假装

Had a good chat with BR just now. Given all the unhappiness we have had in this friendship, i can't deny she's always been there when i needed a shoulder. I admit i'm a super lousy drinker but she puts up with my nonsense from time to time. When Princess needs to make a lifelong career decision, she was there to reaffirm what i thought but hesitated. She made doubts into decisions. I should know and should remember, my career is of utmost importance now. When a woman is financially independent, things will fall into place. Right now, i want to be the independent woman i've always wanted to be.

The more i sink into the "i think i miss him" shit, the less i'm becoming the person i actually was and the person i've always aspired to be. Most people around now knows i'm hungry to be right on top of the vicious food chain and i want to make a difference to people around me. I want to be able to be the "contact" or "network" that gives off the "wow" factor.

I will still think of Dum Dum. I'm not someone who likes something and withdraw almost immediately. I need a closure even if it is not a possible route. I will make the closure happen. Maybe i'm not the one...

I have to admit it wouldn't be easy for me to step out of this circle and step into another one for a long time to come but i suppose it's good that i can put time into my career. Guess this is the only consolation i can give myself at this point in time.

This is one song that truly describes me, right now... I'm going back to bed to snuggle with myself and drown myself with repetitions of this song, constantly reminding myself of the pain i'm in and that i should get out of in a heartbeat.

呼吸着一种孤独的味道
心跳在你沉默以后慢慢的被淡忘掉
我笑了笑反正你看不到
我要的幸福遗落在你怀抱

当爱失了焦
那些最初的美好
早被你搁在一角
街上拥挤人潮走着看着都是摧眠符号
记忆停不了
穿过读你的心跳
穿过想你的味道
我只想不被打扰

假装多好
我只要只想要再拥有一秒
去相信你的拥抱
一直会让我依靠
继续等待
还心甘情愿的不想逃

当爱失了焦
那些最初的美好
早被你搁在一角
街上拥挤人潮走着看着都是摧眠符号
记忆停不了
穿过读你的心跳
穿过想你的味道
我只想不被打扰

假装多好
我只要只想要再拥有一秒
去相信你的拥抱
一直会让我依靠
继续等待心甘情愿不想逃

假装多好
依然是依然是暧昧的tone调
一个人无理取闹
两人世界的煎熬
我被自己困在自己设下的圈套

像是驼鸟相信时间是唯一解药
视而不见傻到了无可救药
其实早明了你的爱已随风飘
想要找再也找不到

假装多好
我只要只想要再拥有一秒
去相信你的拥抱
还心甘情愿的不想逃

假装多好
依然是依然是暧昧的tone调
一个人无理取闹
两人世界的煎熬
我被自己困在自己设下的圈套

假装自己已解开冰冷的手铐