Don't Cha

I have to say playing with 3 little girls and 2 little boys is alot of fun when they all love you to bits. The only drawback - my bones are falling apart. Ordered pizza for them - one of them wants the crispy corners of the pizza, the other one wants the ham. Another one will come running to you with one chicken wing in each hand and tell you she's done with it when she's only peeled off the skin. With unbelieveable patience, I slowly explained that we'd have to finish our food and there's alot left on the chicken wing and it's bad to waste food. While trying to peel the ham off the pizza, i was trying my best to debone the chicken wings as well. This whole process went on for a couple of hours and i'm glad i'm not insane yet.

When they start crying, instead of returning them back to their parents, I was trying so hard to soothe them only to get repaid with each of them pulling one of my limb wanting me to do something. I can't ever be more torn than this.

When I was younger, I've always wanted to be a Mom before i hit 26 but look at me now, I'm stressed over 5 kids fighting for attention. Then again, if I have kids after 30, I can't imagine how am I ever going to have the energy to run after them and teach them the right values.

At the same time, there are about 10 adults sitting around the table behind me talking about their wedding plans. Sent shivers straight up my spine. They are all about my age and all of them are getting married. Is time really running out for me? Started with before 24, then before 26 and now I can only hope, before 30. Someone once told me when he's 50, he wants to be at a bar drinking with his son and his son's friends will all be calling him by his name and drinking with him. He's 35 this year, recently divorced.

Someone else asked me last night, why don't i be a lesbian? Frankly, I'd have been one had "XXX" not been attached then. I always have a soft spot for her and she's so cute. In fact, all my friends are on the other direction of the traffic. Come to think of it, I probably wouldn't have the courage to do that. Besides, i've always preferred men. And to top it all, I can't wait for the day to be a real Mom which is why I've always believed eveiry woman must go through natural birth and only when there's complications would ever think of c-section. Natural birth is part of the experience of being a woman and I still don't understand why some fret. I might one day, who knows.

Since I was little, I've always imagined the bext job in a world is to be a mother and that has not changed. Some may think I'm mad but once you've experienced coming home to a little thing smiling at you, all the stress from work will simply vanish. Everytime I look at Lala and the way she says "Bao Bao Me", I'd melt and everything else in the world is just secondary. Even now she's too heavy to be carried around all the time, I'll gladly risk having having sore arms but I just want to carry her close to me for her to plant a wet kiss on my cheek. Whenever you sing, "Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me", and she'll use her sweetest voice to continue, "Don't cha." How cute is that!!!

As of now, I'm probably not ready for motherhood. Whenever they cry, I just want to return them to their Moms or the helpers. But just imagine stepping through the door and this little imp runs up to you calling, "Mommy!" or "Daddy". The world would be so complete...