疯了

Was with A&E Quack in his car one day and he played this song by OneRepublic for me...

Do you know where your heart is?
Do you think you can find it?
Or did you trade it for something
Somewhere better just to have it?
Do you know where your love is?
Do you think that you lost it?
You felt it so strong, but
Nothing's turned out how you wanted

Well, bless my soul
You're a lonely soul
Cause you won't let go
Of anything you hold

Well, all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head

Do you know what your fate is?
And are you trying to shake it?
You're doing your best and
Your best look
You're praying that you make it

Well, bless my soul
You're a lonely soul
Cause you won't let go
Of anything you hold

Well, all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head

I said I all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head

Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Better than you had it
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Yeah, better than you had it (Better than you had it)

I said I all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head

I said I all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head

Whenever the end is
Do you think you can see it?
Well, until you get there
Go on, go ahead and scream it
Just say it

Maybe I just need a place to rest my head.

Got an email from Comedy Boss a few days back when my mind was wavering between some decisions. For most people, they would be happy to receive such an email. I must say it was below my expectations and given that something possibly brighter awaits me, I wasn't thrilled. Having said so, I have my reservations and given my conservative nature in terms of my work and my progression, I will have to put much more thought into this whole thing and not make a rash decision. There are pros and cons. Basically, I do not like changes. In certain circumstances, if the pull is too tempting, I have no choice but to consider other options. In the short run, I will be able to have a better lifestyle. While contemplating if that will emerge into a long run benefit, I have my doubts. The world is cruel and I will have to learn it the hard way. In some ways, I'm rather sheltered from the extreme evils of this world but yet, I know I will need to put in crazy efforts no matter where I'll end up. The glass ceiling that I'm feeling is likely the reason why I'm looking for change. There are times that it may seem that complacency has taken hold of the better of me. In actual fact, I'm just thinking if I should continue to be a warrior in a familiar environment or be a ruthless warrior in an entirely new territory. Of course with risk, the benefit is there to be reaped. Well, guess I will know very soon as to how attractive the pull will be. Right now, I'll stay being a "career prude".

The Night Drive on Thursday and Kulai Carbon Clearing Drive + Dinner did take my mind off some things. Like how some of my friends may have noticed, my usually faulty mute button was working perfectly fine and I wasn't quite myself. I want to be able to let go and enjoy myself but it's tough. With Urban Legend Wifey's help in her major plan to keep my mind occupied, we're going to have another PotLuck + Wii session coming Wednesday and although it's a work day on Thursday, everyone seemed to entertain the idea and is giving me a good opportunity to wind down. Drinks tonight to welcome Summer back will probably help me let my not so long hair down and go mad. And come tomorrow, I'll be a good girl and I'll be attending for my first Easter service in about 2 years. I still can recall when I was in Senior Sunday School, we used to spend Friday night in church after after dark service and choir practice with Lazarus Unwound would be the highlight for the weekend. Watching stars on the rooftop and waking up without a voice are just common for such a weekend. By Sunday, we will usually be flat out but somehow, we can always find more energy to play games after Easter service. Come to think of it, that was about 10 years back. Goodness, how time has just flew past without us realising.

我想我疯了
不开灯我不要开灯
我身边容不下别的人
不锁门我不要锁门
你回来是一种可能
我那么的认真
去思考你对我的认真
或许是多么伤害人
而结论始终是疑问
我爱疯了
我疯到自己痛也不晓得
放弃了保护自己的责任
放弃了抵抗脆弱的天份

To end this note in the weirdest way ever, I'm feeling really glad for Taiwan's economy because Ma Ying Jou has just won the elections!!!