It was that after lunch drive. I can still picture the face, the smile, the voice. Dreams were beautiful, hopes remains. Dreams are still dreams. Bright lights turned to night...
Was it you who spoke the words that things would happen but not to me
Oh things are gonna happen naturally
Oh taking your advice I'm looking on the bright side
And balancing the whole thing
But often times those words get tangled up in lines
And the bright lights turn to night
Until the dawn it brings
Another day we'll sing about the magic that was you and me
Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just read of
Others only dream of the love, the love that I love.
See I'm all about them words
Over numbers, unencumbered numbered words
Hundreds of pages, pages, pages forwards
More words then I had ever heard and I feel so alive
Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just freaking up
And if you could see me now
You and I, you and I
Not so little you and I anymore
And with this silence brings a moral story
More importantly evolving is the glory of a boy
Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just freaking up
And if you could see me now
Well I'm almost finally out of
I'm finally out of
Finally deedeedeedee
Well I'm almost finally, finally
Well I'm free, oh, I'm free
And it's okay if you have go away
Oh just remember the telephone works both ways
And if I never ever hear them ring
If nothing else I'll think the bells inside
Have finally found you someone else and that's okay
Cause I'll remember everything you sang
Cause you and I both loved what you and I spoke of
and others just read of and if you could see now
well I'm almost finally out of.
I'm finally out of, finally, deedeeededede
well I'm almost finally, finally, finally out of words.
Maybe houses are meant to have fences...
Monday, March 31, 2008
Snugloft Clones Needed
There has just been a tsunami of work flowing in and it's driving me nuts. But I'm actually quite happy that things are starting to pick up and people are actually starting to hire! I'm going in to have a chat on some possibilities for myself tonight but still rather skeptical. When people start to pee and be very territorial even before you step into their grounds, you just have to imagine yourself walking on a minefield threading every step you take. Before I get drowned under all the calls and work...
For once, I feel that I need to split myself up into many Snuglofts. My favourite little girlie has got HFMD and has been crying for me. (Honestly, I was really touched and happy to hear that although it's painful to know that she's suffering...) The last time I saw her was months ago and I couldn't believe my own ears when I received the phonecall that she wants me. I was hoping to take the day off to take care of her since her parents aren't in Singapore at the moment but I'm so tied up at work and to take annual leave below 48 hours of notice would be really tough. I think I would just have to rearrange my meetings and spend some time with her after work. I am so gonna faint from exhaustion by tonight. I'm slightly insomniac and it's so silly how my system refuse to sleep and just an hour before my alarm was planned to go off, I would just doze off. Just thinking of the sores in the mouth of the little one really pains me. To think that I chose my job so that I can have more flexibility in future with my kids... Pah!
Back to work! Hopefully I could sneak off to sayang her later...
For once, I feel that I need to split myself up into many Snuglofts. My favourite little girlie has got HFMD and has been crying for me. (Honestly, I was really touched and happy to hear that although it's painful to know that she's suffering...) The last time I saw her was months ago and I couldn't believe my own ears when I received the phonecall that she wants me. I was hoping to take the day off to take care of her since her parents aren't in Singapore at the moment but I'm so tied up at work and to take annual leave below 48 hours of notice would be really tough. I think I would just have to rearrange my meetings and spend some time with her after work. I am so gonna faint from exhaustion by tonight. I'm slightly insomniac and it's so silly how my system refuse to sleep and just an hour before my alarm was planned to go off, I would just doze off. Just thinking of the sores in the mouth of the little one really pains me. To think that I chose my job so that I can have more flexibility in future with my kids... Pah!
Back to work! Hopefully I could sneak off to sayang her later...
Sunday, March 30, 2008
像普通舊朋友 還是你依然會心疼我
The clip above is essentially a competition between 2 budding singers. Somehow, both songs struck some chords in me. 世界唯一的你 kept me going for 1 tough week and 聽你、聽我 kept me through my Grandma's passing. Both sets of lyrics seem to go hand in hand about how I feel now. When I saw her face lying there 1.5 years back, I had to hold back my tears to be strong for everyone. Behind the scenes, I could only cry to myself. And when caught red-handed by Dad for crying, I was told to stop.
你沈沈的睡著
我靜靜 看著你的容貌
聽你的呼吸 聽你的心跳
忽然很想告訴你
謝謝你過去帶給我的美好
I guess your departure is why I'm so afraid to face the world myself and why I try to be someone I'm not. Or rather, I try to hold on to the weight of the world I thought I could bear. Little do I know that my insignificant body could only take on the world because you were my refuge. Are you happy where you are because that is what I believe to be prime importance to me? Or am I selfishly nursing my own wounds and only using your absence as an excuse? Maybe I just need to hide... Somewhere... Anywhere...
你是我的寶
我一直為你感動驕傲
即使夢想再累再煎熬
你仍然緊緊抓牢
真心的執著絕不放掉
As positive as I try to portray, there was no way I could swim to shore almost so immediately. Refusing to admit that I'm only human, I could only hope the sunshine brings me back to reality, where I actually belong. What have I done to put myself in the most vulnerable position to be affected by just one person? Even when I had to be tough for the world, I have never been so taken away from myself. Somehow, I do think this actually helps me see things alot clearer and be there for myself. Only I can bring myself find myself and re-emerge as a better person.
恨我来不及参于你的过去
抱歉让你等待
我愿意付出一切交换
我灵魂的另一半
这个世界唯一的你
是我拥有的奇迹
对我说的一字一句
都是我们的秘密
紧紧拥抱唯一的你
无可救药的坚定
就是世界与我为敌
我也愿意
我什么都愿意
The simplest of all happiness in life is actually the most unattainable. Contentment is something that we fight to achieve everyday and yet the benchmark never seem to move any closer. Thankfully, I came to realisation since way ahead of time and I always valued my ability to be contented. But when you are surrounded by discontented people, can we truly be contented? Then again, I haven't quite been to the destination where I can say that's final contentment so maybe we are always in search of that something that we may never have.
我并不是天生爱寂寞
却比任何人都多
Do I tend to think too much for me to figure what may seem excessive to most? 我要快乐 Is it so difficult for us to have that simple happiness in life?
At least I survived a 20 odd hours flight some months ago because I believed in having that simple happiness.
只要看你一眼一瞬间
哪怕是最后画面
我的世界
因为爱过而完美
谁都不该离太远
Now, I have to starting breathing and start walking...
如果你也聽說 有沒有想過我 像普通舊朋友
還是你依然會心疼我
好多好多的話想對你說
尋找一顆心沒著落
要怎麼負荷 捨不得 又無可奈何
Let There Be Light
Initially I thought I'd be upset but strangely enough, I found a brand new piece of mind. I always believe that everything happens for a reason. Throughout this entire ordeal, I have learn to trust in my faith and let things happen the way it's planned out for me. Some may say I'm stupid or silly, on the contrary, I have stood up for what I believe in and how I want the direction I want my life to be. It is such a relief to find that I'm happy with the way my life is no matter what stumbles me along the way. Only when I can love myself, will I be able to allow myself to be loved.
Was just off the line with Alcoholic Empress Dowager. To my surprise (well, not really to be honest), everyone has their story to tell. Each and every one of us has a dark part of our past we might either want to shake it off or live with it. I just choose to live with mine and reconcile within myself that I will eventually be in a better position at the end of the day. Everything that happens in life has taught me a valuable lesson that follows me as I age. Life is very much how we want it to be and the only thing that's going to change how we feel would ultimately be our very own perception. There's a bright side to everything and there's always something good in store. Just like I have flaky skin right now but come next week, I know I will look better than before. It's a choice I took and I will have to live with it - The good and the bad.
Life is unpredictable. We as human beings try too hard to anticipate what come may. At times, it may just be the best idea we learn to let it go. By doing so, our hands are free to receive even more beautiful things waiting to happen. We shouldn't just pray for things to happen. Instead, we should learn to take things in stride and be very patient. Take for example, while we are waiting for a bus that takes forever to arrive, instead of praying that the bus comes right this very moment, we have learn to be able to wait for it to come. It should be understood that the world doesn't revolve around us and things should just happen with a click of the fingers. If that's the case, David Copperfield wouldn't be half the man he is today. When we understand that everything in life happens for a reason and meanwhile, leading the kind of life that would bring a smile on our faces, we wouldn't feel so painful as to wait for things to materialise.
Things are almost never how it seems. Being too narrow minded and short sighted would just very well kill our perceptive mind. "Let there be light" - Holds far more layers than God turning on his power switch. If you let it be, it will happen. Whether the end result is what you expect is another matter all together because all things happen for a greater reason that we should not try too hard to decipher but be ready to receive at all times. Create the space to receive and it will come to you. I'm just telling myself to stop grabbing and keep those hands open. I feel loved.
Was just off the line with Alcoholic Empress Dowager. To my surprise (well, not really to be honest), everyone has their story to tell. Each and every one of us has a dark part of our past we might either want to shake it off or live with it. I just choose to live with mine and reconcile within myself that I will eventually be in a better position at the end of the day. Everything that happens in life has taught me a valuable lesson that follows me as I age. Life is very much how we want it to be and the only thing that's going to change how we feel would ultimately be our very own perception. There's a bright side to everything and there's always something good in store. Just like I have flaky skin right now but come next week, I know I will look better than before. It's a choice I took and I will have to live with it - The good and the bad.
Life is unpredictable. We as human beings try too hard to anticipate what come may. At times, it may just be the best idea we learn to let it go. By doing so, our hands are free to receive even more beautiful things waiting to happen. We shouldn't just pray for things to happen. Instead, we should learn to take things in stride and be very patient. Take for example, while we are waiting for a bus that takes forever to arrive, instead of praying that the bus comes right this very moment, we have learn to be able to wait for it to come. It should be understood that the world doesn't revolve around us and things should just happen with a click of the fingers. If that's the case, David Copperfield wouldn't be half the man he is today. When we understand that everything in life happens for a reason and meanwhile, leading the kind of life that would bring a smile on our faces, we wouldn't feel so painful as to wait for things to materialise.
Things are almost never how it seems. Being too narrow minded and short sighted would just very well kill our perceptive mind. "Let there be light" - Holds far more layers than God turning on his power switch. If you let it be, it will happen. Whether the end result is what you expect is another matter all together because all things happen for a greater reason that we should not try too hard to decipher but be ready to receive at all times. Create the space to receive and it will come to you. I'm just telling myself to stop grabbing and keep those hands open. I feel loved.
Friday, March 28, 2008
Knackered
Since my first day of work, I've never been like a salesman running round town, almost like a mad dog. And weirdly, all my clients have to suggest this one eventful day. Now, I'm beat! That only means that if I'm not going back to office over this weekend, I will probably have a crazy week ahead trying to tie loose ends. I used to think that by keeping myself busy will help take my mind of things but during the past week, I found out that if some things is that much of a bug, no matter what you're doing, it will haunt you!
A funny anecdote today. - I was in the cab on my way to SGX Centre 2. The cabby replied, block 2?" Well I thought given the local cabbies' pidgin English, probably right. As he drove down Tanjong Pagar and when I saw Cantonment Police HQ, I knew something was wrong. The building that I was heading is getting further from me... Then it hit me... He was driving me to SGH Block 2! Puh leese... I was too tired to argue with him and I started texting Urban Legend Wifey to tell her of yet another misadventure of the day. I can't tell you how grateful I am that she's not sick of my excessive smses yet.
For a few weeks from now, I'll be eating, sleeping and breathing P&I Clubs. Hopefully by the end of the day, it wouldn't be wasted research.
Too tired... Starting to peel... Ewww... Time for bed... Waking up in a few hours to send Prince back to Lampung... Feel like having my Horlicks Ice Cream with Gummi Bears and Shortbread... Incoherent... Zzzzz...
A funny anecdote today. - I was in the cab on my way to SGX Centre 2. The cabby replied, block 2?" Well I thought given the local cabbies' pidgin English, probably right. As he drove down Tanjong Pagar and when I saw Cantonment Police HQ, I knew something was wrong. The building that I was heading is getting further from me... Then it hit me... He was driving me to SGH Block 2! Puh leese... I was too tired to argue with him and I started texting Urban Legend Wifey to tell her of yet another misadventure of the day. I can't tell you how grateful I am that she's not sick of my excessive smses yet.
For a few weeks from now, I'll be eating, sleeping and breathing P&I Clubs. Hopefully by the end of the day, it wouldn't be wasted research.
Too tired... Starting to peel... Ewww... Time for bed... Waking up in a few hours to send Prince back to Lampung... Feel like having my Horlicks Ice Cream with Gummi Bears and Shortbread... Incoherent... Zzzzz...
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Get It Be...
Parking Wars on Facebook is just driving all of us nuts. Urban Legend Wifey is home all day reparking cars to get an extra badge and I tried so hard to keep my eyes open last night to get mine. Unfortunately, I couldn't take it any longer and slept like a baby, catching up on 40 thousand wink I lost for the past week. And because the notebook was on my bed, I accidentally kicked it during my sleep and it landed on the floor with the frame for the screen cracked open as though it's laughing in my face for playing too much Parking Wars. We have so become Parking Whores!
This blog is to make up for tomorrow since I'll be going for my peel and would be away from the office during the second half of the day. Strangely enough, all my clients have scheduled to see me on Friday which I've tried so hard to avoid since I'd be looking like a over cooked lobster and I can't afford to put on make up to conceal it. I have to forewarn them tomorrow that I'd been attending the meetings on Friday looking hilarious so they have to try really hard to stop themselves from laughing. Since Day 01 since I started work, I have never had to have 4 client meetings in one day and this Friday is going to be the first. And I'm going to look like a wreck. God, save me!
Potluck over at Urban Legend Wifey's place was fun as usual. Lampung Prince saw that I was very down and offered to give me one of his shy empty hug and I really appreciate that gesture. It's going to be so quiet after he leaves us this Saturday but not to worry, befre we know it, he'll be back. So much for wanting to pick up the ropes from his Dad, he'll only be only for stints of 2 months and he'll be back. What a bum!
Was telling Mrs Silver the Tan Yoong gown I saw on the website and her immediate "wedding planner" instincts just rang and told me she'll bring me to his shop one day. At the back of my mind I was thinking, "oh no please don't create more dreams and hopes that's beyong reach" but at the very same time, it's every girl's dream of looking like a princess. Maybe I can make up for the loss of the Oscar De La Renta dress I didn't buy in New York but getting something nice when my paycheck allows that to happen but I'm sure it's anything but for that special day. My rational side sat in pretty fast when Urban Legend Wifey told me she might be heading to Paris in May and immediately, the light bulb on top of my head lit up, I want my Louis Vuitton minus tax (haha!). Let's just forget about the dress and concentrate on the bags, every woman's weakness. My patent white Kate Spade is still sitting in Raffles City waiting for me...
In April, I'm going for a 9 days holiday! I can't wait, anxiously rubbing my hands together. My USD are waiting readily in my treasure chest and my bags aren't quite that packed but I'm ready to go. To dump all the unhappiness right here and go out there to loosen some tight shoulder muscles which have been taking on the weight of doubts at an absolutely insane level. Whatever will be, will be.
Que sera sera...
This blog is to make up for tomorrow since I'll be going for my peel and would be away from the office during the second half of the day. Strangely enough, all my clients have scheduled to see me on Friday which I've tried so hard to avoid since I'd be looking like a over cooked lobster and I can't afford to put on make up to conceal it. I have to forewarn them tomorrow that I'd been attending the meetings on Friday looking hilarious so they have to try really hard to stop themselves from laughing. Since Day 01 since I started work, I have never had to have 4 client meetings in one day and this Friday is going to be the first. And I'm going to look like a wreck. God, save me!
Potluck over at Urban Legend Wifey's place was fun as usual. Lampung Prince saw that I was very down and offered to give me one of his shy empty hug and I really appreciate that gesture. It's going to be so quiet after he leaves us this Saturday but not to worry, befre we know it, he'll be back. So much for wanting to pick up the ropes from his Dad, he'll only be only for stints of 2 months and he'll be back. What a bum!
Was telling Mrs Silver the Tan Yoong gown I saw on the website and her immediate "wedding planner" instincts just rang and told me she'll bring me to his shop one day. At the back of my mind I was thinking, "oh no please don't create more dreams and hopes that's beyong reach" but at the very same time, it's every girl's dream of looking like a princess. Maybe I can make up for the loss of the Oscar De La Renta dress I didn't buy in New York but getting something nice when my paycheck allows that to happen but I'm sure it's anything but for that special day. My rational side sat in pretty fast when Urban Legend Wifey told me she might be heading to Paris in May and immediately, the light bulb on top of my head lit up, I want my Louis Vuitton minus tax (haha!). Let's just forget about the dress and concentrate on the bags, every woman's weakness. My patent white Kate Spade is still sitting in Raffles City waiting for me...
In April, I'm going for a 9 days holiday! I can't wait, anxiously rubbing my hands together. My USD are waiting readily in my treasure chest and my bags aren't quite that packed but I'm ready to go. To dump all the unhappiness right here and go out there to loosen some tight shoulder muscles which have been taking on the weight of doubts at an absolutely insane level. Whatever will be, will be.
Que sera sera...
Heart "Attack"
Over the past couple of days, for things that is not within my control, I have been telling myself that I would have to stop stressing about it and leave it in better hands to deal with it. Life on the surface may seem alot more peaceful but every now and then, my heart pounds abnormally and my breathing speeds up. Not the way I would like normal life to be. I'm not having heart attack or high blood pressure, I just think too much. Ironically, it's not within my control and on an objective level, I'm still normal. It's high time I have better control over my life and not let the presence or unexplained disappearance of another person upset me. It's about time...
Let's just hope that the Pot Luck Farewell Lampung Prince party tonight can cheer me up a little and take my mind off things.
How should I react?
I just do not feel like talking...
Let's just hope that the Pot Luck Farewell Lampung Prince party tonight can cheer me up a little and take my mind off things.
How should I react?
I just do not feel like talking...
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Kiss Me...
It's been days since I last had a good night's sleep. Last night was of no exception. After A&E Quack left my place after a brief photoshoot session with my dog, I went straight to bed. I was constantly waking up and dreams filled up my sleep. I don't quite remember much details because I simply had too much dreams just in one night.
I have blogged this countless times but I can't help it but feel like I need to run back to where Grandma used to live and just enjoy the breeze with her in the backyard. Whenever I feel overloaded, I just want to run to the back of the house and cry. The last time I did that was on Grandma's funeral.
I just wanna tell her wherever she may be...
我爱上让我奋不顾身的一个人
我以为这就是我所追求的世界
然而横冲直撞被误解被骗
是否成人的世界背后总有残缺
我走在每天必须面对的分岔路
我怀念过去单纯美好的小幸福
爱总是让人哭
让人觉得不满足
天空很大却看不清楚
好孤独
As I sit here with my mind totally focused on work, I'm in fact very disoriented when it comes to how I should be feeling. Vulnerable is one word I would never like to use on myself. To see me shed tears is rare and most people probably wouldn't have the chance to experience this sight. People see me as chirpy, gleeful and bubbly but of a sudden, I feel too drained to put on a smile. I just want to sleep without those irritating dreams.
The kiss in the dream was comforting and to be able to see the face that's beyond reach was anything but a nightmare. Nevertheless, it is still a dream. I could stretch and reach... All I could feel is the dull breeze in the air that reminds me of how life is playing a trick on me.
All I wanna do is to go home...
But...
Where's home?
Kiss me out of the bearded barley
Nightly, beside the green, green grass
Swing, swing, swing the spinning step
You wear those shoes and I will wear that dress.
Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight
Lead me out on the moonlit floor
Lift your open hand
Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance
Silver moon's sparkling
So kiss me
Kiss me down by the broken tree house
Swing me upon its hanging tire
Bring, bring, bring your flowered hat
We'll take the trail marked on your father's map
I have blogged this countless times but I can't help it but feel like I need to run back to where Grandma used to live and just enjoy the breeze with her in the backyard. Whenever I feel overloaded, I just want to run to the back of the house and cry. The last time I did that was on Grandma's funeral.
I just wanna tell her wherever she may be...
我爱上让我奋不顾身的一个人
我以为这就是我所追求的世界
然而横冲直撞被误解被骗
是否成人的世界背后总有残缺
我走在每天必须面对的分岔路
我怀念过去单纯美好的小幸福
爱总是让人哭
让人觉得不满足
天空很大却看不清楚
好孤独
As I sit here with my mind totally focused on work, I'm in fact very disoriented when it comes to how I should be feeling. Vulnerable is one word I would never like to use on myself. To see me shed tears is rare and most people probably wouldn't have the chance to experience this sight. People see me as chirpy, gleeful and bubbly but of a sudden, I feel too drained to put on a smile. I just want to sleep without those irritating dreams.
The kiss in the dream was comforting and to be able to see the face that's beyond reach was anything but a nightmare. Nevertheless, it is still a dream. I could stretch and reach... All I could feel is the dull breeze in the air that reminds me of how life is playing a trick on me.
All I wanna do is to go home...
But...
Where's home?
Kiss me out of the bearded barley
Nightly, beside the green, green grass
Swing, swing, swing the spinning step
You wear those shoes and I will wear that dress.
Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight
Lead me out on the moonlit floor
Lift your open hand
Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance
Silver moon's sparkling
So kiss me
Kiss me down by the broken tree house
Swing me upon its hanging tire
Bring, bring, bring your flowered hat
We'll take the trail marked on your father's map
Monday, March 24, 2008
Politically Correct
It was utterly astonishing when I heard this story last night. Keep your eyes open for what you are about to read for the next 5 mins.
To protect the innocent, let's just say I heard this over the grapevine. The purpose is not to implicate anyone and I'm not in politics. It's like a coffeeshop story that I've heard and voicing my opinion on it.
There's no more subtle way to put it but this is regarding a tripartite alliance around us.
Most of us are aware that welfare is not the most common thing in Singapore. This is essentially a double edge sword. To have excessive welfare breeds lazy citizens and unhappy taxpayers but the lack of it create unhappiness with the public and more often than not, there are always groups of people not being well taken care of regardless of how much the tax payers are being "punished" for. Hence, "ambassadors" of the government gladly do certain things to keep some of the voters happy and satisfied. This story is about "welfare" I deem as unfair and potentially breeds a can of worms this "ambassador" opened.
If you have got $5 in your pocket that you intend to give it to someone who really needs it, would you give it to:
a. A 7 year old child who is attending school but is unable to buy lunch. You will not get the $5 back but will probably leave a significant mark in this child's life and que sera sera from there.
b. An elderly woman who needs calcium but is too poor to buy milk powder. She will not be able to return that $5 but it keeps her alive and healthy for a while more. That smile in itself, I must say it's priceless.
c. A young graduate with proper qualifications but not working at the moment. You will get this money back someday, be it in a whole sum or installment plans.
Who would you give the money to?
To me, the choice is clear. Choices a and b are contributive in nature. The 3rd one breeds the laziness you would not want in this society which was the very reason why we do not have an extensive welfare system in the first place. If you were to give money to him, you will just create more of these examples and once the flood gates are opened, it will be just too tough to close it back up. Singapore grew on this basis of very conservative plans and giving back to you the so called freedom and such bit by bit. This is just outrageously careless of the "ambassador". And if you haven't got it by now, the "ambassador" chose to provide this unemployed young chap with money.
Haven't we all learn to teach a man to fish since we were young? We should be helping them help themselves and not be feeding these lazy pigs. Pardon the language but I can't find a better word to describe these people. Feel free to blame it on my language inability and right now, I do not wish to dwell into our meritocracy system which led to what I had gone through during my schooling days.
You are the taxpayer and ultimately, you have the voting rights. Decide what you want to do because with that vote in your hands, there's alot you can do. Very truthfully, I am myself a supporter of the incumbent because I know I'm blessed just to be right here and be able to walk on the streets safely. There are parts of the system that I'm unhappy with but on a general level, I'm contented and will be happy to bring up my kids in this environment. Despite so, these "ambassadors" should think before they do things which may appear to be trying too hard to please one person or a group of people and for that matter of fact, they should think of the consequences in long term and the awful can of worms that they may have unknowingly opened. I want to be able to help everyone but there are different ways to help these people and on top of which, this is not a perfect world so don't attempt to solve everyone's problem there and there. Think: Consequences.
To protect the innocent, let's just say I heard this over the grapevine. The purpose is not to implicate anyone and I'm not in politics. It's like a coffeeshop story that I've heard and voicing my opinion on it.
There's no more subtle way to put it but this is regarding a tripartite alliance around us.
Most of us are aware that welfare is not the most common thing in Singapore. This is essentially a double edge sword. To have excessive welfare breeds lazy citizens and unhappy taxpayers but the lack of it create unhappiness with the public and more often than not, there are always groups of people not being well taken care of regardless of how much the tax payers are being "punished" for. Hence, "ambassadors" of the government gladly do certain things to keep some of the voters happy and satisfied. This story is about "welfare" I deem as unfair and potentially breeds a can of worms this "ambassador" opened.
If you have got $5 in your pocket that you intend to give it to someone who really needs it, would you give it to:
a. A 7 year old child who is attending school but is unable to buy lunch. You will not get the $5 back but will probably leave a significant mark in this child's life and que sera sera from there.
b. An elderly woman who needs calcium but is too poor to buy milk powder. She will not be able to return that $5 but it keeps her alive and healthy for a while more. That smile in itself, I must say it's priceless.
c. A young graduate with proper qualifications but not working at the moment. You will get this money back someday, be it in a whole sum or installment plans.
Who would you give the money to?
To me, the choice is clear. Choices a and b are contributive in nature. The 3rd one breeds the laziness you would not want in this society which was the very reason why we do not have an extensive welfare system in the first place. If you were to give money to him, you will just create more of these examples and once the flood gates are opened, it will be just too tough to close it back up. Singapore grew on this basis of very conservative plans and giving back to you the so called freedom and such bit by bit. This is just outrageously careless of the "ambassador". And if you haven't got it by now, the "ambassador" chose to provide this unemployed young chap with money.
Haven't we all learn to teach a man to fish since we were young? We should be helping them help themselves and not be feeding these lazy pigs. Pardon the language but I can't find a better word to describe these people. Feel free to blame it on my language inability and right now, I do not wish to dwell into our meritocracy system which led to what I had gone through during my schooling days.
You are the taxpayer and ultimately, you have the voting rights. Decide what you want to do because with that vote in your hands, there's alot you can do. Very truthfully, I am myself a supporter of the incumbent because I know I'm blessed just to be right here and be able to walk on the streets safely. There are parts of the system that I'm unhappy with but on a general level, I'm contented and will be happy to bring up my kids in this environment. Despite so, these "ambassadors" should think before they do things which may appear to be trying too hard to please one person or a group of people and for that matter of fact, they should think of the consequences in long term and the awful can of worms that they may have unknowingly opened. I want to be able to help everyone but there are different ways to help these people and on top of which, this is not a perfect world so don't attempt to solve everyone's problem there and there. Think: Consequences.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Breathe In... Breathe Out...
It is almost a miracle what I heard today. It's unbelievable how comfortable I feel right now - Totally at peace.
Fact is temporal but truth is eternal.
Tomorrow will be better!
Fact is temporal but truth is eternal.
Tomorrow will be better!
Saturday, March 22, 2008
疯了
Was with A&E Quack in his car one day and he played this song by OneRepublic for me...
Do you know where your heart is?
Do you think you can find it?
Or did you trade it for something
Somewhere better just to have it?
Do you know where your love is?
Do you think that you lost it?
You felt it so strong, but
Nothing's turned out how you wanted
Well, bless my soul
You're a lonely soul
Cause you won't let go
Of anything you hold
Well, all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head
Do you know what your fate is?
And are you trying to shake it?
You're doing your best and
Your best look
You're praying that you make it
Well, bless my soul
You're a lonely soul
Cause you won't let go
Of anything you hold
Well, all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head
I said I all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Better than you had it
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Yeah, better than you had it (Better than you had it)
I said I all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head
I said I all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head
Whenever the end is
Do you think you can see it?
Well, until you get there
Go on, go ahead and scream it
Just say it
Maybe I just need a place to rest my head.
Got an email from Comedy Boss a few days back when my mind was wavering between some decisions. For most people, they would be happy to receive such an email. I must say it was below my expectations and given that something possibly brighter awaits me, I wasn't thrilled. Having said so, I have my reservations and given my conservative nature in terms of my work and my progression, I will have to put much more thought into this whole thing and not make a rash decision. There are pros and cons. Basically, I do not like changes. In certain circumstances, if the pull is too tempting, I have no choice but to consider other options. In the short run, I will be able to have a better lifestyle. While contemplating if that will emerge into a long run benefit, I have my doubts. The world is cruel and I will have to learn it the hard way. In some ways, I'm rather sheltered from the extreme evils of this world but yet, I know I will need to put in crazy efforts no matter where I'll end up. The glass ceiling that I'm feeling is likely the reason why I'm looking for change. There are times that it may seem that complacency has taken hold of the better of me. In actual fact, I'm just thinking if I should continue to be a warrior in a familiar environment or be a ruthless warrior in an entirely new territory. Of course with risk, the benefit is there to be reaped. Well, guess I will know very soon as to how attractive the pull will be. Right now, I'll stay being a "career prude".
The Night Drive on Thursday and Kulai Carbon Clearing Drive + Dinner did take my mind off some things. Like how some of my friends may have noticed, my usually faulty mute button was working perfectly fine and I wasn't quite myself. I want to be able to let go and enjoy myself but it's tough. With Urban Legend Wifey's help in her major plan to keep my mind occupied, we're going to have another PotLuck + Wii session coming Wednesday and although it's a work day on Thursday, everyone seemed to entertain the idea and is giving me a good opportunity to wind down. Drinks tonight to welcome Summer back will probably help me let my not so long hair down and go mad. And come tomorrow, I'll be a good girl and I'll be attending for my first Easter service in about 2 years. I still can recall when I was in Senior Sunday School, we used to spend Friday night in church after after dark service and choir practice with Lazarus Unwound would be the highlight for the weekend. Watching stars on the rooftop and waking up without a voice are just common for such a weekend. By Sunday, we will usually be flat out but somehow, we can always find more energy to play games after Easter service. Come to think of it, that was about 10 years back. Goodness, how time has just flew past without us realising.
我想我疯了
不开灯我不要开灯
我身边容不下别的人
不锁门我不要锁门
你回来是一种可能
我那么的认真
去思考你对我的认真
或许是多么伤害人
而结论始终是疑问
我爱疯了
我疯到自己痛也不晓得
放弃了保护自己的责任
放弃了抵抗脆弱的天份
To end this note in the weirdest way ever, I'm feeling really glad for Taiwan's economy because Ma Ying Jou has just won the elections!!!
Do you know where your heart is?
Do you think you can find it?
Or did you trade it for something
Somewhere better just to have it?
Do you know where your love is?
Do you think that you lost it?
You felt it so strong, but
Nothing's turned out how you wanted
Well, bless my soul
You're a lonely soul
Cause you won't let go
Of anything you hold
Well, all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head
Do you know what your fate is?
And are you trying to shake it?
You're doing your best and
Your best look
You're praying that you make it
Well, bless my soul
You're a lonely soul
Cause you won't let go
Of anything you hold
Well, all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head
I said I all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Better than you had it
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Yeah, better than you had it (Better than you had it)
I said I all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head
I said I all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head
Whenever the end is
Do you think you can see it?
Well, until you get there
Go on, go ahead and scream it
Just say it
Maybe I just need a place to rest my head.
Got an email from Comedy Boss a few days back when my mind was wavering between some decisions. For most people, they would be happy to receive such an email. I must say it was below my expectations and given that something possibly brighter awaits me, I wasn't thrilled. Having said so, I have my reservations and given my conservative nature in terms of my work and my progression, I will have to put much more thought into this whole thing and not make a rash decision. There are pros and cons. Basically, I do not like changes. In certain circumstances, if the pull is too tempting, I have no choice but to consider other options. In the short run, I will be able to have a better lifestyle. While contemplating if that will emerge into a long run benefit, I have my doubts. The world is cruel and I will have to learn it the hard way. In some ways, I'm rather sheltered from the extreme evils of this world but yet, I know I will need to put in crazy efforts no matter where I'll end up. The glass ceiling that I'm feeling is likely the reason why I'm looking for change. There are times that it may seem that complacency has taken hold of the better of me. In actual fact, I'm just thinking if I should continue to be a warrior in a familiar environment or be a ruthless warrior in an entirely new territory. Of course with risk, the benefit is there to be reaped. Well, guess I will know very soon as to how attractive the pull will be. Right now, I'll stay being a "career prude".
The Night Drive on Thursday and Kulai Carbon Clearing Drive + Dinner did take my mind off some things. Like how some of my friends may have noticed, my usually faulty mute button was working perfectly fine and I wasn't quite myself. I want to be able to let go and enjoy myself but it's tough. With Urban Legend Wifey's help in her major plan to keep my mind occupied, we're going to have another PotLuck + Wii session coming Wednesday and although it's a work day on Thursday, everyone seemed to entertain the idea and is giving me a good opportunity to wind down. Drinks tonight to welcome Summer back will probably help me let my not so long hair down and go mad. And come tomorrow, I'll be a good girl and I'll be attending for my first Easter service in about 2 years. I still can recall when I was in Senior Sunday School, we used to spend Friday night in church after after dark service and choir practice with Lazarus Unwound would be the highlight for the weekend. Watching stars on the rooftop and waking up without a voice are just common for such a weekend. By Sunday, we will usually be flat out but somehow, we can always find more energy to play games after Easter service. Come to think of it, that was about 10 years back. Goodness, how time has just flew past without us realising.
我想我疯了
不开灯我不要开灯
我身边容不下别的人
不锁门我不要锁门
你回来是一种可能
我那么的认真
去思考你对我的认真
或许是多么伤害人
而结论始终是疑问
我爱疯了
我疯到自己痛也不晓得
放弃了保护自己的责任
放弃了抵抗脆弱的天份
To end this note in the weirdest way ever, I'm feeling really glad for Taiwan's economy because Ma Ying Jou has just won the elections!!!
So Long? So Long...
Happy Birthday.
I can't bring myself to say anything anymore. I'm just too tired. Enjoy your holiday.
I can't bring myself to say anything anymore. I'm just too tired. Enjoy your holiday.
Friday, March 21, 2008
对爱的信仰是一辈子信仰
I drafted an email yesterday. I sent it. The unease did not end after I clicked on "Send". Deep down inside me, I'm hoping that you didn't lie and everything is going to be fine. I'm told some things men do can't be trusted. I tell my friends the exact same thing. But I'm unable to bring myself out of the picture. The song that kept me with anticipation on my flight back from New York is now ringing in my head together with the phone ringing and not getting picked up. I do not like this. Worry may be my friend but right now, it's driving me nuts. All I wanted was plain honesty.
How could one leave so much doubts yet hope that everything will be fine?
If there's so much to hide, why bother walking further?
我可以为你挡死你说要不要
胸口烫的伤我一人都来扛
没什么我不敢
别说我不敢
可以为你挡死你知不知道
对爱的信仰是一辈子信仰
不会间断
算牵不到你的手我也无憾
就让我祝福你一切无恙
只要让我祝福你一切无恙
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Sore Thumb
你还记得吗记忆的炎夏
散落在风中的已蒸发
喧哗的都已沙哑
没结果的花未完成的牵挂
我们学会许多说法
来掩饰不碰的伤疤
因为我会想起你
我害怕面对自己
我的意志总被寂寞吞食
因为你总会提醒
过去总不会过去
有种真爱不是我的
假如我不曾爱你
我不会失去自己
想念的刺钉住我的位置
因为你总会提醒
尽管我得到世界
有些幸福不是我的
你还记得吗记忆的炎夏
我终于没选择的分岔
最后又有谁到达
You don't have to blink 2000 times and yes it's in the wee hours and I'm having trouble sleeping. It used to be common in my MapleStory days that I'm still awake at this hour but I know tomorrow is just going to be a killer for me and I'll be a zombie during the night drive. I can't help me. On the way to dinner last night, Lampung Prince drove past The Trumps along Kembangan and I remarked how I think it's a beautiful place. He disagreed and said it stuck out like a sore thumb among the surrounding architecture. I replied "maybe it's just like me, sticking out like a sore thumb, but I like..."
With a tear running down face without even trying, the silence and cold breeze in this early morning seems to carry a tinge of melancholiness in it. I need to breathe...
There weren't any rhyme or reason that you're going but you are. You won't be gone but I wish I knew why you are going. It seems like you're going so far away and it's barely the distance that created such a feeling. It's the willingness to share or lack thereof. I'm left out and am sticking out like a sore thumb, trying to figure how how long can this sore thumb last.
Why do people shy away from sore thumbs and are you running away from it?
I still don't have the reason
And you don't have the time
And it really makes me wonder
If I ever gave a fuck about you
散落在风中的已蒸发
喧哗的都已沙哑
没结果的花未完成的牵挂
我们学会许多说法
来掩饰不碰的伤疤
因为我会想起你
我害怕面对自己
我的意志总被寂寞吞食
因为你总会提醒
过去总不会过去
有种真爱不是我的
假如我不曾爱你
我不会失去自己
想念的刺钉住我的位置
因为你总会提醒
尽管我得到世界
有些幸福不是我的
你还记得吗记忆的炎夏
我终于没选择的分岔
最后又有谁到达
You don't have to blink 2000 times and yes it's in the wee hours and I'm having trouble sleeping. It used to be common in my MapleStory days that I'm still awake at this hour but I know tomorrow is just going to be a killer for me and I'll be a zombie during the night drive. I can't help me. On the way to dinner last night, Lampung Prince drove past The Trumps along Kembangan and I remarked how I think it's a beautiful place. He disagreed and said it stuck out like a sore thumb among the surrounding architecture. I replied "maybe it's just like me, sticking out like a sore thumb, but I like..."
With a tear running down face without even trying, the silence and cold breeze in this early morning seems to carry a tinge of melancholiness in it. I need to breathe...
There weren't any rhyme or reason that you're going but you are. You won't be gone but I wish I knew why you are going. It seems like you're going so far away and it's barely the distance that created such a feeling. It's the willingness to share or lack thereof. I'm left out and am sticking out like a sore thumb, trying to figure how how long can this sore thumb last.
Why do people shy away from sore thumbs and are you running away from it?
I still don't have the reason
And you don't have the time
And it really makes me wonder
If I ever gave a fuck about you
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Why Does Every Moment Have To Be So Hard?
I'm disillusioned. What is happening to my life and why am I allowing myself to feel upset at all? I thought all I need was my horlicks ice cream with gummi bears and short bread but I didn't actually enjoyed it. It tasted bland and all I wanted to do is to go home and hide under my blanket, the refuge I go to cocooning myself further into self protection auto mechanism. My limbs are sticky from the perspiration and still cold from the anger. My snuffles sends me into fits of breathlessness but I am not crying. I'm not allowing myself to do so. All I want is to see my Grandma and be her little girl again. I just want to kick my legs and demand to have things done my way only to realise, I am not going to get things my way and life is such. I should have learnt this myself. I feel like I'm the silliest person in the world, doing all the craziest things that people don't see and don't care. Everyone just walks in and out of my life and I'm so totally dispensable. Although my advice to most people is that no one is indispensable in this world but this just feels wrong. My presence seems to be in excess of what this world needs and wants. Who would even realise if I disappear one day? I just want to scream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
但愿天空
不再挂满湿的泪
但愿天空
不再涂上灰的脸
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Kate Spader
Last night was a night of girly catching up with Attituder. Our topics went from work to family to men to hopes & dreams to in-laws to parents... It felt fabulous. Dinner was at this Marche like Japanese joint over at Raffles' City and we ran into Hong Kong actress but currently based in Singapore, Suet Kar Yin (Hao Yi). Hao Yi was pretty much from my Mom's days and hit to stardom for the second time, after her failed marriage, in Kindred Spirit, a Hong Kong TV serial that went on for years. It wasn't the aura or glamour that caught our eye but she looked very much like our common friend, Jewell with that "watermelon head" retro hairstyle. We could help but took several glances adn she must be thinking that we're starstruck high school girls. We did behave like one except that we were shopping like tai-tais. Or rather, window shopping.
Before dinner, we got stuck at Kate Spade in Raffles City for the longest time ever. She was attracted to a signature green diaper bag and my eyes and hands were glued on a all white reflective patent stevie bag. If there's anything on my wishlist now, it's that particular bag. Over dinner, both of us just stared blankly into space and I knew she was thinking of her bright green bag and my mind was fixated on the white beauty I was minutes ago. We just looked at each other and laughed realising how girly we both are.
Absolutely beautiful in patent white.
Anyway, a bomb just dropped on me and my hands are freezing cold. I can barely type...
Before dinner, we got stuck at Kate Spade in Raffles City for the longest time ever. She was attracted to a signature green diaper bag and my eyes and hands were glued on a all white reflective patent stevie bag. If there's anything on my wishlist now, it's that particular bag. Over dinner, both of us just stared blankly into space and I knew she was thinking of her bright green bag and my mind was fixated on the white beauty I was minutes ago. We just looked at each other and laughed realising how girly we both are.
Absolutely beautiful in patent white.
Anyway, a bomb just dropped on me and my hands are freezing cold. I can barely type...
Monday, March 17, 2008
Uneventful, Unexciting and Unfulfilled Monday
Woke up early this morning because I managed to get to bed early last night. Wobbled my way into the office, had my breakfast and prepared for the meeting that I've been waiting for the entire week to happen. Took a cab down to SGX and found my way up and stood outside the door waiting for someone to walk past. I called the extension several times and all I got to was a mailbox that's full so I couldn't quite get the person I was supposed to meet. After 10 minutes, some kind soul walked past and asked if I needed Assistance. But of course! She then went in to locate the person whom I was supposed to meet but came back with another person. This second person then made em wait for another 10 minutes before coming back with an apology and told me that my client is on medical leave and would not be coming in today. I would think she has the courtesy to call me since she has got my mobile number but apparently, it must have slipped her mind. To be absolutely honest, I can't be really angry as for one, she's a client and two, it's Monday so medical leave's like the most common thing and people do conveniently forget that they have meetings. It was a break for me to get out of the office but towards the end of the quarter, I really want to spend more time in the office doing what I should and hope to meet the numbers.
Lunch in Raffles Place is such a bothersome affair. I'm actively recruiting for lunch buddies working in this area! In order to skip the insane crowd, preferred lunch hour is actually after 2pm but by then, I would have died of hunger. To walk into Chevron House with music blasting isn't exactly the best wind down from the stressful office environment. Most importantly, I hate queues well then again, who doesn't. It's almost 2pm and I'm still undecided as to my lunch plans. Bad! Very bad! Time to take a stroll...
Lunch in Raffles Place is such a bothersome affair. I'm actively recruiting for lunch buddies working in this area! In order to skip the insane crowd, preferred lunch hour is actually after 2pm but by then, I would have died of hunger. To walk into Chevron House with music blasting isn't exactly the best wind down from the stressful office environment. Most importantly, I hate queues well then again, who doesn't. It's almost 2pm and I'm still undecided as to my lunch plans. Bad! Very bad! Time to take a stroll...
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Party Animals
New ad will be up tomorrow so please be kind and support my advertisers. Last night was a crazy night out with the bunch of boys. A&E Quack brought a bunch of his doctor friends and the usual party animals. First stop was Lunar @ Clarke Quay. Initially, the discomfort of going into a red plush Cantopop club lingers through out every limb until we finally got more decent music and with the right amount of alcohol, we were soon dancing and singing along to music that ranged from trance to house to retro and of course Cantopop. Everyone was trying to get A&E Quack down so everything from Flaming Lamborghinis to Waterfalls were served. He was almost totally knocked out when we left Lunar for Dragonfly @ St James.
The moment we got into St James, we lost A&E Quack and Urban Legend Wifey was so worried, I actually saw tears. The boys went several rounds to look for him but came back empty handed. After a couple of hours later, one of Milk's friend actually told us that A&E Quack left and told him earlier. We almost strangled Milk's friend.
We left St James for Kallang McDonald's for breakfast in 2 separate cars. Instinctively, I pick Cabdriver's car over Butcher's. At Fort Road exit, Butcher was stopped and eventually, got brought back to Ubi for drunk driving. He will be charged at the end of this month and I hope he'll be fine. Cabdriver lived up to his name and drive the girls back and by the time I went to bed, I actually saw daylight. When I removed my contact lenses, I was doing some mental calculations and was sure that I had them on for around 24 hours. It's been really long since I last partied so hard but I must say, it was fun and I really enjoyed it.
The moment we got into St James, we lost A&E Quack and Urban Legend Wifey was so worried, I actually saw tears. The boys went several rounds to look for him but came back empty handed. After a couple of hours later, one of Milk's friend actually told us that A&E Quack left and told him earlier. We almost strangled Milk's friend.
We left St James for Kallang McDonald's for breakfast in 2 separate cars. Instinctively, I pick Cabdriver's car over Butcher's. At Fort Road exit, Butcher was stopped and eventually, got brought back to Ubi for drunk driving. He will be charged at the end of this month and I hope he'll be fine. Cabdriver lived up to his name and drive the girls back and by the time I went to bed, I actually saw daylight. When I removed my contact lenses, I was doing some mental calculations and was sure that I had them on for around 24 hours. It's been really long since I last partied so hard but I must say, it was fun and I really enjoyed it.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Late Wedding Bells
The wedding feast of a secondary school classmate of mine was held last night which happens to be the 3rd wedding this year among the group. All of them are guys, except for another girlie. One of the guys married another classmate, another is divorced and rest of them are either engaged, married or on honeymoon. Was chatting with Empress Dowager Yappie, discussing if women really fret at our age when left on the shelf. The answer was no. We're all matured, financially independent girls and we don't necessarily need to get tied down by "more troubles". But as the conversation progress, we began to see the emptiness in each other, longing to have someone by our side. Not so much going into a marriage or in most cases with our friends, rushing into it. It's about finding someone who can and will be there for you and to be willing to spend the rest of their lives with you. Some people get themselves in mess after mess and others fret too much to get into anything near an entanglement. I must say that I was really touched by the speech given by the groom last night. We can feel the sincerity and his willingness to take care of the bride all his life and knowing him, if there are no big screw up, we do see them last a lifetime. As we were leaving, I could see the changed man in him, the married man. You could really see it in his eyes, he's ready for bigger things in life. I'm genuinely happy for him.
On a totally separate note though still revolving around the wedding dinner that took place last night, why do people not turn up on time and RSVP ahead. The bride texted everyone at least twice over the past week to remind all her guests. Dinner was meant to commence at 7.30pm but dinner started at 9pm. Don't people have any sense for being on time. Isn't punctuality at these wedding dinners the main issue people talk about time and again? So why aren't Singaporeans bringing out their business and professional side and be on time? It's not as if we don't have any clocks in this country. How can we ever be a first-class nation? Ex-Sir's Sir was telling me about this wedding over the weekend went by military precision. I know the bride and the groom and most importantly, all his "brothers". All officers so what do you expect? but minimum requirement for normal PEASANTS like us will still be ARRIVING ON TIME.
An ideal wedding means different things to everyone. It's tough to keep it small when you have got gigantic, super-extended Chinese family. Most people split them up these days but general feedback is to keep things in one day and get done and over with it. Forewarn the helpers that they probably need 3 days MC to recuperate after your wedding. But on this day, you will know who are your real buddies and the fairweather ones.
It was kinda hilarious when Empress Dowager Yappie reminded me of a possible convey on my special day which wouldn't be anytime in the near future and the likelihood of needing to colour-code them. It was fun being super girlie and have dreams although I was dog tired when I went back last night. Empress Dowager Yappie, drinks tonight?
On a totally separate note though still revolving around the wedding dinner that took place last night, why do people not turn up on time and RSVP ahead. The bride texted everyone at least twice over the past week to remind all her guests. Dinner was meant to commence at 7.30pm but dinner started at 9pm. Don't people have any sense for being on time. Isn't punctuality at these wedding dinners the main issue people talk about time and again? So why aren't Singaporeans bringing out their business and professional side and be on time? It's not as if we don't have any clocks in this country. How can we ever be a first-class nation? Ex-Sir's Sir was telling me about this wedding over the weekend went by military precision. I know the bride and the groom and most importantly, all his "brothers". All officers so what do you expect? but minimum requirement for normal PEASANTS like us will still be ARRIVING ON TIME.
An ideal wedding means different things to everyone. It's tough to keep it small when you have got gigantic, super-extended Chinese family. Most people split them up these days but general feedback is to keep things in one day and get done and over with it. Forewarn the helpers that they probably need 3 days MC to recuperate after your wedding. But on this day, you will know who are your real buddies and the fairweather ones.
It was kinda hilarious when Empress Dowager Yappie reminded me of a possible convey on my special day which wouldn't be anytime in the near future and the likelihood of needing to colour-code them. It was fun being super girlie and have dreams although I was dog tired when I went back last night. Empress Dowager Yappie, drinks tonight?
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Life Is Short
I'll stop the world and melt with you
You've seen the difference and
It's getting better all the time
There's nothing you and I won't do
I'll stop the world and melt with you
If your partner is bankrupt, disabled or sentenced to do time, would you stay by him?
If your friend's partner is bankrupt, disabled or sentenced to do time, how would you advise her to do?
To have and to hold, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish 'till death do us part.
These words, do they actually carry the weight or are they mere words?
'till death do us part. Easier said than done. It's a fantasy, it's every girls dream to walk down the beach at dusk with your partner when you're old and gray. It's romantic. Is it possible? Besides things in life we can't predict, would men and women these days stay faithful? Life is just so short so why can't people do just that? Isn't it an absolute bliss to wake up to that chiselled face and morning breathe and be rushing off to work the very next minute as you realise you're late for work? Would people get bored after a couple of years of such life? Simple pleasures in life are usually taken for granted by most of us. We all have priorities, preferences and we procrastinate within our limited time.
Have you ever sat down and wonder if you would be happier if life is just simpler and you can actually make it happen with your bare hands? We waste time getting upset with petty things and forget that the most important thing in life is just within reach. Life is just too short for us to squander without much thought. Every minute passes us by and we will never be able to retrieve it so work your sums and give the people who are important to you, the love and attention they deserve and long for. We make the world a happier place by being happy creatures ourselves. Make it happen!
You've seen the difference and
It's getting better all the time
There's nothing you and I won't do
I'll stop the world and melt with you
If your partner is bankrupt, disabled or sentenced to do time, would you stay by him?
If your friend's partner is bankrupt, disabled or sentenced to do time, how would you advise her to do?
To have and to hold, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish 'till death do us part.
These words, do they actually carry the weight or are they mere words?
'till death do us part. Easier said than done. It's a fantasy, it's every girls dream to walk down the beach at dusk with your partner when you're old and gray. It's romantic. Is it possible? Besides things in life we can't predict, would men and women these days stay faithful? Life is just so short so why can't people do just that? Isn't it an absolute bliss to wake up to that chiselled face and morning breathe and be rushing off to work the very next minute as you realise you're late for work? Would people get bored after a couple of years of such life? Simple pleasures in life are usually taken for granted by most of us. We all have priorities, preferences and we procrastinate within our limited time.
Have you ever sat down and wonder if you would be happier if life is just simpler and you can actually make it happen with your bare hands? We waste time getting upset with petty things and forget that the most important thing in life is just within reach. Life is just too short for us to squander without much thought. Every minute passes us by and we will never be able to retrieve it so work your sums and give the people who are important to you, the love and attention they deserve and long for. We make the world a happier place by being happy creatures ourselves. Make it happen!
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Stay The Same
The gloomy thunderous day seemed to have blasted any smiles out of the way. Everyone seems to be bothered with things from all aspects of their lives. For myself, I just hit a new low without knowing why. Of a sudden, I became the most pessimistic person but then again, it is not beyond me to be absolutely negative. Wednesday being the usual mid-week drinks night, I was yawning by the time I was just 10% into my beer and all I wanted to do is to get home and prepare for my early morning meeting. Numbers for this quarter are far from satisfactory and no matter how I try to bury myself with impossible amount of work, I can't seem to work any miracle. Some part of me just couldn't be bothered because if I've done what I can, I can't possibly do more. On another hand, I just wanna keep working so that my mind contains nothing else than just work. This is not working. Whenever I drain myself out, all I want is to go home and cry my lungs out. Not to worry you silly things out there, I haven't been depressed or sobbing endless streams of tears, I just breathe really hard and think of useless things. But the good side of this, I actually know for a fact that they are useless. All I need is a reassuring voice to tell me that things are going to be just fine. How gullible can one get?
Job satisfaction is something not everyone will get to enjoy day in day out. I always tell my candidates how much I love my job. I do. But there are times when I feel that maybe I should be doing something else. Today is one of those times. Though at the close of the day, I know this is what i want to do for a career and I know for sure that I could possibly build something huge out of this. This is pretty much a toiling period and once the seasons passes, harvest will come one day. With the right personality and gaining more knowledge by the day, I know I will have extraordinary results. It may not be the numbers but the level of satisfaction and enjoyment. I know I will get there some day just being myself and not get swayed by meeting KPIs and immediate monetary benefits. There are just too much things in life that are more important than just having a pocket full of cash. It is crucial to live your life the way you want it to be. Life will be like what Infamous "Asian Hero" William Hung famous words, "I have no regrets!"
Job satisfaction is something not everyone will get to enjoy day in day out. I always tell my candidates how much I love my job. I do. But there are times when I feel that maybe I should be doing something else. Today is one of those times. Though at the close of the day, I know this is what i want to do for a career and I know for sure that I could possibly build something huge out of this. This is pretty much a toiling period and once the seasons passes, harvest will come one day. With the right personality and gaining more knowledge by the day, I know I will have extraordinary results. It may not be the numbers but the level of satisfaction and enjoyment. I know I will get there some day just being myself and not get swayed by meeting KPIs and immediate monetary benefits. There are just too much things in life that are more important than just having a pocket full of cash. It is crucial to live your life the way you want it to be. Life will be like what Infamous "Asian Hero" William Hung famous words, "I have no regrets!"
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Same Shit Different Day, Clear Conscience Everyday
It's amazing how some people shed their mask after the relationship wears out. I wonder how can some people change from angels to monsters and do things of depth we can never as normal human being fathom no matter how driven one can get by jealousy. Time in a relationship is supposed to give it depth and value, not hatred and pain. Some resulting actions are a direct or indirect cause of their very own voluntary action. Why do these people not get it?
Life is too short for us to go in circles and waste precious time. For every minute that you're spending away creating more pain, it creates a ripple effect of endless circles of people concerned and involved in the problem in itself. Why don't these people see that by moving on, everyone will be happier? I do agree that emotions are not pencil marks and can't be easily erased but to scar someone else to make yourself feel better is never ever going to work because you know it in yourself that this is not going to make you feel any better. Once you've ruined someone else's future, your conscience will one day pay for it. Nothing beats living life with a clear conscience and only by doing so, we can bring a genuine smile to continue the next step in life. At least I know when I see my kids playing by the playground in 10 years time, that is not a result of me ruining the life of someone I once loved. Why make the life of someone else miserable when you are destroying your own in the process? We're not young anymore and it's weird to say this to someone much older than myself but c'mon, it's time to grow up.
Be it a grass-cutter or toilet-cleaner, once a friend always a friend. If you have got what it takes, you don't need the world to determine what you are or who you are, you are what you are. And you know very well, you can take on the world. Do not let small setbacks upset you. Life is a long journey ahead and we always have to gear ourselves for a better tomorrow. Keep your conscience clear and your life will be happier than the stone that created the ripple.
Life is too short for us to go in circles and waste precious time. For every minute that you're spending away creating more pain, it creates a ripple effect of endless circles of people concerned and involved in the problem in itself. Why don't these people see that by moving on, everyone will be happier? I do agree that emotions are not pencil marks and can't be easily erased but to scar someone else to make yourself feel better is never ever going to work because you know it in yourself that this is not going to make you feel any better. Once you've ruined someone else's future, your conscience will one day pay for it. Nothing beats living life with a clear conscience and only by doing so, we can bring a genuine smile to continue the next step in life. At least I know when I see my kids playing by the playground in 10 years time, that is not a result of me ruining the life of someone I once loved. Why make the life of someone else miserable when you are destroying your own in the process? We're not young anymore and it's weird to say this to someone much older than myself but c'mon, it's time to grow up.
Be it a grass-cutter or toilet-cleaner, once a friend always a friend. If you have got what it takes, you don't need the world to determine what you are or who you are, you are what you are. And you know very well, you can take on the world. Do not let small setbacks upset you. Life is a long journey ahead and we always have to gear ourselves for a better tomorrow. Keep your conscience clear and your life will be happier than the stone that created the ripple.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Hopes And Dreams... And Patience
It's one of those mood swings you might have to put up with so don't go away and keep your eyes glued, though I've got nothing fabbo for you to read. I don't exactly know the cause of it but I'm in a crappy mood. Could be a combination of things but I won't speculate or be bothered to dissect myself. Gloomy... That's right.
Managed to catch The Leap Years with Mao Meen last week. From a very selfish point of view, I enjoyed the movie because I could relate to what it was trying to say.
Synopsis:
Some years ago, while conducting an English language workshop on a hot, dreary afternoon for a large group of students in Singapore, I suddenly felt sorry for them, and decided to tell them a story. It was a romantic love story calculated to make any sixteen-year-old sit up and listen with full attention. I told them about a young Singaporean girl who unexpectedly meets her dream man on a special day - 29 February 1988 - when a quaint old Leap Year custom allows women to make the first move in a romantic encounter. Our heroine does precisely that. Hereafter she and the dream man, both exceptionally attractive and brimming with life's hopes and dreams, are caught in a dizzying spin of events that Fate seems to like visiting upon young lovers. "You will come together at last. But not yet, not yet," says Fate mischievously.
The lovers meet every 29 February over 12 years, in breathless negotiations of the many pitfalls along the path of true love which has never run smooth anyway, before their hopes are finally fulfilled in a spectacular millennial culmination worthy of love's loftiest dreams.
"You will come together at last. But not yet, not yet," says Fate mischievously.
The story line stirred me right to the last bone. People need to be patient and wait just to find true love, what is meant for you, all long written in our fate. As much as fate is something that I have doubts about, I don't question the fact that we all need to be patient waiting for the right moment to come. It's all fiction which is exactly why the girl could wait for 12 solid years. In reality, the scene whereby the girl finally married an excellent catch would have came much earlier. As romantic as anyone can be, no one will wait 4 years just for the second date. When Wong Li Lin finally lied to him and told her she's got a kid, I can imagine this exact scene in real life except that it's not a lie, this person could possibly be married and be holding a real 2 year old kid in her arms.
Waiting is painful and it drives people nuts but like the story, we all buy it because we're all hopeless romantics believing in finding true love. Different people has different threshold and capacity for being patient. I never knew I can be so weightlessly patient. Maybe not that light but it wasn't as painful as before. I suppose with sufficient faith, anything can happen. But that doesn't automatically qualify that there's no cap to that. I'm not the most efficient person but I work by deadlines. Datelines are either determined by someone with specific spoken dates or emotional scales. But what is my dateline? Be patient and my storyline will be revealed in time to come. The pen is ready... Waiting for the right book to appear. Be it the one on the shelf or brand new one from Prints, it waits to be seen. Call me naive but I still believe in true love... I do...
Managed to catch The Leap Years with Mao Meen last week. From a very selfish point of view, I enjoyed the movie because I could relate to what it was trying to say.
Synopsis:
Some years ago, while conducting an English language workshop on a hot, dreary afternoon for a large group of students in Singapore, I suddenly felt sorry for them, and decided to tell them a story. It was a romantic love story calculated to make any sixteen-year-old sit up and listen with full attention. I told them about a young Singaporean girl who unexpectedly meets her dream man on a special day - 29 February 1988 - when a quaint old Leap Year custom allows women to make the first move in a romantic encounter. Our heroine does precisely that. Hereafter she and the dream man, both exceptionally attractive and brimming with life's hopes and dreams, are caught in a dizzying spin of events that Fate seems to like visiting upon young lovers. "You will come together at last. But not yet, not yet," says Fate mischievously.
The lovers meet every 29 February over 12 years, in breathless negotiations of the many pitfalls along the path of true love which has never run smooth anyway, before their hopes are finally fulfilled in a spectacular millennial culmination worthy of love's loftiest dreams.
"You will come together at last. But not yet, not yet," says Fate mischievously.
The story line stirred me right to the last bone. People need to be patient and wait just to find true love, what is meant for you, all long written in our fate. As much as fate is something that I have doubts about, I don't question the fact that we all need to be patient waiting for the right moment to come. It's all fiction which is exactly why the girl could wait for 12 solid years. In reality, the scene whereby the girl finally married an excellent catch would have came much earlier. As romantic as anyone can be, no one will wait 4 years just for the second date. When Wong Li Lin finally lied to him and told her she's got a kid, I can imagine this exact scene in real life except that it's not a lie, this person could possibly be married and be holding a real 2 year old kid in her arms.
Waiting is painful and it drives people nuts but like the story, we all buy it because we're all hopeless romantics believing in finding true love. Different people has different threshold and capacity for being patient. I never knew I can be so weightlessly patient. Maybe not that light but it wasn't as painful as before. I suppose with sufficient faith, anything can happen. But that doesn't automatically qualify that there's no cap to that. I'm not the most efficient person but I work by deadlines. Datelines are either determined by someone with specific spoken dates or emotional scales. But what is my dateline? Be patient and my storyline will be revealed in time to come. The pen is ready... Waiting for the right book to appear. Be it the one on the shelf or brand new one from Prints, it waits to be seen. Call me naive but I still believe in true love... I do...
Sunday, March 09, 2008
Heaven = Horlicks Ice Cream + Gummi Bears + Shortbread
It's been about a year or since since I went to the Singapore Zoo. And as per every other visit, it didn't fail to surprise and entertain me. Proud to say, Singapore probably has one of the best zoos in the world. On the way there, all 3 of us received a mass sms from Fatshark Guru. He was texting us from the airport and all checked in. He flew off to JFK at about 12 noon today and he must be somewhere above the Pacific right now and I'm already missing him. He missed the Zoo excursion today and will also be missing the coming night drive, Summer's homecoming & the possibly cancelled Malacca drive. I can't call him to tell him that I've got a craving for Ice Cream Chef and bug him to bring me out. I can't tell him my life suck and I need a bear hug. "Please take care of yourself and we will help you take care of Ter Ter's Mom."
"Too much food" is very much the 3 words I can use to summarise the excursion today with A&E Quack and Lampung Prince. With excellent teamwork and some kidnapping skills, Lampung Prince and myself managed to whisk an exhausted doc for some much needed dessert at Island Creamery. Conclusion: I prefer my potent Horlicks ice-cream with gummi bears and shortbread from Ice Cream Chef. As the name suggest, the one from Island Creamery is way too creamy and milky for my liking and with bits of ice in the ice-cream, you know it's not very well made and the temperature wasn't controlled that well. I'm beginning to doubt A&E Quack's tastebuds... He likes Jack's Place?
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
"Too much food" is very much the 3 words I can use to summarise the excursion today with A&E Quack and Lampung Prince. With excellent teamwork and some kidnapping skills, Lampung Prince and myself managed to whisk an exhausted doc for some much needed dessert at Island Creamery. Conclusion: I prefer my potent Horlicks ice-cream with gummi bears and shortbread from Ice Cream Chef. As the name suggest, the one from Island Creamery is way too creamy and milky for my liking and with bits of ice in the ice-cream, you know it's not very well made and the temperature wasn't controlled that well. I'm beginning to doubt A&E Quack's tastebuds... He likes Jack's Place?
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Saturday, March 08, 2008
The Muscular Organ Responsible For Pumping Blood Is Tired
Forced myself to wake up on a Saturday morning, even earlier than a normal work day. Such sacrifice would only happen for wakeboarding. Getting more air time means that I was gaining a little more height which is essential for me right now in order to jump higher and further. There were a few good jumps today and it was enough to keep me going for this coming week with a slight exception. One of the falls was real bad. My knees were tucked close to me so I didn't have much room to cushion off any fall and as I hit the water, the rollers started to come towards me. The fall combined with the rollers sent a hit right up my right side from the heel. My ankle, knee and hip started to hurt. I couldn't stand up for the next ride and I was thinking, I must have broken something and it has got to be serious. But somehow which I'm guessing it must be the adrenalin that was pumping through my veins. Finally, with enough tries, I was not only standing tall but jumping wakes yet again. Unfortunately, after the hormone wore off, I was in pain by the time I got home. A nap was just what I really need. Then Fatshark Guru called...
He is likely to be heading to Philadelphia for a one week training tomorrow and from there on, head for Walldorf, Germany. The very next time that I'll see him will probably be in a couple of months time. With Lampung Prince leaving before the end of the month, our group is shrinking fast. Life still goes on and I know one fine day, we'll all be back here yet again, the aircraft carrier for all different types of aircraft. I will miss running to Fatshark Guru for a much needed hug when I'm down and out. Although everyone else is still around, I can't help but feel a pang of loneliness. When I was bidding Fatshark Guru goodbye, warm tears welled up and I was probably choked by it as well. Take care my friend and I'll see you real soon!
After the long day, I found myself uncontrollably napping off in the late afternoon. Now at 2am, my eyes are still wide awake. Waking up to go to the zoo tomorrow would be a real challenge. Shoulders are aching, right hip tingling with pain, I should really get my eyes shut for some rest. I'm just afraid once I wake up, there are more changes for the worse in life that my weak heart can't take. Everything feels so wrong. Why would everything feel so out of place? I just hope that there can be just one thing in life that is not drastically changing all the time. I'm so tired... And it's really painful to say I'm so tired.
He is likely to be heading to Philadelphia for a one week training tomorrow and from there on, head for Walldorf, Germany. The very next time that I'll see him will probably be in a couple of months time. With Lampung Prince leaving before the end of the month, our group is shrinking fast. Life still goes on and I know one fine day, we'll all be back here yet again, the aircraft carrier for all different types of aircraft. I will miss running to Fatshark Guru for a much needed hug when I'm down and out. Although everyone else is still around, I can't help but feel a pang of loneliness. When I was bidding Fatshark Guru goodbye, warm tears welled up and I was probably choked by it as well. Take care my friend and I'll see you real soon!
After the long day, I found myself uncontrollably napping off in the late afternoon. Now at 2am, my eyes are still wide awake. Waking up to go to the zoo tomorrow would be a real challenge. Shoulders are aching, right hip tingling with pain, I should really get my eyes shut for some rest. I'm just afraid once I wake up, there are more changes for the worse in life that my weak heart can't take. Everything feels so wrong. Why would everything feel so out of place? I just hope that there can be just one thing in life that is not drastically changing all the time. I'm so tired... And it's really painful to say I'm so tired.
Friday, March 07, 2008
Half Dead
The lethal combination of tom yum steamboat and yummy ice-cream should never be doubted. Combining both cravings can prove to be disabling. I'm the prime example. With absolutely no colours on my face, tummy fell flat from the dehydration, I'm so not in shape to work. But pressures' been building up as we sneak towards the end of this quarter. Still far from the target, I need to work some miracles and get the numbers right. Working hard is no longer a choice.
Going home hasn't been easy with Mom barking down my back but whenever I get back to my room and take a deep breather, well, Mom's still Mom. She must be having her PMS I reckon. At least my problem is far smaller than Meiren Biaojie's. Was chatting with one of my admin girls regarding her little girl not getting the attention that she probably deserves, reminded me alot of my relationship with Mom. Since I was little, Mom was obviously biased and was showering my kid brother with most of her attention. I was although Daddy's girl, it felt miserable. As I grew older, I came to realise that as human beings, there's no way we can ever feel the same amount of love for different individuals even if we want to or that we have to. Thou shalt work alot harder so I can buy Mom & Dad their holiday to Hokkaido. *Big sigh.
You know who you are and this is for you.
1. You are going to be just fine.
2. On the positive side, there's an end put to this insanity. Good riddance.
3. I'm here whenever you need me.
Hang on buddy...
Going home hasn't been easy with Mom barking down my back but whenever I get back to my room and take a deep breather, well, Mom's still Mom. She must be having her PMS I reckon. At least my problem is far smaller than Meiren Biaojie's. Was chatting with one of my admin girls regarding her little girl not getting the attention that she probably deserves, reminded me alot of my relationship with Mom. Since I was little, Mom was obviously biased and was showering my kid brother with most of her attention. I was although Daddy's girl, it felt miserable. As I grew older, I came to realise that as human beings, there's no way we can ever feel the same amount of love for different individuals even if we want to or that we have to. Thou shalt work alot harder so I can buy Mom & Dad their holiday to Hokkaido. *Big sigh.
You know who you are and this is for you.
1. You are going to be just fine.
2. On the positive side, there's an end put to this insanity. Good riddance.
3. I'm here whenever you need me.
Hang on buddy...
Thursday, March 06, 2008
Livin' On A Prayer
So wet. So cold. So dark.
That's today's upsetting weather.
Awoken by my boss' text message, I knew I was so screwed but determined to get to work so I dashed around and left the house within 5 minutes. Grabbing a cab on a rainy day is crazy especially when I refuse to bring the brolly out. Found myself standing by the street and the rain got to the emotional part of me. Everything felt so wrong. I'm just standing here in the rain, nothing seems right and I can't get a bloody cab. Finally after 20 mins in the rain, I got into a cab all drenched not knowing whether it was raindrops or tears falling down my face. i was depressing sobbing for no specific reason. Got to be the darn weather. The cabby turned out to be a road hazard. He was going really slowly and everyone was overtaking him in the wet and slippery weather. I was going to die from pulling my damp and frizzy hair.
Finally got into the office only to find out the new sitting arrangement. Yet again. I only have to say that it has gotten from bad to worse. The whole dynamics is wrong and I'm stuck at the worse ever place I could ever imagine myself to be. Damn those people with too much nonconstructive comments.
Gina dreams of running away
When she cries in the night
Tommy whispers: Baby it's okay, someday
We've got to hold on to what we've got
'Cause it doesn't make a difference
If we make it or not
We've got each other and that's a lot
For love - we'll give it a shot
We're half way there
Livin' on a prayer
Take my hand and we'll make it - I swear
Livin' on a prayer
We've got to hold on ready or not
You live for the fight when it's all that you've got
I'm missing my Urban Legend Wifey babysitter... I don't wanna go home to an empty bed and silent phone with the tv blasting away taking a piss at my cheerfully coloured room. Heaving another deep breath, I think I'm just thinking too much.
Damned if you do and damned if you don't. (Dunno what made me type this but when I googled it, I found this game.) - It's the game where the only way to REALLY win is not to play at all. The best you can hope for is that fate doesn't screw you as bad as it might. Basically it's just like real life.
That's today's upsetting weather.
Awoken by my boss' text message, I knew I was so screwed but determined to get to work so I dashed around and left the house within 5 minutes. Grabbing a cab on a rainy day is crazy especially when I refuse to bring the brolly out. Found myself standing by the street and the rain got to the emotional part of me. Everything felt so wrong. I'm just standing here in the rain, nothing seems right and I can't get a bloody cab. Finally after 20 mins in the rain, I got into a cab all drenched not knowing whether it was raindrops or tears falling down my face. i was depressing sobbing for no specific reason. Got to be the darn weather. The cabby turned out to be a road hazard. He was going really slowly and everyone was overtaking him in the wet and slippery weather. I was going to die from pulling my damp and frizzy hair.
Finally got into the office only to find out the new sitting arrangement. Yet again. I only have to say that it has gotten from bad to worse. The whole dynamics is wrong and I'm stuck at the worse ever place I could ever imagine myself to be. Damn those people with too much nonconstructive comments.
Gina dreams of running away
When she cries in the night
Tommy whispers: Baby it's okay, someday
We've got to hold on to what we've got
'Cause it doesn't make a difference
If we make it or not
We've got each other and that's a lot
For love - we'll give it a shot
We're half way there
Livin' on a prayer
Take my hand and we'll make it - I swear
Livin' on a prayer
We've got to hold on ready or not
You live for the fight when it's all that you've got
I'm missing my Urban Legend Wifey babysitter... I don't wanna go home to an empty bed and silent phone with the tv blasting away taking a piss at my cheerfully coloured room. Heaving another deep breath, I think I'm just thinking too much.
Damned if you do and damned if you don't. (Dunno what made me type this but when I googled it, I found this game.) - It's the game where the only way to REALLY win is not to play at all. The best you can hope for is that fate doesn't screw you as bad as it might. Basically it's just like real life.
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
Feel The Rain On Your Skin
I'll be your dream
I'll be your wish
I'll be your fantasy.
I'll be your hope
I'll be your love
Be everything that you need.
I love you more with every breath
Truly madly deeply do..
I will be strong I will be faithful
'Cos I'm counting on a new beginning
A reason for living
A deeper meaning
It was so darn tough to get myself to sleep last night. After all the brain washing from the gossips, I've made it a point not to absorb any of those and to clear my mind. So I sat there thinking about life in general and what made people do some things. I guess we're all creatures and victims of circumstances. But there are just some people who would do things that ignite the fumes. But have we ever asked ourselves that what is it that is so darn important about this particular person or persons that would suffice to upset us? So I prayed...
I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
Woke up this morning feeling really lethargic but right after I stepped into the office, even though was expecting the pending departure of one of my colleagues, I was on a super high. I was on my usual dose of caffeine but wasn't excessive. Those of you who knows me probably knows that I don't take coffee so there weren't any valid reason to explain the hyper-ness. I felt so light. Somehow, I felt that I didn't had to worry. Very unlike me, a full-time worry-ward.
Ohmmmmmmmmmmmmm........
I'll be your wish
I'll be your fantasy.
I'll be your hope
I'll be your love
Be everything that you need.
I love you more with every breath
Truly madly deeply do..
I will be strong I will be faithful
'Cos I'm counting on a new beginning
A reason for living
A deeper meaning
It was so darn tough to get myself to sleep last night. After all the brain washing from the gossips, I've made it a point not to absorb any of those and to clear my mind. So I sat there thinking about life in general and what made people do some things. I guess we're all creatures and victims of circumstances. But there are just some people who would do things that ignite the fumes. But have we ever asked ourselves that what is it that is so darn important about this particular person or persons that would suffice to upset us? So I prayed...
I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
Woke up this morning feeling really lethargic but right after I stepped into the office, even though was expecting the pending departure of one of my colleagues, I was on a super high. I was on my usual dose of caffeine but wasn't excessive. Those of you who knows me probably knows that I don't take coffee so there weren't any valid reason to explain the hyper-ness. I felt so light. Somehow, I felt that I didn't had to worry. Very unlike me, a full-time worry-ward.
Ohmmmmmmmmmmmmm........
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
But You Still Have All Of Me
To see the light at the end of the tunnel, we must first walk through the tunnel. At least that's what I think.
Venting my anger on my clients may not seem like the best way out but there was one who asked for it and I just blasted him over the phone. He was nice enough to hear me scream and shout and finally asked, "you ok now? still PMS-ing?" I know you'll read this... Thanks!
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I miss those days when I could just run away to Grandma and go hide behind the house and cry my lungs out whenever I'm down and out.
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
Now that she's no longer around, I can only learn to fight the wars myself. I have to be brave and have the courage to walk through the thunderstorm. Running away is not an option. I will see the light... I know I will.
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
Meiren Biaojie, life may seem more difficult. Hurdles stumble us. But we will ride up against the wakes and eventually we'll be feeling the wind in our hair under the sunny skies. I love you and it pains me to see you suffering. I don't know how I could help but I know, there is no problem in this world that we can't solve. We have always been Grandma's strong and independent girls. Ironically, these are personalities that makes us lonely and cold. But also do remember, these are characteristics that help us brave through whatever we had to overcome and whatever that's in our way. No matter what happens, I'm always your A-Min Biaomei and I will always be there for you. It's simple to say blood is thicker than water but I can actually feel the same blood flowing through us. I'm just a phonecall away if you need me.
I can't wait to feel how happiness really feels like... I can only hope that I will eventually get to the end of this tunnel.
你眼睛会笑弯成一道桥
终点却是我永远 到不了
感觉你来到是风的呼啸
思念像苦药竟如此难熬
每分每秒
我找不到我到不了
你所谓的将来的美好
我什么都不要
知不知道若你懂我这一秒
我想看到我在寻找
那所谓的爱情的美好
我紧紧的依靠
紧谨守牢不敢漏掉
一丝一毫愿你看到
But you still have
All of me
Venting my anger on my clients may not seem like the best way out but there was one who asked for it and I just blasted him over the phone. He was nice enough to hear me scream and shout and finally asked, "you ok now? still PMS-ing?" I know you'll read this... Thanks!
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I miss those days when I could just run away to Grandma and go hide behind the house and cry my lungs out whenever I'm down and out.
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
Now that she's no longer around, I can only learn to fight the wars myself. I have to be brave and have the courage to walk through the thunderstorm. Running away is not an option. I will see the light... I know I will.
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
Meiren Biaojie, life may seem more difficult. Hurdles stumble us. But we will ride up against the wakes and eventually we'll be feeling the wind in our hair under the sunny skies. I love you and it pains me to see you suffering. I don't know how I could help but I know, there is no problem in this world that we can't solve. We have always been Grandma's strong and independent girls. Ironically, these are personalities that makes us lonely and cold. But also do remember, these are characteristics that help us brave through whatever we had to overcome and whatever that's in our way. No matter what happens, I'm always your A-Min Biaomei and I will always be there for you. It's simple to say blood is thicker than water but I can actually feel the same blood flowing through us. I'm just a phonecall away if you need me.
I can't wait to feel how happiness really feels like... I can only hope that I will eventually get to the end of this tunnel.
你眼睛会笑弯成一道桥
终点却是我永远 到不了
感觉你来到是风的呼啸
思念像苦药竟如此难熬
每分每秒
我找不到我到不了
你所谓的将来的美好
我什么都不要
知不知道若你懂我这一秒
我想看到我在寻找
那所谓的爱情的美好
我紧紧的依靠
紧谨守牢不敢漏掉
一丝一毫愿你看到
But you still have
All of me
Monday, March 03, 2008
Bimbo Me
I was laughing reading my own post. I rarely have the courage to sound this bimbotic and I need to be in a certain kind of mood to be able to do so and I was feeling such last night. If anyone of you is interested, here's Virginia Elwood's website.
First time in months that I got in early enough for breakfast. I had 2 pieces of toasts with a guilty spread of butter and upon finishing yet another 2 eggs, the guilty conscience started to set in. The indicative bar on my weighing scale been heading north regularly since I got back from New York. Regular dinner with friends seem to keep my tummy at a really high satisfaction level all the time. It's about time I go back to some form of healthy living. Thou shalt make some effort to visit the gym...
A few years back, I would have been crazy to go out to get the latest coolest phone. I would still love a cool mobile but really, I'm not that exciting to rush out to get it anymore. The life span of mobile phones seem to get shorter and shorter. Since October 2006, which is less than 1.5 years, I have changed 3 phones and now the 4th one. Before the K850 was launched, I was all hyped to rush out to get it. I did not. My current phone is on the verge of dying. But everytime when I'm about to step into M1, it's perfectly fine again. It's like when we were young, whenever we fall ill and brought our exhausted bodies to the clinic to see the doctor, the fever will subside. But the problem persists. So it's about time for change...
First time in months that I got in early enough for breakfast. I had 2 pieces of toasts with a guilty spread of butter and upon finishing yet another 2 eggs, the guilty conscience started to set in. The indicative bar on my weighing scale been heading north regularly since I got back from New York. Regular dinner with friends seem to keep my tummy at a really high satisfaction level all the time. It's about time I go back to some form of healthy living. Thou shalt make some effort to visit the gym...
A few years back, I would have been crazy to go out to get the latest coolest phone. I would still love a cool mobile but really, I'm not that exciting to rush out to get it anymore. The life span of mobile phones seem to get shorter and shorter. Since October 2006, which is less than 1.5 years, I have changed 3 phones and now the 4th one. Before the K850 was launched, I was all hyped to rush out to get it. I did not. My current phone is on the verge of dying. But everytime when I'm about to step into M1, it's perfectly fine again. It's like when we were young, whenever we fall ill and brought our exhausted bodies to the clinic to see the doctor, the fever will subside. But the problem persists. So it's about time for change...
Sunday, March 02, 2008
Weekend Smiles & Surprises
Potluck party at our "Breyton Clubhouse" was unbelievably fun. Lumpung Prince and A&E Quack brought their Wii barang which cracked us all up throughout the night. All of us were caught in the oddest body postures second only to "Twister". As the night progressed on, only Breyton was left breaking records on bowling and swinging off his electronic golf game. The rest of us just went on to play "drinking games". The only variation to the usual drinking game, we were drinking tap water. To qualify for a toilet trip, we needed a "pee card" which none of us actually needed to use that since our punishment changed from water to garlic fried rice in an attempt to finish off the leftover food.
I cooked my usual clam chowder and the rest brought hor d'orves, satay, garlic fried rice and Breyton's beef rendang was unforgettable. For dessert, we had mango and banana crumble but unfortunately, we were too stuffed by then and were unable to fully appreciate it. Absolutely enjoyable.
My "M" button is not functioning so well so if I'm typing funny, that's not because my fingers have decided to types funny or ignore my "m"s.
The most exciting thing that has happened to me since forever! Before I went to New York, I was contemplating to get my tattoo from Miami Ink in Miami itself but after much research, I thought it was not quite possible given financial and time constraints. So I went to Adorned in New York hoping to get my tattoo done by Yoni Zilber. I saw some of Yoni's work and loved it so I emailed them just after I confirmed my trip to New York. They delivered the bad news and told me that Yoni is booked through Spring but I should go check out their shop when I get there. That was exactly what I did and they told me that they have got a new artist in town. I had my reservation but I saw some of her works and they were gorgeous so I decided to go with their recommendation. If you remembered my post in December right after I got my tattoo, I wrote briefly on my chio bu tattoo artist Virgina Elwood... Guess what? I saw her on Miami Ink earlier. I don't know what was she doing there and alot of you might think I'm damn swakoo to only know this now since Season 3 was like filmed so long ago. I caught a glimpse of her on the show and was sure that she was the girl who inked me. So I googled and found out that she did appear on Miami Ink as a guest tattoo artist. After another 10 mins of Ami James screaming away, I was more than sure because Chris Garver was calling her "Virginia". In the show, her arm was not as fully tattooed as when I met her so I definitely met her some time after she did the show because when she tattooed me, her sleeve was fully done up. Now, I can die with no regrets having my tattoo done by an artist associated with Miami Ink... Haha... But objectively, Virginia did a great job on me and I love my tattoo.
I cooked my usual clam chowder and the rest brought hor d'orves, satay, garlic fried rice and Breyton's beef rendang was unforgettable. For dessert, we had mango and banana crumble but unfortunately, we were too stuffed by then and were unable to fully appreciate it. Absolutely enjoyable.
My "M" button is not functioning so well so if I'm typing funny, that's not because my fingers have decided to types funny or ignore my "m"s.
The most exciting thing that has happened to me since forever! Before I went to New York, I was contemplating to get my tattoo from Miami Ink in Miami itself but after much research, I thought it was not quite possible given financial and time constraints. So I went to Adorned in New York hoping to get my tattoo done by Yoni Zilber. I saw some of Yoni's work and loved it so I emailed them just after I confirmed my trip to New York. They delivered the bad news and told me that Yoni is booked through Spring but I should go check out their shop when I get there. That was exactly what I did and they told me that they have got a new artist in town. I had my reservation but I saw some of her works and they were gorgeous so I decided to go with their recommendation. If you remembered my post in December right after I got my tattoo, I wrote briefly on my chio bu tattoo artist Virgina Elwood... Guess what? I saw her on Miami Ink earlier. I don't know what was she doing there and alot of you might think I'm damn swakoo to only know this now since Season 3 was like filmed so long ago. I caught a glimpse of her on the show and was sure that she was the girl who inked me. So I googled and found out that she did appear on Miami Ink as a guest tattoo artist. After another 10 mins of Ami James screaming away, I was more than sure because Chris Garver was calling her "Virginia". In the show, her arm was not as fully tattooed as when I met her so I definitely met her some time after she did the show because when she tattooed me, her sleeve was fully done up. Now, I can die with no regrets having my tattoo done by an artist associated with Miami Ink... Haha... But objectively, Virginia did a great job on me and I love my tattoo.
Saturday, March 01, 2008
Sunset
Was watching Channel News Asia and there was this clip on 2008 Olympics and that Chinese around the world are no less prouder than a Chinese National. I'm not too sure about this but well if it puts Asia on the map, things should be more positive than anything. Then I heard a horrifying voice and as I lifted my head in disgust, I saw our "local produce" Sun Ho. She can't sing, she's ugly and she's got a disgusting "American but not quite there" slang. I hate to go into any comments on her associated church and actions. If you're not impossibly stupid, you wouldn't need more evidence to show who are the unfortunate souls that powered her singing career which never quite took off. Despite all that, she never seem to give up. The spirit of a cockroach! I must say I have never quite liked her. She really shouldn't sing and I would genuinely suggest that she stops trying to grab so much attention and just keep a low profile. She makes it so easy to dislike her! Pui!
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