Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Job Seeking Trauma And Fun

In an attempt to hunt for a reasonably good job that keeps me car moving and my interest flowing, I found myself clicking on the "Careers" button on Facebook. Due to my extreme lack of technical skills, I could offer nothing but possibly Human Resource skills. They do not have a job listed but instead, there was a link that guided me to an array of problems with their difficulty levels pegged. There were even a list of people who got hired because they solved the problems. So if you need a job, start solving some problems.

By the way, is anyone in pharmaceutical sales?

Monday, March 30, 2009

Imposter Syndrome

Found something interesting today. Have you ever heard of this syndrome called "The Imposter Syndrome"? According to Wikipedia, this syndrome is more common among women and in a gist, sufferers are unable to reconcile their successes/achievements/accomplishments and more often, they will dismiss it as luck. Not wanting to sound like a Münchausen victim but there are some instances in like where I felt that I don't deserve what I'm having. Although I always thought I've always been the most unlucky person around, I also recognise that I must be storing some good luck if I am where I am today. BUT I'm not having Imposter syndrome because I too acknowledge that I did put in the hard work that brought about some of the good things in life.

If you read my blog regularly, just take this post as one of my mindless rantings. I've been moping around with stupid thoughts that maybe I don't deserve what I have and what I have really isn't what I have. This sounds crazy, even to me. I wanted to say "ignore me" but by blogging this, I'm not exactly asking to be ignored, am I? Just one of the days...

I want to be the star that I believe I am. I want to be the star I know I can be. Where can I start finding the light source to keep the star shining?

Thursday, March 26, 2009

What Women Want

Life's full of jigsaw puzzle pieces with jagged and rough edges and because there are not fixed rules and manner on how we should finish the jigsaw, we try in our every might to complete the picture. Inevitably, little spaces between the edges need to be filled up. Just like in every relationship, at most times it's not about the big things that you do but also the little things which it's not unsafe for us to term them simple pleasures in life (provided that they are things that brings smiles to our faces). So what do women really want in a relationship excluding the big pieces, just focusing on the little pieces that fills up the gaps?

- A hug from nowhere. Even if all you wanted to do is to sleep or get on with other things in life, taking that extra 10 seconds to hug the love of your life will mean more than the world to her.

- Call her even when you have nothing to tell her in particular. Need not be sweet nothings but just a call to ask how she's doing will definitely bring a smile to her face. And no matter how busy a woman is, she will always make time for the man she loves. If she's genuinely busy, she will call you back. Trust me!

- Spend a day of doing nothing. It's not about the swanky parties or expensive dinners, it's all about the quality time. The together time. The "Snug" time.

- Appreciate the little things she does. If you know she's more forgiving of you than she really should be, acknowledge that.

- Let her know she's not being taken for granted.

- Ex-girlfriends for friends is cool. Ex-girlfriends for confidante is NOT COOL at all.

- Reinstating point 1, hug her from behind. The closeness is usually unsurpassable.

- Compliment on how she looks. You do not need to lie. If the radioactive green is ugly, tell her maybe ruby red is better BUT she's got either nice shoes or hair though. I'm sure there's something you can compliment on. She doesn't need to know she's the prettiest girl in the universe but she needs to know she's beautiful in YOUR eyes.

- Run your hands through her hair. Smell her.

- She wants you to know she's the best thing that ever happened to you and you need to recognise that.

- Tell her what you're thinking even though you aren't even sure what you're thinking.

Lastly, if you love her, tell her... But only if you really mean it.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Earth Hour

Since young, I've been encouraged to be more environmentally friendly and even went home from school one day, forcing my parents to buy a CFC-free fridge. In every little way I can, I try in my mini might to do what I can. Being absolutely truthful, I'm not an angel and I'm not one who would go all out to do something big to make THE sort of difference. Though genuinely touched by marketing one-liners like, "The earth belongs to all of us..." etc, I've never been able to proactively campaign for any "Save The Earth" movement.

Here comes the chance for all of us to do something. I can't guarantee that I'll do that but I'll try. I'm sure many of you would have heard of Earth Hour organised by World Wildlife Fund. Whereever you are, just turn off your lights. Details as follows:

Date: 28th March 2009 Saturday
Time: 8.30 to 9.30pm Local time



You will not be the only idiot dining in the dark for 1 hour. World class landmarks will also join in this protest to vote for earth. In 2008, buildings like Empire State Building in New York City, Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco, Sydney Opera House, London City Hall and the Colosseum in Rome, amng many others turned off all their non-essential lighting during the last Saturday of March 2008 between 8.30-9.30pm. this is not too difficult and let's hope we can do out bit for the land we live on. It's like paying rental but only this, happens just once a year.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Life in Snugathology

Was trying to sound smart and at the same time, was deciphering life. While trying to recall how the song Beautiful Boy by John Jennon goes, I stumbled on the lyrics and in which, this is quotable "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." As I thought it might be useful to some people around me, I came up with my very own quote about life and what I think of it.

"Life is what life brings us when life is what we bring to life."

A little along the line of "Do unto others what you want others to do unto you..."

What is life to you?

To me, only when you give, you receive. When you're ready to receive, just keep your arms open and things will fall into place. Or so I believe...

Ignorance Is Bliss?

In response to glamourous tai tais with their cheating husbands, I maintained that probably what you don't know will not hurt you. After seeing and hearing more than enough episodes to compile to have my own local version of 真情 (The longest running Hong Kong TVB serial), I can't say the same anymore. Coupled with the unimaginable, inexplicable ability that most women and some men have - The sixth sense. Many times, it's more than merely twitching eyelid, be it left or right, the physical reaction extends to heart palpitation, intense perspiration and short breaths.

Whatever happened to "knowing your enemies (知己知彼)"? With the advantage of information, one could fight a battle fully aware of the potential danger and Achilles' Heel of your enemy, hence, the chances of winning a battle rises exponentially. In a situation where the enemy doesn't attack, would ignorance been a better strategy than true schemes? The fear of knowing some things might happen might be worse than the actual battle itself. Take my only ever bungee jump in my lifetime, I was elevated via a creaky crane. Looking down through the seemingly weak platform with holes to allow one to see their way right down, created the best fear factor for me. I was nudged off the edge of the platform because I didn't had the courage to take the leap. All I could remember of the jump after that was the continuous scream on my way down and semi-permanent wrinkles that lasted for a few hours all because my facial features were squashed up by my scream during the jump. The anticipation of the jump was insane. I couldn't imagine what went through the heads of suicide victims when they were standing on the corner of the ledge.

If you're someone who believes in ignorance being the ultimate bliss like what I used to believe, what if one fine day, you stumbled upon packs of lies built on your foundation of your years of bliss, would the pain be any lesser than the little pains put together over the years which you could at some point in time be in control of your life and choose the life you want to lead? But of course, these are things we can't quantify, neither would I attempt you. No one has the absolute answer for such things. Some people even live in denial to prevent feeling the pain. But who is to say this person never shed a tear before bedtime. Is ignorance bliss for you?

Monday, March 23, 2009

Snake & Ladder

How would we usually describe our partners whom we marry or plan to marry? - A friend? A companion? A lover? A parent to the kids? Family? Best friend?

At times when you're thankful for having someone who speaks your language, who understands the alien-glish that you speak, then you start to wonder if this is someone you can share your deeper thoughts and darker secrets. To be fair, everyone has their untouchable piece that only belongs to only themselves. That is one piece that we should not attempt to pry open nor seek entry permission. When a door is ready, the door will open so prying doesn't help. In my opinion, prying will only scar the door frame.

But I suppose what seems like a door readily available to you is actually by invitation only. What that could potentially be a practical joke is that the person retaining and holding onto the key is someone you'd love to hate. And you start to wonder, which part of the "snake and ladder" game you're actually at. When you feel that you keep sliding back to square one but yet on good dice throws, you get so much nearer to safe ground, this is a game you love but hate to love.

My turn to throw the dice again...

Friday, March 20, 2009

Trauma? Nah... F*** it.

It's been a week of trauma and I hope it's coming to an end.

Part of the nightmare was tax-related and my life was greatly inconvenienced. This episode should come to a close real soon and my fingers are all crossed. Maybe it's a blessing in disguise, procrastination has turned into real action and I can finally close this chapter and move forward. And on top of this, I might also have unknowingly solved some problems I'll be anticipating in the next few months.

Although I'm usually very expressive in my own way regarding emotions and things happening around me, most people wouldn't have a clue what exactly I'm talking about on my blog but in life, I'm just very real and straightforward. Many times, I stepped on others' tails because I thought, "well, since I've got nothing to hide." Truth is, we can trust no one with our own thoughts. As much as I'm trying to stay away from "toxic" zone, I'm still troubled but who we can call our friends.

You also start to pity people who accuse others and still can't make up their mind. Let's just say Big Black Wolf wrapped up in his latest fleece coat came to Little Rabbit one day and started accusing Little Bunny and said, "Why dun you find out yourself from your own boyfriend first before accusing..." and when Little Rabbit did by calling Penguin in her sleepy stupor because it was 2.45am, our Big Black Wolf started blaming Little Rabbit for running to her boyfriend for everything. True friends are those who bothers to find out the whole truth before judging but unfortunately, from one episode, too much too little of human nature were revealed. As trusting as one may be, the door shuts.

As I always tell Xiao Hong with regards to people's reaction to very loud and straightforward people, if they can't appreciate, we can't change their point of view. If they choose to believe what is painted as a beautiful picture, you can only wish them luck.

I used to hate to be wronged. I still do. But from such situations especially as you grow older, you see people's true colours.

Friday, March 13, 2009

It's A Chicken. No! Dinosaur! No... Peacock?



Taken from one of the trips to the Bird Park. Loads of fun and laughter. This picture still makes me smile...

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Cankles and Cankles

The extensive talk about cankles with The Playground cracked me up on a low Thursday. As usual, our resident A&E Quack with his odd sense of humour opened a can of gossipy worms. We know of some people's fetishes with certain body parts but cankles is a totally different ball game altogether. Before I get whipped back to hell, I shouldn't go on making fun of people because I still want my ankles. I can't imagine the day that I put on so much weight till I have trouble locating them... I dread!

Anyway, on the topic of body parts, I wonder if there is a part that particularly attracts a person more than any other body parts. Some people are attracted to eyes, neck, chest hair and to most boys, the choices are limited to 3 - legs, ass or boobs. The "I like the whole package" doesn't quite work with me and it's not convincing at all. So, share with me what do you see in a girl/guy? It is true of course that we will still look at the whole package of the person before we reach a conclusion but fact is we are trained to focus on certains parts that are either exceptionally pleasing or enough training or experience, there might just be one particular part that draws you more than the rest.

I remember vividly that on Moody Penguin's first trip to Sepang and during those times, we were still platonic friends. Over the walkie (in an attempt to stay awake), Shameless Trackie and myself were trying to get an answer from him so we drilled, "Legs, Ass or Boobs?" He couldn't give me an answer which I was exasperated so I kept pressing on. At some point in time, when he was so sick and tired of my in-built broken recorder-styled interrogation, he did blurt "legs..." Pretty obviously, I'm not a leggy person and he wouldn't have wanted that quality from me because I haven't got it but I'm sure legs still turn his eyes and still catches your attention. So I reckon these are probably not qualities you look for in your partner but what makes you look twice. But of course, if only I have long slender smooth legs...

But if you were to turn the tables and ask me that question, I genuinely have no clear answer but I always love nice and sincere eyes. They can be big or small, double-lid or slant, brown or black. The eyes is a part that can't lie. As good as a liar someone may be, he will inevitably let out some clues if he/she were to look into your eyes. I believe it is a direct window to the conscience but whether we don the capability to decipher it, is a totally different story altogether.

Legs, ass or boobs? Cankles?

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

New Creation's New Creation

New Creation Church raised $19 million in less than 24 hours.

Firstly, I can't wait to see the building up soon. Then we won't have to attend services in the 3rd overflow room anymore. Rejoice!

My main purpose for this entry is not actually to talk about how much the church managed to raise to fund the new premise which I do not deny in itself, it is a huge blessing.

What scared me was a comment in the article - Graduate student Huang Wei Hsuan, 26, who is not a member of the church, felt that part of the funds could be used to "help those who are really in need, instead of being fully used to construct a new building".

As a 26 year old graduate student, she can actually be oblivious to what actually causes the economy to move and pick up again. If funds are always going to the needy, economy will never pick up and more people will join the ranks of the needy. I'm not saying we shouldn't help them but projects of such, should be carried out because such injections creates employment. The very basic of economics. Do you know how many jobs such a project will create and how money will grow money? In fact if Singapore can have 20 of projects of this scale, I can almost guarantee you, recession will be over sooner than you think.

Please remember only in good times, people are more willing to give. And during bad times, it's not because we're unwillingly but because we have lost the ability to. We should be focused on regaining the ability to give than to fault people for not giving.

For myself, I had to reduce my contributions to my sponsored child and I know that it isn't fair to him at all. But when it comes to my own survival, I did what I could. I have continued to sponsor him albeit with a smaller amount as compared to the usual monthly contribution I did previously. But I too hope the economy can pick up and I can continue to give what I used to or even more.

Much of our younger generations should open their eyes and not be so narrow minded. Please do not get me wrong that I'm trying to defend my own church. Everyone has a right to judge for what they see. To me, I just gave with a willing heart. But you have to have the right knowledge to be objective. I think great leaders have their reasons to ask the people to go out and spend...

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

You & Me Baby We're Nothing But Mammals

The song got stuck in my head since Moody Penguin brought this Bloodhound Gang song back from many years back. Somehow, you never quite forget how to sing it and before I knew it, I was singing to it with him. This is besides the point.

How many times have you found your innate animal instinct take over you? I tend to think that it's more than we can imagine. People get into fights everyday which could be in one way or another intruding into one another's territory although more often with human beings, territory can be defined in the most modern way and not just the physical space intrusion.

If you're a guy, you might be trembling with the thought that female praying mantis' eats/chews/bites her partner before, during and after the conception leaving the male mantis trying his best to stay alive. However, in most cases, the male specie will often be the more active hunter. Funny enough, when you dangle food right in front of them, they might just be totally uninterested. But ironically, the female specie are often caught serving the food even when not asked for. Does that in anyway makes the female specie less attractive and in modern human terms, be taken for granted?

Monday, March 09, 2009

Get To Know Yourself Better

Self discovery quizzes never fails to intrigue me and I've never gotten so stumped by any analysis more than the more below.

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education:

You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

Success in your career is not the most important thing in life. You are content with what you have and think that being with someone you love is more than spending all of your precious time just working.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.


Do yours now.

Concert Goers vs Concert Etiquette?

Daftbitch flew back last Wednesday and got really distressed with the flight changes because she had to be back for Jason Mraz' concert in Singapore on Thursday. This is one concert I'd really love to attend but I didn't. For someone with all his albums in the car's CD changer, I really appreciated his music but not quite a die-hard fan. Having watched his clips on YouTube, this man is an absolutely awesome live performer.

Over the weekend, I managed to catch some short clips people posted taken of the concert. Before I go on, you might think I'm saying this because of sour grapes but it's not. I just wanted to share my views on my observations. Most of the clips I saw had enthusiastic concert goers singing along with Jason Mraz who was doing his live gig. It seems almost like karaoke and I felt that concert goers weren't appreciating the live act. The difference between paying to watch him live because it's live and you're not gonna hear the same thing on the CDs. Then again, I must admit had I attended the concert on Thursday, I'd sing along too if the mood was right and true enough, I wasn't there to gauge. But that wasn't my point. Is it something about Singaporeans that we need to participate and sing along and can't just appreciate a concert for what it is. As concert goers, should be observe some kind of etiquette or decorum? I'm not an angel and definitely not a Stomper. But it also acts as a review on myself when I catch myself singing along when someone else is trying to appreciate his/her music. I'm definitely guilty of disrupting someone else's music or appreciation of other form of arts but what I'm trying to bring forward is the extra bit of consciousness in sparing a thought for others during public shows like these.

If you need to flame and blast at me, go ahead. I will approve every comment with no reservations.

Thursday, March 05, 2009

Have You Ever Told Your Woman...

It is often viewed that women are more emotionally expressive than men. I was listening to Bryan Adam's "Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman" this morning and started to think of the songs sung/written by both sexes. It surprised me that it was easier to find men churning out really emotional songs as compared to the women. It might just be the skill of song writing or that women express their emotions in a different way. Admittedly, I'm an extremely emotional person but expressing it, is a totally different ballgame altogether. There are no standard rules to this game. At times, I never let them run out of my protection, other times, I just let it all go only to have them come back and bite me real hard.

I don't know if I can ever have someone love me so much or to express their love in such magnitude and flow. That said, I'm a happy girl because I know what I already have and I'm not asking for more. Like a young shoot, given the seasons/time and the right climate, it will only grow exponentially. With that bit more patience and care, some things might just grow out of your initial expectations. Sometimes it's tough to express but it's important to feel it in the right place.

To really love a woman, to understand her
You gotta know her deep inside
Hear every thought, see every dream
And give her wings when she wants to fly
Then when you find yourself lying helpless in her arms
You know you really love a woman

When you love a woman
You tell her, that she's really wanted
When you love a woman you tell her that she's the one
'Cuz she needs somebody
To tell her that it's gonna last forever
So tell me have you ever really
Really, really ever loved a woman?

To really love a woman, let her hold you
Till you know how she needs to be touched
You've gotta breathe her, really taste her
Till you can feel her in your blood
And when you can see your unborn children in her eyes
You know you really love a woman

When you love a woman
You tell her that she's really wanted
When you love a woman you tell her that she's the one
'Cuz she needs somebody
To tell her that you'll always be together
So tell me have you ever really
Really, really ever loved a woman?

You've got to give her some faith, hold her tight
A little tenderness, you gotta treat her right
She will be there for you, taking good care of you
You really gotta love your woman

And when you find yourself lying helpless in her arms
You know you really love a woman

When you love a woman
You tell her that she's really wanted
When you love a woman you tell her that she's the one
'Cuz she needs somebody
To tell her that it's gonna last forever
So tell me have you ever really
Really, really ever loved a woman?


If only more men have that songwriter in them and express it in written or spoken words, their women would be willing to just be there for them, no matter what. It's not about not knowing but the power of expression shouldn't be overlooked and undermined.

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

I'm A Toys' R Us Kid

Feeling nostalgic. I wonder how many of you here can relate to this song.



I think it goes like this...

I don't wanna grow up
I'm a Toys' R Us kid
There's a million toys at Toys R' Us that I can play with
From bikes and planes to video games
I just wanna be a Toys' R Us kid


I can still remember Geoffrey the giraffe mascot and every weekend, when I visited my Grandma, I'd wanna go to the gigantic Toys' R Us at Marine Parade. But because we could barely afford the toys, I never wanted much but merely taking a walk in there and get out feeling happier.

My last trip to Toys' R Us was actually in 07/08 Winter, NYC. I was fascinated by the ferris wheel in the shop and Wii was just launched. So I was contemplating if I should indulge myself. At any age, I suppose they'd have something you'd wanna bring home - Be it Transformers (I've never had any Barbie doll by the way) or the game consoles nowadays, there's always a kid in us that they can attract.

Shoots And Ladders / Korn - Huh?

Took this off Fatshark Guru aka Pui Pui-est's blog... Now that I'm back on public transport, the iPod is back in action!

Rules of the game.
1. Put your iTunes on "shuffle".
2. For each question, skip to the next song to get your answer. You must use the title of that song as your answer, no matter how silly it may sound.
3. Tag at least 10 friends who might enjoy doing this, as well as the person who tagged you. (Not tagging but I guess at least 10 of you will read this...)
4. Tag someone you think has good shit on iPod
5. Tag someone whose music you dunno about


1. What would you say if someone were to say, "Is this o.k.?"
I Don't Feel Like Dancing / Scissors Sisters

2. What do you like in a guy / girl?
Ye Zi (Leaf) / Ah Sang

3. How do you feel today?
Raining Men / Geri Halliwell (Where? Where?)

4. What is your life's purpose?
Did My Time / Korn (Don't I Sound Jaded?)

5. What is your motto?
Yi Ge Ren Shui (Sleeping Alone) / Karen Mok (Just Sleeping Will Do... Really.)

6. What do your friends think of you?
I've Got The World On A String / Michael Bublé (This is interesting!)

7. What do you think of your parents?
Stay On The Road / Corrinne May

8. What do you often think about?
Here To Stay / Korn

9. What is 2 + 2?
Never Had A Dream / S Club 7

10. What do you think of your best friend?
Cai Hong (Rainbow) / MayDay (Question is, who's the best friend?)

11. What do you think of the person you like?
Fly Away / Corrinne May

12. What is your life story?
Just Another Day / Jon Secada

13. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Superwoman / Cao Ge (Haha! Incredible! I think I do, just in a different way from Marvel)

14. What comes to mind when you see the person you like?
Coming Home Baby / Michael Bublé

15. What do your parents think of you?
What Child Is This / Corrinne May (I swear I didn't come up with this...)

16. What will you dance to at your wedding?
I Could Fall In Love - Selena (Actually I Might...)

17. What will they play at your funeral?
What I Want / Daughtry (It's all about me, right?)

18. What is your hobby / interest?
Promiscuous Girl / Nelly Furtado (Haha! This made me laugh...)

19. What do you think of your friends?
She's The One / Robbie Williams (How many friends do I actually have?)

20. What is the worst that could happen?
Joy To The World / Corrinne May

21. How will you die?
Learn To Fly / Foo Fighters (I never knew I have ever aspired to be a pilot but well..)

22. What is the one thing you regret most?
Push Up On Me / Rihanna (Good gracious... I was thinking of wonder bras and how they push me up and I hated it!)

23. What makes you laugh?
Venus / Bananarama

24. What makes you cry?
Over You / Daughtry

25. Will you ever get married?
Torn / Natalie Imbruglia

26. What scares you the most?
Hark The Herald Angels Sing / Corrinne May

27. Does anyone like you?
What About Now / Daughtry

28. If you could go back in time, what would you change?
Wo Men De Ai (Our Love) / F.I.R

29. What hurts right now?
Say It Isn't So / Bon Jovi

30. What will you post this as?
Shoots And Ladders / Korn

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Somewhere Over The Rainbow

There's a faint double rainbow somewhere. Try spotting it...




Dream Home

These couple of weeks/months have been filled with people who bought houses, buying houses and planning to buy houses. Childhood friend bought his nest a while ago before taking the plunge recently but his Mom reminded me during the dinner, "you must have a house first before you can step into a marriage or else you might end up with no where to stay". True enough, considering the fact that I don't plan to live with my parents or in-laws. I've always stood by the age old belief that it's easy to get along with others when you meet occassionally but not when you're living together and see one another every single day. To keep everything simple and nice, it's only best to be on your own. Ideally, not be too far away from the parents and in-laws as they can always pop by to have a look when you're away or when the kids need to run to someone when there's no parent at home.

Daftbitch is funnier with her version of getting her in-laws involved. It basically involves the in laws covering a huge chunk of the house that is going to guarantee her kids to good schools within that 2km radius so these couple of months, she's been hunting high and low but what really tickles me is that someone who is as crazy as myself (if not, worse) as Daftbitch, is worried over the most nitty gritty when it comes to her house. Well, I guess if you're talking about your little nest, all that may seem insignificant, actually really matters. I would imagine myself to be even more fussy and anal when it comes to my turn.

I know of a few couples who just settles for whatever/whereever HDB "blesses" them with or whatever that comes along the way. Others are happy living with their in-laws because of unique situations where more often, it involves an unplanned little one. If given a choice, my house would be cosy. (Read: Small)

Having big spaces isn't really an issue for me although a nice view would serenade me every evening. As long as the house has its bare necessity (which includes a wardrobe, a fully functional kitchen, a family room, a bedroom, etc), size really doesn't matter. Smaller spaces will also mean an easier job when it comes to cleaning up. By the way, answering some of the voices, small is not equivalent to cramp.

More importantly, home is made up of the people and not the sheer space. Although it would be nice if things are made comfortable, without it, life still goes on. A home is what you make out of the house. Having said that, the way the place is gonna be done up will need special attention. As long as it's cosy with the right occupants...

Monday, March 02, 2009

洋葱



I've been listening to this song and can't help relating to the very well written lyrics.

如果你眼神能够为我
片刻的降临
如果你能听到
心碎的声音
沉默的守护著你
沉默的等奇迹
沉默的让自己
像是空气
大家都吃著聊著笑著
今晚多开心
最角落里的我
笑得多合群
盘底的洋葱像我
永远是调味品
偷偷的看著你
偷偷的隐藏著自己
如果你愿意一层一层一层的剥开我的心
你会发现你会讶异
你是我最压抑
最深处的秘密
如果你愿意一层一层一层的剥开我的心
你会鼻酸你会流泪
只要你能听到我
看到我的全心全意

听你说你和你的他们
暧昧的空气
我和我的绝望
装得很风趣
我就样一颗洋葱
永远是配角戏
多希望能与你有一秒
专属的剧情

Most people love and hate onions. Without onions, some foods might not taste half as good but it stinks. Many of my recipes are laced heavily with onions, take for example my clam chowder soup. My idea then was to cook it in such a way kids will still love it and not know it's onions but nowadays, I love them a little less fully sauteed so you get the bits of onion that still retains it's sting.

Some people liken me to an onion I suppose. At times when not prepared right, I leave a bad aftertaste in your mouth but because of the smell, it's not the most presentable dish but with everything else in life, without it, life goes on but may be a little less colourful. Not about to put myself on the altar with onions but I hope to think that I have made a difference.

According to the lyrics of the song, onions are always just a side and never the main. And if someone can take the take away the layers of the onions leading to the heart, you will hear the sincerity.

I have to admit I might not be the most pleasant person you'll meet in your life and I can bet, I don't come anywhere close. But friends who have been friends for a long time, who take the effort to know me better will know who exactly am I. Whether you'd appreciate me for who I am, I can't force that to happen and neither would I. I know there are parts of me that needs refining. I mentioned in my earlier posts that there are things I've seen my Mom doing and I hated it and worst of all, I could identify with the things I do. I'm not about to justify my actions but if it means me changing for the better for my own good, I'll do it but some things just takes time.

If you would take time to peel off the onion layer by layer, getting to know me better slowly, you will find a deeper side of me which I hope you can appreciate.

Childhood Friend

I think it's about 24 years but honestly, I lost count.

Attended my childhood friend's wedding dinner last night at Rasa Sentosa but missed the solemnisation during the earlier part because it was raining cats and dogs and I was desperately trying to find a petrol kiosk to feed Kokoro. It was running really low on Coke... I mean fuel. I get sugar low when I'm Coke deprived so it felt kinda the same.

Seeing his parents brought back some memories. We attended the same kindergarten, same primary school and eventually, same JC. His Dad sent both of us to school every morning during my JC days and he would take 15 minutes to warm up the car. Even then, I was always late. It was until I moved out of that area that we didn't quite keep in contact for a while. It wasn't too long before "Childhood Friend" tried to matchmake me with his friends. Although nothing came out of it, I made some friends and it was fun. With common friends, things kinda drew closer for both of us. I've always appreciated him for making the extra effort to be a friend whereas I just let fate take me to wherever and more often, nowhere.

When I was signing in, wedding helpers asked, "friends from where?" And I went like... "way back when... try childhood friends..." and HEY, I was there as "Childhood Friend". It might seem a little over-reacting but how many people can you actually categorise into childhood friend? He's probably my only childhood friend as far as I can remember! When he acknowledged me in his speech on stage, it was his wedding day mind you, I was slightly embarrassed but was so touched. As much as he always try to be politically correct being the up and coming grassroot leader, I wouldn't even expect anything even if he omitted me out of the speech.

A little anecdote I'd like to share about us during our childhood years. We were 7 and were waiting for the school bus to pick us up. It was after a raining morning and we were accompanied by his Mom and my Grandma. We saw toadstools and he warned me, "these are poisonous so don't step on them." Being the good girl I WAS, I didn't dare go near but I was still curious. So I tried to touch them with the tip of my shoes. Then he exclaimed, "No, the poisonous mushroom will melt your shoe." Man, that scared the hell out of me so I stayed really far away from toadstools until I was like in my teens that I realised they weren't that poisonous afterall and it would take ALOT OF POISON to be melting my Bata away.

Frankly, we're not like best of friends and we don't even have major common groups of friends. But it's part of being there for one another watching the other person hit certain milestones in life, acknowledging the presence of the other person and also your very own presence. These are people who form the skeletal part of your memories, a little like the "Join The Dots" kiddo game where he's part of some of the major dots although he might not be in the actual picture itself most of the times.

To Childhood Friend and you're called so because you're the one and only - I'm truly happy you found yourself a beautiful, sweet bride whom I know will be there for you and support you along the way. We know we'll still be here marking each other's lives along the way. Do know, I hold you very dear as my friend even if we may not have paths that crosses one another's. Congratulations and Happy 28th Birthday!