R v Ahluwalia

Still remembered this case from my Criminal Law classes. One of the landmark cases that brings the difference between men and women's mindset and the latter shouldn't be punished unnecessarily for not reacting like a man.

Gist of the case as follows: Kiranjit Ahluwalia entered into an arranged marriage and suffered years of abuse from her husband. In May 1989 she threw petrol into his bedroom and set it alight. Her husband died six days later of his burns. She was convicted of murder on 7 December 1989 and appealed against her conviction. The first ground of appeal was that the judge wrongly directed the jury that a plea of provocation depended on establishing a ‘sudden’ loss of self-control; the second was that he failed to take into account that the defendant was suffering from ‘battered woman syndrome’, producing a state of ‘learnt helplessness’. The successful ground of appeal was the third. Medical evidence was available but not used at the first trial showed that the defendant was suffering from a major depressive disorder; this could have provided the basis for a successful plea of diminished responsibility. The conviction was quashed and a retrial ordered.

Before the case, murder could only be mitigated with provocation and diminished responsibility. Provocation must be immediate and DR must be some sort of lost of mind. Ahluwalia did not fulfil either requirement and failed in both appeals. On the third appeal, her lawyer brought up battered women syndrome. Women do not get provoked like men whose reaction is almost immediate. These anger stay in women and get built up slowly only to erupt like a volcano one day.

Southall Black Sisters were the ones who helped Ahluwalia out of murder and retrialed for voluntary manslaughter which greatly reduced the sentencing. Southall Black Sisters, a not-for-profit organisation, was established in 1979 to meet the needs of black (Asian and African-Caribbean) women. Their aims are to highlight and challenge violence against women; empower them to gain more control over their lives; live without fear of violence; and assert their human rights to justice, equality and freedom. For more than two decades they have been at the forefront of challenging domestic and gender violence locally and nationally, and campaigning for the provision of support services to enable women and their children to escape violent relationships. This case also brought women being abused out into the light and gives women all around the world more recognition and acknowledgement.

The movie, "Provoked" is a true story based on this landmark case, stars Aishwarya Rai, Naveen Andrews, Miranda Richardson, Robbie Coltrane, Nandita Das and Steve McFadden. Aishwarya Rai, supposedly the highest paid actress in India, was also Miss World 1994. Recently married to Bollywood star, Abhishek Bachchan, Aishwarya was once abused (says my colleague, Mrs Simpson), which may also explain why her performance in this show won many critics over. Although there are varying comments and some mentioned that the show was not factual enough, well a movie's a movie. Mundane things in life may not command box office, unfortunately. I am going to watch it tonight and hopefully, i'll enjoy it.

Lazy Sunday Afternoon

Lazy Sunday afternoon and we're all sitting at The Book Cafe doing nothing. Somehow, i kinda enjoy it. We're single, free, without kids and enjoying the silence. Well, minus off the sound of construction work from the nearby site. In Singapore, the sound is everywhere and really, there's no way you can escape that. Sometimes, this is still way better than kids screaming away. Don't misunderstand me. I love kids. In fact, i love Tubby's niece, Lala, to bits. Just that it's good to know you can always return them to their parents when they start their nonsense.

Blue skys, good sun without the humidity... This is simply a great day for the sun the sand and the sea. Tubby's gotta finish his dissertation draft which explains why we're all here. I'm not lamenting. In fact, i'm glad i can be here for him and spend this lazy afternoon with him. I kinda love it here doing nothing, chatting on MSN, think about work, clearing emails, checking friendster... Besides, Monkey and Zhao Cai Mao are here as well.

Have anyone of us ever looked up into the sky and see how blue it actually can be. Yes i know the sun is colourless but when i was in Shanghai, the sky is actually GREY. The sky reflects the colour of the ocean and apparently, it's gray in Shanghai. It makes you feel really gloomy for no reason why but here, blue skies makes you happy. Well you can't compare with Boracay or Bora Bora, it's as fantastic as you get in a built up city.

Now i wanna go Bora-Bora... Hmmm

My First Vaio

Got my aesthetically pleasing laptop but then again, it could have looked better if my pockets were deeper. All in all, i'm happy because it will serve me just fine since i'll be shuttling between my own place and my second home.

On an entirely different note, Tiger will be having his sex change operation next week and he will be a she by next week. Guess the hormornes injections will eradicate my worries on how he's going to pee with the habitual leg lifting pee posture.

Went for the Estee Lauder private sale just now and bought myself a ton of stuffs and hopefully, not junk. The crowd is insane and i spent more than an hour try to get to the end of the queue and another hour squeezing through the crowd inside. The best buy for today would be a travel size brush set. Been to countless of these sale and could never get my hands on some brushes. this is the first and the best. I couldn't bring myself to walk anymore because i was beginning to amass things i don't need and i don't want that to happen. I'm becoming Estee Lauder's sale expert... Haha!

Blood Red's manicure shop is opening today. Those of you interested for a self-pampering session, head for The Nail Loom Block 218 Bedok interchange. nice quaint outlet and i'm sure you'll go off with gorgeous nails.

Went to Mustafa last night with Monkey and Zhao Cai Mao to get Blood Red's gift. It was tiring to be lugging that huge box but all in all, it was fun to be able to do something for your best friend i guess.

I Can Be Purple, I Can Be Anything You Like!

Had a dream last night that i was turning fat. Think I've really gotta do something about it. I should stick to my low fat lunches and not make regular trips to the point point shop and have copious amount of yummy curry on my rice. Gym... Er... I still try but this week's a little different.

Coloured my hair back to ash-brown last night. According to my colleagues, this colour does complement my skin colour but purple's still funky. I like the purple alot but unfortunately, it doesn't give me the professional aura that I'm supposed to exude. So i had it back to a colour a little more professional looking and soon, I'd need to have a suit ready in the office for emergency meetings. And sooner than that, I'd need to develop an international accent??!! What is an international accent? To sound like Flying Dutchman?

I can be brown, i can be blue, i can be violet sky... I can be hurtful, I can be purple, I can be anything you like... Gotta be green, gotta be mean, gotta be everything more... Why don't you like me, why don't you like me, why don't you walk out the door... In case you're wondering, these are lyrics to the song, Grace Kelly, by Mika. My favourite song for now...

We will be going to Melbourne and Sydney in August. Yippee! I hope... If Monkey and Zhao Cai Mao are to fall through for these GRAND PLANS, we'll just have to plan them ourselves.

But before that, I'd love to go on a trip back to Malacca, yes again!, to have a retreat session at the spa. Can we? (Imagine Puss-n-Boots' twinkling innocent eyes)

Lips Of An Angel

Love this song so much and thought i'd like to share it with you guys. One of those emo-rock but great sing-along, be it the bathroom or when you're alone in the car.

Hinder - Lips Of An Angel

Honey why you calling me so late?
It's kinda hard to talk right now.
Honey why are you crying? Is everything okay?
I gotta whisper 'cause I can't be too loud

Well, my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice say my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It's funny that you're calling me tonight
And, yes, I've dreamt of you too
And does he know you're talking to me
Will it start a fight
No I don't think she has a clue

Well my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice say my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It's really good to hear your voice say my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

Honey why you calling me so late?

I'm A Wild HOG!

Took the weekend to visit Grandma's grave and to pay respects. Brought Tubby there and even my cousin thought that Grandma would be very happy to see him and that he's treating me well.

Instead of my uncle's place, we stayed at Sebana Cove. Not the 5 star hotel sort but very resort feel and definitely relaxing.

We thought coming back on Sunday early afternoon could give us more time to rest but apparently NOT. Went to watch Wild Hogs with Monkey and Zhao Cai Mao. Good show. Hilarious! Would recommend to those who needs a laugh.

Dinner was disastrous but mango pomelo will always salvage the situation.

Was late this morning. My bones were aching... I need a break...

In the process of planning Melbourne & Sydney for August. Hong Kong plans was aborted. Will have to miss my colleague's wedding.

Could Be A Miracle...

Tiger went for an ultra sound scan last night and Singapore's top vet, Dr Jean-Paul Ly, told us that neither his kidney nor liver is severely damaged and would not be fatal. All he needs now is a sex change operation. I'm not trying to put neutering into a joke, the fact is, he seriously needs to change his gender. That would entails removing his whole male reproduction system and not just his balls. Well if that does him good, i guess we're happy. The only thing now is the cost. As alot of you may already know, this whole hospitalisation has burnt this huge hole in my pocket as well as my parents'. I don't think we can afford the operation anymore. But no matter what, we have to do it, else we risk his kidney and whole urinary tract having stones again. Wish him luck and pray hard that my Dad strikes lottery now. My old man is severely stressed over this whole saga financially and i wish i could help him. There's only so much i can do and i'm at my wits end. We need more than this miracle but even then, we're already extremely lucky to have Tiger back and running. Thank you... Everyone who has helped in his recovery or was there for me with your ever generous emotional support.

Updates On Tiger

Just a quick update.

Keeping my fingers and toes crossed. Tiger's problem could just be the liver and not kidney, which is fantastic news. At least it's not terminal or fatal. Our liver constantly heals itself so it goes the same for dogs.

We'll see how the test today goes...

Don't Take Tiger Away From Me. Please!

Tiger might die anytime.

His kidney has failed. Treatment may not be sufficient.

I think it could be my fault. If i had brought him to the vet earlier, he might not have died. To look at him now, after losing all that weight, it pains me to send him back to the hospital. He's not eating nor drinking. He's in terrible pain.

The vet was being optimistic to my parents but i was afraid that she's actually giving them false hopes. Tiger is like my Dad's companion. I don't know how is my Dad going to take this since my Grandma just passed away recently. No other person nor dog is going to replace Tiger. He's my first ever dog and he's like my best friend. When i'm upset, i'll go home and to se him wag his tail to welcome me home, all the pain seemed to have disappeared for that moment. He'll smile when i speak to him. I'm not crazy, dogs do smile, if you have tried to pay attention to them. Tiger is like my best friend.

Tiger is not old. In human terms, he's merely into his 40s. My heart is in pain. I wish i could save him. Let alone the hefty medical bills, the pain is killing my heart slowly. i don't know if i have the heart to love another dog again. He's the best to me and will always be such. He's been there for me throughout my exams, my loss of kin, my disappointments with life and in life. Tiger means the world to me and he's leaving me soon.

Please allow a miracle to happy. I want to see him walk to me to get sayang-ed and kisses, jump and doing a million of other silly things just to ask for treats. Please don't take Tiger away from me. Please...

Changes...

The office seems so different without Ah Joo Dee today. Apparently, we can expect more changes to come during the span of this week. "Long Lash" is in town and he proposed a new seating arrangements for us. So before close of business today, we're going to be moving tables again. I roughly know where i'll be sitting but trust me, nothing is firmed up, even after you're well-planted in the new seat.

My career is going on a very different path. It's going to be major. Very much make or break. Sort of. Nothing has been announced so i shall keep it hush hush until concrete announcement is being made.

Today is the last day of peace and order. Back to chaos tomorrow... Right now, i only wanna work and be super efficient today.

Ah Joo Dee

Finally, you have left us in search of greener pastures. My emotions are mixed. You were my bestest colleague, someone who has taught me how to register candidates and polite no. You will remain one of the best people i'll ever work with. It's inevitable sad and tears just flow down uncontrollably when i had to say bye. I know i'll see you again but i also know, i won't walk into the office with a sugar roll on my desk anymore or have anyone i can buy them for when i feel like giving someone a small treat. I wish i can make you stay by buying you a SME every morning. But i also know, you'll be happier from today onwards. I can only wish you all the best. Have fun in Sydney and do come back to lunch with me. We also had to cover each other during lunch. Now that i don't have to cover anyone, i also don't get to eat myself poor with you. This bottomless pit will miss you. Thank you for everything you've done for me. You mean alot to me in my little insignificant life. I'll miss the team of Babooshka boss, DGJ and you, Ah Joo Dee. Not forgetting comedy boss who completes the team. I'll really miss the old office. I understand the need to grow into a bigger office and expand but i'm sure, time with you guys will always be very important part of my life.

What Pie Are You?

You Are Cherry Pie

You're the perfect combo of innocent and sexy Those who like you enjoy a contradiction

What Kind of Pie Are You?

Dreams Catcher

What is possibly the weirdest dream you've ever had?

C'mon, share your oddest dream.

I'll start the ball rolling...

The one most memorable dream i had was when i was a kid. That's probably the only dream that i've ever had that i've remembered vividly since day uno. - I was strolling down the estate i used to live right after dinner, accompanied by my family members. Then a Mummy (as in those Egyptian horror films) came along in a wheelchair and started chasing me. The rest of my family members were totally unaware that i was being chased by the Mummy no matter how loud i screamed at them, my tears just came rolling down. Well, of course, i was on my feet trying to escape and not be caught by the Mummy. Now for the boring part, i simply ran and the Mummy kept chasing for the rest of the dream until i woke up.

When i was brought back to reality, i turned back to look at my pillow. It was soaking with tears. I must have been wailing like a tap . It sounds silly but hey, it did scared the shit out of me.

Has another dream last night and (using words Juju used) Easy Peasy Lemon Squeesy compared to the Mummy dream. I was walking down the street with Chubby Teddy, now better known as Tubby. We passed by this funeral parlour which deep down me, i knew it was also a bakery although there were no obvious signs that it's a bakery. I went there to buy a box of "Hei Bang" (Cantonese wedding cake), how irony right, buying wedding pastries at a funeral parlour. It's damn odd. Then we sat by the road side, just like the "wu jiao ji", a 5 feet walkway which was a common sight in Singapore in the 50s - 60s. Then my bf's ex-gf and her friend came to sit down with us and we chatted. She was holding his hand but i thought well, ok they're just friends right. Then he told me when we started going out, he was still with her. It freaked me out. But what was worse was that my bf started rambling off in fluent Bahasa. To put things straight, Tuddy did had this Malay gf who happened to be an ex-schoolmate of mine but it wasn't her in the dream lah, it was a Chinese girl??!! Ok back to the dream, he rambled off in Bahasa and i was so freaked, i just rolled my eyes and walked off in a daze.

Look! We all had our fair share of weird dreams. Do share yours with me. Well, apart from those unprepared for exams, teeth falling off, falling down, late for work, not packed for long travels, sort of dreams. Most of us would probably had, at some point in time, at least one of the dreams above.

Big Fish Small Fish

"Long Lashes", my big big big boss, says that he's going to rearrange the seats today. I wonder if that's good news for me. I have my doubts. As you guys know, i'm not someone with the best luck around and i always end up getting the worst so it might be worse than what it is now. Well, i'm getting used to this and it's not as bad. Guess it's blessing in disguise. I'm putting in so much more effort into what i'm doing, not so much that someone is looking at me but i'm not so easily distracted by other things.

Keeping my fingers crossed, i might just have made my first ever placement all done by myself. Beginning from the search to the calling and the crazy arrangements of interviews and organising flights and hotels, meeting with the candidates and client, the worrying if i'll ever get an offer... Now it's all coming together. Albeit it's not big, but it was way bigger than it actually was intended to be and i've made one guy possibly the happiest guy on earth. And also, it's a first for me.

I did one together with DGJ sometime ago but without her help pointing out to me, look this is a perfect candidate, i wouldn't have been able to place that girl. Then again, i must say that i've learnt a great deal from DGJ and my Comedy Boss through these two placements. Yippee!

I know these are peanuts little placements compared to those astronomical once my colleagues are placing but i'm happy because this actually shows that i'm doing the right thing and it's paying off. Good Lord.

Keeping fingers crossed until i see the cheque, and oh well, and also for the whole year while the guy is in the company.

Some Interesting Pictures - Malacca

Chubby Teddy

Monkey In Action

He sure loves what he does...

Hotel Puri

Saga De Malacca

I can't say the Easter trip to Malacca was amazing fun but it did began with a bang. I can foresee that we'll be repeating this saga quite a bit over coffeeshop chats. All in all, i did enjoy myself.

Like i mentioned earlier, we were intending to take "Alibaba's" mini bus up but after crossing the Causeway, we happily thought we were all geared and ready for the 2 hours drive. We couldn't be more wrong. We were pulled over by the Malaysian traffic police just as we exited the customs. Apparently, the license for the bus to cross over to our neighbouring country expired. In the usual Malaysian fashion, they had a long chat with us, putting up the usual show that they can't take bribes and all. In the end, we had to be escorted by the traffic police back to Singapore land. When we were dropping that traffic police off, we found out that we still had to pay like RM 500 to appease him even if it means that we still got to go back home and take the cars.

So we came back and took the cars. Monkey's car was alright, nice car but trust me, if you had to be stuck in the back seat with the sun tanning your right arm, it wasn't something i was looking forward to. I wished we took Xiaobai. At least i could entertained myself on the way there. Had a silent fight with Chubby Teddy in the car but wasn't angry with him, i guess i was just uncomfortable. And all of you who knows me, when i'm either uncomfortable or tired or hungry, i'm extremely grouchy.

Finally when we arrived at the hotel, i found that my long awaited spa sessions were all fully booked. It was hugely disappointing. I really needed a knead on my shoulder and down my back. Luckily, the downhill part of the whole trip ended here.

Cut the whole story short, we ate and ate, walk and walk, then eat again, occasionally shopped a little then back to eating and sleeping. It's weird that one of the most enjoyable part of the trip was playing Uno with Chubby Teddy, Monkey and Zhao Cai Mao. We took some nice pictures which i'll attempt to post it on when i can.

It was an ok trip but the crowd made it complete.

Tiger Can't Pee

Everytime my parents take a holiday, something bound to happen to Tiger but this time round, it's far more severe than any of the previous times. Weeks ago, Tiger had traces of blood in his pee but we kinda brushed it off without paying much attention. Big mistake! On Friday night, he couldn't pee so i thought, well maybe we should just observe him for a day or so. In the morning, i received an MMS from my brother, a voice recording of Tiger's whining. After hearing it, i starting making phonecalls to various vets but they were all fully booked and would only see the animal in an emergency case. It didn't take long for us to know that it's an emergency because at late afternoon, i received a call from his nanny telling me that Tiger has gone into convulsion. I knew the urine will be toxic to his kidneys but i was just too dumb to link the different pieces of information together.

I then got his nanny to send him to Simei because they close later on Saturdays. I specifically told his nanny to take a cab and I'll reimburse her and this was an hour before the clinic closes. I took a cab down from town only to find that she's still home waiting for her husband to pick her up in his huge industrial lorry. I was furious but thank God i didn't blow and was able to hold my cool. My parents would have killed me if i ever raised my voice at her. They were in love with her!

The vet then tried to make him pee but his renal or whatever passage was blocked so they have to poke a hole and draw his pee out. By then he was all soft and his eyes were all blood shot. His pee were all bloody. We had to send him to Balestier immediately to the Animal Hospital and the vet at Simei would go over when she's done. While waiting aimlessly and our eyes half closing, Dr Ly (Top vet in Singapore) walked in and chatted with us. Upon hearing Tiger's plight, he declared Tiger's case an emergency and you can imagine the drama that followed. Everyone in the clinic was summoned for Dr Ly to perform the operation on Tiger himself with the help of at least 2 other vets. I knew the cost was going to be shy high since Dr Ly was pretty well known for his skills and the cost of seeing him. Just to put things in view, to get a consultation with Dr Ly takes about 3-4 weeks in queue. I was glad Tiger was in good hands and cost wasn't exactly on my mind. Well, he did tell me it will cost a couple of thousands of dollars.

That night alone came up to almost $3000 excluding other costs like hospitalisation and such but frankly, it's not expensive to save my dog's life. And for 3 vets to be operating on him at the same time, it's a reasonable price to know that he's in good hands. However, i already had problems with a shocking credit card bill. Remember i mentioned earlier about a low credit card bill last month? That's because it's all billed to me this month. How clever. How unfortunate.

Tiger is already recovering. He's still in the ICU but he can at last wag his tail. He's not moving much nor is he eating. They had to force feed him some nutritious liquid to keep him alive and he's still on drip in order to flush out the impurities in his kidney. This is the first time in my life i heard that dogs have ICU and that they are given epidurals as a form of regional anesthesia. The vets removed say 20 stones from his kidney and his urinary passage which we later found out was the thing blocking his pee from coming out.

I'm just glad he's getting better by the day. He'll be discharged tomorrow. Will update you guys on his blood test and the lab test results of the stones tomorrow.

Work Stress or Irritating Colleague

Generally, people at work will know me as the happy, cheeky girl who's willing to do whatever she told, well if it falls within my job scope that is. I rarely reject people unless i'm overwhelmed but i'm no pushover. I'm lucky to have understanding colleagues and such but recently, some people are just getting on my nerves. I feel that i was pushed back to the starting point and the whole torture peocess has to start all over again. When people can't handle their stress and treats you like a trashcan, you'll be as upset as i am. I was almost breaking into tears but i remembered "DGJ" told me one last thing before she left this company. In order to gain respect in any working environment, i have to be alot more serious. Life is such, you're being judged for who you put out to be and not who you really are and what you can do.

I needed to vent the frustration out so bad that i emailed my bosses and told them in quite an angry tone that i was being "mentally abused" and being thrown PA jobs which were totally degrading for me. I'm like a heavy train going uphill, it seems like you're getting there and it's taking a long time and you're glad you're moving but when someone in the train keep jumping and kept the train from moving any more forward, instead pushing it back to base point, it's really vexing and dangerous. Well, it's all over. I just hope that i can have more of a poker face next time and learn to be more plastic.

Senseless SG Boys

In general, Singaporean girls do not need their guys to open their doors nor pull our their chair but we're not going to deny that it feels good to be pampered once in a while. I must say i'm lucky because CT knows how to treat a girl right, not just me, guess it boils down to having 3 elder sisters who probably drilled him to walk the route leading to "the bright side". Well, he's got me, guess that's an incentive? For him at least? Oh crap...

My message is: "Singaporean boys in general (I STRESS, NOT ALL OF THEM), do not know how to treat a lady right." It doesn't have to be your sister, your girlfriend nor your Mom. Just gestures to know that you're still human enough to care about people around you. Take for example, my hands were full today with bags and such, the men just walked past me with no intention to open the heavy door for me and when they do it to let themselves in, they didn't bother to keep it open for 5 more seconds so that i can get it??!! WTF!

Guys, you've got to learn to be more gentlemanly. You'll never know who you're going to meet. You are constantly being observed and one day, it might hit back at you. When you're nice, you will be remembered. I never thought white guys were in any way superior and in fact, i've only dated Asian guys. Don't let the girls remember the white trash and leave you behind. Stop complaining Singaporean girls don't like Singaporean boys.

Xiao Bai

Finally, "Xiao Bai" aka "Bunny" is here. I took it for a ride and you can really feel the turbo when the little meek looking car surged forward, it almost felt like someone installed rockets at the back of the car, pushing the car forward with the combustion. Yeah talking about combustion, it's probably not the most fuel efficient car around. Nonetheless, it's a good and fun drive. Well, "Monkey" and "CT" would find it hard to believe when i made a sharp turn of more than 90 degrees at a speed sedning your hair flying, technically in excess of 100km/h, it didn't prove to be so fun to them after all. But guys, trust me, i had my eyes opened all the time, i knew we're going to be safe and we could all feel the grip of the car alright? But when CT said, "Don't ever do that again... Well unless I'm drunk". That, freaked me out! I'll never be indecisive on the road again, although i drive like a bloody man.

Roadtrip, Yet Again.

Plans for Good Friday had been planned and changed yet again. The initial plans of going to Bangkok,then maybe Hong Kong, then became Bali then now, we're going to Malacca. It's like predestined i can't go anywhere too far, at most just across the Causeway. But we'll be going with "Monkey" and "Zhao Cai Mao" together with Monkey's colleagues. Guess it should be fun considering we'll be taking "Alibaba's" super bus so we'll all be crapping along the way. Simply can't wait...

We have so much plans on our palatte, i wonder when will we ever materialise them. Given by next year we wouldn't need to fork out some fixed expenses and possibly better remuneration along the way, we should be able to go for our Italian escape and Japanese retreat. Well unless i decide to do my NY bar, then i'll have to put it back to a later date. It's gonna cost me a bomb and i must say, i'm very tempted, as much as my current job doesn't require it, it will act like a safety net for me in case i'd ever want to go into practice, in fact, it'd help even if i were to go in-house.

I'm quite peeved at the moment with my work. Not that i'm not enjoying it, in fact i'm in tremendous joy to be moving forward. It has to boil down to the seating arrangement. Frankly, i'm alright here. However, a new colleague, well also a Aussie girl (maybe that's why), will be getting my favourite seat, the seat that i've always wanted. Window seat! Get it? And me, being here for these few months, working like a farm cow gets the everyone can see me, not so private seat. I'd love to reiterate, it's not that i'd go stuffs that i'm not allowed to do, it's just the ultimate discomfort of everyone looking into your screen. It's probably the first and only screen you can see when someone walk past the door. It's like big and bright staring right in your face when you step in. Fuck!

It's Natas fair this weekend, maybe i can start planning a small trip after "CT's" exams. We should take some time off this irritating and dog-eat-dog world.

I need to go for retail therapy...

Intuition Kills

Have you girls ever felt when people interact, you get the "there's something between them" sort of feeling? Or could you girls feel the concern someone has for another in excess of a platonic relationship? Why am i just asking the girls? Simply because girls are the idiots who read too much and think too much and will more often than not, end up hurting only herself. I have to admit that i really felt it but i also have to come to terms that our intuition may not always be right. Even if it was, I've now chosen to think otherwise. It is not worth the while to destroy trust solely based on intuition. Intuition may sometime or one day, cause our doom. We've been too reliant on it for the largest part of our lives.

On an abnormal note, the burst of emotions can relief huge amounts of stressed piled up for some people. For me, i just remained too calm, too cold. I barely showed any emotion or shed a tear but inside me, i was just tearing up, entirely devastated by my own idiotic imagination. I felt that as per every other times, God was trying to take away things that doesn't belong to me, maybe because i don't deserve it, maybe i never had it, maybe... However, the love built in this short span has the elasticity and strength to withstand all these and it just emerged stronger. I'm enjoying more than ever. The joy of being in each other's arms just greatly increased in magnitude. The morning was grey and cloudy but the breeze was comfortable and you know, sunlight was just shining through without the heat. It felt good. You know the sun will shine through later.

Anger Management

Arguements are inevitable in relationships and i'm glad we haven't got much to argue. We have our occasionally over the board, taken too far sort of jokes but we know this doesn't affect how we feel about each other. I must say that the fear did set in when the silence slowly creeps into the discomfort zone but i know that for the love we share, it will end soon. The end hug was one of the most comfortable ever, to know that there's someone there to bear my nonsense, untimely silence and inability to take serious jokes.

Like we promised each other, we should always talk it through. Don't ever coop those anger inside you. Speaking about which, just got this email from "DGJ" on anger management, Enjoy!


When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know. I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialled it. A man answered, saying "Hello." I politely said, "This is David. Could I please speak with Robert Campbell ?"


Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f*ckin number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robert's correct number to call him, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.


After hanging up with him, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled " You're a C*nt!" and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'C*nt' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really badday, I'd call him up and yell, " You're a C*nt!" It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'C*nt' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from BT. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?"
He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're a C*nt!"

One day I was at Lakeside Shopping Centre, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a gunmetal grey Land Rover cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me.


I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first C*nt (I had his number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the Land Rover C*nt, too. I said, "Is this the man with the gunmetal grey Land Rover for sale?"
"Yes, it is", he said. "Can you tell me where I can see it?" I asked.
"Yes, I live at 129 Alice Street, in Ilford. It's a terraced house, and the car's parked right out in front."
"What's your name?" I asked. "My name is Steve Hansen," he said.
"When's a good time to catch you, Steve?" "I'm home most days as I'm currently unemployed."
"Listen, Steve, can I tell you something?" "Yes?" "Steve, you're a C*nt!" Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem, I had two arseholes to call. Then I came up with an idea. I called C*nt #1.
Hello." "You're a C*nt!" (But I didn't hang up.)
"Are you still there?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said.
"Stop calling me," he screamed.
"Make me," I said.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"My name is Steve Hansen."
"Yeah? Where do you live?"
"C*nt, I live at 129 Alice Street, Ilford, a terraced house, with my gunmetal grey Land Rover parked out the front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Steve. And you had better start saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, C*nt," and hung up.


Then I called C*nt #2. "Hello?" he said.
"Hello, C*nt," I said.
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
"You'll what?" I said.
"I'll kick your arse," he exclaimed.
I answered, "Well, C*nt, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."


Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 129 Alice Street, Ilford , and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 5 News about the hoodie war going down in Alice Street, Ilford.
I quickly got into my car and headed over to Alice Street. I got there just in time to watch two C*nts beating the crap out of each other in front of six police cars, an overhead police helicopter and a news crew.


NOW I feel much better.


Anger management really works...

Blown Up Glove

Have you ever found yourself waking up early in the morning with a smile and a hand that looks like a blown up surgeon's glove sliding down your face, complete with "good morning" filled with morning breath? And yet you simply feel like the luckiest girl on earth?

I feel vulnerable, not in a bad way but i have no idea if it'll ever grow into something really nasty. When you can't get enough of someone and are in constant need to see or be in the company of one particular person, you risk getting too sticky for comfort; but when two person are sort of willingly sinking into this "you asked for it" vulnerability, it's actually enjoyable. We both know one day we'll just not feel the need to see or feel each other constantly; but right now, we're both just sunken in deep and can't quite get out of it... Do we even want to?

Right now, i'm just enjoying the moments we spend in the car on the way to work, when i just refuse to wake up and make an enormous fuss when some stupid alarm just couldn't go off, torturing myself with cold cold showers early in the morning! By cold cold shower i don't quite mean the extinguishing kind, but more of the freezing cold unheated water. It's a torture but to be able to see that face with that gayish smile, it's all worth it. I'm loving every moment of this.

One day we're be driving our Grand Vitara and pointing our middle finger at some sore driver who can't drive properly. We'll do our one click signal turnings and irritate the shit out of the other road users. We'll just go to work together even if it means there's pure silence. But we're aware and we can feel, the silence is actually comfortable in the midst of the mutual synchronicity.

New Seat - Bad Bad Bad

My seat has changed again.

Now I'm not facing the sun nor is my big boss facing my screen but it's far worse. The whole world is facing my screen now. I can't even check my emails in peace now. Having the largest screen in the office is not helping either. My privacy is all gone. They are unwilling to put me in my favourite window seat for stupid reasons and now taking my away from the other seat but even more silly reasons. I'm feeling miserable. The sun in my eye was bad enough, now i have a reflective UFO looking thing in my eye. It's not making things any better though. From where i was, at least the sun wasn't that strong. Now, it's right in my eye. How clever. Was just telling "DGJ" how interesting it is to tell them I'll be resigning one day and the reason being "I'm stuck in a bad seat".

Seriously, it's not because I'm fussing about it, now can you work while seated in the most uncomfortable place in the whole wide world? Besides, your loud colleague is just right in front of you. With his voice amplifying your face, I'm almost sure i can't hear myself over phonecalls nor think and type properly in my emails. If you've heard the corny remarks he makes, you really wouldn't wanna be laughing to them.

Office Expansion

Guess it's good that my office has just doubled in terms of size over the weekend. That will also mean that I'll be doing real recruitment jobs and more people will be hired doing the support work. Frankly, I'm not exactly enjoying this. My back is facing the door, extremely bad fengshui, not that it matters but that will mean that I'm actually looking at the nice view with the sun in my eyes and after a while, i keep seeing stars. It's really bad for my eyes and i should be like wearing sunnies or something while I'm working. I hate it. I feel miserable. My big boss happen to be sitting right behind me as well, and really, haven't got much to hide just superbly uncomfortable to have everyone looking at your screen. It feels invasive and i feel bare. My heart is constantly beating real hard with fear that someone might just pounce up on me of a sudden. Now i know what it means by bad fengshui. You're so emotionally affected, you can't really work. I genuinely hate it. I never hated something so much for a long time. I'm risking my damned life to be blogging this but i don't care because this will be the last time I'm doing this. If I'm doing to be pinned for taking 5 mins doing what i want, I'd be out of the door sooner than you think.

Music and Lyrics

I won't say that this movie is a must watch but unless you love Hugh Grant. Look, which girls don't actually take a second look at this guy, you've got to admit he looks fabbo for his age. At 40, all men should look like this. Then again, it'd be like a gay city. It's a relief to know he still like sex, with women of course. Behind closed doors may be that i would never know and have no intentions of finding out. The show is more of Hugh Grant than Drew Barrymore. Well at least to me, she's more like a support than the lead. Of course, i'm biased, he's cute and i can't resist a charming chiselled looking, blue eye bloke.

In modern times, we always look at songs as music plus lyrics but have we forgotten the Bach and Beethoven? Lyrics have played many crucial roles in the lives of you and me. Well at least to me, as you can see from the previous posts, i've never undermined the power of lyrics and the impact it creates. "Would you lie with me and just forget the world" talks about my inner desire yet came through when "Chubby Teddy" appeared and you wouldn't believe how much it digs into me and how strongly i feel for the meanings of the song on a different level. It's like a hidden yet blatant desire and now, fulfilled. I'm sorry i don't quite sound coherant right now and like many other times, i never try to be simply because i'm writing this blog like the way i feel at this instant and you should be able to imagine me telling you this as if i'm putting down a narration in black and white.

Music and lyrics are like Yin and Yang and it'll go hand in hand. Cheesy as it may sound, i'm sure there're lyrics to the most classical and instrumental pieces around. They all tell a story, whether we see it, feel it, relate to it, is a totally separate issue. They all have moods, emotions, up and downs, you just have to search within yourself for the lyrics that should go with the music of your heart.

I found my lyrics, have you found your music?

Getting A Heart Attack!

To have steamboat for dinner is always comforting and satisfying. To have it with fun people just topped it in the charts. Found a fellow bottomless pit, while the others stare aimlessly into space with their tummies bloated with an overload of food, both of us just smiled and kept eating ignoring the boredom on their faces.

The steamboat happened the night before and the whole of yesterday since steamboat till now, i had this pain in my chest and i had difficulty breathing. Doctor told me it could just be bronchitis but i still gotta watch out for tingling sensation on my fingertips or on my left hand cuz that might mean i'm on my way to a cardiac arrest and should be at the A&E immediately.

Every morning should just start like this morning. Arriving early for work, seeing the person you love, get your daily supply of hugs and kisses, followed by good breakfast. It's all good till you get just one irritating bugger turning up the volume of the radio, not that the music is bad, but the selfish nature of not sparing a thought for other people, really pissed me off. How i wish some things remained the way it began. It doesn't affect me as much that some people leave a part of my life but it's the entrance of unwelcomed people. I tried to accept some things or people with an open heart but they just continue to prick you every now and then till you get unbearably pissed, you just switch off and ignore. Now, i can't be bothered. I'm just feeling more and more miserable as time passes.

Why can't we just have drinks on Friday?

Yum Yum Lunch

We have a new colleague in our office today, our brand new admin assistant. Round of applause... For me! I'm so glad the load is slowly being removed from my puny shoulders. Talking about that, i need to do something about my stiff shoulders. I'm wondering would the culprit be my pillow, my sitting posture, my keyboard with super short wiring or my bra straps. Whatever it is, my shoulders are aching and i feel terrible. I'm going to get new pillows, new keyboard, new bras and make sure this situation improve. I can't possibly sit here for 10 hours bearing the unbelieveable ache, it's impossible and insane. Should you be aware of any other cause of aching neck, please tell me.

Lunch was alright today. As usual, with every new colleague joining us, we'll go out for lunch. Went to Fullerton today, wasn't my first visit there and knew exactly what i wanted before i even got there, i can't resist good beef. Will upload picture when i get home.

My plans to go Bangkok during the Good Friday weekend was almost changed when Monkey suggested, or rather, coerced us to go Hong Kong instead. Frankly, i'm tempted but the factors holding me back would be the cost and of course, i'll get to go to Hong Kong end of this year again with my company if my boss decide to fly us up again like they've been doing for the past 2 years (For me, last year). So we've decided to stick to our Bangkok plans for now.

My New Evo Looking Black iPod Nano

Sorry Jem, couldn't make it to hard rock last night. Promise it won't happen again. I feel so bad.

I slept really early last night, before i even got to brush my teeth, i simply dozed off. Meaning, i never intended to zzz off but was just too tired. It's been a hectic week but i'm enjoying every minute of it. Later in the morning, we're bringing "Purple Pony Princess" for breakfast and ice-cream yippee! Well, ice-cream for breakfast, doesn't it sound like somthing i always do? Haha, i've gotta admit, i'm a weirdo!

My new phone had been servicing me well for the past 24 hours and it's really fun. Well, i got myself into the "irritate myself to death" shit when i bought the idiotic, un-user friendly Samsung. I'm glad i'm back to my SonyEricsson.

BTW, i got my Nano! The 8gB black and fierce, Evo looking iPod. Haven't got a chance to use it yet but i thought it came as a great deal cuz they gave me a $64 voucher which i used it to get the earphones. Think it's way cool. Now, go out and get it!

Think i wanna go back and catch some zzzs before breakfast.

I'm Psychopathic!

You Are 72% Abnormal

You are at high risk for being a psychopath. It is very likely that you have no soul. You are at high risk for having a borderline personality. It is very likely that you are a chaotic mess. You are at high risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is very likely that you are in love with your own reflection. You are at high risk for having a social phobia. It is very likely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement. You are at medium risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is somewhat likely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.

How Abnormal Are You?

How You Are In Love

You fall in love quickly and easily. And very often. You give completely and unconditionally in relationships. You need your space and privacy. You don't like to be smothered. You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change. You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

How Are You In Love?

Care Bear Cousin: Playful Heart Monkey

Went for dinner with Dad, Mom, my favourite cousin and her two adorable daughters like night. Yes, the 2 of them were "the usual suspects". I hang out with them most of the time, well until "Chubby Teddy" took my weekends away from them. Well i didn't neglect them because of that, it's due to the discomfort of other factors now but i want you guys to know i still love you guys.

After dinner, we just shopped around and i came upon a huge, not gigantic but huge Monkey Care Bear. I've always loved Care Bear but never quite paid much attention to Care Bear cousins but the MONKEY!!! Well, FYI, i was born in the year of the Golden Monkey and i'm pretty much like a monkey. I can't keep still still and i can be relly mischeivous. I hate to say this but i'm as intelligent as well. Wahahaha!!! It's yellow and really caught my attention.

What really shocked me was Dad actually asked me if i wanted it. Dad had never quite gotten me toys and i really apreciate the gesture. Dad, being a fair Dad, will give my brother that amount in cash. I'm glad i got the toy because i've been looking for a nice toy which i can hug to sleep and this couldn't have came at a better time and for once i can say, "Dad got me this!". I love my Dad. Will post a picture on the toy once it's feasible.

You Have Munchausen Syndrome!

You know who you are and you're suffering from this. I wish you never get to read this because i never intended for you to read my blog. But somehow, i think you do read my blog and you found out using some underhand, unscrupulous method to get here. I'm telling you that you're suffering from Munchausen Syndrome! I read about this syndrome during law school but forgot it actually existed. It suddenly came to me, there is such a syndrome and you're a victim of it. Go see a shrink!

For those of you who's wondering what the fuck is Munchausen Syndrome, it's a type of fictitious mental disorder. People suffering from Munchausen will feign disease or illness to fish for sympathy. It may not be entirely false but there's always plenty of room for exaggeration.

I know you're just full of shit and feigning it. I know that so stop trying to bullshit me and stop your constant need for sympathy. You do not fucking deserve it and i do not fucking care. Go fucking far away from me!

Show Me The Money!

Once again, it's Mom's birthday. This year, we'll be having a scrumptious one with the usual suspects.

That's not the good news i've intended to deliver though. According to my boss, i'll be moving to do REAL work when the wall comes down end March but even better, i'm getting my own assistant. I'm thrilled!

Well, she'll technically be everyone's assistant but she's be taking over all my mundane jobs and i'll be moving on to do the big money making deals. I can so hear the ka-ching now. Then again, my credit card bill didn't quite succeed in surprising me this month. Well, it's not so much that i underspend because i've anticipated from the pre & post Chinese New Year shopping frenzy that i'll be on the gullotine real soon. Fortunately, i've got an unexpected little bonus and two big amounts from some merchants didn't quite meet off the cut off time set by our friend, Citibank, so it wasn't reflected on my current statement. However, "Chubby Teddy" gently reminded me that it's just like impending death, you'll just be like waiting for next month to die so i better not splurge my puny bonus on some state-of-the-art gadget. Maybe i'll just camp here for my iPhone.

Went to Jheraton last night and we ended up just bluetoothing each other. How exciting. If you think i've spelled Sheraton wrongly, that's not true. It's intentional. Well, we're all J so some monkey is going to name his kids, Jerk and Jitch oh and maybe Jee-bye. Wahaha i swear we were insane but i must say, it was fun. "Monkey" and "BR" can be so shitty but the fun that came with it, it's worth getting kicked on your shin!!!

And I Thought I Was Like 99% Vainpot.

You Are 62% Vain

You're a little vain, but you also work hard for your good looks. Just remember, everyone knows you are a total hottie. You don't have to remind them.

How Vain Are You?

The Pursuit Of Happyness

It's been such a typical Monday morning. Everything felt lazy and sedate until you click Send/Receive on your Outlook, only to get tons of emails coming in without a stopper. Subsequently, you'll go into this mad no break working frenzy then of a sudden, you'll realise, hey i need my breakfast or my morning tea. Getting those feet to walk to the pantry was torturous. Then i look back, how the weekend actually went, it sent a smile across my face. It wasn't exciting or exceptional, it was as sedate if not even more lethargic. All i wanted to do was to lie in bed and not get up. The temptation of McDonald's breakfast didn't quite succeed.


It can't get any better than waking up slowly to catch the next show and aptly titled, The Pursuit Of Happyness. It wasn't one of those superbly brilliant shows but I'll recommend it just because it's a touching story based on the real life of Chris Gardner. Will Smith did a great job together with his son Jaden. The most touching scene had to be the one they hid in the "cave", running away from the rest of the world seeking shelter in a toilet. It will trigger some soft spot if not your tears. Go watch it and tell me what you think.

I found my happyness by just staying in bed whole day long...

Bathroom Habits

What Your Bathroom Habits Say About You

You are a very considerate person, but that doesn't mean you let people walk all over you. You spend a lot on clothes, and you tend to be a very dresser. However, it's hard for you to throw away trendy clothes when they go out of style. You are a very outgoing person. You are true to yourself, and you never hold back. In relationships, you tend to be very romantic and demanding. You'll treat your partner like gold, but you expect a lot in return.

What Do Your Bathroom Habits Say About You?

We Shall Go For Drinks...

Chinese New Year had always been alot of fun and endless gambling. This year was just weird. It's not so much that i can't go visiting or the drop in red packet collection, it's just lifeless. The gambling were boring, the people were all troubled and i eventually escaped to KL for a short break. KL was fine but i can't believe that i didn't even buy anything, not even a pair of shoes. I'm amazed with myself. I think the mood just wasn't right.

Few people came back for CNY. "Oscarised" and "Gentle Giant" were both stuck in Sydney. "NY Dweller" came back but i merely met him once to collect the shopping i managed to do sitting at home but needed him to lug it all back for me. It's weird to know that "Mr Bright" and "NY Dweller" were once schoolmates. I've always tried to keep in contact with "ND" by calling him during the weirdest hour and grumbling about everything. Until one day he went like, "you know i'm dating someone, don't you?". Well how am i suppose to know if you never mentioned it? Not like it really matter. The only difference was prior to any calls, i'll ask if he could speak. Sounds like an underground affair right. No, it's not. He's just got a ________(fill in the blank) girlfriend. If he doesn't pick up, i know his gf is just near him or he's over at her place. For God's sake, pick up the phone! I'm just a regular friend, making a regular phonecall to check if you're alright, not too stressed with work, not arguing with your gf or something.

Well he's back. We planned to meet up for dinner. Didn't quite work out. Might meet him for drinks, if he doesn't cancel it at the very last minute. According to him, i've got 2% of his time and it's a really GREAT deal. All i wanted was to catch up with you. Well, it might be better off just calling you fortnightly. At the evry least, you had time to talk.

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

How many of us can actually hum to the tune of "I'll Be There For You"? How many of us can actually remember the episode that Ross went to the sun tan parlour to get a tan and ended like looking at a sun burnt Greek bloke? How about the episode which Chandler, while trying to get into the advertising industry, thought of all the funny taglines like "Donuts, Bagels but with a hole in the middle." or "Pen. Pencil but permanent." Well can't remember the exact line though... When we were younger, do the girls around you fight over who's going to be Monica or Rachel and who else is an absolute Phoebe? I'm sure at some point in time, we were all capable of singing "Smelly Cat".

When i was much younger, i used to discuss with my best friends, how our apartment is going to be like and the essence of having a common apartment was portrayed in FRIENDS, simply being with your closest friends and share your lives together and to grow up through endless arguements. This is just not realistic in real life due to the high cost of living and mundane stufs and the reality of arguements actually ruining the friendship overnight.

Even if i could live in an apartment with my bestest friends, i might not do it simply because it's tough to be staying under one roof and the conflicts that arises may not serve to build the friendster but may destroy it. I don't really have OCD but i can be very particular with the general cleanliness of the house and such. I'm sure it's not going to be easy. I'd rather stay alone, how ironic.

Is True Love Possible?

How many of us can actually remember our first love?

How many of us actually forget how beautiful it was?

How many of us actually face objections from everywhere but still determined to go on? Is it possible to just hang on? Do we hang on to prove the world or is it just true love? I just wanna give those of you who are facing difficulties in life or in love, to have a little courage to do what your heart tells you. I took a step forward. Now, i'm actually smiling, something i haven't quite done it genuinely for a very long time.

Like myself, some people just seem bubbly and chirpy all the time on the outside but in actual fact, the pain that's going through the person, you can only guess but never find out.

When you need to cry, you have to cry. There's always someone out there willing to lend you the much needed listening ear and the warm comfy shoulder to lean on. However, you will have to make the first step to get out there, recognise the problem and find the solution. Many times, there may not necessarily be solutions readily available but when there's hope, there's always a brighter day tomorrow. The sun will always shine for us.

JJJJJJeeeeggggiiieee Dai Gah Jhe

When i first came into my current company, i was the happiest camper ever. The best ever colleagues, the best ever boss, the best ever Dai Gah Jhe. "DGJ" used to be a practising lawyer and has always struck me as a superbly intelligent person, fun to be with, excellent cook and a great mentor only second to my ex-boss, "GooLeeEr". "DGJ" is like the big sister whom i've never had who looks after me, shoosh me when my untame mouth leaks, brings me yummy pavlovas and pull me to meetings simply to help me pick up stuffs i should be learning but am not.

When i found out that she was leaving, my tears just came down like a running tap. The office is going to be so different. "GooLeeEr" left and the office has already evolved to a form i can't even recognise and on some days, dread coming in. Now that "DGJ" is going leave, don't think the office will change vastly but to me, my world will be altered. I don't want her to leave but i know she'll be much happier somewhere else. I can see myself running down to Boat Quay to whine and wine with her.

"DGJ" has got the nicest dress sense. She's one of the best cook i've ever come across. But most importantly, she's my "stairwell" buddy. Without her, my world will just lose the "it" in stuffs. Who can i bitch and complain to when i go to the stairwell in future? I guess life just has to move on but one thing i'm sure of is, "Once a DGJ, always a DGJ"

Chris...

I wasn't grumpy or anything dear. I was just too tired from work. In actual fact, i was elated to get your message. Happy Valentines' babe. You know i'll always miss you and have time for you. I understand it's tough to be there alone, without your Dad, Mom, Sis, Oscar, MEEEE!!!! But i'll always be here if you need to talk or rather, i'll haunt you down when you need to talk. Will call you soon, i promise. I have so much to tell you...

Happy Valentines' Day

Initially i was in anticipation, then i decided not to put my hopes high so i won't get disappointed. You came and conquered me. You were standing there at 12 midnight, with the flowers and chocolates, and that silly smile of yours simply tells me that i'm such a lucky girl. One of my nephew,"Didi" once told me, chocolates and flowers are on top of the most unwelcomed gift list and i agreed with him then, but now i do think differently. The sender and his/her sincerity is of utmost importance, i'm telling you from first hand experience. Thank you for all the love you've been showering on me and i'm happily drowning in it.

Receiving flowers doesn't automatically equates to happiness. Got a bouquet from "Domestic Help Royalty" this morning and i wasn't even happy. In actual fact, i was vexed. Doesn't he get the message? I don't reply his smses or emails. That says alot.

Valentines' Day remains a girls' night out. We're intending to stuff ourselves then do further damage to our livers. Right now, everyday feels like Valentines' Day to me.

Chasing Cars

I couldn't stop smiling ever since last night.

It's like a Porsche Cayenne, it's weird, it's nice, it's like a monster consuming you but you just wanna be in it. When you're in it, you feel protected, lucky and loved.

It's been a long time since my heart had beaten faster than a helicopter's rotors. It felt good. Well if i don't die from tachycardia that is.

It's such a wonderful feeling to be wrapped up, snuggled up to and protected from the unpleasantness of the mundane world.

I could get used to this...

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes
They're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things
Will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Haven't Smiled Like This For A Long Time...

Why am i working at 4.30am on a Saturday morning? Why am i bothered to be clearing my emails from home? I guess it's all due to the very fact that i was ridiculously late today. Don't think i should elaborate on it but for once, i felt genuinely apologetic. It's just a bad day and i began the day a really bad way. I hope i'll bedoing real work soon...

Something happened today and it felt like it had not happen to me for a long time. It's weird, in a positive way. I can't say i'm confused, maybe just trying to be careful when it comes to what i categorise as important decisions in my life. At the same time, it's not that i don't want to put myself in a new and vulnerable position, i guess i'm just afraid to get hurt in the process. Maybe i should be more adventurous and not think too much. Besides, at this moment, i know i'm smiling from inside.

I think i should try to sleep before Singapore Zoo sends their headhunter to my place in search of a new panda for the zoo.

I Didn't Fish For This Catfish...

Do we enjoy fishing inevitably?

I met this "Domestic Help Royalty" at the gym recently and subsequently, we just for lunch twice. I should know he's interested and just siam right but i didn't and said yes to lunch. The first one was alright but the second one was a torture. He's just geeky and seriously, not my type. He kept asking, so when are you going to quit drinking? Are you going to quit this quit that? I've only met him for lunch the second time and he's asking if i wanna quit this and that? Alright, off to the bin you go. Well you can't believe how persistant he became. He sends me emails automatically updating me the status of his internet access, his work, his coming trip, his dinner with his friends and it kept coming even if i didn't reply. Then he insisted he needed to get a gift for me for my graduation but i do not want a gift, at least not from him.

Then he called. I was really pissed and busy because i came into work really late today and i had so much on my palate, let alone it's really tough to talk when my boss is sitting just one arm length away from me??!! For the rest of the day, he just texted me NON STOP! HELP! Is there a way to tell him that i do not want to go out with him tactfully? I only want a normal, lunchtime friend. I do not want a bf, not him at least. I wasn't even fishing him. I swear i never gave out or sent the wrong messages. I didn't really sms either. He's getting my my nerves!!!

THE FAT CLUB

I've blogged about "The Fat Club" some time ago while talking to "Jit Eh Knight" then my computer screwed up and it was all deleted. Totally pissed. It was a really really long entry with detailed descriptions of all my big big brothers. After having mid-night dim sum which i really regretted having but enjoyed it nonetheless, I'm going to try to recreate a similar post and add in additional comments and a picture of them when i get home. What has dim-sum gotta do with these people right? That's because i was talking to "Mr Bright" and talked about these guys and realise how much memories there are behind us. You might find new and interesting stuffs everytime you come back to this post to read it again since i'm going to add more stuffs within this one or two days.

Here's a picture of most of the members of "The Fat Club",


"Tua Tao" aka "Razor Ramon" (7th from the left of top row - The Groom) is well-known for his rubber-band time. He got married recently and is having a ball in Shanghai right now. "Red Bean Soup", his wife, had stopped working and is now a full time wife shopping away in Shanghai. I wish i can be there... His wife is like the perfect person for him. Apart from her, nobody can possibily take the ridiculous shit from him. Don't be mistaken, he's not a bad person, in fact i think he's one of the smartest and matured person in the entire group and relatively more considerate than some idiots among us. His sister was my buddy in primary school so i kinda know his entire family, er sort of. Got closer to him since... I guess since i knew "Ketaya" and we made it a point to meet everyone after work to probably catch a movie and have dinner. "Ketaya" and "Tua Tao" had been friends since forever!

"Ketaya" (Second from the 1st Row) is the king of "The Fat Club" until "Gor Gor" took over. "Ketaya" may be big but he's a softee inside. He's probably the sweetest person in the group or rather the sweetest person i've ever known. He doesn't show it like the way he shows off his hundreds of gigabytes of "colourful" videos but i know, he's a man with the heart in the right place. It's a pity that he continues to make little progress in his love life. He's a really attractive person. His personality makes him a very popular figure among this group. You've gotta love this gentle giant.

"Gor Gor" (3rd from left of 1st Row) is "Sleazy Sweetie"'s big brother, as in the blood related sort. "Gor Gor" has been almost like a real big brother to me and sayang me like his real baby sis. I still have a text message he sent me that went, "U know wat? I still think u r a very misunderstood & sweet gal despite wat others say abt u. Like an uncut diamond! I wld hv pamper u to death if u r my real baby sis." We'd go to the KTV and he'll just sit there to listen to me sing, it's fun but can be embarrassing but what the heck right, they're all my big brothers. I try to pick up a couple of Jolin Tsai's song just to please him since he's totally in love with Jolin Tsai. I know he loves me like a big brother but DON'T ever try to matchmake me. Well, unless they meet the cut of the ultimate stringent Fat Club test. Ha!

I used to hate "Sleazy Sweetie" (Not in the picture due to RESERVIST - HAHA!) to the max. He never fails to irritate me, poke fun at me, suan me, disturb me but i know, deep down, he seriously cares for me. Whenever i'm down and out with all sorts of problems, he's always there to give me the hug that i desperately need and console me. But of course at the very same time, he'll grumble as to how stupid i can be to fall into certain traps when this bunch of guys have already set the extreme examples of what sort of tricks guys pull and hope guys go about misleading girls and why guys are such. He'll just say that i never learn then hug me then send me home. I'm glad he found his little Thai girl and that he's a happy man now. You're always be my shoulder, right?

"Jit Eh Knight" (3rd from Right - 1st Row) is the kind of guy you wish he's your boyfriend because he's just so understanding, sweet, considerate... But you sort of fall into the "friends zone" with him very comfortably faster than you know it. Well at least he's got like the sweetest gf on earth. She's a gem. they look perfect together and well, equally funny. Although "Jit Eh Knight" cracks jokes that makes you wanna pull all your hair off, you learn to appreciate his sort of humour and take left nipple jokes like a pinch of salt. (Have to say this before he murders me, he's not fat!)

"Dog Lover Egg" (Second from Right - 1st Row) is someone i'll always have fun with. We blast down the KTVs in Singapore, we sing like we've just escaped from IMH, the fun we had in KTVs are beyond words. He's someone who will sing, scream, laugh with me, ALL THE TIME. At the same time, we're like food buddies. We love food, all sorts, the more fattening, the better it is. Haha. He's hell of a joker and never fails to crack me up. He's got a Maltese that won so many competitions and has so much money that it had to get it's own bank account and the dog's already enough sponsorship to last it's lifetime. Dog's life. How ridiculous.

The 1st on the left of both rows, they're an entity, "Tai Tai In Making" and "Prank Meister". They're the funniest couple you'll ever meet. We will always come up with some sort of prank or idiotic plans. During Tua Tao's wedding, when the above picture was taken, "Prank Meister" came up with this wonderful plan to fool "Black Sheep" (The Fat Chubby thing on the right of the picture).

Apparently, "Black Sheep" was interested in one of the waitresses and under peer pressure, he gave his number to the girl. "Prank Meister" got me to call him since the poor boy hasn't got my number. Well, you see, he hates me cuz i fight with him over the last chicken wing ALL THE TIME. Well this chubby thing actually believed that i'm his "Siew Ling" and he never stopped texting me for the next two days. But i felt so bad the next day that we had to do our usual Simpang thing, get him out and told him the truth. You will never believe how hard we laughed. Poor chap.

The 4th head from the right is "Mr Nice Guy". He's "Gor Gor"'s best friend and he's like this big brother always looking out for me. He's always there, without fail, to man my bag when i go socialising and drinking at Balaclava or when i needed people to listen to me. Ya he's a man of few words and he always listens.

The other fatties who aren't in this picture, apart from "Sleazy Sweetie" will be "Filipino Husband" and "Civic-ing".

I guess it's not too much to say i grew up around "Filipino Husband". I think i knew him since forever and he used to stay just almost right opposite me. So i just got to shout and he'll pop his head out of the window and we'll talk. But he's happily married now so don't know him well enough at this point in time to be able to comment on anything. I just wish that he's happy.

"Civic-ing" is the skinniest among all of them and he always say he's very fit for a 30 year old man and i must say, he is. As far as my memory serve me, he's always been driving a Civic and he's getting a new one soon! He's like my personal cabby, whenever i'm lost i'll just call him and he'll be screaming, "what building do you see now?". He's my buddy and i love hanging out with him cuz he makes me laugh all the time with his silly brainless humour. Whenever i feel lonely and needed someone to have dinner with me, he's always there. But he never joins us for Simpang nowadays... Because he lives in reality time and we're all living in borrowed nocturnal time. He's a good man and i know life will be good to him.

I've tried rewrite this as much as i can remember from history. It may not be very well written because i'm mentally and physically exhausted these couple of days. But all of the above that i wrote, truly came within the voice inside me. I love the bunch of you and you guys have created lovely prints in my life which i'd love to have it with me all my life. This bunch of Big Gor Gors have always taken very good care of me like a baby sister. They've saved me from many empty lonely voids that i'd have never gotten out of without them. You guys are the BEST!

原点 - 现在他在你的身边就对他好一点

拥抱的时候心情有点痛
也去提早感受到寂寞
离开的时候只听见沉默
除了沉默我还能怎么做选择
别对我抱歉别总觉得对我亏欠
现在他在你的身边就对他好一点
不要再让你们的爱败给了时间
既然遇见了永远就不要说再见
不要再让你们的爱输给了永远
我们经过那么多考验
最后还是回到了原点

总有那一天相遇的瞬间
确定那些冷漠的从前已走远
别对我抱歉别总觉得对我亏欠
现在谁在你的身边就对谁好一点

我应该就走开就算感情还在
我应该就放开对他不再依赖
忘了曾有过的片段这是属于你们的未来

不要看到你们的爱败给了时间
我能愿选择离别没有一句怨言
直到你能若无其事聊起了从前
我才发现彼此都了解
默契是最宝贵的语言

Happy Birthday to The Funniest Boss Ever

Happy Birthday, "Comedy Boss"!

It's the birthday of my Singapore office's boss. The last year, it must have been a great year for him since, he's got a new baby and of course, he hired me! Well, not forgetting the big placements he made and tolerating me whenever i come in late.

"Comedy Boss", if you ever read this while spying on me, it's been great working with you and for you. I'll try to do it better but i can't promise i'll be early everyday. In this coming year, have more fun, make more money and probably try for another baby. When you're so free to be reading this, it's about time you gave me a raise!

Carpe diem!

V Day Refugee

We were so late today. Met BR on the train and we both have puffy, swollen eyes. Anyone can tell we're terribly sleep deprived. Serve us right for watching TV till the wee hours on this only night that we can rest our livers from all the alcohol during the week. At the rate we're NOT resting, i doubt our livers will see any improvement.

BR, i don't care if you're going to "old folks home" on Valentines' Day but i'm extending my invitation to you to spend it with me. Alright, i'm pathetically appealing to you to spend it with me. C'mon, take pity in me. I don't wanna spend V Day looking at idiots madly in love walking around and i can't find a place to sit down for dinner. Maybe we should just come out and get some alcohol in our systems and go home for an early night. Well, i know you will be immersed in your bed of roses with "o'folk", i'm just trying my luck.

I do not want to spend my V Day with "Domestic Help Royalty"! If anyone of you have plans, mahjong or bowling or pool or alcohol or movies, just bring me along and save me from all the torture. Otherwise, i'll just have to say yes to "Domestic Help Royalty" and go on another unexciting date with him. It's so sad to be screaming "DATE ME!" on the internet and i'm still being picky here with whom i wanna spend it with.

You know what, i'll buy some popcorn and stay at home to watch the DVDs i've bought 2000 years ago and haven't got a chance to watch.