Work & Play Don't & Shouldn't Mix

Blogs by airline crews that tell all are the talk of the town. Singapore Airlines has already banned their crews from doing so. This boils down to privacy. Most people refer to their friends or family by their names directly revealing their relation and information that might not be personal at the point of publishing but might become sensitive in time to come. Company logos and emblems including the "kebaya" will directly or indirectly reveal the sleazy lifestyles of the cabin crews and this in turn might tarnish the airline's reputation. The act of blogging might be seemingly harmless but in actual fact, if it is an open blog, anyone will be able to access let alone the fact that individual words written in the blogs will be picked up by search engines. Since Day One, I have insisted on using nicknames and some of which I wouldn't even remember in a couple of weeks time and had to reinvent another nickname. It all began because I wanted to avoid some personal implications. It turned out to be a wise decision as many doesn't want their identity and stories to be revealed.

I mentioned way too many times that my blog is my personal outlet. Rightfully pointed out by Urban Legend, it might jolly well end up as someone else's inlet. I kept my entries to very simple and readable layman terms hoping that some of my stories, thoughts or decisions will indirectly affect my readers in a positive way. Admittedly, I've been negative and low but even then, I have received relatively good feedback on how some people can relate to my emotions and was reassured that things will definitely take a better turn. Even so, names are never mentioned to protect the "innocent". The only exception I make are new babies. They are just so pure and new to this world. I don't think I should hide them behind any veils. So far, there's only Laura Widya and Chloe Sim. I wonder how is Baby Laura doing now...

Back to blogging on work-related matters, I have always avoided them unless it's seriously affecting my emotions. Recently, I must say I've been affected more than ever but i know I will be back in shape very soon and be whipping up big numbers in no time. Keeping work and personal life separated is tough, blogging and Facebook just makes it harder. If only we can keep everything absolutely anonymous, that would be great but that too, takes away the fun. All I can hope is for you to enjoy the crazy nicknames I come up with every now and then.

Getting In Shape

Waking up early has always been a challenge to me. But the enthusiasm and adrenalin running through you might just make the difference. When I first started my current job, I was the happy girl, totally in love with every moment of my little life while working for the most wonderful boss in the world. I raced myself to work everyday just to get in before Babooshka Mom. Setting an excellent example, she was always around and has got what it takes to run an office efficiently. She understood the importance of being a good role model. It does make a big difference. The key between being an employer and employee, she had it all figured. Hats off!

These days, I've been getting out of bed later and later and only when being whipped back into shape, I actually got in alot earlier. But I wasn't that happy to get in. I wasn't smiling to myself and hoping that I'll get in earlier than anyone else in the office. All I really do is to pray hard that Shrek don't send me another of those emails telling me how f***ed up I am. The regular humdrum goes...

All I want these days is a good night's sleep and being able to wake up half an hour early so Comedy Boss doesn't have to save my arse by covering it all up for me. I feel so bad having dragged him down while he's also being whipped together by Shrek. When asked about my loyalty to the company, I started to think maybe it's just being loyalty to certain personality. Comedy Boss earned my trust, others will have to do the same. Remorse doesn't affect me anymore. All that is whipping me together is the thought of dressing up "Goma" and oh, the next Miu Miu bag.

Who's The Fairest Of Them All?

Life is so fragile. One day we're celebrating life, the other we get news of unexpected departures. Departures that makes your heart whine in sorrow and your eyes follow suit without much control. Life is too short for us to feel sorry for ourselves and worry about yesterday. I want to smile for today and now. Fact is we do have to worry about the "what if".

The precise reason why my darn bloody ridiculous excess for my motor insurance is out of regular proportion is all because of a big "what if". We can't be absolutely covered for what come may but why do us as humans try to do as much as we can for a tomorrow that we're unsure of even though we don't know if we'll be killed on the road tomorrow.

To say that I asked for it is not entirely wrong since I could have registered the car under someone else's name but it's about time I take on such responsibilities and be a big girl. For once in my life, I'm taking good care of myself and people around me. That feeling is beyond what words can translate.

I can rattle on but today's been just a crazy day. To go on about things I'm not happy with is not the way I do things. All I ever wanted was to be treated fairly. We'll see...

Birthday Announcements

My nose is killing me and it's causing the headache that's affecting my ability to function. Losing sleep should not be a peripheral result of an allergy attack. The dry and sore throat eventually prevents me from falling asleep.

Bunch of announcements!

1. Happy Birthday you Dodo in NY. All the best! Things are already beginning to look up and it will only get better for you. Love you, buddy. I think I should get you a TV so that I can watch it when I go over... Hurhur, I'll just go live with my twin... Oh she's coming back... Oh well, I'll go watch TV over at Yawho!'s place. Can both of you move closer to one another?

2. Happy Advanced Birthday to Grandma. My only living Grandparent... I've been going to church so don't you worry!

3. Welcome to this world, little Chloe Sim. Although a little premature, I'm sure you'll grow up to be a fine young lady. Does that mean that your full month celebration is coming up soon? Dang...

My head is spinning out of proportion... I should get some non irritating light into my eyeballs... No more computers! Bye...

你是我的答案不变的答案

Been more than a week of living by anti-histamines, nasal spray, decongestants, etc. Having the nose perpetually blocked and waking up with a super sore throat doesn't quite help when there are too much work to be completed. Taking time off work isn't an option unless I run out of all possibilities. Believe or not, I've been putting far more effort at work than earlier this year and all I wanted to do was to not sacrifice my lifestyle of traveling and gallivanting around while spending half my assets on a huge liability commonly known as the car. And in my case, dressing up the liability adding on to it's depreciating value.

Ideas and thoughts of various rims started to roam and focus shift and again. The only thing I can be sure is the rim size for now. Mind you, this is an achievement as I was still shuttling between 18" and 19" yesterday. I've decided on the 18" solely because the rubbers are going to be expensive replacements and having decided to dump my money on the really expensive PS2, it's only wise to take the 18". Plus it goes very well with the car 8 x 18. Perfect! Now, we need something that could clear the BBKs in future. If the rims can only clear certain BBKs, then I'll have to make extra effort to afford those "glorified" ones.

My big blueprint is more or less clear. Driving the car stock is not an option, it's a must. At least for the first few months, I will have to know and feel my car so much so I can hear what's exactly wrong. Then I would predict the suspension to be the first to go. KW V2 or V3 or PSS9, still on the drawing board. All I know is to do the anti-roll bar with the suspension. The handling would be the first I have to give some attention to. Power wise, I have more than enough of those at this point in time.

You will start to see my progressively mod diary over here in amidst of my mindless rantings. As of today, the antihistamine is taking effect, the z monster is calling me. I've been listening to the song I posted yesterday on youtube because I can't find the mp3 and they do not have the CD at Gramophone. Repeating the lyrics to myself reminds me of how much I long for your presence. Like you said, it's not easy and I have to live with it. I chose this passage and I will have to bite my own tongue and live through it. Unless I'm told one day that I'm not welcomed in the little house without gates anymore. That is when I'll take my leave...

Am I still part of the thinking process by any chance?

顺着梦的沿岸只有收穫没有遗憾

Caught "Made of Honour" with Ex-Sir's Sir today. He has conveniently became my weekend buddy since both of us have NBTD. Every weekend seems to be major shopping trips for us apart from the satisfying sashimis and Bakerzin'. I bought a VEHICLE last week and he bought a camera this week. I was drooling when I was the camera and the very one I wanted cost like TWICE the one he bought so thou shalt be a good girl and refocus (pun intended) my priorties. "Goma" comes first! Now why do I have to have a special love for expensive boys' toys?

For the past week of so, I've been sniffing, my nose is perpetually red and now it's even peeling, I've been waking up with sore throats with disturbingly-coloured half hardened phlegm, headaches come and go, body temperature goes dangerously up and down, my nose gets totally blocked when I'm ready to sleep or while I'm sleeping. The virus is getting to me...

Oh "Made of Honour"! After the show, we got reminded of "Cholesterol King's" when I was on the phone with Urban Legend and how my ex-schoolmates (all guys except for 1 girl apart from myself) were planning my customary wedding on how they only need the groom to transfer the monies into their bank accounts. These bunch of guys will probably end up as my "bridesmaid" considering my friends are all guys. With the exception of Alkie Empress Dowager who has volunteered herself sometime ago to be my personal wedding planner cum maid of honour. But you can imagine a bunch of guys doing the girly negotiations and all. This will be a sight! Watch this space... Mind you, it's quite a long wait. (Hurhur!)

Weekly mahjong sessions at Cholesterol King's place has become more or less regular and I must say, that takes my mind of silence. Without them, I might have sunk into a point of no return by now. Then again, the thoughts of doing up my "Goma" and how I'd want to do it and who I'd trust for advise had been occupying quite a significant portion of the puny section between my ears. After doing much asking around and reading up, I think concluded where NEVER to go to, who I should go for advice despite the higher price tag, and what I should put into "Goma" to make it a better ride. The choice is clear... The budget isn't. Danger bells have just gone off in unbelievable decibel and I've chosen to ignore. What have I done to myself? Self-poisoning is the worse of all viruses, bacterias and diseases. The mod poison is killing me slowly but surely...



如果世界忘了旋转
谁用春光让冬夜温暖
如果星星不那么灿烂
谁还会向她许愿期待她陪伴

如果今天泪光闪闪
谁让明天值得我乐观
如果怕风少了安全感
谁把我放在宇宙中心宠爱

而你是我的答案最确定的答案
像走在一条花开的路不会错过美满
缘分转几个弯证明我们不会走散
学会用眼神牵手那才浪漫

你是我的答案不变的答案
有了自己的天使做什么都显得勇敢
顺着梦的沿岸只有收穫没有遗憾
被握着手心看的未来永远蔚蓝

True Story, True Love

Says who that true love don't exist. I nearly cried when I saw this. I'm skeptical when I first read it and I actually thought, "ya right". But given the circumstances, who wouldn't want to be brought to safety in the first instance. I believe the scene can't be more touching. I know such sacrifices is absolutely possible. I hope never be put in a test like this but what would you have done?

'I'll be your hands and legs'


Sichuan, China

"Husband, are your feet trapped?

"Persevere! As long as you get out alive, who cares if you're crippled?

"I'll take care of you for the rest of my life.

"When I become your wife, I'll be your hands and legs."

These were the words uttered by Yan Niuniu to her fiance, Tan Xiansong, as he was trapped beneath the rubble caused by earthquake that shattered China last week, reported Tianfu Zaobao.

The 21-year-old man had been taking a shower when the quake happened.

During the shower, he had felt tremors and was certain that an earthquake would occur. He called for his fiancee to fetch him some clothes so that they could run outside for safety.

However, before she could hand over the clothes, the apartment collapsed and both were trapped under the building.

When the rescue team came, Niuniu was first extracted from the debris as she was buried in a more shallow place.

But the 20-year-old refused to be saved first.

"I'm all right, save my husband!", she teared to no avail as the rescue team went on to extract her first.

As minutes turned into hours, Xiansong was finally rescued.

However, there was no fairytale ending to this tragedy. The quake had exacted a price - Niuniu's fiance lost the use of his left hand.

But, the accident did not stop the devoted girl from loving her fiance.

"I'll take care of him. I'll be the hand that he lost."

Staying Stock

The loan is approved.

COE bid was a success.

Motor insurance covered by Daddy sponsorship.

Now, THE waiting game... THE final countdown... 2 more weeks...

The excitement is slowly creeping in. But Dad doesn't like the colour and he thinks I'm still at the deciding stage... Hmmm...

Moving on - Work, friends have heard my screams and cries. In fact, everyone has their whines and cries. I don't do rubbish work and I do make sure, that if I should put my foot onto the accelerator, I'll give it my best. The relationships that I've built with people I deal with are good testimonies of my working style. Remembering Babooshka Mom's words, I know I'll never satisfy the fast ka-ching and some expectations from management. I understand why people need and have KPIs. And as much as I'm whining, I too wish I could fill up those numbers. I just don't fall within this category or a fixed mould. I'm feeling the strain...


This Volk TE37 Time Attack only comes in 19" which I think looks perfect on a little black car, i.e. my "Goma". Rubbers may prove to be more expensive but this is one helluva unique set of rims and best of all, it's forged & light-weight. Leave your comments!

至少还有你

I've been wanting to embark on this topic since last month but didn't want anyone to think I'm particularly talking about them. So I'm not referring to anyone in particular unless I mentioned you or rather, the nickname I've given you.

Financial planning... Here we go.

If memory serves me right, friends and relatives used to avoid the then insurance agents like plagues. I guess times are different and people do accept the idea that they need to have some form of protection/coverage should anyone befalls them. Then the umbrella gets bigger, the protection extends not just to your life and health but to your mind and wealth. The business gets bigger and more people enters the industry. Most are left to sync and swim or just sink. Some emerge better and more motivated people, others just slump further into nothingness.

Just let me disclaim before I move any further, I have my own planning sorted out by someone who's in no way anyway related to me nor by any chance, even a friend. The reason behind this is simple. I want to keep my finances private and getting friends to do it just makes it a little more uncomfortable.

A very good friend of mine, Balloon Sculptor who recently changed got married and has changed jobs not one, but twice, is looking to move yet again. This time he's determined to make it big. I don't doubt his determination one bit, I'm more worried on his focus, really. But well, since he has decided to to put his foot in, we'll just help to pull him up whenever he needs a tug.

Jem called me today and asked about my new car. Frankly, I'd love to have like 10 cars and everyone of you get to do one of the auto insurance. Wouldn't that be great? Dreams aside, Jem recently started her own agency. On one hand, I'm happy for her that she's finally found someone she truly enjoys and her dreams are all so beautiful. I don't mean to be a wet blanket but this world is cold and harsh. Unless you can stay absolutely disciplined and focused, that is a dog eat dog world out there. Having said so, which industry isn't. I can only give Jem my very best wishes and if anyone were to need a financial planner, I wouldn't forget to mention your name.

My buddy who repeated a year with me during my JC days has been in this line for the past 3 or 5 years, till today, she's still madly running around. Whether she has made it anywhere near "the good level" I have absolutely no idea. But lunches with her never go without talking about buying a policy from her and her kind follow up calls makes you feel obliged to want to help her. Unfortunately, for her, my stint in Shanghai has built my resilience although I'm always really close to succumbing to "oh ok then..." My sanity mind and the want to keep my information private is still my utmost priority. I do want to help her so if anyone of you need to speak to anyone "non-obligatory", I can hook you up with the people mentioned above.

But if you ask me who's the best in the market? My answer is absolutely biased. He's not someone I'm using, neither is he someone who needs help. Not any of above-mentioned. Someone whom I totally adore... Make a guess! He's an Urban Legend afterall.



我怕来不及 我要抱着你
直到感觉你的皱纹 有了岁月的痕迹
直到肯定你是真的 直到失去力气
为了你 我愿意 动也不能动
也要看着你 直到感觉你的发线
有了白雪的痕迹 直到视线变得模糊
直到不能呼吸 让我们 形影不离
如果 全部世界我也可以放弃
至少还有你 值得我去珍惜
而你在这里 就是生命的奇迹
也许 全世界我也可以忘记
就是不愿意 失去你的消息
你掌心的志 我总记得在那里
我们好不容易 我们身不由已
我怕时间太快 不够将你看仔细
我怕时间太慢 日夜担心失去你
恨不得一夜之间白头 永不分离

Goma Goma

Been extremely busy the past days. It was a long weekend with Vesak Day just over. No short trips this time round. More exciting news awaits...

Sitting here with every muscle in me aching away. With viral fever, there's probably nothing much medications can do but just rest it out.

Back to the exciting weekend. Loads of mahjong games, evened out with no significant winnings nor losses but I did sign a huge cheque. Probably the biggest I've put my pen down on, ever. The result of this big action would be revealed in this little black monster with 200bhp coming my way in 3 weeks time. I must admit it's a huge commitment but I'm ready to take on the world. Well, with merely 200 horses, maybe not the world, I'll start with the track.

Having test driven both the Mini Cooper S and the Volkswagen Golf GTi, let me have a short writeup and you there, sitting at home or in the office reading this, shall have a smart guess on which is my ultimate choice.

It was a close fight. So close that I know the other car that I didn't choose this time round, will make it to my top choice in my next purchase. After talking about my choice in cars for ages, I finally muster enough courage and "strength (in terms of my bank account, at least for the meagre downpayment" to head down to Leng Kee for test drives. See, I never quite had the mentality to spend weekends test driving cars out of fun and instant pleasure. So only when I have decided to take the plunge and yes I'm going to be "married" to my "Goma (My car's name for the time being)", I made 2 appointments, one with Veedub and the other with Mini.

Chronologically, we took the like cute Mini out for a ride. If you think it's cute, wait till you hear the thing roar! The power kicks in the moment you let go of the accelerator. Yes, auto. I know I was talking about the manual and totally in love with the manual but I can't get over days when I want to perform my "Superman" stance i.e. one hand on the hand rest and the other on the steering wheel. Too much of a lazy bone in me. Having said that, the drive was wonderful. Probably because the test drive route was longer and made up of a good mix of straight and winding roads. Needless to say, the handling was superb. It felt raw, point and shoot instant reaction from wheel to wheel and all these were before the sports button was switched on. In sports mode, the steering tightened even further, the power was instant and reaction was pure superb. The car felt so close to the ground and the grip was unbelievable. Back to the showroom, the colours were limited. My favourite astro black with white roof and red interior was available but unfortunately, it was the display unit. I didn't quite like display units stuffs because I always end up with them and I have no freaking idea why. I believe with the JCW engine tuning kit, this car would be a demon.

Next stop, Volkswagen. First, I took the lesser of the two brothers, the GT for a ride. This was far too docile and nothing like what I had in mind. It was nothing comparable to the Mini and later on, the GTi. The GT was a total waste of time. It felt powerless, almost like a NA car. The interior wasn't far better. None of it screams quality. It was a quick drive and finally came the hothatch rabbit - the Golf GTi. After the disappointment with the GT, I thought I might as well head back to Mini Habitat immediately and dump my downpayment for the little power. Once on the road, this hot hatch showed me the power it's been wanting to unleash. The handling and steering wasn't as fun and tight and the Mini and it was no way as sticky given the higher centre of gravity. But mid to high end, the monster kicked in. Going faster was a breeze. It felt a little more floaty than the Mini but hell, it was simply too powerful I can't find a better suited word to replace. Now, this is true competition for the Mini. The SE wasn't quite keen to throw in alot of goodies and my bargaining skills... Let's just say there's still plenty of room for improvement.

Now the interesting vote takes place. Which car do you think I eventually picked? Click on comment right below and tell me what you think and given that the very few of you reading my blog, I need some comments to liven up this place. Teehee...

Another 3 weeks of waiting game... Like what Dpointt said, it's gonna be the longest wait of my life! Thou shalt continue reading up on coilovers...

Wandering

I haven't been able to form a complete sentence and have been deleting half completed posts. My mind isn't complete. My soul is lost. Bear with me. Let me recompose and I'll try again soon.

Taking Time For Granted

Propaganda plays a big part in our everyday life and I never quite doubt what I read on BBC News or what I see on Channel News Asia but the whole Myanmar Cyclone disaster has made me look at things in a different light. The media is largely controlled by the bigger and stronger nations. Do we ever wonder why Burma never quite wanted Americans to step foot on their land? I wouldn't if George Bush, the warlord + Texan oilman, is the president. There are resources to be exploited and the Americans are not going to give you all these help for free. Nothing is free in this world. Why aren't you people seeing it?

As much as I think Myanmar should push for democracy, let the votes decide and the people vote for what they deem as representing their voice. Taking advantage of these countries when they're most vulnerable is just not fair to anyone. Media is so controlled by these people on top and we are so gullible as to believe whatever it portrays. I suppose I'm a victim of such manipulation myself. So with my little insignificant voice, I'm telling you, "whatever we see or hear or read, there's almost always another story behind it."

Some funny clips to get you past the day like it cheered up mine...





Was suppose to catch "Jacques Brel is alive and well and living in Paris" with Alkie Empress Dowager but a meeting which I didn't know when it'll end forced me to cancel it. However, I did finally find time hit the gym and burn off some accumulated guilt. Subway completed the "I need to stay healthy..." régime and hopefully it'll last more than a month. Since my New York trip, I'm been diligently paying for my gym membership that could have been put to better use.

Life is short. Not quite an epiphany but it's a constant reminder to myself that I have to embrace life more than I've been doing. Dilemma being I can't decide if some things are a waste of time. Time is the very last thing that everyone of us should or could waste. Hanging on to a lonely belief is not easy... It's started to freeze...

Reduce, Remove, Redundant

Haven't been feeling too well to put together something to post. This is like month of natural disaster with the cyclone in Myanmar followed by the earthquake in Sichuan. The world is like falling into shambles...

I have successfully weaned off unnecessary internet activities while at work and putting in extra effort to keep pressing on. Right now, I just want to get my butt moving and off to the gym more often. Since I've been trying to stay away from the sun after the chemical peel, I haven't been wakeboarding like I should. But the photoshoot last week reminds me that I got to work those pui pui away. If you think this sounds funny, it is not. I'm really upset with myself for having the lack of discipline and I will have to defy all natural odds to get back into shape.

Had dinner with Mom and Dad last night and they brought up Grandma again how how good would it be if she could enjoy the good food I've been bringing my parents to. I really miss her and the love she showered on me. No one else will ever love me like she did. Shouldering the need to be a stronger me, I just miss the support she would give me if she's alive right now.

I wish my life is less sucky...

For you crackberries...

我這樣愛你

Totally forgetting how tough a photoshoot can be, I agreed to participate in one when Camel Chairman called me a week ago and told me of this shoot. The pictures are not out but I must say I had fun. OLL Lao Da texted me in the morning telling me of the name for the shoot. It's to be called Yang Guo and Xiao Long Nu because the number of models were reduced to the just the 2 of us. Then Ang Mo Phil became the Aussie bred eagle Yang Guo once had. I have no idea if Yang Guo had an eagle but OLL Lao Da kept me pretty entertain. The perfectionist in him, the determination to produce the best results greatly impressed me. To make sure his body's in tip top condition, he went tanning everyday for 3 weeks and went to the gym even more regularly. Such magnitude of charm in a person can only be found in OLL Lao Da. As for myself, I felt bad that I didn't find time to sculpt my body for this shoot (in fact I did absolutely nothing to help with the water retention) and was shocked when the makeup artist put on the pink wig on me. My clothes were suitable so they put together some white clothes just draping around me. The end result is me stuck in a super duper awkward position having my back photographed.

I hate weekends because it reminds me of how lonely my life is and how dreadful weekends can be. It's during the weekends that I'm being conveniently forgotten. Well, not that I'm usually being remembered. I'm losing it...



This song means alot to me. The conversation, the lyrics, the pain...

I hate myself for not admitting that I'm in the back seat.

Look at me
You may think you see
Who I really am
But you'll never know me
Every day, is as if I play apart
Now I see
If I wear a mask
I can fool the world
But I can not fool
My heart
Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside
I am now
In a world where I have to
Hide my heart
And what I believe in
But somehow
I will show the world
What's inside my heart
And be loved for who I am
Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me
Why is my reflection
Someone I don't know?
Must I pretend that i'm
Someone else for all time
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside
There's a heart that must
Be free to fly
That burns with a need
To know the reason why
Why must we all conceal
What we think
How we feel
Must there be a secret me
I'm forced to hide
I won't pretend that i'm
Someone else
For all time
When will my reflections show
Who I am inside
When will my reflections show
Who I am inside

Sponsor A Child

It is a fact that I don't donate to any Tom, Dick or Harry charity I see on the streets. On an annual basis, I make donations to charitable bodies I deem to have some amounts of interest in, World Vision being one of which. In the light of the recent Cyclone Nargis event, I would like to bring this up again.

There are many children in this world who needs help, as much of it as possible. At S$45 a month which is equivalent to about 2 dinners with friends or a pair of shoes, it could help a community and a sponsored child. The money helps to create employment opportunities for these communities and children are made sure that they have an opportunity of being educated while not having the need to work in order to provide for themselves. Personally, I think World Vision has done a great job over the years and they have been very transparent. Their financial reports are submitted to the Commissioner of Charities and the Registrar of Companies. In return, you get to help a community, receive copies of World Vision magazines, annual progress reports and a Christmas card from your child. You are also welcome to visit and write to your sponsored child. Please do consider giving back to the community with what little we can do.

The links are as follows:

World Vision Singapore

World Vision Worldwide

World Vision News Updates on Cyclone Nargis

World Vision - Sponsor A Child

Every child is precious...

What Women Want

I would never, in my life, imagined that I'd love a show like Ironman even when it stars Robert Downey Jr. But I did. Loved it. It was absolutely fabulous and it gets 4 out of 5 PlatPopcorns from me. There wasn't a dull and boring moment and there were so much of humour and excitement, we were just glued. After a hard day a work, I was more than likely to fall asleep on the less than comfortable seats at Shaw. My eyes were kept wide open throughout the show and we even attempted to stay till the last of the credits since A&E Quack believed that there's some must-watch surprise clips by the end of the credit roll.

How many times have we come across Swarovski crytal and totally succumb to the attraction and blinding blings? Please think twice before you ever buy any piece of Swarovski in Singapore. I'm not asking you not to buy and this is based on pure facts, not at all defamatory, so have a read and decide for yourself if you wish to purchase Swarovski in Singapore in particular. The customer service leaves much to imagination. Mom got Grandma a gift some time ago and the crystals started falling off. Apparently they had to send these to get fixed in Switzerland. So we did. It came back and the same thing happened again. It has nothing to do with customer service, just the less than satisfactory quality. But at least 2 of my colleagues have had tough brushes with the customer service. They take forever to get back to you and never once, provided relevant nor desirable services to salvage the situation. If you think you'll never have to deal with their customer service, by all means, go buy it. As for having to deal with the customer service, just pray hard that you won't ever have to deal with them. I'm not gonna go into any more details since I've still got my arse to protect.

The SE at Mini Habitat has failed to convince me why I should be paying more than a friend who incidentally is some kind of celebrity. Well, I've never quite looked at him as a celebrity so it's tough for me to figure why I have to pay more for the same thing. Let's see what new quotes he's getting me or I'll just stick to my original plans of getting a GTi, which is alot cheaper!

Where Art Thou, My Iron Man...

DGJ is the latest recorded victim of my cryptic blog entries. I suppose I don't blog to inform the rest of the world that I just had my lunch or had a verbal fight with the last cabbie. This blog is pretty much my mental and emotional outlet. I may not sound coherent cuz it is not in my character to write totally organised article and to review it 2000 times. It's almost instant what I am thinking of at this particular point in time, I'll type it right down. But luckily for you readers, my brains aren't that disorganised so I still have a recognisable trail of thoughts.

A couple of questions for all you men out there...

Would you date a woman who can't have a conversation with you?

Would you marry a woman who can't have a conversation with you?

Ironman tonight with Silver & wife, Acupunch & wife, A&E Quack & date AND ME! Fill you guys in on the gory details tomorrow.

Bachelor Girl

You must have learn of this whole Myanmar Cyclone thing that could amount to a total death toll of more than 50,000. This is insane. I was just right there 3 weeks ago and the beautiful sites of paddy fields and all is now history. Anyone doing any fund raising for them? Any rescue teams need volunteers? If you wish to lend a hand, please visit World Vision.

If you ask me, I have a very weird way of interpreting this whole Nargis cyclone thing. I think it's God's will to halt the entire false move towards democracy and stop the ruling generals to go ahead with the referendum on Saturday. This is THE crunch, the crucial point to force the government to open the country up to foreign aid and assistance which we subsequently hope if this happens, the economy will open up and the general Burmese living standard and conditions can improve.

On a totally separate note...

The Aussie band, Bachelor Girl, has totally disappeared after a few good hits. In particular, this song strikes a chord in me. I must have been in high school when this song was out. Bizarre lyrics like "So I walked under a bus, I got hit by a train" may sound really crazy but hey, don't we all feel darn crashed and burnt whenever we fell out of love and in some circumstances, in and out of love.



Hey Mom
Why didn't you tell me
Why didn't you teach me a thing or two
You just let me go
Out into the World
You never thought to share what you knew

So I walked under a bus
I got hit by a train
Keep falling in love
Which is kinda the same
I've sunk out at sea
Crashed my car, gone insane
And it felt so good
I want to do it again

Hey Mom
Why didn't you warn me
Coz about boys is something i should have known
They`re like chocolate cake
Like cigarettes
I know they're bad for me
But I just can't leave 'em alone

So I walked under a bus
I got hit by a train
Keep falling in love
Which is kinda the same
I've sunk out at sea
Crashed my car, gone insane
And it felt so good
I want to do it again

I wanna do it again
Oh, felt so good

Hey Mom
Since we're talking
What was it like when you were young
Has the world changed
Or is it still the same
A man can kill and still be the sweetest thing.

So I walked under a bus
I got hit by a train
Keep falling in love
Which is kinda the same
I've sunk out at sea
Crashed my car, gone insane
And it felt so good

So I walked under a bus
I got hit by a train
Keep falling in love
Which is kinda the same
I've sunk out at sea
Crashed my car, gone insane
And it felt so good
I want to do it again
I want to do it again

It was just a few months ago, I was told I was wonderful. I haven't changed. Things felt all wrong and went all haywire. I'm so tired. Why don't we have an emergency "Pause" button so we can stop life for a while?


18" on a black Mini, what say you people out there?

My favourite comic stripe and this one in particular, cracks me up. I love the way Sherman and Megan interacts.

Up Up And Away

This must have been the 2000th time that I'm changing my mind between the Mini Cooper S and the Golf GTi. Along the way, I've been swayed by the luxurious 1 series. When the logical side of me took over, that phase was quickly out. The cost of it is not justified by the engine, the heart of the car. The GTi with the DSG gearbox is extremely tempting. After getting past the emotional stage of the GTi being a thirsty car, I had to run into "300" during the last BMWsg meetup. He gave up his monstrous Murano for the cute little thing and convinced me to put the R56 Mini up to JCW stage one, the cost is minimal. Now, that moved me. Given the handling and the look of the Mini which everyone seemed to agree unanimously that it suited my image, I think I'm gonna blast my big cheque of this little monster. The JCW tuned version would boost 196bhp, wouldn't that tempt you?

Went for foot reflexology with my parents today. I was almost dying in pain and my think-skinned parents said they didn't feel a thing. I think my skin's just too delicate. I'd think twice before going for another one of these sessions again. Looking back, I was so mean when I thought those Taiwanese artistes were putting up a show when part of the punishments for the games were foot reflexology. Trust me, it hurts and if you ask me, could be compared to childbirth. And yes, I can say this cuz I've never given birth before. (Teehee...)

My skin's been terrible these couple of days. Zits are erupting and the rest of the face is just lacklustre. The rest of the week is going to be filled up with eyebrow trimming, facial and rushing home early to "mask" it all up. by end of this week, I should emerge to have better skin. Above all these rescue work, I've got to have sufficient sleep. Lines are appearing and acne's sneaking its way in. And all I need is just another extra hour or so of sleep every single day. thou shalt be more disciplined.

I can't force myself to walk out of the door but I can do what pleases me. Even if it means this brings extreme pain, the smiles and hope this brings is beyond what anyone can comprehend on my behalf. Maybe I'm stupid... I'm dying to be proven wrong.

该唱首什么歌来纪念爱的傻

It was yet another long weekend and as you can see, I wasn't quite concentrating on blogging. Not to worry, it's not due to any negative comments whatsoever and it doesn't bother me at all which was why I published the comments anyways.

Spent the whole of Saturday getting Batam-ed which essentially means that I spent almost an entire day at the spa and did an insignificant amount of shopping. This trip was very last minute and I decided to just go for it because I was so emotionally exhausted, I thought I should just forget that the world was still revolving. Quite obviously, it didn't work. As though the entire day is not taxing enough, I came back to a mahjong game which lasted till Sunday morning.

Managed to do some shopping on Sunday over at Sim Lim, frantically dressing and protective my new toy, the K850. Speaking of which, I finally got myself the light sabre looking phone. People who know me really well would think that this is pretty rare. Being the sort who would die to be the first few to get hold of the latest gadget, I should be thrilled over some state of the art phone and not one that has been launched for months. Yes yes yes, I did drool over it when it first came out but with the last few phones, I should have already learnt my lesson that if I have a little more patience, the prices do drop by quite a bit even just over a span of just 3 months. It did and I got myself a uber decent phone at a reasonable price. The reason for picking this K850 over the iPhone - The first generation of iPhone should still be in the process of immunizing against bugs whereas my previous K (Kamera) phone, the K750 served me well. With 5megapixels to brag, the images are extremely sharp. I can still remember my first digital camera with only 1 or 2 megapixels. These are the stories we tell our kids in future... "During my time...". Having said all these, I don't mind having the iPod Touch in my handbag.

Jewellery is a part of every girlies' world, not quite mine. I do get gifts in those little turquoise-coloured boxes that send every girl crazy but I have never quite bought myself those exorbitantly extravagant sparklies. However, I broke the rule today. For the first time, I got myself some blings, not huge and super blinding ones but something that I've always wanted. Conveniently while browsing, with very little persuasion, I got Mom her the most expensive Mothers' Day gift from me so far. I got her some small bling. I must say they are not super duper impressive but I did feel the pain when I paid for it. The message that I wanted to send across is not so much to impress anyone with excessive diamonds but to reassure my Mom that I do recognize that she's my only Mom and no matter what, I will still do my duties as a daughter and I genuinely appreciate her going through the pain of bearing us and bringing us up. Although with my Grandma around to bring us up, it wouldn't have been one of those painstaking effort but to simply bear with us was enough. Whenever I hear stories of how friends cope with their babies waking them up throughout the night, I will in fact appreciate a mother's patience and love more than ever. I can so understand why all Moms tell their daughters, "you will know what i mean when you're a mother".



让你逃亡又让你回航
让你依赖我也让你倔强
只要你微笑
带一点感动的泪光
我就得到可以再给的力量
我让你飞翔又让你说谎
我让你苛求我也让你奢望
我还以为爱
就是要体贴的退让
我们一起盖的罗马
你却跟他拆了城墙
踩过我用挚爱建筑的天堂
太绝对的爱变成了活该
朋友要我责怪我却只想重来
也许这就叫爱

Strip Me?

All you idiots who didn't tell me that I've got a funny strip of hair after I straightened it deserves a tight squeeze around your neck. I've been looking weird for like ages and no one told me. Just before we board our flight to Yangon, Jewell and Mask Bunny actually asked if I intentionally kept a tail or something. Keeping a tail? How professional that would look on me! I can't imagine. I am so gonna get a haircut today...

Things around me are changing and to say my life is screwed up isn't quite fair. It is not but I know it will only get better so pray for me.

Just out of curiosity... Tried Strip?

Strip me? Ya you wish...

Mini Me

No one likes to be wronged. This sentence is exceeding true for me since people often misconstrue or misunderstand my intentions or actions. Thinking that friends would understand me better, I rarely go out of the way to impress others because that defeats the purpose of finding true friends and when it comes to acquaintances, I simply can't be bothered to try. This is a fault and I know very well. Truly believing in friends who know me, will understand my intentions or the lack of it very well. To be wronged by people who seemingly know me proved to really hurt despite the intentions of the other party. The torturous refusal to explain the situation either due to discomfort or pride proved to be detrimental in life's many relationships.

Been psycho-ing into looking at the Mini all over again. The very moment I bring up the MCS, I hear endless approving nods from people around me. Apparently, it suits my petite, short, round, big eyes, flat butt, chilli padi image. It would be a perfect match with DPE ST-7 but to think the hissing supercharger would now be non-existent is vaguely disappointing. Having said that, with JCW tuning made easier on the pocket, the pocket rocket seems to draw me nearer and nearer to its habitat. With 22 more horses under the hood, my heart is tempted.

For the first time in many months, things are clearing out with credit card bills looking cleaner since Tiger first fell ill and the stretched New York trip. This overdue clearance means that Mom and Dad are well-rewarded with as much help as I can offer to make life better. Took Mom out marketing, super-marketing, shopping and made sure that she didn't have to worry about many things in the next months to come. At least, this aspect of my life, I feel that it's all complete and that people around me are being well taken cared for.

Over dinner earlier, Dad talked about me getting an apartment now since prices are at a low despite the crazy shootup last year. To be fair, it's not quite low but it is definitely not going any lower than this point. To end the numbers talk, Dad just said that since there's space at home, I'm welcomed to stay with them until I can afford to move out so meanwhile, I should seriously consider getting a car. My Mini is waiting for me...

Innately Habitual Defence

Most people will know me as rather chirpy, energetic and hyper. Most of the times, I can't even differentiate if I'm doing this habitually or if it's innate. After all the hype, I'll usually deflate when I'm all alone or whenever I'm with people I'm entirely comfortable with. Walls of defence are usually up without any specific intention to do so but supposedly it's a natural human defense. I'm not even sure if I've got a wall around me now. What's second nature?

Hope & Health

The last time I shaved bald (my head that is) was... Well, eons ago.

I was thinking this is a good cause to lose my hair for but the logical side of me quickly took over. Given the nature of my job, my bosses will go ballistic if I turn up bald one day even if my clients and candidates are acceptable to the idea of me losing my hair for charity. If you are able to do it, I do urge you to participate and sacrifice your crowning glory for these kids. Check out their website.

Time to keep fit! Put on those running shoes and join me for the Shape Run. Giving me some good reason to hit the gym once again and train up for the coming run. Pray hard that my ACL, lateral meniscus and collateral ligament don't act up. Ice... Ice... Ice...

Menstrual cramps used to be foreign to me. I used to think my friends are crazy to be taking really strong painkillers for pain that I've never experienced before. Recently, I've been contemplating going on the Pill. Yes yes, I can imagine those faces reading this. Birth Control?! It is but I'd rather call it hormone regulating pills just because they are. My main concern is if it will have a more permanent effects which is usually not reported or elaborated by the pharmaceutical companies. As long as it doesn't affect my ability to have kids in the long run, I think it's a win-win situation since it leads to better skin condition after taking it for some time. Any voices for or against taking the Pill?

Drifting By Crossroads

Formula Drift rocked. With compliments from Mask Bunny, we were seated comfortably in the Grandstand, otherwise, I'd been charred under the scorching sun. The SPF50 on my face doesn't quite seemed to help since I woke up today with red hot cheeks. My personal favourites would have to be Ryuji Miki and "Madmike" I was rather disappointed when Madmike came in 3rd since I think he's the most skillful drifter present yesterday. Nonetheless, they all put up a good show. There were several funny moments. Eg. The tyre delivering machine, or whatever it's supposed to be called, passed us and we were all cheering it on. And one of the cars had both its bumpers fell off during one of the runs. After that drag, the car looked "botak".

Just one question, let me know if you have got the answer. "Why does the safety car always have to be so fugly?"

Met with some of the old Sharkies yesterday and one of whom, "Not So Spartan 300" has just gotten his new ride. The MINI Cooper S to be specific. Absolutely gorgeous and I'm once again tempted to check the MINI out. The main thing now being Raffles' Place being the ultimately tough place to get season parking and everyone's been encouraging me to get a piece of property instead. That is totally out of my league for now. It's in the pipelines though and I'm pretty happy bunking in with Mom and Dad for now... Until Mom gets on my nerves again that is. Besides, a house is not a home without the components that makes it home. But but but... The MCS and GTi is having a really close fight in my puny little thing called brains now...

Yippe, my Twin in NYC is coming home soon. I'm quite sure she'll be back this year!

I went down to the crossroads, fell down on my knees.
I went down to the crossroads, fell down on my knees.
Asked the Lord above for mercy, "Save me if you please."

I went down to the crossroads, tried to flag a ride.
I went down to the crossroads, tried to flag a ride.
Nobody seemed to know me, everybody passed me by.

I'm going down to Rosedale, take my rider by my side.
I'm going down to Rosedale, take my rider by my side.
You can still barrelhouse, baby, on the riverside.

You can run, you can run, tell my friend-boy Willie Brown.
You can run, you can run, tell my friend-boy Willie Brown.
And I'm standing at the crossroads, believe I'm sinking down.

爱是一滴眼泪, 还没凝固已经成灰

爱怎么做怎么错怎么看怎么难怎么教人死生相随
爱是一种不能说只能尝的滋味试过以后不醉不归
等到红颜憔悴
它却依然如此完美
等到什么时候
我们才能够体会
爱是一朵六有天飘下来的雪花还没结果已经枯萎
爱是一滴擦不干烧不完的眼泪还没凝固已经成灰
等到情丝吐尽
它才出现那一回
等到红尘残碎
它才让人双宿双飞
有谁懂得个中滋味
爱是迷迷糊糊天地初开的时候
那已经盛放的玫瑰
爱是踏破红尘望穿秋水只因为
爱过的人不说后悔
爱是一生一世一次一次的轮回
不管在东南和西北
爱是一段一段一丝一丝的是非
教有情人再不能够说再会
教有情人再不能够说再会

I breathe every single breath with every passing second. It becomes easy to get used to the pain and silence. The noise and laughter seems to drown the cries and whines of sitting here facing 0 decibel. Waking up to a sarcastic bright cheery blue sky, your face comes to mind and I wonder, when will I wake up staring into your sleepy eyes awaiting that cozy "good morning" and a tight big hug. I can't tell you how much I miss those dreamy yet focused eyes. There are times when I feel like wailing a bucket but do you know how I really feel and do you care that it hurts so bad for me. Till this day, this very minute, I still insist on walking this dark tunnel that seems to go on forever. Every now and then, I'll be finding myself excuses to walk away, as far away as possible. But every single attempt proved futile. It's purely a belief, the trust and the love I've never experienced in my life which I can't explain. The disappointment of the realisation that I'm the only idiot in the entire universe to be feeling such is starting to hit in real hard. Is it wrong to insist that this is not a dream?

Hold me tight. 我也会有想哭的感觉

Home for This Doggie?

One of Fat Club's Jokers found this dog on Pasir Ris Farmway 3. He was attacked by stray dogs and is now homeless. Good samaritans able to adopt a dog and wishes to consider this dog, please contact me. However, do not think it's cute and adopt animals on an impulse. You must preferably have experience with taking care of dogs.

Gender: Male
Age: At least 5 years
Breed: Jack Russell (Pure)

If you can provide a good home for this cutie, please let me know in the first instance.

Shoulder To Cry On

Heard this song over Class 95, got reminded of Elementary (Primary) school when I first got introduced to pop music and then, Tommy Page was hot stuff! Looking back, it was just a song with soothing tune and today, it carries far more meaning than just a old pop song. It takes really bad and down times in time to allow us to sit back and reap the friendship we have sown. Some friendship need not take years but with a genuine heart, we can easily find some shoulders we can lean and cry on.

When I put up my status on Facebook wanting a shoulder to cry on, my phone buzzed within the next 5 mins. Alcoholic Empress Dowager expressed her concerns and reassured me that if when I need a shoulder to cry on, she will be there. There are many kinds of shoulders people need in different times and no matter when and where, a true friend's concern is always appreciated. Urban Legend Wifey has through her actions also reminded me that she will always be there to share the cup of Milo with me and I know during in times of need, I have enough shoulders to cry on.

Life is full of lots of up and downs,
And the distance feels further when you're headed for the ground,
And there is nothing more painful than to let your feelings take
you down,
It's so hard to know the way you feel inside,
When there's many thoughts and feelings that you hide,
But you might feel better if you let me walk with you
by your side,
And when you need a shoulder to cry on,
When you need a friend to rely on,
When the whole world is gone,
You won't be alone, cause I'll be there,
I'll be your shoulder to cry on,
I'll be there,
I'll be a friend to rely on,
When the whole world is gone,
you won't be alone, cause I'll be there.
All of the times when everything is wrong
And you're feeling like
There's no use going on
You can't give it up
I hope you work it out and carry on
Side by side,
With you till the end
I'll always be the one to firmly hold your hand
no matter what is said or done
our love will always continue on
Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on
everyone needs a friend to rely on
When the whole world is gone
you won't be alone cause I'll be there
I'll be your shoulder to cry on
I'll be there
I'll be the one you rely on
when the whole world's gone
you won't be alone
cause I'll be there!
And when the whole world is gone
You'll always have my shoulder to cry on....

Urban Legend has recently lost the Urban in the Legend. Either the transformation from a myth to someone who beyond doubt, existed or that this Legend took a step back into reality where life rightly belongs, gaining the lucidness from the loss in the process of the recent transient. Have I lost the Urban or gained a Legend? Sigh... The very meaning of Legend seems to hold the same weight and volume as memories. You think about it but it's not real anymore. Is it all over? And I thought although Urban Legend isn't the best thing since the invention of sliced bread, he's at least real. Or is it?

Does Manuka Honey still tastes the same?

Will one actually be missed due to non-presence or conveniently forgotten since "out of sight, out of mind" pretty much works for everyone? At least for me, absence makes... Rather not want absence. Bleah...

Love Deeper, Speak Sweeter

Taken from one of my favourite songs, "Live Like You Were Dying" by Tim McGraw.

and I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter
and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying
and he said someday I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dying

Life is so short. Over lunch, Ex-Sir's Sir was telling me of the passing of the brother-in-law of my ex-classmate who just got married last month. I met the chap during the dinner and you would never imagine him to be someone who would die young. About a fortnight ago, he had a stroke while waiting for a friend. A passerby found him lying unconscious on the street and sent him to the hospital and by then, he was already pronounced brain-dead. Life is just so unpredictable. But to live like you were dying can prove to be really tiring so I guess the main gist is to do things we wouldn't regret. At the end of life, the very second that we breathe our last, we should not be feeling guilty or empty because we haven't loved deeper or spoke sweeter. Simple things is life can be made so much more fulfilling. Life is unbelievably short, we have to make full use of every possible moment. Tell the very person who means anything to you at all how you really feel because you may never have another chance to say it.

Manuka Honey knows why Manuka Honey is Manuka Honey and is not forgotten.

As for tonight, I'm going to drink and be merry.

Good Night

If you are still wondering why I've gone quiet and posted a song, that's because I'm down with an evil flu bug and all I've been doing is to walk around with my iPod, repeating that song, Angel. Before I left for New York in December last year, I took a flu jab and since then, I've been down with an obviously different strain of flu at least thrice. Either I have a really weak constitution or travelling doesn't do my body much good.

I feel that I've got so much to say but I'm just too tired to type anything so cut me some slack and I shall be back very soon before you know it with some good stuffs. Stay tuned and watch this space.

Before I go catch my 40.. er maybe 80 winks, these couple of days since I got back had been great for me to catch up with friends and people important to me. It's funny how I see life quite differently now... Not that different but significant enough to stir some emotions in me. Fill you guys in soon.

Weightlessness

Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There's always one reason
To feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there

So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lie
That you make up for all that you lack
It don't make no difference
Escaping one last time
It's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here

Heart Murmuring

Been feeling miserable the entire day sniffing away and trying to fight some fire at work. Even when I've been given tomorrow off as well, I supposed I'll get my ass back into the office and start pushing myself harder. My nasal cavity is all stuffed and I sound like someone is pinching my nose.

Found out from the doctor that my Mom, despite constantly getting on my nerves, she actually is hoping to see more of me and looks forward to have dinner with me. Guess I've been so busy with my own stuffs that I forget that she's alone too. Next week on, I must make an extra effort to keep her company.

Having had an entire day at home allowed me to think about certain things in life yet again. When one is sick, you tend to think about the most uncomfortable and upsetting things and that was exactly what happened. I repeatedly asked myself why did I put myself in a situation when I know I'm just forcing on a smile everyday. All I wanted was some TLC or simply having someone ask if you're fine. "I'm not fine. I'm sick and I feel like crying."

As things crawl and inch forward, if not backwards, I'm slowly sinking into a self-reproach mode. Most people in their right mind-frame will make a conscious effort not to come into someone else's relationship and become the third party. But given the time and day we're in, some people can't help but fall into the trap. Most of us at one point in time of another, would probably have experienced being a third party somehow. It just happens no matter how hard we try to avoid it happening. However, what is potentially frightening is becoming a backup plan conveniently. Not that anyone intentionally planned for things to move in a certain way but the way things work, some things or people inevitably become backup plans. Many have said that this is the worst position to be. Others think that one just chooses to dismiss it or not see it. There's no explanation for staying in a situation like that because one may or may not know that they have unknowingly became "The Backup Plan".

Some people are just born unlucky being caught in such situations all the time or one just never get to meet anyone who genuinely cares. Either way, this stupid swine has chosen to stay for something she genuine believes to exist although it might be just another case of The Emperor's Clothes. Maybe she's stupid and maybe she's naive, she's here to stay.

Someone kill me!

I need to go back to ride some waves but Dad is constantly reminding me of my heart murmur and in the light of Darwin Peh, he's not going to let me do any rigorous sport anytime soon... Pah!

Almost Here. Not Quite Here. Not Here.

You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.
You'd be like Heaven to touch.
I wanna hold you so much.
At long last love has arrived
And I thank God I'm alive.
You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.

I can't seem to paint the right picture of the party I had there and insanity is purely understating the event. Even Mask Bunny was having trouble trying to explain to her friends that we were thrown into a rural forest and stuck in a 5 day tribal party. All we had was too much of alcohol, most of which straight from the bottle, very much like how crazy partying goes on in many other places. We had everything, you name it. Vodka, bacardi, bourbon, whiskey, tequila... The "manh dats" were well constructed and was really stable though I wouldn't quite use state of the art on the structure. The streets were surprisingly clean and neat. Only where there were mud and sand, mixed with too much water from the river, some places got a little... Ewww but mind you that's only the party place. Everywhere else was NORMAL. A bit like the laid back areas of Malaysia, but alot cleaner.

Pardon the way that I stare.
There's nothing else to compare.
The sight of you leaves me weak.
There are no words left to speak,
But if you feel like I feel,
Please let me know that it's real.
You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.

Just when I thought I was the cheapest drunk around, Mask Bunny wasn't any better. We did well for someone as cheap to turn drunk as us. At least I didn't throw up one bit for that 4 days of non-stop rave partying and drinking. I had so much to drink I can't even believe it myself. "Wake up! Brrrr"

I love you, baby,
And if it's quite alright,
I need you, baby,
To warm a lonely night.
I love you, baby.
Trust in me when I say:
Oh, pretty baby,
Don't bring me down, I pray.
Oh, pretty baby, now that I found you, stay
And let me love you, baby.
Let me love you.

As for the music, I have to say I was rather disappointed. Cheesy songs were played repeatedly and I meant REPEATEDLY, say 10 times a day and I'm so not kidding. Should Mask Bunny or myself hear the remix versions of Avril Lavigne's Girlfriend or the Tokyo Drift song or Fergie's Glamourous one more time, we're so gonna roll ur eyes and throw up but we'll still continue dancing and drinking. Teehee...

Having said all that, I simply can't wait to go back next year...



I would change the world
If I had a chance
Oh won't you let me
Treat me like a child
Throw your arms around me
Please protect me

Superwoman

My idea of being the superwoman to my man is to be the good wife and mother but what makes a good wife and mother?

This trip to Yangon truly opened my eyes to how different cultures view their values and roles as a woman/wife/mother. Women my age would have been married and possibly already have a couple of kids by now. Take for example, May Thet Kyaw (I'm using her real name because you probably wouldn't know her and she's the best person I've ever met in my life and is probably my new role model). She's married to Jewell's brother and I'm telling you, he's the luckiest man on earth. May's like the best hostess ever. Since the minute we landed, she took care of our every need. She was always there to help us and always keeping a lookout. She paid for all our dinners and refused to let us pay for anything. We barely used any money while we were there because everyone's just so warm and hospitable.


May Thet Kjaw first from right.

May has 3 kids, 2 boys and 1 girl, eldest is about 12 or 13 years old. (Mind you, she's just 4 years older than me). They are all superbly disciplined and the little one, Phu Phu, my personal favourite, is just a sweetie. Of the 8 days that we were there and being in the same car with the kids to and from the beach resort, we have never heard them cry or whine. The kids all have their maids or servants or playmates tagging along all the time but they will never be out of their mother's sight.

As a traditional Burmese woman, she's not allowed to run her own business and even if her husband is against her going out and working for dough, she wanted to do something she liked. So now, she runs a boutique and regularly travels to Bangkok to stock up. She is the epitome of what the Chinese describes as able to walk into the kitchen and at the same time, able to walk out of the living room.

Did I forget to mention, she's beautiful as in slim, nice skin, gorgeous features?

Just a note on the side for many women who tend to forget that they are wives after they became mothers. Not that I think it's a bad thing but we should never forget the foundation of having a family. Unless you were match-made, a family unit always grows on the foundation of love, the love that's being built between and man and wife unit. I actually saw that trait in Mom and I couldn't stop but tell her how much I love her. Taken from one of Oprah's episode, "First a wife, then a mother."

Thingyan 2008

"I'm back!" goes my first SMS out to everyone the moment I landed and even when the plane was still taxi-ing, I didn't care. I needed to return to reality and have some form of phone signals. In case some of you don't know, which is entirely possible, I'll be using Burma & Myanmar interchangeably because IT IS THE SAME PLACE! Similarly, Yangon was previously known as Rangoon.

My main purpose for this trip is to experience the Thingyan i.e. the water festival. It is actually the pre Burmese New Year celebrations. I didn't quite expect what I got myself into. I'd rather not call it culture shock because it is although the culture but does not quite reflect the Burmese day to day life.

When we touched down on Day One, we checked into this beautiful hotel, Mi Casa. The airport was gorgeous considering it's only a few months old. Frankly, I wasn't expecting the neat and clean service apartment nor the Hong Kong International Airport lookalike airport, so I was more than thankful.

My travel partner this time round was just like me. I'm the chunky ever-eating monkey and she's the energizer bunny. Both of us love our tea the same way, we like our food with ketchup, we hate vegetables and in fact, I probably take more veggie than she does but most importantly, despite all the similarities, we like different types of men. I'll have more stories of Mask Bunny and myself below.

After we checked in, we went on to Jewell's brother's place which has a guard house, massive land, 2 dogs and housed a warm family of 5. Over there, we were introduced to the Burmese currency, the Kyats. And if you think you're holding stacks for rupiahs, think again. The biggest denomination is 1000 kyats which is equivalent to a little less than 1 USD so in order to survive a day, you are require to bring stacks and stacks of cash. To tip with endless pieces of 1000 kyat notes seems pure extravagant and trust me, it's alot more fun than you think.

After getting baked under the sun and in the air-conditioned house (!), we made our way to the "mahn dat" which is basically a stage like platform and it could probably house a few hundreds of people. To get into one of these, people pay indiscriminate amounts of money and the poor will just roam the streets. Water was everywhere and people on these "mahn dat" will just spray water at everyone including pedestrians on the roads, all in good fun. It costs about 60grand kys to get into ours and it's supposed to be the better one. We got in free because Jewell's cousin was the co-organiser. The people who were on our "mahn dat" were all her friends and many of whom are the offsprings of some of the most influential or disgustingly rich people in Burma. By disgusting, I don't mean it to be disparaging in any way but I can't seem to find a better word for that. It's pure obscene.

In a normal day Burma, people are relatively conservative. During the water festival, people go wild and crazy and using alcohol as the excuse, they flirt and party their heart out. On a street like a expanded Pasar Malam with more than 50 "mahn dats", the heat was just all around us, surrounding your every pore. In fact, we arrived on the second day of the water festival and missed a day of fun.

When I first got there, I was rather skeptical. I kept asking Mask Bunny repeatedly, "are we going to do this for the next few days?", "do you think we'll survive this?", "what am I doing here?!". We had plans to go sightseeing and do the what not shopping but only upon reaching there, we realised that it was their public holidays and just like Singapore during the Chinese New Year period, all the shops were shut. As we walked up the steps of the "mahn dat", we felt ourselves getting wetter and wetter and not before long, we were all drenched.

Friends of friends with bottles of alcohol approached us and before we knew it, we were drinking off the bottles. Over the span of 4 days, I've had more alcohol than I've ever taken in my entire life. Initially, I tried to get away by using my allergy as an excuse but realising that it doesn't work at all, I gave up and started drinking. Surprisingly, I didn't get drunk and trust me, I can't drink for nuts and I gulped down quite a deadly dose. I strongly suspect it's the never ending flow of water that was constantly and consistently cooling our bodies down.

Before I left for Myanmar, Mao Meen told me to get water purification pills. But it ran out so I didn't get any. Even if I did, it would have been totally useless. The amount of water I've been ingesting that was being sprayed all over me was beyond any form of control.

By Day Two, I was enjoying the party and I let lose of any inhibitions, I started drinking more and I was just dancing from dawn till dusk. By 2 or 3 pm in the afternoon, I would have been in a total high and possibly forgot my name. Luckily Mask Bunny was with me and we were constantly watching out for one another and winging each other. Anytime some cutie approaches anyone of us, the other one will sneak away like a crab but close enough so that when the guy goes off, we're with each other once again. When if the less welcomed guys come along, we'll just hug each other and dance and I swear, most people there probably think we're in love or at least, bisexuals. I knew who ere her eye candies and she knew the exact "Teddy Bear" who was "hanging around" 5metres from the locus. "Teddy Bear" was my eye candy and speaks with a light sexy Brit accent. Like most Burmese men, he's got beautiful eyes and those lips were just so kissable. But having said that, most Burmese men are still very cautious of kissing some girls although they have no qualms with hugging and dancing with you. So do make an intelligent guess if I managed to get a kiss from this "Teddy Bear".

On Day Three, we were aching all over but continued to party. We were hooked. Mask Bunny actually went home with Pui Pui Cousin Porky. *sly smile As for me, I went on to explore the Chinatown in Myanmar after dinner. By then, Jeffers De Jay has already arrived. JDJ told us that we were lucky because this year, the water's really clean. He went last year and went home with rust stained white t-shirts.

Day Four was the last day of the water festival. I wore a dress that got very translucent after getting all wet in the water. I was so embarrassed but that lasted but like a whole of 15 minutes and once I got enough alcohol in the system, I just ignored that. I should never ever wear a dress to the water festival ever again.

Day Five was supposed to be easy and slow before Mask Bunny and myself fly off the very next day but after being easily coerced by JDJ and Jewell, Mask Bunny and myself followed them to a beach resort in Ngwe Saung near Pathein, Bay of Bengal. And you've guessed it, it's owned by Jewell's friend. I pampered myself to a scrub and massage and I did nothing else but recuperate from the 4 days of insanity. And finally, I had access to the internet over at the resort. With a healthy dose of Manuka honey, all I wanted was to come home quick and safely and if it means to camp over at the airport, I'd do it. That was precisely what I did. But now that I'm back safely, the least I wanna do is to disturb anyone's life or to mess anything up so I'm just being a good girl and I'm staying at home blogging away for you people to read and catch up with my life.

Don't you dare think I was over worrying before my trip because my life was indeed in danger amongst all the party. The "mahn dat" we were in was co-organised by some general's grandson so we were the "MAIN TARGET" for any possible bombs but now that I'm back, I can't be more thankful.

I'm just glad to be home even if it means Mom can't stop nagging at me...

Living Emo Will

Should I not be able to make it back, let's just say that I'm extremely glad to have people who cares for me. Whoever left me that message for me to come back in one piece, I don't know who you are and if you know how to get me apart from my blog, do send me a message. Pray for me... But if anything should happen to me, my Dad gets everything I own, though nothing much. My organs are to be donated.

If I don't make it back alive, the bar fridge in my room will go to A&E Quack. To be able to see you guys before I leave makes me feel that this world is still such a wonderful place with friends.

If I make it back, I know I'll be a much better person. This trip will start my South East Asian exploration tour. By end of this year, I should have already brought myself to Cambodia as well. If I make it back...

All I want is my Manuka Honey...

Subjectively Democratic

As some of you may be aware by now that I'm be flying off to Myanmar on Sunday. The news the last few days did worry me but I'm one of those who constantly feel lucky and that "this will never happen to me" mindset never quite left me. Urban Legend Wifey's little brother, "Superstar Candidate" has been discouraging me from going. Mao Meen's been very sweet and very concerned with my safety. I still want to stay alive so that I can claim my Max Brenner chocolate back from him... Haha! During coffee break today, I was telling Urban Legend Wifey that if I'm unable to make it back alive, what do I have to say to some people but judging from her uncontrollable laughter, I doubt she remembered anything I said which was essentially one sentence with 2000 permutations and variations. And to have a recording of my last words to be only put up to YouTube should something unfortunate happen to me would only mean that it will never be put up anywhere on the web because it will be technically impossible for this smartie girlie.

Frankly, I'm starting to get slightly worried for my own safety for obvious reasons. JFGI: Myanmar Politics or News

At the same time, some people's concern came pretty unexpected and should I say it's untimely. Should it come much earlier months ago, it might have made a difference. But having said that, since I'm in a temporarily dormant stage, such concern comes much as comfort and possibly more reasons to look further. I suppose some things in life do happen for a reason. The only thing pulling me back isn't a stubborn personality but because I believe this is the only time in my life, I'm hanging on to what is possibly the best thing that will happen to me or rather happened and is happening to me. Some people may never experience truly loving someone in their life. I'm learning and I'm not sure if this is the right emotion but I'm willing to put my life on it. On my birthday this year, though I was pissed, I clearly remembered telling a special someone, (or was it later on when I was sober) but anyways, I said that I was willing to entrust my life in his hand and for me to be able to do that, it required alot of courage out of me and most importantly, I have never ever said that in my life and such thoughts have never crossed my mind.

My blog entries' always been very cryptic but not what I have said above. I truly think that there's a certain level of danger this time round by going to a place where according to Mao Meen, it's the most dangerous place only second to Iraq at this very point in time. I know like for 70%, I'd be back alive but to have a 30% chance of getting kidnapped or killed, that is insane. In any case that I don't make it back (choy choy), you should know very well that I have so much faith and trust in you, it scares me. And believe it or not, there is only one person in this world I feel that I can entrust my life to and to start a family with. Am I repeating myself?

Maybe if I'm able to come back alive this time, I should really learn to face reality and stop dreaming. What's meant to be yours, will be. Vice-versa. I can only hold on to what's filled with hope, not emptiness. I can only pray and I will do just so...

By the way, "We Will Rock You" rocks and although I haven't heard like 50% of the songs, I knew more songs than I thought I'd know anyway and the atmosphere was just contagious. By the finale, we were all on our feet and our hands are waving all over the place. I can only wish that all these things I'm enjoying in my life, I could share the joys with you... I can only wish...

Breathe Hard, Hardly Breathe

Zhoos gave me the shock of my life but telling me that he's got a minor heart attack last week. Stop eating those unhealthy instant noodles you dodo! When things are right at the bottom, the only way is up. Hang in there! I'm just a phonecall away... *sob *sob

Girly bonding session with my new special assistant, Angel's Voice, brought us to steamboat and in this weather, it was heaven. The day was completed with my favourite Horlicks ice-cream with gummi bears & shortcake. Decadence!!!

Menstrual cramps and suspicious stomach flu kept my face purple for a good part of the day. I was feeling so lazy but I had so much grounds to cover before I dump everything to everyone else for my Burma trip.

Come tomorrow, I'll have half a day of super hard work and we'll be catching "We Will Rock You" after dinner. I can't wait.

From the short sentences as if I'm hard of breathing goes to show I'm mentally drained and I am indeed hard of breathing. I just hope that I won't have anymore nightmares and pains so that I can at least have a good night's sleep.

Enjoying a good chat with Unexpected Pilot and I'm glad, a concerned friend still exist. Genuinely. Buddy, we should have dinner when you get back from your training in Perth. A great way to fly... Haha... Cheesy I know but what do you expect, I'm exhausted.

任性

With compliments of Fatshark Guru, here's my eye candy of this season. He's cute, talented, hilarious, smart, witty, what more can a girl ask for? He'd better not be gay. If you're wondering what do I know about him, that cuz his FAQ list listed it all HERE.

Fatshark Guru will be home for a week and it has to be the whole week that I'll be away. I'm leaving on Sunday morning and he's only arriving on late Saturday. We'll probably rub some air between our shoulders the next Sunday when he's returning to Walldorf till end June. Let's just hope that he's not jet-lagged on Saturday and we can do some catching up before I fly off.

The only thing we can be sure of in life is change.

Still remembered when we sent Lampung Prince off, we met his Grandma but little did we know then that it would be our first and last encounter with her. Having gone through the same myself not too long ago, I can only say that we will never recover from the pain and I still mourn over my loss but what we will do is to learn to live with it. With everyday that passes, we will be stronger and tougher. For me, every image that very day is still vivid. As a result of several false alarms, most of the people were tired but it was the eve of Hari Raya. Right after work, I rushed to be by her side. Although she wasn't very conscious, she heard the very last words I would ever say to her. The next day, she left me for good. That was the first time she left me to fight my own tears...

Cameo Performance

In the general circle of people I mix with, some girls are easily mistaken as "village bicycle" or similar awful names. I've always stood by my actions being my testimony. Closer friends tease me for being a prude but I know they do respect me for the person I am. Had a chat with Silver today over coffee break, he concluded it's the company some people mix with and not so much their actions. I reckon it's good for me that this bunch of chaps whom I hang around with, bring their wives along and all of them know who I am. I get along with their spouses pretty well and some even more so than the boys themselves. Take for example, Breyton's Urban Legend Wifey is my 24 hours helpline and Silver's "Husband for Rental - Tickets for Sale" wifey is volunteering to be my wedding planner should I ever decide to walk down the aisle, Como's not so girlfriend but don't know what at stage kinda friend, Alcoholic Empress Dowager, has become a close friend of mine through wakeboarding, mahjong lessons and drinking games and she has agreed to be part of the jie mei entourage on my "not so soon and nowhere in the near future" wedding.

Part of the fun with the crazy group...

* Look out for the part BobbyTay pushes away our new member, the young padawan...

All clean fun is definitely possible. Mountains can move but characters don't. He will only help those who help themselves...

The Buildup

I can't believe how blur I am but long of the short, I was stuck in last week's planner and was expecting a call this evening when I already had that chat. On my way home today, I texted Mom to get me dinner as I was preparing for that phonecall. Mom told me over the weekend that she'd in Malaysia and I forgot about it entirely.

I could have taken a day off to sweep some tomb, something I used to do every other year but it seems to me that there are some people who uses this day to "perform" their filial duties and I have made it a point, a reminder to myself, that I shall not be as hypocritical as these people. My conscience can testify that I was there for my Grandma every moment she needed someone by her side when she was still alive. I don't see putting up a show just because you want to prove to the rest of the world that you actually care. If people did care, I wouldn't need to spend the last few years before Grandma passed on, begging that good for nothing son to come home to visit her and to get his even more good for nothing, sickening, utterly useless son to come over to find Grandma for a chat. And during her wake, his son has the cheek to stand outside and not pay his respect and the man himself who called himself my Grandma's son actually shouted at me beside my Grandma's dead body. I have lost the respect I had for the man for over 20 years in that 20 seconds simply because he did not respect the person who meant everything to me. Until today, I can't still can't forget how he made me cry and how I couldn't stop crying for the next hour or so. I can only choose to forgive, no matter how painful it still it.



I have never felt more alone but neither have I felt that I need to be stronger than ever. I suppose that's the survival instinct. At the same time, I'm so afraid that that's a natural mechanism of self protection which eventually might do me more harm than good. Unable to tell anyone anything, my outlet is getting smaller and the funnel is building the pressure in this tajine.

Having a sudden craving for couscous...




如果还有明天
你想怎样装扮你的脸
如果没有明天
怎么说再见
我们都有看不开的时候
总有冷落自己的举动
但是我要把握每次感动
如果还有明天
如果真的还能够有明天
是否能把事情都做完
是否一切也将云消烟散
如果没有明天
要怎么说再见

Old Wounds, New Life

Guess who I ran into on Friday during dinner with Urban Legend Wifey? Munchausen Syndrome! Apparently, he was with another girl, someone I know and someone whom I would have already imagined him to be out with. I didn't quite run into him face to face but he did text me and told me that the girl saw me but they didn't come over to say hi. Even then, he was still telling half truths and didn't quite say he was with her. I wonder why... Very frankly, I am really glad that he was with someone. Only goes to show that he has moved on and time did help his wounds.

Putting things behind me where they belong, the karaoke cum birthday party for A&E Quack was fabulous. The response was overwhelming and even as I say that, it was a total understatement. There was easily 30 people in a room catered for 15 and with some who came and went, we definitely had more than 40 people gracing the event. As usual, there was an overload of alcohol. There were easily 20 jugs of beer, a bottle of the Sar Lau drink and er... Too much for my puny brains.

Managed to catch "Semi-Pro" with Ex-Sir's Sir yesterday and Will Ferrell is simply hilarious. I must say it's not one of his best but definitely worth catching it. One of my favourite Will Ferrell's clip as George Bush.



After the movie, we head over to Foreman's place for mahjong. During the six years when I vanished from the face of this planet, loads happened and only till these one year or so that I realised what I've missed out on. I don't know if it's too late to catch up since most of them are married and some are even done and over with marriage. But we spent so much bonding time when we were in school, nothing can quite take it away from us.

Today was all for myself and on my own. I caught up on sleep but somehow, I actually find it tough to sleep past 8 hours. Chatted with Mom & Dad over lunch and checking out if there are new problems waiting for me to solve. Quite obviously, there are loads of them and may be more than I can handle. As the responsible child I have always wanted to grow up to be, I have consciously put these problems in my head and I've already started to plan on how to solve them. I may not be a perfect child but I have only 1 set of Mom and Dad and I'd like to keep them happy even though they drive me nuts at times.

Went for the last service and for 2 weeks in a row, I got my spot in the auditorium. I'm so loved. Just some food for thought - We will always be better, many times better than our last job, our last relationship, etc, just like how God made us much better than the man before Adam sinned. If He is not the one to put us through tests and trials, who actually does? I know for sure I will not be put through those trials because I have asked for it not to happen on me.

Don't fall asleep yet. I know this is not the most interesting of all things but these are things that impact me on a daily basis and I want this to be someone else's inlet as much as I see this as my outlet. And while I share, I know I have the capacity to take in more... So, just receive! Ta da!!!

Way Back Into Love

Happy Birthday, A&E Quack! Hope you have a great day. Birthdays are meant to be the happiest day because it's all about you. At least for me, my birthday this year was the most memorable day in my life. You're so gonna get trashed tonight buddy.

"Music & Lyrics" is one of my all time favourite movies apart from the fact that Hugh Grant is absolutely gorgeous, the story line was attractive in its own right. The songs were funny and unbelievably witty. The retro sounding "Pop Goes My Heart" reminds us of the Rick Astley times. The lyrics of the other songs like Way Back into Love and Don't Write Me Off started to leave a more impressionable mark than before. They were very sing-along but at least to me at this point in time, it carries a more significant meaning behind it.



I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need them again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's gotta be something for my soul somewhere

I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night
I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions

All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end

There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation

All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end



All I'm asking is, don't write me off just yet...

I miss the smile, the tight hugs and the mid-afternoon calls that makes the day. Am I just another forgotten child and life totally forgot to consider me for love. For once I thought I've found someone, someone whom I can live my life with and see myself having a family with. Please don't take this all away from me...

Hold me tight...