Christmas Came Early

It's been too long and I'm sure my friends including A&E Quack would agree. Too much procrastination for such a commitment.

Buying Christmas gift for Watziznehm was easy this year. He got so poisoned by his latest road bike, all I had to do is to pay for the accessories which includes the funny shoes, the special pedal for the shoes, a professional looking pump, the bicycle stand etc. It is still a rather big gift considering his birthday that was over not too long ago was "enhanced" by the iPad 2.

We went shopping for watches because I had wanted the big ass Tag Hauer's Aquaracer.

Meanwhile, I was tempted by this awesome watch - Cartier Tank Francaise.

The temptation didn't stop there. Over at Hour Glass in Ngee Ann City, I was torn between 2 incredible looking Rolexes. One of those evergreen brands which I have never expected myself to be caught wearing one.

While I was caught with the dilemma, he asked me one question that made me dropped the idea of buying an expensive watch completely. Essentially, if I had gotten any of the Rolexes, I can forget about "The Ring" because it ain't gonna happen. It didn't take too long and I went... Diamond!

So I came to a conclusion - For the coming Christmas and my coming 31st birthday, I will be happy with a 60D. Almost without any hesitation, he told me he will be getting me one. That very weekend, we went camera shopping and I walked out of Parisilk with a smile that stretched from end to end of my face while he holds on to the bag containing my latest love and it's mate, the 18-200mm.

Since the 18-200mm is more for my travels and walk about, I needed to have something that satisfies the portraits-shooting me. He drove me straight to Funan and the next thing I knew, I was lost in the g'zillion shops there. I knew this is a gift that would empty my very own pockets as well. Apart from the usual screen protector, blower, I actually walked away from TK Photo with a Canon 50mm F1.4. Many would think I'm crazy to head straight to the F1.4 and not work from the F1.8 first but I'm a girl who knows what I want.

Now, don't hide away from me whenever I point my camera at you!

Christmas Exchange Game for Recruitment Consultants

My email to the rest of the office and yes, it's an all girls office...

*Those words in italics are replaced as the original email contains intimate information.

Hello all you beautiful ladies,

It’s the end of the year and we’re gonna have some fun… As the self-nominated chief entertainment officer for whatever that is left of 2011, we will be having the Company Gift Exchange Extravaganza!

The Job Description as follows:
• Each of you will equip yourself with 2 gifts with value ranging from S$9.99-S$14.99 each.
• The gifts cannot be the following:
o From The Body Shop
o Soft Toys
o Edible
• You must bring it in on the 22nd Dec 2011 (Thursday) and place it under (or around) the grand Company Christmas Tree.

The official start date is on 23rd Dec 2011 (Friday) at lunchtime 12.30pm – 1pm (just in case you’re on the phone with any client/candidate at 12.30pm)

The Company “Offer” Exchange
o You will pick a number from a bowl. The number will be reflected on a gift.
o Our special girl, AJD will pick the first gift, opens it and shows it to the rest of you demanding consultants.
o Then the fun begins…
o AJD will have the honour of picking out the next person who will be choosing the gift from the pile. This person can 1. Choose to negotiate your package and swop your “offer” OR 2. Keep your “offer” and open it
o The game continues where “candidates” can pick their “offer” and exchange it with their potential client for a new “offer”.
o The game continues in this fashion through until all “offers” are offered and accepted.

Rules of Engagement
o A gift cannot be immediately stolen back from the guest who just stole it.
o A gift can only be stolen twice. The third guest to own the gift gets to keep it.
o All gifts that are eligible to be stolen must be in sight at all times.
o After the last wrapped gift is opened and kept, then AJD has the last turn. She can decide to keep their gift or trade it for an eligible gift (one that has not been stolen twice) and the game is over.

Please try to participate and I promise it will be fun.

Best consultant… I mean regards,
Snugloft

Home Acquisition

Perhaps it's part of getting older, I'm feeling more inertia to post details of my life and to share it with absolute strangers. But at the same time, it's all useless if I decide to limit access. That's what blogs are for... So...

In an effort to record the journey of our home ownership...

Some time in May this year, we participated in the balloting of a development. And given the crappy luck that we both have at ironically named lucky draws, we thought we were never gonna get what we want so we plotted out our 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th choices etc. While having taken time away from work, I was in the midst of closing a transaction so my inbox needed my undivided attention.

The ballot started with a total of 3 VIPs, drawing 5 numbers each. I wasn't quite bothered because I was working on my laptop and considering my luck, it wasn't gonna happen soon anyway. The first VIP started drawing the numbers and they weren't even close to our number. We saw ecstatic future homeowners of this development whose enthusiasm we couldn't relate.

When the second VIP went up, she decided to shake the box of ballot tickets. Softly, I nudged Watziznehm to stop all the Facebooking and I was all prepared to shut my laptop. As I was shifting focus from my laptop to my Blackberry, I heard a familiar number being called out. It didn't quite register that my number could actually be called out. So I turned to my better half and asked in disbelief, "is that our number?" Together, we decided to uncover the truth by stomping to the front and checking out if we indeed brought Lady Luck with us that morning. As it turned out, she was there when we needed her the most. And hey, that just meant that we could pick almost ANY unit in that development. While being overwhelmed by the choices, we needed to make a practical choice. Watziznehm really wanted the penthouse unit but I wasn't too keen on the idea. I love the higher ceiling and the space and given the 10% premuim, it was still affordable and a darn good deal. But we knew it wasn't a practical choice because as bare top floor would mean alot more work required and that the house itself would be alot warmer from the evening sun. And if I'm to go on regarding the maintenance and cleaning up, you will hear no end from me although I doubt I'll be the one cleaning up the place. Clearly, having a green, cool chillout spot would be great. But we needed a sound decision quickly so...

We settled for the 4 bedroom unit that is just below the penthouse unit. At a grand total of 1335 sqft, we will have the VAST space that Watziznehm needed and for any future needs. Ok, it's not huge but considering the size of the houses now, I'm more than thankful. For now, my brain is lost in the abyst of having a WALK IN WARDROBE that is the size of a full bedroom. Location wise, this isn't the best spot but given our currently financial status, this is a fantastic compromise.

Option completed in May/June and we're now proud owners of this house!

Tentatively,

Bedroom 2 will be converted to be part of the Master bedroom, encompassing the WIW.
Bedroom 3 is our junior master bedroom that will be kept for future use and before the actual use for the room comes into play, it will be the mahjong room.
Bedroom 4 will be the study for him.

The HUGE balcony will be the designated oxygen spot. Standing on such high floor, the air has gotta be decent.

I have some concerns regarding the space constraints within linen room/dining room and unlike a flat, we can't possibly hang the clothes out.

But well, that's something to worry in 2014. Now, I'll just bask in the shiokness of anticipation and I'd better start making some decent money to pimp up the place when it's being delivered.

Arren Quek, you rock!

SEA Games Singapore hauls 4 more gold from pool - Channel NewsAsia

To me, you're the cute little nephew who never fails to make me laugh.

To swimming, you're a true contributor with your body and soul.

To Singapore, you're a hero and a star.

I am so proud of you as an aunt, a spectator and a true Singaporean. We love you!

Lao Ban Soya Beancurd @ Old Airport Road Food Centre

I rarely write food reviews but here's one...

After an incredibly satisfying dinner at Akashabu @ Kallang Leisure Dome, we proceeded to Old Airport Road Food Centre to pack food for BluePotatoes' parents. When we got there, I remembered someone mentioned some famous beancurd there but we didn't know which one it was. Then I saw a lady with 10 boxes of this Lao Ban Soya Beancurd and then I saw bags and bags of them carried by everyone around me. I was thinking, "it's gotta be quite good then..."

The queue was not very long with about 4-5 people before us and we got the loot quite easily. Within the queue, there were these teenagers (years of faint memory to me...) and you would bet your last dollar that they will not allow themselves to suffer to eat bad food, let alone queue for it.

If you're looking for HOT tau huey, you've come to the wrong place. It's all cold and after eating it, I knew why.

The Taste


Texture was awesome, really smooth but to be fair, there are some tao huey that are even softer and smoother as I slide my spoon in. The moment the tao huey went into my mouth, I was thrown off. It tasted so rich in soya bean milk, almost like I'm drinking from a box of Vitasoy. It wasn't too sweet. The surprise is in the state of the tao huey. It was jelly/pudding-like with that familiar hardened top look from any dessert with gelatin in it. But the very moment the blob of tao huey settles in your mouth, it disintegrates into soya bean milk instead. I needed to eat mouthful after mouthful of tao huey to just be able to vaguely describe the feeling. It was a rather pleasant experience.

However, it was not something I want to particularly shout about. I would recommend anyone to try it if they are at Old Airport Road for dinner but personally, I wouldn't go out of the way to get it. I'm also being unfair as I have special preference for hot hot tao huey.

I would say... Give it a try, you'll never know if you might fall in love with it.

Location: Picture taken from Google Maps

Financial Planning

I'm not selling you insurance so there's no need to runaway or close this window immediately like you have seen an apparition. I have, however, bought some for myself considering that I have dropped all of them when I lost my job a while ago. Now that everything is starting to fall in place, it's time to safeguard my own interest and of those who are dear to me. It is through bad planning of those who are extremely close to me that made me see the importance of it. At this point in time, I probably can't afford much and neither do I think it will be sufficient for my retirement but some planning is better than none. And with this, I have a little more control over my expenditure which has proved to be haywire.

As of now, I am the "insurance" to some people and I don't want to burden my children (if I even decide to have any) this way. In a place like Singapore, we're probably more afraid to be a financial burden to our dear ones than facing impending death.

The actual disappointment is beyond what words can describe but I can only say, I have never felt so upset before in my life. The pain is very acute and real. The saving grace is having Blue Potato with me, being the sound mind, injecting the rational sense into me.

2 more months to prove my worth... March On!

The Journey of Losing Some Wisdom

Guess I've been away for too long but I've been kept happy by work albeit rather busy. Nothing much has happened to me apart from a "major" surgery.

A couple of weeks back, I felt this excruciating ache at the back of my right cheek. The pain was familiar because it reminded me of my wisdom tooth. A trip to the dentist affirmed the lingering suspicion and this time round, my bottom wisdom tooth was impacted and made worse by the overgrown wisdom tooth growing out from the top. Inflammation was slowly eating its way into my threshold for pain. A dental surgeon was summoned due to the position of the tooth that was pressing precariously on the nerves, which I was warned as a matter of formality, that surgery might cause some form of permanent numbness on my lips. I pressed ahead and got myself on the schedule of the dental surgeon.

The dental surgeon isn't my usual dentist so I'm terribly unfamiliar with this character. As it turns out, he wasn't as gentle as my dentist. All the yanking, drilling and pulling in a normal dental surgery was amplified by the raw sense of unfamiliarity. Before the anesthetic jab did its job, the surgeon started tugging and I was put on the edge of cliff faint.

Within the longest 10 minutes of my life, I walked out of the operating theatre with the look of a miserable chipmunk. As Blue Potato was unable to take time off work, I made my way back feeling numb. Fortunately, Synflex knocked me out the entire afternoon. But the very moment I woke up, I could feel the pain slowly creeping in. Sitting in the living room all by myself while waiting for my liquid dinner to make its way to me, a rush of emotional engulfed me. I started crying and thinking to myself that I wish my Mom was there so that she could cook me a pot of yummy congee. It's been a long while since I felt so vulnerable. The last time was when I was in thousands of miles away in Shanghai and I was down with food poisoning.

The next couple of days became the best opportunity to catch up on my beauty sleep, knocking myself out with every fresh dose of painkillers. Work haunted me in sporadic bursts during the little pockets of time that I was actually awake or coherent. By Day 03, I was dying to be back in the office. Under the illusion that I was well, I hobbled my way into work the next day. Terrible mistake as the recovery wasn't as smooth as I assumed it to be. Paralysed by nagging pain, I could only be in the office a little more than half a day.

A week after the surgery, my pain did not subside and if anything, it became worse. I was hugging my right cheek as I tried my best to concentrate on the exciting Singapore F1 race shown on TV. The pain warranted an early night but pain isn't exactly sleep's best friend. The constant moaning of horny cats in the neighbourhood only frustrates a very sleepy me further. It doesn't take a genius to guess the next work day had to end early. Returning to the dentist was imperative. A quick inspection by the dentist concludes that I'm suffering from bone infection which is affecting the recovery process. Stitches will not come off until another round of antibiotics is completed and provided the swelling has gone down. So that's another week of suffering ahead of me. Meanwhile, I can only try to hit the sack early tonight and pray hard that the cats were exhausted from their vigorous activities last night.

Some Etiquettes to Note

Taken from AsiaOne.

GOSSIP is normally viral in an office elevator, so be sensitive and careful.

These are simple rules to follow. Some may laugh and relate to them, others may find them useless, but bear in mind that when other people are using the same services, it is very important to be considerate of others. After all, that is what etiquette is all about—making others comfortable.

1. Let everyone out of the elevator before you enter. In office buildings, I see people scampering for the elevator without letting those already inside come out first. Wait for them to get out—not only is this the polite thing to do; it is also the safe thing.

2. Try to fall in line. This may be a truly idealistic request. On a recent trip to Japan, I was so happy to see people falling in line to enter the elevator. Correctly so, if you were there first, you should be the first to get in. Pushing and shoving are regular occurrences in busy office buildings and yes, even hospitals.

If building administrators can implement this, things would go much smoother. The line is formed on the right side facing the elevator so that the left side is free to allow those inside the elevator to step out.

3. Enter towards the back of the elevator, allow the others to enter, then press the floor. People tend to crowd around the console when they enter elevators. You can simply ask the person nearest the console to press the desired floor.

4. If the person behind you is about to exit the elevator, move out, hold the door open and allow the person out. Usually there is this person in the back who cannot even step out because people do not move, much less allow the person behind to get out.

5. As much as possible, keep the conversation to a minimum. There are other people in the elevator with you, so keep the conversations down. Gossip is normally viral in an office elevator, so be sensitive to this.

6. Do not sneeze or cough in this very contained environment.

7. If you are going up or down just one floor, try to take the stairs if possible.

8. Gentlemen, where are you? Have the days of gentlemanly behavior passed? Hold the door open and let the ladies in or out of the elevator. I actually saw a man shove past a girl just to get out of the elevator. Remember, each action is always a reflection of who you are.


Escalators

1. Children should be kept away from escalators. This is not a play area, yet in malls you see kids playing around the escalator area, either trying to go up downward escalators or playing with moving handles.

2. When riding the escalator, allow the person in front of you to step onto the escalator first. This sounds amusing, but I have been pushed from behind so many times because I admittedly get on an escalator rather slowly. Still, this does not give people license to push you from behind. Cutting someone who is about to go on an escalator is not only rude, but also very dangerous.

3. Stay on the right hand side. This is to give space to people who wish to climb up or down. The same goes for walkalators in airports. Stay on the right side so people can walk on the left hand side. Although in some countries it is the opposite, just bear that in mind.

4. If you are on the escalator with a friend or friends, do not congregate at the foot or at the entry point of the escalators. This happens a lot in malls, where people wait for family members and friends to get off at the foot of the escalator, leaving the others with no place to move forward.

Cooling Off

It's been overhyped with anger and discontentment. I have to admit I've been in those emotions. I felt the need to have my voice heard and for someone to represent my needs. I looked back and I saw stability. I make mistakes, everybody does. We need to learn to look at the bigger picture. Vote wisely and do not be blinded by your anger.

It is very disappointing to see educated lot of people go bashing without a reason. If you genuinely believe something, and someone has shown their capability to materialise it, by all means, cast your voice in this democracy.

I need to ensure my future and those of my children are secured and stable. We need leaders who empathise and more importantly, they need to be sound. How many out there are sound?

I fear for the worst. While we need majority to become a smaller majority, we cannot let the majority become the minority. I cannot have someone who wants to throw billions of our reserves into relocating the manufacturing sector. Do you know how many people will lose their jobs? Why do we need 60bln to remove thousands of jobs from Singapore? Somethings are easier said than done. To transform an economy doesn't happen overnight and it has slowly morphed over the past few years. Give it some confidence and another few good years and I believe we will get there.

I'm not one of those all time supporter of any particular party. We vote for what we believe in and in what we need. We vote for the person whom we believe will look after our needs.

Political stability is undoubtedly one of the key reasons why many MNCs have moved into Singapore. I need stability in my job, in my company. Don't you?

Mini Voice, Mega Life

Politics is usally avoided at all cost here. Today, I will veer away from the general rule and be brave, standing up for my Pink I/C.

With all the unpleasantries lingering, I need to regain some visual on the whole situation and to try to be as objective as I can. This is not fair to dig out her photos and comment on how she could have been leading her life, be it the swanky birthday dinners or luxurious bags. Coming from girl, I can totally understand that you don't need to be living on your last cent to be a politician and having an extra bag wouldn't make you any less of good one. However, when you are a public figure, "clear the cache" before you "publish" on stage. It is what is seen that will bring in the votes and in this case, not bring in the votes.

For as far as I can remember, MM Lee has always been like a disciplinarian and SM Goh, on the other hand, always comes across as very fatherly. Whether they are actually such a personality, we will not know but it does appear so. No matter how you present yourself, you need to know what effect it has on your supporters. Having a video of someone stomping their feet and with absolutely no clue of what to say, is fast becoming a "household" image. Tin Pei Ling may not be such an immature young lady nor is it fair to think she is unnecessarily extravagent according to her infamous picture with her Kate Spade gift. But all these together has definitely eroded my confidence of her in the coming elections. Did I mention that she's representing a party now? I would at least need someone whom I think is capable of hearing my voice and relaying my needs. I do not need someone who:

- doesn't seem to have strong views on how changes can be made
- have no ideas how or why certain policies should be created or monitored
- doesn't have any concrete plans to better my life
... (there are of course more but I'm sure you can form your own views)

Now, it is all too familiar that the general public aren't very pleased with the high salaries the minsters are drawing. Then comes the argument of paying for talent. If one is willing to serve his nation because of his love for his country, wouldn't using money to "buy" this person be a total insult? And if you're paying for top talent, do we (as taxpayers) think Tin Pei Ling is worth the $15,000/month paycheck she is being swiftly ushered into? Clearly, no.

If putting a young person brings in a younger perspective, there MUST be someone else (OH please do!) worth my consideration. Although she is not contesting in my area, her presence in the party will undoubtedly affect my vote's directly. Will my voice be heard?

鼎泰豐 [Din Tai Fung] in Singapore

When 鼎泰豐 first came to Singapore, I was very disappointed as I held very high standard from the original Nanxiang in Shanghai. However, the variety and the price range kept me going back for satisfying meals. Lunch today was at 鼎泰豐 and the queue was horrible as usual. But they did fulfill the promise of the 15 mins wait unlike Putien (was at Putien over the weekend and they told us the wait was 30 mins but no tables even after an hour) which was utterly disappointly. As you can imagine, the restaurant was packed with people. I will not be talking about the quality of food but the service level at this Raffles City branch of 鼎泰豐.

Service was top notch. Little anecdotes to describe why I'd say so.

1. Orders were correct. Easily taken for granted but trust me, with a full house behind you, it's definitely commendable.

2. I was sharing my seat with my bag and the very moment the waitress saw that, she brought me this "barang holder" container to put my bag in it and not to mention, they also used a clean sheet to cover the top of it to protect your privacy and also to prevent any accidental spills damaging your belongings.

3. The tea cups were never empty and we never needed to ask for service.

4. There's always a waiting staff available to respond to your needs and not merely people who avoid eye contact so they wouldn't need to serve you.

5. Most importantly, throughout my time there, they always serves me with a smile no matter how chaotic the restaurant gets.

Just on the service level alone, which is extremely rare in Singapore nowadays, they will always get my vote (and money of course).

Universal Studios, Singapore

For those of you people who have yet to visit the Universal Studios in Singapore and might be planning a trip there in the near future, let me share my 2 cents worth. According to a disclaimer that I have read somewhere on their website, they may open on different hours on some days but given that Singapore is summer all year round, I'm guessing that if it doesn't rain like the last Saturday that I was there, it will be opened from 10am to 7pm. I would advise that if you're not willing to take the gamble, please buy the tickets online since there is no difference in the pricing. Given the weekend crowd that I experienced, if financially it's not too much of a consideration, do pay for the Universal Express as it will save you hours (of standing, perspiring and lamenting all at the same time) from queuing in the rides. I spent more than half my time there queuing so do be warned.

The architectures in Hollywood/New York were captivating albeit it still looks a little too new. Stars spotting was part of the fun ranging from Frankenstein to Marilyn Monroe but it's more of a hit or miss thing. For one, I didn't manage to catch Po of Kungfu Panda which was a tad disappointing but not enough to ruin my day. "Lights, Camera, Action" by Steven Spielberg in New York was intriguing but definitely not a must watch if you're strapped for time.

While walking past Madagascar where the ride wasn't quite ready yet, we managed to catch some of the stars from Madagascar and even sneaked a shot with Alex the Lion when everyone else were all over the penguins i.e. Skipper & Friends. Parents with young children can bring them on the carousel which we obviously skipped so not much reviews we can achieve here.

It wasn't long before we found ourselves queuing in Far Far Away for our first ride of the day on Enchanted Airways. While queuing, we were kept amused by Puss in Boots entertaining the crowds with its antics. What we didn't know was that Enchanted Airways was really but a junior roller coaster. I suppose for a 10 year old kid, it could have been exhilarating but the ride that lasted for less than a minute was a little close to boring for senior people like us. To be fair, we were silly as to not find out more before we went for the ride AND the other little bits set along the queue line eg. Gingy in the ticketing booth and other interesting signs kept us entertained while we were in the snaking queue. The main not-to-be missed attraction in Far Far Away has got to be the Shrek 4D Adventure. To avoid being a total spoiler, let's just say, the timely hisses, tickles and sprays sent natural screams which made us feel rather silly thereafter. Right after the show, we were "ushered" into watching Donkey Live with the 2 shows one after another. It wasn't as good as the 4D one but the interactive element did squeeze a few good laughs out of us.

If there's one ride you must get on apart from the Battlestar Galactica, it would be the Revenge of the Mummy in Ancient Egypt. For this ride, you will need to store your bags in the locker which you can use almost for free if it's within the duration of the ride (including the queuing time) and for a nominal sum thereafter. There's a good reason why you're not allow to carry your belongings with you! The thrills from the high speed were unforgettable. Robotic Imhotep didn't manage to scare me but I was incredibly impressed by the intricacies of the props.

Now comes the climax of the entire outing - Battlestar Galactica. There are a total of 2 rides, Human (Red) and Cylon (Blue), taking off in tandem. The Red ride is a seated roller coaster with steeper and faster drops whereas the blue ride turns you in succession of loops and cockscrews. The adrenaline rush was enough reason to keep me going back for more! I was a scaredy cat so I went for 1 of the 2, no prizes for making the right guess but I know I will be heading back for more.

For 4 shows a day, the Water World was in business and we caught the last one of the day. Performers were getting some "participation" by getting some spectators all soaked from the pre-show entertainment. To be fair, the seatings were coded by whether you're ready to get a little wet or totally soaked. But if you prefer to stay dry, there were colour coded seats to prepare you for what you can expect. You were warned! Queues started as early as 30 minutes before the show so if you haven't got the universal express, good luck!

And since we were already wet, it didn't take much for us to head directly back to The Lost World for The Rapids Adventure. We were there earlier for the Canopy Flyer. We thought it was interesting as we heard screams hovering everywhere above us when we were having lunch at the "hotdog place" which obviously wasn't memorable. It was a pleasant ride but a tad too short. Before you know it, you're at the end of the ride. I was wondering almost aloud, "is that it?" The Rapids Adventure however shouldn't be on your list of must-do or in fact can-do if you can get sick from motion. It's like tea-cups but random and with absolutely zero control. I tried very hard to focus on points along the way so that I wouldn't throw up. Towards the last leg of the attraction when the raft came to a halt, I was fortunately well-placed to see a ray of light coming from metres below us whereas my fellow passengers were left wondering... "Hmmm... Why the pause?" Before we knew it, we heard a really loud splash.

Food wise, prices were acceptable but definitely on the high side. If the alternatively is to lug water, I'd gladly pay $3 for a bottled drink. The only full meal I had was at Goldilocks which reminds me a cross between Marrybrown and Popeyes. Just alot more herbs (read: MSG) and a little less yummy. I will not complain on the quality of food because it's a little better than mere acceptable but the waiting time was horrible. It was about 4pm, restaurant wasn't full but I waited for at least 30 mins (probably close to 45 mins) for 2 pieces of chicken. This took time out from my limited time for queuing up for the rides and now even to have a meal, I have to queue the same amount of time just to be fed! Totally ridiculous!

If you have been or are planning to go to the Universal Studios in Singapore, do let me know what else I should really look out for during my next trip there. Enjoy!

Japan Earthquake & Tsunami 2011

When we first heard of the earthquake, many things went through my mind, including "maybe it's not that serious and people will come round this soon". With the progression of the blasts at the nuclear plants and news of "insufficient body bags around", this is getting worrying although I have heard that the Japanese people are very calm and are taking this in stride. Their unity in building up their nation at a pleasantly alarming rate got my fist clenched up and you may have heard me cheering on if you're within a mile. We know their road to recovery would be much easier and faster than any other economy but even then, my heart goes out to those who have lost their loved ones in the episode. The stoic Japanese with their calmness handling this turmoil gained my utmost respect.

For people around me, I haven't been specifically advocating nuclear energy but before you start ranting on, please read this article taken from Reuters. Of the entire article, I would like you to pay special attention to this part of the article:


Atomic power causes significantly less harm than fossil fuel.
In 2010, 11 people were killed in the Deepwater Horizon oil drilling explosion while 29 people died in a coal mine in West Virginia. Nothing so bad has ever happened at an atomic power plant in the United States or European Union. Annually, coal mining and oil refining accidents kill several hundred people: annual worker deaths at atomic power plants, and in uranium mining, are much lower. Fossil fuel generates greenhouse gases that are causing climate change: atomic power production is just shy of zero-emission for greenhouse gases. Smog from coal burning in the developing world causes respiratory diseases and tens of thousands of premature deaths each year: no similar problem is associated with atomic power.

This morning, Reuters said the Fukushima situation is “the world’s most serious nuclear accident since the Chernobyl meltdown in Ukraine in 1986”. That statement surely is true, but think what it means — a quarter century of atomic power did no harm at all, and now the major problem in Japan may be resolved with only minor public harm. In the same 25 years, oil and coal use worldwide have killed many thousands of people while triggering global warming.


I do admit that this disaster could be prevented if more care have been taken during the construction of the plant. But do not deny that nuclear energy is much cleaner than other forms of energy given the current technology to extract reasonable amount of energy. If we can commercially utilise solar energy without manufacturing solar panels which are actually harmful to the environment and be all over our heads just to light up a room, I will support it fully with all of my means.

My message across if to urge all of you people not to be narrow minded and judgemental before you know the entire story or if you're not an expert in a certain area. Of course, you will have the right to your own opinion (Read: The ignorant Chinese citizens who thinks this entire earthquake is karma for the Japanese for the atrocities the Japanese have done during the WWII) but please, every life is innocent until the day that specific being have killed or destroyed someone who meant anything to you. And if you truly believe in karma, your words will hit you one day. What irony!

My heart goes out to those who are in distress (and not despair) over the Japanese earthquake and tsunami. Lastly, please go your part and donate what you can. Please click here or the World Vision logo on the right and do what your part as a world citizen.

Up The Valley

I've been meaning to post on so many issues ranging from my latest trip to Hong Kong to the property shopping recently but there's this inertia holding me back which I'm blaming stress from work. Having said that, I've never been happier. That could also be the reason why I don't find it imperative to offload via the blog anymore.

Working with a bunch of helpful people which includes my boss made money making alot easier. It's only the beginning but the pressure is on. The pressure I've created by myself, for myself. All the exercises on viewing properties are playing its part edging me on to build my career which has faced its fair share of peaks and valleys over the past few years. I'm more than ready to put the moves behind me.

Lesson #1 - Keep walking and not let small setbacks tie me down.

Lesson #2 - Be focused.

Meanwhile, just to share a quote from Good Will Hunting "The bad things in life open your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before."

The Time Machine

After several years of going my own way, learning about the world the hard of real way, I'm back to the melting pot. You might think it would be seeing the same people again in the same environment, different setting. Fortunately for me, none of the discomfort and I felt right at home. I would describe it as taking the time machine and place me right where I should have been. The same wordplay, the same corniness, the same hard work, the same simplicity of happiness. Now the pressure is on to build and bill. The laughters will make it easier...

It is REAL!

Began my year with a trip to Hong Kong and back and before I could close my eyes, the bells for the big three zero rang before my eyes. No big celebrations were lined up. Just an over-priced dinner with the one person whom I'm totally comfortable with in my life. Simple cake cutting with people who are now family. The biggest surprise were the flowers from an extremely sweet boyfriend whom I've always categorised for being unromantic (Not that I have in any way risen him from those ranks though).

Do I feel older?

Staring into the mirror, looking at the lines around my eyes, I can't help feeling older. I wish I could turn the clock but I also know that if I could try to age more graciously, I will stay beautiful right inside. The key things for me in the new decade is to be able to establish myself in my field of work and at the same time, juggle some heavy family responsibilities. Trying not to be too ambitious, doing what is potentially beyond my means, I didn't dare plan too far ahead. The general blueprint of life is definitely present, waiting for interesting anecdotes in life to give it what it means to be my life.

People come and go. Friends fall in and out of the definition. But true relationships are closer to heart and there's no need to quantity. Just quality...

Dazzling Big 30 Gift To Myself

It's been years that I've always yearned for a beautiful smile. A chipped tooth and another badly decayed has kept that sparkle at bay. Before this were years of discussions with my dentist and the only issue that has kept me from pursuing the smile was the bank account. Having gone through the braces with little success, the crown was inevitable. I could have just filled it up nicely but that's not going to change the lousy orientation of the teeth.

Running the risk of emptying the bank account after months of hard work, topped with sufficient courage, I told my dentist one day that he can finally go ahead to better the aesthetics. In order to alter the orientation, the veneer was out so the only option was a crown. About a week ago, the dentist shaved off my 4 front teeth. Seeing my reflection on the little LCD screen, I thought I looked horrendous. However, regret was a little late. Now I have got 4 temporary cap over the shaved tooth, giving me an awkward smile over the entire Christmas period. I am now extremely looking forward to next week when my crown would be officially on. Practising the new smile will keep me busy during my Hong Kong trip in January.

Next on, the lasik. Time to beef up the bank account again...

This Christmas

Departing from the previous years of drinking, maybe it's part of aging, the fun is completely different. Some little things have warmed me like never before. Things are beginning to look different and I'm quite confident that the coming year would be better. In a nutshell, I didn't spend the entire Christmas Day nursing a hangover.

Bidding farewell to the place I called second home for the past months, I am forced to take a month off work and rest. Considering it's very much a festive month, this break was welcomed with open arms. I was kept busy running errands and being the man's chauffeur. Simple day usually ending with simple dinners and excessive time on the iPhone.

The plan for my big 30 gift hasn't quite gone down the drain. Working within necessary budget, no extravagent trips were planned but instead, it was one giving me a dazzling smile. More to come in my next post.

2 days in a row, dinners with friends and family kept me running around. Friends and family who weren't mine until some months ago. I was overwhelmed by warmth and contentment. Of all the pursuits in life, isn't this all what we have ever wanted. A smile at the end of the day...

Regular Musings, Not So Regular Lifestyle

My life is far busier when I'm not working, believe it or not. My schedule (Yes, i do have one enough though I'm on garden leave) is filled with facials, manicures, haircuts which are all long overdue. Waking up early isn't an option as I would need to send the man to work just so I can use the car for the rest of the day. Afternoon naps are possible only IF I'm home at that time. More often, I'll be out buying or doing some stuffs. This only means the bank account is depreciating on a higher rate than a normal work day.

The change was unexpected, almost a surprise to many people and even to myself. It was a change that I know I'd be happy or at the very least, the one last change you would expect to happen until the next World War. The familiar faces and voices will probably ease the day to day drag and for that matter, no more drag. And for prepare for the new start, I needed a gift for myself. Well, that's just an excuse.

My big 3-0 is just round the corner and and my plans for a big Safari trip is looking bleak. Hence, the decision to dump some months' effort into changing the look of my 4 front teeth is underway. More details will be up by next week. I will get through Christmas with some ugly replacement and hopefully, by my birthday, the smile will look entirely different. Can't wait...

My Vision, World Vision

As some of you may know that I have my adopted charity. What happens is that I do not make random donation but instead, I will channel my funds to either sponsoring children in less fortunate places and to make a year end Christmas donation. My adopted charity is the World Vision and on an annual basis near to Christmas, I will receive this brochure for a one time donation. Such gifts are really special and interesting. A couple of examples that you can donate (cost in brackets):

- Blanket to be send to Myanmar ($12)
- Goat or sheep for orphans in Ethiopia ($94/$155)
- 2 peach trees + 3 apple trees for the people in Lesotho ($11)

At different price ranges, you can donate what you can afford. A little goes a long way and to be absolutely honestly, the extra $50 more a month is not even going to be pinching you but it helps to build a community behind the beautiful faces of the under-privileged children.

Do what you can. Simply click on the World Vision banner on your right.

Zapatos-mania

Ever since I started to indulge in the better things in life, my passion has revolved around cars and girly stuffs like bags and shoes. The ownership of a car took me away from the more feminine side over the past few years. As much as the petrolhead in me continues to live, part of my self fulfillment now lies in the purchasing of bags and shoes.

When it comes to bags, I tend to be a tad more conservative because my taste in bags tend to be a little exquisite. To counter the problem, my investments never tailed too far from classic and "amortisable" purchases. The rational mind will have their conversations and logic always prevail. It can be seen from my daily recycling habits of my bags. At some point in time, I would love to have a slightly more varied wardrobe of bags but before that day arrives, I will stick to my staples.

What retail therapy means to me apart from doing insane online shopping on Victoria's Secret and ASOS, would be my regular visits to Alegra. Alegra is jointly run by 2 ladies with incredible taste for shoes. At times they do some nice knockoffs which are slight variations from the runway. The designs are more practical and definitely wearable. If comfort is one of your worries, you can rest assured that although I indulged in killer heels and I do admit that they are not the most comfortable creatures in the world, the shoes that Alegra carries is definitely more comfortable than other shoes in the same price range. Over the past few months, I have bought more than enough shoes than what the excuse "I need this shoe to match this dress" can justify. On a day to day basis, I switch between about 10 pairs of shoes left in the office for convenience sake. The stamp card that Alegra gave me is now almost full and that means I can buy another 3 pairs at 20% discount. But according to Blue Potato, I do not need or should not need to buy any more shoes until the end of the this year. I don't disagree but I have to really peel myself away from Alegra whenever I walk past. Thankfully, the stuffs that really appeal to me are not normally on display. The best items are always hidden and tucked away in the store. Apart from Alegra, I have always bought countless pairs from Vincci whenever we have a drive trip to Malaysia.

Recently, Ferragamo was having this delicious sale but I have successfully convinced myself that the money could be spent more wisely. Considering that I have found a new "target", I should not just squander the littler-er money away and make myself feel miserable when I can't afford the more big ticket item.

Talking about big ticket, my teeth needs some fixing and I will have to decide in a week's time if I want to complete the project which I've always wanted to embark on.

The Adventures of The Misadventures

Getting my wallet nicked at Platinum Mall wasn't the most pleasant experience. It was a girls' trip together with 7 others from the office. Great food and endless shopping marked most of the trip. However, just several hours into the shopping, I ran out of all money and it wasn't because I spent it all. Having seen the others in despair and reporting their losses, it was a funny sense of relief that I wasn't the only one. The floods in the country have brought the poor up into the city seeking money and definitely not the most of the legal ways. Fortunately for me, I have got friends who could financially help my through the rest of the shopping frenzy and someone at home who efficiently assisted me with cancelling the cards. The trip to the local police station was at adventure in itself. While trying my best to be understood so as to get my statement taken, I was wondering if I'm ever gonna get the massage that I was anticipating.

The trip ended with much regrets, not having the foods I was craving for and insufficient shopping that I had hoped I completed. It was still a trip I will always remember not because of the misadventure, but the company that kept me going. So looking forward to the next one. This time, I'll strap the money close to me with masking tape.

The Wisdom of the Blue Potato

People are not to blamed if they are not born as intelligent as others. But it's the realisation of such inadequacy that can help you to be a better person in life. The hilarious part is when you're found to be a conniving person, instead of just losing trust, you will eventually become a joke.

I tend to be blinded with anger when some people try to get to me. The agenda is unknown or rather, it's not within a reasonable person's call to action for the most trivial of things. I ignore them till they blow it in my face. Leaving a conversation, looking like a beetroot and swallowing the flames wasn't the most easy of all decisions. But the Lord works in mysterious ways. He allowed me to see the bigger picture from a bigger person. He has blessed me with wisdom by giving me a hand to hold for life to guide me through the darkest of all roads.

Looking back, the people who calls themselves your friends, yet stabbing you beyond your sight, can enjoy each other's companionship as they grow old because with such narrow hearts, you will never be able to find space in the heart to accommodate someone else in order to love them beyond the way you love yourself.

Sitting here at Mcdonald's, looking at the Monopoly tab, it dawned on me that life is always about finding the Sentosa Cove tab because you're holding to the Marina Bay one. And so what if you had won the $80,000. It's being able to hold on to the wealth and let it blossom into something greater that really gives the prize winning some meaning. I may not have won the McDonald's prize but I found something even better.

Disconnect to Connect

When I found myself having issues with Blue Potato for using his phone over dinner, I forgot to check out the reflection on the mirror. During a recent conversation, we recalled on how I was t'apping' away on my iPhone and I felt really guilty for being a social failure. Soon after, I forgot how the phone disconnects us from life.

Just about a year ago, I was posting proudly on how much of a Crackberry I was. It is not that I was unaware that human relationships eventually relies on communication, the non-electronic sort. I was unknowingly sucked into the whole "the game is so interesting" or "I so need to twit about this" moment and I didn't care about the other diners on the table nor the rest of the people in the conversation. I was in my world.

Blue Potato showed me this video to prove a point and it was home run. Guilt has overwhelmed me but his patience was too warm to ignore. The understanding that I received was pure bliss.

Farewell Ascocendas

I won't pretend to say I know alot about the woman who has always been the one right behind the man who made a difference to my life and my habitat. But in my memories will be a woman who stood by her husband through thick and thin, in sickness and in health, with unprecedented poise and of Asian beauty. She will continue to live in my heart as a role model for the rest of my life. The basic lesson of simple contentment that will bring us round the ups and downs. Rest in eternal peace, Mdm Kwa Geok Choo.

F1 Fever

This is the 3rd year that Singapore is hosting the race and I've yet to go for any of them. As many of you may know, I'm pretty much a petrol head but the fever just hasn't hit me. To be honest, I'd love to go for the races but I simply cannot justify paying for the tickets and still squeezing my way in there. By any chance, if I get offer a corporate suite at a reasonable price, I might actually consider. Having said that, I'd gladly watch the race in the comfort of my couch.

The inconvenience of the race has surfaced too many times to not talk about it. Going to and coming home from work becomes a chore. Having offsite meetings became insane. All because I work right in the middle of Central Business District where the race is being held. The road closures made me wonder what do I actually benefit from having the races in Singapore when on the other spectrum, it made my life so much worse. Although I know the benefits will not be so immediately visible or for that matter, tangible in any form, I'm still not paying any less in terms of taxes.

As a Singaporean, we have always thought that if we could provide a world class race (very much like a world class Olympic event), then we could get much publicity that way. But NO, we are often criticised for not having a great track which I do admit, it's absolutely true. The road conditions are horrible and when you see the machines bottoming up, you wonder aloud, "what an embarrassment!" Of all the taxes I've paid and the inconvenience that the race has given me, I'm still so far from providing one of the most impressive tracks the F1 has to offer. If there's any saving grace, the backdrop of the unique Singapore city night race is amazing.

It's exciting to get visitors coming to town and think that this small dot is more that just a blemish on the map. The impression that are telecasted across the globe only gives potential visitors an excellent image. It is still possible to retain the positive but someone has to work on the negatives to make Singapore the place that we've always been proud to call home. And please, no smart alec scholars who knows nuts about F1 races. We can only wish for an amazing someone to correct the situation. Fingers all crossed, let's watch out for next year.

Goodbye Kokoro

Guess it is about time.

When I first decided to get Kokoro, it as my personal mark of achievement that I can and I will, which I did. It's been a little more than 2 years and over the past 43000km, that little machine has served me well. Despite all the time that it was in VCS to get the piston rings, mechatronics, manifold and whatever not it needs to make it feel good again, it has never failed me. Especially these couple of months after all the major changes, it hasn't even coughed a little. Till today, even merely looking at it makes me feel good about myself. Through turbulent times, keeping up with the upkeeping was draining.

The project began with the major transformation to look like the way when it first arrived. The process is still ongoing and by the next week, it's ready to be adopted for good. The love may be lost but the pressure will be off. A wise decision considering the situation. Time to let go of the love of your life when you know you're ready for the next stage.

This pain will be temporal.

A Fit

Not the spasm sort but relating to people who makes you feel entirely comfortable around them. When this comfort extends from a person to the entire social circle of this person, it almost feels like a jigsaw fit. Mind you that in life, jigsaw fits will always have the impressions and the lines. The picture will not be perfect but you'd take it for the way it is because you paid for a jigsaw and have accepted the very way it came in. To even complete the jigsaw puzzle should be a feat in itself.

In most young minds, the thought is always the search for the high definition picture. But it occurred to me that the senior folks are very much satisfied with their pixelated screens as long as they carry the right message. In both views, different messages from a very same pictures are conveyed depending on their respective recipients. At the age straddling both bands, the expectations are better managed and not compromised. In search of very different objectives, the starting line will differ.

People come and go in our complicated lives and at various points of the timeline, the same footprints will inevitably cross our paths. The rest of how the history should be written depends on how we write them. Keeping the objectives clear will very likely steer us in the direction of the eventual goal. Having the blinkers on and the sight focused, the end point is never too far away. Yet again, these all boils down to perspective and managing expectations. The noise beyond these, should be ignored and erased. Interference will only slow down the race, albeit the race at walking speed.

Expecting The Supposedly Expected

Expectations often disappoints because with the anticipation, we tend to feel loss but if it had never happened with no expectations, life would be filled with more smiles. Simply said than done, it's extremely tough to ignore the emotions. As B put it, we are people who tend to think too much and more often, it's not very healthy. When the thoughts revolve the brains, the mental energy gets zapped so quickly that we don't normally know how the term "mental exhaustion" came about because we only feel it when it's too late.

Exploration is yet another stage that prevents you to move ahead.If we are always in the exploratory stage, how can we even find the right time to harvest the crops. The song I last posted was titled 對的人 which means The Right Person. The lyrics moved me and encouraged me to be that but more patience. But when pushed too far, even with excessive patience, we can run out of it. If life is a waiting game, I've played too much of it and I become a slave to this game without realising it.

愛要耐心等待　仔細尋找　感覺很重要
寧可空白了手　等候一次　真心的擁抱
我相信在這個世界上　一定會遇到
對的人出現 在眼角

對的人

How do people know if they have found the right person? So what if the person fits like a jigsaw? According to Sod's, which my life seems to be closely adhered to, nothing seems to be smooth sailing. It's not as simple as the person whom I love doesn't reciprocate and the person whom I'm uninterested in, likes me. It's the nitty gritties that guides a relationship, be it the friendship, the dating process, the life planning, the marriage, health, death and to some, the divorce. The part whereby people take things for granted, the feelings of people who are affected by our very own actions. The anticipation of the good and the bad. The ultimate unknown and the not knowing the ultimate.

Patience will then play its role for one to hold their fort. Friends are always teasing me about the "Panic Button" but trust me, I am feeling anything but panic. I am very much fine to be alone like this but I know I wouldn't be happy. I can't always be seeking the left shoulder of Black Tulip aka Big Bear because one day, his both shoulders will be required by his Mrs. For now, all I want is to cry into those shoulders before one that I can call my own were to appear one day. I feel like I'm imposing his life. Do not get me wrong and go into the men and women can never have a platonic friendship. I think I know better although I am almost always wrong in judging people. But hey, I do not want to judge so let people prove themselves otherwise. Second lesson in law school, innocent until proven guilty. Do I have to go through the first one again? Alright, justice always belong to the person with deeper pockets.

The coming week is going to be a test on the weak spirits. Hoping with all my might that with prayers, all I have to do is to receive. Receiving before I die of excessive stress that is. Such a weak person... You're thinking of just that, isn't it? Dreading the first step of the week into the office isn't quite helping in bringing the spirits up.

It is important that we can feel... Still...

Arren Quek - My Favourite Athlete for YOG

YOG isn't as celebrated as it should be. It is Olympics but somehow, the hype doesn't quite live up to the importance. I am, however, following very closely for one reason, one athlete. My favourite nephew, whom I'll always remember as the hyperactive kid with a natural hoarse voice, will be representing Singapore in swimming. I can't explain how proud I am of him but I know he's been training very hard, receiving very little support from the same body who would want them to do well, he's THE recipe for success. Being the perfectionist he is (the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree), he will not settle for second best. That said, we wouldn't want to put any stress on him because as it is, qualifying for the YOG is already incredibly impressive.

Join me to cheer for my favourite all Singaporean boy.

Food Prints

Many have asked what I actually look for in a partner. More often, the answer is simply "the ability to hold an intellectual conversation". Even with friends, going home after having a fulfilling conversation may actually surpass the satisfaction from food. In actual fact, to gauge and judge a person's brain power during a conversation is extremely unfair. The point is not having an "airy" conversation and going home feeling stupider than before. It is of great importance that people around you makes you feel better about yourself and yet you learn from them. Such expectations are quickly becoming harsh so we, as forgiving human beings, shelf these. During times when you come out of a casual dinner coupled with a great conversation, the feeling is euphoric. I am not going to attempt explaining further because if you are unable to understand where I'm coming from, then no amount of explanation is going to help you understand. Let me qualify that that doesn't make anyone lesser of a person but it's purely my personal trigger point.

There have been many of these people in my fairly short life and I must say, my life has been enriched and I'm rather fortunate. Personalities like these come and go and have left their footprints. To me, I'll just have to keep looking forward to a less disappointing and non-vanishing pair of feet. The hope of leaving prints of 4 and not merely a spectator to disappearing prints on a sandy beach is fast eluding me. Optimism is what keeps the heart pumping for now.

Count On Me Singapore

Happy Birthday Singapore and to be absolutely honest, without googling, I have no idea which birthday we are celebrating. I'm not going to pretend to be a saint but as you get older, you lose track of the number of candles on the cake, don't you. not really considering I'm hitting the big 3-0 in January. Big plans on the way and for once, one that involves just me and no one else. Maybe by then, I might get myself a travel partner or one who's for life.

In years, this is one of the rare occasion that I'm actually sitting at home, right in front of the telly, watching the live telecast of the National Day Parade. Previous years, I can be found drinking somewhere with some friends while trying to catch glimpses of the parade on the telly that no one's paying much attention to.

Singing along to Majulah Singapura triggered this spurt of patriotism. But what actually is patriotism. Compared to the Kamikaze spirit from the Japanese' Samurai culture, how many out there would actually die for the country when we are finally called for. As the Chinese saying goes, 养兵千日，用在一时。I started to question myself if I would risk my life when the enemies come marching in one day or will I pack my bags and call another country home? Nobody knows until we're put through the test one day. All talk is cheap.

Back to the parade, Singapore National Day Parade Choir 2010 reminded me of the times when I was in school and was forced to attend such activities reluctantly. Now that we're all grown-up, we look back and feel sorry for the kids. Then again, Singaporean kids are so spoilt, they aren't even bothered to fake a smile. The only adjective I can think of while staring at those sad faces is 'unenergetic'. Can I blame them? If I put myself in their shoes, I might don such a face but the educators behind them, should shoulder the responsibility to enforce the understanding of their importance during such a glorious parade. Before I start contradicting myself, being absolutely fair, we are in position to judge these kids. The way they are brought up is entirely different from our time. Now that sentence made me feel old the moment it escaped my fingers.

Still, I can't help feeling proud of the nation because for every man on the parade, there are thousands behind them that hold the same passport and go through hours of discomfort and labour for us who are watching the parade in the comfort of our couch and in my case, my very comfortable bed. Just when I'm fantasizing being in Kit Chan's shoes serenading the crowd with "Home",

As I listen to the beautiful voices, I thought of our very own first Prime Minister, now Minister Mentor "you know who". During those times, we needed the iron fist that ruled without the fatherly smile. Undoubtedly, because of his beliefs and strength, we are what we are today. A small dot on the big map, with a name impossible to ignore. However, my personal favourite for a Prime Minister has got to be Goh Chok Tong. I remembered looking forward to his rallies although at that age, they meant very little to me. Trying my hardest to get his jokes, I chuckle with every bit of the humour I could grasp. I can't simply explain how close I feel to this man but he made me as proud as I am of my old man who did everything within his means to provide me with a better life.

Now, the one scene that disturbed me was a son who didn't not help his aging father to be seated. Before I get charged under the ISA, I'm going to stop my comments. I'm so being watched.

Waffles Woes

Sounds rather bimbotic but I'm on a mission to either hunt down the best tasting waffles in Singapore or to learn to make them. It seems rather simple but how often do you spot a waffle maker in somebody's home? This all began during training at Conrad weeks ago. Buffet was awesome and on the first day, I stuffed myself at the appetisers and mains that I was over the limit when it was dessert time. On the second day, I went straight into the waffles after I was about 30% filled. It was so warm, crispy on the outside and soft on the inside. With just butter and maple syrup, I was whisked to heaven. It's a little crazy to be going for the buffet just to wolf down the waffles but desperation is getting to me. The insanity of a woman's craving.

Come Monday, everything at work will be the same. The only difference is not having our favourite intern around. Jonk who would be completing the rest of her internship in our Tokyo office, was off this morning after organising our last QBash. As usual, there was excessive amounts of alcohol and budget had to be closely adhered to before we bust it like we usually do.

The week was weird. Ran into some people whom you wouldn't want to see just because the week was too hectic and entertaining people isn't preferred at all. The same face that still brings that tear that occasionally roll down the cheek is still the same. The shoulders seemed much heavier but we all know it's a passage of life and part of growing up.

There's finally a glimpse of that light at the end of the tunnel. Although still pressured by the environment, given that the pace is never experienced before, the smile at the end of every struggle seemed to slowly sail me into the next struggle and the next day. I hope all these will pay off. I'm planning for a big present for myself but looking at the way things are going, I don't know if it will happen.

Things Fall Apart As Better Things Can Fall Together

Saw the above statement in TongMama's blog and it touched a very raw part of me. In my insignificant part, it always seem like things are falling apart more than coming together. With friends who helped me along the way to seek the pre-existing contentment, things are alot easier to ride on.

Recently I've been getting the "you're not young anymore" rubbed in my face. I totally understand where they're coming from but that should not be a motivating factor for me to grab just anyone. I am lucky, really. I have people around me who truly cares and in no circumstance am I going to jeopardise the friendship. This is probably the time of my life I should focus my attention of what feeds me and the other mouths that depend on me. It is absolutely not an option to give them a life lacking in reliance and comfort. Even for the love for myself, to be absolutely selfish, dependence is not a trait I can afford to pick up.

Still, I suppose in the most unexpected situations, I should be hitting some jackpot. Maybe not the machine with the most payout but one that will bring me much joy.

Against Odds

With people walking in and out of our lives, and particular for what I have to say today, people out or on their very way out. Maybe it's just the imaginary no entry sign that stopping the show from continuing. To encounter the familiar faces with the strangest feeling of it all, like an ostrich, avoiding seems like the natural way to handle the awkward situation. The thoughts rushed back and wishing only you can turn back the clock and change things. But truth is, it's always against the odds when people have changed their direction and had their eyes focused on a direction away from yourself.

See, I've been watching Scrubs from scratch. The part where Turk proposed and when JD finished making his toast as he watched 2 loving couples kiss on, I actually felt sad for him and subsequently reflected. Just a couple of hours ago, I found out a very good friend of mine whom I could almost qualify as my best friend because if I were to define best friend, I couldn't think of any. Then again, there's Black Tulips. The only one person who has got my back when I needed someone to talk to. In fact, he passed me exactly what I needed - Series after series of Scrubs for me to get past my weekends.

All these while, I've been intentionally drowning myself at work. On one end, I just needed to do it because it's my job, I love it and most of all, it pays bills. On the other, I just didn't have anything else in my life to occupy the time after work or to have any compelling reasons for me to leave the office early. Weekends become empty on the calendar and the desperate need to fill them out. Somehow, sleep is still incredibly lacking.

Something I heard on Scrubs that I really love - "No relationship is perfect. What is important is that you wanna be there even if it sucked." Now, if there's even something worth the while and the time. Maybe I meant, someone instead of something.

At the very least, I know there's any important lesson I have got to learn in this life. That is to pick my battles...

Saying Too Much

When the email informing me of my training came in, I was a little disappointed. I should have expected that I'll be attending training in Singapore as compared to some others in the office as I haven't been amazing. At the back of my mind, I was wondering if given the same platform, would I have performed as well or even better? If the starting point is different, I only have myself to blame for being less than amazing. Logically, especially knowing how these P&L works, I know I'll be the one paying for them eventually but for me, it boiled down to personal achievements and how much of an asset you'd mean to the team and the man in charge.

I think I've broke too much rules since I came into this place. I never blogged about work, nor added colleagues on Facebook. So I'm gonna stuck the f*** up before I get myself into trouble. Just to qualify, I'm not unhappy with others but at my very own performance. I end up questioning myself if there's anything I could have done better. I too wish I can churn money like some of the better known "machines". Self-doubt will not help so constructive advice would be preferred.

I know my well-deserved holiday will come soon, hopefully. Weekends alone are so hard to survive...

Sleepy Battle

Resistance was futile. The warmth revolving above the cheeks persisted. Pain proved to live longer than anger. Images flashed like they would during the last moments of oxygen intake. Personal failure was one of the discussion topics, discussion with the internal soul that is. The song on eternal repeat acts as the satire, sniggering at the plight. The heavy lids were in battle with a heavy mind. Flipping the Mac open for countless times on a sleepless night, singing the song to myself, feeling the warmth which was present only on that small spot. The rest were in shivers.

Wish one can be like a spoilt brat at the supermarket insisting on that lolly that caught the eye. By kicking legs, waving the arms and screaming at top volume just to achieve the likely conclusion. And by remaining the reactive one, with inertia greater than a normal passive mind, inactivity is clearly expected. The rack that I strolled to was empty, stripped of the last pack of snacks that could possibly bring the smile back. If the rain could wash away everything...

Some reaction would be good. But didn't they say be careful of what you wish for? Rather, some genuine concern would be comforting...

Rain rain go away... Little children want to play...

未來我得到的還會有很多， 但失去的，只有你一個

又來到這個港口 沒有原因的拘留
我的心乘著斑駁的輕舟
尋找失落的沙洲

隨 時間的海浪漂流
我用力張開雙手
擁抱那麼多起起落落
想念的還是你望著我的眼波

我不是一定要你回來
只是當又一個人看海
回頭才發現你不在
留下我迂迴的徘徊

我不是一定要你回來
只是當又把回憶翻開
除了你之外的空白
還有誰能來教我愛

又回到這個盡頭 我也想再往前走
只是愈看見海闊天空
愈遺憾沒有你分享我的感動

我不是一定要你回來
只是當又一個人看海
疲憊的身影不是我
不是你想看見的我

我不是一定要你回來
只是當獨自走入人海
除了你之外的依賴
還有誰能叫我勇敢

除了你之外的空白
還有誰能來教我愛

The Most Important Value

When Grandma was alive, she used to sing the "天黑黑" song to me. Dad and Mom never gave up even when there were regular false alarms. We would spend annual leaves and weekends just to be with Grandma fearing each visit would be the last. In our might, we did and gave all we could. I have never regretted a single moment. I'm proud to have such parents because they taught me the most valuable values I could only wish I can impart to our future generations.

If you are at any point proud of being an Asian, embrace your traditional values. These are priceless lessons you may not be able to afford no matter how deep your pockets are. Get your chest out, feel proud.

Fat Coke Only Please

Following a series of unfortunate events, I'm home and Kokoro as dirty as before. The room needs to be cleaned too, that is after I can get my ass off this seat. The bump on the tyre is putting the pressure on the pocket. Togetherness is the time spent with my Mac. Busy weekends are a good way to pass time but there are bound to be moments when you are absolutely alone. Honestly, I did enjoy pockets of time like these but there are the others when you feel, even when you're just bummer, it's nice to have someone just there. Having said that, is that someone just filling space and the need or generally as human beings, we desire a sense of belonging?

Knowing very well that the full fat Coke is detrimental to the body, I could not resist indulging into the temptation of a chilled glass full of it. Then there are the harmful bits and pieces that come and go and yet continue to haunt you, very much like the after effects of Coke overdose. Such is life but how jaded that actually sounded doesn't really quite matter to anyone out there.

Yet another night out with the Fabulous Looking people and without any surprise, it was a night of fun. Things may not be the same as before but just by having a good friend or two, makes life worth its while afterall. Friends who can trigger smiles out of you easily are worth everything in this world to keep. Friendship never quite comes too easily. Seeing A&E Quack going around high fiving non-stop laughing at his own jokes made my day, no matter how exhausted I was after an entire day at work. The unsaid understanding of a true friend is priceless.

Another week of seeing my own name published on the local newspaper instantly made me feel like a star. Not exactly for the wrong reasons but I wish the intended readers would pick the information up. If next week develops into an incredibly busy week, I'd be a willing candidate.

Blue Clouds, White Sky

The first thing I got when I stepped into the office today after an unwarranted long weekend, a vicious paper cut awaited me. It cut so deep, I could see my flesh, albeit a 0.15267mm of it. Sensing bad news a looming, I couldn't be more eager waiting for my desktop to start up. The calendar screamed at my face, I needed to do a presentation. Being still groggy from an overdose of medication didn't quite help with the speed nor the clarity. Incoherent was an understatement. Going through the slides, which by any means should be a piece of cake to me since I was last being trained to at least be able to present some topics plucked from the air, proved to be difficult. Firstly, the last of my voice didn't help. The pain in the throat was worsening every passing second that I had to speak. Lastly, I was all that the team had. Thankfully, just when I was running out of saliva to lubricate my throat, PapaTran came to the rescue.

The overpriced soup was possibly the most comforting dinner I can think of. Just 20 mins before that, I had to fight gastric pain and an useless bladder. It was pure relief to be home and to be on my bed. Just when I popped my last does of antibiotics for today, together with a cocktail of multi-coloured pills, an unusual box blinked. Reckon that it wouldn't be too important, I entertained my swollen eyes with ice packs. Intuition called me back. An uneasy feeling crept up my spine and so I checked.

What I read sent an array of emotions all around and not knowing how I should be feeling. The stuffed up nose still wouldn't pity me and let me go. The mind must be hallucinating, as I told myself. It was scary. I meant real scary because I thought I dreamt of exactly the same scene last night. It's NOT deja vu. I did dream of the same scene last night. I don't even know if I'm typing in my dreams now. Maybe the brains are too tired but I'm typing all these just to prove that at the point when I'm typing, I wasn't dreaming. Or am I?

Hold My Hand

After a night of coughing, the decision to skip work was right. Concentration was no longer possible and my voice was almost inaudible. With 2 doses of antibiotics in me, the sudden surge of energy made me feel vulnerable. The need for a warm body to shower some concern became painfully clear. The disappearance of my Singapore Flyer months back woke me up from being reliant on anyone. It was be the swollen eyes that blurred my vision once again. Independence is not given and to internally fight for it should not be seen as tough. It could just be the bacteria-ridden brain that is making me think so negatively. Maybe getting back at work and to keep the mind totally occupied is not that bad an idea afterall. Getting the desk up and running is building the tenacity unknowingly and being a better person is not the natural result. The fight is unavoidable.

Spending time on the BBM with Black Tulip kept me smiling while waiting at the doctor's and while waiting for the right warm body to appear. It is a promise to myself that friends like such are rare to come by, hence not to be given up even if Prince Charming were to make his appearance one day.

Girls' Weekend

Simple snacks with the right company made late Friday night easy to pass. Lonely weekends are far from over but comforting chats made time shorter. The cherry on the icing was an entire Saturday full of laughter. Massive amounts of food and loads of harmless gambling led to a group of World Cup widows screaming "what are the chances?" The unbelievable odds reflects very much on life. When you think it's close to impossibility, the unexpected falls upon. The only flaw preventing the perfect day out was the bad throat and sniffly nose. Sunday became a day of miserable self nursing and pure hope of recovery. There's so much I'd want to say, writing it the way I would normally do. But my cloudy mind is not allowing it. Proofreading becomes a chore. Tomorrow should be better. Good night.

Black Tulips

Half of June has past me by and this is my first post for this month. Much has happened and too much work was done. Last nights in the office became common. Views were polished and sharpened but have also left the views even more hazed than before. At times, it's not necessary a blessing to see things this clearly. Criticism has to be taken lightly and improvements need to be actioned upon seriously. It's more than easy to say, life goes on.

People who have taken their leave are found to be closer in the weirdest sense possible. To be indirectly rejected will make way for newer searches, better fits. Blockheads are better left untouched before the beautiful turns ugly. While watching the TVB serial, I was reminded that the person who was able to keep the most to himself might almost always end up as the ultimate survivor. Happiness was another objective altogether.

Grumbles are reserved for people who can accept you for who you are and that to me would mean the very person whom my bloodstream is rooted to.

Too much to say but no way I can put it such that it will remain my style, cryptic that is. Thankfully, there's one listening ear for me. That was the ear with no agenda and happy flowers. To say this person is a big brotherly figure is so cheesy yet so accurate. The only thing missing is the pat on the head and the big bear hug before my tears will readily roll down my cheeks. To be more liberating in emotions is close to impossibility. Not that anyone would care and on the contrary, it's more likely to be read the wrong way. The worst way imaginable. Emotions are probably best to be kept to oneself. Meanwhile, I'm happy to share it with Black Tulips.

Time Runs

Grandma is 74 today! For once, I feel that age is catching up on my last surviving grandparent. Last week, she had to go under the knife for cataract and as she was walking down the steps just now, she was struggling. I cannot believe what I saw because she has always been rather healthy.

Now now, that makes me feel how far I'm lagging behind in terms of life's natural progression as compared to my peers. Being Asian, most of my friends from school have screaming kids tugging onto their dresses as they attend yet another wedding of a friend's. Biological clock ticking? Nope. About 4 years ago, I would have agreed but right now, it's just leaving everything to "what comes may". Having experienced enough irresponsibilities and disappearing men, becoming cynical was just expected.

If you ask me, I just want to go on a race on the track with the C63 AMG for now and dump all the tiring thoughts behind.

By the way, I never thought too well of Speegies (if you don't get it, that's cuz I meant it that way), I just do not want to become one. Having said that...

Yardstick For True Friendship

Yet another 2 weeks has past me by. Time moved faster than I can imagine although things have definitely gone against my vision's peripheral. Some people have chosen to come and others to go. The yardstick for sincerity just shifts itself before you can even get your eyes fixed on it.

On Friday, A-litigator brought up several issues about life in general. Thoughts progressed and lingered. We all have choices even if it comes to companionship and this in turn, will result in the type of lives we end up living. Yet another friend reminded me of possible vicious words and with sufficient sincerity, we should be able to keep true friendships. Living in daily confusion of uncovering truth and locating the truths behind the truth, this world of lies leaves all of us gasping for the rare breath of fresh air.

Escape is meant for fools and it's not suited for me. The courage to face up and to deal with it would be my way but I won't impose it on anyone. If the choice is to silently walk away, so be it. To think that the initial choice was right but it was proven wrong subsequently and maybe knowing the truth will actually hurts.

Speaking of the devil brought about new meaning. The truth about talking about someone and to run into someone immediately. Hope this isn't yet another disappearing act but I know very well, this lunchbox belongs to another.

Incredible Weather

Has it always been such or is it global warming?

Just weeks ago, it was raining regularly every afternoon. It wasn't the most welcomed thing but looking back, I'd rather have a rainy afternoon. Recently, it's been hot and I mean, too hot! Hitting highs of 35 degree celsius doesn't quite feel fun. Having to shuttle in and out of the office going for meetings after meetings, all you want is to have meetings in the office and no where else. Unfortunately, with the change in portfolio, more opportunities arise for me to brave the heat to get to another location too near yet too far. The heat brought about cruel headaches and even on a Sunday, sitting in the room with the AC and fan on, the headache persists.

In the every littlest effort I can to reduce global warming, being environmentally friendly wasn't a choice. It was a calling to make this planet a better place to live in. Before I sound like the irritating overly environmentally friendly freak, all I'm asking is to use ONE less plastic bag whenever you can. Carrying a 環保袋 will help the world more than you think, especially if everyone of us can just save one plastic bag every day. If there's no need for one, ask not to have one. Admittedly, some of us use plastic bags as trash bags and there aren't much alternatives. But truth is, don't most of us have excess of such bags at home and to dump one away when trash isn't quite filled to its capacity? It's quite a shame when other countries are showing the efforts and a developed nation like ours isn't playing its part. Whatever happened to BYOB?

Do your mini part, do what is within your means. The next time when you buy a drink from 7-11, tell them that you don't need a bag. And I'm not even asking you to buy a packet drink over a bottled drink! Do me a favour by doing mother earth a favour and you'll find that, you're doing yourself a gigantic favour.

Wrong & The Wrong

Another work week passed and finally having time to type my mind out again. Watching the way I type and careful not to ruin the careful "paintwork", I sat down on my bed in this cold room, staring at the rain and watch the day go by. Questions pop up and you ask yourself if it's such sheer coincidence that when the confidence dwindle, things happen to force you to have double takes. Is truth that hard to grasp?

Musical chairs is inevitable everywhere I go. It's more than plain familiarity. In this case, it's the unveiling of a hidden star and the focus on the better. The want for a faster drive, a better life and a concrete roof will mean a tougher time, harsher objectives and greater heights.

Checking on numbers send shocks but giving it back to feed the people who protect and contribute, blame could only be on bad accounts management. Putting in the hours will in hope, bring some glory back.

Yet another weekend... To another week to prove myself.

Not So Sweet Potato

Physical food may fill you but beyond the acceptable point, the body would just reject it all. Mental food sits on empty dishes and the dishwasher goes into overrun. Standing alone in that oven-like carpark, staring at the spot that was replaced by a giant machine, tears were warm, gently reminding you that it's a mistake. It could have been the poor memory or the inability to forget but the constant shower of words about the cold, makes breathing really harsh in this tight space. Putting the index finger on the reset button, the lack of courage pulls you back. The need to have some firm answers on the definition of happiness sends you a frightening moment that made it sound almost deaf. The blocked off atmosphere became so physical and tangible of a sudden. The need to run into the warmth familiar smell again developed into a stinging pain.

Funny how the sweet potato isn't that sweet after all.