Dancing Queen

My Monday was totally unproductive. My mild stomach flu was affecting me on and off. If it was really bad, I could have gone back and rested or probably see the doc and in my case, call the doctor. See, my Mom manages a chain of clinics and the doctors know very well I know how and am able to self medicate. So they will just give me instructions. I'd do the usual temperature, blood pressure, flatulence check before the phone call. I should have been a nurse if not for my limited patience. My evening was spent wandering around and waiting to get my brows done. Sidetrack: I'm totally uncomfortable when my brows are messed up. I'd always feel yucky, ugly and dysfunctional. It's amazing how clean and neat brows can improve my mood.

Went on to my usual Simpang meetup with the Fat Club. Was supposed to go with Rodders but cuz it's raining and he's got this pet peeve about no driving in the rain, it was called off. Then Holey Moley texted me, same time same place as I originally planned to meet up with Rodders so managed to have my usual Limau Ais. The whole night I was being coerced to get a Japanese car instead of a continental one. My passion for continental cars steered me into defending my choice but they did succeed in putting some sensible thoughts into me. Will do my sums and decide at a later date. My love for continental cars is still not anywhere near shelved though. Currently eyeing the Golf GTi... I'm so fickle!

Anyway, the article below had be circulated and some of you may have seen it but I thought if you need some entertainment, you can read this.

What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy. I'm not from a rich family. I'm looking to get married to a guy who drives BMW and makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in places like New York City, so I don't think I'm over reacting at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated an older business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get me to District 9 or 10. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Ardmore, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms
What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my feelings
Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?
Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in town. What's the story there?
Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY
Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and heart.

PostingID: 432279810

THE ANSWER

Dear Pers-431649184:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a cr@ppy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you! So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful" as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.

I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

I just think she should go work her arse off and earn some money for herself or find a sugar daddy and be a very expensive pro.

And oh, go to this website and tell me which direction you actually see the girl dance in. I spent the entire night trying to make her switch from anti-clockwise to clockwise then back to anti-clockwise. Kinda fun but does get a little frustrating. FatShark Guru nearly strangled me.