Atoming Away... Fast!

Last Saturday was well filled by the Ariel Atom affair. Had I not been consumed by the massive rain headache I've been having since Friday evening till now, I would probably have alot more fun. Having said that, I did enjoy myself. My main purpose for appearing was to assist RS4Cab aka Xiaohong should she need any help on that day since she was the main person in charge of the event itself. Before that, I hadn't heard much about the Ariel Atom let alone the need to wanna get a ride in it. My only impression of it was when Jeremy Clarkson's face looked funny when this sub 3 seconds car accelerated to heaven until my better half who was totally excited about having the opportunity to shoot it.

The road worthy one, if they pass LTA, will be here early 2009. The road version will have ginner headlights, wing mirrors and even has the IU unit. the track version would be going in excess of 170k in Singapore and the road worthy version will cost more than 280k. The cars do come with trailer at costs of about 30k and the cheapest variant at 26k. At top speed of about 170kph, it's not going to be the fastest car on the high end but from 1-100, it is lightning fast! Watch this on YouTube...

If you need or want to buy one, let me know...

Nothing's Gonna Change My Love For You

Not about to kill you with lovey doveys. Just heard this song on the radio earlier while I was reading on and commenting on most men not being able to stay faithful after reading an article on Vivian Chow's unfaithful boyfriend whom she's been attached to for the past 20 years.

Love never stays as passionate as it is. It will evolve into a commitment, a habit and a lifestyle but one thing to always remember is that as much as love takes on a different form, love should still be love. It's easier said since I've only this many years of my life and in about a month's time, I'd be another year older. Even then, I've only tasted the easiest bit in life.

In Chow's case, even without marriage, some form of commitment is expected. Whether we're acknowleging the fact that she has accepted the man for the person who he is and fidelity takes backstage, it is secondary. The man for the person he should be, to promise to love and to hold, should never take such promises likely and to depart on the woman who did all to be there when you need a partner. I'm not saying this will only happen from men to women. Nowadays, gender plays a very little part in infidelity and betrayal.

Promises should not be taken likely and trust should not be taken for granted.

Question: Will a person who has once strayed continue to stray all the time down the road?

If I had to live my life without you near me
The days would all be empty
The nights would seem so long
With you I see forever oh so clearly
I might have been in love before
But it never felt this strong

Our dreams are young
And we both know they'll take us
Where we want to go

Hold me now
Touch me now
I don't want to live without you

Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought know by now how much I love you
One thing you can be sure of
I'll never ask for more than your love

Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought know by now how much I love you
The world may change my whole life through
But nothing's gonna change my love for you

If the road ahead is not so easy,
Our love will lead the way for us
Like a guiding star
I'll be there for you if you should need me
You don't have to change a thing
I love you just the way you are
So come with me and share the view
I'll help you see forever too

Kids Will Be Kids

I literally froze in front of my screen and gawk when I read this. But to be fair, when I look back, I have no idea how recession can affect. The most important thing in the world then was whether I could get the coolest toy in town. Nothing much has changed. This time round, recession hit me bad and for the first time in my life, I felt it. I fear... Living in fear that I might lose my job and the 2000 "what ifs" that follows. Thankfully, I went grocery shopping with my Mom often enough even when I was a child, so I could understand the value of daily necessities and wouldn't be living in denial that groceries costs can run up to the hundreds every week. Worked out some numbers last night, my only way out if to start making some money again.

Taken off AsiaOne
Thu, Dec 11, 2008
The Straits Times

By Lim Pow Hong & Seow Kai Lun

SINGAPORE'S school-going children seem unaware of terms such as 'recession' or 'economic downturn'.

To the average teenager, a budget meal costs $8 at a fast-food outlet and saving means putting aside money for a 'cool' $248 iPod nano. When they run out of cash, they just ask their parents for more.

The Straits Times polled 100 students - aged 13 to 19 - who received pocket money. Their responses showed most of them did not think the current recession here would affect their spending habits or that of their families.

Tips for parents

Start giving a child a fixed allowance at a young age, so that he learns the value of money.


Give allowances on a daily basis first, encouraging a child to save 10 per cent of it daily, before moving to a weekly, then monthly basis. Do this rather than giving lump sums of money.


A child should also be given an allowance in smaller denominations so he can save some immediately when he gets it.
Kids talk about money and spending

FAST FOOD OVER KOPITIAM
'I would rather eat fast food than go to the kopitiam to eat as the food there is not so nice.' -Ruthie Tan, 14, Tanjong Katong Girls' School

RACKING UP PHONE BILLS
'My parents got me to switch to prepaid cards so I wouldn't overspend on my phone bills. I have to spend $50 on two prepaid cards sometimes.' - Serene Heng, 13, Cedar Girls' Secondary School

GROCERIES COST THAT MUCH?
'My parents say that they spend $100 to $200 on groceries each time, but I don't believe it. How can they cost so much?' -Nur Fathin Ayunie, 13, Bukit View Secondary School

Ai Race Mai

A popular slogan in one of the local car forums. Not meant to provoke anyone in hope of inviting a real race but just a fun one liner that was started way back when... it was still Ai Kum Mai which obviously is suggestive and the underlying connotation was definitely not allowed on the public forum. I just borrowed that for my title...

Was thinking about the topic Venetta Lopez brought up this morning. What is the main purpose of having the check box "Race" in some of the forms that we see? Doesn't that promote discrimination? Given all the efforts we've put in to create racial harmony, is that what we're going to do to separate the people again? Food for thought...

Some days ago, I read on the news on some Eurasian child who score tops in some PSLE for his racial group but he wasn't listed as a Eurasian child. In the very first place, why do officials have to separate the different races. The best should be named and awarded but truth is, it should matter more that you scored best in a certain field/subject rather than your race. The definitions of some races are still very grey. Would an American Asian mix be Eurasian? No? American with European ancestry and Asian mix?

And as for younger generations who can't speak their mother tongue? Is it that important? I was brought up to be effectively bilingual and trust me, helped me a great deal in handling many situations in life and of course, my job. Mother tongue or not, having the ability to be able to speak more than one languages will definitely help. As much as I'd like to advocate one to pursue their mother tongue and be able to at least speak it, I am not ready to put anyone down based on their inability to do so. But I do know with my kids in future, I'd want them to be able to speak their mother tongue just because they have the advantage than to pick up something totally foreign.

What's your take?

Orchard Road

It's been eons since I last walked around Orchard. In search of a purple dress, the town was combed through resulting in cramped up thighs the next day. The Christmas lightings were up and the crowd was amazing. I literally had to weave past the crowds to get from building to building. The sea of people with cameras of sorts ranging from the point & shoot to the big bazooka looking ones filled up the streets. It was a mess but oddly enough, I enjoyed it.

Except for the hiccup that ended the day, it was a great day out. Aimlessly walking and window shopping, stopping occasionally for a drink or munchbits, it's warm to have someone walking with you and breathing in the holiday spirit together. As much as it was tiring and left me with a bad left leg the next day, I wouldn't mind doing it yet again. This time, I'll make sure I charge myself up with enough carbos along the way to stop me from turning into a hungry monster.

Go down and explore Orchard Road if you haven't done so in a long time...

To the person who left the last comment - I appreciate that you're taking time to read my crap. I take pride that people do at least read the shitload of them. It's my outlet and I'm sure you have benefitted tremendously from it.

Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas
Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Let your heart be light
From now on,
our troubles will be out of sight

Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Make the Yule-tide gay,
From now on,
our troubles will be miles away.

Here we are as in olden days,
Happy golden days of yore.
Faithful friends who are dear to us
Gather near to us once more.

Through the years
We all will be together,
If the Fates allow
Hang a shining star upon the highest bough.
And have yourself A merry little Christmas now.

Lovingly DIY-ed by Moody Penguin.

Patiently wrapped by the above mentioned.




One of the toughest part.




Smoothly wrapped...




Toughest piece on the car. Totally awesome.




Entirely changed how Kokoro looks...




Other amazing details...




Panel above glove box done up in dry CF as well.




Enjoy...




There are many things in life we want and not need. To sticker the panels in my car is neither. I thought it would look good but wasn't too tempted to get anything done. It didn't matter if I had it or not but I'm telling you, this is one of the best gift ever! It takes alot of patience and it speaks words that one can't bring out of themselves or concern stuck behind the veil of the inability to display it. I'm thankful not because I now have CF trimmings but I know you care.

Grey Grey and More Grey Grey

Stepping out of Amara after lunching with Daftbitch and Bster, all we saw was grey. Rain was imminent and the two of them just ran off. Before I could walk to the other end of the building, it started to pour like cats and dogs and I was trapped. Texted Wuuu Wuuu and borrowed his heavy duty brolly only to find out that it was mildly leaking but good enough nonetheless. My shoes trapped a gallon of rain water but the rest of me was still relatively dry.

Moody Penguin took half an hour and a bucket of perspiration last night to remove the interior trimmings from Kokoro. He's going to stick on the dry carbon fibre sticker these couple of days and Kokoro's interior would look vastly different. Frankly, I'm not a CF crazy person and could do with the current trimmings but I was a willing guinea pig and knowing that he would put in his heart and soul to make it right, I trusted him to try his new skill out on Kokoro. After some little and somewhat insignificant dents here and there, he finally found the easy way to do it. Pictures should be up once it's done.

Now for the more exciting part - I've been thinking of getting the Gruppe M for the longest time ever but couldn't bring myself to dump so much money into it given the current bearish market. There was someone offering it on the forum at a good price and even then, I didn't waver enough to take the plunge. Moody Penguin then decided to tell me about his plans for my Christmas pressie. And you've guessed it, Christmas came early for me this year. I picked the air intake over a gift that could possibly melt most girls' heart. I just couldn't say no to the giant piece of carbon fibre that produces that beautiful sound... Pictures will be up when it's up and running... I hope...

Thanks Darling...

I Think & I Think... Too Much...

Mentally tired. A phrase overused by me but nonetheless, carries the meaning it was meant to. Thoughts bugged me although things may have taken a whole new meaning. I contradict myself all the time. I pressed on against what I dread to face. Standing alone, the determination that surrounds the doubts is unbelieveable. I'm amazed at myself.

Every step is taken with care. Should this be or not to be?

Following steps previously laid out only puts one in fear of making the same mistake or never emerging to see daylight. Not being able to carve out your own route, you will just be living under shadows. Abandoning the entire trail has never been a choice until the fatique sets in. Doubts still circles the air.

With clouds above one's head, you flout the basic rules. The need to feel deserved should be put back into place. The need to be appreciated lingers on.

Peace on Earth

"Peace on earth
Goodwill to men"

A Christmas carol that tugs a tear from the corner of my eye. In the light of the Mumbai terror and the death of Lo Hwei Yen, someone whom I remember to be cheerful and sweet though I don't know her too well on a personal level, it came to me that we are taking peace for granted. The past years of being able to sing our carols in absolute peace and dragging our lazy bodies to attend the Christmas service that's always held early in the morning, we have taken it for granted. We take it for granted that we're able to spend our next Christmas with the same people we hold dear. At this moment, I can only pray that Michael is taking this well. This is not easy for a man who's involved in politics and have his wife lost in a political struggle. Only having had a brief encounter with Michael once, he came across as a very nice and friendly person who loves people around him, be it his friends or family. I'm very sorry for his loss. No words can ever describe the grief he's going through right now. I can only pray that Hwei Yen is in God's good hands... Michael, you take care.

Looking back at my little episode in Phuket some months back, I feel so much luckier than the people stuck in Bangkok right now. Yet another political act that has proved to be disturbing. However, I must say that the Thais have made efforts, even during their protest, that they reassure the tourists that they are not intending to hurt them but purely fighting for that they believe in. In that aspect, they do have my respect for fighting for what they want although they have no doubt, inconvenienced others.

Among all the gloomy news, I have a special announcement to make. A joyous one...

Baby Aidan was born on the 29th Nov 2008, at around 7 pm weighing 3.01kg. Congratulations to his parents and he can be quite sure that the uncles and aunties in the group would pamper him like no other.


Peace on earth... Such simple words, so hard to achieve.
Hark! the herald angels sing
"Glory to the newborn King
Peace on earth and mercy mild,
God and sinners reconciled!"
Joyful, all ye nations rise;
Join the triumph of the skies;
With angelic host proclaim
"Christ is born in Bethlehem!"
Hark! the herald angels sing
"Glory to the newborn King!"

Are You Ready?

At the beginning with this year, I was lamenting on the number of weddings I had to attend and I managed to skip a good portion of them. I love weddings and attending them but at this age, you get even your peers asking when is your turn and such and you subsequently just avoid such occasions, Chinese New Year + inquisitive relatives included. As a girl, you dream about your big day since you first saw your elder female cousin/aunt trying on their gown. But when reality kicks in, there are so much more to life than just putting on the gown and veil. There are more factors that revolve around being married than getting married. And as you blow the next birthday candle, you think lesser and lesser of such things or so you wish to believe.

Among my group of friends from school days, we have a divorcee, 2 single souls and the rest of the bunch are all married. It appears that apart from that one (or rather his wife) from the married bunch, the other 3 of us often end up on the same mahjong table.

And then you have the bunch of SBW... (I know some of you guys are reading this and it's meant for your eyes anyway... Celebrate! You're now mentioned on my blog, hence a celebrity. Ha! See you guys for lunch later!) Among them is DaftBitch, a tai-tai triathlete wannabe. She's been with her beau for the longest time ever and is not thinking of tying the knot due to various reasons. Not that we're pushing them for that but I think they're ready. However, DaftBitch is pretty much a character like myself. We're both loud, funloving, insane people but we think alot about life. She's alot more carefree than myself, or so I think. I tend to dwell too much into things. She mentioned she's not in a rush and I feel that mentally, she's got to be ready and no one can push her into it. Similarly for many of you out there who are thinking of getting hitched, I urge you to think if you can live a life with that special someone before rushing into it.

Ex-Sir's Sir is the divorcee I mentioned above. We've been the best of friends forever because he's always been there for me when I needed a friend. He married his sweetheart some years back because they have been together since school, went through that and NS and later on, their individual careers. Finally, they settled down. Little do they know, maybe the time is just not right and now, they are apart.

Ex-Sir's Sir asked me not too long ago if I'm hitting the panic button already. My thoughts are... Probably given some 5 years back, I would have been eager to jump onto the bandwagon with the rest of them. I'm thankful I didn't do that. And those of you who knows me, that relationship of mine that lasted slightly more than half a decade has ended and is defined nothing short of a disaster. Since then, I've never been in a rush.

Was asked if I would mind if my better half isn't ready in a couple of years when I'm turning yellow and haggard (Alright, I'm exaggerating..) I thought about it seriously. I think it's much more important for two persons to feel that they are on stable and solid foundation than to rush into a constitution that they are unsure of. Apart from giving children the legitimacy, I don't think the marriage certification would be of a big issue. In today's society and in particularly referring to myself, women are financially independent and we do not need the certification to give us the security we need. The security tends to be more emotional than tangible. As long as we know that we have a shoulder to lean on and a listening ear to mumble the daily grumbles to, we are usually more than happy.

But of course, I can't be too sure how things would be like in say 5 years time but I'm sure if I know that this is a person that I'm going to spend my life with, it's because he can provide me with the emotional security and is there for me to love and to hold and not merely tied down by the vow of till death do us part. The physical vow is nothing but bullshit. It is the willingness to live out the vows that really matters.

One of my favourite uncle who has been dating for more than a decade way before my Grandpa passed away, still hasn't got any plans to get married because he didn't see the need to and isn't bothered by my ever-nagging Grandma. I don't think why any of you out there should unless you plan to have kids or buy a HDB flat.

My favourite line still goes... "As long as you're here with me, nothing else matters."

It Takes Two

Funny how my mind like to run in circles when you least needed confusion. The more you avoid, the more you find yourself entangled in the lines. Thoughts get muddled like a foot in the swamp in an attempt to free itself from sinking any further into the water percolated sand. The world gets darker as we sink deeper until a point where we can no longer breathe freely. The heart dies. The thoughts dead.

How did we ever even allow ourselves to be tangled up when we are totally capable of not walking right into the swamp in the first place? Apart from the myriad of possible reasons, the one big factor is the decision maker, the main and only player in your game and the deciding piece on your chessboard. Very often, we are the ones who allow and condone. But we also forget, we have emotions and we're very much controlled by them. We choose to be entangled because we are too excited over the adventure of getting past the swamp in order to reach the oasis on the other side.

There is also the part in life where it takes two to tango. (Technically speaking, one can tango too but well, it's a figure of speech) Both have to be willing to peep into one another's life through the other person's binoculars yet pardon the dust specks and scratches on the lenses. My favourite line to my better half, "as long as you're here with me, nothing else matters" and I mean every bit of it. As long as you have the support and backing that you know even if you fall, the pain is secondary. All you have to do is to trust wholeheartedly. Communication then becomes the main tool that fixes and bridges. If happiness is the end destination, then pit stops should have them too. We can then rest and look at how far we've walked and be happy with our achievements.



Yes you can hold my hand if you want to... Cuz I wanna hold yours too...

* Regretted not having gone to skate at Bryant Park last Christmas.

Importance of Self

Very often, we tend to lose a part of ourselves when we move into another stage in life be it dating, marriage, having a new pet, getting a new job or welcoming a new life. The time we have is usually barely sufficient to handle the already packed and hectic life of a regular working adult, a change will only mean sacrifices to be made along the way. As much as we hope we could still do what we were doing before, time may post a real challenge. The crucial bit is not to lose so much of yourself at one go or it'd be extremely hard to pull yourself out and put yourself back to where you came from.

Maybe it's simply self-denial that one lives to think that things may take a positive step and remain nothing else but positive. Things almost never work out the way we want them to me. At least for me...

All we can do is hold our fort and hope for the best in the next steps we take. Too much speculation and plans will get us nowhere. I know I sound incoherent and that's cuz I am...

Happiness Left...

Happiness seems to be a word that escapes from me on a regular basis. The laughters were not forgettable and the thought lingers. The tears escaped from the jail of pride. Growing up being the flawed self-centred individual, friends have grown to either love or hate me. But it was understood that I meant no harm but words I say tend to get me into trouble. It was also understood that PMS is no excuse to tantrums and bad attitude but it can't be helped that half the population in the world go through that. Not in an attempt to justify PMS or the actions that followed. Guilt is a more appropriate word. Love is the basis. Happiness is the destination.

Looking back at the activities, the thoughts and love, any description less than beautiful is not doing justice. If change is what is needed to be a better person, anyone should consider stepping up to fill bigger coats. In the process, understanding from people around you will prove to be crucial. I suppose only when you survive through changes and growing up, you survive the worst and emerge stronger. If you get dropped out in the process, maybe you've just failed as a person. In this case, failing as a partner and support. Having the ability to give, drains and fills one all at the same time. But having the ability is a gift in itself, a gift coupled with the refusal to give up. All in the name of love...

Maybe by seeking and settling in a spot with true appreciation would there be sufficient happiness...

And I Love You So...

爱永远都是难题
失去分寸太容易
谁都是凡人不够小心翼翼
有时候忘了珍惜
伤害来的太无意
有时爱太急需要空间呼吸
争吵愈狠痛愈深刻
然后不断自责
我们都忘了最初的快乐
拥抱越紧痛愈深刻
谁不会舍不得
现在我给的或许并不是你要的
如果分离是唯一的解脱
最后的话我来说
如果永远你不必再难过遗憾让我来过
就算过去的回忆太脆弱
连未来也没有我
爱着你仍是我的执着
让你哭泣对不起为了爱承受委屈
说过的承诺其实还没忘记
愈是在乎的关系愈是相处不容易
伤害了你我也失去勇气
争吵愈狠痛愈深刻
然后不断自责
我们都忘了最初的快乐
拥抱越紧痛愈深刻
谁不会舍不得
现在我给的或许并不是你要的
如果分离是唯一的解脱
最后的话我来说
如果永远你不必再难过
遗憾让我来过
就算过去的回忆太脆弱
连未来也没有我
爱着你仍是我的执着
走到感情关键时候却握不住你的手
还能有什么藉口让爱再回头
多少的爱说不出口
就让时间帮我说话
我一个人拼命挣扎
总比两个人一起难过还好吧
如果分离是唯一的解脱
最后的话我来说
如果永远你不必再难过

Dark In Here...

Needless to say, you must be one of those common people who have felt the slowdown in the economic downturn. Having just made a lateral move to another consultancy, I couldn't have started on a worse note. The glorious days of good money seems to be over and everything is starting to look so gloomy. Like the weather, there seem to be a constant overcast at all times. The next dollar seems to be harder to come by...

Even than, I remain positive that things will be better. To be absolutely frank, when I typed the above statement, I felt guilty if I really meant it. Things might be better some day but I'm not seeing the light and in fact, we're just at the very beginning of the cold and dark tunnel. It's sadistic but it feels good to know that there will always be people who are worse off but there are also a bunch of people who thrive that during times like that and can make the best out of the worst situation.

Who doesn't want to have this sort of ability and mentality but truth is, we're all born differently. I've always felt vulnerable to changes and it could be the way I was brought up. I may seem like an adventurous person but in actual fact, I might just be the most conservative person you'll ever know. In terms of my actions and body language, I tend to be loud and larger than life. Behind closed doors, I'm just a wimp and always reluctant to step out of my comfort zone and take some kind of risk. To me, I can't possibly find something else that could give me the flexibility and possibilities which is why I'm not keen to try. Having said that, I might have been too independent since I was young so I had to fight for every bit myself hence the reluctance to let go. However, things aren't as dark as I'm portraying it. It is still not the end. If the warrior in me starts to fight the war again, I might just make a comeback pretty soon.

So right now, it's best that I hide behind the screen and start hunting...

Regular Weekend

The last weekend was simple and regular but one that I enjoyed tremendously. Nothing amazing but just some slow moving actions and spending quality time. Both days were lazy and I was completely catching up on my sleep. First half of Saturday evening was spent watching Texas Hold'Em and the second half was my own mahjong game. Although the night could have ended better, I have no complaints.

Quantum of Solace filled the later half of Sunday afternoon with the first half spent at home, lazing around with my folks. Aimless walking and window shopping's never been more enjoyable. Day ended early but I like the simplicity and could only look forward to more.

Back to Quantum of Solace, it wasn't so much a movie I was dying to watch. To begin with, I was never a Bond fan apart from the fact that I'd love to marry Pierce Brosnan. But I knew I'd enjoy the company more than anything else, so I went. Loads of action and as expected, I wasn't disappointed. Having read reviews on the show having very simple plot, I walked in eyes wide open, not expecting any plot. It wans't half as bad as I thought expect that there were bits of it that gave me the motion sickness discomfort. I love the first scenes with the Aston Martin. Awesome car, awesome scene.

I'd take a simple weekend anytime...

Giving & Taking

This is an age old subject which I believe few of us have found a balance in this delicate mix. Some of us find ourselves giving more and others, taking. Thing is, would takers know that they're taking?

To prevent ourselves from taking things for granted, we often find ourselves questioning our souls within if we're being appreciated for the little things in life that we do and more often than not, little sacrifices made by us. Sacrifices are not often measurable by it's quality or quantity because when you truly love and care, these things doesn't matter. It does, however, matter a great deal when having this particular person around and the importance of it is being overlooked. That is when relationships fail and crack.

To be able to give is actually a great thing and when we love, we forget about the giving. Constant review will allow you to think if you've been a happy camper. When the sky turns grey, you wonder if the rain will ever stop and if the sun will re-emerge. The sun might came back up in a different way, may not be what you expect it to be but does that mean that you're staying up to look at the break of dawn or would you rather to lying in bed snoozing away.

Was told not too long ago that I have to constantly believe that I'm a diamond. In order for others to love me, I have first got to love myself. Should I even allow anything or anyone to cause chaos to my life? The answer waits to be seen because in life, there are just so many little bits that makes it colourful that might eventually bring you down or put you in a better place. We don't just sweep it away because it's messing up the place now. In a way, I'm too positive and hopeful for my own good and in a way, I wonder if I'll ever see the rainbow. Either way, we need to love ourselves again and probably not allow ourselves to get battered and torn again. Diamonds are diamonds because they are unique and with the right lighting, the attention it draws may just be extraordinary.

Life would be so much better is everyone can take everyone else a little more seriously and not be bothered with the nitty gritties. The very minimum is to appreciate the little things people around you do for you in order to see life in the bigger picture.

STAR-ring Northlight School

On Saturday, I went on a charity event with SGMerc to Northlight School. The students are made up of children in their teens who have difficulties in one way or another, passing their PSLE. Some of them have learning difficulties and in fact, I spoke to one of the boys who is autistic. Others may just have terrible family background that deters them from spending more time in their studies. More often than not, they belong to the category of students we classify as the needy students in terms of their learning or financial ability.

These students are at the age of their lives that if not given proper guidance and hope, they will easily be led astray. If we're able to help them get on with life the right way, bearing the proper values, they will one day be a good contributor to the society. The Principal explained during one of their powerpoint presentations that these children are taught to remember that they are a star. Quoted from her, "The darker the environment, the brighter you shine." And instead of giving them dreams and hopes, she makes them work hard and beating the fact in reality back to them. If they think life is unfair, that's because life really is unfair so they'd have to accept it and move on, making the better out of things. Even for the rest of us being more fortunate to be able to receive the kind of education we did, we should also not blame anyone but to work towards our goal.

This charity event is particularly meaningful because it reminds me of how fortunate I am in my given environment. And on hearing those aspirational stories by the SGMerc members who shared, I know the last I know be doing is to rest on my laurels. The only way for thigns to get better is to make it happen.

International Energy Week

Had to wake up really early yesterday to attend a breakfast seminar on International Energy Week. Which also explains why the news these couple of days revolves around energy and it's fate for the next decade or century. My initial intention when I accepted the invitation was to purely network and at the same time, learn more about the particular industry which I genuinely believe that the information would help me. The seminar really opened my eyes although I didn't stay throughout.

Apart from our common knowledge of wine, solar, hydroelectric, wave, biofuel, nuclear and fossil fuels, we can actually look into more environmentally friendly options in time to come. What actually comes to mind when we mention nuclear energy. We're always so against it but do we actually know why apart from the fact that it is radioactive. To be fair, we've seen pictures and heard stories about radiation and I'm totally against it. But truth is, nuclear plants do not emit carbon dioxide like fossil fuel plants do. They are generally better for the environment ONLY IF the decommission of the plant is done properly and that means really high cost. Radioactive waste should also be handled with care and should not be allowed unless very detailed care is taken. Yet again, it's the cost issue. We all tend to place the importance of money way above our environment. I dread to think the sort of environment my kids and our future generations would be growing up in.

Carbon capture and storage (CCS) is one new term for me from yesterday. In short, this process separates the CO2 during industrial processes, transporting it to a storage location and isolating it from the atmosphere. This will greatly reduce the amount of CO2 being released into the air. Potential storage location will include dried oil and gas fields, unminable coal beds. CO2 will then be injected into these places where the CO2 will react with the metal oxides underground to produce stable carbonates. Which in English, means it will encourage the generation of more energy. This is currently in research stage and to retrofit the equipment for the process would be a very expensive project even if it can be done. New rigs can be built with these function and it will be relatively cheaper to do it. So if this is possible in the near future, we still have hope given the limited amount of fossil fuel we have right now. Details of the above process is extremely dry and I have yet to totally undersand so I shan't embarrass myself further but I think with enough efforts to change the world, we can all make it a better place.

With the warload + Texan oil king off his throne, we all have hope...

ERP on PIE Kills ECP

Traffic was unusually heavy this morning. There weren't any accidents. I'm presuming a large group of people recee-ing to avoid PIE from tomorrow onwards. I am forseeing a disastrous morning tomorrow. Just one question i have in mind - By charging every possible entry into "high day traffic volume" areas, would traffic condition ease up? At least for me, there's nothing much I can do about it but get caught and resort to paying to get it. You might want to point your finger at me and be laughing, thinking "serve you right" but if you live where I live, you will get where I'm coming from and why I'm driving to work, of course my passion for driving aside. And the toll is ridiculously overpriced. Has anyone EVER questioned what are those numbers based on? I spend about $5 to get to work and another $1.50 when I go home considering that I'm not taking CTE that would set me back by a couple more dollars. The cost of living is getting so high, it's greatly reducing out standard of living... Singapore is just forcing me to get out.

Spartans!

After watching the show "300" for about 6 times and not being able to finish it because I'll usually fall asleep within the first 10 mins, I finally had the chance to stay awake throughout the entire show and actually enjoyed it. But of course, I had to keep my eyes open for the first 30 mins. Somehow, it was just so hypnotising.

I have to admit that this is not my favourite kind of show. Too much gory and heads flying around and it's far from being a non-fiction. Then again, which of the movies out there are actually non-fiction when they only try to be a non-fiction as much as they can try to portray it.

Somehow, the show managed to remind me that once you're decided on fighting the war, there's no looking back. As much as strategies and strength are crucial, it takes more than bravery to keep holding on. Then again, overkill of ego and pride. The only nice thing is the respect for women in the show. If my husband loved me until the very second that he fell dead on the battlefield, I'd probably be the happiest widow on earth. It was such a beautiful thought...

Capricorns Are...

Taken from http://www.astrology-online.com/capricrn.htm

If you're lazy to read, the interesting points are highlighted... Parts of them makes me laugh...

Capricorn! About Your Sign...
Capricorn is one of the most stable and (mostly) serious of the zodiacal types. These independent, rocklike characters have many sterling qualities. They are normally confident, strong willed and calm. These hardworking, unemotional, shrewd, practical, responsible, persevering, and cautious to the extreme persons, are capable of persisting for as long as is necessary to accomplish a goal they have set for themselves. They are reliable workers in almost any profession they undertake. They are the major finishers of most projects started by the 'pioneering' signs; with firm stick-to-it-ness they quickly become the backbone of any company they work for.

Capricornians make of themselves, resourceful, determined managers; setting high standards for themselves and others. They strive always for honesty in their criticism of self, they respect discipline from above and demand it from those beneath them. In their methodical, tough, stubborn, unyielding way, they persist against personal hardship, putting their families and/or their work before their own needs and welfare to reach their objectives long after others have given up and fallen by the wayside. In fact when practical ability allied with the drive of ambition are required in employees to make a project succeed, Capricornians are the people to hire. They plan carefully to fulfill their ambitions (which often include becoming wealthy), they are economical without meanness, and able to achieve great results with minimum effort and expense. Because of their organizing ability they are able to work on several projects simultaneously.

They have a great respect for authority but may not, if they reach high rank, be willing to listen to other opinions on things they are directly responsible for. As the ranking authority figure in a given situation they expect their underlings to be as self disciplined as they themselves are, and to perform every task undertaken to the highest standard.
They are, nevertheless, fair as well as demanding. Among their equals they are not always the most pleasant of work fellows for they are reserved and too conservative, valuing tradition more than innovation, however valuable the latter, and they are often humorless. There is also a tendency to pessimism, melancholy and even unhappiness which many Capricornians are unable to keep to themselves, especially if they fail personally. In the extreme this trait can make them a very depressed individual; ecstatic happiness alternating with the most wretched kind of misery which is so subconsciously buried that he or she should seek help if such emotions become frequent. For the above reason, capable Capricorn should spend many hours in meditation, gathering the strength to control such inner emotions.

The swings in mood are not the only reason some Capricornians deserve the adjective based on their name - capricious. They can be surprisingly and suddenly witty and subtle for the quiet, reserved individuals they seem to be, and they also have a tendency to ruin things by unexpected and utterly irresponsible bouts of flippancy. In certain individuals in whom the characteristic is strong, the temptation to do this has to be resisted with iron self-control. Another unexpected quality in some Capricornians is an interest in the occult which persists in spite of their naturally skeptical turn of mind.
Their intellects are sometimes very subtle. They think profoundly and deeply, throughly exploring all possibilities before deciding on a 'safe' alternative. They have good memories and an insatiable yet methodical desire for knowledge. They are rational, logical and clearheaded, have good concentration, delight in debate in which they can show off their cleverness by luring their adversaries into traps and confounding them with logic.

In their personal relationships they are often ill-at-ease, if not downright unhappy. They are somewhat self-centered but not excessively so, wary and cautious around people they do not know very well, preferring not to meddle with others and in turn not to allow interference with themselves, thus they tend to attract people who do not understand them. Casual acquaintances they will treat with diplomacy, tact and, above all, reticence. They make few good friends but are intensely loyal to those they do make, and they can become bitter, and powerful enemies. They sometimes dislike the opposite sex and test the waters of affection gingerly before judging the temperature right for marriage. Once married, however, they are faithful, though inclined to jealousy. Most Capricornians marry for life.

Their occupations can include most professions that have to do with math or money and they are strongly attracted to music. They can be economists, financiers, bankers, speculators, contractors, managers and real estate brokers. They excel as bureaucrats, especially where projects demanding long-term planning and working are concerned, and their skill in debate and love of dialectic make them good politicians. They are excellent teachers, especially as principals of educational establishments where they have the authority to manage and organize without too much intimacy with the staff members. If working with their hands, they can become practical scientists, engineers, farmers and builders. The wit and flippancy which is characteristic of certain Capricornians may make some turn to entertainment as a career.

He Who Hogs, Truly A Hog

Traffic jams are rare on ECP. Although every morning, the traffic gets a little heavy but it's usually moving unless there's some sort of traffic jam. I have resorted to crusing on KPE for my trip home because the roads just get too congested between the 6.30pm to 8.30pm period. But on my way to work, I still go on autopilot and will cruise my way through ECP although it is a slightly longer route.

However, from my observation, the slow down on ECP is usually caused by road hoggers. People who are on the overtaking lane going at 70km/h. What were they thinking?

Please, if you know you're slower, no one is asking you to go faster or break the sound barrier. Just keep left and let the other vehicles pass you. If you think you're going at 90km/h and should be on the right lane, please remember that it is an overtaking lane and not called a max speed limit lane. What's the problem with keeping left and let the other cars pass and subsequently join back into the overtaking formation when the faster cars have gone past you? The worst are the oblivious driver. I doubt that they ever look at their rear view mirror to look at other cars needing to pass them.

Next time you're on the road, spare a thought for other drivers. They might or might not have a legitimate reason to go fast but if you're not in a rush and you're blocking their way, just have the courtesy to let them pass you.

KPE - Love & Hate It

After getting the warning for speeding in the newly opened KPE, I'm extra careful and I know exactly where the cameras are but mostly importantly, I just switch to cruise control and move on when my car decides when to step up and slow down. The letter clearly stated that I could be fined some X amount and gotten like 4 demerit points. Ouch!

By the way, I was going at 85km/h which is below the speed limit for the other expressways. No excuses because I know that the limit is at 70km/h but my grumble is that it's so easy with modern cars to go beyond 70km/h without really stepping on it. The speed limit is ridiculous.

I usually take it on my back from work because it requires little brain cells because no one would be overtaking as that would potentially earn you a ticket. On the way towars CBD, I've never quite taken during morning peak hours. Let me know if you have done so and how's the condition like before I decide to be suicidal and try on a new route.

Interpretation of Dreams - Broken Mug

Do you believe in dreams and what it might be telling you?

After reading messages on Skype that Moody Penguin sent me last night, it took my a while to realise what he type and even then, I had difficulties digesting the information. Apparently, he will be going away for a while for various reasons. I had these in anticipation but it just hit me of a sudden that this is finally happening. The thought of not being able to hold him when I'm feeling down is indeed a little depressing but I'm happy things are moving for him. To avoid any form of miscommunication due to the lack of it, we had to learn to be more patient with and understanding of one another. Although I can't wait for life to start, I'm also apprehensive of what it brings me.

Tossed and turned in bed the whole time last night and couldn't fall asleep which also explains why I'm rather zombie like today. I did however manage to catch some 20 winks. I vaguely remembered this morning that I dreamt of a broken mug so I hurriedly search the internet for an interpretation and guess what I found. Taken from the book - Ultimate Dictionary of Dream Language

Mug (Broken) - Lack of communication will result in a major set back. Think ahead in order to prevent this.

Scares me how dreams indicates what is on your mind. I refuse to believe that it foretells anything but I am impressed with the book and what it is telling me.

Out-Excess

Recession has gotten to me and I think I brought it upon myself. Retail therapy this week kept me sane for a while until I thought of my credit card bills. A cheque to A&E Quack hasn't been cleared and I still owe Amazing Race Partner the monies for my last Phuket trip. On top of all these, the senseless purchase of shoes and board shorts has hit me back to reality. To top it off, I received a reminder from my mobile phone service provider that my bill hasn't been paid.

Wakeboarding with a banker, an advertising chi-chi tai tai wannabe aka Alcoholic Empress Dowager was disastrous yet hilarious. The session ended among thunder, lightning and a bunch of screaming girls. 10 mins after the screaming, we were back on dry land discussing how we should save money because it's recession and how the bankers are having their meals at hawkers. It seems like elastic things like good food are the first to go in times like these.

My teeth whitening scheduled but beginning of next month has to go on but everything else would have to go. That includes excessive shopping, excessive travelling (overseas or in Singapore although petrol prices have dipped), excessive food (which is also good for the waistline). However, that made me think twice on how much money I have been wasting for the past months or years. Watching the bank account dip is not a good feeling at all. In an attempt to make my life better, I'm determined to be more thrifty. Until my next big pay check that is...



被现实推挤
梦想会变形
执着让人
觉得好吃力
我只是看着你
了解的神情
微笑扬起
又能继续
有时候爱是一种眼神
赶走所有苦闷
是你让我记得自己不是一个人
有你在什么都有可能
因为彼此信任
真的爱情不需要保证(会恒温)
你从不劝我
别逆风飞行
牵手陪我
向梦前进

TGIF

Thank God it's Friday. It's been a long time since I can relish this ability to rest well after a hectic working week. Unfortunately, I have nothing lined up but will take Mom and Dad to a good meal. Dad's been away and is only back tonight so dinner will be at the airport. After which, my Friday night will be spent right in front of the computer and telly. My pretty frock I chose to put on this morning is just a beautiful sight for my 2 new colleagues, not that they paid much attention to it anyway. Alone and lonely.

Having said the above, I don't think I want to be out drinking and partying so a bit of a quiet time is actually good. The only thing missing is a tight cuddle in bed.

是我想太多?

Staring at my reflections as I was approaching my car this morning, I started to wonder where has the rest of me gone to. In terms of quantity, I have been seeing more of me but I couldn't see the soul that followed me through the ups and downs. I was caught in a blank moment...



你笑着说他是朋友
但你眼中太温柔
我的不安那么沉重
只有你不懂

他霸占了你的心中
属于我的角落
所以你说我们不是你和我

是我想太多你总这样说
但你却没有真的心疼我
是我想太多我也这样说
这是唯一能安慰我的理由

他霸占了你的心中
属于我的角落
所以你说我们不是你和我

是我想太多你总这样说
但你却没有真的心疼我
是我想太多我也这样说
这是唯一能安慰我的理由

我想我没有错怪了什么
虽然你不说都是错在我
太晚我才懂爱了你太多

是我想太多你总这样说
但你却没有真的心疼我
是我想太多我也这样说
这是唯一能安慰我的理由

Glenn and the FD were monkeying around this morning as usual but I wasn't quite in the mood except for my traffic updates. The last I want is to be stuck on ECP on my way to work on a Friday plagued with meetings which essentially means, no casual Fridays for me. While switching between the "CD" and "FM" function, I paused when the hilarious DJs quoted from some SMSes on how women like to be treated. One of them was about gifts from guys. Girls like it even better when they come with cards with loads written on it. Not the canned messages but one handwritten by the sender. Words, the more the merrier. I couldn't agree more. Cards/Letters are things that weathers through the years and in time when you look back reading such messages, the exodus of memory will just rush out enough to drown you in an emotional storm. I did that a couple of nights ago and realised how colourful my teenage years actually were, filled with letters between girlfriends. These days, my gifts have become very unpersonalised as well. Some soul searching is in the pipeline...

The other SMS said that whenever we come back from work (either back to home or just seeing one another), all we want is for you to look at us in our eyes, give us a hug and tell us how much you missed us. I would not classify this as what guys should do for girls but in general, what everyone should do to their other half and not let this crazy world take the love away from the both of you.

Going back to my personal insignificant world, I do not like to be ignored. I guess no one does. I think it's fair if one has to do it for work but to do it in spite, you may think it's right but definitely not to me. Sincere apologies should be taken into account whether they are eventually being accepted or not. For weeks and weeks, I cared too much that I let every single thing affect me. Had I not cared so much, it may not have such a great impact on my life. But then again, have we all left our burdens from yesterday behind and move on or do we still have a million of things going through our heads when the last significant other calls or smses? Still living in someone else's shadow, I can't find my smile.

Click Click

A&E Quack or rather, ENT Quack or soon to be Radiology Quack, whatever, we all know he's a quack... Well, dropped us a huge piece of news yesterday. Really happy for him and it's nice to be able to share the "frolicking" mood around the group. When he first told us, I was hesitant to believe what he said since it's a bit of crying wolf. He's not a habitual liar, don't get me wrong. But he's always joking about things, everything, that I tend to hold back a little whenever he breaks such news. Anyway, all of my very best wishes goes out to him.

Anyway, I've been talking about this forever. I want a camera. Not a point & shoot, I've got like 2000 of them (just a figure of speech, I'm not buried under them yet). I want a decent, complicated, confusing, cool looking SLR. From looking at the 40D since last year, I've been procrastinating the purchase ever since I got my Kokoro. Now that the 50D is out, I'm being tempted once again.

To be fair, like what Moody Penguin said, I don't need such a good camera as it would be a waste but it's such a cool gadget to have. So it has become my next goal when I close the next big thing. More like an encouragement. If I get to close a small one, I should be happy with the 450D. Having said all that, my suspension and exhaust are still in the pipeline building carbon... I mean collecting dust.

Meanwhile, I shall just stick to enjoying watching my man play with his expensive toys... That's what he's good at!

TPE... PIE... ECP

Not about to list out all the E's in Singapore. Just a general observation that irks me on a daily basis. The exit to PIE from the TPE is jammed up every morning. Genuinely, I do sympathise with people who are left with no choice but to take that particular expressway but I'm going to rant anyway. Why is it that to turn into the small bottlenexk leading to the PIE, cars have to block up the entire stretch. This only applies to inconsiderate drivers who tries to beat the jam by cutting the queue and tries to join back in at the end of the stretch. The end result - A jammed up 4 lane expressway depriving of people who needs to head to ECP their chance of enjoying that stretch of jamless road and of course, the cost of fuel and environmental issues are becoming a real world problem. What happens to people who needs to head off to the airport during peak hours? Singaporeans have no idea how their behavior seriously affects others, don't they?

Oh well, I'm at work on time so...

Waiting to be Waited On?

Clearing up after ourselves is a basic thing that should be indoctrinated to us but being Singaporeans and totally spoilt by be waited on at hand and feet for everything we do, food courts are filled with the older tier of the population cleaning up after us brats.

Graciousness is something the government has been trying to wash into our brains but some things take time and this is one of them. To try to change human behavior can not simply be done overnight. But let's just try it this once and let's start from fast-food restaurants where the food is not as messy to deal with as food courts and most of the stuffs are disposable.

For myself, I have been brought up to clear after myself but easy help breeds laziness and I have to admit, I leave it to the cleaners now more often than not. Thinking back, this is not something I would like to teach my kids so I shall endeavor to clean up after myself from today onwards.

Martians and Women

Summary to a whole new world after a week - Let's just say with Singapore officially in recession, I'm naturally worried having just starting anew. Overcast loom across the hot sunny Singaporean day. The silence is killing everyone, the financial market is taking it's last breath before it goes into hibernation. The hyperinflation started from market prices and now, my GDP can't seem to follow up. Staying conservative, I can only do what I can and was good at. Whether am I still able, I haven't been able to ascertain myself till I finally get to see some numbers.

Not being the most numbers sensitive or financially sound person around, I just need to rant and let go of the dark clouds surrounding me. If only my work has that big an impact on me. The next thing that could drive me to this stage is by cutting a couple of onions.

Do girls generally ask for too much? Why is it when we know that it is not exactly that we're not being cared for but we just want that bit more, asking for a little too much? I'm so tired and although it's too early to feel so, I can't seem to find the energy to walk anymore. I just want to find a corner, take a rest and cry. But nobody really cares if you shed a tear or not. All they want is to not know about it. As the saying goes, see no evil. What I don't see don't hurt me?

Had a short chat during an unofficial break with Hair Gelled New Yorker about the interaction between guys and girls and I'm not telling how contrasting it is, I only know it's affecting me at this very moment.

When one is the willing giver, one can't blame the non-reciprocation. But is it wrong to feel down? You be the judge.

Blackberry Storm

The iPhone has tempted me in some way but the more sensible part of me has refused to get one of those. Admittedly, it looks so darn cool, just like the iPod and whatever Mac there is. This may sound like sourgrapes but hey, it's still not a Blackberry in terms of email functions. I'm not the most technical person but I know I would like to feel my buttons when I'm typing an email. The qwerty is addictive and with the new Blackberry, many wonder how can a Blackberry ever be touchscreen. The ingenious part of this new BB device, although it's touchscreen, it gives you the "clicking" feeling so it does feel like a real BB. Gonna get one this November. I don't want one now. I need one!

接下来

All I Wanna Do　I Do it For You
心里能感觉　你们还在
如此靠近的遥远
想念的瞬间　不断浮现
接受啊 身边有点孤单
我准备　每个再见面
接下来　有好有坏
我只要　记得起点
接下来　我去迎接　不后退
接下来　可好可坏
有你们　陪在每一天
All I Wanna Do　I Do it For You

All I Wanna Do　I Do it For You
就算啊　偶尔我觉得累
是了解　推著我向前
接下来　有好有坏
我只要　记得起点
接下来　我去迎接　不后退
接下来　可好可坏
有你们　陪在每一天
All I Wanna Do　I Do it For You

Do it I Do it For You

我们一起飞
飞得更远
All I Wanna Do　I Do it For You
替我们实现
梦的极限
让我看得见
我的信念

5...4...3...2...1... BOOM!

Counting the number of days before I get back to the rat race, it is starting to get a little scary. Just imagine someone gave you 3 months to not do anything and just as you are getting comfortable, things have to revert to how it was like or even more more hectic than previously. During these 3 months, situations changed and comfort level has increased tremendously. The inertia to get back is finding it easy to easy to keep me where I am. But to achieve the lifestyle I want, the last I can or want to do is to sit back.

Just when you think life is going to be better, like a bad relationship, some things or people have to haunt you. So much for wanting to part on good terms, Sod's Law has never failed to work its magic. I've offcially sunken to my lowest point and felt that the world has come right down on me without warning. Thinking about some things makes you sick. Thinking about how you thought very well of certain people makes you even sicker. I can't blame others for being naive myself. To learn things the hard way is unavoidable. The bumps and bruises are part and parcel. To learn to love and hold again is a challenge.

I just want to put all the crap behind me and move on...

Wedding March

This is a wedding galore post inspired by my nephew who got married on the 1st of October. Yes, this post is backdated. But information is dedicated to Skeeter Mom. The smile on her face when she went to finalise her ring is PRICELESS.

Vera Wang once said that your weding gown is your most public statement on the most private feelings you have for someone.

Overbudget is common when it comes to that ONE dress of your life time. Different people have different opinions. Some chose to be avant garde and whether they regret it years down the road remains a question but like what I always say, do whatever that makes you happy, it's YOUR moment. Having said that, I can't stress enough that it's not about how grand and lavish things are but what it means to the two of you. Was chatting with Skeeter Mom and wondered if it is sensible to tailor made specially for you and in another sense, buying THAT dress instead of mere rental. It all boils back down to budget and it is definitely insensible to blow them at the early stage as the cost of a Chinese wedding can possibly escalate the nearer you are to the wedding date. Even then, I would love to have mine specially made just for me. Which girl doesn't?

Our local gem - Tan Yoong

The legendary inspiration - Vera Wang

Some creme de la creme bridal gown designers if you have the budget to blow...

Romona Keveza
Reem Acra
Now, prepare your eyes for a bridal gown galore - The biggest collection of wedding gowns but not right here in Singapore so let me tempt you... Kleinfeld Bridal

Chinese dinners can be a big headache for many of us living here in Singapore and born and bred in Chinese families. Our folks want big and grand and it is a time for them to show their children off and how well life actually is. I often think that the wedding dinner is done for our parents than ourselves. Even then, I'll be happy to make my old man proud of his little girl. Right now, he's just got to wait for a couple more years. Thinking back, our parents were so worried that they might be grandparents before time and at my age, they are starting to panic sooner than I am and nothing is stopping them from asking when they can be grandparents even if it means that they become grandparents before they become parents-in-law. I think I'm way more conversative in that aspect.

If you do need a wedding planners, we do have several in Singapore. Be it individuals who are doing it out of passion (I do know one so contact me if you need the number) or little set ups like this to help you out.

Most importantly, don't drain yourself. It's your big day. Take your time or let someone else share your burden. Don't forget, your better half is always out there looking out for you. Pre wedding preparations can prove to be abrasive so you would want to watch that.

To Love Or Be Loved

害怕?



The century old question that we repeatedly ask ourselves, is happiness the ability to love somebody or to be loved. We tend to ask ourselves and even people around us due to insecurities we can't get rid of. You will have the answer when you find that you wouldn't have to ask anymore because it doesn't matter the 0.2% more that you're giving because the contentment is way above what you think you're getting from the other person. Besides, some love can't be quantified with percentage or even how much it's being displayed.

However, we all bring scars into our relationships. Do scars make us stronger or allow the next cut to penetrate easier and deeper? Is it fair to let your current partner live in the shadow of your previous partner? The answer is clear but to live it is yet another challenge. When one is finally able to love the person for who the person is regardless of the emotional baggage carried over from past relationships, then all scars should just be superficial and merely a mark to prove that you've been there and you've done that. The process is painful but with the belief that tomorrow is to be filled up with more beautiful hopes and dreams, time will get us over this bridge.

Those of you who knows me on a personal level will know my favourite quote by George Sand. I believe in only one happiness in life and it shouldn't be in any way, be compromised.

害怕...


我突然觉得有点怕
爱跟生活的一切
你以为我知道怎么拆开
我们的想法落差

我的爱
是说停不能停
已经弄的不能说是曾经
也可说出我是错的
爱未曾变成真的
也没藏到多少你需要的爱
我不再 去执拙我是谁
我是我在夜里掉的眼泪
也可说我看不开的
为你我能做的
竟还没让你相信是爱情
左右你我

而哭泣都是因为爱
也逼自己不掉泪
让往日不只是有你
这网里我也撑着
拼了命的守着

Keeps Getting Better

My world is getting brighter and I can't wait to start my new life. Things are looking up. Life is good. I just need to work extra hard for the lifestyle that I've always wanted and whilst doing that, not forgetting my priorities. Hope I do not disappoint...

Some rough edges need to be sand down and I hold my breath.

Some conversations need to be finished and I wait.

Some trials are painful and I hang on.

It is all worth the ride because you're holding my right hand, walking down this colourful street with me, slowly but surely.

Bear with me...

Kokoro's Skin Colour

Kokoro is NOT about to undergo some plastic surgery but just some thoughts that has been running through my head. When I first got Kokoro, I thought it was going to be black. Need not be jet black kinda black but at least black enough but apparently, with the heavy silver/grey speckles in the paint, it reflects light differently during different times of the day. At times, it'll look purple or blue and other days, it'd look grey. At one point, I even suspected that VW gave me graphite blue in replacement of the black. I really want it black... ... ...

Very recently, a very mischievous idea went through my head. Maybe I should sticker the entire car matte black. But in order to do that, I could jolly well spray paint the entire car then I can have my favourite BMW's Alpine White on my not-so-atas Golf. Rationally, I would do none of these as the costs involved would be ridiculous. I even had to think about my coilovers a g'zillion times before I went to buy one and even after ordering them, I still gave up my order and chose to wait further. It's between some 2 very different choices now and before I decide, my swaybars will be sitting right in my boot.

Basic Respect

Enlightened and inspired by my niece's blog - We may not always agree but what is more important is to respect the other person's opinion.

Sorry...

Have A Break...

3 months of sitting around is coming to an end very soon. It is not going to be easy to get rid of the lazy bone that grew slowly but surely on me over the past weeks. These free time has given me some space to catch up on sleep and explore what life has to offer. Due to budget constraints, my plans for long travels are shelved yet again. That gave me the opportunity to really rest my mind. A bonus that came with these extra hours was a new relationship I've gotten myself into and I've been spending more time than I could ever imagine myself to spend with another person and in the process nurturing what I've been trying very hard, using all my might, to protect and to treasure. Like a new seedling, I just watered and sheltered it from the harsh weather.

Very soon, I will have to go back to a faster paced lifestyle and be worried about the most practical yet coldest of all things, money. The root of all evils, the medium for a better life, the reason to push me forward and upwards. To get into the right mindset and not be lost in the process is a constant reminder I have for myself in order to not get stuck in the maze and forget about the more precious things in life. Dad once said that if there are any problems that money can solve, it is not a real problem.

Setting my priorities right would be a challenge but a must. To forget about what is true happiness is not an option. To seek to put happiness to a greater level is what I have to clear the clouds to see. Staying focused would only set the vision clearer.

This WILL be a good start...

WALL.E and OUR Environment

Shows with underlying meanings never fail to attract me. My first movie date with was Shadow Hell Rider (whom from today onwards shalt be called Wall.E to catch WALL.E. I like it that they take a piss at the US Congress and sends environmental messages to kids. Kinda reminds me of Captain Planet.

When I was visiting the Museum of Natural History in New York, there was this piece of statistic that shocked me. Singapore, by per capita, has the highest level of waste. Which means, we're the most environmentally unfriendly people who dumps everything. Let's just not take everything for granted and try to reuse whatever we can. On the same note, can I urge each and everyone of you, to take ONE less plastic bag whenever possible? Just one less plastic bag every now and then, you'd be amazed by how much you are doing to help Mother Earth.

Check this out!

Although I think Wednesdays as the BYOB day is silly because it wouldn't take off in a place like Singapore, I believe individually, we can definitely make a difference. Help me help yourself to help the world.

Thank you.

I Love The Whole World

I've been hearing this song on the TV every now and then while I'm either playing mahjong or snuggling in bed. Never occurred to me it's a Discovery Channel thingy. Thought I'd share it... It's pretty nice and makes you sing along. Alot of these people are unsung heroes who brings you a different world while you get to watch it in the comfort of your own home. Don't I sound like an ambassador of Discovery? *psst I can sell the top bar to the channel if they are interested.

Nothing Else Matters

If my memory serves me right, I blogged on me being on a rollercoaster ride some time ago. A familiar feeling is rushing up and drowning me and definitely not very pleasant. Not being able to share the thoughts and emotions, the next best thing is to ensure being the best emotional and mental support anyone could hope for, which also led to the overcompensation mentioned in the last post. A willing mind and soul to do that doesn't mean a person is equipped with the strength and capability to pull it through. Prayers tide the mind for a short period of time and calms it down but just the very next moment, one would be gasping for the air and wanting to make it to the surface and not get drowned in the process. To be able to distant myself is a brand new resolution made mid way through the year that you know as per every other resolutions made during new year, it is so not going to last. However, it is afterall, a resolution.

Reluctant to put anyone through the misery and pain, with enough complaints that my blog is always so dark and upsetting, I will keep this very short. So much so, I only want to say, "As long as you know I'm here, nothing else matters."

And I mean every word of it.

Reassessing

Over-compensating is not what I'm good at doing but one would naturally go into that when they are in love. Refraining from doing it is my utmost priority now. When things are starting to feel like a one way street and a totally different direction from where it began, it seems to be the time to take a step back and assess the situation. Having too much time at home doesn't seem like the right solution but only makes things worse. I have more than enough time on my hands to solve problems and subsequently, create them. Right now, I just need to give time to everything and be doing something to take my mind off.

You Make Me Smile

If I can't be someone who makes you smile, then what am I?

I'm so tired, I just wanna scream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Loose Not Your Grip

When you said you trusted me, I trusted that you trust me. I trust that you meant what you say and trust me, I'll keep my side of the bargain.

My sixth sense has never served me better though I wish in a better way. Awoken by the message ringtone from my mobile, I picked up as swift as I can imagine myself to when I'm drowsy, falling in and out of sleep. To begin with, my ability to sense things aren't quite right has never been more accurate. I couldn't quite get to sleep. The message read what I most feared.

To not blog about my relationship is my last attempt to protect it from any harm and to shelter it in order to create room for it to grow. But I could no longer find any reasonable outlet to pour my pain.

When told I'm not a rebound, I believed in every word of it because I believed in the person who said it. However, some part of me refused to admit that there's a flaw in that sentence. The person who said it was absolutely sincere and I do not for one second, doubt that. His belief and the actual fact may not agree with one another.

In fear that if I probe further, it will lead to cutting myself in the wrist yet again so I went into hiding and zipped up. I could see the pain and sorrow but yet I'm not ready to let go of the happiness that accompanied me for the last month. Why is it so difficult to put in everything yet not feel hurt?

To not dwell anymore is my way of avoiding things and I do believe things will only get better. Genuinely. To walk away is not a measure I'm prepared to take because I'm selfish.



Do you hear me,
I'm talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying

Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music fill the air
I'll put a flower in your hair

Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday


All I want to do is to find a way back into love... Do not let go of my hand...

Mildly In Shock

I can't seem to say enough of this but I am just so glad to be home. Still a little detached. Not very keen to speak to anyone. Maybe still in a mild state of shock. Those of whom I gave a one world reply or not reply your smses or return your calls, I really don't feel like talking at this point in time. But I'm fine. I was still able to laugh and joke with SHR. Give me a while but this is good as well. Only means I have more things to blog about.

Amazing Race - Phuket

This is definitely good for reality TV and as good as the amazing race, except that we have no idea how many teams there are. Woke up this morning not knowing if our flight could take off since the Phuket airport remains closed. While arranging for possible way out of Phuket, we met people on the same boat as ourselves and frantically trying to make our ways out of Phuket. We were given several ideas and of which, the idea to make a road trip up to Bangkok stayed etched and similarly with the other travelers, we were all trying to make our way to Bangkok International Airport.

The catch: The ride is at least a good 10 hours on a route we didn’t know if it was safe and it was the road less traveled. Together with 4 other desperate travelers, we booked a van to take us to Bangkok but that would set us back by another SGD800 but money at this point in time, didn’t mattered that much. We wanted to get out real bad! Unfortunately, an American couple left their luggage at some train station and they wouldn’t get there in time to grab their luggage before they set off on their planned flight in Bangkok. For Fongster and me, it’s ridiculous to go on a more than 10 hours unknown trip when we could just wait to travel home on a 1.5hour flight. Well, that was a problem as we have no idea when exactly would the Phuket airport be opened. We were playing a waiting game, waiting for God to take pity on us.

News of the Phuket airport opening excited us and we have decided to come straight to the airport even if it means aimlessly waiting for a flight to fly out to Singapore or Bangkok. The next flight to Singapore from Bangkok was either 7pm tonight or 7am tomorrow morning. Either way, we needed to get our arses to Bangkok. So we camped here in the Silkair office as the Thai Airways authorities refused to entertain us. Even as a Star Alliance member, holding a SQ ticket got us nowhere.

News of the Thai airways landing would also mean other planes could land. By then, Silkair would send their planes here. That would be another hour later so we waited and had our lunch at Burger King. After lunch, we continued with bugging the Silkair ticketing girl. That paid off and while on an attempt to change our flight out from Bangkok to flying out of Phuket on Silkair straight back to Singapore, she managed to confirm a flight for us in a few hours time. Now, while keeping my fingers crossed and hoping that the airport remains open and flights could take off and land safely, I’m waiting patiently to get my butt on that MI flight and my arms around Shadow Hell Rider.

Stamped: 4.27pm Phuket time, Phuket International Airport

Day 3 on Saturday

Day 3 is comparatively exciting. Besides worrying for our flight and the riot for the first half of the day, we were barely affected. Signing a minutely hefty credit card bill, I was whisked into another 3 full hours of massages and a Jurlique facial. It can only be described as a aromatic experience. The rose mist that was sprayed on my face after every facial procedure helped tremendously in soothing the cramps that I was experiencing. My acnes are also getting worse which is why I chose this day to start on the Pill. Hoping to see a difference, I’m also living in fear that this puts on me the higher risk group for breast cancer, not forgetting I’m as already in the high risk group. The cramps and water retention is killing me slowly so the Pill would probably ease all the PMS.

Dinner was initially booked for a party of 3 at Baan Rim Pa, an award winning restaurant here in Phuket. Alkie ED couldn’t make it so Fongster and myself went ahead. To grab a tuk-tuk or taxi there will cost us 300baht and the vendors here refuses to budge. So we resorted to renting a scooter. Here’s the catch, neither of us could ride. Of course, Fongster with the longer legs would probably be the safer rider. He’s got the set of “brakes” I don’t have. Without “power steering”, the “brakes” were crucial when we were making the u-turns. Upon reaching the restaurant, I thought we achieved something great that day by evading the mini oligopoly here on Karon beach. By the way, the bike rental costs us a total of 200baht and another 40baht for gasoline. Trip to the restaurant and back would easily set up back by at least 600baht. For the two of us who just spent nearly 6000baht on dinner, we didn’t quite save much but it was definitely the highlight of the trip.

The last we’ve heard from Alkie ED, there were flights scheduled to come in from Singapore so we are likely to have a flight back home tomorrow. Fingers still tightly crossed.