What If...

Sitting here alone, feeling slightly below the weather, my mind started to roam with my iTunes ringing away in the background. In this land of foreign language and faces, I wandered the streets looking for the complex answer to "what do I want to do next?" Simple question but depending on what it relates to demands a much more thought through answer. These couple of days, I chose to not pack too much activities but cover more grounds, understanding the very local way of living. If you want to dwell, I'm just too lazy to explore too much. I needed a break from too much in the mind and I was trying to just attain that. Having said that, money seems to miraculously disappear even not much shopping was done. Besides, my main purpose of being physically here was easily achieved by the flight. The rest is up to the bigger man up there. Weather here had been good with a bit of overcast every now and then but generally, what can't be controlled by me shouldn't be mine to grumble about. Maybe...

So, what do I want to do next? Was told recently that even if the deal is right in front of you, you can always choose not to accept the deal as the power of decision lies in your very own hands. But too many times, we're all too concerned with the "what ifs". There's always a limit to what one can take but why are we all so engrossed in pushing the bloody limit. Maybe it's easier to take the back seat and let the rest fall into place. Easier said than done. We all want what we want and what we can do to have it, we will fight for it. At least the miserable personality of mine always seeks such "nirvana". If the decision befalls on another person's decision, it might well be better to loosen the string and let the kite fly. Afterall, what is not yours will never be.

Sometimes, it's not about what the will power can do but not to have the will and to give it all away. The load should be lighter...