R v Ahluwalia

Still remembered this case from my Criminal Law classes. One of the landmark cases that brings the difference between men and women's mindset and the latter shouldn't be punished unnecessarily for not reacting like a man.

Gist of the case as follows: Kiranjit Ahluwalia entered into an arranged marriage and suffered years of abuse from her husband. In May 1989 she threw petrol into his bedroom and set it alight. Her husband died six days later of his burns. She was convicted of murder on 7 December 1989 and appealed against her conviction. The first ground of appeal was that the judge wrongly directed the jury that a plea of provocation depended on establishing a ‘sudden’ loss of self-control; the second was that he failed to take into account that the defendant was suffering from ‘battered woman syndrome’, producing a state of ‘learnt helplessness’. The successful ground of appeal was the third. Medical evidence was available but not used at the first trial showed that the defendant was suffering from a major depressive disorder; this could have provided the basis for a successful plea of diminished responsibility. The conviction was quashed and a retrial ordered.

Before the case, murder could only be mitigated with provocation and diminished responsibility. Provocation must be immediate and DR must be some sort of lost of mind. Ahluwalia did not fulfil either requirement and failed in both appeals. On the third appeal, her lawyer brought up battered women syndrome. Women do not get provoked like men whose reaction is almost immediate. These anger stay in women and get built up slowly only to erupt like a volcano one day.

Southall Black Sisters were the ones who helped Ahluwalia out of murder and retrialed for voluntary manslaughter which greatly reduced the sentencing. Southall Black Sisters, a not-for-profit organisation, was established in 1979 to meet the needs of black (Asian and African-Caribbean) women. Their aims are to highlight and challenge violence against women; empower them to gain more control over their lives; live without fear of violence; and assert their human rights to justice, equality and freedom. For more than two decades they have been at the forefront of challenging domestic and gender violence locally and nationally, and campaigning for the provision of support services to enable women and their children to escape violent relationships. This case also brought women being abused out into the light and gives women all around the world more recognition and acknowledgement.

The movie, "Provoked" is a true story based on this landmark case, stars Aishwarya Rai, Naveen Andrews, Miranda Richardson, Robbie Coltrane, Nandita Das and Steve McFadden. Aishwarya Rai, supposedly the highest paid actress in India, was also Miss World 1994. Recently married to Bollywood star, Abhishek Bachchan, Aishwarya was once abused (says my colleague, Mrs Simpson), which may also explain why her performance in this show won many critics over. Although there are varying comments and some mentioned that the show was not factual enough, well a movie's a movie. Mundane things in life may not command box office, unfortunately. I am going to watch it tonight and hopefully, i'll enjoy it.

Lazy Sunday Afternoon

Lazy Sunday afternoon and we're all sitting at The Book Cafe doing nothing. Somehow, i kinda enjoy it. We're single, free, without kids and enjoying the silence. Well, minus off the sound of construction work from the nearby site. In Singapore, the sound is everywhere and really, there's no way you can escape that. Sometimes, this is still way better than kids screaming away. Don't misunderstand me. I love kids. In fact, i love Tubby's niece, Lala, to bits. Just that it's good to know you can always return them to their parents when they start their nonsense.

Blue skys, good sun without the humidity... This is simply a great day for the sun the sand and the sea. Tubby's gotta finish his dissertation draft which explains why we're all here. I'm not lamenting. In fact, i'm glad i can be here for him and spend this lazy afternoon with him. I kinda love it here doing nothing, chatting on MSN, think about work, clearing emails, checking friendster... Besides, Monkey and Zhao Cai Mao are here as well.

Have anyone of us ever looked up into the sky and see how blue it actually can be. Yes i know the sun is colourless but when i was in Shanghai, the sky is actually GREY. The sky reflects the colour of the ocean and apparently, it's gray in Shanghai. It makes you feel really gloomy for no reason why but here, blue skies makes you happy. Well you can't compare with Boracay or Bora Bora, it's as fantastic as you get in a built up city.

Now i wanna go Bora-Bora... Hmmm

My First Vaio

Got my aesthetically pleasing laptop but then again, it could have looked better if my pockets were deeper. All in all, i'm happy because it will serve me just fine since i'll be shuttling between my own place and my second home.

On an entirely different note, Tiger will be having his sex change operation next week and he will be a she by next week. Guess the hormornes injections will eradicate my worries on how he's going to pee with the habitual leg lifting pee posture.

Went for the Estee Lauder private sale just now and bought myself a ton of stuffs and hopefully, not junk. The crowd is insane and i spent more than an hour try to get to the end of the queue and another hour squeezing through the crowd inside. The best buy for today would be a travel size brush set. Been to countless of these sale and could never get my hands on some brushes. this is the first and the best. I couldn't bring myself to walk anymore because i was beginning to amass things i don't need and i don't want that to happen. I'm becoming Estee Lauder's sale expert... Haha!

Blood Red's manicure shop is opening today. Those of you interested for a self-pampering session, head for The Nail Loom Block 218 Bedok interchange. nice quaint outlet and i'm sure you'll go off with gorgeous nails.

Went to Mustafa last night with Monkey and Zhao Cai Mao to get Blood Red's gift. It was tiring to be lugging that huge box but all in all, it was fun to be able to do something for your best friend i guess.

I Can Be Purple, I Can Be Anything You Like!

Had a dream last night that i was turning fat. Think I've really gotta do something about it. I should stick to my low fat lunches and not make regular trips to the point point shop and have copious amount of yummy curry on my rice. Gym... Er... I still try but this week's a little different.

Coloured my hair back to ash-brown last night. According to my colleagues, this colour does complement my skin colour but purple's still funky. I like the purple alot but unfortunately, it doesn't give me the professional aura that I'm supposed to exude. So i had it back to a colour a little more professional looking and soon, I'd need to have a suit ready in the office for emergency meetings. And sooner than that, I'd need to develop an international accent??!! What is an international accent? To sound like Flying Dutchman?

I can be brown, i can be blue, i can be violet sky... I can be hurtful, I can be purple, I can be anything you like... Gotta be green, gotta be mean, gotta be everything more... Why don't you like me, why don't you like me, why don't you walk out the door... In case you're wondering, these are lyrics to the song, Grace Kelly, by Mika. My favourite song for now...

We will be going to Melbourne and Sydney in August. Yippee! I hope... If Monkey and Zhao Cai Mao are to fall through for these GRAND PLANS, we'll just have to plan them ourselves.

But before that, I'd love to go on a trip back to Malacca, yes again!, to have a retreat session at the spa. Can we? (Imagine Puss-n-Boots' twinkling innocent eyes)

Lips Of An Angel

Love this song so much and thought i'd like to share it with you guys. One of those emo-rock but great sing-along, be it the bathroom or when you're alone in the car.

Hinder - Lips Of An Angel

Honey why you calling me so late?
It's kinda hard to talk right now.
Honey why are you crying? Is everything okay?
I gotta whisper 'cause I can't be too loud

Well, my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice say my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It's funny that you're calling me tonight
And, yes, I've dreamt of you too
And does he know you're talking to me
Will it start a fight
No I don't think she has a clue

Well my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice say my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It's really good to hear your voice say my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

Honey why you calling me so late?

I'm A Wild HOG!

Took the weekend to visit Grandma's grave and to pay respects. Brought Tubby there and even my cousin thought that Grandma would be very happy to see him and that he's treating me well.

Instead of my uncle's place, we stayed at Sebana Cove. Not the 5 star hotel sort but very resort feel and definitely relaxing.

We thought coming back on Sunday early afternoon could give us more time to rest but apparently NOT. Went to watch Wild Hogs with Monkey and Zhao Cai Mao. Good show. Hilarious! Would recommend to those who needs a laugh.

Dinner was disastrous but mango pomelo will always salvage the situation.

Was late this morning. My bones were aching... I need a break...

In the process of planning Melbourne & Sydney for August. Hong Kong plans was aborted. Will have to miss my colleague's wedding.

Could Be A Miracle...

Tiger went for an ultra sound scan last night and Singapore's top vet, Dr Jean-Paul Ly, told us that neither his kidney nor liver is severely damaged and would not be fatal. All he needs now is a sex change operation. I'm not trying to put neutering into a joke, the fact is, he seriously needs to change his gender. That would entails removing his whole male reproduction system and not just his balls. Well if that does him good, i guess we're happy. The only thing now is the cost. As alot of you may already know, this whole hospitalisation has burnt this huge hole in my pocket as well as my parents'. I don't think we can afford the operation anymore. But no matter what, we have to do it, else we risk his kidney and whole urinary tract having stones again. Wish him luck and pray hard that my Dad strikes lottery now. My old man is severely stressed over this whole saga financially and i wish i could help him. There's only so much i can do and i'm at my wits end. We need more than this miracle but even then, we're already extremely lucky to have Tiger back and running. Thank you... Everyone who has helped in his recovery or was there for me with your ever generous emotional support.

Updates On Tiger

Just a quick update.

Keeping my fingers and toes crossed. Tiger's problem could just be the liver and not kidney, which is fantastic news. At least it's not terminal or fatal. Our liver constantly heals itself so it goes the same for dogs.

We'll see how the test today goes...

Don't Take Tiger Away From Me. Please!

Tiger might die anytime.

His kidney has failed. Treatment may not be sufficient.

I think it could be my fault. If i had brought him to the vet earlier, he might not have died. To look at him now, after losing all that weight, it pains me to send him back to the hospital. He's not eating nor drinking. He's in terrible pain.

The vet was being optimistic to my parents but i was afraid that she's actually giving them false hopes. Tiger is like my Dad's companion. I don't know how is my Dad going to take this since my Grandma just passed away recently. No other person nor dog is going to replace Tiger. He's my first ever dog and he's like my best friend. When i'm upset, i'll go home and to se him wag his tail to welcome me home, all the pain seemed to have disappeared for that moment. He'll smile when i speak to him. I'm not crazy, dogs do smile, if you have tried to pay attention to them. Tiger is like my best friend.

Tiger is not old. In human terms, he's merely into his 40s. My heart is in pain. I wish i could save him. Let alone the hefty medical bills, the pain is killing my heart slowly. i don't know if i have the heart to love another dog again. He's the best to me and will always be such. He's been there for me throughout my exams, my loss of kin, my disappointments with life and in life. Tiger means the world to me and he's leaving me soon.

Please allow a miracle to happy. I want to see him walk to me to get sayang-ed and kisses, jump and doing a million of other silly things just to ask for treats. Please don't take Tiger away from me. Please...

Changes...

The office seems so different without Ah Joo Dee today. Apparently, we can expect more changes to come during the span of this week. "Long Lash" is in town and he proposed a new seating arrangements for us. So before close of business today, we're going to be moving tables again. I roughly know where i'll be sitting but trust me, nothing is firmed up, even after you're well-planted in the new seat.

My career is going on a very different path. It's going to be major. Very much make or break. Sort of. Nothing has been announced so i shall keep it hush hush until concrete announcement is being made.

Today is the last day of peace and order. Back to chaos tomorrow... Right now, i only wanna work and be super efficient today.

Ah Joo Dee

Finally, you have left us in search of greener pastures. My emotions are mixed. You were my bestest colleague, someone who has taught me how to register candidates and polite no. You will remain one of the best people i'll ever work with. It's inevitable sad and tears just flow down uncontrollably when i had to say bye. I know i'll see you again but i also know, i won't walk into the office with a sugar roll on my desk anymore or have anyone i can buy them for when i feel like giving someone a small treat. I wish i can make you stay by buying you a SME every morning. But i also know, you'll be happier from today onwards. I can only wish you all the best. Have fun in Sydney and do come back to lunch with me. We also had to cover each other during lunch. Now that i don't have to cover anyone, i also don't get to eat myself poor with you. This bottomless pit will miss you. Thank you for everything you've done for me. You mean alot to me in my little insignificant life. I'll miss the team of Babooshka boss, DGJ and you, Ah Joo Dee. Not forgetting comedy boss who completes the team. I'll really miss the old office. I understand the need to grow into a bigger office and expand but i'm sure, time with you guys will always be very important part of my life.

What Pie Are You?

You Are Cherry Pie

You're the perfect combo of innocent and sexy Those who like you enjoy a contradiction

What Kind of Pie Are You?

Dreams Catcher

What is possibly the weirdest dream you've ever had?

C'mon, share your oddest dream.

I'll start the ball rolling...

The one most memorable dream i had was when i was a kid. That's probably the only dream that i've ever had that i've remembered vividly since day uno. - I was strolling down the estate i used to live right after dinner, accompanied by my family members. Then a Mummy (as in those Egyptian horror films) came along in a wheelchair and started chasing me. The rest of my family members were totally unaware that i was being chased by the Mummy no matter how loud i screamed at them, my tears just came rolling down. Well, of course, i was on my feet trying to escape and not be caught by the Mummy. Now for the boring part, i simply ran and the Mummy kept chasing for the rest of the dream until i woke up.

When i was brought back to reality, i turned back to look at my pillow. It was soaking with tears. I must have been wailing like a tap . It sounds silly but hey, it did scared the shit out of me.

Has another dream last night and (using words Juju used) Easy Peasy Lemon Squeesy compared to the Mummy dream. I was walking down the street with Chubby Teddy, now better known as Tubby. We passed by this funeral parlour which deep down me, i knew it was also a bakery although there were no obvious signs that it's a bakery. I went there to buy a box of "Hei Bang" (Cantonese wedding cake), how irony right, buying wedding pastries at a funeral parlour. It's damn odd. Then we sat by the road side, just like the "wu jiao ji", a 5 feet walkway which was a common sight in Singapore in the 50s - 60s. Then my bf's ex-gf and her friend came to sit down with us and we chatted. She was holding his hand but i thought well, ok they're just friends right. Then he told me when we started going out, he was still with her. It freaked me out. But what was worse was that my bf started rambling off in fluent Bahasa. To put things straight, Tuddy did had this Malay gf who happened to be an ex-schoolmate of mine but it wasn't her in the dream lah, it was a Chinese girl??!! Ok back to the dream, he rambled off in Bahasa and i was so freaked, i just rolled my eyes and walked off in a daze.

Look! We all had our fair share of weird dreams. Do share yours with me. Well, apart from those unprepared for exams, teeth falling off, falling down, late for work, not packed for long travels, sort of dreams. Most of us would probably had, at some point in time, at least one of the dreams above.

Big Fish Small Fish

"Long Lashes", my big big big boss, says that he's going to rearrange the seats today. I wonder if that's good news for me. I have my doubts. As you guys know, i'm not someone with the best luck around and i always end up getting the worst so it might be worse than what it is now. Well, i'm getting used to this and it's not as bad. Guess it's blessing in disguise. I'm putting in so much more effort into what i'm doing, not so much that someone is looking at me but i'm not so easily distracted by other things.

Keeping my fingers crossed, i might just have made my first ever placement all done by myself. Beginning from the search to the calling and the crazy arrangements of interviews and organising flights and hotels, meeting with the candidates and client, the worrying if i'll ever get an offer... Now it's all coming together. Albeit it's not big, but it was way bigger than it actually was intended to be and i've made one guy possibly the happiest guy on earth. And also, it's a first for me.

I did one together with DGJ sometime ago but without her help pointing out to me, look this is a perfect candidate, i wouldn't have been able to place that girl. Then again, i must say that i've learnt a great deal from DGJ and my Comedy Boss through these two placements. Yippee!

I know these are peanuts little placements compared to those astronomical once my colleagues are placing but i'm happy because this actually shows that i'm doing the right thing and it's paying off. Good Lord.

Keeping fingers crossed until i see the cheque, and oh well, and also for the whole year while the guy is in the company.

Some Interesting Pictures - Malacca

Chubby Teddy

Monkey In Action

He sure loves what he does...

Hotel Puri

Saga De Malacca

I can't say the Easter trip to Malacca was amazing fun but it did began with a bang. I can foresee that we'll be repeating this saga quite a bit over coffeeshop chats. All in all, i did enjoy myself.

Like i mentioned earlier, we were intending to take "Alibaba's" mini bus up but after crossing the Causeway, we happily thought we were all geared and ready for the 2 hours drive. We couldn't be more wrong. We were pulled over by the Malaysian traffic police just as we exited the customs. Apparently, the license for the bus to cross over to our neighbouring country expired. In the usual Malaysian fashion, they had a long chat with us, putting up the usual show that they can't take bribes and all. In the end, we had to be escorted by the traffic police back to Singapore land. When we were dropping that traffic police off, we found out that we still had to pay like RM 500 to appease him even if it means that we still got to go back home and take the cars.

So we came back and took the cars. Monkey's car was alright, nice car but trust me, if you had to be stuck in the back seat with the sun tanning your right arm, it wasn't something i was looking forward to. I wished we took Xiaobai. At least i could entertained myself on the way there. Had a silent fight with Chubby Teddy in the car but wasn't angry with him, i guess i was just uncomfortable. And all of you who knows me, when i'm either uncomfortable or tired or hungry, i'm extremely grouchy.

Finally when we arrived at the hotel, i found that my long awaited spa sessions were all fully booked. It was hugely disappointing. I really needed a knead on my shoulder and down my back. Luckily, the downhill part of the whole trip ended here.

Cut the whole story short, we ate and ate, walk and walk, then eat again, occasionally shopped a little then back to eating and sleeping. It's weird that one of the most enjoyable part of the trip was playing Uno with Chubby Teddy, Monkey and Zhao Cai Mao. We took some nice pictures which i'll attempt to post it on when i can.

It was an ok trip but the crowd made it complete.

Tiger Can't Pee

Everytime my parents take a holiday, something bound to happen to Tiger but this time round, it's far more severe than any of the previous times. Weeks ago, Tiger had traces of blood in his pee but we kinda brushed it off without paying much attention. Big mistake! On Friday night, he couldn't pee so i thought, well maybe we should just observe him for a day or so. In the morning, i received an MMS from my brother, a voice recording of Tiger's whining. After hearing it, i starting making phonecalls to various vets but they were all fully booked and would only see the animal in an emergency case. It didn't take long for us to know that it's an emergency because at late afternoon, i received a call from his nanny telling me that Tiger has gone into convulsion. I knew the urine will be toxic to his kidneys but i was just too dumb to link the different pieces of information together.

I then got his nanny to send him to Simei because they close later on Saturdays. I specifically told his nanny to take a cab and I'll reimburse her and this was an hour before the clinic closes. I took a cab down from town only to find that she's still home waiting for her husband to pick her up in his huge industrial lorry. I was furious but thank God i didn't blow and was able to hold my cool. My parents would have killed me if i ever raised my voice at her. They were in love with her!

The vet then tried to make him pee but his renal or whatever passage was blocked so they have to poke a hole and draw his pee out. By then he was all soft and his eyes were all blood shot. His pee were all bloody. We had to send him to Balestier immediately to the Animal Hospital and the vet at Simei would go over when she's done. While waiting aimlessly and our eyes half closing, Dr Ly (Top vet in Singapore) walked in and chatted with us. Upon hearing Tiger's plight, he declared Tiger's case an emergency and you can imagine the drama that followed. Everyone in the clinic was summoned for Dr Ly to perform the operation on Tiger himself with the help of at least 2 other vets. I knew the cost was going to be shy high since Dr Ly was pretty well known for his skills and the cost of seeing him. Just to put things in view, to get a consultation with Dr Ly takes about 3-4 weeks in queue. I was glad Tiger was in good hands and cost wasn't exactly on my mind. Well, he did tell me it will cost a couple of thousands of dollars.

That night alone came up to almost $3000 excluding other costs like hospitalisation and such but frankly, it's not expensive to save my dog's life. And for 3 vets to be operating on him at the same time, it's a reasonable price to know that he's in good hands. However, i already had problems with a shocking credit card bill. Remember i mentioned earlier about a low credit card bill last month? That's because it's all billed to me this month. How clever. How unfortunate.

Tiger is already recovering. He's still in the ICU but he can at last wag his tail. He's not moving much nor is he eating. They had to force feed him some nutritious liquid to keep him alive and he's still on drip in order to flush out the impurities in his kidney. This is the first time in my life i heard that dogs have ICU and that they are given epidurals as a form of regional anesthesia. The vets removed say 20 stones from his kidney and his urinary passage which we later found out was the thing blocking his pee from coming out.

I'm just glad he's getting better by the day. He'll be discharged tomorrow. Will update you guys on his blood test and the lab test results of the stones tomorrow.

Work Stress or Irritating Colleague

Generally, people at work will know me as the happy, cheeky girl who's willing to do whatever she told, well if it falls within my job scope that is. I rarely reject people unless i'm overwhelmed but i'm no pushover. I'm lucky to have understanding colleagues and such but recently, some people are just getting on my nerves. I feel that i was pushed back to the starting point and the whole torture peocess has to start all over again. When people can't handle their stress and treats you like a trashcan, you'll be as upset as i am. I was almost breaking into tears but i remembered "DGJ" told me one last thing before she left this company. In order to gain respect in any working environment, i have to be alot more serious. Life is such, you're being judged for who you put out to be and not who you really are and what you can do.

I needed to vent the frustration out so bad that i emailed my bosses and told them in quite an angry tone that i was being "mentally abused" and being thrown PA jobs which were totally degrading for me. I'm like a heavy train going uphill, it seems like you're getting there and it's taking a long time and you're glad you're moving but when someone in the train keep jumping and kept the train from moving any more forward, instead pushing it back to base point, it's really vexing and dangerous. Well, it's all over. I just hope that i can have more of a poker face next time and learn to be more plastic.