Having One's Cake And Eating It

Before I begin, I have a disclaimer. I'm clenching my fist (not while I'm typing of course) and gritting my teeth, hence, the likelihood of me sounding coherent is out of the window. Let me be a bitch today.

I had enough! Way more than enough to be a nice person and get bitten right back on my arse. I had more than enough while trying to be accommodating. Being genuine is not what others want. They all want sweet, pretty and everything nice. I'm so not that and I'm so farking far from that. Enough! Cringe...

To have one's cake and eat it. How does that sound? How about opening a can of whoopass? The world is devouring me alive. So drowned in this mess, I can hardly breathe. Nothing is right. Farking nothing seems even close to right. Maybe it's just me. Get outta here!

It's absolutely bizarre how delusional can one get when stupidity gets to the top of their crown. To be appreciated is just one of the littlest of all things enough to turn that pole around. It never will happen, does it? And getting traumatized is just part of the unsolvable equation. To blow fire out with an intimidating roar is not fictional, neither do you have to be the dragon guarding the weak screaming princess in the castle. Just be a door mat long enough... [Taken from : He's Just Not That Into You]

Just when I'm typing away all the negative things, my Mama Angel texted me to not be destroyed by the unworthy. How in tuned and in time. Without her, I might have been in a different stage in life, maybe better or worse. But it's true that for every step that we take in life, we gain something. She's a victorious trophy from one of my life's moves. She showed me that there are so much more in life and there are things I can still look forward to. Never will she be hit real hard it seems... Then again, I remembered holding her back on one of the occasions to stop her from blowing her top. But if only I can look at life like she does. Am I still taking the baby steps?

Somehow, one of my weakness which I genuinely mean it, not in an attempt to show that I'm a nice person, is that I can't hold grudges very well. I forget them fast but that also causes alot of pain because I keep stupidly opening doors for people to punch me hard in my face over and again. I hope I won't invite anymore punches because there's only so much I can take. This Energiser Bunny is on an all time battery low. Almost flat...