What Every Woman Should Know

A little alcohol goes a long way, including putting you on a emotional bungee between the seconds.

It's funny how when I clicked for a "New Fortune Cookie" on Facebook, I got the message, "Don't Ask, Don't Say. Everything Lies In Silence". To a certain extent, silence is a reasonably fit-for-all key in most cases, especially when we would like to lay it all out and sort out the solutions.

It's rare but it happened this morning. I came in early for work and started to bury myself under a pile of emails waiting to be cleared and searches which I have given up hope on since I'll be going away for a long time and wouldn't have the time to follow up with it. But that was what I wanted to do, or rather, that was what I thought I wanted to do. After an hour of aimlessly whacking the stupid keyboard which my colleague told me that it was going to fall apart if I hit it any harder, I just broke down and stomped out of the office to get my morning tea. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't angry or anything. Just a little frustrated with myself for being unable to find the answer I thought I would find. At the same time, I don't know if I really want an answer now.

I never like to put myself in a vulnerable position which is why I always choose to leave. Coincidentally, I will be disappearing for a while, 3 weeks to be exact. This is not a form of escape like it seems to be, it is a retreat. Retail therapy... You can already imagine the grin hanging by the corner of my lips.

Just before I clicked on "Publish Post", an email from Urban Legend Wifey came it and it says,

MAYA ANGELOU'S
BEST POEM EVER

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

enough money within her control to move out
and rent a place of her own,
even if she never wants to or needs to...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

something perfect to wear if the employer,
or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

a youth she's content to leave behind....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to
retelling it in her old age....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

one friend who always makes her laugh...

and one who lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

a good piece of furniture not previously owned

by anyone else in her family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems,
and a recipe for a meal
that will make her guests feel honored...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

a feeling of control over her destiny...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

how to fall in love without losing herself...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

how to quit a job,
break up with a lover,
and confront a friend without
ruining the friendship...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...
(I did not CAPS what was CAPS-ED, it was there... What is it trying to say?)

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

that she can't change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

that her childhood may not have been perfect, but it's over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

whom she can trust,
whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't take it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

where to go...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table...
or a charming inn in the woods...
when her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

what she can and can't accomplish in a day...
a month...and a year...

Argh, I did an extensive pipeline and I can't remember where I left it. Urgh!! I don't want to have to redo this.

Yet I digress...

I have so many things I'd wanna say but I can't find the right words. I was unable to string a proper sentence today and I refuse to speak to anyone on the phone just yet. It's weird that I haven't quite opened my mouth since I stepped in. I can't explain the things I'm going through now. I have no idea how to do it the "me" way and it's pointless to ramble on sounding like a headless chicken.

I'll still be here...