Dark & Cold In Here

When was the last time you had a dream of some acquaintances whom you don't even recall their names? I had one of those with at least 20 of those come and go characters last night. It's a very weird feeling. It's as though everyone around you is just strange and you don't feel like you belong to that sphere, a total intruder.

Maybe that's how I feel about my job now. I'm very lost now. However, I will persevere and stay only because I believe the training will do me good. Been telling myself to keep gritting my teeth, clenching my fist and tomorrow would be a brand new day. I've worked freaking hard today but still wasn't able to hit the daily contact numbers. I've been out on meetings the entire day and having a skirt that has a bad zipper just didn't help. I was forced to go shopping for a new pair of skirt so that I could cut the faulty zip and effective killed the skirt I wore twice. Even then, I'm not going to give myself any excuse. I could have put in more hours but I'm back home reading forums and blogging. I could have been working. My alter ego tells me that I'm too harsh on myself. I probably am. But even when I am, it's just not enough. What is it that I'm not doing and that I should be doing? What the fuck is wrong with me? I want to meet KPIs too. I really do. Good gracious, am I going to cry again? I'm not a cry baby and I will not be. Be strong, CCM. Alright, I'm going mad.

I hope you guys aren't bored by my constant ranting going on and on about work. That's al that's occupying my thoughts and I couldn't bring myself to write about anything else. Blogging has become a form of outlet for me but there are so many things I wanna say but I don't have the courage to or thought it wasn't such a great idea to publish about it afterall...

When was the last time we heard something from Blink 182. Here's one,

(I miss you miss you)
Hello there the angel from my nightmare
The shadow in backround of the morgue
The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley
We can live like Jack and Sally if we want
Where you can always find me
And we'll have Halloween on Christmas
And in the night we'll wish this never ends
We'll wish this never end

Where are you and I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness comes creeping on so haunting everytime
And as I stared I counted the webs from all the spiders
catching things and eating their insides
Like indecision to call you
And hear your voice of treason
Will you come home and stop this pain tonight
stop this pain tonight

Don't waste your time on me, you're already the voice inside my head

I miss you miss you

I miss a good stubborn-knot-relieving back rub...