Stay The Same

The gloomy thunderous day seemed to have blasted any smiles out of the way. Everyone seems to be bothered with things from all aspects of their lives. For myself, I just hit a new low without knowing why. Of a sudden, I became the most pessimistic person but then again, it is not beyond me to be absolutely negative. Wednesday being the usual mid-week drinks night, I was yawning by the time I was just 10% into my beer and all I wanted to do is to get home and prepare for my early morning meeting. Numbers for this quarter are far from satisfactory and no matter how I try to bury myself with impossible amount of work, I can't seem to work any miracle. Some part of me just couldn't be bothered because if I've done what I can, I can't possibly do more. On another hand, I just wanna keep working so that my mind contains nothing else than just work. This is not working. Whenever I drain myself out, all I want is to go home and cry my lungs out. Not to worry you silly things out there, I haven't been depressed or sobbing endless streams of tears, I just breathe really hard and think of useless things. But the good side of this, I actually know for a fact that they are useless. All I need is a reassuring voice to tell me that things are going to be just fine. How gullible can one get?

Job satisfaction is something not everyone will get to enjoy day in day out. I always tell my candidates how much I love my job. I do. But there are times when I feel that maybe I should be doing something else. Today is one of those times. Though at the close of the day, I know this is what i want to do for a career and I know for sure that I could possibly build something huge out of this. This is pretty much a toiling period and once the seasons passes, harvest will come one day. With the right personality and gaining more knowledge by the day, I know I will have extraordinary results. It may not be the numbers but the level of satisfaction and enjoyment. I know I will get there some day just being myself and not get swayed by meeting KPIs and immediate monetary benefits. There are just too much things in life that are more important than just having a pocket full of cash. It is crucial to live your life the way you want it to be. Life will be like what Infamous "Asian Hero" William Hung famous words, "I have no regrets!"