Everytime We Say Goodbye, I Wish We Had Another Kiss

If one is found sitting in an empty and cold room staring into the promises written on the ball of the past, the legs curl up and you try to remind yourself, happiness is not measured by this moment but a collective series of episodes consisting of the past, present and the future. Hoping that crazy emotions doesn't get the better of things, you take a deep breather and just think of the most beautiful images you could ever piece together and recall. What is missed is often easily brought up by a song or a line but what could be missed could possibly mean a lifetime. Life brings about many junctions and many tend to detour you but once the destination is a clear one, perseverence will pay off. Or will it really? The junctions bring about opportunities and alternative happiness but eventually, it is the destination that you are concerned with. However, the company that keeps you going during this journey cannot be taken out of the equation. So what if the junctions are tempting, the decision lies within. When I believe it to be beautiful, it is not an illusion. It is beautiful. Bring me to life!



Do you hear me,
I'm talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky oh my, baby I'm trying
Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music, fell the air
I'll put a flower in your hair
Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

想太多

I remembered when we were young, our school bags were atrociously heavy. Every night, I'd religiously pack my bag to make sure that I will have the necessary the next day but not overpack. However, the possibility of overpacking was unavoidable due to personal anal characteristics that I'd rather overpack than underpack. To underpack would be disastrous. Which actually equates to a huge travel toiletries bag and that normally takes up a good quarter of my luggage for any short haul trips. When underpacked, I'd feel totally inadequate and my mood would normally hit rock bottom, killing the rest of my trips. Well, that generally applies to crucial items like spectacles, contact lenses, hair mask and my flat iron for the unmanageable hair.

Back to school bags, my parents were always worried if I run the risk of becoming the Hunchback of Notredame. And as the day passes, the bag becomes heavier. Or when the weather isn't quite going the way you want it to be, you just wish to dump the bag in some field and bury it forever till it turns to dust. I knew my parents would ensure I'm the one to bite the dust eventually so I gradually gave up that thought.

How many times have we found ourselves beginning a day with a light bag and subsequently found it too heavy for our shoulders? The contents hasn't changed and if any, cash miraculously disappeared during the day. For me, I blame it on the shopping indulgence happening once every blue moon. I prefer to call it retail therapy. Minus the shopping part, the shoulders get more and more tired without any significant addition to the general weight of the bag. The drag is painful but we're bound to carry them home. How many of these times do we wanna just head straight home (excluding the shopping trips in Hong Kong whereby it's so convenient to drop off your shopping at the hotel before returning to the mall for more killings) and not care about the load anymore? Sometimes we succumb to the sore shoulders but for myself, more often than not, I endured till the end of the day and happily head home to smile at my very victorious shopping trip. All is not wasted when you put on your pair of killer heels or that sexy little black dress. However, not all shopping trips end with good purchases. On days, you find yourself going back to swop but better sizes/colours or a total refund for the unwanted product. Though few and far between, it sure does happen. Undesirable but unavoidable. So the next time when your bag gets heavy, don't just flag a cab and head home. think of the more beautiful things awaiting for you at the end of the day. Hopefully, life gets more fulfilled.


你笑着说 他是朋友
但你眼中太温柔
我的不安 那么沉重
只有你不懂
他霸占了 你的心中
属于我的角落
所以你说 我们 不是你和我

是我想太多 你总这样说
但你却没有 真的心疼我
是我想太多 我也这样说
这是唯一能安慰我的理由

他霸占了 你的心中
属于我的角落
所以你说 我们 不是你和我

是我想太多 你总这样说
但你却没有 真的心疼我
是我想太多 我也这样说
这是唯一能安慰我的理由

我想我没有 错怪了什么
虽然你不说 都是错在我
太晚我才懂 爱了你太多

是我想太多 你总这样说
但你却没有 真的心疼我
是我想太多 我也这样说
这是唯一能安慰我的理由

Authenticity of Care

Every girl, and for that matter, every human being likes to be given the attention and to be cared for. But life is weird in the way when you are expecting concern from specific people, they tend to not notice your needs. On the very same page, you have people who care and gives you the attention you so desire. Does it really matter at the end of the day if such cares are genuine or are such concerns a selfish way to keep our emotions on a constant high? What is the yardstick for authenticity then?

I suppose if we look at our life like the GPS navigation system. One needs to get from point A to point B. At times, we may need to take a detour but we're eventually headed to our destination. Other times, for one reason or another, we abort the current destination to hunt for the nearest mall. There are traffic warnings here and there but it boils down to oneself is you would want to bring withn the speed limit or beat that red light. Penalty may or may not come. The single most important factor determining the destination is eventually the driver him/herself. One decides if a detour is needed or desired regardless of the highlighted route.

Crucially, your conscience should be your natural direction in life. The destination may not be clear but clearly, the drive ought to be a safe and hopefully, interesting one.

Life's Eclipse

It's been quiet but it isn't dead. Besides work, my Blackberry has occupied all my other time frantically trying to find someone for dinner in the bare remaining hours I'm left with after work. Due to the lack of an interface to blog via my Blackberry, I've gone pretty darn silent. I'm back with a vengence and I'm determined to find a user friendly interface to start blogging again. If you have got any suggestions, please inform me.

After work, life mostly revolves around a short dinner cum coffee then it's straight home because by then, I'll be dead beat. Rarely do I have the luxury of spending hours out after working hours because I'd be expected to be at work on time, if not, before official start time. And to be working on the other end of this island, being at work on time is important yet discouraging.

To be home early has lost its appeal. Having my folks grumbling about my job and the limited promised dough isn't pleasant and with Skype no longer blinking away with highly anticipated conversations, to be home early has lost its incentive. However, going home slightly later doesn't mean that I have loads of time to unwind. Doubled with the lack of sleep, I'm beginning to look like a real zombie.

Hopefully, Cannonbola Run 3 this weekend can spice up my life that bit more.

THE Prada Bag

Shopping has always been my more feminine love and equally as painfully and detrimental to my pocket as my love for cars. Slightly more than a year back, I made my choice and adopted Kokoro. Subsequently, I lost my job and settled for a job I would never have imagined myself to take on. As much as it is interesting, it's not able to financially support my expensive passions. Not that I'm regretting and in fact, I'm thankful for such an opportunity. However, I do want to kill myself when I go shopping and realise I have lost the spending power I used to have. I started to think if things would have been better had I continued to plough on the same dry ground and hoping the rain starts to pour and on a daily basis, pray that things grow on the barren ground. I kinda like the way it is now that my life doesn't depend on the variant in my paycheck but that also means it wouldn't grow no matter how hard I work.

While staring at the black leather/fabric bag in Prada, I was so tempted to bring it home. When I was told that they have only brought in 5 pieces and that was the last piece, I nearly died because I wanted it so damn badly. My immediate reaction wwas thinking if I should go back to my previous line. to be honest, apart from the meagre paycheck, I do enjoy what I'm doing at the moment. But for the kinda headache I have to brave through, I am seriously overutilised on the per dollar basis. Don't get me wrong because I'm not complaining. I just wanted that bag quite badly but I cannot justify spending 2 months worth of car installments on it and not eat and spend for the rest of the month. Sigh...

Friday Entertainment

My self entertainment while facing pain at work, turning my anguish to laughter.

An internal email to a colleague:

"Dear XXX (XXX to protect my innocent colleague),

I think for general XXX (XXX to protect my innocent department) “Mental” Health, we should set up a course. Common Sense Development Course (CSDC) The purpose of this course is to reduce hazardous remarks that are said without putting any reasonable thoughts to it and causing grieve to others as a result. In the course, we will provide XXX (XXX to protect a particular government organisation) certified trainers which are commonly found in most zoos and humans call them monkeys. The honouranium will be in the form of peanuts.

Please approve this course suggestion so we can get non-English language certified courseware developers to start developing courseware plagued with spelling errors.

PS. I wore my watch on my waist today and my belt on my wrist. I’m so happy."
Another follow up email by me:

Dear XXX (XXX to protect my innocent colleague),

Thank you for the approval. Please note that trainees are able to claim special funds from Mandai XXXlogical (XXX to protect someone who doesn't quite need much protection) Garten but please do direct them to the Idiots Only Department (IOD). They have to meet the basic requirements as follows:

- From department of Sales/Marketing
- Certified as old ugly men and occasionally some old ugly women

Unfortunately, I’m sorry to tell you that you do not qualify so XXX (XXX to protect my innocent department) will not be able to sponsor you for the course as XXX (XXX to protect my innocent department in another desperate attempt) is the anal department always giving people trouble and always receiving others’ unwanted burden. You need to be ugly and stupid enough to qualify so in the event that you disfigured your face AND killed your brains, we will accept an appeal from you and might consider waiving your course fee.

I have just entertained myself on a PMS plagued, stressed up Friday.