Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Senseless SG Boys

In general, Singaporean girls do not need their guys to open their doors nor pull our their chair but we're not going to deny that it feels good to be pampered once in a while. I must say i'm lucky because CT knows how to treat a girl right, not just me, guess it boils down to having 3 elder sisters who probably drilled him to walk the route leading to "the bright side". Well, he's got me, guess that's an incentive? For him at least? Oh crap...

My message is: "Singaporean boys in general (I STRESS, NOT ALL OF THEM), do not know how to treat a lady right." It doesn't have to be your sister, your girlfriend nor your Mom. Just gestures to know that you're still human enough to care about people around you. Take for example, my hands were full today with bags and such, the men just walked past me with no intention to open the heavy door for me and when they do it to let themselves in, they didn't bother to keep it open for 5 more seconds so that i can get it??!! WTF!

Guys, you've got to learn to be more gentlemanly. You'll never know who you're going to meet. You are constantly being observed and one day, it might hit back at you. When you're nice, you will be remembered. I never thought white guys were in any way superior and in fact, i've only dated Asian guys. Don't let the girls remember the white trash and leave you behind. Stop complaining Singaporean girls don't like Singaporean boys.

Xiao Bai

Finally, "Xiao Bai" aka "Bunny" is here. I took it for a ride and you can really feel the turbo when the little meek looking car surged forward, it almost felt like someone installed rockets at the back of the car, pushing the car forward with the combustion. Yeah talking about combustion, it's probably not the most fuel efficient car around. Nonetheless, it's a good and fun drive. Well, "Monkey" and "CT" would find it hard to believe when i made a sharp turn of more than 90 degrees at a speed sedning your hair flying, technically in excess of 100km/h, it didn't prove to be so fun to them after all. But guys, trust me, i had my eyes opened all the time, i knew we're going to be safe and we could all feel the grip of the car alright? But when CT said, "Don't ever do that again... Well unless I'm drunk". That, freaked me out! I'll never be indecisive on the road again, although i drive like a bloody man.

Friday, March 23, 2007

Roadtrip, Yet Again.

Plans for Good Friday had been planned and changed yet again. The initial plans of going to Bangkok,then maybe Hong Kong, then became Bali then now, we're going to Malacca. It's like predestined i can't go anywhere too far, at most just across the Causeway. But we'll be going with "Monkey" and "Zhao Cai Mao" together with Monkey's colleagues. Guess it should be fun considering we'll be taking "Alibaba's" super bus so we'll all be crapping along the way. Simply can't wait...

We have so much plans on our palatte, i wonder when will we ever materialise them. Given by next year we wouldn't need to fork out some fixed expenses and possibly better remuneration along the way, we should be able to go for our Italian escape and Japanese retreat. Well unless i decide to do my NY bar, then i'll have to put it back to a later date. It's gonna cost me a bomb and i must say, i'm very tempted, as much as my current job doesn't require it, it will act like a safety net for me in case i'd ever want to go into practice, in fact, it'd help even if i were to go in-house.

I'm quite peeved at the moment with my work. Not that i'm not enjoying it, in fact i'm in tremendous joy to be moving forward. It has to boil down to the seating arrangement. Frankly, i'm alright here. However, a new colleague, well also a Aussie girl (maybe that's why), will be getting my favourite seat, the seat that i've always wanted. Window seat! Get it? And me, being here for these few months, working like a farm cow gets the everyone can see me, not so private seat. I'd love to reiterate, it's not that i'd go stuffs that i'm not allowed to do, it's just the ultimate discomfort of everyone looking into your screen. It's probably the first and only screen you can see when someone walk past the door. It's like big and bright staring right in your face when you step in. Fuck!

It's Natas fair this weekend, maybe i can start planning a small trip after "CT's" exams. We should take some time off this irritating and dog-eat-dog world.

I need to go for retail therapy...

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Intuition Kills

Have you girls ever felt when people interact, you get the "there's something between them" sort of feeling? Or could you girls feel the concern someone has for another in excess of a platonic relationship? Why am i just asking the girls? Simply because girls are the idiots who read too much and think too much and will more often than not, end up hurting only herself. I have to admit that i really felt it but i also have to come to terms that our intuition may not always be right. Even if it was, I've now chosen to think otherwise. It is not worth the while to destroy trust solely based on intuition. Intuition may sometime or one day, cause our doom. We've been too reliant on it for the largest part of our lives.

On an abnormal note, the burst of emotions can relief huge amounts of stressed piled up for some people. For me, i just remained too calm, too cold. I barely showed any emotion or shed a tear but inside me, i was just tearing up, entirely devastated by my own idiotic imagination. I felt that as per every other times, God was trying to take away things that doesn't belong to me, maybe because i don't deserve it, maybe i never had it, maybe... However, the love built in this short span has the elasticity and strength to withstand all these and it just emerged stronger. I'm enjoying more than ever. The joy of being in each other's arms just greatly increased in magnitude. The morning was grey and cloudy but the breeze was comfortable and you know, sunlight was just shining through without the heat. It felt good. You know the sun will shine through later.

Friday, March 16, 2007

Anger Management

Arguements are inevitable in relationships and i'm glad we haven't got much to argue. We have our occasionally over the board, taken too far sort of jokes but we know this doesn't affect how we feel about each other. I must say that the fear did set in when the silence slowly creeps into the discomfort zone but i know that for the love we share, it will end soon. The end hug was one of the most comfortable ever, to know that there's someone there to bear my nonsense, untimely silence and inability to take serious jokes.

Like we promised each other, we should always talk it through. Don't ever coop those anger inside you. Speaking about which, just got this email from "DGJ" on anger management, Enjoy!


When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know. I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialled it. A man answered, saying "Hello." I politely said, "This is David. Could I please speak with Robert Campbell ?"


Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f*ckin number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robert's correct number to call him, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.


After hanging up with him, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled " You're a C*nt!" and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'C*nt' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really badday, I'd call him up and yell, " You're a C*nt!" It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'C*nt' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from BT. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?"
He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're a C*nt!"

One day I was at Lakeside Shopping Centre, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a gunmetal grey Land Rover cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me.


I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first C*nt (I had his number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the Land Rover C*nt, too. I said, "Is this the man with the gunmetal grey Land Rover for sale?"
"Yes, it is", he said. "Can you tell me where I can see it?" I asked.
"Yes, I live at 129 Alice Street, in Ilford. It's a terraced house, and the car's parked right out in front."
"What's your name?" I asked. "My name is Steve Hansen," he said.
"When's a good time to catch you, Steve?" "I'm home most days as I'm currently unemployed."
"Listen, Steve, can I tell you something?" "Yes?" "Steve, you're a C*nt!" Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem, I had two arseholes to call. Then I came up with an idea. I called C*nt #1.
Hello." "You're a C*nt!" (But I didn't hang up.)
"Are you still there?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said.
"Stop calling me," he screamed.
"Make me," I said.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"My name is Steve Hansen."
"Yeah? Where do you live?"
"C*nt, I live at 129 Alice Street, Ilford, a terraced house, with my gunmetal grey Land Rover parked out the front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Steve. And you had better start saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, C*nt," and hung up.


Then I called C*nt #2. "Hello?" he said.
"Hello, C*nt," I said.
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
"You'll what?" I said.
"I'll kick your arse," he exclaimed.
I answered, "Well, C*nt, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."


Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 129 Alice Street, Ilford , and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 5 News about the hoodie war going down in Alice Street, Ilford.
I quickly got into my car and headed over to Alice Street. I got there just in time to watch two C*nts beating the crap out of each other in front of six police cars, an overhead police helicopter and a news crew.


NOW I feel much better.


Anger management really works...

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Blown Up Glove

Have you ever found yourself waking up early in the morning with a smile and a hand that looks like a blown up surgeon's glove sliding down your face, complete with "good morning" filled with morning breath? And yet you simply feel like the luckiest girl on earth?

I feel vulnerable, not in a bad way but i have no idea if it'll ever grow into something really nasty. When you can't get enough of someone and are in constant need to see or be in the company of one particular person, you risk getting too sticky for comfort; but when two person are sort of willingly sinking into this "you asked for it" vulnerability, it's actually enjoyable. We both know one day we'll just not feel the need to see or feel each other constantly; but right now, we're both just sunken in deep and can't quite get out of it... Do we even want to?

Right now, i'm just enjoying the moments we spend in the car on the way to work, when i just refuse to wake up and make an enormous fuss when some stupid alarm just couldn't go off, torturing myself with cold cold showers early in the morning! By cold cold shower i don't quite mean the extinguishing kind, but more of the freezing cold unheated water. It's a torture but to be able to see that face with that gayish smile, it's all worth it. I'm loving every moment of this.

One day we're be driving our Grand Vitara and pointing our middle finger at some sore driver who can't drive properly. We'll do our one click signal turnings and irritate the shit out of the other road users. We'll just go to work together even if it means there's pure silence. But we're aware and we can feel, the silence is actually comfortable in the midst of the mutual synchronicity.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

New Seat - Bad Bad Bad

My seat has changed again.

Now I'm not facing the sun nor is my big boss facing my screen but it's far worse. The whole world is facing my screen now. I can't even check my emails in peace now. Having the largest screen in the office is not helping either. My privacy is all gone. They are unwilling to put me in my favourite window seat for stupid reasons and now taking my away from the other seat but even more silly reasons. I'm feeling miserable. The sun in my eye was bad enough, now i have a reflective UFO looking thing in my eye. It's not making things any better though. From where i was, at least the sun wasn't that strong. Now, it's right in my eye. How clever. Was just telling "DGJ" how interesting it is to tell them I'll be resigning one day and the reason being "I'm stuck in a bad seat".

Seriously, it's not because I'm fussing about it, now can you work while seated in the most uncomfortable place in the whole wide world? Besides, your loud colleague is just right in front of you. With his voice amplifying your face, I'm almost sure i can't hear myself over phonecalls nor think and type properly in my emails. If you've heard the corny remarks he makes, you really wouldn't wanna be laughing to them.

Monday, March 12, 2007

Office Expansion

Guess it's good that my office has just doubled in terms of size over the weekend. That will also mean that I'll be doing real recruitment jobs and more people will be hired doing the support work. Frankly, I'm not exactly enjoying this. My back is facing the door, extremely bad fengshui, not that it matters but that will mean that I'm actually looking at the nice view with the sun in my eyes and after a while, i keep seeing stars. It's really bad for my eyes and i should be like wearing sunnies or something while I'm working. I hate it. I feel miserable. My big boss happen to be sitting right behind me as well, and really, haven't got much to hide just superbly uncomfortable to have everyone looking at your screen. It feels invasive and i feel bare. My heart is constantly beating real hard with fear that someone might just pounce up on me of a sudden. Now i know what it means by bad fengshui. You're so emotionally affected, you can't really work. I genuinely hate it. I never hated something so much for a long time. I'm risking my damned life to be blogging this but i don't care because this will be the last time I'm doing this. If I'm doing to be pinned for taking 5 mins doing what i want, I'd be out of the door sooner than you think.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Music and Lyrics

I won't say that this movie is a must watch but unless you love Hugh Grant. Look, which girls don't actually take a second look at this guy, you've got to admit he looks fabbo for his age. At 40, all men should look like this. Then again, it'd be like a gay city. It's a relief to know he still like sex, with women of course. Behind closed doors may be that i would never know and have no intentions of finding out. The show is more of Hugh Grant than Drew Barrymore. Well at least to me, she's more like a support than the lead. Of course, i'm biased, he's cute and i can't resist a charming chiselled looking, blue eye bloke.

In modern times, we always look at songs as music plus lyrics but have we forgotten the Bach and Beethoven? Lyrics have played many crucial roles in the lives of you and me. Well at least to me, as you can see from the previous posts, i've never undermined the power of lyrics and the impact it creates. "Would you lie with me and just forget the world" talks about my inner desire yet came through when "Chubby Teddy" appeared and you wouldn't believe how much it digs into me and how strongly i feel for the meanings of the song on a different level. It's like a hidden yet blatant desire and now, fulfilled. I'm sorry i don't quite sound coherant right now and like many other times, i never try to be simply because i'm writing this blog like the way i feel at this instant and you should be able to imagine me telling you this as if i'm putting down a narration in black and white.

Music and lyrics are like Yin and Yang and it'll go hand in hand. Cheesy as it may sound, i'm sure there're lyrics to the most classical and instrumental pieces around. They all tell a story, whether we see it, feel it, relate to it, is a totally separate issue. They all have moods, emotions, up and downs, you just have to search within yourself for the lyrics that should go with the music of your heart.

I found my lyrics, have you found your music?

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Getting A Heart Attack!

To have steamboat for dinner is always comforting and satisfying. To have it with fun people just topped it in the charts. Found a fellow bottomless pit, while the others stare aimlessly into space with their tummies bloated with an overload of food, both of us just smiled and kept eating ignoring the boredom on their faces.

The steamboat happened the night before and the whole of yesterday since steamboat till now, i had this pain in my chest and i had difficulty breathing. Doctor told me it could just be bronchitis but i still gotta watch out for tingling sensation on my fingertips or on my left hand cuz that might mean i'm on my way to a cardiac arrest and should be at the A&E immediately.

Every morning should just start like this morning. Arriving early for work, seeing the person you love, get your daily supply of hugs and kisses, followed by good breakfast. It's all good till you get just one irritating bugger turning up the volume of the radio, not that the music is bad, but the selfish nature of not sparing a thought for other people, really pissed me off. How i wish some things remained the way it began. It doesn't affect me as much that some people leave a part of my life but it's the entrance of unwelcomed people. I tried to accept some things or people with an open heart but they just continue to prick you every now and then till you get unbearably pissed, you just switch off and ignore. Now, i can't be bothered. I'm just feeling more and more miserable as time passes.

Why can't we just have drinks on Friday?

Monday, March 05, 2007

Yum Yum Lunch

We have a new colleague in our office today, our brand new admin assistant. Round of applause... For me! I'm so glad the load is slowly being removed from my puny shoulders. Talking about that, i need to do something about my stiff shoulders. I'm wondering would the culprit be my pillow, my sitting posture, my keyboard with super short wiring or my bra straps. Whatever it is, my shoulders are aching and i feel terrible. I'm going to get new pillows, new keyboard, new bras and make sure this situation improve. I can't possibly sit here for 10 hours bearing the unbelieveable ache, it's impossible and insane. Should you be aware of any other cause of aching neck, please tell me.

Lunch was alright today. As usual, with every new colleague joining us, we'll go out for lunch. Went to Fullerton today, wasn't my first visit there and knew exactly what i wanted before i even got there, i can't resist good beef. Will upload picture when i get home.

My plans to go Bangkok during the Good Friday weekend was almost changed when Monkey suggested, or rather, coerced us to go Hong Kong instead. Frankly, i'm tempted but the factors holding me back would be the cost and of course, i'll get to go to Hong Kong end of this year again with my company if my boss decide to fly us up again like they've been doing for the past 2 years (For me, last year). So we've decided to stick to our Bangkok plans for now.

Sunday, March 04, 2007

My New Evo Looking Black iPod Nano

Sorry Jem, couldn't make it to hard rock last night. Promise it won't happen again. I feel so bad.

I slept really early last night, before i even got to brush my teeth, i simply dozed off. Meaning, i never intended to zzz off but was just too tired. It's been a hectic week but i'm enjoying every minute of it. Later in the morning, we're bringing "Purple Pony Princess" for breakfast and ice-cream yippee! Well, ice-cream for breakfast, doesn't it sound like somthing i always do? Haha, i've gotta admit, i'm a weirdo!

My new phone had been servicing me well for the past 24 hours and it's really fun. Well, i got myself into the "irritate myself to death" shit when i bought the idiotic, un-user friendly Samsung. I'm glad i'm back to my SonyEricsson.

BTW, i got my Nano! The 8gB black and fierce, Evo looking iPod. Haven't got a chance to use it yet but i thought it came as a great deal cuz they gave me a $64 voucher which i used it to get the earphones. Think it's way cool. Now, go out and get it!

Think i wanna go back and catch some zzzs before breakfast.

Friday, March 02, 2007

I'm Psychopathic!

You Are 72% Abnormal

You are at high risk for being a psychopath. It is very likely that you have no soul.

You are at high risk for having a borderline personality. It is very likely that you are a chaotic mess.

You are at high risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is very likely that you are in love with your own reflection.

You are at high risk for having a social phobia. It is very likely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement.

You are at medium risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is somewhat likely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.


How You Are In Love

You fall in love quickly and easily. And very often.

You give completely and unconditionally in relationships.

You need your space and privacy. You don't like to be smothered.

You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.

You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

Care Bear Cousin: Playful Heart Monkey

Went for dinner with Dad, Mom, my favourite cousin and her two adorable daughters like night. Yes, the 2 of them were "the usual suspects". I hang out with them most of the time, well until "Chubby Teddy" took my weekends away from them. Well i didn't neglect them because of that, it's due to the discomfort of other factors now but i want you guys to know i still love you guys.

After dinner, we just shopped around and i came upon a huge, not gigantic but huge Monkey Care Bear. I've always loved Care Bear but never quite paid much attention to Care Bear cousins but the MONKEY!!! Well, FYI, i was born in the year of the Golden Monkey and i'm pretty much like a monkey. I can't keep still still and i can be relly mischeivous. I hate to say this but i'm as intelligent as well. Wahahaha!!! It's yellow and really caught my attention.

What really shocked me was Dad actually asked me if i wanted it. Dad had never quite gotten me toys and i really apreciate the gesture. Dad, being a fair Dad, will give my brother that amount in cash. I'm glad i got the toy because i've been looking for a nice toy which i can hug to sleep and this couldn't have came at a better time and for once i can say, "Dad got me this!". I love my Dad. Will post a picture on the toy once it's feasible.