Friday Entertainment

My self entertainment while facing pain at work, turning my anguish to laughter.

An internal email to a colleague:

"Dear XXX (XXX to protect my innocent colleague),

I think for general XXX (XXX to protect my innocent department) “Mental” Health, we should set up a course. Common Sense Development Course (CSDC) The purpose of this course is to reduce hazardous remarks that are said without putting any reasonable thoughts to it and causing grieve to others as a result. In the course, we will provide XXX (XXX to protect a particular government organisation) certified trainers which are commonly found in most zoos and humans call them monkeys. The honouranium will be in the form of peanuts.

Please approve this course suggestion so we can get non-English language certified courseware developers to start developing courseware plagued with spelling errors.

PS. I wore my watch on my waist today and my belt on my wrist. I’m so happy."
Another follow up email by me:

Dear XXX (XXX to protect my innocent colleague),

Thank you for the approval. Please note that trainees are able to claim special funds from Mandai XXXlogical (XXX to protect someone who doesn't quite need much protection) Garten but please do direct them to the Idiots Only Department (IOD). They have to meet the basic requirements as follows:

- From department of Sales/Marketing
- Certified as old ugly men and occasionally some old ugly women

Unfortunately, I’m sorry to tell you that you do not qualify so XXX (XXX to protect my innocent department) will not be able to sponsor you for the course as XXX (XXX to protect my innocent department in another desperate attempt) is the anal department always giving people trouble and always receiving others’ unwanted burden. You need to be ugly and stupid enough to qualify so in the event that you disfigured your face AND killed your brains, we will accept an appeal from you and might consider waiving your course fee.

I have just entertained myself on a PMS plagued, stressed up Friday.