Thursday, February 26, 2009

Ants On Fire

The level of worries escalates as the end of the month draw nearer knowing that my fate will be sealed if nothing happens. Being entirely helpless obviously does nothing to a mind that thinks that it has to do a g'zillion things at a time. That said, ironically, the body refuses to move. It is not the lazy bone at work but the thought and hope that things might take its turn, just allows procrastination to take its place. All these will end with the panic that sat in of a sudden and the realisation of how dire the following times can get. Maybe desperation is the only word that can aptly describe the situation.

As much as I think I'm possibly a very unlucky person but somehow, I'm often very blessed with little things in life that will sort itself out when comes crunch time. However, not to test fate and take life for granted, the hunting process for survival must be doubled up. God only help those who help themselves and I'm not about to feed myself with my excuses. Any food within reasonable reach is edible!

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, You make me sing.
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.


Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Let's Start From Here

Song by Joanna Wang that moved many. The soothing voice just adds on to the myriad of emotions that came with the lyrics. The videoclip can not longer be embedded so follow this link. Joanna Wang - Let's Start From Here

Giving up, why should I
I've come to far to forget
We're beautiful, we just got lost
Somewhere along the way
So much was missing when you went away
Let's start from here, lose the past
Change our minds, we don′t need a finish line
Let's take this chance don’t think too deep
Of all those promises we couldn′t seem to keep
I don't care where we go
Let's start from here

Standing here face to face
A finger on your lips
Don't say a word don't make a sound
Silence surrounds us now
Even when you were gone I felt you everywhere
Let's start from here, lose the past
Change our minds, we don′t need a finish line
Let's take this chance don’t think too deep
Of all those promises we couldn′t seem to keep
I don't care where we go
Let's start from here
Let's start from here

I've never been the one to open up
But you've always been the voice within
The only warmth from my cold heart
Let's start from here, lose the past
Change our minds, we don't need a finish line
Let's take this chance don’t think too deep
Of all those promises
Let's start from here, lose the past
Change our minds, we don't need a finish line
Let's take this chance don’t think too deep
Of all those promises we couldn't seem to keep
I don't care where we go

Let's start from here

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Pet Peeves

Everyone will have their pet peeves and bottom lines, almost like a self-defence mechanism. It may be a common peeve and one found on Wikipedia even mention what I know is a common pet peeve among many drivers here in Singapore, "Gap Snachers" - drivers who speed up to keep others from changing lanes. It is difficult to come up with a list of pet peeves that bother us because we are often unaware of what annoys us especially when it comes down to the nitty gritties. If you ask me, I think there's an inherent fear in everyone and depending on what it is, some things might just annoy the hell out of you. Most of us learn about pet peeves of friends and family over time and as you interact, others just tolerate nonsense as they come your way. In the worst case scenario, things turn ugly. Mostly, this greatly depends on the tolerance level for others within ourselves and at least for me, this tolerance level exist in exponential levels relative to the importance of the person.

As far as my memory serves me right, I remembered my Grandma wronged me on several occasions (because of an irritating younger brother which I am sure most of you can relate to...) when I was little and all I did in retaliation was to hide in my little corner and sob. There were also times when I flew into a rage but those times got far lesser as I grew older. My defence mechanism got stronger and all I did was to hide in my little corner. I was extremely upset and annoyed especially if these things are caused by those you love most.

Some little things in life may signify the bigger picture what life can bring. Pet peeves could be due to fear for things that could possibly happen in the future. For every little thing done, there could possibly be another similar act this is of a much bigger magnitude/scale. So how much would the little pet peeve set you off and how much can one tolerate? As amazing as our tolerance levels can surprise us, if pet peeves get in the way, would we still walk the walk and talk the talk?

Monday, February 23, 2009

Simple Pleasures in Life

It might just be a fresh & warm chwee kueh to some and most times, an ice cold Coke blows me away. Lying down in the comfort of your very own room watching TV can just be as comforting or if not, more peaceful. In that aspect, hugs are miraculous when it comes to soul healing. Even that little touch of the finger when silence slowly engulf the atmosphere, can possibly send some spark down your nervous system heading straight for the blood pumping organ. When the breaths becomes deeper and longer, the heartrate responds accordingly. The mind gives in and thinks while it takes a break from thinking as well. The complexity yet the simplest in life...

The weekend wasn't the most thrilling neither was it the happiest but it was one that I could just take things slowly and absorb the best of what people around me fills me with. It was just so peaceful to be able to pour the toxins out and the body once rid of the bitter bits, will start absorbing the beautiful and serene ones. It's the little things in life that completes it.

The smile that you put across my face with the words you splash across my screen, gives me the nutrition I need to walk down the desert and may there be drought ahead, I know I'm well prepared for the journey. For I know, you will be waiting at the finishing line...

"I love you. You... you complete me. And I just..."
"Shut up, just shut up. You had me at 'hello'. "

Friday, February 20, 2009

I Wish I May, I Wish I Might

Penguin has swam across the ocean in search of bigger fishes while Rabbit stays behind to hold the fort and plant some carrots in this drought-strickened fields although she constantly peers over to the land across the next mountain and hoping to see some healthy plants growing there. Life seems to go on and Rabbit is happily missing her partner. Penguin might be away but he's never been closer to Rabbit. It's unexplainable...

Many things in life in amidst of the cruel Rat Race, the chase for endless results tires many down. Some lose their smiles, others might even lose their lives. It is unthinkable that without emotional support, where does survival gets its nutrition? Friends of the forest ease highly strung situations and bodies. Laughs take our minds off the ongoing war. Smiles remind us of the moments. The feet becomes lighter because of hope.

During times when it feels like the chase is imminent and without the fight, the soul slips. It is only when one has straighten all the fingers, losing the grips and grabs then the gain is immense. It is when the seek becomes the sought and only to discover, it was never too far away to begin with.

Love the star that the star is and only when you forget that it actually shines, it will sparkle right up your face.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

When Rabbit Goes To Hell

It's been a few days and I wonder how I can actually blog this. I'm barely an explicit blogger neither do I wanna share certain bits with the world. But how much that has happened is enough to bury my soul. Right now, I'm beyond words. Let me try to reiterate in my way.

When Bunny first decide to move for greener pastures, she already had a patch of greens, albeit it was a small patch. Maybe this little Bunny, or "Rabbit" as Stitch9966 likes to call her, just wasn't happy with that 2 x 2 sq feet space so when the 10 x 10 sq feet came along, she jumped into it not knowing that this patch of grass is situation on the downhill. Then it started to rain, soil was waterlogged, the flood slowly sat in. In an attempt to remove the flood, all the grass and soil must first be removed to see if there's anything blocking the flow of water but while they do so, the rabbit can't survive on a grassless patch. There will be no food and the food Rabbit borrowed last winter has still not been paid up, no matter how hard Rabbit has been working. If the neighbours wants the interest for the food left, Rabbit will need to jump into the puddle of water and kill herself first. So Rabbit will need to seek another pasture to feed upon but this time, she is carrying her little knapsack and she'll be walking miles to a brand new area. (At least this is what Rabbit hopes.)

During the time when Rabbit was moving from 2 x 2 to 10 x 10, she met her friend, Penguin. Both of them trottered in her little bunny mobile and went places. That was one of her happiest times although both of them were nursing wounds from previous falls. Penguin mobile was undergoing plastic surgery and they spent some time just visiting the hospitals.

To lose her Rabbit mobile was imminent but has proven highly unlikely. So right now, Rabbit will have to find her way to the new piece of greens so she can start harvesting anew and be the star that she once was, all over again. Whereever this piece of land may be, waits to be seen.

Penguin finally broke out of his little quiet moody self and became the man she always saw him to be. He was patient with her antics and stood by her, trying his best to understand her frustrations and what caused her tears. The pressure that was cooking in Rabbit was far more than she would think she could ever handle. Although she's surviving well, she was mentally exhausted and torn apart. Had it not been the support Penguin gave and stood by her all this while, Rabbit's decisions may just be unthinkable.

By now, all the friends from the jungle came out and offered their concern and hugs and Rabbit is very thankful for the friends she has and the hugs they gave. All she wants now is to find the new patch of grass knowing that Penguin is there to hold her hand and her friends from the jungle will be there for her whenever she needs them.

The End.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Take 5

Never realised the importance of time with myself, even if it's just for a mere 5 minutes. It was my time with God and myself. I can't remember a time that I was more antsy than this morning. I fret like a little baby in the wrong environment but not knowing what was up. Short breaths, cold fingers and a running mind weren't considered fun. The time with myself was definitely needed.

Whenever we say, "whenever you need me, I'll be there". This morning was a time I felt I needed someone, badly. But not knowing what or who I needed, I knew it had to be just myself. I had to be there for myself if no one else would or could. Fretting is not going to get one past a day near a small percentage of efficiency. Clearing my mind was the only way out. I tried breathing and I spoke to myself in the tiny but silent room.

In life, people say all kinds of things. Some are pleasant to our ears, others just fire us up. Eventually, it does boils down to perspective as I've always pointed it out. We can choose to listen to them or turn a deaf ear. Some words are comforting even after a few months since it was first written. If the words still takes on the same meaning, life would be great. But things changes. Things people used to say might mean nothing now as much as we treasure it like our last heirloom and find comfort reading it over and again. I suppose that's why many keep little notes and letters by old friends, only to remind ourselves how great things used to be.

Human beings tend to look back and think of the beautiful things and forget how painful and crazy those times can be. Take for example, my last employment drove me to nuts with painful little episodes but now that I'm out of it, I look back and only recall the good portions. Only fond memories are left UNTIL Babhooska Mom reminded me of some things. But memories are just memories and I'm glad to leave them there.

Someone once told me before that human beings only remember the good things and dump the bad which is why memories are generally fond and wonderful. Pain is too temporary that we forget once we're out of it. Some of us carry this pain further but eventually, we will let them go. The story of the monk carrying the lady across the river, one that I believe many of you have heard or read it before, has left the lady at the river bank but his counterpart was the one harbouring thoughts on how proper it was for a monk to carry the lady across the river. If only we can leave some things behind like the monk... During the last service, Pastor Prince said something along this line - "Leaving it behind you". It immediately reminds me of this monk story as much as it may seem like two conflicting religions and I was in church!

Some of us still carry baggages be it knowingly or otherwise. We might have thought we left it behind but truth is, we might not. My Grandma left me some years ago and on days, I still wake up thinking she's alive. Whenever I feel low, I still try to seek comfort speaking to her before I sleep. I know she's someone I can never let go. I know no matter what, she will live in me. Before I slept last night, I tried to speak to her but didn't get to because I broke into bags of tears. I miss her dearly but I know she's no longer here for me. To me, it was sufficiently to know she has once loved me like no one else in this world ever did. That was enough for me. Whether one still consider her as a baggage, that is perspective. She left fond memories and whatever she taught me, will only make me a better and stronger person.

Before she left, she told me that one day someone would truly love me. At that point in time, I just brushed her off because no one can love me like she did. Since then, I have very little confidence of being loved by anyone. There are several occasions I thought some people did come close but I was left disappointed and stranded. Confidence is not exactly something I have that is building within me unless reassurances are enforced. Then I learnt to slowly let myself go to learn to love again and be loved.

I was once told via a text, that if I have more faith in myself one day, someone would truly love me and then I'll know, I have all the time in the world to share it with... I still hold that thought very very close to me.

Take 5 minutes with yourself when you're antsy and the world should appear brighter.

Monday, February 09, 2009

Honesty Is The Best Policy, Or Not?

Is it delusion or plain stupidity that drives people to a point of no return? The hand is all open and things fall effortlessly.

Imagine a provision shop where payment is based on trust and honesty in people, there is no shopkeeper nor security cameras. Patrons are expected to pay for what they consume. Are human beings naturally honest or circumstantial? Well, if I dangle a carrot in front of a hungry bunny, I expect certain results. So would Socrates be correct that people are basically honest? And when trust is betrayed, what would it take to regain that? This is not plain Freakonomics, it's humans and their predictability vs unpredictability.

When the provision shop owner places the products in the shop to be consumed freely by its patrons, he/she would be totally vulnerable to invasions and hurt to know that people aren't as what he/she thought they would be. But without opening a window to subject yourself to pain, how would one know how wonderful some people or life in general can be? But more often than not, when given too much freedon, men in general do breach that zone. Taking the honesty rule for granted, takers think very little of the harm they are causing until they see the blood and tears for themselves. Or maybe until a day, the shop will no longer be there. Would the desire of convenience then prevail and guilt sits in?

Honesty is the best policy - An age old idiom that still holds water.

Packing up the shop and leaving might just be the best way for the shopkeeper albeit with much realisation and pain. The best way is also subjective. In this case, the shopkeeper is keeping the window of vulnerability open in search of hope.

Saturday, February 07, 2009

爱于诚 - Love & Truth

This is one song I've been hearing over and again but never quite found out what it meant until I googled it earlier and was repeating it on my music player. If you can read Mandarin, you would probably find some wisdom in the lyrics although the song is in Cantonese.



其实自己一个更开心 只等你讲
其实大家早已嫌大家却扮忙
恨有多一点碰撞 仍然无聊事干不敢打搅对方
要是你愿意 诚实讲一趟
彼此都起码觉得释放
不要哭 我也忍得了这些年来的委曲
没法真心爱下去 只好真心真意的结束

别再做情人 做只猫做只狗 不做情人
做只宠物至少可爱迷人
和你不瞅不睬 最终只会成为敌人
沦为旧朋友 是否又称心
没有心 只像间人
若有空 难道有空可接吻
注定似过路人陌生 你怎么手震

长期被迫恋爱也真比 失恋更惨
长期扮演若无其事般 更困难
是我专登反应慢 明明为时甚晚 牌一早该要摊
再像我伴侣 仍望多一眼 一生都将会记得今晚
对不起 自动分手错愕的你怕会伤感
盲目的我 现在也可转台来贺你新生

别再做情人 做只猫做只狗 不做情人
做只宠物至少可爱迷人
和你相交不浅无谓明日会被你憎
沦为旧朋友 是否又称心
没有心 只像间人
若有空 难道有空可接吻
注定似过路人陌生 你怎么手震

Friday, February 06, 2009

Not A Superwoman

As I always quote George Sands, "There's only one happiness in life..."

Life is unpredictable and intuition has proven to be more than just a pre-menstrual syndrome. Silence is painful but necessary. Life is complex and unfathomable. Drive is the going and the inertia. Rollercoaster ride is not a selected game in the amusement park. Pause is to rest and recollect.

Many a times, we question ourselves "what do we really want"? And more often, we find that we may not have an answer that is the answer. Trials forms the process, the process forms the ride and the ride takes you there, or not.

Is happiness how we perceive or do we have a formula? Can we gauge happiness by the smiles or the trials? How many times have we say, "if only I did or did not do certain things" and regret becomes part of the baggage. Baggage aren't meant to be permanent, or will they grow onto you? Can we all pick up and walk? We're still human.

The desire to be a super person keeps the lazy bone moving. And the love for another keeps the mind going. Not everyone is Clark Kent and even Clark Kent can be paralysed.

I wish but I'm not... A Superwoman...

Early in the morning I put breakfast at your table
一夜都没睡但我 不曾如此清醒
我早餐准备了你 爱吃的东西
这次换我等你被咖啡 的香味叫醒
想要找回每天早晨 对我微笑着的你
还能够 做些什么代替我的歉意
总是望着我 小心翼翼 顺着我呼吸
而我竟然理所当然 让你精疲力尽

You were my superwoman
安静的在身边 无条件给我 梦寐以求的温柔
But I am only human
我怎么不懂你多寂寞 残忍的犯了错
不能失去你

You fought your way through the rush hour
Try to make it home just for me
月光下静静靠着彼此 只求夜长一点
有多久没有好好看你 只是认定了我
无论在什么时候回头 都有你的笑容
是我忽略了你也会有 想要哭的感觉
没有一种付出应该永远心甘情愿
再给被宠坏的男人最后一次机会
换我忍耐换我等待 不要真的弃权

You were my superwoman
安静的在身边 无条件给我 梦寐以求的温柔
But I am only human
我怎么不懂你多寂寞 残忍的犯了错
不能失去你 Ooh—Babe---

是我把爱想得太简单
以为只要我存在就能让你取暖
心里唯一的superwoman没有人能代替
不能想像更不能原谅这样让爱化成 灰烬

You were my superwoman
安静的在身边 无条件给我 梦寐以求的温柔
But I am only human
我怎么不懂你多寂寞 残忍的犯了错
不能失去你

One can only make a difference if it's perceived that a difference is being made or was made. Making a difference is not a forte one can master. All you can is to surrender yourself, do your best and leave the rest to life to arrange into place. There's only so much one can do...

And Karyn White sang in the same tune...

Early in the morning
I put breakfast at your table
And make sure that your coffee
Has its sugar and cream

Your eggs are over easy
Your toast done lightly
All that's missing is your morning kiss
That used to greet me

Now you say the juice is sour
It used to be so sweet
And I can't help but to wonder
If you're talking 'bout me

We don't talk the way we used to talk
It's hurtin' so deep
I've got my pride, I will not cry
But it's makin' me weak

I'm not your superwoman
I'm not the kind of girl that you can let down
And think that everything's okay
Boy, I am only human
This girl needs more than occasional
Hugs as a token of love from you to me

I fought my way through the rush hour
Trying to make it home just for you
I want to make sure that your dinner
Will be waiting for you

But when you get there you just tell me
You're not hungry at all
You said you'd rather read the paper
And you don't want to talk

You like to think that I'm just crazy
When I say that you changed
I'm convinced I know the problem
You don't love me the same

You're just going through the motions
And you're not being fair
I've got my pride, I will not cry
Still I can't help but care

I'm not your superwoman
I'm not the kind of girl that you can let down
And think that everything's okay
Boy, I am only human (I'm only human)
This girl needs more than occasional
Hugs as a token of love from you to me

Oh, baby, look into the corners of your mind
I'll always be there for you through good and bad times
But I can't be that superwoman that you want me to be
I'll give my everlasting love if you'll return love to me

I'm not your superwoman.

Thursday, February 05, 2009

Belated Birthday Gift

After an entire day of excruciating pain from some strained muscles along my shoulder blade, I knew I had to see a doctor when a sneeze felt like it could take my life away and breathing became a chore. Painkillers were prescribed to ease the pain (duh) rooting from an injured deep tissue muscle that was near to my ribcage. Friends have been making fun of Moody Penguin and myself for injuring ourselves at the same time but truth is, we weren't injured while attempting some kinky stuffs. I pulled my muscle when I was trying to lose those flabs at the gym! Then again, the more you explain, the worse it becomes. People love to hear what they love to hear.

Anyway, Moody Penguin had wanted to get me my birthday pressie since... well, my birthday. Knowing him, he ranks last in the hopeless romantic list and practicality reigns in terms of the things he bet his last dollar on. And those of you who are thinking of "useful girlfriend", wipe that thought off! He briefly mentioned late last week that we're gonna hit town and get my pressie sometime this week and he needed for me to be present. But that thought didn't quite occur when we went to Marina Square yesterday. His prelude of hanging around aimlessly and stories of finding an old point & shoot camera at home being less than decent to loan it to a business counterpart convinced me that he was going to get a point & shoot for himself when we walked into Cathay.

As he was browsing, I took very little interest in the camera stuffs because that was my g'zillionth time in that shop ever since I dated him. As he picked up some cameras to see, I casually picked another camera to play with since that was the sucessor of the camera I almost bought a few years ago but eventually settled for a Sony T10 which by the way, he thinks it's a crappy camera (I do not disagree at all). After seeing my cousin carrying a similar camera during Chinese New Year, I took special interest in the Canon Ixus 870 IS with the HUGE viewfinder and I mean the 3" screen nearly filled the entire back of the little camera. I was pretty impressed by the wide angle function (although I didn't think it was very wide-angled) but I was sold on the macro function. Not to compare with people with the "tua leng kong" ie DSLR, I could take relatively sharp images of objects that was less than 2cm away from the lens.

At this time, Moody Penguin "showed interest" in the camera I was holding and started playing with it. And within a minute, told the guy that he's getting it. He liked the silver one but I thought the gold one looked better. Without even batting an eyelid, he told the guy to bring out a new piece of the gold one. So I questioned him as to why the gold one. He was so quick, he said "more unique". I bought that (the story). Even until this point, I was totally oblivious to his intentions because we could pay in instalments on my credit card and I thought that was the only reason why he brought me along.

As we were walking, he shooed me to buy an ice cream cone for him which I was more than willing to do since he never fails to chomp down on that mint chip thingy everytime we pass by Andersen's. It's extremely pleasing to see that smile on his face whenever he's chowing the ice cream down to nothing. Simple pleasures in life. Me watching him and him munching his favourite thing. And within 10 steps, he just casually passed me the bag and mumbled "nah your birthday present". I was pleasantly surprised but I didn't want him to spend so much money on a gift like that on me. Besides, I'm not a serial point & shoot blogger. (Think: Ms PillowLim)

Moody Penguin, being the guy he is, has this MAN thing. No sweet talk nor nonsense. His concern is beyond words and as much as I can get extremely exasperated at times when I just need a little sayang, I know he cares. Similarly, he said nothing sweet nor romantic but just gave me the "nah your birthday present" nonchalantly. It's not the cost of the gift nor the practicality and for once, we mean every word of "it's the thought that counts". Not that it's not a good gift and in fact, I totally dig it. I think it's a major improvement from my "lok kok" T10 and I can now go snap happy and be a second PillowLim, aka PillowSim. But what mattered most was his intentions. Not every gift is perfect or even great as much as we appreciate most of them. But the amount of effort one puts in to get someone an apt gift, is irreplaceable.

A quote we can hardly forget if you belong to this generation of mine. In Jerry Maguire, Dorothy (Our Bridget Jones whose name escapes me this very moment... Right... Renée Zellweger) said, "I love him! I love him for the man he wants to be. And I love him for the man he almost is."

Meanwhile I'm going to play with the camera... Provided that I have a charged up battery. See! This morning I came into the office thinking that I'll charge it in here since I need a minimum of 9 hours to charge and after I do that, I can use it tonight. Our smart friend here (it's ME by the way...) brought the camera, the memory card, the charger but forgot about the battery entirely! Marvellous! For a review of the camera, you have got to wait for me to have a chance to charge my camera's battery.

Thanks Dear...

Monday, February 02, 2009

Twenty Six Cents

This post comes a little late but better than never. I told myself, I had to blog this because thinking about it gives me the giggles.

Was having coffee with Dentist Woo Woo end of last week and just before we met, he rang me and asked if I have got postage stamps with me. Who the hell carries stamps around with them unless you're got one stuck on each eye? Not wanting to sounds any lamer, let me continue...

So we met and I offered to walk with him to the Sam machine to purchase those stamps all for a cuppa hot milo. On the way to the machine, he blatantly revealed that he doesn't know where else he can buy a stamp without stepping into the post office. Right. This was totally forgiveble since the admin does most of the posting work and none was left for him to dirty his hands with.

When we got there, he was amused that local postage cost 26cents. To be utterly honest, I knew we had to pay GST for the stamps but I didn't know they cost 26cents either (the last price I heard was 22cents), which of course, he didn't know cuz I didn't try to exclaim how equally dumb I was and as you can see, I don't post my own mails either.

When the stamps were dispensed, they took the form of a sticker rather than the traditional square jagged edged you-gotta-lick-it-to-stick-it-stamp (this I knew very clearly that it was a stamp and not a Panini collectable sticker). I swore the look on DWW's face turned from amused to bemused. He was seriously worried if the machine cheated him out of his $2.60 since he bought 10 stamps. Which I wonder... What would he do with the other 9 stamps?

And you think my fun ended there and then? Not quite. When we were at the post box posting out this mail, he was hunting for some sign. The sign that said local postage costs 26cents! He was still in disbelief that he had to pay GST (and probably inflation) for stamps. His time stood still when local postages were a mere 20cents. I was in disbelief how a man of such intelligence and success had trouble understanding postage stamps are subject to GST as well and post office wasn't the only place you can purchase postage stamps.

All these only because he had to get a small cheque out to a car club to "chope" his membership.

I had an amused Friday and I dare say, I worked hard for that Milo.

Sunday, February 01, 2009

Happy Birthday to All

Today's Dad's birthday and also all of ours. Known as "RenRi" (Man's Day), this day falls on the 7th day of the Chinese New Year. Birthdays of Chinese were traditionally celebrated on this day. So you get older during this day instead of a particular day in the calendar that marks our individual birthdays that we are more commonly used to. For Dad, it was easier. According to the way we're more used to calculating age, he's 57 this year. I'm still not used to the repeated "sudden" realisation that they are fast growing older by the day although it did hit me when it was my birthday earlier this year when I inched closer to the big 3.

Dinner at my place was never a huge affair given the space constaints but also made gatherings alot cosier. Without too much room to roam, people were forced to interact and not that it's a bad thing. To have my favourite cousin whom I'm closest to and her two princesses over was the highlight of my day although XiaoMeiren cousin never fails to be a better "daughter" to Dad. She bought him a nice cake and I on the other hand, totally forgot about it. She's like the big sister who always covers my arse. Somehow, I feel happily inadequate...