Mental Dissection

Was chatting with "The Other Urban Legend" earlier, there were some points he mentioned that I thought he had me spot on then as I was replying bit by bit, I started to realise that my life is alot better than I initially thought. Here are excerpts of the email I sent across...

"I’m not as much a thrill seeker as you think I am. I guess I feel comfortable with people around me but quite polarised at times because I really love time alone. And I guess you are right it’s to fill the space/void in me. WB takes that few hours off during the weekend so it doesn’t seem so long and that I actually DID something over the weekend and not be rotting at home. I may not love my independence as much but do appreciate that I have them. At times, I’d rather not have this independence. It gets very tiring. But this is a catch 22 situation I guess.

In my job, it’s very easy to get lost and lose yourself. My ex-boss “Babooshka Mom” has been telling me that some people can make astronomical amount of money in recruitment but whether they are happy or not, it’s a totally different story. But the way I’m doing things, I can survive, might not be darn rich but at least, I can be happy. That was how she mentored me.

Dreams are wide and the matter of accomplishing it all boils down to perception yet again. Of course I’d be happy to drive a Murcielago but do I need that to make me happy and do I want that. We all have dreams which will remain as dreams. More often than not, that it remains a dream. Good that if it ever comes true but even if it doesn’t, there’s no real loss. Happiness may have been found somewhere else. That’s all that matters. You don't lose what you never had.

Stability in the heart and mind may not seem sorted but I know it is sorted. My life has come to a point that nothing much is changing and I actually like that. It gives me the right frame of mind to look at issues or things that might change my life with a very clear decision making standpoint."

Not realising that I actually have the capacity to break myself up into little pieces and decipher myself. After the conversation, I felt lighter because I could see more of myself, well classified. The arrow suddenly emerged from the fog and I could imagine it actually lighting up the way.

Went for dinner with Urban Legend Wifey (totally different from The Other Urban Legend) and we were discussing about relocation. There are just some things that you will need the right time, with the right people around you, the right support to make such a decision. Otherwise, rerooting for a few years and to return starting all over again can be quite a torturous exercise. As of now, only if a life long partner were to relocate to a location I can see myself starting a life and to return in a few years, I will not leave this place a lone ranger. Even having said that, if a reasonable offer comes along, the priority might have be rearranged... Unless...