Are You Ready?

At the beginning with this year, I was lamenting on the number of weddings I had to attend and I managed to skip a good portion of them. I love weddings and attending them but at this age, you get even your peers asking when is your turn and such and you subsequently just avoid such occasions, Chinese New Year + inquisitive relatives included. As a girl, you dream about your big day since you first saw your elder female cousin/aunt trying on their gown. But when reality kicks in, there are so much more to life than just putting on the gown and veil. There are more factors that revolve around being married than getting married. And as you blow the next birthday candle, you think lesser and lesser of such things or so you wish to believe.

Among my group of friends from school days, we have a divorcee, 2 single souls and the rest of the bunch are all married. It appears that apart from that one (or rather his wife) from the married bunch, the other 3 of us often end up on the same mahjong table.

And then you have the bunch of SBW... (I know some of you guys are reading this and it's meant for your eyes anyway... Celebrate! You're now mentioned on my blog, hence a celebrity. Ha! See you guys for lunch later!) Among them is DaftBitch, a tai-tai triathlete wannabe. She's been with her beau for the longest time ever and is not thinking of tying the knot due to various reasons. Not that we're pushing them for that but I think they're ready. However, DaftBitch is pretty much a character like myself. We're both loud, funloving, insane people but we think alot about life. She's alot more carefree than myself, or so I think. I tend to dwell too much into things. She mentioned she's not in a rush and I feel that mentally, she's got to be ready and no one can push her into it. Similarly for many of you out there who are thinking of getting hitched, I urge you to think if you can live a life with that special someone before rushing into it.

Ex-Sir's Sir is the divorcee I mentioned above. We've been the best of friends forever because he's always been there for me when I needed a friend. He married his sweetheart some years back because they have been together since school, went through that and NS and later on, their individual careers. Finally, they settled down. Little do they know, maybe the time is just not right and now, they are apart.

Ex-Sir's Sir asked me not too long ago if I'm hitting the panic button already. My thoughts are... Probably given some 5 years back, I would have been eager to jump onto the bandwagon with the rest of them. I'm thankful I didn't do that. And those of you who knows me, that relationship of mine that lasted slightly more than half a decade has ended and is defined nothing short of a disaster. Since then, I've never been in a rush.

Was asked if I would mind if my better half isn't ready in a couple of years when I'm turning yellow and haggard (Alright, I'm exaggerating..) I thought about it seriously. I think it's much more important for two persons to feel that they are on stable and solid foundation than to rush into a constitution that they are unsure of. Apart from giving children the legitimacy, I don't think the marriage certification would be of a big issue. In today's society and in particularly referring to myself, women are financially independent and we do not need the certification to give us the security we need. The security tends to be more emotional than tangible. As long as we know that we have a shoulder to lean on and a listening ear to mumble the daily grumbles to, we are usually more than happy.

But of course, I can't be too sure how things would be like in say 5 years time but I'm sure if I know that this is a person that I'm going to spend my life with, it's because he can provide me with the emotional security and is there for me to love and to hold and not merely tied down by the vow of till death do us part. The physical vow is nothing but bullshit. It is the willingness to live out the vows that really matters.

One of my favourite uncle who has been dating for more than a decade way before my Grandpa passed away, still hasn't got any plans to get married because he didn't see the need to and isn't bothered by my ever-nagging Grandma. I don't think why any of you out there should unless you plan to have kids or buy a HDB flat.

My favourite line still goes... "As long as you're here with me, nothing else matters."