You Have Munchausen Syndrome!

You know who you are and you're suffering from this. I wish you never get to read this because i never intended for you to read my blog. But somehow, i think you do read my blog and you found out using some underhand, unscrupulous method to get here. I'm telling you that you're suffering from Munchausen Syndrome! I read about this syndrome during law school but forgot it actually existed. It suddenly came to me, there is such a syndrome and you're a victim of it. Go see a shrink!

For those of you who's wondering what the fuck is Munchausen Syndrome, it's a type of fictitious mental disorder. People suffering from Munchausen will feign disease or illness to fish for sympathy. It may not be entirely false but there's always plenty of room for exaggeration.

I know you're just full of shit and feigning it. I know that so stop trying to bullshit me and stop your constant need for sympathy. You do not fucking deserve it and i do not fucking care. Go fucking far away from me!

Show Me The Money!

Once again, it's Mom's birthday. This year, we'll be having a scrumptious one with the usual suspects.

That's not the good news i've intended to deliver though. According to my boss, i'll be moving to do REAL work when the wall comes down end March but even better, i'm getting my own assistant. I'm thrilled!

Well, she'll technically be everyone's assistant but she's be taking over all my mundane jobs and i'll be moving on to do the big money making deals. I can so hear the ka-ching now. Then again, my credit card bill didn't quite succeed in surprising me this month. Well, it's not so much that i underspend because i've anticipated from the pre & post Chinese New Year shopping frenzy that i'll be on the gullotine real soon. Fortunately, i've got an unexpected little bonus and two big amounts from some merchants didn't quite meet off the cut off time set by our friend, Citibank, so it wasn't reflected on my current statement. However, "Chubby Teddy" gently reminded me that it's just like impending death, you'll just be like waiting for next month to die so i better not splurge my puny bonus on some state-of-the-art gadget. Maybe i'll just camp here for my iPhone.

Went to Jheraton last night and we ended up just bluetoothing each other. How exciting. If you think i've spelled Sheraton wrongly, that's not true. It's intentional. Well, we're all J so some monkey is going to name his kids, Jerk and Jitch oh and maybe Jee-bye. Wahaha i swear we were insane but i must say, it was fun. "Monkey" and "BR" can be so shitty but the fun that came with it, it's worth getting kicked on your shin!!!

And I Thought I Was Like 99% Vainpot.

You Are 62% Vain

You're a little vain, but you also work hard for your good looks. Just remember, everyone knows you are a total hottie. You don't have to remind them.

How Vain Are You?

The Pursuit Of Happyness

It's been such a typical Monday morning. Everything felt lazy and sedate until you click Send/Receive on your Outlook, only to get tons of emails coming in without a stopper. Subsequently, you'll go into this mad no break working frenzy then of a sudden, you'll realise, hey i need my breakfast or my morning tea. Getting those feet to walk to the pantry was torturous. Then i look back, how the weekend actually went, it sent a smile across my face. It wasn't exciting or exceptional, it was as sedate if not even more lethargic. All i wanted to do was to lie in bed and not get up. The temptation of McDonald's breakfast didn't quite succeed.


It can't get any better than waking up slowly to catch the next show and aptly titled, The Pursuit Of Happyness. It wasn't one of those superbly brilliant shows but I'll recommend it just because it's a touching story based on the real life of Chris Gardner. Will Smith did a great job together with his son Jaden. The most touching scene had to be the one they hid in the "cave", running away from the rest of the world seeking shelter in a toilet. It will trigger some soft spot if not your tears. Go watch it and tell me what you think.

I found my happyness by just staying in bed whole day long...

Bathroom Habits

What Your Bathroom Habits Say About You

You are a very considerate person, but that doesn't mean you let people walk all over you. You spend a lot on clothes, and you tend to be a very dresser. However, it's hard for you to throw away trendy clothes when they go out of style. You are a very outgoing person. You are true to yourself, and you never hold back. In relationships, you tend to be very romantic and demanding. You'll treat your partner like gold, but you expect a lot in return.

What Do Your Bathroom Habits Say About You?

We Shall Go For Drinks...

Chinese New Year had always been alot of fun and endless gambling. This year was just weird. It's not so much that i can't go visiting or the drop in red packet collection, it's just lifeless. The gambling were boring, the people were all troubled and i eventually escaped to KL for a short break. KL was fine but i can't believe that i didn't even buy anything, not even a pair of shoes. I'm amazed with myself. I think the mood just wasn't right.

Few people came back for CNY. "Oscarised" and "Gentle Giant" were both stuck in Sydney. "NY Dweller" came back but i merely met him once to collect the shopping i managed to do sitting at home but needed him to lug it all back for me. It's weird to know that "Mr Bright" and "NY Dweller" were once schoolmates. I've always tried to keep in contact with "ND" by calling him during the weirdest hour and grumbling about everything. Until one day he went like, "you know i'm dating someone, don't you?". Well how am i suppose to know if you never mentioned it? Not like it really matter. The only difference was prior to any calls, i'll ask if he could speak. Sounds like an underground affair right. No, it's not. He's just got a ________(fill in the blank) girlfriend. If he doesn't pick up, i know his gf is just near him or he's over at her place. For God's sake, pick up the phone! I'm just a regular friend, making a regular phonecall to check if you're alright, not too stressed with work, not arguing with your gf or something.

Well he's back. We planned to meet up for dinner. Didn't quite work out. Might meet him for drinks, if he doesn't cancel it at the very last minute. According to him, i've got 2% of his time and it's a really GREAT deal. All i wanted was to catch up with you. Well, it might be better off just calling you fortnightly. At the evry least, you had time to talk.

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

How many of us can actually hum to the tune of "I'll Be There For You"? How many of us can actually remember the episode that Ross went to the sun tan parlour to get a tan and ended like looking at a sun burnt Greek bloke? How about the episode which Chandler, while trying to get into the advertising industry, thought of all the funny taglines like "Donuts, Bagels but with a hole in the middle." or "Pen. Pencil but permanent." Well can't remember the exact line though... When we were younger, do the girls around you fight over who's going to be Monica or Rachel and who else is an absolute Phoebe? I'm sure at some point in time, we were all capable of singing "Smelly Cat".

When i was much younger, i used to discuss with my best friends, how our apartment is going to be like and the essence of having a common apartment was portrayed in FRIENDS, simply being with your closest friends and share your lives together and to grow up through endless arguements. This is just not realistic in real life due to the high cost of living and mundane stufs and the reality of arguements actually ruining the friendship overnight.

Even if i could live in an apartment with my bestest friends, i might not do it simply because it's tough to be staying under one roof and the conflicts that arises may not serve to build the friendster but may destroy it. I don't really have OCD but i can be very particular with the general cleanliness of the house and such. I'm sure it's not going to be easy. I'd rather stay alone, how ironic.

Is True Love Possible?

How many of us can actually remember our first love?

How many of us actually forget how beautiful it was?

How many of us actually face objections from everywhere but still determined to go on? Is it possible to just hang on? Do we hang on to prove the world or is it just true love? I just wanna give those of you who are facing difficulties in life or in love, to have a little courage to do what your heart tells you. I took a step forward. Now, i'm actually smiling, something i haven't quite done it genuinely for a very long time.

Like myself, some people just seem bubbly and chirpy all the time on the outside but in actual fact, the pain that's going through the person, you can only guess but never find out.

When you need to cry, you have to cry. There's always someone out there willing to lend you the much needed listening ear and the warm comfy shoulder to lean on. However, you will have to make the first step to get out there, recognise the problem and find the solution. Many times, there may not necessarily be solutions readily available but when there's hope, there's always a brighter day tomorrow. The sun will always shine for us.

JJJJJJeeeeggggiiieee Dai Gah Jhe

When i first came into my current company, i was the happiest camper ever. The best ever colleagues, the best ever boss, the best ever Dai Gah Jhe. "DGJ" used to be a practising lawyer and has always struck me as a superbly intelligent person, fun to be with, excellent cook and a great mentor only second to my ex-boss, "GooLeeEr". "DGJ" is like the big sister whom i've never had who looks after me, shoosh me when my untame mouth leaks, brings me yummy pavlovas and pull me to meetings simply to help me pick up stuffs i should be learning but am not.

When i found out that she was leaving, my tears just came down like a running tap. The office is going to be so different. "GooLeeEr" left and the office has already evolved to a form i can't even recognise and on some days, dread coming in. Now that "DGJ" is going leave, don't think the office will change vastly but to me, my world will be altered. I don't want her to leave but i know she'll be much happier somewhere else. I can see myself running down to Boat Quay to whine and wine with her.

"DGJ" has got the nicest dress sense. She's one of the best cook i've ever come across. But most importantly, she's my "stairwell" buddy. Without her, my world will just lose the "it" in stuffs. Who can i bitch and complain to when i go to the stairwell in future? I guess life just has to move on but one thing i'm sure of is, "Once a DGJ, always a DGJ"

Chris...

I wasn't grumpy or anything dear. I was just too tired from work. In actual fact, i was elated to get your message. Happy Valentines' babe. You know i'll always miss you and have time for you. I understand it's tough to be there alone, without your Dad, Mom, Sis, Oscar, MEEEE!!!! But i'll always be here if you need to talk or rather, i'll haunt you down when you need to talk. Will call you soon, i promise. I have so much to tell you...

Happy Valentines' Day

Initially i was in anticipation, then i decided not to put my hopes high so i won't get disappointed. You came and conquered me. You were standing there at 12 midnight, with the flowers and chocolates, and that silly smile of yours simply tells me that i'm such a lucky girl. One of my nephew,"Didi" once told me, chocolates and flowers are on top of the most unwelcomed gift list and i agreed with him then, but now i do think differently. The sender and his/her sincerity is of utmost importance, i'm telling you from first hand experience. Thank you for all the love you've been showering on me and i'm happily drowning in it.

Receiving flowers doesn't automatically equates to happiness. Got a bouquet from "Domestic Help Royalty" this morning and i wasn't even happy. In actual fact, i was vexed. Doesn't he get the message? I don't reply his smses or emails. That says alot.

Valentines' Day remains a girls' night out. We're intending to stuff ourselves then do further damage to our livers. Right now, everyday feels like Valentines' Day to me.

Chasing Cars

I couldn't stop smiling ever since last night.

It's like a Porsche Cayenne, it's weird, it's nice, it's like a monster consuming you but you just wanna be in it. When you're in it, you feel protected, lucky and loved.

It's been a long time since my heart had beaten faster than a helicopter's rotors. It felt good. Well if i don't die from tachycardia that is.

It's such a wonderful feeling to be wrapped up, snuggled up to and protected from the unpleasantness of the mundane world.

I could get used to this...

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes
They're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things
Will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Haven't Smiled Like This For A Long Time...

Why am i working at 4.30am on a Saturday morning? Why am i bothered to be clearing my emails from home? I guess it's all due to the very fact that i was ridiculously late today. Don't think i should elaborate on it but for once, i felt genuinely apologetic. It's just a bad day and i began the day a really bad way. I hope i'll bedoing real work soon...

Something happened today and it felt like it had not happen to me for a long time. It's weird, in a positive way. I can't say i'm confused, maybe just trying to be careful when it comes to what i categorise as important decisions in my life. At the same time, it's not that i don't want to put myself in a new and vulnerable position, i guess i'm just afraid to get hurt in the process. Maybe i should be more adventurous and not think too much. Besides, at this moment, i know i'm smiling from inside.

I think i should try to sleep before Singapore Zoo sends their headhunter to my place in search of a new panda for the zoo.

I Didn't Fish For This Catfish...

Do we enjoy fishing inevitably?

I met this "Domestic Help Royalty" at the gym recently and subsequently, we just for lunch twice. I should know he's interested and just siam right but i didn't and said yes to lunch. The first one was alright but the second one was a torture. He's just geeky and seriously, not my type. He kept asking, so when are you going to quit drinking? Are you going to quit this quit that? I've only met him for lunch the second time and he's asking if i wanna quit this and that? Alright, off to the bin you go. Well you can't believe how persistant he became. He sends me emails automatically updating me the status of his internet access, his work, his coming trip, his dinner with his friends and it kept coming even if i didn't reply. Then he insisted he needed to get a gift for me for my graduation but i do not want a gift, at least not from him.

Then he called. I was really pissed and busy because i came into work really late today and i had so much on my palate, let alone it's really tough to talk when my boss is sitting just one arm length away from me??!! For the rest of the day, he just texted me NON STOP! HELP! Is there a way to tell him that i do not want to go out with him tactfully? I only want a normal, lunchtime friend. I do not want a bf, not him at least. I wasn't even fishing him. I swear i never gave out or sent the wrong messages. I didn't really sms either. He's getting my my nerves!!!

THE FAT CLUB

I've blogged about "The Fat Club" some time ago while talking to "Jit Eh Knight" then my computer screwed up and it was all deleted. Totally pissed. It was a really really long entry with detailed descriptions of all my big big brothers. After having mid-night dim sum which i really regretted having but enjoyed it nonetheless, I'm going to try to recreate a similar post and add in additional comments and a picture of them when i get home. What has dim-sum gotta do with these people right? That's because i was talking to "Mr Bright" and talked about these guys and realise how much memories there are behind us. You might find new and interesting stuffs everytime you come back to this post to read it again since i'm going to add more stuffs within this one or two days.

Here's a picture of most of the members of "The Fat Club",


"Tua Tao" aka "Razor Ramon" (7th from the left of top row - The Groom) is well-known for his rubber-band time. He got married recently and is having a ball in Shanghai right now. "Red Bean Soup", his wife, had stopped working and is now a full time wife shopping away in Shanghai. I wish i can be there... His wife is like the perfect person for him. Apart from her, nobody can possibily take the ridiculous shit from him. Don't be mistaken, he's not a bad person, in fact i think he's one of the smartest and matured person in the entire group and relatively more considerate than some idiots among us. His sister was my buddy in primary school so i kinda know his entire family, er sort of. Got closer to him since... I guess since i knew "Ketaya" and we made it a point to meet everyone after work to probably catch a movie and have dinner. "Ketaya" and "Tua Tao" had been friends since forever!

"Ketaya" (Second from the 1st Row) is the king of "The Fat Club" until "Gor Gor" took over. "Ketaya" may be big but he's a softee inside. He's probably the sweetest person in the group or rather the sweetest person i've ever known. He doesn't show it like the way he shows off his hundreds of gigabytes of "colourful" videos but i know, he's a man with the heart in the right place. It's a pity that he continues to make little progress in his love life. He's a really attractive person. His personality makes him a very popular figure among this group. You've gotta love this gentle giant.

"Gor Gor" (3rd from left of 1st Row) is "Sleazy Sweetie"'s big brother, as in the blood related sort. "Gor Gor" has been almost like a real big brother to me and sayang me like his real baby sis. I still have a text message he sent me that went, "U know wat? I still think u r a very misunderstood & sweet gal despite wat others say abt u. Like an uncut diamond! I wld hv pamper u to death if u r my real baby sis." We'd go to the KTV and he'll just sit there to listen to me sing, it's fun but can be embarrassing but what the heck right, they're all my big brothers. I try to pick up a couple of Jolin Tsai's song just to please him since he's totally in love with Jolin Tsai. I know he loves me like a big brother but DON'T ever try to matchmake me. Well, unless they meet the cut of the ultimate stringent Fat Club test. Ha!

I used to hate "Sleazy Sweetie" (Not in the picture due to RESERVIST - HAHA!) to the max. He never fails to irritate me, poke fun at me, suan me, disturb me but i know, deep down, he seriously cares for me. Whenever i'm down and out with all sorts of problems, he's always there to give me the hug that i desperately need and console me. But of course at the very same time, he'll grumble as to how stupid i can be to fall into certain traps when this bunch of guys have already set the extreme examples of what sort of tricks guys pull and hope guys go about misleading girls and why guys are such. He'll just say that i never learn then hug me then send me home. I'm glad he found his little Thai girl and that he's a happy man now. You're always be my shoulder, right?

"Jit Eh Knight" (3rd from Right - 1st Row) is the kind of guy you wish he's your boyfriend because he's just so understanding, sweet, considerate... But you sort of fall into the "friends zone" with him very comfortably faster than you know it. Well at least he's got like the sweetest gf on earth. She's a gem. they look perfect together and well, equally funny. Although "Jit Eh Knight" cracks jokes that makes you wanna pull all your hair off, you learn to appreciate his sort of humour and take left nipple jokes like a pinch of salt. (Have to say this before he murders me, he's not fat!)

"Dog Lover Egg" (Second from Right - 1st Row) is someone i'll always have fun with. We blast down the KTVs in Singapore, we sing like we've just escaped from IMH, the fun we had in KTVs are beyond words. He's someone who will sing, scream, laugh with me, ALL THE TIME. At the same time, we're like food buddies. We love food, all sorts, the more fattening, the better it is. Haha. He's hell of a joker and never fails to crack me up. He's got a Maltese that won so many competitions and has so much money that it had to get it's own bank account and the dog's already enough sponsorship to last it's lifetime. Dog's life. How ridiculous.

The 1st on the left of both rows, they're an entity, "Tai Tai In Making" and "Prank Meister". They're the funniest couple you'll ever meet. We will always come up with some sort of prank or idiotic plans. During Tua Tao's wedding, when the above picture was taken, "Prank Meister" came up with this wonderful plan to fool "Black Sheep" (The Fat Chubby thing on the right of the picture).

Apparently, "Black Sheep" was interested in one of the waitresses and under peer pressure, he gave his number to the girl. "Prank Meister" got me to call him since the poor boy hasn't got my number. Well, you see, he hates me cuz i fight with him over the last chicken wing ALL THE TIME. Well this chubby thing actually believed that i'm his "Siew Ling" and he never stopped texting me for the next two days. But i felt so bad the next day that we had to do our usual Simpang thing, get him out and told him the truth. You will never believe how hard we laughed. Poor chap.

The 4th head from the right is "Mr Nice Guy". He's "Gor Gor"'s best friend and he's like this big brother always looking out for me. He's always there, without fail, to man my bag when i go socialising and drinking at Balaclava or when i needed people to listen to me. Ya he's a man of few words and he always listens.

The other fatties who aren't in this picture, apart from "Sleazy Sweetie" will be "Filipino Husband" and "Civic-ing".

I guess it's not too much to say i grew up around "Filipino Husband". I think i knew him since forever and he used to stay just almost right opposite me. So i just got to shout and he'll pop his head out of the window and we'll talk. But he's happily married now so don't know him well enough at this point in time to be able to comment on anything. I just wish that he's happy.

"Civic-ing" is the skinniest among all of them and he always say he's very fit for a 30 year old man and i must say, he is. As far as my memory serve me, he's always been driving a Civic and he's getting a new one soon! He's like my personal cabby, whenever i'm lost i'll just call him and he'll be screaming, "what building do you see now?". He's my buddy and i love hanging out with him cuz he makes me laugh all the time with his silly brainless humour. Whenever i feel lonely and needed someone to have dinner with me, he's always there. But he never joins us for Simpang nowadays... Because he lives in reality time and we're all living in borrowed nocturnal time. He's a good man and i know life will be good to him.

I've tried rewrite this as much as i can remember from history. It may not be very well written because i'm mentally and physically exhausted these couple of days. But all of the above that i wrote, truly came within the voice inside me. I love the bunch of you and you guys have created lovely prints in my life which i'd love to have it with me all my life. This bunch of Big Gor Gors have always taken very good care of me like a baby sister. They've saved me from many empty lonely voids that i'd have never gotten out of without them. You guys are the BEST!

原点 - 现在他在你的身边就对他好一点

拥抱的时候心情有点痛
也去提早感受到寂寞
离开的时候只听见沉默
除了沉默我还能怎么做选择
别对我抱歉别总觉得对我亏欠
现在他在你的身边就对他好一点
不要再让你们的爱败给了时间
既然遇见了永远就不要说再见
不要再让你们的爱输给了永远
我们经过那么多考验
最后还是回到了原点

总有那一天相遇的瞬间
确定那些冷漠的从前已走远
别对我抱歉别总觉得对我亏欠
现在谁在你的身边就对谁好一点

我应该就走开就算感情还在
我应该就放开对他不再依赖
忘了曾有过的片段这是属于你们的未来

不要看到你们的爱败给了时间
我能愿选择离别没有一句怨言
直到你能若无其事聊起了从前
我才发现彼此都了解
默契是最宝贵的语言

Happy Birthday to The Funniest Boss Ever

Happy Birthday, "Comedy Boss"!

It's the birthday of my Singapore office's boss. The last year, it must have been a great year for him since, he's got a new baby and of course, he hired me! Well, not forgetting the big placements he made and tolerating me whenever i come in late.

"Comedy Boss", if you ever read this while spying on me, it's been great working with you and for you. I'll try to do it better but i can't promise i'll be early everyday. In this coming year, have more fun, make more money and probably try for another baby. When you're so free to be reading this, it's about time you gave me a raise!

Carpe diem!

V Day Refugee

We were so late today. Met BR on the train and we both have puffy, swollen eyes. Anyone can tell we're terribly sleep deprived. Serve us right for watching TV till the wee hours on this only night that we can rest our livers from all the alcohol during the week. At the rate we're NOT resting, i doubt our livers will see any improvement.

BR, i don't care if you're going to "old folks home" on Valentines' Day but i'm extending my invitation to you to spend it with me. Alright, i'm pathetically appealing to you to spend it with me. C'mon, take pity in me. I don't wanna spend V Day looking at idiots madly in love walking around and i can't find a place to sit down for dinner. Maybe we should just come out and get some alcohol in our systems and go home for an early night. Well, i know you will be immersed in your bed of roses with "o'folk", i'm just trying my luck.

I do not want to spend my V Day with "Domestic Help Royalty"! If anyone of you have plans, mahjong or bowling or pool or alcohol or movies, just bring me along and save me from all the torture. Otherwise, i'll just have to say yes to "Domestic Help Royalty" and go on another unexciting date with him. It's so sad to be screaming "DATE ME!" on the internet and i'm still being picky here with whom i wanna spend it with.

You know what, i'll buy some popcorn and stay at home to watch the DVDs i've bought 2000 years ago and haven't got a chance to watch.

Jesus Take The Wheel

Today was pretty aimless except for BR's effort to get enough people to satisfy our mahjong crave. Mahjong urge was satisfied with painful loss of instant cash. It's just part and parcel of gambling i guess and i'm all ready for it. Chinese New Year is expected to be alot worse than this. The past few years, the amount of loss and winnings on our family's in between games was enough to give anyone a small fortune. I must admit i've donated quite a bit there. All in all, it's all good fun.

The biggest loss today was to be my brother's paymaster for his Chinese New Year shopping. He's still studying part time and his miserly pay wasn't enough to pay for new clothes so i thought i'll be a nice sister to get him stuffs. I didn't quite hear the thank you i was expecting to hear but i felt happy that i could provide for my family now though not in a big way, i'll just start small.

I'm at this crossroad that i don't want to rush my life. My career is barely a career but i hope i can do it bit by bit and build my "empire". I hope i can excel in what i'm doing because i've decided to stay where i am and do something i like. I remember seeing this from somewhere, "Love your job and you won't have to work a single day in your life". I can't say i'm loving my job right now because there's just so much that i have to do and i think i can do alot more than that but it's a stepping stone and inevitably part of the learning process. I will grit my teeth and get over this and i shall emerge a winner. I want and will be a winner.

My love life is barely in existence. Valentines' Day is just round the corner and the sms from my "Jie Mei" selling roses just seem like it's laughing into my face. There was one year, my "Jie Mei" sent me flowers for V Day because i never seem to get past a V Day without being alone yet again. I told "Miss Flower" that some women do long to be in a relationship sometimes just because we desire to be in one and you may not even love the player of the game at all. Maybe it's just sour grapes because i haven't found the player to this games. We all want to find someone who will pamper us and love us, how many of us have found them and realise that we like them as well. I would give my everything but if there's only someone who would want to take this everything. Few would, those who would just doesn't encourage me to want to pass them my all. Haven't i come to an age that i should just be less choosy? Beggers can't be choosers, ain't it? I wish someone can just hold my hand, he's someone i can look at everyday as i wake up from my bed and hope i'll just stay in bed for another second just because he's there with me. Some people will never be the person whom you would want to spend your Sunday mornings sunggling with, some people just choose not to.

I'm tired of this game. I don't want to be a pawn or even the game. I don't want to be a player. I just want to be a part of you and your life. You'e someone i'm longing to meet but i guess, i haven't met you yet.

Part of a song by Carrie Underwood:

Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands'
Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
Give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel

Volvo S40 T5

Was at my boss' poolside bbq and got to drive my other boss' brother-in-law's car. Did that sound confusing? Alright then, i got to drive the S40 T5 supped up and the handling, grip, pick up was just fabulous. Now i really want that car. It has always been the car i wanna buy to be driving on our roads but the misfortune being, i can't afford it, for now that is. The ride was smooth, suspension was a big hard but pretty expected given the gigantic rim size. Simply love it. I want that car!

Began with copious amount of champagne over the afternoon. Food was alright, a little too oily. The combination of oily food and alcohol was just disgusting and i really felt like throwing up. I didn't puke but it continued to feel really disgusting as the day went on.

BR called and asked if i wanted to do dinner. Thank God we had Chinese. Then she suggested mahjong. which really hyped me up for a while until we couldn't find players. Ran through my phone list and no, can't find a single soul. So now, i have the craving to play mahjong and no one would entertain me.

Just came back from St. James and it's actually my first time there. Swa Koo right? Bellini was alright, jazz is always easy and soothing but after a while, i got tired. I wasn't quite drunk, little tipsy but i didn't had like alot of alcohol today. In fact after the guzzling of champagne in the afternoon (Which i expected it to wear off by the end of dinner), i only had like two sips of whiskey at Bellini. I guess with all the unhappiness inside me, it was easy to want to feel drunk and you just get really high easily.

I'm too sleepy, going to bed. Thanks for visiting my blog guys. Haven't got much interesting stuffs recently but i'll fill you guys in with more interesting stuffs whenever i can. It's so crappy that i met so many cute guys out there but fuck lah. What the fuck is wrong with me?

Pain

It has never been easy to define pain with words. Pain had been a heart wrenching experience for me, physically and emotionally. When in pain emotionally, it's weird that you can actually feel the physical ache tugging your heart. It's the sort of feeling which makes you feel like crying and at times you can find tears to pour it out, at other times, you just bear with the pain and hope that you can scream out loud and someone hears you and comes over to give you a hug in their strong arms. More often than not, the latter scenario never happens. Drinking makes asking for hugs easy. However, when you're in the hug of another, you're sceptical as to whether it's the hug you have been longing or desiring for.

Crying is a process whereby one is able to let go of part of the pain through their actions but what if we're unable to tear. The pain remains. No amount of alcohol can wash the pain away as much i'd want it to. Many believe miracles will happen, i know it wouldn't but you just hope for things that will never happen to happen to you. We always have some space for hope even though the chances are near impossibility. Pain is indescribable.

I wish you're here with me...

Food, Drinks and More Drinks

It's been a fun day except for the running around the entire early part.

As per every other month, we have a day we do afterwork drinks and today is the day of the month. Dinner was at Tapas Tree @ Clarke Quay. Food was alright but the service sucked big time. Do not order the red sangria, urgh pooo... Didn't quite left the place till late. We were headed for Ministry of Sound and it wasn't fantastic. The crowd... What crowd? The dance floor was empty and mind you, it was already 11pm. The night wasn't that young.

Next was Cafe Del Mar. According to BR, it was the perfect place for eye candy. Wasn't too packed but sure was enjoyable. I like it there 'cept for the fact that i was in jeans and it was really tough to get out of the bloody place. It's not only right in the other end of Sentosa, it's like some 5 or 10 mins walk from Rasa Sentosa. Luckily, Dad is always to my rescue. Love Dad.

5 Important Lessons

1 - First Important Lesson

Cleaning Lady

During my second month of college, our professorgave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions until I read the last one:"What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?"

Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall,dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank.

Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade."Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say "hello".

I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned hername was Dorothy.

2. - Second Important Lesson

Pickup in the Rain

One night, at11:30 p.m., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rainstorm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car.

A young white man stopped to help her, generallyunheard of in those conflict-filled 1960s. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance, and put her into a taxicab.She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him.

Seven days went by and aknock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached..It read:"Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's bedside just before he passed away... Godbless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others."

Sincerely, Mrs. Nat King Cole.

3 - Third Important Lesson

Always Remember Those Who Serve

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water infront of him."How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked.

"Fifty cents," replied the waitress. The little boy pulled is hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it."Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired. By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient."Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied. The little boy again counted his coins."I'll have the plain ice cream," he said.

The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice-cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table.

There, placed neatly beside the empty dish,were two nickels and five pennies.. You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.

4 - Fourth Important Lesson

The Obstacle in Our Path

In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed theKing for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.

Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a notef rom the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand!

Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improveour condition.

5 - Fifth Important Lesson

Giving When it Counts

Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz whow as suffering from a rare & serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat theillness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister.

I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes I'll do it if it will save her." As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheek. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away".

Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.

Why Women Love To Sing Along With 张惠妹

Went to chamber 82 yet again. It's not the sort of place you'll be wowed with but i had quite a bit of fun there. When i first went there, some sleazy alleged thief brought me there and i was quite sceptical about the place until the owner came out to play games with me. When i needed someone to sing the duet with me, i can always get him. Yes you guessed it, it's a KTV sort of pub, but it's quite a hangout i must say. I brought BR there on one occasion when i seriously needed some alcohol in my system and we've been going there since. Well, afterall it's near our offices.

Went there with BR and "Mr Bright" yesterday, we discussed about why 张惠妹's songs are inevitable picks whenever we go to KTVs and such. Well the reasons are simple,

• They make good listening.
• They make your singing sound good.
• We're usually familiar with it because at some point in time, her songs will come in as some sort of medication to heal the weary and broken soul.
• The lyrics are fantabulous.

One of 张惠妹's songs that i'd like to blog about is 我要快乐. It takes a woman of a certain age to be able to appreciate the song in full capacity. I wouldn't say that i'm old and i've came a long way but you need to have gone through life, rejection, work, loneliness, stress, loss and various sorts of bitterness in life to be able to appreciate the song on a deeper level.

又被爱伤了一遍
无所谓当作成长
刚刚走开的人
烟还点着味道却淡了
我并不是天生爱寂寞
却比任何人都多
就算把世界给我
我还是一无所有

我要快乐
我要能睡的安稳
有些人不抱了才温暖
离开了才不恨
我早应该割舍

我要快乐
哪怕笑的再大声
心不是热的
全都是假的
只有眼泪是真的

把从前想了一遍
谢谢了伤我的人
想做乐观的人
每种雨声听了都不冷
我并不是天生爱寂寞
却比任何人都多
就算把世界给我
我还是一无所有

我要快乐
我要能睡的安稳
有些人不抱了才温暖
离开了才不恨
我早应该割舍

我要快乐
哪怕笑的再大声
心不是热的
全都是假的
我的决定是对的

Another song is 原来你什么都不想要

"Gor Gor" sang it to me the day before and I sang it last night. I've never quite sang this song in the KTV because it's pretty old and oversung. There are bound to be someone around who will sing this song at some point down the evening. Yet again, this song says so much about how many women out there think and feel about somethings or some people in life.

我知道这样不好
也知道你的爱
只能那么少
我只有不停的要
要到你想逃

泪湿的枕头晒干就好
眼泪在你的心里只是无理取闹
以为在你身后
是我一辈子的骄傲
原来你什么都不想要

我不要你的呵护
你的玫瑰
只要你好好久久爱我一遍
就算虚荣也好
贪心也好
哪个女人对爱不自私不奢望

我不要你的承诺
不要你的永远
只要你真真切切爱我一遍
就算虚荣也好
贪心也好
最怕你把沉默当做对我的回答