Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Innately Habitual Defence
Most people will know me as rather chirpy, energetic and hyper. Most of the times, I can't even differentiate if I'm doing this habitually or if it's innate. After all the hype, I'll usually deflate when I'm all alone or whenever I'm with people I'm entirely comfortable with. Walls of defence are usually up without any specific intention to do so but supposedly it's a natural human defense. I'm not even sure if I've got a wall around me now. What's second nature?
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Hope & Health
The last time I shaved bald (my head that is) was... Well, eons ago.
I was thinking this is a good cause to lose my hair for but the logical side of me quickly took over. Given the nature of my job, my bosses will go ballistic if I turn up bald one day even if my clients and candidates are acceptable to the idea of me losing my hair for charity. If you are able to do it, I do urge you to participate and sacrifice your crowning glory for these kids. Check out their website.
Time to keep fit! Put on those running shoes and join me for the Shape Run. Giving me some good reason to hit the gym once again and train up for the coming run. Pray hard that my ACL, lateral meniscus and collateral ligament don't act up. Ice... Ice... Ice...
Menstrual cramps used to be foreign to me. I used to think my friends are crazy to be taking really strong painkillers for pain that I've never experienced before. Recently, I've been contemplating going on the Pill. Yes yes, I can imagine those faces reading this. Birth Control?! It is but I'd rather call it hormone regulating pills just because they are. My main concern is if it will have a more permanent effects which is usually not reported or elaborated by the pharmaceutical companies. As long as it doesn't affect my ability to have kids in the long run, I think it's a win-win situation since it leads to better skin condition after taking it for some time. Any voices for or against taking the Pill?
I was thinking this is a good cause to lose my hair for but the logical side of me quickly took over. Given the nature of my job, my bosses will go ballistic if I turn up bald one day even if my clients and candidates are acceptable to the idea of me losing my hair for charity. If you are able to do it, I do urge you to participate and sacrifice your crowning glory for these kids. Check out their website.
Time to keep fit! Put on those running shoes and join me for the Shape Run. Giving me some good reason to hit the gym once again and train up for the coming run. Pray hard that my ACL, lateral meniscus and collateral ligament don't act up. Ice... Ice... Ice...
Menstrual cramps used to be foreign to me. I used to think my friends are crazy to be taking really strong painkillers for pain that I've never experienced before. Recently, I've been contemplating going on the Pill. Yes yes, I can imagine those faces reading this. Birth Control?! It is but I'd rather call it hormone regulating pills just because they are. My main concern is if it will have a more permanent effects which is usually not reported or elaborated by the pharmaceutical companies. As long as it doesn't affect my ability to have kids in the long run, I think it's a win-win situation since it leads to better skin condition after taking it for some time. Any voices for or against taking the Pill?
Monday, April 28, 2008
Drifting By Crossroads
Formula Drift rocked. With compliments from Mask Bunny, we were seated comfortably in the Grandstand, otherwise, I'd been charred under the scorching sun. The SPF50 on my face doesn't quite seemed to help since I woke up today with red hot cheeks. My personal favourites would have to be Ryuji Miki and "Madmike" I was rather disappointed when Madmike came in 3rd since I think he's the most skillful drifter present yesterday. Nonetheless, they all put up a good show. There were several funny moments. Eg. The tyre delivering machine, or whatever it's supposed to be called, passed us and we were all cheering it on. And one of the cars had both its bumpers fell off during one of the runs. After that drag, the car looked "botak".
Just one question, let me know if you have got the answer. "Why does the safety car always have to be so fugly?"
Met with some of the old Sharkies yesterday and one of whom, "Not So Spartan 300" has just gotten his new ride. The MINI Cooper S to be specific. Absolutely gorgeous and I'm once again tempted to check the MINI out. The main thing now being Raffles' Place being the ultimately tough place to get season parking and everyone's been encouraging me to get a piece of property instead. That is totally out of my league for now. It's in the pipelines though and I'm pretty happy bunking in with Mom and Dad for now... Until Mom gets on my nerves again that is. Besides, a house is not a home without the components that makes it home. But but but... The MCS and GTi is having a really close fight in my puny little thing called brains now...
Yippe, my Twin in NYC is coming home soon. I'm quite sure she'll be back this year!
I went down to the crossroads, fell down on my knees.
I went down to the crossroads, fell down on my knees.
Asked the Lord above for mercy, "Save me if you please."
I went down to the crossroads, tried to flag a ride.
I went down to the crossroads, tried to flag a ride.
Nobody seemed to know me, everybody passed me by.
I'm going down to Rosedale, take my rider by my side.
I'm going down to Rosedale, take my rider by my side.
You can still barrelhouse, baby, on the riverside.
You can run, you can run, tell my friend-boy Willie Brown.
You can run, you can run, tell my friend-boy Willie Brown.
And I'm standing at the crossroads, believe I'm sinking down.
Just one question, let me know if you have got the answer. "Why does the safety car always have to be so fugly?"
Met with some of the old Sharkies yesterday and one of whom, "Not So Spartan 300" has just gotten his new ride. The MINI Cooper S to be specific. Absolutely gorgeous and I'm once again tempted to check the MINI out. The main thing now being Raffles' Place being the ultimately tough place to get season parking and everyone's been encouraging me to get a piece of property instead. That is totally out of my league for now. It's in the pipelines though and I'm pretty happy bunking in with Mom and Dad for now... Until Mom gets on my nerves again that is. Besides, a house is not a home without the components that makes it home. But but but... The MCS and GTi is having a really close fight in my puny little thing called brains now...
Yippe, my Twin in NYC is coming home soon. I'm quite sure she'll be back this year!
I went down to the crossroads, fell down on my knees.
I went down to the crossroads, fell down on my knees.
Asked the Lord above for mercy, "Save me if you please."
I went down to the crossroads, tried to flag a ride.
I went down to the crossroads, tried to flag a ride.
Nobody seemed to know me, everybody passed me by.
I'm going down to Rosedale, take my rider by my side.
I'm going down to Rosedale, take my rider by my side.
You can still barrelhouse, baby, on the riverside.
You can run, you can run, tell my friend-boy Willie Brown.
You can run, you can run, tell my friend-boy Willie Brown.
And I'm standing at the crossroads, believe I'm sinking down.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
爱是一滴眼泪, 还没凝固已经成灰
爱怎么做怎么错怎么看怎么难怎么教人死生相随
爱是一种不能说只能尝的滋味试过以后不醉不归
等到红颜憔悴
它却依然如此完美
等到什么时候
我们才能够体会
爱是一朵六有天飘下来的雪花还没结果已经枯萎
爱是一滴擦不干烧不完的眼泪还没凝固已经成灰
等到情丝吐尽
它才出现那一回
等到红尘残碎
它才让人双宿双飞
有谁懂得个中滋味
爱是迷迷糊糊天地初开的时候
那已经盛放的玫瑰
爱是踏破红尘望穿秋水只因为
爱过的人不说后悔
爱是一生一世一次一次的轮回
不管在东南和西北
爱是一段一段一丝一丝的是非
教有情人再不能够说再会
教有情人再不能够说再会
I breathe every single breath with every passing second. It becomes easy to get used to the pain and silence. The noise and laughter seems to drown the cries and whines of sitting here facing 0 decibel. Waking up to a sarcastic bright cheery blue sky, your face comes to mind and I wonder, when will I wake up staring into your sleepy eyes awaiting that cozy "good morning" and a tight big hug. I can't tell you how much I miss those dreamy yet focused eyes. There are times when I feel like wailing a bucket but do you know how I really feel and do you care that it hurts so bad for me. Till this day, this very minute, I still insist on walking this dark tunnel that seems to go on forever. Every now and then, I'll be finding myself excuses to walk away, as far away as possible. But every single attempt proved futile. It's purely a belief, the trust and the love I've never experienced in my life which I can't explain. The disappointment of the realisation that I'm the only idiot in the entire universe to be feeling such is starting to hit in real hard. Is it wrong to insist that this is not a dream?
Hold me tight. 我也会有想哭的感觉
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Home for This Doggie?
One of Fat Club's Jokers found this dog on Pasir Ris Farmway 3. He was attacked by stray dogs and is now homeless. Good samaritans able to adopt a dog and wishes to consider this dog, please contact me. However, do not think it's cute and adopt animals on an impulse. You must preferably have experience with taking care of dogs.
Gender: Male
Age: At least 5 years
Breed: Jack Russell (Pure)
If you can provide a good home for this cutie, please let me know in the first instance.
Shoulder To Cry On
Heard this song over Class 95, got reminded of Elementary (Primary) school when I first got introduced to pop music and then, Tommy Page was hot stuff! Looking back, it was just a song with soothing tune and today, it carries far more meaning than just a old pop song. It takes really bad and down times in time to allow us to sit back and reap the friendship we have sown. Some friendship need not take years but with a genuine heart, we can easily find some shoulders we can lean and cry on.
When I put up my status on Facebook wanting a shoulder to cry on, my phone buzzed within the next 5 mins. Alcoholic Empress Dowager expressed her concerns and reassured me that if when I need a shoulder to cry on, she will be there. There are many kinds of shoulders people need in different times and no matter when and where, a true friend's concern is always appreciated. Urban Legend Wifey has through her actions also reminded me that she will always be there to share the cup of Milo with me and I know during in times of need, I have enough shoulders to cry on.
Life is full of lots of up and downs,
And the distance feels further when you're headed for the ground,
And there is nothing more painful than to let your feelings take
you down,
It's so hard to know the way you feel inside,
When there's many thoughts and feelings that you hide,
But you might feel better if you let me walk with you
by your side,
And when you need a shoulder to cry on,
When you need a friend to rely on,
When the whole world is gone,
You won't be alone, cause I'll be there,
I'll be your shoulder to cry on,
I'll be there,
I'll be a friend to rely on,
When the whole world is gone,
you won't be alone, cause I'll be there.
All of the times when everything is wrong
And you're feeling like
There's no use going on
You can't give it up
I hope you work it out and carry on
Side by side,
With you till the end
I'll always be the one to firmly hold your hand
no matter what is said or done
our love will always continue on
Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on
everyone needs a friend to rely on
When the whole world is gone
you won't be alone cause I'll be there
I'll be your shoulder to cry on
I'll be there
I'll be the one you rely on
when the whole world's gone
you won't be alone
cause I'll be there!
And when the whole world is gone
You'll always have my shoulder to cry on....
Urban Legend has recently lost the Urban in the Legend. Either the transformation from a myth to someone who beyond doubt, existed or that this Legend took a step back into reality where life rightly belongs, gaining the lucidness from the loss in the process of the recent transient. Have I lost the Urban or gained a Legend? Sigh... The very meaning of Legend seems to hold the same weight and volume as memories. You think about it but it's not real anymore. Is it all over? And I thought although Urban Legend isn't the best thing since the invention of sliced bread, he's at least real. Or is it?
Does Manuka Honey still tastes the same?
Will one actually be missed due to non-presence or conveniently forgotten since "out of sight, out of mind" pretty much works for everyone? At least for me, absence makes... Rather not want absence. Bleah...
When I put up my status on Facebook wanting a shoulder to cry on, my phone buzzed within the next 5 mins. Alcoholic Empress Dowager expressed her concerns and reassured me that if when I need a shoulder to cry on, she will be there. There are many kinds of shoulders people need in different times and no matter when and where, a true friend's concern is always appreciated. Urban Legend Wifey has through her actions also reminded me that she will always be there to share the cup of Milo with me and I know during in times of need, I have enough shoulders to cry on.
Life is full of lots of up and downs,
And the distance feels further when you're headed for the ground,
And there is nothing more painful than to let your feelings take
you down,
It's so hard to know the way you feel inside,
When there's many thoughts and feelings that you hide,
But you might feel better if you let me walk with you
by your side,
And when you need a shoulder to cry on,
When you need a friend to rely on,
When the whole world is gone,
You won't be alone, cause I'll be there,
I'll be your shoulder to cry on,
I'll be there,
I'll be a friend to rely on,
When the whole world is gone,
you won't be alone, cause I'll be there.
All of the times when everything is wrong
And you're feeling like
There's no use going on
You can't give it up
I hope you work it out and carry on
Side by side,
With you till the end
I'll always be the one to firmly hold your hand
no matter what is said or done
our love will always continue on
Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on
everyone needs a friend to rely on
When the whole world is gone
you won't be alone cause I'll be there
I'll be your shoulder to cry on
I'll be there
I'll be the one you rely on
when the whole world's gone
you won't be alone
cause I'll be there!
And when the whole world is gone
You'll always have my shoulder to cry on....
Urban Legend has recently lost the Urban in the Legend. Either the transformation from a myth to someone who beyond doubt, existed or that this Legend took a step back into reality where life rightly belongs, gaining the lucidness from the loss in the process of the recent transient. Have I lost the Urban or gained a Legend? Sigh... The very meaning of Legend seems to hold the same weight and volume as memories. You think about it but it's not real anymore. Is it all over? And I thought although Urban Legend isn't the best thing since the invention of sliced bread, he's at least real. Or is it?
Does Manuka Honey still tastes the same?
Will one actually be missed due to non-presence or conveniently forgotten since "out of sight, out of mind" pretty much works for everyone? At least for me, absence makes... Rather not want absence. Bleah...
Friday, April 25, 2008
Love Deeper, Speak Sweeter
Taken from one of my favourite songs, "Live Like You Were Dying" by Tim McGraw.
and I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter
and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying
and he said someday I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dying
Life is so short. Over lunch, Ex-Sir's Sir was telling me of the passing of the brother-in-law of my ex-classmate who just got married last month. I met the chap during the dinner and you would never imagine him to be someone who would die young. About a fortnight ago, he had a stroke while waiting for a friend. A passerby found him lying unconscious on the street and sent him to the hospital and by then, he was already pronounced brain-dead. Life is just so unpredictable. But to live like you were dying can prove to be really tiring so I guess the main gist is to do things we wouldn't regret. At the end of life, the very second that we breathe our last, we should not be feeling guilty or empty because we haven't loved deeper or spoke sweeter. Simple things is life can be made so much more fulfilling. Life is unbelievably short, we have to make full use of every possible moment. Tell the very person who means anything to you at all how you really feel because you may never have another chance to say it.
Manuka Honey knows why Manuka Honey is Manuka Honey and is not forgotten.
As for tonight, I'm going to drink and be merry.
and I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter
and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying
and he said someday I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dying
Life is so short. Over lunch, Ex-Sir's Sir was telling me of the passing of the brother-in-law of my ex-classmate who just got married last month. I met the chap during the dinner and you would never imagine him to be someone who would die young. About a fortnight ago, he had a stroke while waiting for a friend. A passerby found him lying unconscious on the street and sent him to the hospital and by then, he was already pronounced brain-dead. Life is just so unpredictable. But to live like you were dying can prove to be really tiring so I guess the main gist is to do things we wouldn't regret. At the end of life, the very second that we breathe our last, we should not be feeling guilty or empty because we haven't loved deeper or spoke sweeter. Simple things is life can be made so much more fulfilling. Life is unbelievably short, we have to make full use of every possible moment. Tell the very person who means anything to you at all how you really feel because you may never have another chance to say it.
Manuka Honey knows why Manuka Honey is Manuka Honey and is not forgotten.
As for tonight, I'm going to drink and be merry.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Good Night
If you are still wondering why I've gone quiet and posted a song, that's because I'm down with an evil flu bug and all I've been doing is to walk around with my iPod, repeating that song, Angel. Before I left for New York in December last year, I took a flu jab and since then, I've been down with an obviously different strain of flu at least thrice. Either I have a really weak constitution or travelling doesn't do my body much good.
I feel that I've got so much to say but I'm just too tired to type anything so cut me some slack and I shall be back very soon before you know it with some good stuffs. Stay tuned and watch this space.
Before I go catch my 40.. er maybe 80 winks, these couple of days since I got back had been great for me to catch up with friends and people important to me. It's funny how I see life quite differently now... Not that different but significant enough to stir some emotions in me. Fill you guys in soon.
I feel that I've got so much to say but I'm just too tired to type anything so cut me some slack and I shall be back very soon before you know it with some good stuffs. Stay tuned and watch this space.
Before I go catch my 40.. er maybe 80 winks, these couple of days since I got back had been great for me to catch up with friends and people important to me. It's funny how I see life quite differently now... Not that different but significant enough to stir some emotions in me. Fill you guys in soon.
Weightlessness
Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There's always one reason
To feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight
In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there
So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lie
That you make up for all that you lack
It don't make no difference
Escaping one last time
It's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees
In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There's always one reason
To feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight
In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there
So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lie
That you make up for all that you lack
It don't make no difference
Escaping one last time
It's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees
In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Heart Murmuring
Been feeling miserable the entire day sniffing away and trying to fight some fire at work. Even when I've been given tomorrow off as well, I supposed I'll get my ass back into the office and start pushing myself harder. My nasal cavity is all stuffed and I sound like someone is pinching my nose.
Found out from the doctor that my Mom, despite constantly getting on my nerves, she actually is hoping to see more of me and looks forward to have dinner with me. Guess I've been so busy with my own stuffs that I forget that she's alone too. Next week on, I must make an extra effort to keep her company.
Having had an entire day at home allowed me to think about certain things in life yet again. When one is sick, you tend to think about the most uncomfortable and upsetting things and that was exactly what happened. I repeatedly asked myself why did I put myself in a situation when I know I'm just forcing on a smile everyday. All I wanted was some TLC or simply having someone ask if you're fine. "I'm not fine. I'm sick and I feel like crying."
As things crawl and inch forward, if not backwards, I'm slowly sinking into a self-reproach mode. Most people in their right mind-frame will make a conscious effort not to come into someone else's relationship and become the third party. But given the time and day we're in, some people can't help but fall into the trap. Most of us at one point in time of another, would probably have experienced being a third party somehow. It just happens no matter how hard we try to avoid it happening. However, what is potentially frightening is becoming a backup plan conveniently. Not that anyone intentionally planned for things to move in a certain way but the way things work, some things or people inevitably become backup plans. Many have said that this is the worst position to be. Others think that one just chooses to dismiss it or not see it. There's no explanation for staying in a situation like that because one may or may not know that they have unknowingly became "The Backup Plan".
Some people are just born unlucky being caught in such situations all the time or one just never get to meet anyone who genuinely cares. Either way, this stupid swine has chosen to stay for something she genuine believes to exist although it might be just another case of The Emperor's Clothes. Maybe she's stupid and maybe she's naive, she's here to stay.
Someone kill me!
I need to go back to ride some waves but Dad is constantly reminding me of my heart murmur and in the light of Darwin Peh, he's not going to let me do any rigorous sport anytime soon... Pah!
Found out from the doctor that my Mom, despite constantly getting on my nerves, she actually is hoping to see more of me and looks forward to have dinner with me. Guess I've been so busy with my own stuffs that I forget that she's alone too. Next week on, I must make an extra effort to keep her company.
Having had an entire day at home allowed me to think about certain things in life yet again. When one is sick, you tend to think about the most uncomfortable and upsetting things and that was exactly what happened. I repeatedly asked myself why did I put myself in a situation when I know I'm just forcing on a smile everyday. All I wanted was some TLC or simply having someone ask if you're fine. "I'm not fine. I'm sick and I feel like crying."
As things crawl and inch forward, if not backwards, I'm slowly sinking into a self-reproach mode. Most people in their right mind-frame will make a conscious effort not to come into someone else's relationship and become the third party. But given the time and day we're in, some people can't help but fall into the trap. Most of us at one point in time of another, would probably have experienced being a third party somehow. It just happens no matter how hard we try to avoid it happening. However, what is potentially frightening is becoming a backup plan conveniently. Not that anyone intentionally planned for things to move in a certain way but the way things work, some things or people inevitably become backup plans. Many have said that this is the worst position to be. Others think that one just chooses to dismiss it or not see it. There's no explanation for staying in a situation like that because one may or may not know that they have unknowingly became "The Backup Plan".
Some people are just born unlucky being caught in such situations all the time or one just never get to meet anyone who genuinely cares. Either way, this stupid swine has chosen to stay for something she genuine believes to exist although it might be just another case of The Emperor's Clothes. Maybe she's stupid and maybe she's naive, she's here to stay.
Someone kill me!
I need to go back to ride some waves but Dad is constantly reminding me of my heart murmur and in the light of Darwin Peh, he's not going to let me do any rigorous sport anytime soon... Pah!
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Almost Here. Not Quite Here. Not Here.
You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.
You'd be like Heaven to touch.
I wanna hold you so much.
At long last love has arrived
And I thank God I'm alive.
You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.
I can't seem to paint the right picture of the party I had there and insanity is purely understating the event. Even Mask Bunny was having trouble trying to explain to her friends that we were thrown into a rural forest and stuck in a 5 day tribal party. All we had was too much of alcohol, most of which straight from the bottle, very much like how crazy partying goes on in many other places. We had everything, you name it. Vodka, bacardi, bourbon, whiskey, tequila... The "manh dats" were well constructed and was really stable though I wouldn't quite use state of the art on the structure. The streets were surprisingly clean and neat. Only where there were mud and sand, mixed with too much water from the river, some places got a little... Ewww but mind you that's only the party place. Everywhere else was NORMAL. A bit like the laid back areas of Malaysia, but alot cleaner.
Pardon the way that I stare.
There's nothing else to compare.
The sight of you leaves me weak.
There are no words left to speak,
But if you feel like I feel,
Please let me know that it's real.
You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.
Just when I thought I was the cheapest drunk around, Mask Bunny wasn't any better. We did well for someone as cheap to turn drunk as us. At least I didn't throw up one bit for that 4 days of non-stop rave partying and drinking. I had so much to drink I can't even believe it myself. "Wake up! Brrrr"
I love you, baby,
And if it's quite alright,
I need you, baby,
To warm a lonely night.
I love you, baby.
Trust in me when I say:
Oh, pretty baby,
Don't bring me down, I pray.
Oh, pretty baby, now that I found you, stay
And let me love you, baby.
Let me love you.
As for the music, I have to say I was rather disappointed. Cheesy songs were played repeatedly and I meant REPEATEDLY, say 10 times a day and I'm so not kidding. Should Mask Bunny or myself hear the remix versions of Avril Lavigne's Girlfriend or the Tokyo Drift song or Fergie's Glamourous one more time, we're so gonna roll ur eyes and throw up but we'll still continue dancing and drinking. Teehee...
Having said all that, I simply can't wait to go back next year...
I would change the world
If I had a chance
Oh won't you let me
Treat me like a child
Throw your arms around me
Please protect me
Can't take my eyes off you.
You'd be like Heaven to touch.
I wanna hold you so much.
At long last love has arrived
And I thank God I'm alive.
You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.
I can't seem to paint the right picture of the party I had there and insanity is purely understating the event. Even Mask Bunny was having trouble trying to explain to her friends that we were thrown into a rural forest and stuck in a 5 day tribal party. All we had was too much of alcohol, most of which straight from the bottle, very much like how crazy partying goes on in many other places. We had everything, you name it. Vodka, bacardi, bourbon, whiskey, tequila... The "manh dats" were well constructed and was really stable though I wouldn't quite use state of the art on the structure. The streets were surprisingly clean and neat. Only where there were mud and sand, mixed with too much water from the river, some places got a little... Ewww but mind you that's only the party place. Everywhere else was NORMAL. A bit like the laid back areas of Malaysia, but alot cleaner.
Pardon the way that I stare.
There's nothing else to compare.
The sight of you leaves me weak.
There are no words left to speak,
But if you feel like I feel,
Please let me know that it's real.
You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.
Just when I thought I was the cheapest drunk around, Mask Bunny wasn't any better. We did well for someone as cheap to turn drunk as us. At least I didn't throw up one bit for that 4 days of non-stop rave partying and drinking. I had so much to drink I can't even believe it myself. "Wake up! Brrrr"
I love you, baby,
And if it's quite alright,
I need you, baby,
To warm a lonely night.
I love you, baby.
Trust in me when I say:
Oh, pretty baby,
Don't bring me down, I pray.
Oh, pretty baby, now that I found you, stay
And let me love you, baby.
Let me love you.
As for the music, I have to say I was rather disappointed. Cheesy songs were played repeatedly and I meant REPEATEDLY, say 10 times a day and I'm so not kidding. Should Mask Bunny or myself hear the remix versions of Avril Lavigne's Girlfriend or the Tokyo Drift song or Fergie's Glamourous one more time, we're so gonna roll ur eyes and throw up but we'll still continue dancing and drinking. Teehee...
Having said all that, I simply can't wait to go back next year...
I would change the world
If I had a chance
Oh won't you let me
Treat me like a child
Throw your arms around me
Please protect me
Monday, April 21, 2008
Superwoman
My idea of being the superwoman to my man is to be the good wife and mother but what makes a good wife and mother?
This trip to Yangon truly opened my eyes to how different cultures view their values and roles as a woman/wife/mother. Women my age would have been married and possibly already have a couple of kids by now. Take for example, May Thet Kyaw (I'm using her real name because you probably wouldn't know her and she's the best person I've ever met in my life and is probably my new role model). She's married to Jewell's brother and I'm telling you, he's the luckiest man on earth. May's like the best hostess ever. Since the minute we landed, she took care of our every need. She was always there to help us and always keeping a lookout. She paid for all our dinners and refused to let us pay for anything. We barely used any money while we were there because everyone's just so warm and hospitable.
May Thet Kjaw first from right.
May has 3 kids, 2 boys and 1 girl, eldest is about 12 or 13 years old. (Mind you, she's just 4 years older than me). They are all superbly disciplined and the little one, Phu Phu, my personal favourite, is just a sweetie. Of the 8 days that we were there and being in the same car with the kids to and from the beach resort, we have never heard them cry or whine. The kids all have their maids or servants or playmates tagging along all the time but they will never be out of their mother's sight.
As a traditional Burmese woman, she's not allowed to run her own business and even if her husband is against her going out and working for dough, she wanted to do something she liked. So now, she runs a boutique and regularly travels to Bangkok to stock up. She is the epitome of what the Chinese describes as able to walk into the kitchen and at the same time, able to walk out of the living room.
Did I forget to mention, she's beautiful as in slim, nice skin, gorgeous features?
Just a note on the side for many women who tend to forget that they are wives after they became mothers. Not that I think it's a bad thing but we should never forget the foundation of having a family. Unless you were match-made, a family unit always grows on the foundation of love, the love that's being built between and man and wife unit. I actually saw that trait in Mom and I couldn't stop but tell her how much I love her. Taken from one of Oprah's episode, "First a wife, then a mother."
This trip to Yangon truly opened my eyes to how different cultures view their values and roles as a woman/wife/mother. Women my age would have been married and possibly already have a couple of kids by now. Take for example, May Thet Kyaw (I'm using her real name because you probably wouldn't know her and she's the best person I've ever met in my life and is probably my new role model). She's married to Jewell's brother and I'm telling you, he's the luckiest man on earth. May's like the best hostess ever. Since the minute we landed, she took care of our every need. She was always there to help us and always keeping a lookout. She paid for all our dinners and refused to let us pay for anything. We barely used any money while we were there because everyone's just so warm and hospitable.
May Thet Kjaw first from right.
May has 3 kids, 2 boys and 1 girl, eldest is about 12 or 13 years old. (Mind you, she's just 4 years older than me). They are all superbly disciplined and the little one, Phu Phu, my personal favourite, is just a sweetie. Of the 8 days that we were there and being in the same car with the kids to and from the beach resort, we have never heard them cry or whine. The kids all have their maids or servants or playmates tagging along all the time but they will never be out of their mother's sight.
As a traditional Burmese woman, she's not allowed to run her own business and even if her husband is against her going out and working for dough, she wanted to do something she liked. So now, she runs a boutique and regularly travels to Bangkok to stock up. She is the epitome of what the Chinese describes as able to walk into the kitchen and at the same time, able to walk out of the living room.
Did I forget to mention, she's beautiful as in slim, nice skin, gorgeous features?
Just a note on the side for many women who tend to forget that they are wives after they became mothers. Not that I think it's a bad thing but we should never forget the foundation of having a family. Unless you were match-made, a family unit always grows on the foundation of love, the love that's being built between and man and wife unit. I actually saw that trait in Mom and I couldn't stop but tell her how much I love her. Taken from one of Oprah's episode, "First a wife, then a mother."
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Thingyan 2008
"I'm back!" goes my first SMS out to everyone the moment I landed and even when the plane was still taxi-ing, I didn't care. I needed to return to reality and have some form of phone signals. In case some of you don't know, which is entirely possible, I'll be using Burma & Myanmar interchangeably because IT IS THE SAME PLACE! Similarly, Yangon was previously known as Rangoon.
My main purpose for this trip is to experience the Thingyan i.e. the water festival. It is actually the pre Burmese New Year celebrations. I didn't quite expect what I got myself into. I'd rather not call it culture shock because it is although the culture but does not quite reflect the Burmese day to day life.
When we touched down on Day One, we checked into this beautiful hotel, Mi Casa. The airport was gorgeous considering it's only a few months old. Frankly, I wasn't expecting the neat and clean service apartment nor the Hong Kong International Airport lookalike airport, so I was more than thankful.
My travel partner this time round was just like me. I'm the chunky ever-eating monkey and she's the energizer bunny. Both of us love our tea the same way, we like our food with ketchup, we hate vegetables and in fact, I probably take more veggie than she does but most importantly, despite all the similarities, we like different types of men. I'll have more stories of Mask Bunny and myself below.
After we checked in, we went on to Jewell's brother's place which has a guard house, massive land, 2 dogs and housed a warm family of 5. Over there, we were introduced to the Burmese currency, the Kyats. And if you think you're holding stacks for rupiahs, think again. The biggest denomination is 1000 kyats which is equivalent to a little less than 1 USD so in order to survive a day, you are require to bring stacks and stacks of cash. To tip with endless pieces of 1000 kyat notes seems pure extravagant and trust me, it's alot more fun than you think.
After getting baked under the sun and in the air-conditioned house (!), we made our way to the "mahn dat" which is basically a stage like platform and it could probably house a few hundreds of people. To get into one of these, people pay indiscriminate amounts of money and the poor will just roam the streets. Water was everywhere and people on these "mahn dat" will just spray water at everyone including pedestrians on the roads, all in good fun. It costs about 60grand kys to get into ours and it's supposed to be the better one. We got in free because Jewell's cousin was the co-organiser. The people who were on our "mahn dat" were all her friends and many of whom are the offsprings of some of the most influential or disgustingly rich people in Burma. By disgusting, I don't mean it to be disparaging in any way but I can't seem to find a better word for that. It's pure obscene.
In a normal day Burma, people are relatively conservative. During the water festival, people go wild and crazy and using alcohol as the excuse, they flirt and party their heart out. On a street like a expanded Pasar Malam with more than 50 "mahn dats", the heat was just all around us, surrounding your every pore. In fact, we arrived on the second day of the water festival and missed a day of fun.
When I first got there, I was rather skeptical. I kept asking Mask Bunny repeatedly, "are we going to do this for the next few days?", "do you think we'll survive this?", "what am I doing here?!". We had plans to go sightseeing and do the what not shopping but only upon reaching there, we realised that it was their public holidays and just like Singapore during the Chinese New Year period, all the shops were shut. As we walked up the steps of the "mahn dat", we felt ourselves getting wetter and wetter and not before long, we were all drenched.
Friends of friends with bottles of alcohol approached us and before we knew it, we were drinking off the bottles. Over the span of 4 days, I've had more alcohol than I've ever taken in my entire life. Initially, I tried to get away by using my allergy as an excuse but realising that it doesn't work at all, I gave up and started drinking. Surprisingly, I didn't get drunk and trust me, I can't drink for nuts and I gulped down quite a deadly dose. I strongly suspect it's the never ending flow of water that was constantly and consistently cooling our bodies down.
Before I left for Myanmar, Mao Meen told me to get water purification pills. But it ran out so I didn't get any. Even if I did, it would have been totally useless. The amount of water I've been ingesting that was being sprayed all over me was beyond any form of control.
By Day Two, I was enjoying the party and I let lose of any inhibitions, I started drinking more and I was just dancing from dawn till dusk. By 2 or 3 pm in the afternoon, I would have been in a total high and possibly forgot my name. Luckily Mask Bunny was with me and we were constantly watching out for one another and winging each other. Anytime some cutie approaches anyone of us, the other one will sneak away like a crab but close enough so that when the guy goes off, we're with each other once again. When if the less welcomed guys come along, we'll just hug each other and dance and I swear, most people there probably think we're in love or at least, bisexuals. I knew who ere her eye candies and she knew the exact "Teddy Bear" who was "hanging around" 5metres from the locus. "Teddy Bear" was my eye candy and speaks with a light sexy Brit accent. Like most Burmese men, he's got beautiful eyes and those lips were just so kissable. But having said that, most Burmese men are still very cautious of kissing some girls although they have no qualms with hugging and dancing with you. So do make an intelligent guess if I managed to get a kiss from this "Teddy Bear".
On Day Three, we were aching all over but continued to party. We were hooked. Mask Bunny actually went home with Pui Pui Cousin Porky. *sly smile As for me, I went on to explore the Chinatown in Myanmar after dinner. By then, Jeffers De Jay has already arrived. JDJ told us that we were lucky because this year, the water's really clean. He went last year and went home with rust stained white t-shirts.
Day Four was the last day of the water festival. I wore a dress that got very translucent after getting all wet in the water. I was so embarrassed but that lasted but like a whole of 15 minutes and once I got enough alcohol in the system, I just ignored that. I should never ever wear a dress to the water festival ever again.
Day Five was supposed to be easy and slow before Mask Bunny and myself fly off the very next day but after being easily coerced by JDJ and Jewell, Mask Bunny and myself followed them to a beach resort in Ngwe Saung near Pathein, Bay of Bengal. And you've guessed it, it's owned by Jewell's friend. I pampered myself to a scrub and massage and I did nothing else but recuperate from the 4 days of insanity. And finally, I had access to the internet over at the resort. With a healthy dose of Manuka honey, all I wanted was to come home quick and safely and if it means to camp over at the airport, I'd do it. That was precisely what I did. But now that I'm back safely, the least I wanna do is to disturb anyone's life or to mess anything up so I'm just being a good girl and I'm staying at home blogging away for you people to read and catch up with my life.
Don't you dare think I was over worrying before my trip because my life was indeed in danger amongst all the party. The "mahn dat" we were in was co-organised by some general's grandson so we were the "MAIN TARGET" for any possible bombs but now that I'm back, I can't be more thankful.
I'm just glad to be home even if it means Mom can't stop nagging at me...
My main purpose for this trip is to experience the Thingyan i.e. the water festival. It is actually the pre Burmese New Year celebrations. I didn't quite expect what I got myself into. I'd rather not call it culture shock because it is although the culture but does not quite reflect the Burmese day to day life.
When we touched down on Day One, we checked into this beautiful hotel, Mi Casa. The airport was gorgeous considering it's only a few months old. Frankly, I wasn't expecting the neat and clean service apartment nor the Hong Kong International Airport lookalike airport, so I was more than thankful.
My travel partner this time round was just like me. I'm the chunky ever-eating monkey and she's the energizer bunny. Both of us love our tea the same way, we like our food with ketchup, we hate vegetables and in fact, I probably take more veggie than she does but most importantly, despite all the similarities, we like different types of men. I'll have more stories of Mask Bunny and myself below.
After we checked in, we went on to Jewell's brother's place which has a guard house, massive land, 2 dogs and housed a warm family of 5. Over there, we were introduced to the Burmese currency, the Kyats. And if you think you're holding stacks for rupiahs, think again. The biggest denomination is 1000 kyats which is equivalent to a little less than 1 USD so in order to survive a day, you are require to bring stacks and stacks of cash. To tip with endless pieces of 1000 kyat notes seems pure extravagant and trust me, it's alot more fun than you think.
After getting baked under the sun and in the air-conditioned house (!), we made our way to the "mahn dat" which is basically a stage like platform and it could probably house a few hundreds of people. To get into one of these, people pay indiscriminate amounts of money and the poor will just roam the streets. Water was everywhere and people on these "mahn dat" will just spray water at everyone including pedestrians on the roads, all in good fun. It costs about 60grand kys to get into ours and it's supposed to be the better one. We got in free because Jewell's cousin was the co-organiser. The people who were on our "mahn dat" were all her friends and many of whom are the offsprings of some of the most influential or disgustingly rich people in Burma. By disgusting, I don't mean it to be disparaging in any way but I can't seem to find a better word for that. It's pure obscene.
In a normal day Burma, people are relatively conservative. During the water festival, people go wild and crazy and using alcohol as the excuse, they flirt and party their heart out. On a street like a expanded Pasar Malam with more than 50 "mahn dats", the heat was just all around us, surrounding your every pore. In fact, we arrived on the second day of the water festival and missed a day of fun.
When I first got there, I was rather skeptical. I kept asking Mask Bunny repeatedly, "are we going to do this for the next few days?", "do you think we'll survive this?", "what am I doing here?!". We had plans to go sightseeing and do the what not shopping but only upon reaching there, we realised that it was their public holidays and just like Singapore during the Chinese New Year period, all the shops were shut. As we walked up the steps of the "mahn dat", we felt ourselves getting wetter and wetter and not before long, we were all drenched.
Friends of friends with bottles of alcohol approached us and before we knew it, we were drinking off the bottles. Over the span of 4 days, I've had more alcohol than I've ever taken in my entire life. Initially, I tried to get away by using my allergy as an excuse but realising that it doesn't work at all, I gave up and started drinking. Surprisingly, I didn't get drunk and trust me, I can't drink for nuts and I gulped down quite a deadly dose. I strongly suspect it's the never ending flow of water that was constantly and consistently cooling our bodies down.
Before I left for Myanmar, Mao Meen told me to get water purification pills. But it ran out so I didn't get any. Even if I did, it would have been totally useless. The amount of water I've been ingesting that was being sprayed all over me was beyond any form of control.
By Day Two, I was enjoying the party and I let lose of any inhibitions, I started drinking more and I was just dancing from dawn till dusk. By 2 or 3 pm in the afternoon, I would have been in a total high and possibly forgot my name. Luckily Mask Bunny was with me and we were constantly watching out for one another and winging each other. Anytime some cutie approaches anyone of us, the other one will sneak away like a crab but close enough so that when the guy goes off, we're with each other once again. When if the less welcomed guys come along, we'll just hug each other and dance and I swear, most people there probably think we're in love or at least, bisexuals. I knew who ere her eye candies and she knew the exact "Teddy Bear" who was "hanging around" 5metres from the locus. "Teddy Bear" was my eye candy and speaks with a light sexy Brit accent. Like most Burmese men, he's got beautiful eyes and those lips were just so kissable. But having said that, most Burmese men are still very cautious of kissing some girls although they have no qualms with hugging and dancing with you. So do make an intelligent guess if I managed to get a kiss from this "Teddy Bear".
On Day Three, we were aching all over but continued to party. We were hooked. Mask Bunny actually went home with Pui Pui Cousin Porky. *sly smile As for me, I went on to explore the Chinatown in Myanmar after dinner. By then, Jeffers De Jay has already arrived. JDJ told us that we were lucky because this year, the water's really clean. He went last year and went home with rust stained white t-shirts.
Day Four was the last day of the water festival. I wore a dress that got very translucent after getting all wet in the water. I was so embarrassed but that lasted but like a whole of 15 minutes and once I got enough alcohol in the system, I just ignored that. I should never ever wear a dress to the water festival ever again.
Day Five was supposed to be easy and slow before Mask Bunny and myself fly off the very next day but after being easily coerced by JDJ and Jewell, Mask Bunny and myself followed them to a beach resort in Ngwe Saung near Pathein, Bay of Bengal. And you've guessed it, it's owned by Jewell's friend. I pampered myself to a scrub and massage and I did nothing else but recuperate from the 4 days of insanity. And finally, I had access to the internet over at the resort. With a healthy dose of Manuka honey, all I wanted was to come home quick and safely and if it means to camp over at the airport, I'd do it. That was precisely what I did. But now that I'm back safely, the least I wanna do is to disturb anyone's life or to mess anything up so I'm just being a good girl and I'm staying at home blogging away for you people to read and catch up with my life.
Don't you dare think I was over worrying before my trip because my life was indeed in danger amongst all the party. The "mahn dat" we were in was co-organised by some general's grandson so we were the "MAIN TARGET" for any possible bombs but now that I'm back, I can't be more thankful.
I'm just glad to be home even if it means Mom can't stop nagging at me...
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Living Emo Will
Should I not be able to make it back, let's just say that I'm extremely glad to have people who cares for me. Whoever left me that message for me to come back in one piece, I don't know who you are and if you know how to get me apart from my blog, do send me a message. Pray for me... But if anything should happen to me, my Dad gets everything I own, though nothing much. My organs are to be donated.
If I don't make it back alive, the bar fridge in my room will go to A&E Quack. To be able to see you guys before I leave makes me feel that this world is still such a wonderful place with friends.
If I make it back, I know I'll be a much better person. This trip will start my South East Asian exploration tour. By end of this year, I should have already brought myself to Cambodia as well. If I make it back...
All I want is my Manuka Honey...
If I don't make it back alive, the bar fridge in my room will go to A&E Quack. To be able to see you guys before I leave makes me feel that this world is still such a wonderful place with friends.
If I make it back, I know I'll be a much better person. This trip will start my South East Asian exploration tour. By end of this year, I should have already brought myself to Cambodia as well. If I make it back...
All I want is my Manuka Honey...
Friday, April 11, 2008
Subjectively Democratic
As some of you may be aware by now that I'm be flying off to Myanmar on Sunday. The news the last few days did worry me but I'm one of those who constantly feel lucky and that "this will never happen to me" mindset never quite left me. Urban Legend Wifey's little brother, "Superstar Candidate" has been discouraging me from going. Mao Meen's been very sweet and very concerned with my safety. I still want to stay alive so that I can claim my Max Brenner chocolate back from him... Haha! During coffee break today, I was telling Urban Legend Wifey that if I'm unable to make it back alive, what do I have to say to some people but judging from her uncontrollable laughter, I doubt she remembered anything I said which was essentially one sentence with 2000 permutations and variations. And to have a recording of my last words to be only put up to YouTube should something unfortunate happen to me would only mean that it will never be put up anywhere on the web because it will be technically impossible for this smartie girlie.
Frankly, I'm starting to get slightly worried for my own safety for obvious reasons. JFGI: Myanmar Politics or News
At the same time, some people's concern came pretty unexpected and should I say it's untimely. Should it come much earlier months ago, it might have made a difference. But having said that, since I'm in a temporarily dormant stage, such concern comes much as comfort and possibly more reasons to look further. I suppose some things in life do happen for a reason. The only thing pulling me back isn't a stubborn personality but because I believe this is the only time in my life, I'm hanging on to what is possibly the best thing that will happen to me or rather happened and is happening to me. Some people may never experience truly loving someone in their life. I'm learning and I'm not sure if this is the right emotion but I'm willing to put my life on it. On my birthday this year, though I was pissed, I clearly remembered telling a special someone, (or was it later on when I was sober) but anyways, I said that I was willing to entrust my life in his hand and for me to be able to do that, it required alot of courage out of me and most importantly, I have never ever said that in my life and such thoughts have never crossed my mind.
My blog entries' always been very cryptic but not what I have said above. I truly think that there's a certain level of danger this time round by going to a place where according to Mao Meen, it's the most dangerous place only second to Iraq at this very point in time. I know like for 70%, I'd be back alive but to have a 30% chance of getting kidnapped or killed, that is insane. In any case that I don't make it back (choy choy), you should know very well that I have so much faith and trust in you, it scares me. And believe it or not, there is only one person in this world I feel that I can entrust my life to and to start a family with. Am I repeating myself?
Maybe if I'm able to come back alive this time, I should really learn to face reality and stop dreaming. What's meant to be yours, will be. Vice-versa. I can only hold on to what's filled with hope, not emptiness. I can only pray and I will do just so...
By the way, "We Will Rock You" rocks and although I haven't heard like 50% of the songs, I knew more songs than I thought I'd know anyway and the atmosphere was just contagious. By the finale, we were all on our feet and our hands are waving all over the place. I can only wish that all these things I'm enjoying in my life, I could share the joys with you... I can only wish...
Frankly, I'm starting to get slightly worried for my own safety for obvious reasons. JFGI: Myanmar Politics or News
At the same time, some people's concern came pretty unexpected and should I say it's untimely. Should it come much earlier months ago, it might have made a difference. But having said that, since I'm in a temporarily dormant stage, such concern comes much as comfort and possibly more reasons to look further. I suppose some things in life do happen for a reason. The only thing pulling me back isn't a stubborn personality but because I believe this is the only time in my life, I'm hanging on to what is possibly the best thing that will happen to me or rather happened and is happening to me. Some people may never experience truly loving someone in their life. I'm learning and I'm not sure if this is the right emotion but I'm willing to put my life on it. On my birthday this year, though I was pissed, I clearly remembered telling a special someone, (or was it later on when I was sober) but anyways, I said that I was willing to entrust my life in his hand and for me to be able to do that, it required alot of courage out of me and most importantly, I have never ever said that in my life and such thoughts have never crossed my mind.
My blog entries' always been very cryptic but not what I have said above. I truly think that there's a certain level of danger this time round by going to a place where according to Mao Meen, it's the most dangerous place only second to Iraq at this very point in time. I know like for 70%, I'd be back alive but to have a 30% chance of getting kidnapped or killed, that is insane. In any case that I don't make it back (choy choy), you should know very well that I have so much faith and trust in you, it scares me. And believe it or not, there is only one person in this world I feel that I can entrust my life to and to start a family with. Am I repeating myself?
Maybe if I'm able to come back alive this time, I should really learn to face reality and stop dreaming. What's meant to be yours, will be. Vice-versa. I can only hold on to what's filled with hope, not emptiness. I can only pray and I will do just so...
By the way, "We Will Rock You" rocks and although I haven't heard like 50% of the songs, I knew more songs than I thought I'd know anyway and the atmosphere was just contagious. By the finale, we were all on our feet and our hands are waving all over the place. I can only wish that all these things I'm enjoying in my life, I could share the joys with you... I can only wish...
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Breathe Hard, Hardly Breathe
Zhoos gave me the shock of my life but telling me that he's got a minor heart attack last week. Stop eating those unhealthy instant noodles you dodo! When things are right at the bottom, the only way is up. Hang in there! I'm just a phonecall away... *sob *sob
Girly bonding session with my new special assistant, Angel's Voice, brought us to steamboat and in this weather, it was heaven. The day was completed with my favourite Horlicks ice-cream with gummi bears & shortcake. Decadence!!!
Menstrual cramps and suspicious stomach flu kept my face purple for a good part of the day. I was feeling so lazy but I had so much grounds to cover before I dump everything to everyone else for my Burma trip.
Come tomorrow, I'll have half a day of super hard work and we'll be catching "We Will Rock You" after dinner. I can't wait.
From the short sentences as if I'm hard of breathing goes to show I'm mentally drained and I am indeed hard of breathing. I just hope that I won't have anymore nightmares and pains so that I can at least have a good night's sleep.
Enjoying a good chat with Unexpected Pilot and I'm glad, a concerned friend still exist. Genuinely. Buddy, we should have dinner when you get back from your training in Perth. A great way to fly... Haha... Cheesy I know but what do you expect, I'm exhausted.
Girly bonding session with my new special assistant, Angel's Voice, brought us to steamboat and in this weather, it was heaven. The day was completed with my favourite Horlicks ice-cream with gummi bears & shortcake. Decadence!!!
Menstrual cramps and suspicious stomach flu kept my face purple for a good part of the day. I was feeling so lazy but I had so much grounds to cover before I dump everything to everyone else for my Burma trip.
Come tomorrow, I'll have half a day of super hard work and we'll be catching "We Will Rock You" after dinner. I can't wait.
From the short sentences as if I'm hard of breathing goes to show I'm mentally drained and I am indeed hard of breathing. I just hope that I won't have anymore nightmares and pains so that I can at least have a good night's sleep.
Enjoying a good chat with Unexpected Pilot and I'm glad, a concerned friend still exist. Genuinely. Buddy, we should have dinner when you get back from your training in Perth. A great way to fly... Haha... Cheesy I know but what do you expect, I'm exhausted.
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
任性
With compliments of Fatshark Guru, here's my eye candy of this season. He's cute, talented, hilarious, smart, witty, what more can a girl ask for? He'd better not be gay. If you're wondering what do I know about him, that cuz his FAQ list listed it all HERE.
Fatshark Guru will be home for a week and it has to be the whole week that I'll be away. I'm leaving on Sunday morning and he's only arriving on late Saturday. We'll probably rub some air between our shoulders the next Sunday when he's returning to Walldorf till end June. Let's just hope that he's not jet-lagged on Saturday and we can do some catching up before I fly off.
The only thing we can be sure of in life is change.
Still remembered when we sent Lampung Prince off, we met his Grandma but little did we know then that it would be our first and last encounter with her. Having gone through the same myself not too long ago, I can only say that we will never recover from the pain and I still mourn over my loss but what we will do is to learn to live with it. With everyday that passes, we will be stronger and tougher. For me, every image that very day is still vivid. As a result of several false alarms, most of the people were tired but it was the eve of Hari Raya. Right after work, I rushed to be by her side. Although she wasn't very conscious, she heard the very last words I would ever say to her. The next day, she left me for good. That was the first time she left me to fight my own tears...
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
Cameo Performance
In the general circle of people I mix with, some girls are easily mistaken as "village bicycle" or similar awful names. I've always stood by my actions being my testimony. Closer friends tease me for being a prude but I know they do respect me for the person I am. Had a chat with Silver today over coffee break, he concluded it's the company some people mix with and not so much their actions. I reckon it's good for me that this bunch of chaps whom I hang around with, bring their wives along and all of them know who I am. I get along with their spouses pretty well and some even more so than the boys themselves. Take for example, Breyton's Urban Legend Wifey is my 24 hours helpline and Silver's "Husband for Rental - Tickets for Sale" wifey is volunteering to be my wedding planner should I ever decide to walk down the aisle, Como's not so girlfriend but don't know what at stage kinda friend, Alcoholic Empress Dowager, has become a close friend of mine through wakeboarding, mahjong lessons and drinking games and she has agreed to be part of the jie mei entourage on my "not so soon and nowhere in the near future" wedding.
Part of the fun with the crazy group...
* Look out for the part BobbyTay pushes away our new member, the young padawan...
All clean fun is definitely possible. Mountains can move but characters don't. He will only help those who help themselves...
Part of the fun with the crazy group...
* Look out for the part BobbyTay pushes away our new member, the young padawan...
All clean fun is definitely possible. Mountains can move but characters don't. He will only help those who help themselves...
Monday, April 07, 2008
The Buildup
I can't believe how blur I am but long of the short, I was stuck in last week's planner and was expecting a call this evening when I already had that chat. On my way home today, I texted Mom to get me dinner as I was preparing for that phonecall. Mom told me over the weekend that she'd in Malaysia and I forgot about it entirely.
I could have taken a day off to sweep some tomb, something I used to do every other year but it seems to me that there are some people who uses this day to "perform" their filial duties and I have made it a point, a reminder to myself, that I shall not be as hypocritical as these people. My conscience can testify that I was there for my Grandma every moment she needed someone by her side when she was still alive. I don't see putting up a show just because you want to prove to the rest of the world that you actually care. If people did care, I wouldn't need to spend the last few years before Grandma passed on, begging that good for nothing son to come home to visit her and to get his even more good for nothing, sickening, utterly useless son to come over to find Grandma for a chat. And during her wake, his son has the cheek to stand outside and not pay his respect and the man himself who called himself my Grandma's son actually shouted at me beside my Grandma's dead body. I have lost the respect I had for the man for over 20 years in that 20 seconds simply because he did not respect the person who meant everything to me. Until today, I can't still can't forget how he made me cry and how I couldn't stop crying for the next hour or so. I can only choose to forgive, no matter how painful it still it.
I have never felt more alone but neither have I felt that I need to be stronger than ever. I suppose that's the survival instinct. At the same time, I'm so afraid that that's a natural mechanism of self protection which eventually might do me more harm than good. Unable to tell anyone anything, my outlet is getting smaller and the funnel is building the pressure in this tajine.
Having a sudden craving for couscous...
如果还有明天
你想怎样装扮你的脸
如果没有明天
怎么说再见
我们都有看不开的时候
总有冷落自己的举动
但是我要把握每次感动
如果还有明天
如果真的还能够有明天
是否能把事情都做完
是否一切也将云消烟散
如果没有明天
要怎么说再见
I could have taken a day off to sweep some tomb, something I used to do every other year but it seems to me that there are some people who uses this day to "perform" their filial duties and I have made it a point, a reminder to myself, that I shall not be as hypocritical as these people. My conscience can testify that I was there for my Grandma every moment she needed someone by her side when she was still alive. I don't see putting up a show just because you want to prove to the rest of the world that you actually care. If people did care, I wouldn't need to spend the last few years before Grandma passed on, begging that good for nothing son to come home to visit her and to get his even more good for nothing, sickening, utterly useless son to come over to find Grandma for a chat. And during her wake, his son has the cheek to stand outside and not pay his respect and the man himself who called himself my Grandma's son actually shouted at me beside my Grandma's dead body. I have lost the respect I had for the man for over 20 years in that 20 seconds simply because he did not respect the person who meant everything to me. Until today, I can't still can't forget how he made me cry and how I couldn't stop crying for the next hour or so. I can only choose to forgive, no matter how painful it still it.
I have never felt more alone but neither have I felt that I need to be stronger than ever. I suppose that's the survival instinct. At the same time, I'm so afraid that that's a natural mechanism of self protection which eventually might do me more harm than good. Unable to tell anyone anything, my outlet is getting smaller and the funnel is building the pressure in this tajine.
Having a sudden craving for couscous...
如果还有明天
你想怎样装扮你的脸
如果没有明天
怎么说再见
我们都有看不开的时候
总有冷落自己的举动
但是我要把握每次感动
如果还有明天
如果真的还能够有明天
是否能把事情都做完
是否一切也将云消烟散
如果没有明天
要怎么说再见
Sunday, April 06, 2008
Old Wounds, New Life
Guess who I ran into on Friday during dinner with Urban Legend Wifey? Munchausen Syndrome! Apparently, he was with another girl, someone I know and someone whom I would have already imagined him to be out with. I didn't quite run into him face to face but he did text me and told me that the girl saw me but they didn't come over to say hi. Even then, he was still telling half truths and didn't quite say he was with her. I wonder why... Very frankly, I am really glad that he was with someone. Only goes to show that he has moved on and time did help his wounds.
Putting things behind me where they belong, the karaoke cum birthday party for A&E Quack was fabulous. The response was overwhelming and even as I say that, it was a total understatement. There was easily 30 people in a room catered for 15 and with some who came and went, we definitely had more than 40 people gracing the event. As usual, there was an overload of alcohol. There were easily 20 jugs of beer, a bottle of the Sar Lau drink and er... Too much for my puny brains.
Managed to catch "Semi-Pro" with Ex-Sir's Sir yesterday and Will Ferrell is simply hilarious. I must say it's not one of his best but definitely worth catching it. One of my favourite Will Ferrell's clip as George Bush.
After the movie, we head over to Foreman's place for mahjong. During the six years when I vanished from the face of this planet, loads happened and only till these one year or so that I realised what I've missed out on. I don't know if it's too late to catch up since most of them are married and some are even done and over with marriage. But we spent so much bonding time when we were in school, nothing can quite take it away from us.
Today was all for myself and on my own. I caught up on sleep but somehow, I actually find it tough to sleep past 8 hours. Chatted with Mom & Dad over lunch and checking out if there are new problems waiting for me to solve. Quite obviously, there are loads of them and may be more than I can handle. As the responsible child I have always wanted to grow up to be, I have consciously put these problems in my head and I've already started to plan on how to solve them. I may not be a perfect child but I have only 1 set of Mom and Dad and I'd like to keep them happy even though they drive me nuts at times.
Went for the last service and for 2 weeks in a row, I got my spot in the auditorium. I'm so loved. Just some food for thought - We will always be better, many times better than our last job, our last relationship, etc, just like how God made us much better than the man before Adam sinned. If He is not the one to put us through tests and trials, who actually does? I know for sure I will not be put through those trials because I have asked for it not to happen on me.
Don't fall asleep yet. I know this is not the most interesting of all things but these are things that impact me on a daily basis and I want this to be someone else's inlet as much as I see this as my outlet. And while I share, I know I have the capacity to take in more... So, just receive! Ta da!!!
Putting things behind me where they belong, the karaoke cum birthday party for A&E Quack was fabulous. The response was overwhelming and even as I say that, it was a total understatement. There was easily 30 people in a room catered for 15 and with some who came and went, we definitely had more than 40 people gracing the event. As usual, there was an overload of alcohol. There were easily 20 jugs of beer, a bottle of the Sar Lau drink and er... Too much for my puny brains.
Managed to catch "Semi-Pro" with Ex-Sir's Sir yesterday and Will Ferrell is simply hilarious. I must say it's not one of his best but definitely worth catching it. One of my favourite Will Ferrell's clip as George Bush.
After the movie, we head over to Foreman's place for mahjong. During the six years when I vanished from the face of this planet, loads happened and only till these one year or so that I realised what I've missed out on. I don't know if it's too late to catch up since most of them are married and some are even done and over with marriage. But we spent so much bonding time when we were in school, nothing can quite take it away from us.
Today was all for myself and on my own. I caught up on sleep but somehow, I actually find it tough to sleep past 8 hours. Chatted with Mom & Dad over lunch and checking out if there are new problems waiting for me to solve. Quite obviously, there are loads of them and may be more than I can handle. As the responsible child I have always wanted to grow up to be, I have consciously put these problems in my head and I've already started to plan on how to solve them. I may not be a perfect child but I have only 1 set of Mom and Dad and I'd like to keep them happy even though they drive me nuts at times.
Went for the last service and for 2 weeks in a row, I got my spot in the auditorium. I'm so loved. Just some food for thought - We will always be better, many times better than our last job, our last relationship, etc, just like how God made us much better than the man before Adam sinned. If He is not the one to put us through tests and trials, who actually does? I know for sure I will not be put through those trials because I have asked for it not to happen on me.
Don't fall asleep yet. I know this is not the most interesting of all things but these are things that impact me on a daily basis and I want this to be someone else's inlet as much as I see this as my outlet. And while I share, I know I have the capacity to take in more... So, just receive! Ta da!!!
Friday, April 04, 2008
Way Back Into Love
Happy Birthday, A&E Quack! Hope you have a great day. Birthdays are meant to be the happiest day because it's all about you. At least for me, my birthday this year was the most memorable day in my life. You're so gonna get trashed tonight buddy.
"Music & Lyrics" is one of my all time favourite movies apart from the fact that Hugh Grant is absolutely gorgeous, the story line was attractive in its own right. The songs were funny and unbelievably witty. The retro sounding "Pop Goes My Heart" reminds us of the Rick Astley times. The lyrics of the other songs like Way Back into Love and Don't Write Me Off started to leave a more impressionable mark than before. They were very sing-along but at least to me at this point in time, it carries a more significant meaning behind it.
I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on
I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need them again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind
All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's gotta be something for my soul somewhere
I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night
I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions
All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end
There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation
All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end
All I'm asking is, don't write me off just yet...
I miss the smile, the tight hugs and the mid-afternoon calls that makes the day. Am I just another forgotten child and life totally forgot to consider me for love. For once I thought I've found someone, someone whom I can live my life with and see myself having a family with. Please don't take this all away from me...
Hold me tight...
"Music & Lyrics" is one of my all time favourite movies apart from the fact that Hugh Grant is absolutely gorgeous, the story line was attractive in its own right. The songs were funny and unbelievably witty. The retro sounding "Pop Goes My Heart" reminds us of the Rick Astley times. The lyrics of the other songs like Way Back into Love and Don't Write Me Off started to leave a more impressionable mark than before. They were very sing-along but at least to me at this point in time, it carries a more significant meaning behind it.
I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on
I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need them again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind
All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's gotta be something for my soul somewhere
I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night
I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions
All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end
There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation
All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end
All I'm asking is, don't write me off just yet...
I miss the smile, the tight hugs and the mid-afternoon calls that makes the day. Am I just another forgotten child and life totally forgot to consider me for love. For once I thought I've found someone, someone whom I can live my life with and see myself having a family with. Please don't take this all away from me...
Hold me tight...
Thursday, April 03, 2008
"Me"serable
The running around for the past few days has almost turned me into shreds. The little one is much better. An important part of my life has taken a positive turn after spending hours and hours of self-analysing & communicating. How can I actually sound more cryptic? *Frustration
A nightmare last night got me awaken in the middle of the night. It was too dark to figure from pillow stains if I cried but the corner of my eyes were wet. I could feel my body breathing so hard and sobbing because I saw something I'd rather die than to see in that dream. I couldn't sleep anymore after that and the result was sore and puffy eyes this morning.
My limbs were weak and I was mentally exhausted. Dragging myself to put everything I have got left back to work and building that pipeline of mine, I was left with an empty shell without a soul after the lunch meeting. All I wanted was to find a corner where no one can see me and burst out into tears. If you know me, this is not something I will or can do. It's much easier to do that when the lights are out, before the delayed bedtime sits in.
Thinking that having some champagne would be a great way to end a depressing week, totally thrown out of my mind was some painkillers taken about an hour before. And given my current state of mind, I wasn't watching how much I was drinking. And being a cheap drinker, that 2 glasses within 10 mins was enough to kill me.
To my surprise (which I later found out to be just an illusion), I was just a little pinkish but was perfectly fine. On my way back, I couldn't get a cab in the insane storm so as a good girl (obviously!), I took the train home. I was one of the sardines packed in the train cabin with barely enough space to move my toes. Oxygen was either running out or that the alcohol was slowly getting into my system. I started to lose consciousness. I lost my sense of hearing soon after my sight started to fail. I got out the very next stop at Eunos. With the chilled wind blowing in my face I felt better but not well enough until I threw everything out. A really bitter bit got stuck in my throat and only then did I remember that I actually took some painkillers a couple of hours back. With barely enough energy to pick up my phone, I rang Mom and Dad. They came to pick me up immediately and I managed to holding and managed to not puke along the way. Finally threw up the last bit when I got home and only then did I feel better.
Terrible things don't come singularly. I'm blogging with 2 pieces of jumpers around me and I think I'm running a temperature. My tummy's churning and I feel like this is living hell. My nose is starting to run... Poooooooo!
A nightmare last night got me awaken in the middle of the night. It was too dark to figure from pillow stains if I cried but the corner of my eyes were wet. I could feel my body breathing so hard and sobbing because I saw something I'd rather die than to see in that dream. I couldn't sleep anymore after that and the result was sore and puffy eyes this morning.
My limbs were weak and I was mentally exhausted. Dragging myself to put everything I have got left back to work and building that pipeline of mine, I was left with an empty shell without a soul after the lunch meeting. All I wanted was to find a corner where no one can see me and burst out into tears. If you know me, this is not something I will or can do. It's much easier to do that when the lights are out, before the delayed bedtime sits in.
Thinking that having some champagne would be a great way to end a depressing week, totally thrown out of my mind was some painkillers taken about an hour before. And given my current state of mind, I wasn't watching how much I was drinking. And being a cheap drinker, that 2 glasses within 10 mins was enough to kill me.
To my surprise (which I later found out to be just an illusion), I was just a little pinkish but was perfectly fine. On my way back, I couldn't get a cab in the insane storm so as a good girl (obviously!), I took the train home. I was one of the sardines packed in the train cabin with barely enough space to move my toes. Oxygen was either running out or that the alcohol was slowly getting into my system. I started to lose consciousness. I lost my sense of hearing soon after my sight started to fail. I got out the very next stop at Eunos. With the chilled wind blowing in my face I felt better but not well enough until I threw everything out. A really bitter bit got stuck in my throat and only then did I remember that I actually took some painkillers a couple of hours back. With barely enough energy to pick up my phone, I rang Mom and Dad. They came to pick me up immediately and I managed to holding and managed to not puke along the way. Finally threw up the last bit when I got home and only then did I feel better.
Terrible things don't come singularly. I'm blogging with 2 pieces of jumpers around me and I think I'm running a temperature. My tummy's churning and I feel like this is living hell. My nose is starting to run... Poooooooo!
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
Home Is a House Except It's Filled With Love
Been spending these few days sorting out myself. Too many variables leading to too much confusions. Prayers lead to tears and tears are never meant to see daylight. Life's directions seem to be the easier option here. Longing for the patience and the strength made much easier by having a beautiful image but tears seem to blur the vision and the source of light just gets darker as the struggle continues.
By this point in time, Fatshark Guru must be hoping to strangle me for sounding too cryptic yet again.
This blog is an outlet for a sad and tired soul not longing for understanding. To be heard is a luxury. The "one happiness" seems like yet another impossibility.
I'm looking for love this time
Sounding hopeful but it's making me cry
Call it mystery or anything
Oh just as long as you call me
I sent the message on did you get it when I left it
Said well this catastrophic event
It wasn't meant to mean no harm
But to think there's nothing wrong is a problem
I'm looking for love this time
Sounding hopeful but it's making me cry (Trying not to ask why)
This love is a mystery
Mr. Curious...
Come back to me
I'm a Mr waiting on and never patient can't you see
That I'm the same the way you left me
In a hurry to spell check me
And I'm underlined already in envy green
And pencil red
Love is blinding when your timing's never right
But who am I to beg for difference
Finding love in a distant instant
But I don't mind
Take this hand and heal the pain. Bring the soul out of darkness for when the end of the tunnel is nowhere to be seen. The light at the end dims and that's where the tired soul can lean.
I'm looking for love this time
Sounding hopeful but it's making me cry
The only time in life when the illusion it creates tells you that life is going to be just great... The house without the fence. A home.
By this point in time, Fatshark Guru must be hoping to strangle me for sounding too cryptic yet again.
This blog is an outlet for a sad and tired soul not longing for understanding. To be heard is a luxury. The "one happiness" seems like yet another impossibility.
I'm looking for love this time
Sounding hopeful but it's making me cry
Call it mystery or anything
Oh just as long as you call me
I sent the message on did you get it when I left it
Said well this catastrophic event
It wasn't meant to mean no harm
But to think there's nothing wrong is a problem
I'm looking for love this time
Sounding hopeful but it's making me cry (Trying not to ask why)
This love is a mystery
Mr. Curious...
Come back to me
I'm a Mr waiting on and never patient can't you see
That I'm the same the way you left me
In a hurry to spell check me
And I'm underlined already in envy green
And pencil red
Love is blinding when your timing's never right
But who am I to beg for difference
Finding love in a distant instant
But I don't mind
Take this hand and heal the pain. Bring the soul out of darkness for when the end of the tunnel is nowhere to be seen. The light at the end dims and that's where the tired soul can lean.
I'm looking for love this time
Sounding hopeful but it's making me cry
The only time in life when the illusion it creates tells you that life is going to be just great... The house without the fence. A home.
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
Life Is An Experiment
Some people just have N.F.I that they think too highly of themselves! *huff
Soon I may have to make a decision that might affect my life for the next couple of years so I'm taking every single step very cautiously and being the "kiasee" me, I'm not quite prepared to put myself in a high risk position. Remember I mentioned contentment sometime ago? I think I'm more contented than ambitious but most people see me as a fighter, an ambitious surviver. On another hand, there have been times I know I can do much more and I want to do that much more. I suppose the first step to everything is to know what I really want.
When I clicked on my Fortune Cookie app in Facebook, it read "life is an experiment". Don't we all tend to hold back too much and refuse to move forward but does that mean that we're in comfort zone. What is comfort? Do we only move onto the next ship when we have reached a stage whereby the pull factor is too strong to resist, given that there's no push factor. If so, the world should have alot lesser movements than what I'm experiencing on a day in day out basis. During the last sermon, I was told that babies are born with only 2 types of fears - fear of being dropped and fear of loud noises. So where do we pick up this inertia from? Our peers from the more liberal countries, don't they just pluck themselves up easily and move on to a possibly better place? Am I ready?
Spent the entire late afternoon smashing carrots only to find out that it doesn't relieve pain from a sore little mouth. All I could do was pray and now I truly understand how some people can wish that they could take away that pain from their young ones by offering to bear the pain if they are able to. It is painful but I guess it's part of growing up and I guess it's the part & parcel process of learning the various types of pains in life in order to survive greater hurt.
Just like everything else in life, we have to learn to recover no matter how painful the wound can get. When the wounds get repeatedly torn open, we get used to the pain but eventually, the wounds will still heal themselves (provided you're not diabetic). At the end of the day, you will just get a scar. Whether the scar is pleasant or not, we will just have to alter our perception. Can one be emotionally diabetic?
你的天空
可有悬著想的云
你的天空
可会有冷的月
放逐在世界的另一边
任寂寞占据
一夜一夜
天空
藏著深深的思念
Soon I may have to make a decision that might affect my life for the next couple of years so I'm taking every single step very cautiously and being the "kiasee" me, I'm not quite prepared to put myself in a high risk position. Remember I mentioned contentment sometime ago? I think I'm more contented than ambitious but most people see me as a fighter, an ambitious surviver. On another hand, there have been times I know I can do much more and I want to do that much more. I suppose the first step to everything is to know what I really want.
When I clicked on my Fortune Cookie app in Facebook, it read "life is an experiment". Don't we all tend to hold back too much and refuse to move forward but does that mean that we're in comfort zone. What is comfort? Do we only move onto the next ship when we have reached a stage whereby the pull factor is too strong to resist, given that there's no push factor. If so, the world should have alot lesser movements than what I'm experiencing on a day in day out basis. During the last sermon, I was told that babies are born with only 2 types of fears - fear of being dropped and fear of loud noises. So where do we pick up this inertia from? Our peers from the more liberal countries, don't they just pluck themselves up easily and move on to a possibly better place? Am I ready?
Spent the entire late afternoon smashing carrots only to find out that it doesn't relieve pain from a sore little mouth. All I could do was pray and now I truly understand how some people can wish that they could take away that pain from their young ones by offering to bear the pain if they are able to. It is painful but I guess it's part of growing up and I guess it's the part & parcel process of learning the various types of pains in life in order to survive greater hurt.
Just like everything else in life, we have to learn to recover no matter how painful the wound can get. When the wounds get repeatedly torn open, we get used to the pain but eventually, the wounds will still heal themselves (provided you're not diabetic). At the end of the day, you will just get a scar. Whether the scar is pleasant or not, we will just have to alter our perception. Can one be emotionally diabetic?
你的天空
可有悬著想的云
你的天空
可会有冷的月
放逐在世界的另一边
任寂寞占据
一夜一夜
天空
藏著深深的思念
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