最暖的胸口

After the sandstorm, the dust settles. Everything still looks grainy, as though God intended for it to be so. As much as we'd all love a clearer view, clarity remains out of reach. Did He forgot about me?

A couple of days short of the most important day in the calendar, the second departure differed from the first. Still vivid and remembered by the post on the day of the first teary goodbye, I wrote that to wait was naturally expected. Little did I know, the second goodbye was for good. I'm wishing it would rain heavily now so that I could go soak myself and wake my dumb brain up. The mind is playing back the bitter sweet moments like a fucked up broken recorder. Absolutely torturing and disruptive. Funnily, I secretly hope that the same teary scene at the very last moment before the first final departure, the words "wait for me, dear..." would reappear like a beautiful dream. Like a forgotten child...

牵手和分手来自同一双手

To try to maintain a strong front has always been a forte. To return home to emptiness never fails to hit hard with the unspeakable and excruciating pain. If there's someone I could run to, there could only be one. When the weather is bad out there, we will always look forward to having a warm shower at home. When the fall hurts, the sprint home to that warm voice always helps. Few fit the bill of a warm voice. The choices are ultimately a choice.

The rain is getting cold. The face gets warmer. The arms are empty. To long to hide in Pengaloo... The warmth in the cold... Complex yet simple happiness. It is not an imaginary place but it can no longer be found.

我怀念的 是争吵以后
还是想要爱你的冲动

Is this wanting very little or wanting alot? I want nothing else in this world. Nothing! Absolutely nothing! Nothing... I find that I'm talking to myself...

想问为什么
我不再是你的快乐

Now that the emo side is done, the rational side of me understands. I truly do... And I'll still be around whenever my presence is needed.