, I kept meeting the wrong people. Not that when I was chubby, the people were right anyway. Having an office that doesn't stop eating and everyone still looks good, is driving me into a guilt trip everyday for not working out the calories. It's always good to be with people who genuinely cares about your well-being.

An unexpected night out to Club Atlantis was icing on the cake. With someone whom I treasure as a friend because we're so alike, we always fall into the same kind of trap. Unfortunately for her, she's always taking those steps before me. As a great friend, she will warn me ahead just so I don't get slashed like the way she did. She's almost like my own pre-emptive measuring instrument. My tolerance for alcohol has amazingly gone up. I may not have drank like the bottomless pits but I think I fared well.

By the end of the night, I found myself sitting in the car, parked beautifully in a bungalow lot, crying to myself. Mentally, I was exhausted. Is this a sign of burning out?




假装多好 我只想要再拥有一秒

去相信你的拥抱 一直会让我依靠

我被自己困在自己设下的圈套

假装多好...
我的拥抱已随风飘

How To Train My Dragon

While trying to stay healthy in a busy day, the solution is an Elephant portion salad from The Salad Shop. I was happily ticking and considering the amount of Caesar dressing I added in there, the healthy part went straight out of the window. Meetings were back to back. Tiring became an understatement. Not to worry, I'm not about to get burnt out. Happily working should be a description more apt for my situation. With a group of fun colleagues and an excellent team led by a great mentor whose exactly like me, making more money together than individually became a common goal. As an incentive for their hardwork, they were being treated to a movie. I tagged along and we watched "How To Train Your Dragon" in 3D. As a person who gets motion sick very easily, I think I survived the movie well without having the need to throw up in the middle of the show.

The show itself was good. As per every other big budget animations, the hidden message for adults is always present and all too valuable. The title reminded me of someone who told me recently on keeping a tiger in a big cage. It is naturally instinctive for a tiger to pounce on the freshest piece of meat once it is being dangled in front of it. It is not vaguely possible to be able to train the tiger to go against it's instincts. Not that anyone can or should be blamed for it. The blame is on stupid people who walk into the cage. Trust me, this world doesn't lack stupid people and as much as I cannot stand them, I become part of them every now and then. Now that the tiger has gone abracadabra, the cage is irrelevant be it having the ultimatum of having hope and although with the hope, people always hope to be proven wrong. The very fact that they are waiting to be proven otherwise only goes to show the actual likelihood. I have always been hopeless in numbers or statistics but when they are almost non-existent, I should know very well.

Good night, world. Good night, Book of Eli.

Up, Up & Away

After 2 solid weeks of training, the conclusion is such. It was probably one of the best training I'll ever experience in my life. It was an all rounder that covered every possible aspect you can even think of although the actual mastering of it will take more than just time. Beside on occasions that I was merely trying to fight the Z monster away, I thought it actually taught me quite extensively on what I would need to know to do my job well. To think that I came with a few years of related experience behind me, there were still things I never knew I needed so much more training to refine it.

As much as the nature of the job hasn't changed, the industry and the type of roles are drastically different. It is comparatively volume driven and the expectations are higher. In terms of expectations, it is very much self-imposed because this is one opportunity that didn't come easy and I'm not about to take it for granted. Besides, fruits of harder labour are sweeter to the tongue.

The only desire right now is to have sufficient sleep apart from the fact that I'd love to be able to drive to work again. As we're speaking, Kokoro will need to spend some time back at Volkswagen General Hospital again. This time, he might be put into intensive care and I would reckon his heart would be taken out for the anticipated operation. Get well soon my "sour" baby...

Loving It All & Hating It All

Period.

Girls' Night Out

How would you describe a girls' night out? Compared to some guys' nightclub wild fun, this may seem like child's play. But trust me, the fun is not any lesser. With the right crowd, party happens everywhere.

It was my first week at work. Getting along well with colleagues sounds like an understatement. May I say that we hit it right off. And as such, I decided to join them for the last Chippendale performance in Singapore. It was really a last minute decision as one of our colleagues couldn't get back to town in time so there was an extra ticket. I didn't hesitate much... I needed to "open up my eyes" at some point in time.

More than 10 girls of all ages, shapes and sizes made their way to Chilli's at ResortsWorld right after work ended. Excessive food was just part of the routine considering that it's been a while since I felt hunger. Which also explains why I'm putting back on the pounds I lost a while ago. Dinner was a rush but not that anyone was complaining. The hot men helped with the digestion I bet.

From before the show started till the end of the show, we were screaming non stop. And at most times, we were screaming for the fun out of it and laughing at one another. The joke was on each other. Half the group stayed and paid for an entire cabana whereby the hotties would come by and chat with us. For the first time in my life, I felt like I'm enjoying the tip of THAT ice berg that those men have been enjoying every single night at the nightclubs. Only difference would be the cowards like us would never sleep with those guys.

Some of you might be lamenting on how much of a waste that would be, to us, the school girls' scream and a night of fun with the girls was enough to close the night with satisfaction. But of course, the hugs and kisses showered on the girls was enough to leave an impression and a lifetime of memories to reminisce on. One of those things that makes you go like, "I've done it before..."

Not A Crap Life Afterall

Since the start of the week, I've been so tied up at work. I've been given one of the best training I think I'll ever undergo and it's still ongoing. Nothing is being taken for granted and success is expected. To perform is not a choice. The team is a bonus and an important catalyst to make sure you get twice the results in half the time. Time is no longer mine and what is left of my very own is just pathetic. If you think I'm grumbling, then you're wrong. I've been waiting for so long, seeking for so hard to find a place like that for me to shine. I think I've found it and I'm going to give everything I can back in exchange for the shine that has eluded me for so long.

People come and go in your life. What is ultimately the most important is the love for self. Only when one learn to love themselves, then will others know how to love you. If others cannot understand that it is all for loving yourself, then they don't deserve your attention either. And not, I'm not talking about being narcissistic. Excessive is never good but the right does makes you a better person, friend and partner. Being understanding is the least one can do.

To follow me during this tedious period, get hooked up to my Twitter. That will keep you in line and be prepared to get tons of my crap on a regular basis.

I got this from TongMama's blog and it made alot of sense to me. Hope it brings a smile to your face.

Busy Bee

The Chinese New Year season has finally ended with February. As you may have noticed, I had only a handful of entries in February or maybe, you didn't even have the time to visit any blog during the festive season. Too much of gambling and getting together with friends. The challenge was to put the body through too many hours of staying awake and still despearately trying to look good.

The array of goodies has its effect of tempting you to chomp down on yet more snacks. The weighing scale has to go into hibernation as the jump in the needle might end me up in the A&E from some massive heart attack.

For now, I'm just going to prep myself to have a brand new shining star and have enough fun while I still can.

Walking Alone & Lovin' It

It was totally awesome just walking alone down the streets and watching the dried bougainvillea leaves drifting in the air. Since my legs couldn't take me any further, I sat myself down at McDonalds' and got myself some ice cold Coke to go with some fries. People watch I did. Countless thoughts came to mind and I filter them out slowly. Achieving peace wasn't easy. Repeating one song in my head that helped with the clearance significantly and planning my next steps in my life.

If one is unable to control what people speaks, then one has to control being able to see oneself in the mirror before you head to bed. Armed with the right pair of comfortable walking shoes, I will choose to walk on and prepare myself for the tougher roads ahead.

Alone time is good. There can actually be times that you really do not need anyone to influence your thoughts. I guess that can eventually make you a stronger person.

Raffles Place Fan

It's been a while since I've enjoyed such an easy weekend. Should I say I'm happy that the "good days" are going to be over soon? By all means, call me weird. Maybe I'm destined to lead a workaholic's life. I totally enjoy work but the pre-requisite should be at least some basic enjoyment of what I am or will be doing. I've always believed that if I enjoy what I do, there'll never be a day I have got to work. With reasonable amount of stress, non enjoyment throughout the total 365 days of the year can be pardoned. As long as I have at least 2 good weekdays in a week, I'll be contented. That shall be the new resolution for the coming year. That said, let me officially announce... I'm going back to the industry that I enjoyed albeit not in the specific niche area that I came from. I can no longer hold the excitement so drinking I went last night.

To get picked up by guys at a club can be flattering before they get on your nerves. At times, you just feel that maybe by hanging a placard that screams, "Leave me alone!" you'll have more peace while drowning in the loud music. Please do not get me wrong. I'm not saying I'm attractive and I get picked up but maybe the guys are getting too bored. Their courage deserves the applauses.

Another fortnight of idling, I will be back to CBD, having my subway lunch beside Singapore River while replying emails on my Blackberry. The one hour of solace that I used to enjoy while trying to escape the air-conditioned room and getting some sun is one thing I know I'll looking forward to. Another few days of Chinese New Year driven gambling, I need to seriously get my butt going and engine rolling. Or does "engine going and camera rolling" sound better? Whatever makes your day. I'm a happy girl now and I can't care less. No one shall take the smile away from my face for now. I genuinely believe I've gotten myself into a great team and better work awaits me. The ladder is now free for all to climb. Come come... Climb climb...

沒那麼簡單

Was talking to this person I truly treasure as a friend. Both of us are people who aren't very lucky in our love lives. We're very strong girls but emotionally, all shattered. She recommended this song. I cried upon hearing it. But like she said, once you're out of it, it's a nice song and it will no longer bring tears. I can't help but agree. She's is definitely a level above me and miles ahead. I just need to learn to 放空自己. An important lesson for me - 別人說的話 隨便聽一聽 自己作決定


沒那麼簡單 就能找到 聊得來的伴
尤其是在 看過了那麼多的背叛
總是不安 只好強悍
誰謀殺了我的浪漫

沒那麼簡單 就能去愛 別的全不看
變得實際 也許好也許壞各一半
不愛孤單 一久也習慣
不用擔心誰 也不用被誰管

感覺快樂就忙東忙西
感覺累了就放空自己
別人說的話 隨便聽一聽 自己作決定
不想擁有太多情緒
一杯紅酒配電影
在周末晚上 關上了手機 舒服窩在沙發裡

相愛沒有那麼容易 每個人有他的脾氣
過了愛作夢的年紀 轟轟烈烈不如平靜
幸福沒有那麼容易 才會特別讓人著迷
什麼都不懂的年紀
曾經最掏心 所以最開心 曾經
想念最傷心 但卻最動心 的記憶 

Big 3-0

Amidst the Chinese New Year frenzy, we celebrated B's big 3-0 at Relish and Firestation. Having the 5 private minutes with him was nothing short of comforting. The friend who is always there to listen to your ranting, the ever timely offloading sessions. Not forgetting Daftbitch's ever-ready concern that never fails to warm the heart.

I just hope that in this new coming year, things will get smoother and better for all of us. Good news seem to be popping up bit by bit and I think things will just get better without a doubt. For myself, I need to get the engine cranking up and start to create a bang again. Fingers crossed, great news should be around the corner. And no, I'm not getting hitched.

The past week has been full of ups and downs and I mean, extreme ups and extreme downs. Getting to know some people and upgrade the relationship from acquaintances to friends. With some others, the trust erodes. The pain seeps in more vividly than one can imagine. The white flag is being risen slowly. Doubt fills the mind.

Nevertheless, I just hope that in the new year, friends will see less of the edges of the mouth heading south. Happy Birthday B! We love you loads! Now you're making me worried of my pending 3-0. Horror!

Get Me Busy

It could be being jobless for too long, I am starting to feel really lethargic. I appreciate the fact that I can wake up late, spend hours on Facebook and have meals with people from all over the place. Time with friends and loved ones are extended and enjoyed at ease although everyone else still has to plough back at work the next day. Given that the holiday season that is near, many are very much in the holiday mood so activities are starting to really pile. Am I happier? I don't know. I can't say I'm a workaholic but I definitely miss working. I miss clocking up achievements making me feel that I'm a better person by doing something good or rather, contributing to some form of good to some people in general. The cooking has stopped as Mom has piled up the entire fridge with food enough to last 2000 Chinese New Years. The bank account is drying up faster and panic mode sets in. If you think the anticipated ang pows is going to help, I can reassure you, it will probably feed me enough for 3 hours, not forgetting the gambling that would erase all that "earnings".

For weeks, I've been actively looking around and by now, I am looking at choices. Unfortunately, many things are not that well-timed and not all options can be presented altogether. I'm looking at the one on top of my list. Oddly enough, the industry that this role is focused on, isn't leveraging on my forte. But what is enough to bring a smile to my face, they belong to the "mothership" industry that I once loved and I know I'll probably enjoy the processes all over again just like how I did slightly in excess of a year back.

The choice is tough weighing the options that are vastly different in terms of package, area of focus and the very team that decides how much you will enjoy your time there. Having been in the industry for a while before, I do realise that sometimes, money isn't all that matters. Your colleagues will probably form the majority of your smiles and tears. The money, if it can make up for the unhappiness, then it will be worth it. But if you have none of those, that's when you pack up and leave for greener pastures.

I have been told recently that the pressure with all these thoughts in my head, tend to put me on a very short wire. I haven't been the best tempered person and I have to admit that. I don't actually see myself being that much more impatient but it seems that there's actually one person who thinks I've sunken into a bad patch and quite obviously, it was felt by the petitioner. I hope with something keeping me busy and my bank account happy, I should be a better companion? So what will happen to quality time and the love? Who knows? No one can or should predict. One thing I'm sure, He knows what's best for me.

I think my intelligence and patience are being fried. Extreme sensitivity isn't just a problem I can "Sensodyne" it. Exhaustion, despite all the sleep, is present with the main purpose to reduce me back down to a pile of useless slime. Too much time, too little to achieve... Yet. Will want to turn that around faster than you can read your own name... Wish me luck! Will appreciate a prayer...

What Comes May...

Totally burnt from the airshow but it was a good experience. Being about to sit in the cockpit of various planes, it would probably be a once in a lifetime experience for me. I guess the lobster red is well worth the while but the pain when I tossed and turned to get to sleep was undoubtedly, painful.

Life is weird. How should one begin?

There are just some things that you experience once and over again, learnt how to deal with it and yet, it'd repeatedly happen to you no matter you like it or not. There are people and things you avoid to deal with. Somehow, problems will probably find its way to you. When you think life should be simple, it gets more complicated than ever.

It's the time of the year when you get the older folks asking you questions you would gladly avoid talking about. Because by talking about it, it brings up the issues you would want to avoid altogether. Some things just don't work both ways.

Dealing with speculation isn't healthy to the mind. Then again, it happens because of too much uncertainty and too little trust. Is dealing with things as they come enough to cope with the limited sanity? There are times when you want to just scream, "enough is enough". And yet, unhappiness finds their way to attack the weakest link and before you know it, you are reduced back to nothing. Your energy fails you. Your strength kills you. You're left with the prayer and that's one last thing you genuinely believe in.

I am praying for things I have never thought I'd pray for. I'll keep my hands open just to receive. Whatever comes may...

Epic Fail

When talking fails, communication fails.

When communication fails, trust fails.

When trust fails, love fails.

When love fails, the tear duct fails.





滿身傷痕累累 也來不及痛
那是指引我 走向你 的清楚感受
不管危不危險 都要放下一切 跟你走
只要 一起承擔
只要 你不放手

Where Are You?

Have you ever walked into a situation whereby the problems are all new and you've never experienced it before? Results will often be disastrous. You may be willing to solve the problems as they come, one at a time. Then troubles started rolling in faster than you can handle and more often, they take you by absolute surprise. You're left more lost than ever. With only the last bit of comfort you can seek, you walk on with all the courage and hoping that problems will be gone before you have to face it head on. The problems will then start eating you up bit by bit. Before you know it, you have vanished into thin air and dungeon is the place that you go to for comfort.

If only Grandma is here, she'll probably run her fingers through my hair and give me a pat on my head. That was all enough... If only...

Mambo Jambo

Last night was Mambo Jambo night since a long time. To see organised dancing kept us giggling the entire night. Alcohol kept me happy. The group reminded me of Pink Elephant and hell yeah do I wanna party there again. Before I went, I was wondering if we would be the oldest patrons but as it turned out, besides the young punks, there are quite a fair number of people around our age. Dancing ourselves silly before tucking ourselves into nice hot Bak Kut Teh at Balestier is probably the most interesting thing I've done in months.

I'm not in a mood for a lengthy entry so here you go...

Local Food Galore

Saw some pictures of friends pretending to be tourists at their very doorstep and I must say, it looked pretty darn interesting. Hell no, I did not decide to be a tourist. But by pure chance, I was up on the Singapore Flyer earlier this month. With friends visiting, a couple of us went down to East Coast Lagoon last night and decided to fatten up ourselves. Here's a list of the food excluding the beers:

- Char Kway Teow
- Hokkien Prawn Noodles
- A variety of satays
- Chilli Crab + Man Tou
- Gong gong (Some kind of shell fish)
- Sambal stingray
- Otah
- Gao Lak (Roasted chestnuts)

All these food among 6 people. I must have put on another kilo or 2 from last night.

After dinner came the fun part. I must admit that post dinner, my NYC Twin and myself decided that no decent coffee place would be open so we would love to head home. Eventually, we stayed and beer was "served" by the beach and conversations didn't end till the storm blew us away, literally. It was simple yet so much fun. All the laughter and teasing made up the night.

We didn't quite had the chance to bid each other goodbye but would that matter since we're heading to Zouk tonight. It is Wednesday and it's Mambo night. Mambo nights to many of us meant "last decade" so it's gonna be mainly people watching. Somehow, my sixth sense tells me it's gonna be an insane night.




This song by 庾澄慶 will always remind me of his ex-wife, 伊能静. I guess the most unexpected things do happen and it's not for any bystanders to say who's right or wrong. Was watching the entertainment news and saw the way he was protecting his son made me want to watch more of his videos on youtube and figure out what kind of man he actually is. His relationship with 伊能静 actually went back a long way and it's sad when breakups like that happen. But it happens...

Brunch @ Spruce

On a lazy weekend, all you want to do is to wake up to a lazy breakfast and slump back to laze the rest of the day away. Yesterday was slightly different but I must say, it's been a while since I had such a well-balanced and enjoyable Sunday. Apart from the fact that I didn't go to church, everything was almost perfect.

The day started with me jumping out of bed after hearing KWD's voice on the phone going, "you mean you're still in bed?" I was late for brunch on the weekend that followed my birthday so as much as I know it may not be a birthday celebration, I did expect a birthday song ritual to go off as some point in time. Lunch was organised by Atomic Pilot but unfortunately, he was unable to make it. Nonetheless, laughter filled the air in the private function room of Spruce.

Talks about wedding themes got everyone laughing and contributing to more stomach spasms. The HUGE slice of cake was shared amongst everyone, force fed by me with a single spoon. Looking back when Skeeter Mom tried to hold me back from an oxygen break, it brought a snigger to this quiet room that I'm in blogging on the event. I will probably never be able to forget that I told her, "Why later? Got cake huh?"

After lunch, KWD and myself braved through the heat and crowd of pre-Chinese New Year frenzy of Chinatown to look for this accupressure place I went to years back. Surprisingly, they were still there! So off we went to attempt to relieve the pain from my ankle injury and his stiff neck by putting ourselves through even worse pains.

A movie was all that was needed to end the beautiful Sunday. We couldn't get tickets to "It's Complicated" hence we picked any movie that was available. It was never a choice to watch "The Spy Next Door" but just because it's a Jackie Chan's film. As usual, it didn't disappoint us but I must say, some of the actions and tricks are getting kinda stale. It's almost like, I've seen it before! But the bloopers at the end of the movie was hilarious. If you ever go catch this film in the theaters, stay till the very end.

Sorry Sorry

Watching my words with tact has never been a forte. But for once, I knew my words stabbed right into where I knew it'd hurt most. Sadly, it's on someone I care the most for. The words didn't hold what it really meant but was said in a fit of anger. The damage was something I didn't expect. I do admit that I've taken the "everything nice" for granted. Sorry didn't sound like the hardest word for once. I had to volunteer the apology knowing that the fault was rightfully mine.



Even amongst all the tension, the gift of love was delivered to me. It wasn't the tangible material part but the love behind the surprise that was presented given all the pain I have put the giver through. My indifference did not reflect how grateful I really am. The subsequent silence stabbed me back in spiteful revenge. It was the kind of pain that I have to go through but nothing like what I caused.  The least I could do was to give you the space you need until I'm needed once again.

A lifetime is a lifetime. Only you'd understand...

Mad For Garlic

Wanted to share a latest yet understated discovery. For all the foodies (like myself) out there, you have got to try this place.

My first encounter with Mad For Garlic was when I was in Seoul sometime last year. The food impressed me hence my excitement when I found out that they are in SG. Take a walk down Suntec and right opposite Harry's (beside Top Shop), you will find this restaurant tucked in the corner and IMO, not doing it much justice. The vaguely gothic design reflects a simplified version of what they are in Seoul and I actually prefer the SG one.That said, here comes the most important part. The food...

How can you go to a restaurant with a name like "Mad For Garlic" and not have garlic bread? Now, here's their version of Garlic Bread. It's in a tower and after flattening it up, it cuts in 4 x 1.5" size. Feeds 2-4 comfortably. Absolutely yummy and it doesn't have the yucky pungent smell of garlic. At least I didn't burp garlic at the end of the meal... The bread was fresh and HOT OUT OF THE OVEN. Absolutely love it! My only gripe was that I should have asked for some olive oil to dip it in which I didn't because I wanted to have it original. Will try that on my next visit though.

Now comes the main. Unfortunately, I was too quick in gobbling down my favourite Garlic Snowing Pizza which has a generous yet just about right amount of cheese on it. It's the new Hawaiian! Then again, if you're allergic to shrimps, then please try this other pizza with 4 cheeses. Forgot the name but tasted as heavenly. The pizza selection is by far my favourite over the others including their very own menu of risottos and other dishes. I'm biased cuz their pizzas made me wanna go back for more ALL THE TIME. I guess that's what they call CRAVING!!!

And me, being a fan of good steak, I'm usually very particular. I get disappointed easily with horribly or overly cooked beef. I love mine medium rare and that was it. Even then, I plucked up enough courage to order the following dish which I totally forgot the name. (Yes, good food does that to you...) I was so prepared to get disappointes, as they say about having high expectations... And guess what, I wasn't. In fact, I was pleasantly surprised with how the beef turned out. It was succulent and soft. The rice was a little too spicy for my liking cuz haha, I can't take spicy food at all. But I guess I could have requested for them to have it less spicy. But those of you who like spicy food, they have got a great selection of really hot stuffs.

If you have got a private event to host for a small group, they even have a private room. Managed to sneak a picture for you guys...

Now here comes the most important part for some of you... The pricing. I guess for many of us, if the food is good, the price wouldn't be too much to consider but this is definitely not gonna burn a hole in your pocket. On average, I would say it ranges from $20 to $40 per pax. At about $30 per pax, it's quite a comfortable meal.

Service wise, the staffs are very young and inexperienced. They do make blunders that makes you roll your eyes. But somehow, they're rather sincere so I kinda forgave them for it. And them being a new restaurant, it'll take a bit of time for the staffs to be fully trained up. Meanwhile, good food is enough to keep me going back for more.

Makansutra Horror

Was channel surfing and came across "Makansutra Raw" on Discovery Travel & Living. Needless to say, it is one of my favourite channels. Upon hearing a familiar accent, I stopped for a good 5 minutes because the host was introducing irresistible Royce chocolates.

And you may have guessed it, the host was not other than Seetoh. I have no issues with the accent but this chap, being the foodie that he's supposed to be, showed no respect for food. He gobbled down any and every dish that was in front of him. To be fair, it might be required of him to display some form of desperation for good food. But please, given that you're a travel/food channel host, can you please eat with your mouth closed? The crude and unsightly chewing definitely put me off from anything that he introduced. They certainly do not look more appealing (or even vaguely appealing) after his introduction and on the contrary, he could have easily killed your lunch or dinner if you have tried to watch him during your meal times.

If Makansutra is of any relation to good food, this guy must be the one hit failed actor from a very bad porn movie who no one will want to remember. There is no reason how he could host the show apart from being the person who founded Makansutra. I am utterly disgusted.

Have I ever mentioned his cameo appearance in Anthony Bourdain's trip to Singapore? If not, let me put this in record that the places that he brought Tony did not properly introduce what Singaporean food actually is. Very ironically, Seetoh brought him to some of the places that locals will never go. This is not a good reflection of how Singapore is like to the g'zillion other foreign viewers that get to watch the show in the comfort of their couch wondering what a horrible food Singaporeans can dish out.

By any chance if he gets to read this post, my advice to him is to get a decent wardrobe if you decide to appear in front of a TV show (especially as a host!), potentially to the rest of the world, please wear something decent or at least, TV worthy. The money that they pay you, include having you looking good but of course I understand that it's not easy for you. Please don't let me hate my favourite channel.

Bleah...

Yes, I'm that close to 30. But not quite...

Now! That's a party!



Finally, it's the end of yet another decade and another last 365 days before I hit the BIG 3. At some point before I hit the sack last night, I slump into some kind of very superbly mild depression. More of a moment of "mid-life crisis menopausal mood change". I felt old and thought, if only life could be simpler. If not for all the complication, would my life be more peaceful and settled? Everything seems to be hanging around in the air. It doesn't stink, or rather, the air smells good but it's still the air.

Doesn't matter because I'm a happy girl today. I refused to be called a woman until I'm 30 and I have got another year to go. I'm a big big girl, in a big big world...

Weirdly enough, I'm dying to get dead drunk some time this week.

My Potato & Egg Salad

Years back, whenever there's a party over at KTM Yacht's place, there would be copious amount of food, drinks (both alcoholic and non-alcoholic) and cigars. Now that everyone is apart and I've lost total contact with almost everyone in that group, apart from all the fun and laughter that still lingers at the back of my head, KTM Yacht's Mom's wicked potato salad lived on in my memories. So days ago, I decided to make some for myself. Afterall, it can be refrigerated and be eaten for the next few days. And since I'm home most of the time, having something delicious to munch on is always a good idea. Then again, the fact that it's extremely unhealthy makes it a love and hate relationship.

While I start with the intention to make potato salad, I ended up with Potato & Egg Salad since I added a little too many eggs into the equation. Frankly, I never work with recipes and I wasn't working on any. But when I added everything together, I knew I'm going to have an egg-ified potato salad. Fresh bacon bits could have made it yummier but it was a trial. Thankfully, it turned out alright. It's just potatoes, eggs, onions and bacon. How bad can it get? Well, the onions are alot more pungent than I'd like it to be and now my fridge smells like durians galore. No one's complaining so I guess that's a good sign.

Creating Dreams

Cakes have always been the age old celebratory tool we have all enjoyed and experienced too many times in our lifetime. Be it birthdays or weddings, it is a must. From old pictures, I had my first birthday cake shaped after the number "1". Subsequently, birthday cakes for me became smaller or in recent years, non-existent. The design of cakes, however, did not stop at traditional designs which we now consider it to be cheesy.

While surfing local confectionary sites, I salivated not at my favourite passion fruit meringue which my loveliest Meiren Cousin got me for my birthday a couple of years back, I was going through pictures of their amazing combinations of croquembouche and cupcakes. Although I've always wondered why have they not ventured into croquembouche of macarons, the gallery was enough to keep me busy for a while.

As my excitement level grew, I decided to feast my eyes with more beautiful pictures of confectionary, cakes in particular. Our very own talent, Cheryl Shuen, has never failed to amaze me time and again. If Vera Wang is to wedding gowns, Cheryl Shuen is to wedding confectionary in Singapore. I have to say that her popularity has a part to play in limiting her creativity but I'm always excited to see her new masterpieces on her blog. Essentially, she's selling a dream. A very beautiful dream that most brides & grooms would want her touch on their cake if given no limiting budget.

To not sound like a frog in my own well, I have seen even crazier, prettier designs and some are out of this world. They make you gasp for air and will catch you lost for your own words. But given the stifling environment in Singapore and the high cost of setting up a business, it's amazing that she was not discouraged then and went on to make a name for herself in the industry. For that, I have to applaud her courage and genuine ability. This girl is selling not just cakes but dreams and hopes. Even being able to see her finished work on her blog forces me to have nothing but respect and of course, much smiles every now and then when I return for a visit. Looking at her cakes make me happy.

Return of the Twitter

There's a slight revamp to this blog. Irrelevant information has been removed. Twitter is back... So are my rantings!

In the new year, I'll try to upload more pictures after I finally figure out how to extract the pictures from my iPhoto! I'm a new Mac convert and still am an IT idiot. It takes a while... Not too long I hope. Bear with me for the time being.

If you're reading this off Facebook, do check out my blog when the writings become incoherent cuz it might be over a picture or a video that I grumble about. During other times, I'm just being myself by being incoherent. The auto upload doesn't allow me to sift and select which are the posts to have it on Facebook and which else not to, and if you happen to know how to, please let me know.

First Discovery For 2010

Call me a hermit but I have never liked to get myself in amidst of Orchard Road on a weekend. The crowd never fails to make me think I'm having an anaphylactic shock. The heat along the street melts me as I stroll down looking for the next ice cream seller and with KWD looking for his regular fix of Starbucks. The past couple of weekends of mine were all in town for one reason or another. Admittedly, one of the few reasons were either Kate Spade inside Takashimaya or Miu Miu over at Paragon or Ion.

Yesterday, we decided to check out new territories. So off we trotted to the brand new mall, 313. The moment we stepped in, yet another Epicentre greeted us. That kept us busy for the next 15 mins or so even though we came from Wheelock and Ion. For a moment, we wanted to skip basement altogether thinking it'd probably only lead to the subway. I couldn't have been more wrong and I'm thankful I felt a little more adventurous that day.

The moment I got off the escalator, a familiar name blinded my eyes. It read, "Lemongrass House". As I walked it, I knew it was the same place I visited in Phuket years ago. Then, I had to drive a couple of hours from where I stayed at Karon Beach in search for this Lemongrass House. The rest was history and a basketload of "victory". The owners were a couple, what is commonly known as a farang in Thai, it was a Caucasian man who married a Thai wife. There in Phuket, they started their aromathepeutic spa products. My favourite were in the flavours of lavender and lemongrass. Subsequently, I had to sift through the thousands of stalls in Chatuchak (Bangkok) for their branch but to no avail. And many years later, I finally found it on our little island.

Although the prices are steeper as compared to when I got it in Phuket, inflation and rental did play a big part. Even then, I was happy to finally be able to get my hands on them. The only piece missing right now is to make another trip back to the same ol' Phuket store and check it out again and to see if they have modernised with the rest of the world like the shops in Singapore.

Happy 2010

In 2007, same time of the year, I forced myself to dress up for a party when I was in Manhattan. I was down with viral fever and the aches were killing me. It felt miserable in winter and being all alone in the apartment surely didn't help. I needed to get out! I did and the night wasn't as fun as I anticipated it to be but my aches were gone. Partying helps I suppose.

This is 2009. I'm down with viral fever again! The aches are killing me. I couldn't sleep in peace last night. Dreams plagued the night. Stinky perspiration soaked the bedsheets. Goosebumps can be spotted everywhere on my body. My back hurts. My arse hurts. My skin hurts. My bones hurt. This feels too miserable. I'm beginning to think, viral fever loves welcoming the new year.

I hope that's the last of the suffering that's going to happen in 2009 and 2010 will just be a fantastic year. All the aches and pain will be left here in 2009 and we're not bringing any along. 2010 will be absolutely wonderful.

Go attend a party or something and get your arse out of the house!

Limping With Fear

When you feel life has finally taken a right turn, your worst suspicions come falling down on you. You become the worst of your nightmares. You slump into the further abyss of no return. Fear becomes the most cruel of all murderers. Doubts about the rest of the world falls on you all at once. Tears become the first thing to hide and being strong is inevitable. Self protection mechanism kicks in almost immediately.

Powerless is the only emotion. Prayers are like crutches enabling you to walk. How far is this journey going to be?

Merry Christmas!

This has got to be one of the best Christmas by far given the turbulent year that precedes it. Started from the Christmas service last Sunday at the Singapore Indoor Stadium. The message wasn't as powerful as what it was like last year but I firmly believe that 2010 is going to be an excellent year.

A birthday surprise began the night and spending some time just sitting around with friends was already more than what I could ask for. A "budgeted" dinner turned out to be hilarious as usual. The usual quips sent laughter filling up the room. Coupled with great food, the evening just got better. For us, the night couldn't possibly end without some singing and alcohol. The presence of KWD just completed the best picture.

My night didn't end there because I'm a very talkative drunk. The evil concoction of insufficient sleep and alcohol didn't stop the inaudible mumbling. Don't ask me what I said because I don't remember but I genuinely believe I would only tell the truth when I have too much to drink. It's the only time when you let go of all your inhibitions and nothing holds you back from what you never dared to bring it beyond your lips. Fortunately, only KWD got to hear all the rubbish that would have sounded nonsensical to any bystander.

All in all, it was a great night out and I'm already looking forward to Christmas dinner tonight.

Cooking & Chomping

May I just say the worst part of cooking is the cleaning up? Putting some system into place did made things easier. I've been unofficially appointed as the chef for the household... Well, not everyday that is. That's what chefs do right? All they do is to instruct the cooks and watch on. Jokes aside, I've always been someone who enjoys cooking on a whole. Being able to put a smile on the face of your loved ones when they chomp down on your cooking speaks volume. Admittedly, they are not of restaurant standard but the effort that is put into the preparation process, down to the size of the carrot and potato bits requires more than just attention. Geared with the thought of wanting the best for the end diner, no amount of hard work is too much. It is more than sheer fortune to be able to prepare just a simple dinner. On a normal workday, by the time the work day ends, all we can think of is some warm food in the tummy.

Take a day off and cook a simple dinner for your family or that special person. I just had a rewarding experience so I'm urging you to do something for yourself by getting you to do something for the people around you. All you need in return is a smile at the end of the dinner and it's all worth the while.

The Wedding Planner

Staying at home and leading the tai tai life isn't as fun as I thought it'd be. Fair enough, I got rid of the dark circles and eventually paid up all the sleep debt. It was just pure boredom after the eyes reopen, more often than not, to the mid afternoon sun. Overly subscribed to Facebook, the meaning to life is running on reserves. The weekly basketball game is barely keeping the spirit alive. You know you have arrived at the peak of boredom when you go into planning for a wedding that hasn't got a date. Which got me thinking... How would my wedding be like?

To satisfy the folks, the dinner cannot be shelved. The money needs to be spent! Have I not mention that there's a vulgar amount of money involved in weddings? I wouldn't dare start looking at the numbers. So the dinner will be the way to end the day and what will start it then? The usual traditional stuffs with the gatecrashing and tea ceremony. To avoid a logistical nightmare, minimal traveling is required and one location is hence, preferred. The solemnisation must be squeezed in no matter what. So a small affair by the pool is in the plans and only immediate family will be involved. Friends will still be invited for the dinner. As though the day doesn't sound packed enough, there will be a full 9 or 10 course dinner minus off the sharks' fins.

Now, there's so much talks and plans, there's no date but that shouldn't stop you from saving up if you think you're gonna get invited eventually.

See! I'm truly overcome by boredom.