我這樣愛你

Totally forgetting how tough a photoshoot can be, I agreed to participate in one when Camel Chairman called me a week ago and told me of this shoot. The pictures are not out but I must say I had fun. OLL Lao Da texted me in the morning telling me of the name for the shoot. It's to be called Yang Guo and Xiao Long Nu because the number of models were reduced to the just the 2 of us. Then Ang Mo Phil became the Aussie bred eagle Yang Guo once had. I have no idea if Yang Guo had an eagle but OLL Lao Da kept me pretty entertain. The perfectionist in him, the determination to produce the best results greatly impressed me. To make sure his body's in tip top condition, he went tanning everyday for 3 weeks and went to the gym even more regularly. Such magnitude of charm in a person can only be found in OLL Lao Da. As for myself, I felt bad that I didn't find time to sculpt my body for this shoot (in fact I did absolutely nothing to help with the water retention) and was shocked when the makeup artist put on the pink wig on me. My clothes were suitable so they put together some white clothes just draping around me. The end result is me stuck in a super duper awkward position having my back photographed.

I hate weekends because it reminds me of how lonely my life is and how dreadful weekends can be. It's during the weekends that I'm being conveniently forgotten. Well, not that I'm usually being remembered. I'm losing it...



This song means alot to me. The conversation, the lyrics, the pain...

I hate myself for not admitting that I'm in the back seat.

Look at me
You may think you see
Who I really am
But you'll never know me
Every day, is as if I play apart
Now I see
If I wear a mask
I can fool the world
But I can not fool
My heart
Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside
I am now
In a world where I have to
Hide my heart
And what I believe in
But somehow
I will show the world
What's inside my heart
And be loved for who I am
Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me
Why is my reflection
Someone I don't know?
Must I pretend that i'm
Someone else for all time
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside
There's a heart that must
Be free to fly
That burns with a need
To know the reason why
Why must we all conceal
What we think
How we feel
Must there be a secret me
I'm forced to hide
I won't pretend that i'm
Someone else
For all time
When will my reflections show
Who I am inside
When will my reflections show
Who I am inside