Loose Not Your Grip

When you said you trusted me, I trusted that you trust me. I trust that you meant what you say and trust me, I'll keep my side of the bargain.

My sixth sense has never served me better though I wish in a better way. Awoken by the message ringtone from my mobile, I picked up as swift as I can imagine myself to when I'm drowsy, falling in and out of sleep. To begin with, my ability to sense things aren't quite right has never been more accurate. I couldn't quite get to sleep. The message read what I most feared.

To not blog about my relationship is my last attempt to protect it from any harm and to shelter it in order to create room for it to grow. But I could no longer find any reasonable outlet to pour my pain.

When told I'm not a rebound, I believed in every word of it because I believed in the person who said it. However, some part of me refused to admit that there's a flaw in that sentence. The person who said it was absolutely sincere and I do not for one second, doubt that. His belief and the actual fact may not agree with one another.

In fear that if I probe further, it will lead to cutting myself in the wrist yet again so I went into hiding and zipped up. I could see the pain and sorrow but yet I'm not ready to let go of the happiness that accompanied me for the last month. Why is it so difficult to put in everything yet not feel hurt?

To not dwell anymore is my way of avoiding things and I do believe things will only get better. Genuinely. To walk away is not a measure I'm prepared to take because I'm selfish.



Do you hear me,
I'm talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying

Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music fill the air
I'll put a flower in your hair

Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday


All I want to do is to find a way back into love... Do not let go of my hand...