POLICE WARNING

Got this in the mail and thought you guys might enjoy a laugh on a Friday...

NEW SOUTH WALES POLICE FORCE – MEDIA RELEASE

POLICE WARNING

Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties and local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman. Many females use a date rape drug on the market called “Beer” to target unsuspecting men. The drug is generally found in liquid form and is now available almost anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, from taps, and in large “kegs”. Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and have sex with them.

Typically, a woman needs only to persuade her target to consume a few units of Beer and then simply ask him home for "no strings attached" sex. Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several beers, men will often succumb to desires to perform sexual acts on horrific looking women to whom they would never normally be attracted. After drinking Beer men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened feeling that “something bad” occurred. At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life’s savings in a familiar scam known as “A Relationship”.

It has been reported that in extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer-term form of servitude and punishment referred to as “Marriage”. Apparently, men are much more susceptible to this scam after beer is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females.

Please forward this warning to every male you know. If you fall victim to this insidious Beer and the predatory women administering it, there are male support groups with venues in every town where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter in an open and frank manner with similarly affected, like-minded guys. For the support group nearest you just look up “Golf Courses”’ in the yellow pages.

I'm so not helping the girlies here but hey, I never made you guys drink beer right?

Pain In The Arse

Organising events are seriously a pain in the bloody arse. Been trying to get a couple of people for a wakeboarding session on the forum. Things started fine as a couple of them have already confirmed that they are coming and they are not people who would fuss about the details. Which explained why I went ahead to get things started.

Then people have their last minute commitments and are unable to turn up. That I can't blame them because I have my fair share of last minute pullouts. So I went on a hunting spree for more wakeboarders. Finally got the number of people and in fact, the response was overwhelming. One of the girls decided to go purely because she gave me face (or so I believe). I'm currently helping her with her forum set up and she's one of those who are grateful and shows it with her actions. Way cool... People like Como and OLL are purely "damn onz".

Shit never comes singularly. Just found out from the boatman cuz instructor that he's just sold his boat and all. With the bigger boat the price is different. So everyone would just be paying a little more. With the group that I'm going with, I have no worries that they wuld pay the difference. But there are just some people in the forum who would nitpick on the details like the price, the number of minutes that you're out there, the size of the wake, the safety precautions, the arrangements... Fuck lah, how did I get myself into this shit.

Don't think I'd wanna organise something like that again unless I can confirm who's going and they are not the "ghay ghao" sort or I'll end up shooting everyone.

RAWR!!!

i know I haven't been in the best shape to blog on anything interesting. Work's been getting the better of me. There are just so many things that me grabbing my hair and attempting to remove them. Not a very smart act, I know. There was an undercurrent war today but as it turns out, my back was afterall being looked after in a way and I managed to inch forward. This gave me the energy to run this race more diligently. I shall be a warrior and fight on!

Is this like a massive birthday week or something? I'm attending a surprise party tonight and I'm guessing Holey Moley won't be reading my blog from now till then. Boo! Today is also Ajoop's birthday. Hey girl, Happy Birthday! It's been so long. We should do dinner soon!

Tomorrow would be Jem's and BFG aka my baby brother Big Fat Germ's 23rd birthday. I can't believe one of my best friends and my brother were born on the same day, same hospital. Kinda freaky but hell with it, 2 birthday gifts in one day? Bad news for the pocket... Well, still love both of them dearly nonetheless.

Today's not exactly a good day. Will fill you guys in. Just wanna RAWWWRRRR!!!!

Close the Door!!!

I know I went missing altogether yesterday. Shrek was in town and I was too stressed up. Trying to close the big one before the quarter ends but the way things are going, I have this feeling that it's going to be a done deal after the door is tight shut. The meeting is tomorrow and the shop closes on Friday... I can so see my car waving me goodbye...

It's the time of the year, the moon is full and our tummies filled with calories-laden mooncakes. Since young, Grandma told me different variations of the Chang'e stories regarding the Mid-Autumn Festival but I was just cynical and didn't gave second thoughts. Not that I started to believe in them, I just miss Grandma being there telling these sort of stories whenever I asked a stupid question. Even while I'm typing this, I'm trying very hard to hold back my tears and wonder why I'm not having the "Mid-Autumn Cookies" Grandma buys for us every year. Maybe she really left us... I still can't get over the fact that she's more than a couple of hours drive away. She's really gone...

For the past months, I've been swayed by everything everyone else's said. It's R53 Mini Cooper S or the E46 BMW 318i/320i. More recently, I've also considered the E90, finally recognising Chris Bangle's works. Even then, I'd take the E46 in a heartbeat.
The Mini is fun and the handling is superb but the Bimmer is just different. It's pure love and passion for the German horse. Or many many horses... It's the refinement, the ultimate level of straight 4s. Maybe...

It feels so good to have clients call you up and insist on having you handle their stuffs because they prefer dealing with you. I'm flattered... Haha!!!

For the first time, I'm really hoping time passes slower so that my big big deal can close before the quarter does... Fingers all crossed!

Lose My Ass

Never thought a simple lunch could be so enjoyable. One of those days you wish you're on leave and don't have to go back to the office. I'm a very happy girl for today.

Calling out for female drivers out there. There's a new forum catered for all of you. Go to Singapore Girl Racer and sign up now! If you need a referral, just enter fiercepink. You don't need to be a racer nor a girl, just the love for driving. Essentially, it's a place for girlies but guys are invited for meetups as well. We're having a photography session this Sunday, 3pm at Kallang McDonald's followed by the BMW-SG meetup. Do join us!

Losing weight has never been a priority for me because I've never quite undergone massive weight losing regime but everyone around me has been telling me how much I've packed on over the last few months so I'm trying to eat healthier and work out more. And I just had Nasi Padang today, good gracious.

This coming Saturday, I've got a wakeboarding session booked from 4-7pm. The boatman is a very good coach and funny chap so let me know if you're keen on joining us. I need a couple more people so call me. Beginners are very welcomed!

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas...

Chao Tar

Was woken up by the insurance agent who wasn't bright enough to answer my questions but since I'm taking over the payments from my parents', I've just got to drill her a little before I would fork out the money.

Good thing though, woke up in time to take my lunch on my own sweet time before heading out to the Wakeboard Worldcup. It was scorching and I was totally baked before I even met any familiar face. Took a walk and bought a white tshirt so that I could change out of my super heat trapping black tshirt. The moment I walked out of the potable WC, I ran into Monkey. He was there to snap some shots with his BlueMangoes. Hung with him for a while till I surrendered to the shades. I was nauseas and my head was spinning and I bet I was near getting a heat stroke. Top those fluids I was thinking but was just too dazed to do it. Met a couple of fellow wakeboarders and were chatting. The riders were fabulous. World class moves. Very impressive. Very motivating. The climax was when Daniel Watkins (I think but not too sure) did the double back roll. The sedated crowd was immediately awoken and was cheering him on. The double up was pretty good but the ten eighty were rather disappointing. By then, the sun was down and most of the spectators left.

Now, I have an uneven tan with the v-neck and the sleeves imprinted on my body and my feet even has the slip on marks. I look ridiculously hilarious and it hurts big time. I'm so going wakeboarding next week to tan the uneven lines off. Darn...

I Now Pronounce You, Chubby & Lazy

If you're wondering why I didn't quite blog on Saturday, that's cuz I slept the bloody day off. Was planning to check out the Wakeboard World Cup but apparently, slept through the entire event. Woke up feeling extremely aimless so was fooling with Facebook petting everyone's pets and fighting all the zombies. Let me try to wake up a little earlier and drag myself to Bedok reservoir tomorrow.

Saw "Ex-Sir" on MSN so decided to drag him out. We planned to go out to One Night Stand for a drink but eventually settled for a movie at Cineleisure. We thought it would be impossible to get tickets on a Saturday night but decided to give it a try anyway. Miraculously, when we were checking out the times, with the words "SOLD OUT" in big bold redscreaming in our face, as we turned around after seeing what we expected but nonetheless, still disappointed, this middle age guy came up and asked "you want to watch I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry?, second last row?", we nodded in sync. So we bought the tickets from him. Awesome!

The movie was entertaining and as per every other Adam Sandler movies, it did not disappoint. Love the whole pro-gay plot. Not the most realistic movie but the friendship between the two guys, very desirable. Very light-hearted movie, great for a lethargic Saturday evening.

Ahhh, The Haunting is on Discovery now... Quickly get myself a quick shower with my eyes closed so get I can get my arse back here and glue myself in front of the telly... Hope you enjoyed your Saturday!

Babies Everywhere

Welcome to this world, Baby Laura Widya!

Found time to visit Baby Laura last night. She's so adorable. Initially, when I first looked at the baby, I just thought, "Hey, don't they all look the same?". Alright, I sound just like a dude. But on a closer look, while trying to recall the last bit of feminism in me, I thought he looks just like her father. Looking at how Small Toe's hubby adores the baby, I know Small Toe would be a happy young Mom. Comes to me as no surprise that this baby was indeed an accident but trust me, once you've seen the "look on the parents' face, you know it's a beautiful accident. Besides, both parent are capable of bringing up Baby Laura just fine. Looking at how happy Small Toe was, you have no idea how envious and glad that she's got a direction in life. Now that she's a full-fledged Mom, I guess the Balaclava times are over for now.

Later on that night, I went to our usual Simpang meetups with the Fat Club. It felt so good to meet them once again during this traumatic and stressful time for me. But Holey Moley", could you pick a better day and not Thursday just because your sweetheart is playing mahjong? Had to literally drag myself out of the bed this morning. Anyway, to my absolute horror, "Stories Meister" brought his heavily pregnant wife along and was smoking beside her. And the best part, the wife just said, "oh the baby's probably used to it because Daddy's a smoker?" WTF! Oh well, I know I'm keeping my baby 10 miles away from smoke and from them and before that time comes, I'll just tahan having my prata in the chimney. And for the next meetups, we're planning to ban PSPs. Everyone was glued to their PSP and I barely spoke to some of them. A pity how technology totally rips us away from genuine, face to face communications. Even then, I'm just glad I got to see them. "Tai-Tai in making" is having a new wine bar in Dempsey and when the time comes, will announce "the next place to be" in town.

This weekend is going to be so boring. No wakeboarding sessions because everyone would be at the Wakeboard Worldcup. Well, I will probably check it out but frankly, don't think I'll spend two whole days there. I need to ride some wakes... Argh... Painful! Think I'm staying home and poking people on Facebook.

Small Toe Popped

Double shock! I just found out that when I was calling my friend "Small Toe - Not because she's got a small toe but cuz we used to have a lecturer, we called him big thumb. Yes it's Tham & Toh and it was a joke I can't recall", she was in the delivering room ready to pop. Just got a text message a while ago announcing the birth of the baby. Good gracious. Now my hands are freezing cold from the shock. It's amazing how I can still find the energy to send these gorgeous flowers across.



And I conveyed my shock in the note that went with the flowers.
"Congratulations Babe! I'm still in shock having only to find out by accident last night that you were pregnant and the next thing I know, you actually popped. Very happy for your new bundle of joy and enjoy the motherhood... Oh and the sleepless nights to come!

With Abundance of Hugs & Kisses, "

I am so going to cuddle the baby tonight... Sigh, feeling like I'm lagging behind in life. I'm so happy for her. Could hear the joy in her now motherly voice...

On an entire separate note, just had a very infuriating exchange with someone from the Board of Legal Education.

First, I sent an email to check if one of my candidates could be admitted.

Then he replied with a shitload of bollocks.
I refer to your email dated 20 September 2007.

2. In order to be admitted as an advocate and solicitor of the Supreme Court of Singapore, one must be a "qualified person" within the meaning of Section 2 of the Legal Profession Act [Cap. 161, 2001 Revised Edition], read with the Legal Profession (Qualified Persons) Rules 2001 (R15 2002 Revised Edition) (Rules), the Legal Profession (Qualified Persons) (Amendment) Rules 2003, 2004, 2005 and 2006. Upon being a "qualified person" you are eligible to be admitted to the Singapore Bar provided you attend and pass the Postgraduate Practical Law Course; keep the dining terms and serve a statutory period of pupillage. Please refer to Item C of our webpage at www.lawsociety.org.sg/ble.

3. Subject to Rule 10 (Item I of our webpage) and as the Rules stand, one shall be a "qualified person" if one pursues the Bachelor of Laws degree from the National University of Singapore with at least a 2nd Class Lower Honours or if the university and the degree conferred by him/her are, respectively, one of the university and one of the degrees from United Kingdom specified in the First Schedule (Item N of our webpage) and in the case of him/her who has been or is conferred that degree on or after 1st January 1997, he/she has-

(a) attained at least upper second class honours (3 years full-time internal candidate); and

(b) obtained the Diploma in Singapore Law conducted by the National University of Singapore.

4. Pursuant to the Legal Profession (Qualified Persons) (Amendment) Rules 2004 which came into effect on 30 March 2004, only Citizens and Permanent Residents of Singapore who obtained an LLB (Honours) degree from United Kingdom will be recognised for admission to the Singapore Bar. You may wish to refer to Item L2 of our webpage.

5. For further information on admission to the Singapore Bar, you are advised to visit our webpage.


So I replied,
I know the legalities and the reason for sending her brief background was because she falls in the grey area of S15 (2) of the Legal Profession Act. So to avoid confusion and misrepresentation to my clients, I need to have a definite answer from the board if the person stated in my previous email can be admitted to the Singapore Bar based on her background.

Look forward to hearing from you.

Then he called to scream at me. He went like, "So what you wanna know." After trying to be nice, afterall I need a favour right, he just went like, "No!" and hung up. WTF!!! At the very least, have some courtesy to say bye then hang up nicely. What kind of people do they hire over there? Stupid or ding dong?

FUMING!

OK back to the baby, (breathe...), she's 3 kg (about 6 lbs) and with a beautiful Mom like Small Toe, she's got to be gorgeous. All the best and hope she grows up slowly, wait for my kids to come along to play with her. Yeah, very long wait...

Poppers

Speechless. In shock.

Found out from Friendster , of all avenues, that one of my best friends in JC is preggers and popping soon. For the past 30 mins, i've been trying to get her on the phone but without much success. Called a couple other friends and no one knew and everyone was equally stunned. So much for "let's catch up soon" and before you know it, she's a mother-to-be. She's about a year younger than myself and she's pregnant now? Am I getting old or is the world moving without me knowing while I try to meet my daily numbers in the office. What am I missing out?

I can't say I'm happy from her but maybe I'm expecting to hear the joy in her voice when she finally returns my call. I'm still shell-shocked. She's pregnant? Am I repeating? Oh my... What?!

Alright, a little settled, she's pregnant! The thoughts of us going drinking ourselves mad and to think the last time she called me, I rushed down to her aid only to find that she was totally pissed drunk. I've missed out on so much... Time to get out of the shell, hermit!

Unbelieveable. When I can finally string my sentence together again, I'm out of here...

Curry Puff Girl

When I got my tennis racquet years back, I thought, "Good. I'd pick up tennis and be the next Maria Sharapova" but unfortunately, I haven't been able to even scream like her. When the forum guys were arranging to play tennis, I took out my "brand new" racquet and looked at it with adoration. Painted in nice electric blue and cold white tone, it's a beauty. Then I found my hands covered in black dirty rubber crumbling off the handle. Goodness, it's been too long since I've given it any love.

All packed up and picked up by "Lennon". After we got "Winnercafe" and her friend in the backseat, it suddenly hit me that I left my shoes in the office. I only had my slip ons which explains why I'm suffering from a bunch of blisters now. All in all, it was great fun. The guys said I've got ball sense. Yippee. Always a good thing.

"Como" bought me some curry puffs but no one else ate it. There were 10 of them and I had to finish them all. I had 8 of them and 2 went to my brother "The Germ". You wouldn't believe how bloated I was and probably will be avoiding curry puff for the rest of the month. But "Como" was really sweet though. Thanks buddy!

Feeling like: Walking on a dark and cold one way street...

夜黑夜寂寞的夜里
气生气对自己生气
软弱的电话又打给你
想听你那边的空气
有什麽精采的话题
你还是温柔给我婉转的距离
我的声音在笑泪在飙电话那头的你可知道
世界若是那麽大为何我要忘你无处逃
我的声音在笑泪在飙电话那头的你可知道
世界若是那麽小为何我的真心你听不到
会很会伪装我自己
你不该背我的秘密
沉重都给我微笑给你
奔狂奔空旷的感情
走暴走暴走的伤心
透明的叹息最后还是我的秘密
我的声音在笑泪在飙电话那头的你可知道
世界若是那麽大为何我要忘你无处逃
我的声音在笑泪在飙电话那头的你可知道
世界若是那麽小为何我的真心你听不到
听不到听不到我的执着扑通扑通一直在跳
直到你有一天能够明了我做得到我做得到
我的声音在笑泪在飙电话那头的你可知道
世界若是那麽大为何我要忘你无处逃
我的声音在笑泪在飙电话那头的你可知道
世界若是那麽小为何我的真心你听不到

Are All Mothers the Same?

While watching the Emmy winners thank their casts and parents, I sit back to wonder if all parents love their children all the same. Minus all the cases of parents abandoning their children, we were all brought up to think our parents love us all the same. Never was I jealous of my brother just because he gets more pocket money than I did or that he gets 100% of my Mom's attention. All kids, if you're brought up in an all Chinese or partially Chinese community, you would have learnt or heard the song "Tian Xia De Ma Ma Dou Shi Yi Yang De". If I truly believed in this song, I'd have thought all moms can't be fucking bothered with their kids. Relatives and friends of my family could all tell that I probably was never my mom's favourite. Even then, it never bugged me because I've always believed that I've got a great Dad. He gave up career opportunities because he wanted to watch us grow up and be there for us when we needed him. I have to say, he rarely failed us.

Recently, I felt that everything has fallen on me and my shoulders were suddenly too heavy for my body. I felt small, puny and useless. Seeing my Meiren Biaojie go through all the mental torture from the stress her parents are giving her, mine felt insignificant. Somehow, all our parents seemed happy to watch us being tortured in this excruciating pain. I can sense people flaming me in their minds right now and probably more than eager to click on the "Leave Comments" link. Before you do that, you have to put yourself in the shoes of the bunch of my cousins. Our parents are out of this world. It almost seems like they're from a totally different realm. At times, I really hope I can be strong enough to be there for everyone but more often than not, I just need a shoulder to cry on or simply hide under my good ol' comforter and cry myself to sleep. The bunch of cousins will not fail to appear strong but because we're so close, we can almost feel each other's pain. Even those whom we rarely meet up, from all the times spent together growing up in each other's shadows, we know from the gossips circulating amongst the older generation that our dearest cousins are probably victims of these gossipas well, malicious or not. They have got to be suffering and fighting the tears back.

For the longest time ever, I've been convincing myself that I have a set of okay parents and I should not complain. I was contented. When life gets tougher and everyone is starting to feel strains, family should get closer and probably more understanding. That was totally opposite from what I'm undergoing. The baggage just gets heavier by the day. I have to admit my tolerance isn't quite at its most elastic point. But even with my limited ability to clench my fist and breathe it all out, I have to be one of the more forbearing person around. Nothing quite hits me down the first couple of tries. I just have to try to be a little stronger and I will, one day, emerge a better person. Or so I hope...

Meiren Biaojie knows some relative was trying to malign me but I'm thankful that she trusted me totally and knows very well that I will never say certain things. I may be a chatterbox but I know very well what I should not let out of my mouth. To be honest, it hurts to know people you love turn their back on you and speak really badly about you. I just want Felly and Alee to know that I may not be the conventional Aunt you girls might know but do understand that the 3 of you means alot to me and I wouldn't trade you girls in for anything in this world. We have already gone through the roughest and toughest of times and we will breeze past this. Thanks for having faith in me and you know very well, I will never betray this trust. It's very important to me that we keep this ship sailing tight...

I can only hope you girls stay strong for one another no matter how tough life can get and I promise I'll be here for you whenever you need me. I love you girls.

Simple Weekend

Due to the chemical peel, I had to avoid the sun for a week or so. Hence, no wakeboarding for me this weekend. Pure torture! But the past weekend was alot more enjoyable than I thought. Managed to catch up with some friends and even managed to squeeze in a movie. Gotta be too much energy still pumping through my body, I couldn't sleep on Saturday night and was trying to draw a clover on facebook with "Como" (one of the forumer) who couldn't sleep too. It was a challenge I couldn't resist. Think: It was 4 am and we were a little crazy. Alright, we were utterly insane.

Sunday was even better. It started really lazy with my prolonged refusal to get out of bed. Finally, got my butt over to Meiren Biaojie's place and spent a lazy day just doing absolutely nothing with the girlies. Oh by the way, when we were flipping through one of the chick mags, we saw an article on an "environmentally conscious" girl who wore reusable sanitary pads and menstrual cup. I'm sorry but this totally grossed me out. From the bottom of my heart, I'd desire the world to be a little more environmentally friendly and I try all means to do whatever I can within my means to do my part in preserving the world. But hygiene is not something I would compromise. I'll stick to using tampons...

Dinner was simple but good. We had pizza but Alee's impersonation of her artsy fartsy super interesting friends really entertained us. The girls never fail to cheer me up and to cook the dumplings together was something we hadn't done for ages. We should be doing this more often... Thanks girls.

This post may be boring to most of you but it's the contentment I can't seem to use any words to replace. Very simple times. Times you wish you can have just a little more of everyday.

Hang In There

Life is like a book, one we decide what to write on it and not taken off the shelf of Kinokuniya. As much as we'd love our book to end like a fairy tale, more often than not, that doesn't happen. Among the few cousins, we can only hope life gets slightly better in the next chapter and not hoping for the best in the world. Guess life is either kidding us or wants us to learn it the hard way. I remembered some time ago after a mahjong session at "Diamond Biaojie's" place, we were singing along to 张惠妹's 我要快乐. I'm almost sure we were both crying inside and hoping things will get better. That next chapter seemed like an improvement to me but now that it's my turn to continue with my own story, I'm lost. I'm in search of my 快乐 once again.

There're just so much going on and it's driving me insane. Deep down, I know this is a bad move and possibly a tragic chapter but in order to keep writing with a sound mind, I've got to do what I've got to do. Even after saying that, doubts on my own decisions just comes back to haunt me almost immediately. Maybe this is an illegal move on the chessboard and being the stubborn person that I've always been, I've vehemently ignored all signs and went against all advices to satisfy my own weird thoughts. It does not feel good to have tears cleaning off the makeup on my face but if that's how I want my book to be written, sacrifices have to be made along the way I presume. Can someone please tell me that this is not a bad decision, just that it may not be the best one?

又被爱伤了一遍
无所谓当作成长
刚刚走开的人
烟还点着味道却淡了
我并不是天生爱寂寞
却比任何人都多
就算把世界给我
我还是一无所有
我要快乐我要能睡的安稳
有些人不抱了才温暖
离开了才不恨我早应该割舍
我要快乐哪怕笑的再大声
心不是热的全都是假的
只有眼泪是真的
把从前想了一遍
谢谢了伤我的人
想做乐观的人
每种雨声听了都不冷
我并不是天生爱寂寞
却比任何人都多
就算把世界给我
我还是一无所有
我要快乐我要能睡的安稳
有些人不抱了才温暖
离开了才不恨我早应该割舍
我要快乐哪怕笑的再大声
心不是热的全都是假的
我的决定是对的

Still remember more than 7 months ago, I was asked why girls love 张惠妹's songs and apart from the fact it's a great singalong and "heal me please" kinda songs, it says alot. Most girls are victims of fairy tales but reality made us realise that life is way tougher than we would like and we often end up getting hurt. Guys get away without feeling the slightest pain to a strand of their hair. This is not something we can help, we're just born such. Which also explains why we have more books on the differences between men and women than how we should learn to make more money or build our empire.

We're suckers for sweet nothings, hot chocolate and deep down, we only hope to find someone whom we can genuinely trust and reassure us with a big bear hug that tomorrow would be a better day. End of the day, we always get hurt, either by our own naïveté or our refusal to face the harsh reality. Is it too much to ask for when we say we want some sincerity and totally non deceptive response?

人变了心,言而无信.
人断了情,无谓伤心.
我一直聆听,
我闭上眼睛,
不敢看你的表情.
满天流星,无穷无尽,
我的眼泪擦不乾净,
所以绝口不提.
所以暗自反省.
终於,
我挣脱了爱情.
把爱,剪碎了随风吹向大海.
有许多事,
让泪水洗过更明白.
天真如我,
张开双手以为撑得住未来,
而谁担保爱永远不会染上尘埃.
把爱,剪碎了随风吹向大海.
越伤得深,
越明白爱要放得开.
是我不该,
怎么我会眷著你眷成依赖,
让浓情在转眼间变成了伤害.

我剪不碎旧日的动人情怀,
你看不出来我的无奈.

Maybe like in Evan Almighty (which btw was a great movie), we just need pure faith and believe that there are greater powers which works in mysterious ways that we're not aware of that will help up through the difficult periods in life. Faith may not be everything but with faith, we will get there (or so we hope). Easier said than done... Building an ark is not the easiest thing on earth and to decide to go against all odds is just not like flipping a coin. With the right mindset, we could let it all hang out and not merely hanging in there.

Blueprints to Life

Yesterday was fantastic. I truly enjoyed the chocolate and the laughs. The Bimmer people were extremely entertaining as usual. Was too tired to stay throughout the entire session so I left early to catch up on my beauty sleep.

It's Saturday, late afternoon and I'm still home. I'd probably have gone wakeboarding if not for the shedding but guess it's not a bad idea to catch up on my rest and to stay in bed till NOW! Feeling like a true bum. I miss such laziness since school days which was barely slightly more than a year ago. So much has changed. I'm officially addicted to checking my work email and hoping my client would call to inform me of an offer. Just eternally thankful that I don't have a Blackberry now.

How happens when you feel lost in life? I'm feeling like a hermit. I've lost the courage to be brave and face challenges like I thought I would. Thoughts are going everywhere and everything's just totally unsettling. There are some things you just want to fix it and by means of fixing may mean hurting myself or people around me. Can we just be selfish and not be bothered about affecting others when it comes to decision making? As much as I think I'm the most selfish person in the world, maybe as a pet lover did encouraged the fact that I can't bring myself to hurt someone else. I'd rather hide under my pillow and weep, hoping when daylight comes yet again, I'm all ready to face the world with a smile. How should I go about trying to make myself happy again? I don't even know what's making me unhappy to begin with. I'm just a big L.

Life is so short. Most of us would want to get married and have kids at some point in time. Some allow themselves to go into what we deem at "torturous" at a very young age, others like myself come up with all sorts of fucking excuses only to realise in 10 years to come, our "tortured" friends would be laughing in our faces when their kids are running around and I'm probably still learning how to breastfeed one. And in 20 years, they'll be drinking with their kids and I'm worried about mine's PSLE results. Having said that, I love my life now despite the little bumps along the way. Somehow I believe that life has a way of ironing itself out. But the only tough part being me as the sole decision maker.

Am I already contradicting myself in this short post alone?

There are many decisions I have to make and as much calculations we can make, there are no key indicators for happiness. We have to be absolutely comfortable and as much as possible, not to regret any moves on the chessboard. The blueprint may be vague but the decision maker should have in mind, very clearly, how the end result is going to appear. Even in this market where prices are sky high for most properties, there are still some people buying simply hoping that the end result will not disappoint them. Inevitably, there will be some people who will get burnt. My only goal is not get myself burnt becase emotional scars are tougher to heal than debts.

I want to be happy and I really hope I will be. But there are just so many things in my life pulling me down deeper and deeper. Maybe I should get out. The baggage might lighten.

Yo Mama So Fat

I know this is so yesterday but the only person who truly enjoys these is Comedy Boss. So I'm compiling a list which I think is really funny to share with you guys.

Yo mama so fat were in her right now

Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise

Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone

Yo mamma so fat you have to roll over twice to get off her...

Yo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for then new world

Yo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy

Yo mama so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!

Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"

Yo mama so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized

Yo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway

Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller

Yo mama so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!

Yo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"

Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.

Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.

Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.

Yo mama so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!

Yo mama so fat she's got her own area code!

Yo mama so fat God couldn't light Earth until she moved!

Yo mama so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!

Yo mama so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!

Yo mama so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the her good side!

Yo mama so fat she wakes up in sections!

Yo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family!

Yo mama so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!

Yo mama so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!

Yo mama so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!

I'll leave My favourite spaghetti one to myself. Haha... Stay tune for Yo mama so stupid...

Facebook

I never thought it was this fun. Honestly, it wasn't as great a tool for me to keep up with long lost friends. Friendster was way better in that area but for people in the North America, they swear by Facebook. My Aunt in Canada has one but to be fair, she's not too much older. Then again, she's already a Mom. My Uncle on the other hand, is around my age so I wasn't surprised to see him on Facebook when I first signed up after being "coerced" by Uhu Glue's BF. The endless poke war with Uhu Glue's BF never seem to end. We repeated the whole process by clicking "Poke Back" everyday. Don't see extreme fun but I smiled every time I retaliated. A very weird form of therapy I guess.

Many of whom I barely knew either through work or some casual meetups had been nice to send me fishes, flowers and eggs. I go around petting everyone's pets to earn that pathetic 5 munny only to end up feeding their pets. It's very "bo liao" but somehow got me through some rough patches at work. There's even a candidate who saw my updated message on my disappointment, send me a pot of flowers and asked how I was. Very sweet of him...

Even more recently, I've been having a "conversation" with someone I met from the Bimmer group and the topics were boring and repetitive. The stuffs we conversed were nitty gritty bits like, "How's gym?" or "Did you feel the earth shake today?". Even then, I had to say, it's incredibly relieving when you have got too much piled up at work. You may say if I'm piled up I should be putting more time into work and not spend time on Facebook. Truth being, I just spend that one minute replying a message and checking if I've got any new message actually keeps me going through the day without thinking too much about the stress the work is bringing me or whoever's been up my back again. Really therapeutic.

truth be told, I'm not one of those obsessive Facebookers. Seriously! It's been a great avenue to catch up with people whom you don't really meet up. Even my Comedy Boss' wife is on Facebook and I'll just tell here where are the places she could hunt down her Hello Kitty. Little things like that, you'd usually forget about it but with Facebook, whenever you remember something, you could just drop that person a note. Not the most convenient thing like a text message but it'll do the job and you could send that person a plant while checking out how they are. Isn't that nice?

So go get yourself Facebooked and add me!

Ramblings

Been so long since I last saw DGJ. It was fantastic to be able to catch up with her today. We bitch about everything from work to boys and because it's just 2 girlies, boys are just part and parcel of the catchup. But we concluded, or rather she concluded teaching me another lesson in life that I should already know, we're all only after the ultimate happiness in life. No matter what happens, as long as we made our choices and remain happy, everything else will just be worth the while. Now it's her turn to head for Bangkok for her massage and ahh, I miss mine when I was there. Pure indulgence.

Right after that, I had to rush to attend "Media Gibberish's" birthday at Pepperoni Pizzaria. The world is just so small, ran into "Como" from the Bimmer forum over there. They're such a fun bunch, I might just join them this coming Friday for the Meetup/Convoy to Supper. Can't believe how much activities are going on. We'd even be going for a tennis game come Tuesday. This is so much more fun than I expected even before I got myself the set of German horses.

I never thought how stressful work was but somehow, the more I do, the more satisfying it is. But somehow, the fun of the job has vanished without me knowing. Somone once told me, "if you dread going into the office in the morning..." There's just so much truth in this one line. There's just so many redundant reasons I should get out of my mind which are stopping me from going. Unfortunately, I've chosen to stay for the most nonsensical reasons. I'm so sick and tired of everything but isn't that's what life is all about?

I have no more energy to go into an arguement neither do I want to. There're just too many people getting on my nerves. Can someone superglue up their lips or make them disappear for a while so that I can have some peace? Zen! "Felly", go lay out the sand and the solo rock, I need to Ommmmmmmmmmmm...

I need my 12 hour sleep I've been deprived of for a long long time...

Slap On Your Sunblock

Who the hell would pay someone to put acid on your face and suffer the most unbearable excrutiating pain in the world?

I did.

All in the name of beauty. I'm such a vainpot. I just did a chemical peel and IPL. In case you're wondering if I'm speaking French, a chemical peel is a body treatment technique used to improve and smooth the texture of the facial skin using a chemical solution that causes the skin to blister and eventually peel off. The regenerated skin is usually smoother and less wrinkled than the old skin. Thus the term chemical peel is derived. Intense Pulsed Light (IPL), as most commonly employed by non-specialist medical practitioners and beauticians, is a method of hair removal from the body involving the use of a specially constructed xenon flash lamp and focusing optics.

Last month, I did the same thing and the effects were amazing. So I'm doing it again this month but not because I'm addicted to doing funny and painful stuff to my face/body(Nope, I'm not into candles and whips!), it will have a more lasting effect if I can do this religiously for the next couple of months.

However, I will be looking like a lobster tomorrow and a snake the day after. Please do not be shocked if you happened to run into me the next two days. I'm not mutating, just in the process of having better skin. If you're thinking of dating me, try next week.

The only sacrifice except for the hole in pocket would be the fact that I can't go wakeboarding this weekend. Part of the deal is to stay out of the sun for an entire week. Not tough if you're a Raffles' Place dweller like myself, stuck in a tiny office in one of the many skyscrapers stuck in the CBD area. But if you love a good weekend out in the sea, let's just say, this weekend is going to be tough on me. Very depressing... Think: For the love of better skin.

* The above in italics is taken off Wikipedia.

K850i

Buying mobile phones can be such a bitch. Couple years back I rushed to buy the K750 before it was launched. Superbly overpriced but must say, great phone!

Couple of months back, I bought the Samsung D900 Calvin Klein special edition on an impulse. It was a good looking phone but for my purposes, it's not great. In fact, I nearly murdered the phone. It could not save sent messages so for an absent minded airhead like me, when idiots like you send me replies like, "OK!", "Yes", "No", "Alright". HUH?

Then got the W850 as a gift a couple of months back. All good but only problem, I don't use the Walkman function at all. It's a Walkman phone for crying out loud. Even then, it's still a good phone. My experiences with Sony Ericsson's been great after some disappointing Nokia of course. My only problem with the phone right now is its size. Too fat. It would be perfect if I could just put it through one of those Marie France courses.

Now the perfect one is here...

Introducing the K850i -

It comes in 2 colours, the green one looking like a light sabre from the side profile. As much as I think the Velvet Blue one is nice, I can see myself going out to get the luminous green one. It's so Star Wars!!!

Best part - it has a 5 megapixel camera! Why am I not getting it? Well, I'm saving up for my NY trip end of this year so this will have to wait. How depressing!

There's Always Light At The End Of The Tunnel

Friday night couldn't have been more fun. Went for drinks and dinner on Club Street with the company. Dinner was great and all and I swore I saw the owner of the chain sitting by the table next to us. Food was great albeit a little spicy for my weak and churning stomach. The fun was actually after dinner when I went to join a bunch of 15-20 people whom I've never met before at Partyworld on Orchard. I laughed too hard, I think I'm still suffering from stomach cramp.

Well, when I first got there, it was a little awkward because I barely knew anyone and since I don't drive a Bimmer (By the way, these people are from BMW-SG.com...), I thought it was going to be a boring and I might just head home after 15 mins. Then I found myself sitting beside an hyperactive bucket of fun. "Limited Steps Dancer cum Ultimate Ice-Breaker" (Was thinking I'd just use their nickname on the forum here but because this guy's nick is his actual name, I had to come up with an apt nick.) was dancing all nice and entertaining everyone. I have to say he was really nice and was trying his best to make everyone comfortable. Half of those people have never met one another so his presence was very well appreciated and received. He made me enjoy my Friday since a long long time. His well timed jokes cracked up everyone present. I'm glad I'm not regretting turning up at the event at all.

Thankfully, the bit of alcohol I took last night did not affect my wakeboarding today. I'm so addicted to wakeboarding and that's the only thing I actually look forward to on a weekend. I mean I do appreciate the rest I get from a hard week of work but to be able to do something satifying to the soul just helps clearing out bad thoughts accumulated during the week. Managed to handle my heel side alot better today but my toe side still needs some tweaking. Eventually got the angle and posture right to my toe side during the last run but lacked that bit of confidence. I shall aim for a good toe side jump popping off the perfect time when I hit the sweet spot next time I ride. Guess it helped by having really flat water and 2 great coaches. In fact, an excellent coach and a skillful boatman. Hmmm, I can still smell the sea water that seeped through my nails.

In life, I never quite expected good things to come my way. I supposed that's cuz I've been really unlucky my whole life. It's good in a way since I don't quite take things for granted and I always try to see the good side of things. On the surface, I may seem like the most optismistic person but on some aspects, I can actually be very dark and unpredictable. Right now, no matter how unhappy and unsatisfying life is, I'll grit my teeth and ride through this huge wake with the smallest sweet spot ever. I know I'd emerge the winner because no one will go through the process and learn the lessons I did. Like the Chinese saying that goes, "whatever comes may, even in upstream conditions, I will take it in stride." I'm thankful every single day for people who cares for me and loves me. Many of you are reading this and alot of you text me to "watch" over me and make sure I'm fine. I just bitch alot in this blog but please know that I take whatever that may come my way and I'll learn my lesson over every possible difficulty. I really appreciate all the concern and I feel so loved. That made my life alot better and everyday that much easier. Thank you.

Lastly, Happy Birthday to my Meiren Biaojie. Without you, I might forget that I even have family members who genuinely care for my wellbeing. I hope you can find the right person to take you in his arms for the rest of your life and making you hot drinks when you're feeling cold. You deserve the best because you are the best! You complete my life...

1L

It's amazing how I thought I couldn't be bothered with things or people, I still am concerned and peeved.

Whatever that is, "Comedy Boss" just announced, relieving our Friday pains, that we'll be leaving for Bar SaVanh at 4.40pm sharp so that we can be at the place at 5pm just in time to knock on their doors to demand for the much needed alcohol. We're still wondering if we should walk or catch a cab there. Parked the car at a friend's place on Club Street so I can conveniently shoot off to meet with the forum people.

Been under the weather these couple of days. I'm sneezing away and my entire respiratory tract feels clogged.

I don't know how many of you have read 1L by Scott Turow but here's a local version, done by the first yearer from top tier local firm, Drew & Napier. How interesting would it be if they can get Jimmy Yim (He's like the principal of all lawyers watching everyone at all black or white or no tie events.) to dance.

Watch this...

When The Going Gets Tough, The Tough Get Going

Still stuck in the office. Wondering whether I should get my butt off the chair and shoot myself off to the gym. I'm just too lazy to move and I just feel like heading home but for the sake of wakeboarding, I must get out right now and work my arse off.

There you go, I'm still sitting right here!

Luciano Pavarotti died of pancreatic cancer today. That poor fellow was looking so frail towards his last days. Rest in peace and as much as I was never quite the major opera fan, few people can successfully dominate a whole music genre like him. He's become an icon over these years and has my total respect.

"Elitist" and myself almost had a showdown yesterday. I gave him a huge real estate/conglomerate client and in turned, I've got a nicely put warning letter sent to me with everyone else carbon copied into. So I wanted to have my revenge with my reply-ALL. Subsequently, was held back by "Coddler Mom" so I forward the email with a very angry message to "Comedy Boss". Now, we're all loading our ammunitions, counting down to the right moment to launch our full-blast attack. This bugger has total disregard for everyone else and is a major names dropper. You may know all the COOs and CEOs of the world but with that attitude, he will only be commonly loathed which he is successfully working towards. I should station my little camera in the office to capture the look on his face when we finally declare war against him. Just looking at him from the corner of my eye totally disgust me.

Yes, I'm still in the office gulping down another can of Coke. Such an addict.

I'm so tired and I need to sleep but too lazy to go home. I'm so hopeless. All I have to do is to pick up the phone, call a cab, get my butt off, take the elevator, walk down the escalator, walk out of the door, walk to the road and get up the cab. Such a hassle. Haha. Wonder if that has anything to do with today being the first day of the time of the month. Haha I can so imagine the boys reading this trying to cover their eyes or ears, or both screaming, "arghhhh, don't tell me, why do you have to type it aloud!" I'm slowly being pushed to the brink of insanity as you can see. Life is hard... Very hard...

When the going gets tough, the tough get going.

So tough to get going...

Singapore Boleh Lah

This is a long read but totally worth it. I never fancied discussing politics online but this is hilarious. Those is bold & italics are the parts I truly enjoyed reading, even over Archie. Some purely bold bits come from me.

Taken from Asiaone.

'Beware the IDR falling into S'pore's hands'
Wed, Sep 05, 2007
The Straits Times

SIASAH: The Iskandar Development Region (IDR) is a massive and expensive project that is said to be very beneficial especially to Johor in the long run. But various quarters - including you, Tengku Razaleigh, PAS members and international financial analysts based in Singapore - are sceptical about whether the project will run as smoothly as planned.

Tun Dr Mahathir: We can develop our territory anywhere we like. But the problem is Singapore's involvement in this project. Why must there be a special joint ministerial committee to decide on the development in Malaysia?

Why must we depend so much on Singapore's participation to develop the IDR? As we know, Singapore is not a good neighbour, and even if it agrees to be involved in the IDR, Singaporeans will eventually buy houses or factories and reside here.

Singapore reportedly has plans to increase its population to eight million to 10 million (sic), a large part of which will be imported from mainland China. As Singapore can only accommodate up to five million to six million, the rest of its population will probably be placed in the IDR.

So if we're not careful, the IDR will eventually be filled with Singaporeans. Past experience has taught us that we lost Singapore because the Chinese population exceeded that of the Malays.

And tomorrow, if the government allows Singapore Chinese to occupy the IDR (through business, employment and property purchase) to a larger extent than the Malays, the IDR would be dominated by Singapore Chinese because the Malays cannot afford to buy homes there. (Could have said something really bad but I'll keep that to myself!)

Malacca and Penang remain in Malaysia because the Chinese population can be offset by the large Malay population. But in Singapore, the Chinese make up more than 75 per cent of the population while the Malays make up a mere 15 per cent. The Chinese there are rich and control the economy. For this reason, we had to release Singapore because the Chinese were too numerous and controlled the island.

And at that time, Lee Kuan Yew, who had initially agreed not to interfere in the political affairs of the peninsula, broke his promise by contesting in the 1964 general election in Bangsar, which led to the late Tunku (Abdul Rahman) becoming incensed and expelling Singapore.

Today, we are trying to invite Singapore to enter Malaysia by participating actively in the IDR through various incentives and investment promotions. Eventually, the Johor Malays - who would initially refuse to sell their land - would be blinded by the highly lucrative offers for their properties and sell them to the Singapore Chinese for instant wealth.

After that, where will the Malays reside? They will be driven away from the rapidly developing IDR. They won't be able to afford the costly property there and will be forced to live outside the IDR.

The IDR will then be filled with Singapore Chinese and Malaysian Chinese who can afford it. What if their numbers exceed the Malay population? We will once again lose Malay territory to the Chinese, as had happened with Singapore previously.


What about the Singapore Government's active involvement leading to the formation of the joint ministerial committee? Is this necessary?

All this while, we had never sought anyone's assistance or advice to develop our country. We had developed Kuala Lumpur ourselves without anyone's aid. We never called on any foreign minister to advise us on how we should develop KL. We have the Economic Planning Unit (EPU) to plan and advise us on our development.

The development of Putrajaya, Labuan, Langkawi and the whole country was the result of our hands and the expertise of our people. Why must we develop the IDR by seeking advice from Singapore ministers? They are just like us. We developed this whole country without the help of foreigners and without the advice of any foreign minister, including Singapore's.

In fact, those Singapore ministers sitting on the ministerial committee can't even make decisions without the direction and consent of the island's most powerful man, Lee Kuan Yew.


Does this mean Prime Minister Abdullah Badawi did not receive correct advice on the IDR?

I'm not sure whether or not he received correct advice. But for sure his decision (on the IDR) is wrong.

He often boasts that the idea of the IDR project is his. A leader should be responsible for every decision made, be it on the advice of others or on his own. (Is he not trying to influence Badawi's decision?) He has the prerogative to reject incorrect advice if he thinks it is not good for the country. And if he agrees to the advice of others, it means he can't later wash his hands of the matter and say that the project was made on the advice of others because, ultimately, a premier must be responsible for all the decisions made.

If the government is not careful about securing the participation of bumiputeras, particularly Johor bumiputera businessmen, in the IDR project, they will be driven out of this rapidly developing zone because of unaffordability. What is the government's role and responsibility to ensure that they are not sidelined but are protected and, if possible, actively involved in the project?

Simple. Don't involve the Singapore government. We do it ourselves.

If they wish to invest in the IDR, we can study and consider their participation, but there's no need to seek their advice. We have our own capabilities. We have certain bodies to play their roles. Look at all the development around us (in KL) and throughout the country - it is our own effort, without foreign assistance and advice.

All the development from the time of Tunku and Tun Razak right down to me was never carried out based on the advice of outsiders. We have the EPU to advise us.

When we decided to make Malaysia an industrialised nation, we consulted the EPU and not outsiders. We can do it if we want to because that's our slogan: Malaysia Boleh. But today, it looks like Malaysia Tidak Boleh because we try to seek the advice of outsiders. (Globalisation? If Singapore had this mindset, we wouldn't even have the MRT today.) What others can do, we can do. We ought to be ashamed at having to seek the advice of outsiders after 50 years of independence. (Hmmm, maybe...)

Take for instance the Petronas Twin Towers - we built them with our own capability and confidence. (First thing first, the architect who designed the Petronas Twin Tower is an Argentine-American, Cesar Pelli. Both towers were built by different companies, Samsung a Korean construction giant and Hazama, a Japanese construction company) I visited many countries - Japan, America, Europe and other developed countries. I saw that we could build skyscrapers like them if we wanted to.

At first, many Malaysians doubted our ability to build the tallest building in the world. I said we try. Previously, our roads were built by foreign workers from India, but today Malaysian companies are invited to build roads and highways in India.

Indonesia too is developing a special economic zone encompassing Bintan, Karimun and Batam. Foreign investors particularly from Singapore are said to be actively involved. Won't this affect the development of the IDR?

That's not a problem to us. The problem is Singapore's active participation in the IDR. I was told Indonesia gave exclusive rights to Singapore to develop Batam. Former Indonesian president B.J. Habibie aspired to make Batam like Singapore, but apparently it did not work out. An international airport was not even built, and its port is small. Singapore places its interest above that of other countries.

It does not really intend to develop the special zone.

Recently, Singapore Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew commented that investors from Singapore could not expect privileged treatment from the Malaysian government in the IDR project. He said Johor Umno members were not pleased with Singapore's active participation in the project, similar to your views and criticisms. And even more strangely, he accused Johor Umno of no longer having confidence in PM Abdullah's leadership and of wanting to topple (menjatuhkan) him. What's your comment?

It's the right of Umno members to topple anyone. Umno members, led by Tengku Razaleigh, Musa Hitam, Radzi, Shahrir Samad and Abdullah Ahmad Badawi, had tried to topple me too. (Internal conflict? Ooh, just democracy eh...) It's their right in a country that practises democracy. If they disapprove of a leader, we may replace him with a more qualified leader. Datuk Onn Jaafar was replaced by Tunku Abdul Rahman. And Tunku was terminated because of opposition from the people. This is common in Umno.

And the allegation about some Umno members trying to topple Abdullah may be true. Kuan Yew may have gleaned this information from those Umno members themselves who have vested interest. Many Umno members are now involved in corruption and always holidaying in Singapore. (Haha. Suicidal remark.) These people are smart talkers purporting to serve the religion, race and country, but doing otherwise.

You are seen as being critical and have made many criticisms against the attitude of the government and Umno members, who would rather follow the leaders without trying to censure their erroneous acts.

Today, actually there is no Umno but Umyes. Everyone says 'yes'. You can't say 'no'. At Umno meetings, no one dares speak. I tried to become a delegate to speak up but I was restricted through various means. No Umno member dares to speak up and take my side. All have become 'yes men'.

This mustn't be allowed to continue, or the Malays will become 'yes men' who dare not criticise leaders who commit mistakes. If we don't criticise leaders, they will continue to make mistakes. And if we let them be, without criticising them, it means we approve of their erroneous acts. If this happens, it spells great misfortune for Umno members and Umno itself.

You are actually angrier about PM Abdullah's scrapping of the crooked bridge project than about other issues. What do you think are the real reasons (other than those already given by the government) that caused PM Abdullah to scrap the project, which held such great potential?

The bridge is vital to Johor's development, especially in relationship to the development of the IDR. The Johor Causeway is too congested and Johor needs a new bridge (be it straight or crooked) that is modern and sophisticated to overcome the congestion which is worsening daily.

It is purported that the crooked bridge can't be built because Singapore is asking for the use of airspace and the sale of sand. But the crooked bridge has had the approval of then-Singapore PM Goh Chok Tong and it can be built if the government is truly determined to do it.

Why didn't the government go through with it? I received information that, actually, the Malaysian government - through a certain person - had agreed to sell sand to Singapore, but this was strongly opposed by Johor people (Umno). The straight bridge would have been built if Johor Malays had not opposed the plan.

The issue is, if the straight bridge could not be built, we could have proceeded to build the crooked bridge on our side. But even this, the government didn't want to do. This is what I don't understand.

There's talk that Khairy Jamaluddin's interference was the key factor influencing the PM's decision?

This I don't know, even though there are allegations that this is so. What I know is that when people ask about Khairy, the PM merely says: 'He's my son-in-law.'

There's talk among Johoreans that the crooked bridge won't be built now, but it may be considered and built if (Deputy Prime Minister) Najib becomes PM. What do you think?

That'll depend on the considerations of the prime minister (Najib) and Umno then. If he thinks it's necessary and good for the country, particularly the development and progress of Johor, he may build it. It greatly depends on the will and courage of the PM then.

Lee Kuan Yew said Singapore-Malaysia ties went through a difficult time during your rule. By 'difficult', is he referring to your actions, for instance, in the building of the Port of Tanjung Pelepas (PTP), which was said to have seriously affected the earnings of Singapore's key port? Besides your request to raise the selling price of raw water, which was unthinkable to Singapore, Kuala Lumpur International Airport's opening too had to some extent impacted the speed of Singapore Changi Airport's progress.

I had initially tried to resolve the issue amicably with Singapore, but Lee Kuan Yew refused to yield. He was very resistant and totally refused to compromise.

Sabahans and Sarawakians can withdraw their CPF money, but West Malaysians can only do so after the age of 55. Sabah and Sarawak are part of Malaysia. How can foreigners (Singapore) try to differentiate between them and divide our people as they like? We are one people.

The price of water we sell is indeed not fair - 3 sen (1.3 Singapore cents) per 1,000 gallons. Today, what can be done with 3 sen? We tried to raise the price slightly but they refused, saying that the first agreement had lapsed. (Then, don't sell. - Imagine me using a very Singaporean tone...)

In fact the agreement has not lapsed. How many thousand times the selling price they earn from selling water to their people? So I decided to give a financial allocation to Johor to build its own water filtration plant. This means we don't depend on buying water from Singapore.

And Johor too can sell water to Malacca at 30 sen (1,000 per cent higher than the price of water sold to Singapore). Johor too can make a reasonable profit from selling water to Malacca. (If I sell my brother my X-box at a profit, wow, works wonder for the country's GDP.

Besides this, our development of PTP has angered Lee Kuan Yew because it badly affects the income of Singapore's key ports. Singapore carries out all sorts of schemes to beat PTP. They reduce their ship-handling charges to woo the foreign businessmen using our ports. And they give financial loans to companies intending to use their port services. But PTP continues to progress and expand, which is what Singapore does not want to see. We are more progressive than Singapore because we try to beat its expertise.

The Indonesian government faces difficulty ratifying the Defence Cooperation Agreement and extradition treaty with Singapore. Singapore resolutely refuses to amend the contents of the agreements with Indonesia. What's your take?

Singapore places importance only on its own interests and not mutual interests. It does things that are more beneficial to itself than to its neighbours' interests and needs. Singapore once considered itself a Chinese island in the middle of the Malay ocean.

Have they forgotten, "Survival of the Fittest"? Now, I feel good being a Singaporean. They sing such praises about us all the time...

Did I Leave My Footprint In You?

Things are finally moving for the luxury resort group and my guy gets to stay in Bali for 3 nights. Ah, I want to be there too. It's been another day of endless meetings and in fact, I just finished dinner with one very serious candidate. 1.5 hours and not a single joke. The laughs were awkward but hey, as long as he's good for the client, he's good for me.

Is it just me or is it a common thing for everyone that in your job, you get to meet with people and some of them have a soft spot for you? I really appreciate the friendship that you slowly build up and after a while, they don't feel like clients to you anymore. You genuinely care whether the person had dinner or is undergoing mid-life crisis. Even if they are no longer within my care, they remain as friends. This is the part of the job I enjoy most and I've probably benefited the most from because I love the interaction myself. Some people fail to see that recruitment is a "people-oriented" industry and that you're looking at more than purely making big money. Someone else's opinion of your character and integrity goes a long long way. I guess I'm still learning to get the balance right and hopefully feel less bothered by crappy people and not to care so much about others.

Some people in our lives come and go. Some come and you hope they don't go. Somehow, they just slowly slipped away. Most often than not, we try not to focus on the slipping away part but we can't deny that it affects us immensely. We end up having these characters appear in our dreams and at times, we can't even recall their names. Some people leave such long lasting footprints that no matter how much the waves rush in to wash them out, they stubbornly remain. Deep inside us, maybe we want these footprints to stay. Other footprints get washed away leaving us with tears and frantic attempts to remember how those footprints look like. Sometimes we secretly hope, they are not just footprints. Sometimes you hope to threading and following these prints. Other times, it may be good to have some footprints after you walked past the tracks. Impression stays, regardless of the size of your feet. Impression lives, regardless of the intention. When you're holding onto something, even merely a feeling, hoping that it'll come back, knowing it won't, the pain could be explosive and instant or it will live. In some cases, the pain grows. Some may not even be pain, it's an unbearable ache. The long-lasting ache that calls for a desperate shout. Nothing hurts more than waiting but end of the day, do we know what we're actually waiting for?

If only people can have similar views and perspertive, even looking at the same side of the moon.

I'm looking out the window
Where we sat to watch the stars
There's a chill within the air
It makes my heart long for your touch
You may be miles away
But as I kneel to pray

I see the same side of the moon
That we'll be looking on when the world turns blue
And know that time and space can't come between me and you
We share the same side of the moon
And though you'll never see all the tears shine through
I know I can't be that far from you
If we're both looking on the same side of the moon

I picture you across the ocean
In your corner of the world
I pray the wind will blow my voice
And gently whisper in your ear
Your night may be my day
And though the seasons change

It's still the same side of the moon
That we'll be looking on when the world turns blue
And know that time and space can't come between me and you
We share the same side of the moon
And though you'll never see all the tears shine through
I know I can't be that far from you
If we're both looking on the same side of the moon
I know I can't be that far from you
If we're both looking on the same side of the moon

Q&A - Be Warned If You're Underaged

Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5-7 days and if it doesn't come means you are in big trouble.

Q: What three things are common between the sun and woman's underwear?
A: Both are hot, both look better while going down and both disappear at night.

Q: Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage?
A: Because they are tired of using their own.

Q: What's common between men and video?
A: Both go backward... forward... backward... forward... backward.... forward... stop and eject.

Q: What goes in dry, comes out wet, and gives warm satisfaction?
A: A teabag.

7 qualities to be a perfect wife:
Beautiful,
Responsible
Energetic
Adorable
Sweet
Truthful and
Self-Organized.
In short, she must have good B.R.E.A.S.T.S

Q: What is the similarity between men and rats?
A: Both keep searching for new HOLES.

Q: What's the difference between biology and sociology?
A: When the baby looks like his dad, then it is biology. When the baby looks like the neighbour, then it is sociology.

Doctor: You look so weak & exhausted. Are you having 3 meals a day as I have advised?
Lady: Doctor, I thought you had said 3 males a day.

Q: Girl friend & boy friend go for a movie. In the dark, a mosquito enters the girl's skirt. Guess where it would have bitten?
A: The boy's hand.

Q: Tarzan and the animals went to the river to take a bath. Tarzan removed his clothes. All the animals laughed. Tarzan asked "Why"?
A: The animals told him..........."Your tail is in the front".

Dark & Cold In Here

When was the last time you had a dream of some acquaintances whom you don't even recall their names? I had one of those with at least 20 of those come and go characters last night. It's a very weird feeling. It's as though everyone around you is just strange and you don't feel like you belong to that sphere, a total intruder.

Maybe that's how I feel about my job now. I'm very lost now. However, I will persevere and stay only because I believe the training will do me good. Been telling myself to keep gritting my teeth, clenching my fist and tomorrow would be a brand new day. I've worked freaking hard today but still wasn't able to hit the daily contact numbers. I've been out on meetings the entire day and having a skirt that has a bad zipper just didn't help. I was forced to go shopping for a new pair of skirt so that I could cut the faulty zip and effective killed the skirt I wore twice. Even then, I'm not going to give myself any excuse. I could have put in more hours but I'm back home reading forums and blogging. I could have been working. My alter ego tells me that I'm too harsh on myself. I probably am. But even when I am, it's just not enough. What is it that I'm not doing and that I should be doing? What the fuck is wrong with me? I want to meet KPIs too. I really do. Good gracious, am I going to cry again? I'm not a cry baby and I will not be. Be strong, CCM. Alright, I'm going mad.

I hope you guys aren't bored by my constant ranting going on and on about work. That's al that's occupying my thoughts and I couldn't bring myself to write about anything else. Blogging has become a form of outlet for me but there are so many things I wanna say but I don't have the courage to or thought it wasn't such a great idea to publish about it afterall...

When was the last time we heard something from Blink 182. Here's one,

(I miss you miss you)
Hello there the angel from my nightmare
The shadow in backround of the morgue
The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley
We can live like Jack and Sally if we want
Where you can always find me
And we'll have Halloween on Christmas
And in the night we'll wish this never ends
We'll wish this never end

Where are you and I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness comes creeping on so haunting everytime
And as I stared I counted the webs from all the spiders
catching things and eating their insides
Like indecision to call you
And hear your voice of treason
Will you come home and stop this pain tonight
stop this pain tonight

Don't waste your time on me, you're already the voice inside my head

I miss you miss you

I miss a good stubborn-knot-relieving back rub...

Somebody

My weekend went pretty well for a fucked up week preceding that. Caught up on my sleep on Saturday and went wakeboarding from late afternoon till the sun went home. Had a fantastic run. Managed to cross the wake although still not jumping and getting the pop. The guys were really encouraging given that they all could do insane tricks but keep having to come back for me only to watch me slam my face into the water again. Enjoyed myself tremendously and totally erased my doubts on how people can ever get addicted to wakeboarding. All that's in my mind now is to improve on my toe-side and maintain heel-side. If you understand what I was saying, give me a call and we can go ride some wake this coming weekend.

This morning was Lala's baptism and I was the official photographer. Will have some nice shots to put up soon. We had to go all the way to Clementi and to think after the baptism, we'd get out of that ulu place. Apparently, we went car shopping from Leng Kee to Turf City and somehow, kept finding ourselves going back to Upper Bukit Timah, Clementi and Balestier. We just drove and drove. My right foot is undergoing my Osim massage as I type this. Managed to run some errands which I've been putting off for weeks.

I can forsee the next few weeks gonna be tough for me at work. I have to work even harder to prove my presence and if all else fails, that's probably the red light to tell me, the story has come to an end and I should look to move on to a place that could better accomodate me. I'm giving this one last chance and hopefully by the end of this quarter, I could go pay up the down payment of my car. Saw a second-hand E46 which has just gone a little more than 50,000 km. 1.8ltr grey Excellent condition. OMV at 40k. Single owner. 3 years old. Going for little less than 80k. Great buy for sedated drive for the next 2 years of so.

Heard this song when I was driving today. The typical Valentines' day top dedicated song but I've never thought much about it until I sat down to think about the lyrics. It's nice though second to Stacey Kent's So Nice

Depeche Mode's Somebody

I want somebody to share
Share the rest of my life
Share my innermost thoughts
Know my intimate details
Someone who'll stand by my side
And give me support
And in return
She'll get my support
She will listen to me
When I want to speak
About the world we live in
And life in general
Though my views may be wrong
They may even be perverted
She'll hear me out
And won't easily be converted
To my way of thinking
In fact she'll often disagree
But at the end of it all
She will understand me

I want somebody who cares
For me passionately
With every thought and
With every breath
Someone who'll help me see things
In a different light
All the things I detest
I will almost like
I don't want to be tied
To anyone's strings
I'm carefully trying to steer clear of
Those things
But when I'm asleep
I want somebody
Who will put their arms around me
And kiss me tenderly
Though things like this
Make me sick
In a case like this
I'll get away with it