My First Tattoo

Woke up yesterday with a sore throat. Didn't feel quite well. But still covered some grounds with Will & Grace and this Finnish girl. We started with the Musuem of Natural History where they filmed Night at the Musuem. I could spend an entire day there but due to time constrains, we had to rush through and went to over to MoMA to queue up for free entry as it was Friday night. End of it all, we met up with "Lucky Teeth" and had dinner at a Singaporean restaurant opened by a Malaysian in Chinatown.

My throat is still unwell but still went ahead with my tattoo. The pain is unbelieveable and please remind me that this is going to be the first and last of my tattoo. I was trying so hard to be brave and not scream but I was perspiring right inside.

My chio bu tattoo artist, Virginia Elwood from Adorned @ New York, preparing me for the "rites of passage".


Outline of the tattoo...


Forcing a smile. P.S. My tattoo artist is very jude right?


The true agony.


The final product...


This tattoo means alot to me and it reminds me of my Grandma. If you're wondering what kind of flowers are on it, you don't know me and obviously my name... Anyhoos, it's ouching like mad now and I'm going to just stay in and waiting for someone to come online and chat with me...

我的小时候
吵闹任性时侯
我的外婆
总会唱歌哄我
夏天的午后
老老的歌安慰我
那首歌好像这样唱的
天黑黑欲落雨
天黑黑黑黑
离开小时候
有了自己的生活
新鲜的歌
新鲜的念头
任性和冲动
无法控制的时候
我忘记
还有这样的歌
天黑黑欲落雨
天黑黑黑黑
我爱上让我奋不顾身的一个人
我以为
这就是我所追求的世界
然而横冲直撞被误解被骗
是否成人的世界背后
总有残缺
我走在
每天必须面对的分岔路
我怀念
过去单纯美好小幸福
爱总是让人哭
让人觉得不满足
天空很大却看不清楚
好孤独
天黑的时候
我又想起那首歌
突然期待
下起安静的雨
原来外婆的道理早就唱给我听
下起雨
也要勇敢前进….
我相信
一切都会平息
我现在
好想回家去
天黑黑欲落雨
天黑黑黑黑

Tourist in NYC

Finally, I'll be getting my tattoo this weekend. The final idea would be two flowers that signifies my late Grandma and myself. Vines will branch out from the flower depicting the 4 seasons in a year. This will be done at Adorned New York. I couldn't get the tattoo artist I initially planned to get my tattoo done. Yoni Zilber is book through Spring. So I'm giving this artist a shot, I saw her works and I kinda like it. Most importantly, she did have a good grasp of what I wanted.

Planned to go to Macy's but got seduced into Victoria Secrets' and spent 2 hours there. Macy's only took 25% of that time. Empire State took even lesser if not for the queue and the elevator ride. It was foggy and I didn't catch much. My slight fear of heights didn't help the situation at all. I just took a quick walk and went back down to meet "Will & Grace" and that's not their nickname.

We did touristy things like walking to Bryant Park and subsequently, Times' Square. Tried to queue for last minute cheap tickets for Broadway but guessed we went too late. Had hotdog by Times Square and got stuck in Toys'R'Us. But nothing beats Charmin' bathroom experience. To queue for toilet is ridiculous but this sure makes landmark marketing case study. It's too troublesome to explain but you have got to seethis yourself. I might write on it when I've got the time but it's unbelieveable.

Other tourists caught on tape in Charmin'.


Cha cha cha, Charmin'!

What's Not Yours Will Never Be Yours.

白茫茫的星光 灑在長長路上
想念的冰涼 你知道嗎？
你淺淺的微笑 深似海的眼光
都能掀起我 滔天的巨浪

你相信嗎？ 這是命嗎？
這次我們放棄抵抗
哪怕擁抱 在身上 劃下深深的傷

只要看你一眼一瞬間
哪怕是最後畫面
我的世界 因為愛過而完美
誰都不該離太遠
只要看你一眼一瞬間
足夠我熬過千年
我不後悔 愛若讓末日提前
我們要一起 好好迎接那句點

白茫茫的星光 灑在長長路上
想念的冰涼 你知道嗎？
你淺淺的微笑 深似海的眼光
都能掀起我 滔天的巨浪

你相信嗎？ 這是命嗎？
這次我們放棄抵抗
哪怕擁抱 在身上 劃下深深的傷

只要看你一眼一瞬間
哪怕是最後畫面
我的世界 因為愛過而完美
誰都不該離太遠
只要看你一眼一瞬間
足夠我熬過千年
我不後悔 愛若讓末日提前
我們要一起 好好迎接那句點

如果相愛是錯 錯過又算什麼
這一次我們 寧死不放手
往彼此的心裡跳 跳過天荒地老

只要看你一眼一瞬間
哪怕是最後畫面
我的世界 因為愛過而完美
誰都不該離太遠
只要看你一眼一瞬間
足夠我熬過千年
我不後悔 愛若讓末日提前
我們要一起 好好迎接那句點
我們要一起 好好迎接那句點


The rain and hail in Woodbury didn't quite help brighten up the mood. For once, retail therapy didn't help. For the good half of the day, I just tagged behind Dodo in NYC who was in an equally bad mood. We tried to get some Godiva and hot chocolate to soothe the cold but it didn't help. Who says chocolate helps cheer people up? Advertising gimmick, maybe?

I have never "heard" such silence from myself before. From Manhattan to Brooklyn, I could still force a smile and some words. From Brooklyn to Woodbury, I was almost dead. I couldn't sleep. Dodo in NYC said that I was tossing and turning the entire night and I told him, I don't even know if I slept. From Woodbury to New Jersey, I was knocked out with my nano ringing in my ear totally ignoring "My Twin in NYC" and her 3 Taiwanese friend. From New Jersey back to Manhattan then from Manhattan to Queens, I was awake and looking at the suburb skylines of Jersey to the brightly lit city of Manhattan then to "Tiong Bahru" town of Queens back to Manhattan. Sat in the car while Dodo in NYC makes his "emotional delievery" back to its owner, I thought he has probably sorted out some thought but like me, I think he is as upset. We're both sitting in the same room, msning each other because I can't bring myself to talk.

Got a dress from BCBG today which Dodo in NYC commented that I looked beautiful in it and if the ABK saw it, he would have busted one of his balls (whatever that meant). Felt pleased but wasn't delighted as I usually would be.

"My Twin in NYC" said something today that made me think. We were discussing about guys and such. She said something that made me wonder, "if the guy cared enough about me..."

I know I'd still be here because I want to but I don't think I'd want to be here because a part of me knows that the thing I'm waiting for will never come. It is just an illusion, a good and bad dream rolled into one. It's about time I wake up from this whole sweet dream and I'm thankful I've at least got an image in my mind how great life could be if only...

Brief translation is provided for the benefit of people like Dodo in NYC...

我发现站了好久 不知道要往哪走
还不想回家的我 再多人陪只会更寂寞
许多话题关于我 就连我也有听过
我的快乐要被认可 委屈却没有人诉说
夜半信仰丛白剥落 拿掉防卫剩下什么
为什么脆弱时候 想你更多

Finding myself standing here for some time, not knowing where to go
I don't wanna go home but even standing in amidst of the crowd, I'd still be lonely
I don't even care what everyone thinks or say about me
My happiness needs affirmation, I can turn to no one but suffer from my own misery
My faith sheds after dusk, what am I left with after stripping off the defence
Why am I missing you more when I'm vulnerable

如果你也听说 有没有想过我
想普通交朋友 还是你依然会心疼我
好多好多的话想对你说 悬着一颗心没着落
要怎么附和 舍不得 又无可奈何

Have you thought about me when you hear this
Are we just normal friends or do you really care?
I've so much to tell you, my heart hasn't found a home
What am I suppose to so? So what if I don't wanna do it, I simply have no choice.

如果你也听说 会不会相信我
对流言会附和 还是你知道我还是我
跌跌撞撞才明白了许多 冷漠的人就你一个
想到你想起我 胸口依然温柔

Have you thought about me when you hear this
Will you fall for rumours or you know I'm just me
Even if you're just cold and far away
If I know that you're thinking of me, that's all enough.

许多话题关于我 就连我也有听过
我想我宁可都沉默 其实反而显得做作
夜半信仰丛白剥落 拿掉防卫剩下什么
为什么脆弱时候 想你更多

如果你也听说 有没有想过我
想普通交朋友 还是你依然会心疼我
好多好多的话想对你说 悬着一颗心没着落
要怎么附和 舍不得 要无可奈何

如果你也听说 会不会相信我
对流言会附和 还是你知道我还是我
跌跌撞撞才明白了许多 冷漠的人就你一个
想到你想起我 胸口依然温柔

如果你也听说 有没有想过我
想普通交朋友 还是你依然会心疼我
跌跌撞撞才明白了许多 冷漠的人就你一个
想到你想起我 胸口依然温柔
如果你想起我 你会想到什么

Christmas Steamboat

It feels so good to be slurping down hot soup and be gathered with fellow Singaporeans in cold winter New York City on Christmas Day when the chilling wind would have gotten into our bones if we were found strolling down the dead streets. Sharing "babu" jokes and our discovery of people's general non-preference for "attap chis" was just some of the fun. As we were watching Forrest Gump on the tv, we realised that we are all not young anymore. Everyone present were around my age. For me, it was great to meet someone I supposedly used to know. We weren't exactly friends but knew of each other's presence. I played for an alumni basketball team for her secondary school. Weird, I know. I almost became her teammate. She looked very familiar on snowboarding day but she went by a name which I wasn't familiar with. And ta da, all the way in NYC, I actually met up with someone and became friends after 13 or 14 years of "oh I've seen her face before".

Don't know if we're lucky but we didn't get to eat the rabbit meat today.

The Spread...

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to all of you!!!

I'm a solid 13 hours behind you so even when you're back at work on Boxing Day, I'm still celebrating mine. Went to Pink Elephant last night, pretty much an Asian party. Got picked up by a cutie but he didn't quite got lucky with me so end of story. In fact, I came back early and subsequently went for a walk down to Rockeller Center to catch a glimpse of the Christmas tree. Wasn't fantastic though but finally got to be a tourist and took some pictures. Here they are...

Preparing to go to Pink Elephant with Dodo in NYC. This picture is pretty much a "newscaster" picture - I was actually wearing boxers... Hur hur hur


Outside the gorgeous St Patrick's.


The tourist outside NBC.

Seeing red in Times' Square.


You decide - Nice or Naughty?

On a separate note, I've never felt more honest and open in my life to someone. I really want this to work so I don't want things to start on a bad note. I hope things can be seen on a more positive note and I still look forward to the warm hugs when I get home. Trying to be more of nice and less of naughty but kept doing things that makes me more naughty than nice...

Snowboarding Debut

The first time in my life trying snowboarding thinking it might be similar to wakeboarding. I couldn't be more wrong. Except for the rain that totally drenched me, everything else is different. You might think at least both of my feet are strapped to the board and hence, makes them similar right? In wakeboarding, we don't take off and put on our boots all so often and we're putting on the wakeboarding boots or what we call bindings (means totally different things in snowboarding anyway) and cuz we won't be wearing GLOVES/MITTENS while trying to getting on, makes things alot easier and less tiring!

The disaster has barely started...

Water started to get into my gloves and hand warmers and neck and beanie and.... EVERYTHING was WET! It doesn't usually rain but I guess I was just unlucky... I wish it was snowy but apparently, the rain made the snow softer to call on. Even then, I was aching as soon as I got onto the bus. so much for reminding myself to warm up those half dead knees.

When I was at the bunny slope, I alomst gave up and told myself that I'm never ever going snowboarding again in my entire life. Then I started to go a little further and when I could do a very long stretch (well, for me it was quite long), without falling, I was hooked and wanted to do it all over again. My only complain would be the lift, scared the shit out of me. I have slight fear of heights and it was pure horrifying to be on that lift, get stuck up there when it stopped while a gust of wind blew past and shook my soul out of my body. I was screaming like a preschool kid.

As i moved to the slightly bigger slopes, the fun started to kick in especially when I didn't fall for more than 5 seconds gliding down the slope. But whenever I fall, the trauma repeats itself all over again. I had fun and I know I'll try it again.

My blogs' been ended pretty abruptly because I get really tired by the end of the day but will try to fill you guys in as much as possible. Meanwhile, do stay tune and I promise to keep you guys in the loop...

Woodbury Commons Part One

Never in my lifetime have I shopped the way I did in Woodbury Commons yesterday. It was freezing cold and we were in the middle of snow covered mountains but there wasn't a single minute that I felt cold. My andrenalin was pumping, blood was rushing and pocket was bleeding. I walked from shop to shop in the intermittent snow, undeterred, fighting the war that I mapped out early. "I must go to Kate Spade, Coach, Kenneth Cole, BCBG, UGGS..."

The throphies of victory came in paperbags of different colours and sizes and well of course, the stack of receipts that would scare the hell out of myself had I not been the culprit who committed the heinous crime.

And guess what, I will be returning to Woodbury on Boxing Day for revenge on the shops I missed out. That place is a shopping village designed to strip of every penny on you and make you wanna go back for more. On a more serious note, I hope I can stop and not buy so much this time. Although the sale this time would be unbelievable.

Try me...

Women Just Love Shopping.

I have got so much to tell, so much to say but unfortunately, I'm going snowboarding tomorrow and I desperately need some sleep. Do take care and I'll fill you in soon. Anyway, no pictures cuz I was too busy shopping. I have never ever spent so much money in the span of a few hours. Man it feels good... Until the credit card bill arrives...

* Please do leave some hints on who you anonymous-es are... It's getting too many for my puny little brains to handle.

Fine, I'm The Dodo!

Woke up to some dim sum in Chinatown and was walking around downtown Broadway. Ended up around Union Square. Something really silly happened today. I was in the train when I discovered "a disaster". As usual, the Blur Queen, aka Me, had my hands stuck inside my pocket to keep themwarm. Then was fondling with my camera and suddenly occured to me that I actually put my battery to charge last night. I turned to our "New York Dodo" friend and said, "You promise you won't laugh at me ok. I'm going to tell you something. I brought my camera but I think I left the battery in the apartment." So I was lugging my camera around the entire day without any power and wasn't able to take any pictures. Wasted. Another one of the "bumping into glass door" sort of story to tell...

The incessant winter weather inducing eating should stop right about now. Don't think going back with a bigger waistline is going to help so I shall put a stop to all the temptations!

The cold air seemed to have cleared the head. Even if it's freezing out there, some thoughts were warm enough to keep the spirits up. Some voices are comforting but what it brings may be unequally husky. The legs kept going at an increasing speed, the body is unsure of the steps ahead, the heart wants to go, the head knows it's rocky, the roads aren't readily paved, reminding oneself to have faith that the steam roller will even out the roads and warm the hands needed to drive the machine. The roads ahead needs to be paved with caution and loads of TLC. One day, we will have 21 elephants walk on it just like how people started to believe in the Brooklyn Bridge. Like any roads or bridges, there will be days of heavy traffic or no traffic but as long as the roads are functioning in both directions, this road will not cease to function. When will the roads be opened for traffic?

South Street Seaport

I have got to admit that I'm darn useless and I think I'm suffering from mild hypothermia. It's freezing out there but serve me right, I chose the open air touristy bus seats in order to get a better view. I haven't quite learnt my lesson from yesterday and got myself frozen up all over again today. For two days, on my way back, I had to stop at Bloomingdale's which is just a block away to walk around in order for me to regain some body heat and hopefully my limbs won't freeze up again.

Was at South Street Seaport today. When I bought the online tickets for the Gray Line earlier this week, I thought the tour included my trip to Statue of Liberty so that's darn cool isn't it. Stupid me, when asked if I wanna do cruise or whatnot said, oh cruise, thinking that that's the Circle Line that brings me to the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island. Within minutes of receiving my tickets, I came to realise that I have asked for the wrong trip. I could have told the lady but my skin is so thin, I just walked off. So i ended up paying another 12 bucks to get on the circle line which luckily, was minimal cost. Due to time constraints, I couldn't go on the cruise yesterday. So I took the whole Downtown Loop again to get to South Street Seaport and went on the cruise. So I actually got pretty close to our green lady in 2 days consecutively. I'm not that touristy!!! So I paid for 12 extra bucks to see the same thing all over again but this time, I couldn't get onto the island. Which is also a blessing because that gift shop just seem to encourage you to swipe your credit cards without thinking. Upon reaching South Street Seaport, I was reluctant to go on the cruise so I happily went for lunch a found A FOODCOURT. Anything below 10 bucks for lunch is cheap here I guess so managed to get myself what I reckon as decent lunch in New York. Sat down beside this Japanese girl, Yumi and we started a very long chat. Then I felt that she might have different preferences, what she might be Jem and Twiggy's kinda girl (if you know what I mean), so I made my grand exit and left for my cruise. All in all, I have met several single female travellers during this trip so it was kinda fun speaking to them. Over at the MET the other day, chatted with this girl, Kelly from Oregon, while waiting for coat check, was sweet enough to show me pictures of her trip.

Back to South Street Seaport, I saw Victoria's Secret!!! The candy looking stuffs were irresistable but I have got to pull myself back. Frankly, the choices there were limited so didn't get to buy alot. Yes, I did bought some. But I will find a bigger store to go crazy over. On my way back, I was so tempted to walk into Banana Republic. I know I'll go berserk in there so I restrained myself from stepping in. The dress in the display window - GORGEOUS! Oh and when I was trying to get my body temperature back to normal over at Bloomingdale's on Lexington Ave, I saw this absolutely beautiful, classy dress. I was thinking even if it's above what I'd pay for a very good dress, I might consider buying it. When I saw the price tag, I was horrified. I think it was 859 USD. Well, if the big one is in, I'll go swipe that one off my list. But knowing myself, I'd never muster enough courage to do that. Besides, I will have my BBK waiting for me when I finally get my car. Car before dresses. Car before shoes. Car before bags. I'm going nuts. I wish I could go all SHOES, BAGS, DRESSES, right about NOW! Spending money in New York can be so brainless. And I haven't even got to Macy's!!!

For you folks at home or whereever you are, here are some pictures from today...

The Brooklyn Bridge with Manhattan Bridge in the background.

This picture is solely for Breyton. See the entire piece of land, it's a major helipad. There were like 10 helis on it and it seems like it could take another 200 more. the 10 helis barely took up any space at all on the thing.


The only free thing in New York. The ferry trip to Staten Island.

The US Hokkien Association. They're everywhere. They even have a something Fujianese Church. Hurhurhur...


Last one just for laughs... I really love the M&M ads here... (Think: King Kong)

Downtown

So exhausted from the downtown + Brooklyn hop on and hop off tour. I still have no one to help me take pictures and I'm going to repeat the downtown town again and this time, I'll be going uptown. But the uptown won't excite me as much now cuz I'm explored quite a few places. Thought I'd share some sights...

Most of these places I haven't been in there and explore them but will do so in the coming week.

M&M's World. How cool... Melts in your mouth...


This Toys'R'Us is so huge, they even have a ferris wheel in it!


You need a button?


General Post Office right opposite Madison Square Garden which is neither a square or garden...


Still haven't decided if I wanna check this out... Vertigo...


Yes, you've seen this in postcards, I know...

But have you seen this?

That is probably the only picture with me inside to prove that, I was really there. I didn't just buy the postcards!!! Then again, did I superimpose that? Go figure!

Keep Walking

A day of endless walking and finally I'm back. I'm missing the iSqueeze in my room. I never knew I had flat feet until I met this podistrist at the wakeboarding shop few months back. So now I know my pain can be attributed to some known factor but then again, it never quite deterred me from sports or excessive walking. Maybe I just have a much higher tolerance for pain. Talking about pain, my shoulders were aching and my feet were sore but I still made myself walked from 88th down to 60th street and that is quite a long way. And being the ghay kiang person, I bought drinks and magazines on 70 something street (high 7s) and lugged it back. My fingers were cold and breaking off and I have to admit, I wasn't very bright. I was so counting down the streets as the numbers get smaller.

Went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art (MET) today. And yes, I kept walking. Took me about 3.5 hours which is considered very fast. Most people spend an entire day there but see, I don't have anyone to discuss the work with me nor to even take pictures with so I kept walking and camera whoring everything except myself, very much against the advice of Fatshark Guru but hey, my skin quite thin ok and I do look weird taking pictures of myself!

In Central Park... The Jackie Kennedy Reservoir...


Finally got myself the prepaid phone card only to find out that near where Marsk's, there's an AT&T. Just round the corner!!! WTH! At least, I'm walked more than half of Lexington Ave.

New York's been nice so far but given less than 48 hours, I already know that this is not a place I can live in. Firstly, I didn't know how much I miss Singapore's weather until I got here. It's funny how in such weather, laksa would be the perfect dinner but instead, we have it in hot sweaty tropical Singapore. I've always loved the cold but this is a little too much for comfort. Having said that, today's weather is almost perfect. No doubt it is a puny point away from freezing, the sun made it seem alot more habitable but such happiness is short-lived, by 4 plus, the sky is starting to turn really dark.

It's still early but I'm so sleepy...

Lost and Overslept in New York

The estimated time of arrival to New York JFK was supposed to be around 9ish. By the time I left the customs, it was about 1am.

The plane had to stop over at Anchorage because some old man from China got either a stroke or heart attack. The wife was screaming and even when we were at Anchorage, the wife was still hesitant about getting down and you know, these people are possible illegal immigrants. The paremedics had to reassure her that her foot is already on US grounds so no to worry. Here a short clip on the commotion in the plane when the paramedics cam on board. Nothing juicy but well... (Due to my technical limitations, no video is up just yet... Stay tuned.)

Our friend waiting impatiently for me and was grumbling about how he has finished two magazines from back to back and I haven't arrive. Well, it's not my fault. Then again, I forgot his address and the customs had to go out and shout for him, I still owe him an "act-cute + apologetic" smile.

It's like 4pm New York time and I just woke up not too long ago. Going to get my butt of this chair and find my way around. Apparently, my plans to wander around the MET is useless. Will try wake up earlier tomorrow...

Now what shall I do... First, get a prepaid card, but where? I'm so lost!

一眼瞬間

Were you talking about this song?



白茫茫的星光 灑在長長路上
想念的冰涼　你知道嗎
　　　
淺淺的微笑　深似海的眼光
突然掀起我　滔天的巨浪

妳相信嗎　這是命嗎
這次我們放棄抵抗
那怕擁抱 在身上　劃下深深的傷

只要看你一眼一瞬間　哪怕是最後畫面
我的世界　因為愛過而完美　誰都不該離太遠

只要看你一眼一瞬間　足夠我熬過千年
我不後悔　愛若讓末日提前
我們要一起　好好迎接那句點

如果相愛是錯
錯過又算什麼
這一次我們　抵死不放手
往彼此的心裡跳　跳到天荒地老


Currently transiting in Hong Kong International Airport, found a comfy space and set up "camp" here. The only things short - the fire and the tent. I'm waiting for this black guy to wake up who's taking the seat in front of me. Not a very good idea to be wearing white pants and be sitting on the ground. But hack it, this is the only power point I've found so far and I'm not going to explore with bags that weigh a tonne. My flight's is in another 3 hours' time so I'd better make myself comfortable. Ok, not a very good idea because my thigh is burning under the laptop! Obviously, not designed to be a good "laptop".

My flight started out rather rough. I usually do an early check in online ebing the kiasu Singaorean that I am so that I'll get the seat I want. I even had to make a detour on Friday just to check myself in early. So when I wobbled all the way down the aisle to my seat bearing in mind that I was carrying a shitload of stuffs, to my horror, I saw two kids sitting on my 55K. Then the Mom, did not even try to be polite, just took it for granted that I will swap my seats with her. "My whole family leh and you only one person, cannot change meh?" I went, "what?". I wasn't given much time to react... Still in a daze, the "not so bright stewardess" came along and asked if I could change to be seated in the middle of a pile of people. I told her I would if you give me a similar seat, window front row seat, otherwise I'm just terribly sorry. The stewardess just turned to tell the lady and said, "sorry but this passenger don't want to move." I'm sure there's a better way she could phrase that. Airhead! (Pun intended in everyway!)

The family started to speak in hokkien thinking that I don't freaking understand and needless to say, they spoke about everything bad they could say about me and they felt that they were talking to a wall. BUT I WAS STILL IN SHOCK??!! I just put on my sunglasses, pretended to look cool and ignored them, as if I've transformed with a cold heartless creature. Which essentially I did, depending on which perspective you're looking from. I knew I was being a bit of a fussy pot but I will not allow myself to feel uncomfortable on a flight because I do get motion sickness very easily and I'm not going to risk that especially when I still have 20 solid hours of flight to go. Tough cookie eh?

The Mom sat beside me and the whole trip, she made life really difficult for me. She was blasting about me in Hokkien, her fats were overflowing and her hands were constantly on my arm rest. I was so afraid I didn't even dared to watch my in flight entertainment because I had to lift the screen behind her calf. Naturally, I will need her to ask her to excuse her legs. After the meal, there was a bit of a musical chair and the little boy eventually sat beside me. I slowly tried bribe him with Toberone, peanuts and candies. When he was complaining of thirst after the nuts, I even got him coke. And we chatted about everything from cars to his favourite colours and within 30 minutes, we were best of friends. Smarty as I always am, I was trying to appease the father through him. You should have seen how angry he was when I refused to change seats. He could have killed me with a pinch!

The little boy told me he's going to Disneyland and I exclaimed and said that I've never ever been to Disneyland and he should thank his Mom and Dad because they worked very hard to afford such a holiday for him. Instantly, he snuggled up to his Dad and thank him. Such a sweet kid and of course, the Dad soften and smiled at me. But I genuinely feel kids should learn to be grateful and not take things for granted. Holidays are not a must for parents to provide and they look every bit like the average middle class people (not a criticism, just stating a fact and opinion) and a holiday to them must be a huge cost, not mentioning that they have 4 kids in tow and a Grandma. I'm actually glad that I made him make his Dad's day though. We all don't thank our parents enough. Even for myself, I usually just stuff some extra cash over the usual insurance payment amount for my Dad but have never verbally expressed the gratitude.

Another 18 hours before New York City and my bones are already shattering to bits. I need a tempur!

I miss the face that I missed to see this morning...

Leaving On A Jetplane

All my bags are packed
I'm ready to go

In less than 18 hours, I'm be on my way to New York, a city full of excitement and the unknown for me. Spending time walking aimlessly in museums and being a real tourist is just part of the idea. Getting a tattoo that I've always wanted but never had a chance to do so would be an added bonus. Taking time away from work and messy stuffs, I just hope that my head would be cleared out in the subzero winds. The new year would be one I would anticipate beautiful things to happen and of course, a new car. But nothing will beat finding the right encyclopedia. I'm still clueless as of now, how I actually got myself into this journey to the unknown and why I'm so determined this time round. I've always known myself as the kind of person who would regard people/things who/which come and go as part and parcel but not actively longing for things to happen. Forcing a smile is not my forte but I'm getting better at it. Letting go has never been so tough.

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go

I thought I could easily walk away and pretend that things have never happened. To interrupt wasn't part of the master plan and to hang on was never a mark on the blue print. I really thought I could just leave and not be bothered at all. It's easy to be a friend and hear things out. The situation, however, prevents me from inputting. I do not want to be "the factor" but unbeknownst to me, I naturally became "the factor". In a weird way, I'm glad that I could be "the factor" but I do not wish to and how I even wish I could choose to appear at a better time. Have I not prayed hard enough?

This rainy season is probably not here to stay but we have to admit, we are living in a country whereby monsoon is unavoidable. If only the rain could clear so that I can readily embrace the sunshine. "The rain just passed. Air smells clean. A good breakfast brunch is waiting." To me, that started all the sunshine I was looking out for in this 2007 monsoon. To me, I was ready for breakfast brunch. To me, the rain will stop one day.

Then the rain started again to remind myself that I might be just deluding myself, believing in what may never happen. The sunshine may come from another source of light instead, if the sunshine ever comes. But this sunshine warms me to a point of no return. The air has started to fog up all over again and visility is reduced to before the rain began. Looking out at the clear sky and breathing in the still air now just irks me that a perfect storm is brewing and I'm going to be cold and wet yet again.

Let there be light. Let there be sunshine. Let there be a warm breeze that surrounds me. Let there be tomorrow. Let there be us.

接下来我去迎接不后退

Christmas lunch was at Au Petit Salut @ Dempsey Hill this afternoon. I was viewing some pictures from Christmas lunch last year. So much have chanced. People have come and gone and "Comedy Boss'" baby girl is now a cute little young lady. She is like an indication of how I have grew in this company because when I first came into the office, "Comedy Boss'" wife was in labour and the kid was born not long after I joined. Seeing her learn to walk then talk is like the growing up process for myself. After the very long lunch, "Comedy Boss" sent me an sms which was really touching. He has never spoken to me about any one in particular minus off those times when he was taking a piss at the guys' comments on my legs and shirts. I knew he wanted the best for me and he could see what I saw in this "legendary figure". I'm surprised he was secretly looking out and vetting for me. I must say the comments he sms-ed me, has an impact on me. I now know and can totally feel that he cared for me more than "just a baby of the office" but more like an elder brother looking out for me.

Driving round the country can be fun when the company is right. Inspiring conversations and reassuring looks are just part of the joy. Whether the silence was conveyed across as mere silence or distress due to the current awkward situation, the comforting touch from the warm fingers just seemed to announce that "everything is gonna be fine". There were no need for words. At least that was how I felt. 如果你想起我 你会想到什么 The fear of standing in amidst of a one way street and unsure what homecoming would be like in a month's time is more or less being eliminated to a firm yet shaky extent.

all i wanna do i do it for you
心里能感觉你们还在
如此靠近的遥远
想念的瞬间不断浮现
接受啊身边有点孤单
我准备每个再见面
接下来有好有坏
我只要记得起点
接下来我去迎接不后退
接下来可好可坏
有你们陪在每一天
all i wanna do i do it for you
就算啊偶尔我觉得累
是了解推著我向前
do it i do it for you
我们一起飞
飞得更远
替我们实现
梦的极限
让我看得见
我的信念

Last Words

Another 2 more hours and I will be out of this place till next year. Over the past year, I have had my fair share of grumbling and complains but all in all, I still enjoy being here in some odd way. Needless to say, stray thoughts come across my mind every now and then but thankfully, I've decided to persevere and put my head on and hopefully at the end of the day, I can emerge the winner even if it's just a milli-second ahead. In the coming year, I will endeavor to achieve more and hopefully, the sky would be brighter when I return.

Like everything else in life, nothing goes down without a fight. But like my previous entry, when I think it's time to walk away, with hesitation, I will do so. For now, I'm still happy fighting...

The Little Black Dress

My standpoint is made very clear. Whether in time to come, I'll feel upset, I can only hope and be optimistic that I will not have to be in those shoes. I'm not trying to squeeze in to fit into a dress that I can't fit but I'm just hoping that the dress can be sent for tailoring before I buy it. The designer has to decide if he wants to alter this dress because if he doesn't, this will just be a dress that you see through the window display. Tempted as I may be to just grab the dress and swipe it into the account, it is still a fact that the dress will not be able to accommodate the flabs. So one day if the dress fits, it'll make me a happy girl but if it doesn't, I guess life still has to move on. But even then, this is not one dress that you just give up and not try because this is that little black dress that you know you'll look absolutely gorgeous in and the comfort is incomparable. It's unexplainable.

No action is required at this point in time. I'm just trying to be as positive as I can imagine myself to be.

张惠妹 - 人质
我和你啊 存在一種 危險關係
彼此挾持 這另一部分 的自已
本以為這完整了 愛的定義
那就乖乖的守護著你

相愛變成 猜忌懷疑的 爛遊戲
規則是要 憋著呼吸 越靠越近
但你的溫柔 是我唯一的沉溺
你是愛我的 就不怕有縫隙
在我心上用力的 開一槍
讓一切歸零 在這聲巨響
如果愛是說什麼 都不能放
我不掙扎 反正我也 沒差

人質在這一刻 得到釋放
相愛的純粹落得 如此下場
你滿意嗎 我們都別 說謊

What Every Woman Should Know

A little alcohol goes a long way, including putting you on a emotional bungee between the seconds.

It's funny how when I clicked for a "New Fortune Cookie" on Facebook, I got the message, "Don't Ask, Don't Say. Everything Lies In Silence". To a certain extent, silence is a reasonably fit-for-all key in most cases, especially when we would like to lay it all out and sort out the solutions.

It's rare but it happened this morning. I came in early for work and started to bury myself under a pile of emails waiting to be cleared and searches which I have given up hope on since I'll be going away for a long time and wouldn't have the time to follow up with it. But that was what I wanted to do, or rather, that was what I thought I wanted to do. After an hour of aimlessly whacking the stupid keyboard which my colleague told me that it was going to fall apart if I hit it any harder, I just broke down and stomped out of the office to get my morning tea. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't angry or anything. Just a little frustrated with myself for being unable to find the answer I thought I would find. At the same time, I don't know if I really want an answer now.

I never like to put myself in a vulnerable position which is why I always choose to leave. Coincidentally, I will be disappearing for a while, 3 weeks to be exact. This is not a form of escape like it seems to be, it is a retreat. Retail therapy... You can already imagine the grin hanging by the corner of my lips.

Just before I clicked on "Publish Post", an email from Urban Legend Wifey came it and it says,

MAYA ANGELOU'S
BEST POEM EVER

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

enough money within her control to move out
and rent a place of her own,
even if she never wants to or needs to...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

something perfect to wear if the employer,
or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

a youth she's content to leave behind....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to
retelling it in her old age....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

one friend who always makes her laugh...

and one who lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

a good piece of furniture not previously owned

by anyone else in her family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems,
and a recipe for a meal
that will make her guests feel honored...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

a feeling of control over her destiny...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

how to fall in love without losing herself...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

how to quit a job,
break up with a lover,
and confront a friend without
ruining the friendship...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...
(I did not CAPS what was CAPS-ED, it was there... What is it trying to say?)

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

that she can't change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

that her childhood may not have been perfect, but it's over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

whom she can trust,
whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't take it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

where to go...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table...
or a charming inn in the woods...
when her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

what she can and can't accomplish in a day...
a month...and a year...

Argh, I did an extensive pipeline and I can't remember where I left it. Urgh!! I don't want to have to redo this.

Yet I digress...

I have so many things I'd wanna say but I can't find the right words. I was unable to string a proper sentence today and I refuse to speak to anyone on the phone just yet. It's weird that I haven't quite opened my mouth since I stepped in. I can't explain the things I'm going through now. I have no idea how to do it the "me" way and it's pointless to ramble on sounding like a headless chicken.

I'll still be here...

NY in NY?

It's going to be a month of NO WAKEBOARDING for me. I don't know how I'm going to cope with it so the plan is to ride twice on Saturday. The plan is to go out 10am - 2pm, go for lunch and to sit around till 5pm and I'll finish around 7pm. Call me crazy! And after planning for my flight "sleeping" schedule, I have decided not to sleep on Saturday night and if I can't take it, I'll take a short nap and force myself to get up and to board the plane super sleepy on Sunday. My "concierge" Zhoos already warned me that he's going to be very tired and wants to go to sleep. That means, do not disturb him if I'm jet-lagging. Hopefully the "hotel" is not like one of these... HAHAHA!!!

Dunas Paraiso

I told Zhoos I wanted to go all the touristy stuffs so before he goes on leave, I shall wonder around myself, check out all the museums, do all the touristy stuffs like before we plan other stuffs in the pipeline like snowboarding and what not. Needless to say, the shopping is a guy-less affair, unless he wants to entertain me. Hur hur *hint hint

What can I do while I'm there?

Any suggestions?

I've been told to be put on the waiting list after I touched down in New York if I'd like to return earlier. Initially, the itinerary is designed based on flights available and not by personal preference. With the current itinerary, I would have to get extra annual leaves from next year but that is not of an issue if I don't intend to go for another huge trip next year. And most likely, that is not going to happen. My pocket is already bleeding from this trip and I even have to get my credit limit increased like 3 times. On one hand, I just wanna complete my trip and let time roll while I'm there. Besides, if I come home in the brand new year, the world might be all new again. On another hand, I wanna spend New Year with friends and family. But considering this year's New Year is going to be different without the bunch of nieces and nephews, maybe I should just count the year down in Times' Square. I miss the Christmas tree we all helped set up last year and the Kris Kringle was so much fun.


CCM's Itinerary...

SUN 16DEC
DEP SINGAPORE 1125 CX 714 NON-STOP
TERMINAL 1 ECONOMY BOEING 777-300
ARR HONG KONG 1510 CONFIRMED 03HR 45MIN
TERMINAL 1 LUNCH

SUN 16DEC
DEP HONG KONG 1900 CX 840 NON-STOP
ECONOMY BOEING 777
ARR NEW YORK JFK 2110 CONFIRMED 15HR 10MIN
TERMINAL 7 MULTI MEALS

FRI 04JAN
DEP NEW YORK JFK 0900 CX 841 NON-STOP
TERMINAL 7 ECONOMY BOEING 777
05JAN
ARR HONG KONG 1400 CONFIRMED 16HR 00MIN
MULTI MEALS

SAT 05JAN
DEP HONG KONG 1600 CX 711 NON-STOP
TERMINAL 1 ECONOMY BOEING 777
ARR SINGAPORE 1950 CONFIRMED 03HR 50MIN
TERMINAL 1 REFRESHMENT -
COMPLIMENTARY

As much as I wanna come home for New Year, I have no idea who to spend it with. So I might opt to spend it on the way back. Besides I'll be traveling "ahead" of time, so effectively, I could skip New Year altogether. Awww, this sounds so bitter! So let's vote, should I spend New Year in Singapore or New York?

Lousy Pick Up Line

An interesting anecdote I've like to share...

This happened to me 5 mins ago.

After sending Urban Legend Wifey midway back to her car, I headed back for office. I met this gweilo in the elevator.

GL: Nice shirt.
Me: Thanks.
GL: Nice legs.
Me: Make up your mind, shirt or legs. Haha.
GL: Haha... What are you doing this Christmas?
Me: I'm going for a holiday.
GL: Where to?
Me: New York.
GL: When?
Me: This weekend.
GL: Nice. Wanna do drinks before you leave?
Me: HUH? Don't think so, the rest of the week is very packed.
GL: How about a quick one after work today?
Me: Thanks but no thanks. Quickies aren't my preference.
GL: Haha alright. How about a nice dinner?
Me: Nope. Not interested, really.
GL: Married?
Me: Nope but still not interested. *Smile
GL: *shrug How about...
*Elevator reaches my floor on time.
Me: Nope, I'm here. See you, actually hope not. *Scrammed off.

I was laughing to myself ALOUD and wondering how stupid can he be? I know I was really bad but get the "no" on the first time dude.

Intangible Gratification

Part of why I enjoy my job so much got to be the job satisfaction I get. Monetary aspect aside, which is of course necessary for survival, the genuine gratification I get from my candidates really touched me every now and then. Earlier this year, I placed this other girl who is although super senior in her field, she's still considered a small placement. She was in Hong Kong when I told her about the good news and she got me a really nice mobile phone strap. It's not so much what she got me but the fact that she remembered me while on holiday and made it a point to show her gratitude.

Received this card a while ago. The girl who sent me the card hasn't officially moved but will be doing it in January,so it's not absolutely done and dusted but the gesture itself made me feel that I've definitely done something right. Never in my life would I imagine myself to do what I'm doing but guess what, I'm here and totally enjoying it. Over the 1.5 years, I've learnt to close my eyes and ears to some things and close my mouth on most things. Life is alot easier this way and needless to say, I'm smiling alot more. As I slowly watch my dreams unfold itself, things coming the way exactly how I wanted it, maybe not quite there yet but it's like watching a flower slowing blooming. The joy is inexplicable.

Can't wait for my New York trip this coming Sunday. I'm trying to plan my "sleep plan" on the flight so that I don't stay awake when I get there because Zhoos has warned me that he would be very tired and wants to sleep so it is implied that I should just sleep and not bug him when I land. Would be good to counter the jet lag as well. It's already Tuesday and I've barely packed. I need to make a trip to the supermarket to pick up some stuffs and not end up with last minute frenzy on Saturday since I need to squeeze in one last wakeboarding session for this year just before I jet off.

My three weeks in New York would be a good time to take a real break after a long long year and definitely a retreat for me. I haven't got a chance to stop and take a breather this whole year except for the short Bangkok weekend during National Day. It's probably a good time to nurse the soul and to be prepared for better things to happen in the new year of 2008. Speaking of 2008, previously it seem so far away whenever we talk about Beijing Olympics but merely a wink away, it's coming in 3 weeks time! List your resolutions and see them work its way in the coming year! Time to do mine...

Do Not Open Your Gifts Until Christmas

The weather's so beautiful today with cool comfortable breeze and warm morning sun. The missing pieces seem to fall into place and even as we enter the monsoon, I could see hear the birds chirping before they start on their migration journey.

The Other Urban Legend once told me we choose to see things we want to see. He even did a little test on me to prove his point. Either his theory is flawed or I didn't think that was important enough for me to take a second look. I came back to the office to pick up my phone charger yesterday. I usually live my weekends with fear that my battery might run out but since Germ has a charger which I could borrow, I'll still leave my charger in the office. It broke and I was on a "high call" weekend with Urban Legend Wifey. So as I was saying, I was waiting for an important email and it reads, "Mods Fund" or rather, that was the way I saw it. It was in my inbox and I did not see it AT ALL until this morning. I was either blind on Sunday or I had better things to do than to work. The latter would suffice as the explanation for now since I'm obviously not blind!

This morning had been filled with funny CVs. Unfortunately, Comedy Boss is away in Bangkok being asked to stay far away from his wife when she's shopping because as a "farang" aka Gweilo, he's bound to spoil the bargaining. Otherwise, we would be having a ball in here. Just for fun, one of the many interests the person wrote on her CV says that she would like to learn more about different champagnes and then to remember their names afterwards. WHAT? These sort of CVs are very risky and can go either way. If the candidate is lucky, the potential employer would appreciate her interest in champagne and might even bring her out to teach her a thing or two about champagnes. The others might just think she's a nut. On our part, we decide if the client is such a person but it would be very much taking a high risk punt. I remember mine said "Cars, Gadgets and Travel" and luckily enough, Comedy Boss loves cars as much as I do and here I am, in a job I absolutely love. Working with Comedy Boss is a pleasure that I can only wish and needless to say, it keeps me sane from the day to day insanity happening around me.

My buddies never fail to relate me to malfunctioning senses. My antennas are never in good working order or condition. Which also explains why I never assume things. What I am about to say might seem that it should not fall into the same paragraph but to me, it belongs to the same paragraph! Finding someone who can have a proper conversation may not seem like the most difficult thing in the world but to have someone who can have an intelligent conversation with you is not the easiest job on earth. When you know such a person exist, you will go on to explore if this is a merely superficial intellectual conversation you have with an acquaintance or the cute banker you've met at the bar last night and not think of getting lucky in any possible way. You know you have come across a barrel of good lager when you want to taste a little everyday yet you want this barrel of lager to last a lifetime. This lager is not merely smooth on the tongue but also tells you how the lager is different from the ale and other lagers. It teaches you how the yeast, temperature affect the fermentation process and hence, the quality of the lager. It's not just beer. It's amazing how delightful it is to not just meet your match but also someone who can hold your hand and guide you through the dark. This person seems to know all the nooks and crannies and you trust that you wouldn't fall into a huge crevice just because your surroundings are absent of any source of light. Of a sudden, the darkness disappears because there's a glimmer of light that we choose to see.

We've all heard that familiar expression, "Good things come to those who wait". Whether you're waiting for your Heinz ketchup to pour out onto your burger, waiting for Christmas day to open your gifts, good things will come if you simply allow them to come in their own time.

One day you might find your light and you will have ketchup with your quarter pounder.

Politically Incorrect

Politics are there no matter how small a group is, even if it's just within cyber space. I hate politics but we don't have a choice because we live in such a world. I try hard to avoid and at least choose not to be involved or not to know but somehow, it'll find its way to you and it gets to you. Why can't things stay simple? Humans!

A world with lesser conspiracies would definitely be a better place and if we start to treat other people more genuinely, we would be at the receiving end of a true friend at some point in time. What comes around goes around.

How would I like it if everyone tells me the truth? Hmmm... Actually, can be very painful. What a tough compromise and balance...

I Know That You Know That I Know

People who knows me will know that I'm spaced out alot of the time and I have a memory equivalent to a goldfish. I may seem to know some things but I don't. At the very same time, I do know other things I don't either seem to know or seem to care. I choose to believe I understand and know what is going on although I'm often mistaken. I think I know what I should know... I think... I hope... All we can do is hope to know we know right? I don't know if I know. I'm lost. Or am I?

Mental Dissection

Was chatting with "The Other Urban Legend" earlier, there were some points he mentioned that I thought he had me spot on then as I was replying bit by bit, I started to realise that my life is alot better than I initially thought. Here are excerpts of the email I sent across...

"I’m not as much a thrill seeker as you think I am. I guess I feel comfortable with people around me but quite polarised at times because I really love time alone. And I guess you are right it’s to fill the space/void in me. WB takes that few hours off during the weekend so it doesn’t seem so long and that I actually DID something over the weekend and not be rotting at home. I may not love my independence as much but do appreciate that I have them. At times, I’d rather not have this independence. It gets very tiring. But this is a catch 22 situation I guess.

In my job, it’s very easy to get lost and lose yourself. My ex-boss “Babooshka Mom” has been telling me that some people can make astronomical amount of money in recruitment but whether they are happy or not, it’s a totally different story. But the way I’m doing things, I can survive, might not be darn rich but at least, I can be happy. That was how she mentored me.

Dreams are wide and the matter of accomplishing it all boils down to perception yet again. Of course I’d be happy to drive a Murcielago but do I need that to make me happy and do I want that. We all have dreams which will remain as dreams. More often than not, that it remains a dream. Good that if it ever comes true but even if it doesn’t, there’s no real loss. Happiness may have been found somewhere else. That’s all that matters. You don't lose what you never had.

Stability in the heart and mind may not seem sorted but I know it is sorted. My life has come to a point that nothing much is changing and I actually like that. It gives me the right frame of mind to look at issues or things that might change my life with a very clear decision making standpoint."

Not realising that I actually have the capacity to break myself up into little pieces and decipher myself. After the conversation, I felt lighter because I could see more of myself, well classified. The arrow suddenly emerged from the fog and I could imagine it actually lighting up the way.

Went for dinner with Urban Legend Wifey (totally different from The Other Urban Legend) and we were discussing about relocation. There are just some things that you will need the right time, with the right people around you, the right support to make such a decision. Otherwise, rerooting for a few years and to return starting all over again can be quite a torturous exercise. As of now, only if a life long partner were to relocate to a location I can see myself starting a life and to return in a few years, I will not leave this place a lone ranger. Even having said that, if a reasonable offer comes along, the priority might have be rearranged... Unless...

This Kiss - It's Criminal

I can still remember when I first saw Shrek, I thought he was kinda cute. I thought he was cute and definitely THE eligible bachelor. Even then, he's not my kind of guy and would never in my lifetime thought I'd ever go out with someone like him. At this point when you're reading this, you must be thinking that I'm going out with him. Haha, still no. Nothing has changed. What made me blog about this was due to a dream last night I don't know if that qualifies as a nightmare but I did cringe when I woke up this morning. Honestly, at his age, Shrek is considered rather cute.

The only part of the dream I could remember vividly was Shrek trying to put his face closer and closer to mine, so incredibly near that I could actually feel his breathing. Please be reminded that this was a dream! And he kissed me. Ewwww... I woke up, on the brink of tears and I shivered. I could feel every muscle in my body cringe to the point of spasm. Heaven forbid, I have never thought a kiss from him, EVER. I'm blaming it on the stress that I'm undergoing and the indirect stress that he's putting onto all of us. This is a "punishment" I shall never forget.

This was a really weird dream for me because I seldom see faces in my dream and when I do, the name and the person I thought this person was suppose to be, will never match up. For once, I knew that was Shrek and appearing right in front of me was this supposedly handsome face with the distinctive, signature long lashes. Really, this has scared the hell out of me. I shall pop a pill and go to bed and hopefully, I will not dream of anything tonight.

Well then again, maybe a sky full of colourful numeric balloons will be nice...

I hope I can see my Grandma in my dream tonight. I miss her terribly and I want to tell her how much my life is missing out without her by my side and there are just some people I wish she had the chance to see. I hope she's no longer in pain. I still can't believe she's gone for more than a year. I can still feel her warmth and the way her wrinkled skin feels between my palms... Will I see you tonight?

Why The Opposition Can Never Make It

This is ridiculous! Both Chee and the police. Chee is a total waste of time. He has not achieved anything to convince me that he's fighting for my freedom and democracy of this nation. In fact, I think he's just a clown, a joke and not a person I'd want to represent me on the world stage. He's a total nutter. I swear he's out of his fucked up mind. His sister is no where better. Her saga with that Elisa Soo is just plain corny and entirely wasting the tax payers' money. Why do we need to escort them cuz frankly, these people do not deserve the kind of attention that the police is giving them. Really, no one would give a second look. Ironically, the police's presence just successfully created the attention that they were craving for. Potentially giving them everything them need, media coverage/propaganda - the most dangerous weapon during wartimes. The police - With the amount of tax, I believe we can afford to hire or train smarter people. How disappointing. With that, how would you want me to defend the government/police? You just dumped my hard earn money onto that bunch of dodos standing around and not able to answer some clever questions with even cleverer answers? The reason why we don't have strong opposition because we have people like Chee, he spoils their image altogether. If only we have oppositions who carry more brains underneath their thick skin and numbskull... My thoughts might be different.

Partyworld with Sgrgals

SGRgals Partyworld November 07

He's Just Not That Into You - The Film

I've said this a million times, I'm not into self-help books. I have never read a single Antony Robbins nor Who Moved My Cheese? I read this book very much for the fun in the way they wrote it.

Taken from a male-oriented site - AskMen.com

What it says about men: In the words of author Greg Behrendt, "If a (sane) guy really likes you, there ain't nothing that's going to get in his way." This bestselling book is refreshingly upbeat, managing to focus less on man-bashing and more on women's inability to recognize a disinterested partner.

How to handle its readers: Like most self help books, readers of He's Just Not That Into You come away highly empowered. They know if you don't treat them properly, another, better-suited man gladly will. Women like these are likely to have little patience for your immaturity, so making a good first impression is key. Authors Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo challenge their readers to avoid men who:
1. Keep them waiting by the phone
2. Are not sure they want a relationship
3. Make them feel sexually undesirable
4. Drink or do drugs to an extent it makes them uncomfortable
5. Fear talking about the future
6. Are married

Readers know you're not their only option any more, so give them the attention they deserve and let them know you value your relationship. If you don't want to pursue your relationship, be honest about that, too. Readers of this book will be committed to living a life free of excuses, and they expect the same from you.

For most of the people around me, only point 1, 2 and 6 applies and occasionally point 5 to a lesser extent.

The movie based on the book will be out very soon, starring Drew Barrymore, Scarlett Johansson, Jennifer Aniston, Justin Long, Ben Affleck, Jennifer Connelly, Ginnifer Goodwin, Kevin Connolly, and Bradley Cooper; I can't wait to watch another Jennifer Aniston's show and with Ben Affleck, just ooohhh...

I have to say this everytime. This entry has no bearing whatsoever. Not referring to anyone, anything in particular. (Have to disclaim because I've already got a text asking me who I'm referring to!!) I just love the book and I just saw in Marie Claire when I was having my haircut yesterday that the movie would be out soon.

Gu Niang

Wakeboarding last week was disastrous. I didn't know riding with the pros would put so much pressure on me. The entire wakeboarding procedure is so different from our usual drill. We don't usually need to load up the boat because we're all rookies but recently, I've noticed the loading with 10litre containers. But when pros ride, the whole loading process becomes professional as well. We had to fill up 2x200kg weightage systems with the sea water when we settle around the spot we were going to ride. This process will enable the boat to create bigger wakes which in turn, encourage bigger jumps. Big wakes can be good but at the same time, when you're a real rookie, it can be intimidating. For me, I loved the wake. But somehow, my ride just did not show it.

For the first time in history, my extremely gorgeous instructor "Power Ranger Daddy" called me a "gu niang" which literally means lady and what he really meant was that he felt that my limbs were too soft, I wasn't performing and I've lost the "chilli padi" in me. Most know me by "Pedal to Metal Chilli Padi" but none of the characteristics made it's appearance on Saturday. Must say I was utterly disappointed with myself. On the bright side, there's always next week.

Woke up on Sunday for the BMWsg morning drive + picnic. Found that I was running a temperature and the body ache was killing me so I popped to Panaco & mass-texted everyone then headed back to bed. The rest did me good and by noon, I was making my way for my haircut. I love my new haircut but apparently, no one could tell I cropped them off except for the real Jewell. It's about time I do something drastic... Oh, I forgot about the bosses...

如果你也听说

Now I wish i can cancel my bloody New York trip. I don't like and don't want to impose if I had a choice and I didn't know I'd be imposing. If I knew, I wouldn't have thought of planning to go for it. It's not fun to travel for more than 20 hours and not be welcomed. I should have just gone to Esperance.

We went to volunteer for the Children's Concert for autistic children and was surprised to see my lecturer from law school. He taught me for a few classes but despite what the rest of my classmates thought, I think he was a great lecturer then and I learnt a hell lot during his classes although I screwed up my Trust paper so badly. Or was it Tort? As for those of us who helped out, it was fun especially the conversations we overheard on our walkie talkies. Jewell was just "whipping" Jeffers De Jay between the bleeps.

Been hearing 张惠妹's 如果你也听说 in Crowsfeet's car recently over and over again and when he was sending me home earlier, I really paid attention to what the lyrics was saying and these are things that sends me going to bed in tears. I'm not up to one of my "down periods" again but I'm easily moved by lyrics that strike the right chords. I must say I really like it so enjoy this...



我发现站了好久 不知道要往哪走
还不想回家的我 再多人陪只会更寂寞
许多话题关于我 就连我也有听过
我的快乐要被认可 委屈却没有人诉说
夜半信仰丛白剥落 拿掉防卫剩下什么
为什么脆弱时候 想你更多

如果你也听说 有没有想过我
想普通交朋友 还是你依然会心疼我
好多好多的话想对你说 悬着一颗心没着落
要怎么附和 舍不得 又无可奈何

如果你也听说 会不会相信我
对流言会附和 还是你知道我还是我
跌跌撞撞才明白了许多 冷漠的人就你一个
想到你想起我 胸口依然温柔

许多话题关于我 就连我也有听过
我想我宁可都沉默 其实反而显得做作
夜半信仰丛白剥落 拿掉防卫剩下什么
为什么脆弱时候 想你更多

如果你也听说 有没有想过我
想普通交朋友 还是你依然会心疼我
好多好多的话想对你说 悬着一颗心没着落
要怎么附和 舍不得 要无可奈何

如果你也听说 会不会相信我
对流言会附和 还是你知道我还是我
跌跌撞撞才明白了许多 冷漠的人就你一个
想到你想起我 胸口依然温柔

如果你也听说 有没有想过我
想普通交朋友 还是你依然会心疼我
跌跌撞撞才明白了许多 冷漠的人就你一个
想到你想起我 胸口依然温柔
如果你想起我 你会想到什么

After I met my lecturer, it suddenly struck me... Some people are just a phone call away. This one phonecall can make a difference to your life and probably someone else's. 如果你想起我 你会想到什么

Time for my withdrawal therapy...