Get Me Busy

It could be being jobless for too long, I am starting to feel really lethargic. I appreciate the fact that I can wake up late, spend hours on Facebook and have meals with people from all over the place. Time with friends and loved ones are extended and enjoyed at ease although everyone else still has to plough back at work the next day. Given that the holiday season that is near, many are very much in the holiday mood so activities are starting to really pile. Am I happier? I don't know. I can't say I'm a workaholic but I definitely miss working. I miss clocking up achievements making me feel that I'm a better person by doing something good or rather, contributing to some form of good to some people in general. The cooking has stopped as Mom has piled up the entire fridge with food enough to last 2000 Chinese New Years. The bank account is drying up faster and panic mode sets in. If you think the anticipated ang pows is going to help, I can reassure you, it will probably feed me enough for 3 hours, not forgetting the gambling that would erase all that "earnings".

For weeks, I've been actively looking around and by now, I am looking at choices. Unfortunately, many things are not that well-timed and not all options can be presented altogether. I'm looking at the one on top of my list. Oddly enough, the industry that this role is focused on, isn't leveraging on my forte. But what is enough to bring a smile to my face, they belong to the "mothership" industry that I once loved and I know I'll probably enjoy the processes all over again just like how I did slightly in excess of a year back.

The choice is tough weighing the options that are vastly different in terms of package, area of focus and the very team that decides how much you will enjoy your time there. Having been in the industry for a while before, I do realise that sometimes, money isn't all that matters. Your colleagues will probably form the majority of your smiles and tears. The money, if it can make up for the unhappiness, then it will be worth it. But if you have none of those, that's when you pack up and leave for greener pastures.

I have been told recently that the pressure with all these thoughts in my head, tend to put me on a very short wire. I haven't been the best tempered person and I have to admit that. I don't actually see myself being that much more impatient but it seems that there's actually one person who thinks I've sunken into a bad patch and quite obviously, it was felt by the petitioner. I hope with something keeping me busy and my bank account happy, I should be a better companion? So what will happen to quality time and the love? Who knows? No one can or should predict. One thing I'm sure, He knows what's best for me.

I think my intelligence and patience are being fried. Extreme sensitivity isn't just a problem I can "Sensodyne" it. Exhaustion, despite all the sleep, is present with the main purpose to reduce me back down to a pile of useless slime. Too much time, too little to achieve... Yet. Will want to turn that around faster than you can read your own name... Wish me luck! Will appreciate a prayer...