Against Odds

With people walking in and out of our lives, and particular for what I have to say today, people out or on their very way out. Maybe it's just the imaginary no entry sign that stopping the show from continuing. To encounter the familiar faces with the strangest feeling of it all, like an ostrich, avoiding seems like the natural way to handle the awkward situation. The thoughts rushed back and wishing only you can turn back the clock and change things. But truth is, it's always against the odds when people have changed their direction and had their eyes focused on a direction away from yourself.

See, I've been watching Scrubs from scratch. The part where Turk proposed and when JD finished making his toast as he watched 2 loving couples kiss on, I actually felt sad for him and subsequently reflected. Just a couple of hours ago, I found out a very good friend of mine whom I could almost qualify as my best friend because if I were to define best friend, I couldn't think of any. Then again, there's Black Tulips. The only one person who has got my back when I needed someone to talk to. In fact, he passed me exactly what I needed - Series after series of Scrubs for me to get past my weekends.

All these while, I've been intentionally drowning myself at work. On one end, I just needed to do it because it's my job, I love it and most of all, it pays bills. On the other, I just didn't have anything else in my life to occupy the time after work or to have any compelling reasons for me to leave the office early. Weekends become empty on the calendar and the desperate need to fill them out. Somehow, sleep is still incredibly lacking.

Something I heard on Scrubs that I really love - "No relationship is perfect. What is important is that you wanna be there even if it sucked." Now, if there's even something worth the while and the time. Maybe I meant, someone instead of something.

At the very least, I know there's any important lesson I have got to learn in this life. That is to pick my battles...