Suck The Mucus In And Deal With It

Sitting in front of the notebook on a Sunday evening, sipping off my mug of steamy hot Milo and chomping down BBQ flavoured Twisties despite my sore and infected throat, reminds me of how frighteningly lonely it can get. Especially when my nasal cavities are all blocked, sneezes explode every 30 seconds and mucus flows without me being able to feel anything at all. You must be thinking how disgusting it is and just so you have an image, I'm buried under a pile of used and unused tissues, my eyes are red and watery, I'm sniffing away and can hardly breathe. Every time I blow my nose, it's ultra painful and at times, traces of blood can be spotted on the tissue. I can still remember vividly in this episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S where Monica was really sick, someone told her she's not fine if she kept saying fine as fined. I know how that feels exactly. I'm fine-d, well maybe not,

Mahjong was arranged to be played just about now but was cancelled. I have to say I was weirdly relieved as much as my hands are itching for a couple of games. However when the harsh reality cruelly reminded myself that I'm left all alone to deal with the fear of being alone all by myself just makes me wanna double click on the tear inducing Chinese songs on my iTunes and to hide behind my cold and fat comforter swallowing back the tears, stubbornly refuse to cry from obvious loneliness. But the tears seem to follow the pull of gravity more than my unconvincing and evidently weak will power. Hurhur...

Well, I can deal with tears but I can't deal with the even more blocked nose that accompanied the undesirable tears. It's times like this that makes me want that simple hug and to lie in bed, refusing to get up. The bed just feels too big for a petite girl who's vertically challenged like myself and too empty for a longing heart, longing for that warm embrace. Ok, this is getting too disgusting even for me to read... Alright, I'm all fine. I'm just sick and sick people just naturally feel cut off. I'll be fine. I know I am. I know I will be. I am fine. I am.... I really am... I... really... am... Am I?

听见别人提起你的名字
我就会脸红
一张有你合照的照片
看来看去都不厌倦
坐在寂寞了很久的窗前
不停地想念
从没有对谁的支字片语
可以读了好几百遍
像童话中的世界
如今出现在真实人生的眼前
再苦闷的时刻
也有彩虹
哪怕只是轻靠你的肩
像传说中的爱情
如今出现在真实人生的眼前
当你拥抱着我
轻轻地对我说
你会爱我到永远
我就像cinderella
等到了寻找我的他
爱情的的过程
总会有泪有挣扎
有你的温柔
我就什么都的不怕
我就像cinderella
等到了寻找我的他
等待你是我付出最甜蜜的代价
快乐的cinderella
真爱得到了回答

If only...