A NEW Comment on a November 2007 Article

Before I embark on my next posts on my Track Day today, let me just clarify something. I received a comment today on a post dated November in 2007. Please click HERE for a good read. To give people who are going to read this article with a short forenote:

- This article was written in November 2007. I have since moved on from wanting to buy a bimmer to actually having bought a Volkswagen. They are still German but for totally different reasons.

- If I have not made it clear enough, it wasn't the blue, white and black logo that attracted me but it was the sheer handling of the car. BMWs being RWD with 50-50 weight distribution and having built award winning 4 and 6 potters, the engines are gems from years of R&D. Read the article again, I did NOT say Rex = Beng and Bimmers not. I said Rex does have a beng image/factor which is objectively objective. Ask any tom, dick, harry on the street...

- As for your newly rich, crass over class and your interpretation of HDB, you're merely looking down on people living in HDB flats and think that they are crass. Mind you, I grew up with proper upbringing and education, crass is last on the list. The fact that you actually said what you did, you do know crass to a great extent. Go ahead and dwell in your own tiny world.

- Association of BMWs owners and snobs? Read my article carefully. There are STILL people out there and I HAVE personally met and spoken to these people. It may be in the 70s and 80s but these people aren't dead yet! So poor people like you walk to Orchard. Congratulations on your wealth that you can flaunt off and call yourself poor. You obviously have not worked a single day in your life to know how hard it is to earn your own keeps and be able to afford your own ride. I may not drive a very fancy car but I have pride and I'm glad to say I earned every cent of it myself. Of course, I'm not poor enough to pay the whole sum and I'm effectively 100k in debt, paying the bank off in installments for the next 10 years.

Now I have no mood to talk about my Track Day. Have the guts to leave your name if you have the intentions to leave such sarcastic remarks. Wuss!

你好吗

This will be a super short and fast post. Yes, come call it is a quickie.

Anyway, Kokoro met with its first accident yesterday. It was a slight brush and all it needed was some cosmetic surgery. Details would be up soon but right now, I need sufficient sleep for my next track day kaypohing around.



温柔的时间抚平我们的亏欠
过几天过几年伤会好一点
多久没见面孩子气有没有变
还记得我们从前笑的那么甜
baby 我想起你你有了他
是否依然为了爱变的很傻
我想起你你有一个他
好久都没说的话你好吗
温柔的缠绵我也放下了依恋
过几天过几年伤会好一点
我收着照片安静在盒子里面
回忆是你我剩下唯一的关联
baby 我想起你你有了他
是否依然为了爱变的很傻
我想起你你有一个他
好久都没说的话你好吗
问候是我对你好想说出的话
现在你过的好吗
我想起你你有了他
是否依然为了爱变的很傻
我想起你你有一个他
好久都没说的话你好吗

A specific hug was left at lost & found...

My First Track Day

I wasn't crazy enough to track Kokoro as yet but it was truly an experience. Now I want more for my Kokoro...

Back to Track Day, I taxied my way up just to have a taste on how the convoy would be like up and down so that I have enough courage to bring Kokoro up on Thursday. Highly likely...

Upon reaching there, people started to unpack and unload. It was just so much fun even to watch. Very soon, we heard the Porky Cup Car's exhaust blasting away, almost deafening but definitely sweet. You could hear exactly when the car downshifts from the pit itself! No pictures but there will be another one on Thursday. Stay tuned.

Clean White Sheet Of Fabric

Have been refraining myself from posting too emotional stuffs and living in an illusion that my life is not that messed up. Unfortunately, I can't deny myself any further. I'm allowing myself to be entertained and mesmerised for that 20-30mins every now and then when the honey drips and life have to revert to it's normal form after that. I call it reality. I could of course force myself to stay away but doing so would practically kill me. Let me live in my dream and hopefully one day, dreams do come true.

Would you draw the details on our fabric with me? The clear, white sheet of fabric that never came...



Calm down
Deep breaths
And get yourself dressed instead
Of running around
And pulling all your threads and
Breaking yourself up

If it's a broken part, replace it
But, if it's a broken arm then brace it
If it's a broken heart then face it

And hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
Hold your own
Know your own name
And go your own way

And everything will be fine
Everything will be fine

Hang on
Help is on the way
Stay strong
I'm doing everything

Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way

And everything, everything will be fine
Everything

Are the details in the fabric
Are the things that make you panic
Are your thoughts results of static cling?

Are the things that make you blow
Hell, no reason, go on and scream
If you're shocked it's just the fault
Of faulty manufacturing.

Yeah everything will be fine
Everything in no time at all
Everything

Hold your own
And know your name
And go your own way

Are the details in the fabric (Hold your own, know your name)
Are the things that make you panic
Are your thoughts results of static cling? (Go your own way)

Are the details in the fabric (Hold your own, know your name)
Are the things that make you panic (Go your own way)
Is it Mother Nature's sewing machine?

Are the things that make you blow (Hold your own, know your name)
Hell no reason go on and scream
If you’re shocked it's just the fault (Go your own way)
Of faulty manufacturing

Everything will be fine
Everything in no time at all
Hearts will hold

What's That Smell? Something's Burning... My Pocket!

If you're a road idiot like myself, you will need a navigation system. I know once upon a time, we used to have road directories in the car and some of you may still have them. There's absolutely nothing wrong with them, different strokes for different folks. This is just very positive feedback from me, one unique user. Had it not been the GPS, I might have wasted alot more petrol even though it doesn't always give me the best route. Take for example, when there's a choice for me to head home either via the AYE, ECP route which is my preferred choice, it'd always chow the CTE, PIE. And everytime I pass by Ang Mo Kio, my ERP just beeps non stop. Yes, it led me to a heavily congested road and I even have to pay the government for it. However, it will always bring me to where I need to be eventually. I thank God everyday for technology.

Over the last few days, I'm been contemplating making a trip. A backpacking trip. I can imagine some jaws dropping just about NOW. You can imagine me bringing my credit card along and swiping my way into a swanky hotel after 2 days. Well, even 48 hours seem a tad too long for me roughing it out. Truth it, I'd be happy to do it. To shock the skeptics even further, I had in mind to do seasonal jokes like plucking apples, shearing sheeps, providing my 3 lbs of brute strength to vineyards. And yes, paying my way just to do the jobs of $10 an hour. I see it as a pure life learning process, a once in a lifetime priceless experience. I really hope I can find something...

Being a boy trapped in a girl's body, I have quite an array of interests and most of them are really expensive to upkeep. Apart from a usual girl's fetish for bags and shoes, I love cars and anything that makes it go faster and look better. That alone is very damaging for teh bank account. As of today, I have so much in my pipeline I want to do to Kokoro (my car's not so masculine name), I think I'll have to work alot harder come October.

Right now, I hope I'll have excess to play with cameras. I really love the Canon 40D and I'll get it when my bank account eventually grows. Right now, the suspension, anti-roll bars, the exhaust, the chip... is at the top of my priority list. Let me speak to Santa Claus and see what he can do. He's got now till December to save up...

Brief Movie Reviews

Part of the grand plan to fill up my 3 months of not doing anything is to lunch with different people everyday. The laughs and jokes shared during lunches is something I should be thankful for as long as I don't choke. To keep my readers entertained since I've ran out of daily ramblings and grumbles, I'll have a wider range of what-not to talk about. Come to think of it, haven't I been doing this all along... Getting senile for spending too much time home.

Caught Dark Knight at Gold Class over the weekend. It was kinda cool as we had enough people to book an entire cinema. Come to think of it, 24 seats wasn't hard to fill. No doubt, it was fun to have everyone in the cinema people you know rather well. Doing silly things which you wouldn't usually do in the other theatres were inevitable. As for the movie, I was glad that they managed to portray Batman for who Batman really is and not a superhero. Although not my favourite genre of movie, I enjoyed it tremendously. A good 2.5hours spent in the cinema.

Today, managed to catch "10 promises to my Dog". Not a usual nor popular vote among my friends. All in all, the graphics were rather fake BUT the plot was worth all the while. As a dog lover, I was able to empathise with the lead character. After I got home, I gave my dog a big fat hug and played with him. It has always been easy for me to advocate the fact that our dogs only have us when we have our lives. Doing it myself is a totally different story. With busy work schedules and frantically trying to squeeze the remaining of life into my life, I have barely any time with Tiger. Day after day, he's always there waiting for my return and even when I'm out of the country, he'll still hide in my room whenever there's a thunderstorm. If you love dogs like I do, grab the DVD since I reckon it should be off the charts pretty darn soon.

No Commercial Break

So much for having nothing to do, I should have time to blog more often but truth is, I'm spending much lesser time in front of the computer and more burning some petrol.

Zhoos is now back in Singapore. His Dad passed away last week from a heart attack. I knew his Dad as a very nice man and good father. Over the years, I've always told Zhoos how wonderful his Dad was but he doesn't seem to see it. Like everything else in life, when we're in it, we just don't see how lucky we all are. I started to look at everything in another light and began to view my folks differently. As much as Mom drives me nuts at times, I'm happy she's still around and still grumbles, only cuz she cares.

Finally collected my belongings from the office yesterday. I didn't even had the chance to step into the office for one last look but that was expected and I reckon good for a non-emotional separation. Having been here for a little more than 2 years, I left feeling totally unappreciated for the work I've put in for 2 years. It is selfish to blurt out something like this as I think Comedy Boss has put in alot of effort to keep my unscathed. But from the company, in my perspective, just seems to be doing things in absolutely mala fides. I can't express how disappointed I am.

Spending these few days running from garage to garage just irritates the hell out of me. In a good way though... I got reminded of how much I need to do to Kokoro and voluntarily and knowingly got myself poisoned. The irony is that it takes about 3 more months to get my engine cranking again and start firing up for a brand new career. I know I will get there...

"La teh" session with The Fat Club was enjoyable as usual. And nothing out of the norm, the focus of night was on me. I just made it sound glamourous when in actual fact, it was pain, bitter sweet sort of pain (if that is how I can describe it). Let's just say I was the target of jokes and the spotlight never quite left me with occasional commercial break on "Psyduck's Chick". The jokes last night got a bit more to the counseling session type of awkward situation. I was caught defending myself for the silly decisions I make and possibly bad judgement of character. I knew they could jolly well be right. At one point, I wanted to break down and wail but the stubborn me wanted them to know that I know what I doing and hopefully my choice isn't wrong. Knowing exactly why they are convincing me otherwise, I was fending off all the protection and love they were trying to surround me with. I almost got angry with them for not seeing what I'm seeing. It is not possible to prove a point but to hang on to what I genuinely believe in and knowing that if I have to fall real bad one day, I will have several chubby shoulders to lay my head on. All in all, I know they care a shitload for me. At the same time, I also hope that they can give me the necessary blessings I need to tide over this crazy faith and belief.

To Rest Is To Take A Further Journey

After countless pairs of shoes, bags and bags of clothes, guilty amount of food, I'm finally broke with a frightening credit card bill waiting for me at home. I am a now happy camper. Almost towards the end of my retreat, just as I thought I'm ready to go back and fight a war, my energy wouldn't have a home till early October. Meanwhile, I shall stare at my wall and hope to get some form of response. More holidays await so ammunitions would have to be sensibly allocated to tide me over the next few months. Clever amortisation will guarantee a tight but reasonably comfortable quarter of doing absolutely nothing at all. After this few months, you will see very little of me or my writings. My soul would be loaned to what people deem as career and where I have my undivided passion for what I think I do best and will continue to do better.

Krispy Kreme anyone?

I miss my Kokoro!!!

Random Useless Thoughts

Been walking, eating, shopping, buying, looking non-stop. Was so tired last night, I was totally concussed. Haven't had that happening to me in ages. Did some thinking as I sat here a moment ago focusing on surfing Facebook within the 1 hour internet usage I paid for. As we grow older by the day, from our younger days of living on love and believing love works wonder and constantly feeling the need to feel in love, we start to age and as the aging process takes place, we begin to feel rather jaded and slowly losing the understanding of what love really is.

When I met Urban Legend months ago, I thought I found the one. In fact, I still do. The feel is still the same but circumstances aren't. I started to not believe in life and what it can give anymore. I thought I could be irresponsible to myself and not care about things anymore. No matter what I did, I couldn't walk too far away nor ignore what others deem as harmful to me. I kept walking nearer and nearer to danger. Reluctant to get really hurt, I hide. Beneath the lively exterior, lies bags of tears waiting to be released.

Underlying every of my action is the urge to tell you how much you mean to me and what is it that I can actually do to make things right? I should just learn to walk away...

Right now, I should just be happy that Krispy Kreme is about 50 steps away from me.

Blank Thoughts, Blank Life

Current announcements via the PA system is still not asking me to board my flight. In dire need of sleep, I'm staring blankly into thin air in hope of catching some sleep during the 4 hour flight. In our life, we often do things that doesn't quite flush with our intentions and sometimes, we just play with fire till we burn our fingers. Good thing being, well, burning the tip of the fingernails. Things could have been worse but I'm not giving myself an easier time. I only have myself to blame all in the name of fun.

Got a shocking letter yesterday and finally faced up to reality that this world is just too mercenary. When you have lost your value to people, be prepared to be treated like trash and without the least bit of respect that you would expect to command. To be fair, I began with hoping for the best and since this is not the worst, I should be counting my blessings.I suppose there's a reason for everything but this means, I'll just be poor for the next 6 months or so. Gives me all the more reasons to keep pushing myself to scale greater limits. Allowing myself to take my own sweet time is no longer an option, it is deemed obsolete. And with the impending excessive rest, I will only emerge tougher.

Time to board...

Lucky... Am I? *shrug

The soft spot I have for you doesn't seem to go away. I don't quite know if I ever want it or for myself to go away. By now, I should be furiously avoiding and retaliating, I am not. All I find myself doing is to accept what come may. Never have I felt so vulnerable, waiting for pain to invade. The refusal to believe that you may never be mine hasn't quite hit home. Being all alone believing in myself and of course, the belief to believe in you doesn't quite go down very well with everyone else. Most thinks I'm stupid and I should be shaken out of the daze. I think have faith. God told me just have faith and he'll take care of everything. I trust that I will breeze through the blades without getting cut. I can only refuse to wake up and convince myself that I'm invincible. The tears aren't helping... All I want is for you to step into the picture you drew for me and complete it. Maybe I should just wake up from this dream or was it a nightmare?



Do you hear me,
I'm talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying
Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music fill the air
I'll put a flower in your hair
Though the breezes through trees
More so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

Fossil At Work. Not.

It's been a couple of days of rotting at home. Well, I won't say rot since I've been shuttling between the garage to mahjong games to watching the boys play futsal. It's been a good few days of not doing anything but I can't take this any longer. Leaving me floating in the air not knowing if I should not give a damn on something that is greyishly invalid or be really worried that I'll get into some form of tug of war. Haven't seen Silver for ages and it's been just a few weeks, this man is totally changed. I've never seen him so prudent and I must say it is a pleasant change. Being totally inspired to plan for my retirement life and when I plan for it to start. He also gave me to encouragement to work hard enough so that I can build some form of passive income. Let's plan... How about my first million by 30? GO!!!

Will be leaving for Hong Kong around this time tomorrow. It's the rainy season but this is not gonna deter me. I needed a break badly and Ex-Sir's Sir wanted to just get away. Perfect and off we go, planned just less than a fortnight ago. I just can't wait for Tokyo...



你还记得吗记忆的炎夏
散落在风中的已蒸发
喧哗的都已沙哑

没结果的花未完成的牵挂
我们学会许多说法
来掩饰不碰的伤疤

因为我会想起你
我害怕面对自己
我的意志总被寂寞吞食

因为你总会提醒
过去总不会过去
有种真爱不是我的

假如我不曾爱你
我不会失去自己
想念的刺钉住我的位置

因为你总会提醒
尽管我得到世界
有些幸福不是我的

你还记得吗记忆的炎夏
我终于没选择的分岔
最后又有谁到达

Life's Jigsaws

Had a real bad fall from wakeboarding yesterday. It wasn’t so bad that my contacts fell out but when I hit the water, it felt as if someone slapped my face real hard and instantly, I knew I was going to get whip lashed. True enough, I can barely move my head today. Although the pain is bordering on my threshold, I am a real happy girl. I had bigger air yesterday. With my heels dug in, great efforts put in not to jerk my body and keeping my handles low, I had higher jumps though not far enough for my 2 wake but I believe if I get the whole “riding up” smoothly, I don’t have to be bothered how “far” I was jumping. Besides, with the right basics, I know I’ll get there so for now, it’s just a matter of time. Just like everything else in life, once you can get your principles and directions in line, the others will fit themselves in nicely like jigsaws.

My cousin’s little celebration for his second ROM was totally following family tradition – Bordering disastrous. As usual, the young people had the good fun – Food, beer, kids running around, amusing you.

Side anecdote – Little Javier, my nephew, said something that really amused me.

Snugloft: When’s your birthday?
Javier: 10th November
Snugloft: Which year?
Javier: Every year!

We have heard this every year joke too many times but coming from an 8 year old and the fact that it was instantaneous, cracked everyone present up.

Another conversation I heard between Javier and Shermen (my other nephew) when someone asked where Javier’s Mom was.

Shermen: Javier’s mommy working at the airport.
Javier: Not airport, she works on the plane.
Shermen: She went to the airport yesterday to work.
Javier: My Mommy went to the airport but she works ON THE PLANE.
Shermen: No! Airport!
Javier: (Sigh!) Children just don’t understand.

Haha… Too funny!

Back to the little party, apparently Golden Mushroom Auntie just didn’t get it that you have to let the kids do whatever they want. My cousin is in his 30s and this is second marriage. She was throwing tantrums in front of the guests and said that she was not being respected since my cousin didn’t invite more relatives from “our” side. I feel that we should just give him all our blessings and hope he lives happily ever after and not creating more problems for him. After watching the entire drama, I was glad my parents are rather open and let me do whatever I wanted. They have never quite interfered in my decision making processes. Though they’ve been bugging me on certain things and how certain legends went silent. While believing in what I believe in which at this point no one apart from myself knows that for a fact, I didn’t want them to question my actions nor decisions in anyway (not that they would but I just don’t like the hassle). So I avoided potential questionings. I don’t like the “see I told you” talks but I’d rather shut them up with real actions. When things are there, they are there.

Having a live-in maid can be inconvenient but let me tell you, my unique situation has been God sent. During this period when I’m all busy and ready to fire off the rocket, my part-time helper needed a place to stay. Her current employer doesn’t have a place for them to stay. Together with her friend, I now have 2 live-in helpers. Apart from the weekly thorough cleaning up they do for us, they still pack bit by bit around the house. Half my wardrobe looks like it’s been through war since the other half looks incredibly neat. The contrast is just like heaven and hell. My room is still a bit of a hell hole right now but I’m sure it’ll be better very soon. Taking a day off to pack my own room will help them keep it organized in future.

With the “deed” done on Friday, I will very soon have some time to pack up my room before I embark on my new journey. This is going to be a tough journey as I’ll be all on myself but with enough determination and hunger to spur me on, I know I will be able to do it. I don’t believe in spoonfeeding where you create a creature who leeches on to wherever that gives food. I’m starting to feel like a leech so I think it’s time I gain some independence and feel how rough outside world can be and grow up accordingly. My plans are to grow out of proportions, out of my shell and surprise everyone else. I will do it and I know I can. Now, I have to bring myself to start doing it.

Flusters - One At A Time

One thing at a time. I must learn to manage my fidgety moments more efficiently. Heart attacks a looming. Palms are sweaty, feet are cold, head is spinning. Constantly reminding myself, money is secondary. Building of an empire is awaiting. Help!

How can someone tell you that they like you but they have a totally separate life that they are leading? Isn't being together for 2 individuals the coming together of 2 wholesome beings and forming a much better entity complementing one another? Apart from being 2 great wholesome independent individuals, nothing else actually comes close of creating togetherness. How would anyone think it is ok? I for one, will not allow myself to get used to it and will not even think that this is an acceptable situation. Nothing anyone say is ever going to change my mind. I wavered once and once is all I am allowing. I am a highly favoured individual and I should know that fact very well. Sinking into a point of no return is totally unacceptable.


We don't talk the way we used to talk
It's hurtin' so deep
I've got my pride, I will not cry
But it's makin' me weak

I'm not your superwoman
I'm not the kind of girl that you can let down
And think that everything's okay
Boy, I am only human
This girl needs more than occasional
Hugs as a token of love from you to me, baby

I'm Yours

Well you done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted
I fell right through the cracks
and now I'm trying to get back
Before the cool done run out
I'll be giving it my bestest
Nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention
I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some

I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love love
Listen to the music of the moment people dance and sing
We're just one big family
And It's our God-forsaken right to be loved love loved love loved

So I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

Scooch closer dear
and i will nibble your ear

I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer
My breath fogged up the glass
And so I drew a new face and laughed

I guess what i be saying is there ain't no better reason
To rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons
It's what we aim to do
Our name is our virtue

I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
this is our fate, I'm yours

Well no no, well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find the sky is yours
Listen to the music of the moment come and dance with me
A lá one big family
It's your God-forsaken right to be loved love love love

I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

No please, don't complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

No please, don't hesitate
no more, no more
It cannot wait
The sky is your's!

Plans Plans Plans... Just Go!

It's been a while since I walked down Orchard Road and do nothing but shop around. Took a day off since BFG Uncle is here from Toronto. Was supposed to bring him out shopping but I ended up getting myself this nice LBD. Hot! For once, we were rambling on about our passion for cars face to face. Awesome! We even checked out Honda's showroom before heading for Vivocity for dinner. He's totally in love with the Civic Type R. It's about time for a trip to Toronto... And Whistler!

It actually feels amazing to be comfortable with oneself. But one big prickling issue persists...

Well, we can't please everyone. Everyone will have their piece of mind for the moment and what they think, as much as we would want to think it's not important, how the image runs in their mind is utterly important in terms of upholding a proper image. An attempt to right the wrongs is in the pipeline but trust me, pipelines never quite go according to plans. Thou shalt be who thou is. The faith that aids the process will definitely make things better. Like I always say, "my conscience is clear..."

A brand new start awaits. A holiday to Hong Kong is in place really soon and I mean REALLY SOON... Like nest week! Despite the storms and all, Ex-Sir's Sir and myself decided that we should get away for a good breather and embark on bigger things when we return. That's another part of my suspension gone to a holiday I desperately need. It should be worth the while. I simply can't wait...