What Do You Do...

Was reading Chang E blog after a long while and came across this song that seems to tug me uncomfortably. It's actually a nice song. Chang E has always come across as the happy go lucky girl in my team and my most memorable moment of her was when I wasn't even around. She was drunk and applied for MC with me via a piece of napkin. Cute is almost an understatement to describe her. Underneath all the laughter and smiles, I always felt there's something about her I could relate to but yet we've never spoken much about our personal lives.

During our regular oxygen breaks with just the both of us, we would have very little to talk about but yet the silence and watching the other person's expression, we both know we have so much on our minds but we never really want to talk about it much. The unknown unsaid understanding never gave me a reason to ask or dwell. In a way, it would be tough for be to be a real friend because I needed to maintain the professional side of myself and there will be times I need to scream at them. But all I want to say is that if my shoulders are ever needed, it will be available. Right now, the closest we can get is to have a drink together and to laugh and cry together if we finally crash.

Now I'm just thinking when can I afford to not drive and drink myself silly, at the same time, not worry about having to wake up for work the next day. It would be so inappropriate for me to go out drinking with the rest of them and have everyone come in half dead the next day knowing that they are my responsibilities.



What do you do when you know something's bad for you
And you still can't let go?

I was naive
Your love was like candy
Artificially sweet
I was deceived by the wrapping

Got caught in your web
And I learned how to plead
I was prey in your bed
And devoured completely

And it hurts my soul
Cos I can't let go
All these walls are caving in
I can't stop my suffering
I hate to show that I've lost control
Cos I, I keep going right back
To the one thing that I need to walk away from

I need to get away from it
I need to walk away from it
Get away, walk away, walk away

I should have known
I was used for amusement
Couldn't see through the smog
It was all an illusion

Now I've been licking my wounds
Woke up in love and seems so great
We both can't subdue
Darling you hold me prisoner

I'm about to break
I can't stop this ache
I'm addicted to your lure
and I'm feeling for a cure
Every step I take
Leads to one mistake
I keep going right back
To the one thing that I need...

I can make it
It's some state I'm in
Getting nothing everytime
What did I do to deserve
The pain of this moment
And everywhere I turn
I keep going right back
To the one thing that I need to walk away from

I need to get away from it
I need to walk away from it
Get away, walk away, walk away

Everytime I try to grasp for air
I get smothered and this sky, it's never over, over
Seems I never wake from this nightmare
I let out a solid breath, let it be over, over

Inside I'm screaming
Breaking, pleading the world

My heart has been bruised
So sad but it's true
Each peep reminds me of you

Only thing I need to do is walk away